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I'm in the relationship because of obligation and chivalry. Should I give her another chance or end it for good?

Q.   I have been with my girlfriend on and off for over 3 years. In the beginning she was a work colleague I was hesitant to get with her as although we flirted, played about together and eventually slept together, I wasn't looking for commitment. ...

A.   19 January 2018: Grow a pair and finish it with her in the kindest way you can muster then stick to your decision no matter how she reacts. It's the kindest thing you can do for her if you care about her Good luck x... (read in full...)

His work routine is disrupting our life

Q.   Hi everyone. I’m looking for some advice on a situation I’m in atm. My partner has just taken a new job and hour and a half away but gives himself two hours to get there to beat traffic. He leaves at 6am and gets home about 8. An hour later than his ...

A.   14 January 2018: He's working hard to provide for you and the kids You should be supporting him He's not out in bars and playing other women so I think you should count your blessings . Yes it's difficult when the child care is left to you but that's your situati... (read in full...)

I just want some to love ... who will love me back!

Q.   Hello aunts What does someone do when they can’t find love? I want to give a background ( been in two relationships) long term( both same type of guys) negligent - over powering - verbally absuive - and non emphatic . Learned my lesson that I ne...

A.   14 January 2018: Hi What you're asking for is not something that comes along even every couple of years sometimes so try not to worry too much and think it's something you're doing wrong. Wonderful guys don't hang around in bars in my experience so maybe try goin... (read in full...)

My girlfriend has poor dental hygiene!

Q.   My girlfriend has poor dental hygiene. Her teeth are yellowish and her breath smells bad.I love her but everytime I wish to express it with a kiss I hold back. How do I bring this up with her?...

A.   18 September 2017: That's happened to me too. I HAD to say something cos it's so off-putting isn't it ? Maybe she's scared of dentists? Have you asked her? Good luck x... (read in full...)

My husband is always looking for an excuse to drink

Q.   hi, my husband is always looking for an excuse to drink when ever he gets back from work. He said drinking makes him relaxed I decided him to pick wine instead of beer. Because he already got beer belly coming out. Do you think this is the right ...

A.   30 July 2017: Hi He will still get a beer belly if he drinks wine. There is usually more alcohol in wine than beer so it will make his belly even bigger over time. You need to know that you didn't cause it, you can't change it or control the situation. ... (read in full...)

I am feeling grief at the loss of this long term relationship. How can I get through this grief?

Q.   Dear Cupid. This is the first time I have written on one of these sites but I felt I need some help. I have been married now for around 31 years and whilst we generally get on the sparkle as gone. Sex life is non existant and we have now both...

A.   21 August 2016: Hi There's something I don't get!? If you were,and still are so crazy about her, why didn't you leave your wife at the time? You said this was ten years ago. You only had sex a few times in all those years so it must have been casual if the ... (read in full...)

Does this checkout operator have a crush on my BF?

Q.   Recently I was standing in the local store with my boyfriend standing behind me,waiting to pay for our purchases separately! However the female assistant blushed when she realised she was going to see me through the checkout. She kept her composu...

A.   21 August 2016: I agree with Rubybrtle He sounds like a flirt when you're not around but so what? If he's cute then women will like him. This is the price of being with a good looking guy with good attitude. You focus on the girl and her thoug... (read in full...)

He earns 8 times what I earn. Is it fair that I contribute 50 . 50 for all dating costs

Q.   I've been dating a guy for about 6 months, he earns very good money (about 8 times what I do), should meals out/ trips away be split 50 / 50 , or should he be expected to pay more as he is the higher earner and had a lot more disposable cash than me ...

A.   9 August 2016: Hi I notice you are in the 41-50 bracket like me As a previous poster put it ....this is archaic thinking to suggest he should pay the lion's share at least. I must therefore hold my hands up and say I'm officially a dinosaur! I suspect y... (read in full...)

Does a guy being skinny put women off?

Q.   I'm a skinny lad and I was wondering is this a turn-off? I mean I know some girls like guys to be teddy bears but is there really any market for us skinny guys? I'm 5'11"/180 cm and 143 pounds/64 kg and feel as though I'm not bulky enough for women ...

A.   11 July 2016: Depends what you mean by skinny If you are skinny with no muscle tone then it's not sexy IMO. If on the other hand the skinny guy has a good toned body with muscle definition, it's the hottest look for me on a guy. Basically a skeleton ... (read in full...)

I feel I'm missing out on a experience that I desperately want to feel.

Q.   I'm a man and I'm confused about my sexuality with no idea how to confront it. For as long as I've had an identity I've never labelled my sexuality as what's between the ears has always been more superior to me opposed to how someone identifies. ...

A.   22 June 2016: Hi Perspective?? This isn't going to change the fact you are attracted to men!! This is one of oldest things in time. Men who are riddled with guilt because they have fantasies about being with men. The thing you need to think about is how ... (read in full...)

Help! What can I say? I'm a gay female being set up at work ! I'm scared and unsure what to do.

Q.   Im a single GAY female over 40 and today at work as I walked in tea room I overheard her talking to another manager about setting me up with a 26 yr old asian guy who used to work with us and who likes me! And how I am " over 40" The other mana...

A.   22 June 2016: Hi I think your main problem here is how seriously you are taking it. Please lighten up, you are going to make this into a big melodrama and it's not necessary. If I were you would just be light hearted and say something like " I'v... (read in full...)

I would love to ask this waitress out. Any suggestions on how to handle this?

Q.   I like a waitress in the town near to where I live. She has served me on several occasions, and said hi and spoken to me. I would love to ask her out, but my bottle always goes!! It was my birthday yesterday, and on the way out she said 'Ha...

A.   21 June 2016: By the way I forgot to say, how do you even know she got your card? You said she wasn't on duty, anything could have happened. Whoever picked up the card may have forgot about it or binned it by mistake. That's happened to me before. Nev... (read in full...)

I would love to ask this waitress out. Any suggestions on how to handle this?

Q.   I like a waitress in the town near to where I live. She has served me on several occasions, and said hi and spoken to me. I would love to ask her out, but my bottle always goes!! It was my birthday yesterday, and on the way out she said 'Ha...

A.   21 June 2016: Hi OP, Of course it's flattering to be asked out whether you go out on a date or not. Everyone I know likes an ego boost even if the person who asks isn't your cup of tea. I've had crushes on customers. One guy for nearly twenty years and I... (read in full...)

I would love to ask this waitress out. Any suggestions on how to handle this?

Q.   I like a waitress in the town near to where I live. She has served me on several occasions, and said hi and spoken to me. I would love to ask her out, but my bottle always goes!! It was my birthday yesterday, and on the way out she said 'Ha...

A.   20 June 2016: Hi again! I think everyone here is over thinking this. I've been a waitress for 25 years and this is no big deal. I wish you had taken my advice the first time. You've made this hard for yourself. You will probably know instinctively what ... (read in full...)

I would love to ask this waitress out. Any suggestions on how to handle this?

Q.   I like a waitress in the town near to where I live. She has served me on several occasions, and said hi and spoken to me. I would love to ask her out, but my bottle always goes!! It was my birthday yesterday, and on the way out she said 'Ha...

A.   14 June 2016: Hi Leave her your number on the little tray you get with the bill with a nice message then leave with a nice smile. Good luck x... (read in full...)

I need the morals, security and companionship of religion without the dogma

Q.   Hi there, I am hoping that someone out there can give me advice on the following, I am a 50 year old male. I have had a pretty dodgy past. From about the age of 20 I started to dabble with drugs, on hindsight I am shocked by how quickly I went fro...

A.   24 May 2016: Hi You don't have to follow some organised religion like Christianity or Islam to achieve a sense of faith or belief in a higher power. Do you want to belong to a group or church and mix with the people you find there if you don't believe in... (read in full...)

Is this synchronicity? Should I contact her or let her be?

Q.   I have a few questions that I need help with. I am 40, I am attracted to woman and my husband knows. I have been waiting on a female, the right one so to speak. I found her, I think but its complicated. I have not talked with her for abou...

A.   10 May 2016: Hi It's definitely synchronicity but so what? It doesn't mean that you are right for each other, it means that the your energy is manifesting her in your life at the moment. I used to have things like you describe happen to me and I don't... (read in full...)

How can other people tell that we are crushing on each other?

Q.   I've a colleague and friend who I've recently started crushing on. I've kept it quite quiet as his ex works in the store. We flirt a lot when no-one else is around, talk a lot on social media and there is serious sexual tension between us. I th...

A.   29 April 2016: Hi It's not what you say that makes gives you away to people at work, it's the energy that you give off that makes it obvious. You must have walked in a room before and sensed the atmosphere whatever it was. It's the most human thing in the wor... (read in full...)

My boyfriend sometimes blurts out something that just sounds wrong! What do I do in this situation?

Q.   Hello, Need some advice. My boyfriend is a really wonderful guy! My only issue is that sometimes he means to say one thing and it will come out wrong, especially with friends/acquaintances or when a little tipsy. For example, we were meeting ...

A.   29 April 2016: He's got foot in mouth disease ha I know someone like that and sometimes he takes my breath away with the tactless things he says. He is however a great man who I love being with. He needs telling to check himself before he wrecks himself... (read in full...)

Why does he want this all of a sudden!

Q.   Hi aunts. Just a quick question. I'm in a very loving sexual relationship with my fella who I'm planning on living with later in the year. Everything is great and when we aren't together we message loads which I love. Our messages are loving ...

A.   27 April 2016: Who's getting fisted in his fantasy, you or him? Omg....noooooo!! ... (read in full...)

Why hide a text? Am I being naive to believe him?

Q.   i have been with my bf for 3 years. we bought a house in 2014 and he had finalized his divorce in 2015. 6 months ago I caught him driving by his ex's house and confronted him and he denied it. then the other day it came up again and he said he ...

A.   27 April 2016: You don't believe him though do you? This is the thing about your situation. All you can do for now is monitor it. If his furtive behaviour gets worse then let us know x... (read in full...)

Is this rosacae or an alcohol problem?

Q.   I met a guy for a first date last night. I noticed after one pint he looked flushed and had broken blood vessels around his nose and a thickening of connective tissue around the nostrils, a bumpy appearance. He then had a second pint and had driv...

A.   27 April 2016: Sounds like he's got both x... (read in full...)

Was I wrong to contact him after all these years?

Q.   I am 40 and decided to make contact with a guy who I recognised from many years ago, he replied and we got into text conversation with each other for a short time. However since I contacted him, the shop where I have seen him a lot, he has now ...

A.   27 April 2016: Hi I assume you were after more than friendship? So he got scared for reasons you can't know maybe, or he has issues that for some reason have stopped him going to the shop, who knows?? It's nothing to do with you as a woman! I gave a guy... (read in full...)

Do I stop making our favorite food because it bothers our 80 year old neighbor?

Q.   Hello We live in an apartment building and are a mid aged couple. I cook for my husband on daily basis, we are both Canadian. We really enjoy curry and maybe twice a month I will cook it. My neighbour who is in her 80s and frail health mention...

A.   27 April 2016: Take her a nice cake or something, talk to her and be light hearted about it. Tell her how much you don't want to upset her and see what she says. ... (read in full...)

Do I stop making our favorite food because it bothers our 80 year old neighbor?

Q.   Hello We live in an apartment building and are a mid aged couple. I cook for my husband on daily basis, we are both Canadian. We really enjoy curry and maybe twice a month I will cook it. My neighbour who is in her 80s and frail health mention...

A.   26 April 2016: Hi I remember when I was living with my ex, our neighbours used to cook this particular thing, I never found out what it was because I never asked. I used to shout to my ex.....oh God they're cooking that thing again!!! Then go crazy with the a... (read in full...)

I'm considering divorce but can I find someone at my age? How do I believe in myself again?

Q.   I'm 43 year old woman considering a divorce. Overall, I've been told that I have a great personality, I'm easy to get along with, intelligent, and fun. I also look and dress younger. I have a career and make decent money. My main problem, however...

A.   26 April 2016: Hi Something Dr Phil says that is true is that when it comes to bad relationships, there's only one thing worse than being married to the wrong one for ten years, and that is being married for ten years and one day. Don't be scared, be excit... (read in full...)

Is this older, married man, hitting on me?

Q.   Can anyone help me understand what's going on with a older (48) MARRIED man from Church? I used to really like him as a friend/ advisor kind of role to me. Lately I have wondered if he likes me more than he should. When we talk only always rubs my ...

A.   17 April 2016: Trust me girl! This guy is trying to get in your knickers No feelings here x... (read in full...)

This new guy is generally nice but very strange at times

Q.   help!! This new guy that i am seeing is generally a nice sweet guy, but he is weird in a way that he denies when i ask him not to do anything or change, basically everything. For example, he has a habit early in a morning create a horrend...

A.   27 March 2016: Hi He makes you feel uncomfortable both physically and emotionally. Maybe you feel he's better than nothing? I think nothing is better than him x... (read in full...)

I'm bereft after this break up, I feel I have no hope, at age 47. Please help!

Q.   Hi everyone. I am feeling desperately sad after breaking up with my partner. My marriage ended 5 years ago, my choice, and I found new strength and freedom on my own. I met my partner after about a year and I was so in love. I had such high hopes ...

A.   6 March 2016: Hi 47... You're a baby!! You feel shit because he's made you feel shit. If you had never met him and your life had been one where your nearest and dearest had made you feel good about yourself you wouldnt feel like this today. Praise Go... (read in full...)

Rules for texting a new love interest?

Q.   Hello, I met a man through friends who is very kind and respectful. We have hung out many times in our friend group and have good conversations. He asked for my number and we have been texting. I know many times, people just want a "texti...

A.   2 March 2016: Hi What do mean by text buddy? If you are texting every day? More than once a day? If you want him as a boyfriend and he's not asked you on a date yet, I would advise cooling off a bit and see what he does Good luck x... (read in full...)

How do I make this threesome idea happen?

Q.   I want have a threesome with my wife and friend. the game plan is they should not know each other so I want to blind fold them and to convince them for this and then the game goes on.... suggest me how to make this wonderful...!?...

A.   2 March 2016: Hi You don't mention whether it's a threesome with another man or another woman. If it's another man I'd advise prepare for the possibility that they run off together. If it's another woman prepare to be divorced. Either way, it's not th... (read in full...)

What do you think of men who swear in front of ladies?

Q.   What do you think about people (especially men) who swear in the presence of ladies? (swearing not targeted at the ladies, but rather at things or situations). Having been brought up with high regard for politeness and good manners, if a ma...

A.   24 February 2016: They don't know any better . The only way you will know their character is you ask them to stop because you don't like it x... (read in full...)

His comment was so vague! How do I read into it?

Q.   I am in my 40s and had noticed this guy that I thought I had recognised from years ago but didn't feel I could go up and ask him. I left my number with the local coffee shop for him and he text me that same day and turned out that he used to live ...

A.   24 February 2016: Sounds to me from what you said that he moved up for a job and a woman he met and he's still with her. I can only go on what you typed, and that's what I think it means x... (read in full...)

Are his fantasies a sign he doesn't love me?

Q.   I caught my boyfriend masturbating in the shower. I asked him if he thought about me then and he honestly answered no. It hurt me quite a bit because first of all I was home and I feel like he'd rather go fantasies about other girls than be with me. ...

A.   22 February 2016: Hi Please don't torture yourself about this If he had a bit more wisdom with regards to women's feelings he would have said yes of course I was thinking about you. It was stupid of him because anyone would tell him that was a bad move and ... (read in full...)

Did I ruin my chances with him?

Q.   I kind of had one too many drinks on a first date and ended up texting my date after I got home some stupidity that I feel ruined my chances with him. He never called again. I usually NEVER drink on a date, but it ended up happening on the...

A.   20 February 2016: Hi Hun I think things do happen for a reason! Please forgive yourself and move on. I could tell you loads of tales from my life where I've regretted stuff after a drink. It's easy to have that one too many when you are nervous. You hav... (read in full...)

I had a dream that my much older boyfriend is gay. Should I be concerned?

Q.   Hello, I had a dream a couple of nights ago that my boyfriend of a year had a homosexual affair. what happened was, in my dream I visited a lad who was in my year at school whom now works at my place of work. my boyfriend arrived at the house and...

A.   16 February 2016: Hi The only person that can decide whether your dream was your subconscious mind telling you something or not is you. All sorts of crap comes out in my dreams but every so often I will dream something and I know it has meaning. Why is it b... (read in full...)

How do I know the girl I met on European dating site is for real?

Q.   Hi, I am an American man in my early 40s. I joined a European dating site 4 or 5 months ago out of curiosity. I've never been married, never related so well to Americans. Always liked Europeans more. I am employed but shy, never so good with wom...

A.   13 February 2016: Hi Why don't you go and visit her? You'll know then won't you What's stopping you? Good luck x... (read in full...)

After dating six months we don't seem to be moving forward

Q.   Hi, i feel just despair at the moment. My partner (we do not live together) is 13 years younger than me. We see each other most days and speak on the phone 3 to 4 times a day. we should have gone on holiday but he became very ill and the doctor s...

A.   8 February 2016: Hi hun If he won't add you on Facebook then something's wrong there! I'm so sorry to have to tell you He's not committed to you the way you are to him. He probably likes you a whole lot but the scales aren't balanced. Don't invest too much of y... (read in full...)

Am I just a "hopeful idiot?"

Q.   I am a 54 Year Old Man in good shape and I believe I am considered attractive. I had the good fortune to meet an amazing woman 2 and a half years ago through work. She is a waitress and she is 32 years old. I have made a point to keep in contact ...

A.   27 January 2016: Hi If your heart is really aching for this gorgeous creature I think you should go back the restaurant and ask her out. If you need encouragement, watch Colin Firth in the movie Love Actually first for inspiration. ... (read in full...)

I'm very self conscious about the cold sores on my mouth and worried about what others think

Q.   I've been feeling really insecure and self-conscious recently because I have these two horrible cold sores on both corners of my mouth that look disgusting and really hurt! I know this may seem like such a small thing to be moaning about when there ...

A.   26 January 2016: Hi Why do you think they aren't cold sores? I used to get them constantly and I know exactly how you feel I see you are in the UK There's a product you buy from Holland and Barrett called L -Lycine. It's available in different strengths. I use th... (read in full...)

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