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How can I be more confident in social situations?

Q.   I have often the confidence to be quite witty and use my sense of humour to speak and talk when needed to although I am a shy and quite person . I have realised that I tend to be confident and talkative in situations were most people are probably ...

A.   3 October 2018: There’s a good chance I will overload you with information here. I can relate a lot to what you're saying, and I can tell you for certain that there are plenty of other people who feel the same way! There are (very) many people who get nervous and ... (read in full...)

Cheated on my boyfriend 2 weeks before getting pregnant help!!!

Q.   I am 24 years old and found out I was pregnant about 3 weeks ago. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and thought things were fizzled out, I looked for company else where. I have never cheated on him before and can’t believe I did it this ...

A.   24 September 2018: You have to tell your boyfriend you cheated on him. It'd be fairer on everyone for you to tell the truth now before the pregnancy progresses even further. It's not a 'harmless one time'. Yeah, maybe it didn't mean anything and you didn't actu... (read in full...)

Should I give up on a shy guy? Is he just not that into me?

Q.   I've been friends/acquaintances with a guy for 6 months now. I don't know him all that well but when we talk we would really get on and have a lot in common. He wow make excuses to come chat to me all the time. He's 10 years older than me an...

A.   22 September 2018: Maybe you've made it too obvious that you like him. Shy people can be frightened off when they discover someone fancies them, even if it's a person they like. (And I agree that he fancies you.) It's probably scarier for him if you're very attractive ... (read in full...)

Good date but no sparks. Should I ask for a second?

Q.   Hi all, I went on a first date with a girl last night. We met on a dating website. I am unsure what to do next. She was a nice girl and I think the date went well. It was comfortable and conversation flowed. She said at the end that it felt lik...

A.   21 September 2018: I think a second date would make sense. You've only met her once. I imagine a second date would clarify how you feel about her. It's not wasting time. It's just working out if this girl is worth pursuing. If you're used to sparks on a first date... (read in full...)

I often worry when people don't respond quickly enough

Q.   I often get worried when I don't receive a reply from someone and I know this may seem silly as not everyone is able to reply or they might be busy. there's one friend in particular that I try to not text or contact because I get worried if she does...

A.   29 August 2018: I think your worry is totally justified - unfortunately, it's just a side effect of the kind of society we live in now where we're used to everything being instant. Anything that takes time causes a lot of people anxiety because we're just not used ... (read in full...)

We broke up in November but still coming to terms with it

Q.   Hello everyone! So my boyfriend of 6 years ended our relationship back in november, just as we were about to move in together. We left it a few weeks then started meeting up again. But the past week he just ignored me, so I finished it. I don't d...

A.   28 February 2016: Don't be so hard on yourself. It's only been four months, and you were with him for six years! It'll take time. At the moment, you are basically grieving. This is a natural and healthy part of breaking up with someone, so it's perfectly normal to f... (read in full...)

Was I rude earlier? I need help learning how to communicate with her.

Q.   There's a girl at my job who I'm very attracted to but things aren't really able to move forward the way I'd like. I'm not able to talk to her because I'm simply too nervous, and I'm sure I probably come off as rude now because when she's spok...

A.   27 February 2016: Try not to worry too much. Yes, it does sound like you're over thinking it but a lot of people get nervous when it comes to making conversation - they just hide it well. I think there are a few things you can do to communicate better with her. F... (read in full...)

We kissed on our last date. Should I stay with her, even though I am not attracted to her?

Q.   Dating a girl I'm not completely attracted to? I met this girl on a dating app and we've been on two dates so far. I like her personality so far and think shes kind of pretty but I'm not as attracted to her like I was with other girls I've da...

A.   27 February 2016: Totally agree with your decision. I think it's the fairest thing to do, for the both of you. Fair play to you.... (read in full...)

Should I confess to cheating? I don't want to lose him, for he's my rock and I love him dearly

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend over 2 years and we are completely in love. He means everything to me and he's the kindest, most caring and loyal man I have ever been with. We argue like most couples and one argument we had while I was visiting my ...

A.   1 November 2015: Personally, I think that if your relationship with your boyfriend has any chance of surviving then you have to tell him the truth. He may not be able to forgive you, but is the alternative really much better? You will feel guilty for as long as y... (read in full...)

Is he interested in me? Stares at me for a long time?

Q.   So here is a guy at my uni, he's new to the class. Lately he has been acting weird. He would talk to me and tries to open a conversation, at the break when I'm hanging out with my friends, he would come around and he makes a small talk and also ...

A.   8 October 2015: From what you've said, I would think that he likes you. Trying to get your attention, making conversation and trying to make you laugh (in particular) are pretty classic signs of a guy liking a girl. The 10 second stare thing could be that he's... (read in full...)

A little crush has led to me actually liking him and I don't know how to make a move. Help?

Q.   Ok so last week one of my housemates who I have a small crush on got quite drunk and started to call me to help him from his room. When I got there he was sat on his chair opposite his sink and basically preparing to vomit. He then motioned fo...

A.   5 October 2015: You must really like vomit cuddle guy! I don't think you need to worry too much about asking him out - he should jump at the chance! And I think it does make sense for you to ask him out to find our how much you genuinely like this guy - it's easy... (read in full...)

How can I change my ways so that I can get dates?

Q.   I'm 21 and I've had next to no experience with guys (no kiss, no boyfriend, no dating). I have high standards but not too high; unfortunately the guys I've met except a couple, I really had no interest in. They either had a bad personality, or I ...

A.   22 March 2014: I doubt there's anything 'wrong' with you, and there's certainly nothing wrong with being picky about guys. I absolutely agree with your friend. If you wanted a boyfriend, I'm sure you'd be surprised at how easy it is to get one. But whether you're ... (read in full...)

I'm confused about my education and life choices!

Q.   so i moved to Leeds about a year ago to live with my dad and his gf, a year later i hate living ere the only reason that im staying here is cause im in my final year of college and i have met new friends and met my girlfriend as well. I want to live ...

A.   17 October 2013: Firstly, I think a trial move to your mum's is a very good idea to see how things work out with travelling, especially if you'd be happier living there. That sounds very sensible to me. As for your options next year, you basically need to deci... (read in full...)

Do you think that me having a low self esteem is giving off a bad vibe to guys?

Q.   Dear Cupid I have never had a boyfriend, never had a guy ask me out, and have been rejected by every guy that I end up liking. All of my friends have had boyfriends except me, and I feel left out. To top it all off, the guy I currently like doesn't ...

A.   11 September 2013: First off, chill out. Although this is clearly bothering you, it's not something you should be worrying about. You should be having fun with friends. Boys can come later. To answer your question, I find that self esteem does influence the way boys... (read in full...)

Does a strong crush ever fade away completely?

Q.   I want some insights on this. Does a strong crush ever fade away completely? Is it possible for it to return even after one's OVER it? I had a crush on a guy at college, who never really took notice of me anyway. His indifferent behaviour towards ...

A.   4 July 2012: I think with this kind of thing, it's very much 'out of sight, out of mind'. I've thought I was over someone I liked at school, until I bumped into them a few years later and found that I still had some feelings for them. So you're not alone when it ... (read in full...)

Should I add him on Facebook, any advice?

Q.   Okay, I'm just going to go straight ahead and explain the whole story. I have had strong feelings for this guy since I was 12 years old; I haven't looked at another guy since, and I'm now 17. He's 3 years older than me, and is single. I've known him ...

A.   28 June 2012: I don't think it would be weird. You have an offline connection and you'd like an opportunity to talk to him about his charity work - I think this justifies you adding him on Facebook. Lots of individuals add people that they know but have never ... (read in full...)

Basically I just don't know whether to ask her out now?

Q.   Throughout my life i've never really met a girl i thought i would like to be with. I've had friends and indeed friends who are girls but just never met anyone i could ever see as my girlfriend. I'm at the end of my first year at college and since ar...

A.   28 June 2012: This is your chance - go for it! What have you really got to lose? Not asking her and her saying no both mount to the same result anyway. It's the things that you don't do that you regret, and you'll be tormented by 'what ifs' throughout the summer ... (read in full...)

Why have I never been kissed? Or asked out? Or been more than just friends with guys?

Q.   hi, so here's the thing: I am 16 and I have never been in a relationship. I have never been kissed or anything like that. Basically never had anything to do with boys beyond being just friends. Why? I have friends who are constantly talking about SO...

A.   22 June 2012: You seem to be thinking that this means that there's something wrong with you. I can pretty much guarantee that this isn't the case. There's too much pressure these days on young people and it seems that teenagers are expected to have had their firs... (read in full...)

He acts like he likes me in person, but just a friend via texts!

Q.   So there's this guy in my class. Since my school is so small, everyone is sort of aware of and at least to some degree friends with everyone else. Recently, though, this guy who I hadn't really been close to suddenly showed up on my radar. I ...

A.   21 January 2012: I would definitely say that he's into you in a 'more than a friend' way. I can understand why you feel confused by his texts, but try not to read too much into them. The thing is that texts are very limited. You literally only get a few words off ... (read in full...)

Is he a player. Should I stop texting him?

Q.   Hi Agony Aunts! I went clubbing for the first time on Thursday night. I met a guy 4 years older than me. He kept trying to snog me :-/ I swapped numbers with him. Thing is he has tried phoning me 3 times. He has text me asking if we could meet ...

A.   14 January 2012: He sounds very forward! He must either really like you or just wants a hook up. If you like him, then you could arrange to meet up with him but I'd advise you to stick to neutral territory. Don't meet in a club either. That'd give you a better ... (read in full...)

I have no friends! How do I get out of this mess?

Q.   i feel like i have no friends at all they have all gone there seperate ways and just don't bother texting or even replying i don't get invited to any parties or anywhere anymore i feel really left out and feel like im just billy no mates. ive ...

A.   30 December 2011: You need to get out and start socializing. I think a lot of people your age go through quite similar feelings as it's a bit of a transition stage. Obviously, having friends is a give and take. You need to make an effort but you can't force people to ... (read in full...)

My childhood crush just added me on FB! Should I strike up a chat?

Q.   It was like, "OMG, is this true?..'' or "maybe I'm dreaming or somethng".. etc.. I opened my FB account and saw a single friend request.. I used to think who it might be, and guessed that maybe it was just someone from my old school whom I do...

A.   30 September 2011: I don't want to burst your bubble, but this is facebook. People tend to add people that they know just for the sake of it. A lot of people have sent me friend requests just because they know who I am, but often aren't even friends with me; it's not ... (read in full...)

Why didn't he fight for me??

Q.   Pleassee help meee I've dated this guy for about a month, i broke up with him because i had a gut feeling he wasnt over his ex so i ended it, the other day i was at a local club he was there with a couple of his friends, and she was there as well,...

A.   22 September 2011: He's a probably a bit annoyed with you for not giving him the true reason behind why you ended things. I can imagine he might feel a bit cheated by you for not telling him until you were tipsy. Hearing you singing could have enhanced this feeling as ... (read in full...)

Should I tell him exactly what I think? Or just completely ignore him! Hes hurt me so much! Please help!

Q.   Im after some good honest opinions as im going out of my mind with frustration. I was seeing this guy for 9 months but he treats me like crap. No matter what he does though i still wanna be with him. Im in love with him. He always blows hot and cold ...

A.   21 September 2011: I think you should cut all contact with him. Get closure by deleting his number and having done with him. The sooner you get him out of your life, the better. If you text him or try to contact him in some way, it'll just play on your mind. And what ... (read in full...)

If I tell her I like her, would that make her like me back?

Q.   Hi, I'm needing some help, there is a girl I like but I can't seem to be able to tell her as she doesn't like me back, but if I tell her could that make her start to like me? And obviously should I tell her?...

A.   19 September 2011: Not necessarily. If you're sure she doesn't like you, then I think it's probably best that you don't say anything just because there wouldn't be much point and it could create awkwardness. However, if you think there's a chance, you should tell her. ... (read in full...)

Why am I so infatuated with him. We haven't even spoke yet

Q.   Long story short: Just started college, I've noticed a guy who is in 2 of my classes, didn't really notice at first (apart from the fact I was physically attracted to him) but now I cant stop thinking about him. Strange. So on the first day we met...

A.   15 September 2011: This sounds like a subconscious thing. You're consciously aware that you're physically attracted to him, but he's clearly created more of an impression than you realize. You note that you're a virgin, and from experience, I think that maybe lack of ... (read in full...)

My parents won't let me study at home and I don't want to go back to school!

Q.   Hello dearcupid. I am a 16 year old english girl and i moved to spain when i was 11. I did the last year of primary school here and i have done 4 years at secondary school. When i first moved here i made english friends and sort of stuck with them ...

A.   8 September 2011: Your parents are right. Going to school is important as a whole, but this year is the most important of them all. The social and academic aspects are both important, and school is a really fundamental part of growing as a person. You learn things at ... (read in full...)

I'm going off to college, he wants a break, I'm scared, what do I do?

Q.   My boyfriend has asked me to take a break from our relationship. We have been together for 5 months now. I am going off to college and he is so overstressed about school, football, me leaving, and his good friend going over seas. I love this boy ...

A.   8 September 2011: I think you should probably give him some time. You're going to college which means that you're going to have a lot of things going on, and he's clearly preoccupied too. And during these times, it's actually better not to be too tied down, ... (read in full...)

What can I do to keep myself busy until I go to Uni next year? All my friends have moved away and I'm depressed about not going to Uni this year....

Q.   Hi all, im feeling really depressed and i know its only going to get worse. I want to be a midwife and my school adviser told me to apply for the midwifery course straight away. I did this, and got rejected. This being because they prefer you ...

A.   8 September 2011: Poor you. I hope you've made a complaint about your school adviser. She got it very wrong! I think, despite everything, you've got a pretty good opportunity this year. You wanted to go to uni now, but it's almost as if it wasn't meant to be. Th... (read in full...)

How do I do all these extra jobs and still study?

Q.   This is not a dating problem, but I really think that you guys can help me with this. At least read it... I'd really appreciate it. The thing is – my mother is going away for 10 days tomorrow. She’s leaving me ( 15), my sister ( 10) and our Dad. I’m...

A.   5 September 2011: Actually, I didn't notice. Your English is very good. To your question anyway. I think you've hit the nail on the head. You need to write out a plan and stick to it, because then you'll know that if you follow it, you're sorted. I'd say to maybe... (read in full...)

How can I stop talking to my guy friends? My boyfriend gets really mad.....

Q.   How can I stop talking to my guy friends? I'm still in high school and my boyfriends in his first year of college. He doesn't talk to girls at all in college because he says he loves me too much to talk to them but I talk to two guy friends and he ...

A.   5 September 2011: This is wrong! Firstly, why should you stop talking to people you're friends with because of him? If he demands this then he must be pretty insecure, doesn't trust you and sounds slightly controlling/possessive. You have a right to have your own ... (read in full...)

Why does he want me all to himself? He does not like us going out with our friends as a group

Q.   Hi so i've been with my bf for 3 months now and i like being with him . the thing is that he doesnt like it when we go out with friends. He just wants it to be me and him. I mean ok thats not wrong but i dont think im asking for a lot if he comes ev...

A.   4 September 2011: The fact that he doesn't like you and him going out with friends sounds as if he's possessive. If you were going out with friends without him, his behaviour would make a little bit more sense: he could be worried or paranoid. But if he doesn't like ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend once told me I needed a boob job!

Q.   Hi, I am 20 years old and I have been with my boyfriend just over a year, before we started properly going out we used to see each other he was very affectionate and fun, now I'm constantly worrying crying and being over protective. The reason for ...

A.   3 September 2011: Your boyfriend doesn't seem like a very nice person! I don't think it's you with the problem, but him. You're in a relationship so he shouldn't be eyeing up other girls and making you feel second best. Any decent guy would make their girlfriend feel ... (read in full...)

Has anyone managed to stay in touch with their college friends?

Q.   I'm quite depressed, I'm leaving for university in two weeks and last Saturday was the last time everyone i went to college with was together. It was the best send off that it upsets me that we're going separate ways. I know I'll love university and ...

A.   2 September 2011: I felt exactly the same way as you before I started uni. I absolutely hated school but the thought of it coming to an end was horrible. I think a lot of people feel the same way as you so it's perfectly normal. It's not a nice feeling but it will ... (read in full...)

Can 14 negative pregnancy tests be wrong?

Q.   Can 14 negative pregnancy urine tests be wrong. I just want to know if it's possible to get 14 consecutive tests wrong and nothing else. I'd appreciate some feedback, thank you....

A.   26 August 2011: Yeah, there's a chance but a very tiny one! Take the test as negative.... (read in full...)

A really nice guy likes me, but I like someone else

Q.   Okay, so about a week ago, my roommate and her boyfriend decided to try and set me up with one of his roommates (let's call him John). That part of the plan is going swimmingly. He likes me but he wants to get to know me better before asking me on a ...

A.   25 August 2011: I think you're doing the right thing. The most important thing, in my opinion anyway, is that you don't lead him on. And you're not, which is good. There's no easy way to let him down and being gentle is difficult because no matter how you put it, ... (read in full...)

I only see this girl on facebook and I can't get her to reply

Q.   so theres this girl...and i really like her...i havent seen her all summer...last time i saw her was when i graduated...really sucks how i havent seen her n i barely talk to her...im always trying to talk to her through faacebook or text but she ...

A.   24 August 2011: You can't force her to reply to you. Sending her about 20 texts sounds a bit obsessive to be honest. Especially considering you don't really know her! You say that she's the type of girl you could fall in love with, but is she the type of girl that ... (read in full...)

I've always had a crush on her. Why will she not consider me instead of her B/f?

Q.   i love a girl very much but she doesnt love me she loves her boyfriend...i always had a crush on her...it all started a year ago...she used to tell me that she loves me but it was just to make me happy...she told that she will never love me...but i ...

A.   24 August 2011: Leave her be. She's made her decision and you need to respect that. If her boyfriend makes her happy, then so be it. You can't force someone to love you or go out with you. She has a right to make her own choices in life. I think if she's blocked ... (read in full...)

I like this girl, she asked me for advice about another guy and now I can't contact her online

Q.   Well basically, I got talking to a girl in my school year online, let's call her jane. I'd seen her around but never spoken to her in real life, I had a huge crush on her, so when we started talking I was thrilled. We talked for ages and she said ...

A.   23 August 2011: I think you should move on from her. She's not treating you fairly by messing you about like this! You say you've suggested meeting up with her but she's avoided it; I think if she genuinely liked you she would have made the effort. Also, this whole ... (read in full...)

I don't know if I have enough courage to talk to him

Q.   So, I like this guy and I am positive he likes me too. But we're both really shy and I don't know if I have enough courage to talk to him. By talk to him I mean confront him about my feelings for him. School is just about to start and I don't ...

A.   21 August 2011: Slow down. Just because you like him, it doesn't mean you need to tell him especially if you're not ready to be in a relationship with him. If you're shy around him, then the best thing to do would be to talk to him, as in befriend him, first. Ge... (read in full...)

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