New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login240437 questions, 1064503 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

*illy Bathgate

United States  (Male   XML/RSS

Like what he writes?
... Add *illy Bathgate to your favourite agony aunts

Want to get in touch?
... Send *illy Bathgate a private message

*illy Bathgate's Ratings

Rating: 7.58

1234567891011Next > [13 pages, 481 answers]

My boyfriend's mother hates me and my boyfriend takes her side

Q.   Recently I've been feeling distant from my boyfriend, he s not the person I love with. He critisces everything I do and makes me feel worthless, I've tried talking to him about how He s making me feel but he says he doesn't put me down that ...

A.   16 September 2018: Dump The Mother F**ker Already. There is no reason to stay with this guy. ... (read in full...)

How do I get over this anger toward my ex?

Q.   It's been over 3 months since me and my ex broke up. Tonight a mutual friend said he has been really low for a few weeks and that could I talk to him. I had blocked him on everything and although I felt okay, I wasn't sure it was a good idea.......

A.   16 September 2018: You are under no obligation to help your ex not feel low. You don’t have to talk to him you don’t have to be friends with him and you don’t have to engage him on social media. If you want to block him block him and don’t allow friends to guilt you ... (read in full...)

Would it be ok to ask my mum to buy me a vibrator?

Q.   I'm 17 and have the money to buy a vibrator, but I have no way of actually getting one by myself. I don't have any friends old enough to take me some where that will sell them to people under 18, and I don't have a credit/debit card so I can't buy ...

A.   16 September 2018: dear. And sex devices are not just for adults.... (read in full...)

My new boyfriend has become obsessed about my past

Q.   Hi there I ended my marriage a year ago due to domestic violence. I was married for 10 years and have 2 children out of this marriage. I'm in a long term relationship with this wonderful man - very caring, sympathetic, logical and strong minded p...

A.   14 September 2018: He is none of the things you listed. Strong caring sympathetic and logical men do not act this way. He is in fact a weak petty jealous bully. His behavior is abusive. You need to take the blinders off and see this man for what he is and where your... (read in full...)

I want my mother to move in with us so I can take care of her

Q.   Hi everyone. My fiance and I are in the process of moving back to my home state and purchasing a house there. It is a relatively large house and we have more than enough space to start a family. My mom is not in the best of health. She recen...

A.   12 September 2018: If you want to kill your family before it starts insist on your mother living with you. You want to buy the affection of a woman who was abusive to you as a child. You say she’s kind of mellowed out. That is because you’re an adult. Why in the name ... (read in full...)

My brother finally introduced us to his fiance - she's my ex!

Q.   My brother has recently introduced the family to his new fiancée - but there's a massive issue. Basically he lives away and none of us have met her before - we only knew her name. We were all excited to meet her - but when he introduced her to ...

A.   12 September 2018: Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive. It’s time for you to be an adult. Tell your family about your child, their grandchild and niece. ... (read in full...)

Why would my cheating wife try to contact me after 6 months of NC?

Q.   Well it's been almost 7 months since my cheating wife left me for her boss. Although she never admitted to an affair I have mountains of evidence proving otherwise. Long story short... I thought I had her blocked on everything. I have been ...

A.   1 September 2018: Why do you care if she’s trying to reconnect? You have made the decision to block her and move on with your life. You have done the first part now continue with the second. Whatever reason(s) she had for trying to contact you are irrelevant. Don’... (read in full...)

My paranoia has driven us apart

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. Sadly I have a problem which I've had for a few years, Where I suffer with paranoia. This has affected our relationship greatly, and has pushed us apart. We've now been on break (his idea) for now 3 ...

A.   27 August 2018: Sound to me like you knew there was a problem but waited to fix the problem after the boyfriend had had enough. Now you think if you check off some boxes he will come back. Understand that a break is a breakup. He is gone, the relationship is over... (read in full...)

My will be joining another couple for a threesome

Q.   So let me start by saying my wife and I have been married for 8 years an are blessed/ deeply in love. So last night we had a couple over for cocktails, I was at work when they arrived and when I got there my wife was already buzzed and was acting v...

A.   27 August 2018: You have two choices tell her in no uncertain terms that if she goes thru with this you’re gone or resign yourself to being a cuckold. Understand if you make the ultimatum you have to be willing to follow thru. Keep in mind that she may agree not to ... (read in full...)

What is my ex playing at?

Q.   A couple of years ago I was seeing a guy whilst at University but he really messed me around and we constantly had an up and down on and off relationship. I then blocked him when I finished Uni which was over a year ago and didn't think of him much ...

A.   27 August 2018: He’s playing games because he’s playing games. It must have given him quite a charge seeing how quickly you jumped to get in touch with him. If he could see this he would probably be giddy with joy. Block him and move on. If he pulls this again ... (read in full...)

My husband's driving triggers my panic attacks

Q.   I suffer from anxiety, and i have been married for 7 years now. I constantly have an argument with my husband whenever he is driving. I have severe fear from driving (specially highways), and i always argue with my husband if he just slightly gets ...

A.   24 August 2018: Yes see a therapist. Ask you doctor for a referral to someone who treats anxiety disorders then make an appointment ... (read in full...)

They look so happy on their photos and get so many likes on them and I can't help feeling like I despise them both

Q.   My ex and I broke up at the start of February after 5 years together. We shared a house, was talking about getting engaged and starting a family etc but I left. I realised I wanted to fulfill my dream of getting a degree which he didn't approve of. ...

A.   23 August 2018: Stop looking at his photos. He’s pushing your buttons and he knows it. Block him and move on. That is what you said you wanted. And just so you know I think you are well rid of him. ... (read in full...)

Our male co-worker is too friendly with my girlfriend

Q.   Hey so i work with my gf and we have this male coworker who is engaged. but he is always giving my gf a little gift like once a month. it could be some bread he baked or the last thing was a pack of paper clips with a note saying he hopes this ...

A.   23 August 2018: Your girlfriend likes the attention and the gifts. It strokes her ego to have a boyfriend and another guy mooning after her. Her continuing to take these gifts is disrespectful to you and to your relationship. When she tells you it’s nothing she is ... (read in full...)

My not going to my sister’s hen do may we’ll end our already strained relationship!

Q.   I need some advice about my sister's hen party. I live 4 hours drive from my sister and she has invited me for her hen weekend. I agreed to go several months back. The weekend involves overnight away, spa, drinks, meal out so is going to cost £2...

A.   17 August 2018: It is clear that you do not want to go so don’t go. Your sister may have asked you to be her matron of honor in an attempt to bring the two of you closer together. Something I’m not sure you really want. Cancel on the hen do and let the chips fall ... (read in full...)

How can I stop being mad at my parents ?

Q.   This is a family question not so much a love question. My cousin who I consider to be a sister has fallen ill and is here in this country by herself - her parents abandoned her - I have been named the guardian under hospital records and I have ...

A.   11 August 2018: You say you are staying in one of your parent’s properties. Are you paying rent? If you are then you are a tenant and they have no right to break in on you unannounced. Change the locks. If you’re staying rent free then you are a guest in one of ... (read in full...)

How to get rid of these feelings and truly move on?

Q.   Dear Aunts and uncles, Please don't judge me for this post. I genuinely need some good advice. My stomach feels empty and my throat feels tight. I feel so wretched. It started three years' ago. This guy at work started flirting with me. I am i...

A.   9 August 2018: Do the poor guy you’re getting married too and yourself a favor and call off the wedding. It’s clear you’re not in love with him and are marrying more out of obligation. After that then you can work on grieving the loss of your affair partner.... (read in full...)

How do I handle my girlfriend's ex without punching him in the face?

Q.   Hey people, I never usually ask questions like this online but I don't really know how to talk to anyone else about this. So sorry if this is all over the place. Anyway, I have been in a relationship with an amazing girl for the last 8 months an...

A.   8 August 2018: The ex doesn’t want her but doesn’t want her to be with anyone else. It sounds like the friend group is closer to him than her. It is time to start hanging out with different people. If she can’t or won’t do that then it is time for you to move ... (read in full...)

She’s a good wife and a good mother, but did she break me too much? Will I ever forget what she put me through?

Q.   My current wife and I dated from 2011 till now. I never had any reason to think she was ever unfaithful, but she talked a lot about ex boyfriends, and she had cheated on a number of them. We got engaged in 2014. And were supposed to get married i...

A.   8 August 2018: I feel so sorry for you. Yes you are broken and you need professional help to fix yourself. Your problems are deeper than anyone can fix here. You really need a good therapist. One that can help you get over the pain you are feeling as well as the ... (read in full...)

Girlfriend & I had our first real argument. She doesn't want to let it go. How do I approach this?

Q.   Hi Guys, I’ll keep this as short as possible. Basically had a bit of a disagreement with my GF of almost a year yesterday. We went to a supermarket to grab some things and she asked if we should swing by a McDonald’s on the way back. I sa...

A.   2 August 2018: She is holding a grudge about something this petty that happened a year ago. I have to assume you have children together and a mortgage and maybe co own a business because those are the only reasons I can imagine still being with someone that ... (read in full...)

I feel the need to have a child but I want it to be my lover's not my husband's

Q.   DO NOT JUDGE I am female, 34 years..i am married to a man-boy kinda of husband (45 years) who has no clue how to raise children..we have mine and the first one is his...his past time is drinking....but he come through with finances......

A.   28 July 2018: Yes you want to bring another child into this soap opera. Deep down you know your thinking is screwed up otherwise you wouldn’t be writing here. Either work on fixing your marriage or end it. ... (read in full...)

I would like my 2 sons to rebuild their relationship. Can I do anything to help?

Q.   I have two sons. The oldest one, John, is 35 years old and the youngest one, Joe, is 33 years old. About five years ago, they got into a major argument. John did not like Joe's girlfriend and tried to talk to Joe about it. John crossed the line...

A.   25 July 2018: This is not your issue. If you do not want to alienate your younger son and his wife stay out of it. The older son has apologized that is all he can do now it is up to the younger one. But I would not hold out much hope if I were you. From my pers... (read in full...)

I told my married female friend that I'd never date a woman with children (she has them) and now she's blown me off

Q.   I have a female friend who's married with children. I've known her for 5 years and we work at the same company. I speak to her maybe 2-3 times a week and we usually go for coffee at least once a week. I am very fond of her, I would say I love...

A.   25 July 2018: She was clearly looking to replace her husband with you. When you told her that wasn’t going to happen she moved on. Count yourself lucky that you told her before you found yourself in an affair with a married woman. A married woman who has ... (read in full...)

The rude barista misbehaved with me and my husband took her side!!

Q.   Hi, I need help to understand a meaning of a conflict with my husband, who is completely in denial, and not compassionate with me,.. This is of-course not the only issue , we have but this one put me over the edge.. So few days ago I ordered...

A.   25 July 2018: Your husband was wrong to take this girl’s side over yours you have the right to be hurt and angry. But the only way to get to the bottom of his actions is to ask him why he did such a hurtful thing. Perhaps he will apologize. I’m curious is this... (read in full...)

How do I keep my ex out of my house?

Q.   My 11yrs old son became very upset today because he thought my ex-husband and I were arguing. This is what happend: my ex brought my son to the doctors to get his annual check up today at 1:00pm. He planned to drop my son off at my house at around 3...

A.   25 July 2018: Your ex is not an honorable man so stop expecting him to act like one. Change the locks on your doors and do not give him the key. This is going to be a pain but you’re going to have to arrange your schedule so that there is no more dropping the ... (read in full...)

I'm married he's married why can't I just walk away?

Q.   I am married and have been with a married man for 4 and a half years. He has continually asked me to marry him, sent me houses online and tells me that we are ‘one’ and meant to be . I have asked him to leave and be with me and he says he is not ...

A.   11 July 2018: ...or am I just another fool? You already know the answer to that one. He has you on a string. He dangles pictures of houses in front of you and makes promises of your being together, promises he will never keep. Unless his wife catches him and ... (read in full...)

What would you do in my situation? Travel first or settle down now, travel in retirement?

Q.   I have been in a relationship with a man for a year. I'm pretty happy with this guy. We've had ups and downs, but overall things are good between us. We love each other. We have a holiday booked together and are planning to move in together. Howeve...

A.   11 July 2018: No one is guaranteed tomorrow. Do the things you want to and can do now. ... (read in full...)

I overheard my wife saying that her ex was the best sex she'd ever had and now my ego is shattered!

Q.   So my ego has been devastated and I really don’t know how to handle this. Turns out I’m not the best sex my wife has ever had. Any advice is appreciated. About a week ago my wife had one of her friends at our house for some drinks. After ha...

A.   11 July 2018: Your wife loves you enjoys sex with you and cherishes what you have together. If that isn’t enough for your fragile ego their really isn’t anything anyone on this board can say that is going to help you. You need to appreciate what you have and ... (read in full...)

I planned a trip with friends and now they are going on a day I can't go

Q.   I planned a trip to a theme park and invited a couple of friends. I was excited about this. Then one if those friend's invited another couple of friends. One of those friends can't go on the day I am going, so they are now going on another day that ...

A.   29 June 2018: What your friends have done is crappy but don’t let them get you down. Go with your boyfriend and enjoy yourself.... (read in full...)

How do I ask for a sex toy?

Q.   I want a sex toy because, I'm a 17 year old girl now. I know after I ask I'm going to say, think of it this way, I'm still a virgin. Most people my age aren't anymore. But the problem is, I have to ask my dad. Not a mom. How do I do this? I'm ...

A.   24 June 2018: Why in the name of heaven do you need to ask your dad for a sex toy? If you have a job use your own money. If don’t have a job get one or start babysitting to earn money. When you have the money . Go to the grocery store buy yourself an Amazon gift ... (read in full...)

I’m starting to worry about her relationship with a lesbian friend!

Q.   My girlfriend is friends with a lesbian. I'm starting to get worried. Am I overreacting? They've become really close. They've been spending a lot of time together. Sometimes, she goes for a girls night out with her friends including her le...

A.   24 June 2018: Sit your GF down and in a non accusatory way tell her how you feel. If she is willing to have an open honest discussion about your concerns good. If she becomes defensive and accuses you of not trusting her, not so good. But it is better to have ... (read in full...)

Should I tell my wife things are broken even though love is still there?

Q.   Hi everyone. I've come to you all for advice before and recieved a mixture of abuse, passive aggression and sexism. I ask you please to respond as if yuo are the shriks you claim to be! Me and my wife have been together 14 years. We have no kids ...

A.   7 June 2018: First You might want to stop dating. Or you might want to accept that sometimes relationships run their course and this may be the case with your marriage. You have explained to your wife how you feel and she has blown you off. It sounds like she... (read in full...)

Why hold a grudge for 3 years, after a crush wasn’t reciprocated?

Q.   If someone who had a crush on another person, felt rejected by that person, why would they hold a grudge after 3 years? They did not ask the person out. But dropped "I love you" lines here and there. But this was not taken seriously. So this other ...

A.   7 June 2018: Because said person is an immature jerk who is still in love with the other person. ... (read in full...)

My family are always having digs, and my husband wants me to cut contact with them.

Q.   Why does my family always try to drag me down! I go to visit my Mum and my older brother and sister with my Daughter. My family are always having digs at me and putting me down. I have tried to let it go over my head, but yesterday I told them how ...

A.   2 June 2018: These people put you and your daughter down but you still want a relationship with them. Your job a a parent is to protect your child. I assume they have worn down your self worth over the years which is he you continue to let them walk on you. O... (read in full...)

My husband found some screenshots from my sim game!

Q.   My husband is jealous of a dating Sim (similar to otome) visual novel romance game. Recently he came across some pictures I'd saved of one of the sex scenes between the sprites (it's all dialogue) to show to my friend. He got mad that 1) I had ...

A.   19 May 2018: It’s normal and healthy and it’s damaging your marriage. Decide what is more important to you, your online sex life or your real married life then jettison the one you can’t live without. My guess is your husband will be out.... (read in full...)

Why does my ex treat me this way?

Q.   My ex treated me very badly and we split in new year. Anyway I got Radom texts from him saying he loved me and missed me and then last night I kept getting "accidental" texts from him which was clearly for someone eles so I texted and said you text ...

A.   10 May 2018: He’s acting this way because you broke it off with him and he is a selfish immature jerk. You are doing the right thing by getting a new phone number ... (read in full...)

He’s been giving me gifts and I don’t know how to deal with this!

Q.   I have a guy who I started chatting on Instagram ( just innocent ) anyway we chatted back and forth for weeks and he asked to meet for a coffee somewhere so I did, he is a nice guy but not my type, we get on as friends, anyway after out coffee he ...

A.   10 May 2018: Stop taking his gifts. If you have his address mail all of the gifts back to him. If you don’t meet him one last time. Place all the gifts on the table and leave. Don’t engage him in debate over it. Then stop seeing him.... (read in full...)

He had panic attacks, couldn’t eat and lost weight when I tried to end our relationship! What do I do?

Q.   I have been seeing this man for 2 years, met him online and it is a long distance relationship as we don’t see each other regularly, only twice a month which was ok with me....Anyway he started talking about having a future together... to move away ...

A.   10 May 2018: There are so many red flags here I don’t know where to start. But here goes: YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS MAN’S HAPPINESS. He is manipulating you! For your wellbeing you need to break it off with this man and break it off now. We will start with ... (read in full...)

Why does my ex married lover want to fix things?

Q.   I really don't know what to anymore about my situation. I left my married lover because it was the right thing to do and it was hurting me. We are both military (one outranks the other) so it complicates things in terms of actually having a ...

A.   1 May 2018: The purpose of all this is he wants back in your pants. If you remember that you want fall back in with this creep and you know that’s what he is.... (read in full...)

Married man damaging my reputation.

Q.   Previous Post: About a month ago I ended an affair with a married man that I was having. We texted and called daily and we slept together on the weekend but I told it ...

A.   27 April 2018: Talking to him will give him what he wants. I don’t know what you can do about Facebook. I’m sure there is some way you can prevent him tagging you in the future. Remember no one cares about other people’s lives at least not for long. So keep your... (read in full...)

I don't know if I can indulge his BDSM fantasies

Q.   So I am engaged and both my fiance an I want to experience our fantasies, but I am not sure if I can commit to doing his. Mine is a foursome with him and two other girls, I am Bisexual so I am okay with mine, but his is BDSM an I don't know if ...

A.   27 April 2018: The sex advice columnist Dan Savage has a phrase GGG, Good, Giving and Game. Which means except for certain things we should all be willing to try something to please our partners. If the BDSM thing is important to your boyfriend you should give... (read in full...)

*illy Bathgate's friends

These are mutual friends, so *illy Bathgate has added them and they have added *illy Bathgate!

Abella agony auntAbella
Bearinhk1981 agony auntBearinhk1981
tatersgal agony aunttatersgal

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft