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*oleymoley agony aunt


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Troubled and confused by girlfriend and her kitten

Q.   Dear all This problem is a bit strange and you may think I am weird, however this is just the way I am. I am in a long distance relationship with a girl I love very much. We have plans to be together soon. Recently she out of the blue to...

A.   8 December 2017: Why dont you take the cat ? ... (read in full...)

Was it inappropriate for my wife to wear the revealing dress just to get back at me?

Q.   A short time ago me and my wife had an argument just before we were going out to meet friends for some dinner and drinks. She wasn't quite ready, so she said she would meet up with us later. So I went and met with our friends. She came in about a ...

A.   20 November 2017: be glad that hot little lady is your wife-YOURS... (read in full...)

Would this relationship be wrong?

Q.   I've already asked this question but I didn't outback detail in to it so I'm gonna try again! Is it wrong for me to be falling in love with my soon to be step uncle ? I've recently turned 18 and he's recently turned 21. My uncle is marrying ...

A.   19 November 2017: Go for it. Hope it works out for both of you. There is nothing wrong or sordid about this. Apart from not being blood related there is enough degree of separation to tell any one interested in voicing their opinion to mind it! ... (read in full...)

How can a wife cheat for 3 years and act like everything is ok?

Q.   After I found out that my wife was having a three year affair with another man, I gave her an ultimatum and she ended it....she eventually told me that she made a big mistake, and didnt know what she was thinking the past three years...I found out ...

A.   11 November 2017: When you are as cunning as her i suppose it would be easy and over three years i guess even easier because it became the norm. I agree with Honeypie, 3 years (1095 days) is NOT a mistake by a long shot, it was a deliberate and well executed ... (read in full...)

Does he like me? He has a girlfriend but what's with his behaviour towards me?

Q.   There's a guy who I work with, we work at a recreational centre for youths. I've noticed he's been acting different around me when we work together. I'll list a few examples: whenever we talk, he'll make eye contact and then he looks at my lips, he...

A.   7 November 2017: Flirty little chap, I have to agree. Be careful...... (read in full...)

Why would he say "I love you" if he has no intention of changing his life for you?

Q.   If a married man you've been involved in a long term relationship with tells you he loves you, could he really mean it, even if he will never leave his wife to be with you? It's a terrible predicament to be in when you realize you now love this ma...

A.   29 October 2017: saying I love you is cheaper than paying for it- ... (read in full...)

How do I tell my online guy friend that I won't be able to keep talking to him every night when I move in with my boyfriend?

Q.   So to give you a little bit of context - I've been talking with this guy over the phone for a little over a year (we met online) - Let's call him James. He lives in the US and I am in Canada. We used to talk dirty to each other over the phone during ...

A.   28 October 2017: Its all good and well that James knows about Anthony, the problem is Anthony doesn't know about James. being he is your boyfriend your need to decide where your loyalties lie and how you would feel if the shoe was on the other foot. You have a few ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend says his phone was hacked. I don't believe him.

Q.   I recently found pictures of my significant other in his phone along with seeing him on website called backpage. I viewed his history and found him looking up girls in different areas. He denied taking those pictures in my bed from not even less ...

A.   28 October 2017: "In your bedroom" " hacked" -sheesh! Of course you don't believe him, who would. Thats as believable as "I slipped and my dick accidentally went into her vagina"- Move on girlfriend... (read in full...)

How do I explain to my fiance that I want to go out dressed up as a female without hurting her feelings?

Q.   I'm engaged to a wonderful girl. I've always considered myself a female in my heart. I have been crossdressing secretly in the past but I can't anymore. I really want to go out and be feminine once in a while. I explained my fiancee my situation. I ...

A.   28 October 2017: If I understand your post correct, her conditions are NOT to let her see you dressed as a woman. I think you are on a winner with this woman mate. She seems to have accepted this is a part of who you are and want to express, that takes great love. ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend took small amounts of money from my purse! What should I do?

Q.   I was dating a guy for 3 months, who I love, and knew was broke/unemployed. 2 weeks ago, $15.00 was missing from my wallet. I thought I miscounted, so the next time he came over I took a pic of my wallet, so I knew for sure. $20.00 went miss...

A.   26 October 2017: Bullet dodged if in fact that is without a doubt correct. No matter how poor or unemployed you are. Stealing is stealing and him doing it right under your nose is him taking you for an absolute idiot. Don't prove him right trying to get back with ... (read in full...)

He's changed how the trip expenses will be split!

Q.   So, I'm in a relatively new relationship.....we met in June but things have gotten more serious in the past 2 months where we now are exclusive......he's been talking about an event he wants to attend in the big apple in december and so we've been ...

A.   24 October 2017: Well that doesn't sound very fair, to go back on his word. Be frank and up front by saying while you don't mind paying your way, that's not how he pitched it to you in the first place. I think it is rude to assume that someone is OK with financial ... (read in full...)

My guy friend denies being in a relationship and lied about becoming a father

Q.   Hi everyone, so this situation is going to sound kind of crazy. There's this guy who I've been friends with for about 2 years. At this point, we spend a lot of time together, keep in contact on a daily basis, and share a lot of personal information ...

A.   18 October 2017: Sounds like he enjoys the thrill of female attention. Not that he is obliged in anyway to divulge his personal status , given you are just friends it does seem something, Id consider, to be the norm in conversation. Perhaps he was trying to get a ... (read in full...)

Does this age gap between us matter?

Q.   I am 27years old and the love of my life d one I wanted to marry is 37years old by age.we both love each other so dearly and he is a man every woman would wanted as a husband because he has d attribute he is loving,caring,calm,hard work and lastly ...

A.   12 October 2017: No, if you love him like you do why should it and others opinions bother you. Love, laugh and live ... (read in full...)

Am I being too materialstic and self sabotaging?

Q.   Am I being unrealistic? I am 50 and dating a man for close to three months who claims he is retired, I came to find out he was laid off and doesn't want to go back to work. I find myself paying more often when we go out, it is a huge turn-off. I ...

A.   10 October 2017: Nope, It would pis me off too. You only need to put your hands in your pocket to get a tissue.... (read in full...)

I'm pressured to get married how can I cope?

Q.   Is it too late to have kids in your 40"s . I am 31 and single and not dating - I have chased men for the last decade and have only LAnded on abusive men. I don't know why family puts pressure on me to get married and do things by the book but they ...

A.   9 October 2017: You do what is right for you, and thats OK! Having bad relationships take their toll so I think it is so very important to have the most important relationships now you can and that is with yourself. Both OK and WISE.Assholes can smell vulnerability ... (read in full...)

He found the girl he dumped me for was too costly and wants me to take him back.

Q.   So, this guy and I were dating for almost two years and he proposed to me in May. A few weeks later he tells me hes going on vacation with his old crush/ friend since high school there both 28. But they have been friends forever. So, he breaks off ...

A.   9 October 2017: WOW WEE WOW WOW! He really does think he is it and a bit doesn't he. What a cheeky bastard to think he should so much as consider grovelling back to you. AND what an absolute insult to think you would or should consider it. You're smart to tell him ... (read in full...)

He was looking at provocative image!

Q.   Hi I'm looking for some advice I've never had to do this before. My question is how am I supposed to feel about my partner of 15 years was working on his laptop and stepped outside for a smoke I was unpacking shopping and on his screen was a picture ...

A.   7 October 2017: Get hot buff dude for you screen saver. There really is no winning these kinds of arguments. Chances are when you think it's all done and dusted its only because they are more careful. I think if you are a little flexible things may not get too out ... (read in full...)

Other people have forgiven him, so why cant our children?

Q.   One year ago my husband of 23 years was arrested, he had been looking at underage pornography. 45 counts of category a amongst other. Myself and our family were totally shocked as he had always been a very good person who helped all the family and ...

A.   7 October 2017: "I would lay my life down he would never have touched a child" I'm not sure why you cant make the connection to the sheer gravity of his actions. It makes very little difference to the abused children he watched for his sexual gratification.Watching ... (read in full...)

He's bragged about cheating on me behind my back but denies it when I confront him!

Q.   Have been told by strangers, friends and family that my boyfriend of twenty years has bragged about cheating on me every chance he gets when he's working out of town. He actually butt dialed me during one of his bragging sessions to a friend and I ...

A.   2 October 2017: Unless there is some conspiracy against this man of yours -sure give him the benefit of the doubt. But really, come on....can so many people have it so wrong, including his butt? Your making a bigger fool of yourself than he, don't do it to ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's mother came over and rearranged our bedroom, I can't find anything!

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years now and we live together. He is 22 and I’m 20. Let me start off by saying, I think family is super important and I would never want to come between my boyfriend and his family. But it bothers ...

A.   28 September 2017: Nooooooo way- NOT COOL! Totally disrespectful and invasion of privacy. As for that bf of yours- same same, maybe if HE cleaned up a bit then maybe his mum would not feel the need to still be wiping his nose for him-Sheesh! Next time why not leave a ... (read in full...)

Fiances mother is refusing to come to our wedding unless we change our plans

Q.   firstly, thank you for taking the time to read my post. I'm having problems with my fiancées mother. Backstory: me and him met in school, at15, we've been together ever since. We got engaged may 2016 in Fiji we had originally planned a two wee...

A.   28 September 2017: Oh boy. Truly I think your soon to be MIL is being selfish and unreasonable. Stick to your plans, they sound wonderful and intimately right on track for what, IMHO, a wedding is-sharing it with those who are important, not every Tom Dick and Harry ... (read in full...)

Is this something I can fix by correcting a few actions in our relationship? Do I give her space and trust that she will end up with me? What do I do?

Q.   My gf of 1.5 years recently told me that she likes a guy from work as as more than friends but is unsure about what to do. She said she loves me and she doesn't love him because it is too early to tell. She said she recognizes that it is unfair to ...

A.   21 September 2017: Give her space and lots of it. So much space that you have room for someone else. I mean really, there is honesty in a relationship, that I totally respect and then there is ...HONESTLY!!! as in are you for real honey? She is cheating, just not ... (read in full...)

I moved to be nearer to her, now she has broken up with me.

Q.   I'm fifty years old and moved over a year ago to be near my girlfriend she is 48 and I thought she was the love of my life. Suddenly she started saying she was busy all of the time and tired So I havnt seen her in two weeks. Tonight she broke up ...

A.   11 September 2017: Real sorry this has happened to you, hardly fair and must hurt. Who knows why people choose to do what they do and act so poorly. Relations cool down, people turn off but that is no excuse for txt'ing someone a break up- thats just cowardly and ... (read in full...)

I'm having trouble putting an affair partner behind me

Q.   Hello everyone reading. About nine months ago me and a married man whom I had a two year emotional affair with ended completely with a mutual understanding that we could never have a relationship due to the mess we created in his life. When it ...

A.   7 September 2017: Hi Op You mentioned" like I owe her an apology she'll never get," Why does she never have to get one?They only person stopping her from receiving one is you. Have you considered penning her an apology on your behalf, not his-thats his job and busi... (read in full...)

What's with the condoms? Is he lying to me?

Q.   Hello, My fiancé and I been together for almost 6 years and about 2 years ago I've found a condom in his jacket pocket and I asked him about it and he told me it was from us from the beginning of us dating. And now I found another condom in his ...

A.   7 September 2017: Check the date on the packet. ... (read in full...)

What's the future for me as the other woman?

Q.   I am in a relationship with a wonderful man who I love and he loves me. We are very happy however I am "the other woman", even though our relationship is serious and we've been together for like 3 years, because he's cheated on his current/previous ...

A.   4 September 2017: Your future with this man is your 'today'. Whats going to change tomorrow that hasn't in the 3 years of being cheated on by him- yes, even though you are the other woman he is still cheating only difference is you know about it. Having your cake and ... (read in full...)

How do I move on and trust him? Or is he not trust worthy?

Q.   I have a big trust issue regarding my boyfriend and his ex. When my boyfriend and I first dated, he broke up with his ex to be with me, but he never told her about me because she has a really bad temper and she was still trying to get back with him. ...

A.   2 September 2017: Hmmm...smells like a bit of RAT to me. Not just his secretive behaviour prior but the fact that it still GNAWS at you some years later. How much mental and emotional space can you afford to waste on this dude? The only person who ever really p... (read in full...)

I am in love with a girl who has a boyfriend.

Q.   To cut to the chase, i love a girl who is already on a relationship. She's a really close friend. I'm never bored when I'm with her. We have almost the same likes and dislikes. Stuff like movies, books, and game preferences are almost identical. ...

A.   27 August 2017: "she looks happier with her boyfriend" "i don't think i want to be the one to destroy that." Then don't.Sounds harsh and shitty but it is what it is. As for seeing her at school, my advice would be to keep it simple for both you and her. A quick... (read in full...)

How do I say "hi" to the cute boy on the bus?

Q.   There is this cute guy on my bus that usually sits behind me. I've recently moved so this is at my new school, so I've been riding this bus for about 3 weeks. Anyways for days i've been thinking on how to start a conversation with him but i chicken ...

A.   27 August 2017: try not over think things. Just keep it simple, by that I mean "Hi" is perfect. Say that and see where it takes you. When you get a hi back, then you can tell him your name- don't panic if conversation takes a while or at all. Remember boys get just ... (read in full...)

I can't get over my ex of 4 years ago. I treated her badly and have regrets

Q.   Hi 4 years ago I was with a woman I fell completely in love with I admit now I didn't treat her how I should of done I called her a couple of nasty names and generally treated her like rubbish now every morning I wake up with her on my mind I see ...

A.   21 August 2017: Im afraid you 'suck it up'. It no doubt crushed her each and every time you treated her badly, as you say, just as you feel crushed by her having moved on to the point of -you no longer exist for her. Thats the thing with regrets- they can sting! ... (read in full...)

He spent 5 years in prison for crippling a child in a drunken car accident

Q.   Would you date someone with a criminal record ? I met this guy at a party of a mutual friend. We spent the whole night talking and exchanged numbers. After spending hours a day texting / talking we went on an amazing first date. At the end of ...

A.   18 August 2017: This man has done his time, personally how long should he be punished for what clearly he is genuinely remorseful? He is trying to do make good of what he had done and I think that shows great strength of character- putting himself out there to be ... (read in full...)

Is it petty that I am annoyed that the man I am dating is cheap?

Q.   I am dating a guy who is about a decade older than me. On our first date we went to a restaurant (one he'd chosen and he asked me out). When the bill came he wanted to split it. He has a very well paying job. I am setting up my own business and earn ...

A.   18 August 2017: While I agree that it is stingy to ask you out and expect you to go Dutch on the first date maybe this could stem from him being taken advantage of himself in previous relationships because he is financial. If thats the case, then its understandable ... (read in full...)

Did he cross the line? I'm not sure.

Q.   I have been seeing this guy for a little over a month now, things are good. He has his kids every weekend so that kinda sucks but all and all he is nice.. I haven't met his kids yet but it's a bit soon for that. Anyway I told him that I haven't had ...

A.   18 August 2017: Its called "stealthing". If it is not an offence it sure as hell should be. Your body your rules-simple! So yes he did cross the line and I would consider it to be sexual assault.... (read in full...)

What does can,t say Goodbye so i,ll say Goodnight mean ?

Q.   My girlfriend and i split up 3 months ago , the last time, and the last thing she said was , can,t say Goodbye so i,ll say Goodnight , Which one is it ? If she was too upset to say Goodbye, and did not want to say Goodbye ,BUT ...

A.   2 August 2017: Saying goodnight is easier, softer and easier to digest than saying goodbye- goodbye is perhaps a bit to confronting and final. Lessons the blow to the mental realisation I suppose. Whatever the reason, she wont be dwelling on it now she has found ... (read in full...)

His friend is trying to get my b/f to break up with me and date someone else. He thinks I'm unreasonable because I ask him not to talk to her

Q.   Going to cut a long story short... Me and my partner broke up because he thought he liked someone else so I ended things. Me leaving made him realise he wanted me and after some time I decided to give him a chance to redeem himself. However...

A.   2 August 2017: Sorry but I had to re read your age when I read this. I assume he is around the same age because this reads like a high school drama. Honey, he needs to grow a set and start acting like your bf and needs to grow a brain. How has he redeemed himself ... (read in full...)

Implant removed, unprotected sex equals pregnancy?

Q.   Hi I removed my implant on 15 June then had unprotected sex 3rd July. I had my first period on 16 July for about a week and now I feel like I'm getting my period again. My breast are so painful and I feel bloated. Is t possible I could be pregnant? ...

A.   2 August 2017: Probably just your hormone levels sorting themselves out. But still, weird and wonderful can happen- I'd get blood test pregnancy test done ... (read in full...)

Do I ask him or a date or wait for him to ask me

Q.   im chatting with a man online. On his profile he said hes in no rush and wants to get to know a person well. we have exchanged details ( phone numbers , social media, not addresses) we have been chatting for 6 week but he hasnt asked me out . He is ...

A.   2 August 2017: I agree, ask him out. If I were going to be knocked back I'd rather it be from behind a computer rather than in person in a face to face scenario. If he says no, you can 'Click' him off your to do list.... (read in full...)

Did I prove a point in this office situation?

Q.   I've heard that women hate it when men don't look at them or pay them any attention, and liking the guy or being in a relationship already is irrelevant. I had an attractive young woman always looking at me in the office a work. I deliberately...

A.   2 August 2017:  While I don't particularly agree with the first comment "that women hate it when men don't pay them attention" I do agree that you did the correct thing from being professionally smart. Flirty shenanigans in the workplace usually end up turning ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's ex wife still comes into the house every week

Q.   My boyfriend of a year is divorced three years and his ex wife comes into his house with their High School children to collect any things they have left there when hes at work. She comes in with them and into the lounge and kitchen etc and has a ...

A.   15 July 2017: Welcome her naked and ofter to then put the kettle on ... (read in full...)

It's not an affair, right?

Q.   I found out my partner has been in contact with her ex saying that she misses him. We've been together two years. I don't think they have met up just exchanging calls and messages. Should I be concerned? It's one thing to say you miss someone but...

A.   14 July 2017: Innocent or not it most certainly is not something most partners would like to hear. 'Finding out' is all so secretive and thats a problem. Does she know you know, if not ask her. No point mucking about, you want to know and have a right to. I think ... (read in full...)

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