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*ola333

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Dating a new guy: are these red flags or not?

Q.   I am looking for a long term relationship and have a question about the early warning signs in dating. I have recently met a guy, we have had three dates and he's handsome, intelligent and sweet. The dates are great, we talk a lot and he tells me ...

A.   28 April 2014: You are in the beginning stages of dating. Enjoy it. Enjoy him. Certainly keep an eye on how he treats you. But if he usually does what he says, treats you with respect, is where he says he will be, then you need not worry. You should also con... (read in full...)

Is this man a sleaze bucket or am I a prude?

Q.   I recently went on a first date with a guy in the public services blue uniform high up who I met online. He tried to kiss me intimately outside a pub in the car park which I found embarrassing and then text me later that he was going to be doing ...

A.   28 April 2014: Don't waste another second of your life with this guy. He is showing you who he is. His true colors. He is gross and crass. And he has issues. Run.... (read in full...)

Retrograde Jealousy: After 4 years of marriage, out of nowhere, I have begun to play out the STI image and what went on in my wife's life

Q.   Dear Aunts and Uncles, Please let me share my question with you which I have discovered by reading up on articles, is labelled as ‘retrograde jealousy.’ I am 47, (male) and my wife 52. We have been married for just over 4 years since 2010. We...

A.   28 April 2014: Sometimes, things trigger us and we don't know why. I suspect you are going through something in your life that has little to do with your wife's past, My recommendation is to talk to her about your fears. Say honey, I am feeling insecure out of the ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend doesn't take into account the fact that I'm very sensitive

Q.   I've been with my partner for eight-ish years. Some of those were long distance; about half were not. We've had some instability in the relationship, from my breaking up with him multiple times but we've also had some good times. About a year ago ...

A.   31 March 2014: What you are describing is emotional abuse. Go online and look for support. You need to see a counselor. Someone who will help you leave. You are shaky because you are being worn down and your self esteem is being torn down. I wish you the best ... (read in full...)

I just want him to let me go!

Q.   I've been seeing this guy for over three months now. He has serious commitment issues, which he warned me about. He never had a long term relationship, and less than a handful of them were monogamous relationships. He agreed to be exclusive because ...

A.   17 September 2013: Why don't you let him go? Perhaps that is the question you should be asking.... (read in full...)

Creepy Guy: Ignore or Confront?

Q.   Almost all of my friends are males. Most of them also work in my department at work. Usually this has never, ever been a problem. However one of my male friends just... can't take a hint. I'm not interested! A few months back he told me that he ...

A.   29 August 2013: Tell him you don't like his behavior and you are not interested. Then go to HR and report him. This is sexual harassment and as you have already seen ignoring it has done nothing.... (read in full...)

Is my boyfriends behavior with 16 year-olds daughter friend appropriate?

Q.   Hi Everyone, Thanks for taking the time to read my post. I am a 35 year old women in a relationship with a 38 year old man. We have a good relationship and have been together for about 7 months. Recently, I was at his daughter sweet 16 birthda...

A.   28 August 2013: What I meant was is that I see a pattern. A pattern of either self involvement and/or immaturity. You asked him to basically step up and act more adult. On the surface he agreed with you then he responded by pretending he didn't understand you and ... (read in full...)

Is my boyfriends behavior with 16 year-olds daughter friend appropriate?

Q.   Hi Everyone, Thanks for taking the time to read my post. I am a 35 year old women in a relationship with a 38 year old man. We have a good relationship and have been together for about 7 months. Recently, I was at his daughter sweet 16 birthda...

A.   27 August 2013: While on the surface his behavior that night does not raise alarm bells with me, the fact that he likes to hang out with 16 year old girls does. He hangs out with them enough that a mom expressed her concerns about it and yet it did nothing to ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend dumped my because I wouldn't add her as a friend on Facebook.

Q.   My Girlfriend dumped me because I wouldn't add her as my friend on Facebook. I don't understand what everyone's obsession over Facebook is. I like to keep my private life private. I think she is just too jealous. I don't feel I should have to add ...

A.   4 July 2013: No. I don't think she over reacted. I question why you did not want her as a friend. Either you are not proud of the relationship or you are too secretive. Either way, I can completely understand what she did.... (read in full...)

Would it be wrong of me to contact her, considering my position as a teacher/adult in her life?

Q.   I used to student teach at a local high school. While there, i fell head over heels for a junior (now an upcoming senior) in one of my classes. Over the past month, after my internship finished, i found myself falling more and more for her, and...

A.   23 June 2013: If you have to ask this question you are in the wrong profession. No one, who is a position of authority over a child should be allowed to teach. Stay away from her. You stand to break the law and hurt an innocent young person in the process.... (read in full...)

My husband said he'd pack up and move to be with his first love! What am I supposed to do?

Q.   I just recently found out that my husband's first-love contacted him. I also now know that he was the one making the attempts to find her He says he is still in love with her and never got over her. He also wants to continue contact with her to ...

A.   24 April 2013: You so did not over react!!! Your husband needs counseling. You don't deserve this. Most people have someone who got away but the fact that he is willing to jeopardize his marriage to you on the OFF CHANCE that she might want him means you should ... (read in full...)

I've been branded as a "person of suspicion" and have been banned from seeing my husband at his work. Is his boss crazy?!

Q.   As if my life was not weird enough my boyfriends boss is singling me out for harassment. He is a teacher at a local school. She is the principal. I am not at all sure how to deal with this. I noticed about 2 years ago when she started working ...

A.   9 March 2013: Just an update!!! She got fired! That is right, apparently the district had many people complain about her and her contract is not being renewed. Yay. Now, I can volunteer. The only problem is my guy says that he thinks she is the best principal ... (read in full...)

Should I go against my girl's wishes and spend time with my ex and our son on Christmas?

Q.   I have 9 month old son with my ex girlfriend who left me before our son was born. I didn't want to be a father at first which is why she left me. I told her that I couldn't afford a child and we are too young ( Shes 21 I'm 24) I was a total dick ...

A.   4 December 2012: Definitely do not spend the night. That would not be appropriate at all. You current girlfriend should definitely let you see your child. But I have to ask. Why is your current girlfriend not welcome to come over with you and see your son? It seems ... (read in full...)

Financial situation with husband's kids, ex and myself is making me want to leave the marriage!

Q.   My stepdaughter has been living with us for 4 months. She does not pay rent, clean house or buy food. She has a full time job but spends her money on wine, clothes and going out. That brings me to my problem. Her mom and dad have the wackiest ...

A.   5 November 2012: Thank you all for the advice. Something has snapped within me and I have given up. I am going to use the next 2 months to save every penny I can. Then get out. Today we were in church and I asked him to put my arm around me when I was cold. He... (read in full...)

Financial situation with husband's kids, ex and myself is making me want to leave the marriage!

Q.   My stepdaughter has been living with us for 4 months. She does not pay rent, clean house or buy food. She has a full time job but spends her money on wine, clothes and going out. That brings me to my problem. Her mom and dad have the wackiest ...

A.   3 November 2012: Just to clarify. We are engaged to be married and he is divorced from his ex wife. When i say ex I mean ex wife. The woman to who he was legally married for 25 tears. We live together. Have for 4 years. You know how this site has a feature ... (read in full...)

I've been branded as a "person of suspicion" and have been banned from seeing my husband at his work. Is his boss crazy?!

Q.   As if my life was not weird enough my boyfriends boss is singling me out for harassment. He is a teacher at a local school. She is the principal. I am not at all sure how to deal with this. I noticed about 2 years ago when she started working ...

A.   19 October 2012: Here is an update. I got more out of him. She said I was a person of suspicion because about a year ago I was on campus fixing his computer and the campus supervisor saw me and I had not checked in. I guess his assumption is that I was defying ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend does what he wants without considering my feelings

Q.   My boyfriend and I have had a rocky relationship to say the least. The first year of our relationship he had an emotional affair with an old girlfriend. He even kissed her once and even though he told me about it, I have never fully trusted him ...

A.   11 October 2012: He is still riding with the young woman. He doesn't care what I think. I am making a plan to move out. I understand that in a good relationship that I should trust him but I don't trust him. To be trusted you must act trustworthy. I can't believe I ... (read in full...)

Should I abandon ship or stay with a man who lately doesn't seem to like me?

Q.   Is my boyfriend worth fighting for is it time to quit? We have been together for over 4 years. We live together in his house that he owns. I don't believe we will ever marry because he reminds me all the time that I am not the perfect woman for him. ...

A.   11 October 2012: I am really ill right now and he doesn't call to check on me or even email me during the day to see how I am. He doesn't ask if I even need a drink of water when I am in bed. He once told me that if I asked nicely for what I need I would get it b... (read in full...)

Is my boyfriend just overwhelmed by my miscarriage and shutting himself off because of that? Or is he a jerk?

Q.   Hello. I'm new here :) I am pretty distraught right now. My boyfriend and I have only been dating a few months, though we've known each other about five years as friends. We were supremely happy. I have two daughters; he has a son. We are both ...

A.   31 August 2012: I can completely relate to what you are going through. I miscarried a baby at 4 months. My partner not only went to work and left me alone to deal with it myself but he told his old girlfriend that day that I had lost the baby, even though I asked ... (read in full...)

Too Close For My Comfort

Q.   I need advice. My 24 year old stepdaughter moved in with us. She quit a perfectly good job and came home. She doesn't clean up, she doesn't pay rent, she generally acts like she is still a child instead of the grown woman she is. My problem and...

A.   31 August 2012: Thanks to all of you who wrote. I feel very supported. Now I have to decide what I can do. He won't go for couples counseling. He is affectionate with me but only in private. Sometimes when there are others around he acts like I don't exist. ... (read in full...)

Too Close For My Comfort

Q.   I need advice. My 24 year old stepdaughter moved in with us. She quit a perfectly good job and came home. She doesn't clean up, she doesn't pay rent, she generally acts like she is still a child instead of the grown woman she is. My problem and...

A.   30 August 2012: Abella, she has not had a boyfriend in the 4 years I have known her. She says she likes men but I have not even seen her go out on a date. ... (read in full...)

Too Close For My Comfort

Q.   I need advice. My 24 year old stepdaughter moved in with us. She quit a perfectly good job and came home. She doesn't clean up, she doesn't pay rent, she generally acts like she is still a child instead of the grown woman she is. My problem and...

A.   30 August 2012: I think it is great you were so lose with your dad. I too am close with my dad but he doesn't rub on my back while I sit on his lap. I haven't sat on his lap since I was a kid. If I slept near him as an adult it was because we were all in a hote... (read in full...)

Too Close For My Comfort

Q.   I need advice. My 24 year old stepdaughter moved in with us. She quit a perfectly good job and came home. She doesn't clean up, she doesn't pay rent, she generally acts like she is still a child instead of the grown woman she is. My problem and...

A.   29 August 2012: Yes, she lived at home with him unti she was 18 and moved away for college. ... (read in full...)

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