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*ucky786 agony aunt


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*ucky786's profile:

I live on my own in West Yorkshire in my lovely house. I work in the legal sector and love spending time in Starbucks with my friends.

I am currently single and enjoy my freedom and independence. I love reading walking and watching films. My job is quite stressful so I enjoy activities that serve as an outlet for relieving all that stress.

I've been married, divorced, suffered child abuse and self-harm but I survived all of that! I think that's what makes me the person I am. I've learnt many harsh lessons in life and the most important one is that life is too short to hate those that have wronged us. Instead I thank god each day for his blessings.

I also love my dad very much, more than he will ever know x

1234567Next > [7 pages, 221 answers]

I don’t think I can ever respect another woman again.

Q.   Right now my brain is the midst of a battle...Why? It’s because I’m somehow beginning to see women in a completely different light than I did before. Long story short, Wednesday at work, the topic of women came up. In my office there are 3 guys and...

A.   13 October 2012: You've fallen victim to your own "standards" to tell the truth always. Your colleagues told you their truthful opinions and look at how you are reacting. ... (read in full...)

I really love this guy, so how can I get him to trust me again?

Q.   I met this guy online in April, we talked, enjoyed one another and start talking about sharing a life together, but one night I log back on the site and he confronted me about it the next day. I really hurt him, I apolgized and gave him some spa...

A.   7 October 2012: I don't understand what you've done wrong here that you need to be forgiven? From your account, I think you've done enough. if he doesn't want to forgive you then that's up to him. Why do you want to be forgiven by somebody who enjoys seeing y... (read in full...)

How can I safely cut my addiction to (well known brand) coffee and become healthier?

Q.   I attend university classes 4 days a week. On those days I wake up at about 8:30am. I always grab a tall cup of X Brand Coffee. I have always limited myself to the "tall" size and I only drink latte, mocha, frappuccino, or black tea latte, all of w...

A.   6 October 2012: Water. Drink plenty of water. I used to drink 9 cups of coffee a day. I cut down to 3-4 by drinking more water which helped with the headaches I was experiencing. ... (read in full...)

I cheated on my husband with his best friend (out of revenge for my husband cheating on me) and had a baby which my husband thinks is his. Should I tell him the truth?

Q.   I had an affair 2 years ago with my husbands best friend who is also married and got pregnant. I had the affair out of revenge for him cheating on me. Not that its an excuse I know it was still wrong. I know its his baby cause my husband had a ...

A.   5 October 2012: Your husband, your child, your family, the biological father of your child, his wife, their family, all deserve to know the truth. I think the deceit in your situation has gone on long enough.... (read in full...)

Married man left his wife for me, but then gave it another go with her without telling me! Was I used?

Q.   I became friendly with a married man i met on holiday, we started texting when we got back and ended up teting all day and speaking on the phone when we could. He said he has always been unhappy in his marriage and that he never was sure about ...

A.   5 October 2012: Yes you were used but be thankful that he won't get the chance to use you again. Learn from this that you are worth so much more and pity his wife, like I do.... (read in full...)

Lack of support and TLC - What the kind of behavior is this?

Q.   Hey everyone. I apologize for the lengthy post. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. Relationship is up and down, he does really stupid and hurtful things sometimes, and all the time I just give him chance, after chance, after ...

A.   5 October 2012: It's the behaviour of a man who is selfish and doesn't care. As much as you want him to care, he doesn't. If I were you, I'd be thankful for each day that he doesn't contact you.... (read in full...)

I got rejected. Will I find someone better?

Q.   Hey all, I got rejected by a guy I really like. Although I have dated in the past, I feel he is the first guy to understand me. He also has qualities that I all want in a person and shares many similarities to me. Unfortunately, we've known ea...

A.   5 October 2012: You're not in a good place right now to think about the future. Your feelings of rejection are still raw and you can't see beyond them. It's a cliche but time will heal. You will meet someone as good or better than this man but only when you are ... (read in full...)

Am I causing her trauma? I am a disabled man. How does a Prostitute feel when she has paid sex with a disabled man?

Q.   I am a disabled person and I started visiting prostitute for paid sex. I am very nice to her and I always give her some extra money. She is also very kind to me, she helps me undress my self and later putting clothes back. She alway seems to be gl...

A.   22 September 2012: You need to look in yourself and address the obvious issue, your guilt and lack of self-esteem. Your issue isn't with the prostitute and how she feels about you. It's how you feel about you.... (read in full...)

Is it wrong of me to get involved with the son of my lover who passed away?

Q.   my fiance of 3and 1/2 years took his own life in january of this year. thru hate emails, i came to find out that there were like 12 of us that he had proposed to. but that didn't stop me from loving him and mourning for him. he has 3 children, all ...

A.   21 September 2012: You seem like a sensitive person who has been there for "John" at a bad time in his life. He lost his father and you lost your fiance. "John" may truly love you but part of me wonders whether it's your shared grief for a man you both loved that has ... (read in full...)

GF doesn't want friends to know about relationship.

Q.   Ok, so i've dated my gf for almost 2 years now. Only people that know we're in a relationship is her family but not her friends. I asked her why she doesn't want other people to know about our relationship and she said that if we break up she ...

A.   21 September 2012: A 2 year secret? Wow. Usually when people are in a relationship they want EVERYONE to know about it so I'm not sure why she wants to keep you a secret? Unless she is keeping her options open?... (read in full...)

I'm back and in need of some more tough love. I do everything for her and she constantly curses at me and says I do nothing. I need help getting away.

Q.   Well agony aunts... It's me. The one that moved to Tennessee to be with a woman I love, that turned out to be a rough ride with 3 kids... Bring back memories now. I wanted to provide an update and get more brutality thrown my way because it helps me ...

A.   14 September 2012: This cycle of soul-destroying madness will keep going until YOU decide to hit the brakes. That will only happen when you start to value yourself and realise you're a puppet on a string for her. ... (read in full...)

My coworker and I had an affair but now he doesn't seem interested anymore. What's the problem?

Q.   Hello All on this forum. I have a problem i really need help with. I think i have been foolish. A month or so ago i had sexual intercourse with a man from my office of work place. Sure he chased me and flirted with me and text me more than my husba...

A.   14 September 2012: He got what he wanted SEX. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less.... (read in full...)

I just want to know how to leave my son's father and be strong enough to never take him back because his lies are getting too much to take.

Q.   I just need to get this off my chest and rant a little and hear back from people... I have an 18 month old son. His father and I knew each other for years but weren't in a relationship when I became pregnant. Things weren't great while I was preg...

A.   5 September 2012: You built your relationship around having a child together. You can't really stay with someone just because of a child, there has to be more. ... (read in full...)

Is shyness a sign of interest?

Q.   What is the meaning if the girl cannot look in your eyes or she is feeling awkward when you are talking to each other? she knows that I like her since 4 years ago but im shy so i cant show it to her. Only now im trying to talk to her. Is being ...

A.   5 September 2012: In my experience being a little shy is nice BUT being too shy means you'll both get nowhere fast. Keep trying to talk to her though and I'm sure you'll win her over. ... (read in full...)

Should my boyfriend pay something if he moves into my house?

Q.   My bf and i will soon be moving in together - he will be moving into my house. We have already agreed on that we will split the utilities bills and food. However he doesnt think he should pay anything weekly. Obviously i am not looking to make any ...

A.   4 September 2012: Before you do anything like asking him to pay rent etc, I'd get some legal advice first. You need to make sure that if you both split up, he doesn't have a share in your house even though it is in your name. Once you know the legal ins and ou... (read in full...)

My LDR boyfriend blew off my birthday. His birthday is in a few days. Should I blow it off or at least send him a card? 

Q.   My LDR boyfriend of 1.5 yrs allegedly forgot my birthday (*actually, I think he remembered 2 days before but decided to be cheap and blow it off). When I didn't speak to him for 2 days, he still didn't try to make it up to me, so I asked him to ...

A.   4 September 2012: I wouldn't send him a card. You reap what you sow.... (read in full...)

How can I tell him that the one night stand meant nothing?

Q.   I'm after a little bit of advice. I really have messed up and don't know how or if I can fix this. I really like this guy, but I thought he had made it clear that he wasn't interested in me. His best mate started flirting with me and I stupidly...

A.   4 September 2012: You say you think he has found out about your one-night stand. Do you know this for sure? If this is the reason why he is not speaking to you then you have to remember that you weren't with him at the time. Having said that the fact that you had ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend didn't invite me for icecream!

Q.   recently my bf has moved to my city and our 3years of long distance has ended.we love each other and we were meeting frequently last he went to mall without telling me.he didnt invite me though he knew that next week its not possible to ...

A.   4 September 2012: He's probably sick of you demanding attention all the time and just wants to be left alone. Why don't you just let the dust settle between you? Don't text him or call him. Let him breathe...... (read in full...)

My good friend told me this morning he has fallen for me but I don't feel the same way. How do I handle this?

Q.   Hi,I am from India and i am friends with guy 3 years older than me.Until today morning,everything was just great.We used to hang out and have a great time talking and being goofy with each other and today morning he told me that he is falling for ...

A.   3 September 2012: Just be straight with him, if you say nothing the situation will escalate beyond control which will threaten the friendship you currently have.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend didn't invite me for icecream!

Q.   recently my bf has moved to my city and our 3years of long distance has ended.we love each other and we were meeting frequently last he went to mall without telling me.he didnt invite me though he knew that next week its not possible to ...

A.   3 September 2012: You told him to choose between paying cards and talking to you or just playing cards or just talking to you. He cut you off. Choice made.... (read in full...)

Is it ok that I tell this guy I'm dating (I'm not) just so he won't try to ask me out?

Q.   Hi! I just started my freshman year of college a week ago. It has been a pretty difficult adjustment for me and I'm just trying to hang in there and hope it sorts itself out. Well, one of the problems I had during my first week was this guy in my Fr...

A.   3 September 2012: Of course it's okay to lie. But first put yourself in his shoes. Would you want to be lied to in this situation or would you want to be told the truth? ... (read in full...)

I'm married but attracted to a guy at work. My husband is okay with it, but how do I approach him?

Q.   Hi! I'm 35 yrs old, married and i'm attracted to this guy at work. I feel he likes me too. I told my husband about this and he' ok with it. I only slept with one guy which is my husband. He said it's ok to have sex with him if it comes to that. My ...

A.   3 September 2012: So your husband says it's okay and you're okay with it. Fine but what about this guy? Don't you think you should mention your husband and marriage to him before you involve him in your quest to broaden your experience? Why don't you chat to him ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend didn't invite me for icecream!

Q.   recently my bf has moved to my city and our 3years of long distance has ended.we love each other and we were meeting frequently last he went to mall without telling me.he didnt invite me though he knew that next week its not possible to ...

A.   2 September 2012: It would have been nice if he had invited you but he didn't. Just because you're closer together doesn't mean you have to spend every minute with each other. Maybe he wanted to spend time on his own or with his mates?... (read in full...)

Should I send a text saying, I miss you so much, I don't want someone else, I want to be with you . 

Q.   hello i went on a date with a woman 5 weeks ago, she said it was lovley and i was a lovley man xxx . i wanted to give her a kiss at end of date, but did not want to risk it . i told this a few days later and she said she was not interested. but we ...

A.   2 September 2012: You could send a text if you want to. Not sure what good it will do because I think she has made it clear that she does not reciprocate your feelings.... (read in full...)

He offered me sex instead of a relationship!

Q.   Should I be insulted that a guy Ive liked for a while has asked me to be his FWB or 'fuck buddy'? He says he doesnt want a relationship but wants to be more than friends. Im shocked and dont know what to say! Im 29 and hes 28, Im looking for a ...

A.   2 September 2012: I don't think you should be insulted, I mean he has been honest about what he wants. If you want a relationship and he wants a fu*k buddy then clearly you are not suitable for each other.... (read in full...)

How do you get over someone that isn't available?

Q.   I get easily attached to guys but for a long while I haven't liked anyone until recently. I started my new job a few months ago and there is a guy who is one of my relative's friend that got me the job. I am thankful to him but I notice that I ...

A.   2 September 2012: Just keep in mind how happy he is with his wife and children and how much trouble would be caused if you were ever to try and make a move on him. That should be enough for you to stay away from him and get over this infatuation.... (read in full...)

I feel like my love for him died.

Q.   I had a pregnancy scare a few days ago, I told my bf and I took a test, it came out positive. But, just to be sure I made an appointment for another test. At first, my bf seemed supportive and soothed my nerves. On our way to the appointment though, ...

A.   2 September 2012: I think his reaction is a major red flag for your relationship and I don't think you are overreacting at all. His reaction shows that he doesn' trust you. It shows you cannot rely upon him when the relationship faces challenges. I'd seriousl... (read in full...)

B/f doesn't treat me with love and care like he used to

Q.   in terms of problems this maybe isnt huge but it is playing on my mind a bit. i have been with my boyfreind for 2 years now...and he just doesnt treat me with the same care and attention he used to. Yesterday was my 24rd birthday....and i got ...

A.   2 September 2012: This issue isn't about money it's about caring enough to realise that a birthday is a special day to make a fuss of the people you truly care about. If you were reading your post and it was written by a young teen talking about his/her parents ... (read in full...)

I like this guy but he suddenly stopped talking me and said he would rather date himself. How do I get over him?

Q.   Hello I recently have been hanging out with this guy who likes me and I like him. We have been through a few years and he says he wants to go out with me and now he stopped talking to me and said on Facebook he knows now he would rather just date ...

A.   1 September 2012: He sounds like a git. Keep telling yourself he's a git and you'll get over him.... (read in full...)

He makes 6 times the money I do but he won't spend anything on me.

Q.   I met a new guy weeks after i ended up the relationship with my worthless boyfiend.Now We are dating for about three months relationship.He is a successfull man,he makes almost six times of what I make at my job; but it won't spend nothing on me. He ...

A.   1 September 2012: I don't think this man's attitude to money makes him a good candidate for marriage. Maybe as an only child he hasn't learnt to share etc. Try speaking to him about his reluctance to spend money on you. If he doesn't change, then you'll have you... (read in full...)

How do I chose one friend over another?

Q.   I've seen a similar question about this but the answers didnt really help me. Basically, 2 of my friends asked me to go on holiday with them next summer, i know i want to go with one of them but how do i tell my other friend? Please help...

A.   31 August 2012: If each friend is going somewhere different, you could say you've always really wanted to go where that friend is going.... (read in full...)

Should I sponsor the guy I like at work for his charity event or will this make me look too keen?

Q.   There is a guy I really like at work; we chat, he says hello, offers to get me drinks etc and is generally nice to me. I have told a few people I think he's cool but I dont know if he knows. I can't work out whether he's being polite or whether he ...

A.   29 August 2012: You're over analysing the situation. Sponsor him! Go on it's for charidee!!!... (read in full...)

He wants me to change my title from Mrs to Ms. Should I, and how do I do it?

Q.   My husband is very keen and really wants me to change my title from Mrs. to Ms. He says it is much more sexy. What do others think about this, as I am fairly OK with it, but not totally sure. How would I go about effecting this change? ...

A.   28 August 2012: What's in a name?... (read in full...)

Am I calling too much? Will he forgive me? I don't know what to do.

Q.   3 days were gone and he didnt call me , A year we are together never apart from telephone and calls, every time sayed to each other Ilove you and miss you , and qe really do, I think I have done e little mistake to telling him in the phone , I was ...

A.   28 August 2012: Stop! Take a deep breath and back the hell up girl!!! What is wrong with you??? Stop running after this guy and stop making him your WHOLE LIFE. Look at the way he behaves, he is in a relationship with you but is able to put that to one side and ... (read in full...)

How do I convince my brother to give up on being a lawyer?

Q.   My brother wants to be a lawyer I doubt that he can become a lawyer because he did so poorly in highschool. No one in the family has ever become a lawyer or doctor so why does he even try He signed up for community college. He study's all da...

A.   27 August 2012: I don't think you should discourage your brother from trying to fulfill his dreams but rather you should encourage him to have a back-up plan in case he doesn't make it. Becoming a lawyer is less about fantastic grades in school per se. Law firm... (read in full...)

Found love at the age of 27, got rejected after months. What to do?

Q.   Hi everyone, First of all, some introductions are necessary to make my problem easier to fully understand. I'm a 27-year-old guy from Budapest, Hungary. I have a Master's Degree in Electrical Engineering and a great job since 2010; I have qui...

A.   20 July 2012: This is her problem not yours. It wasn't up to you to ask her if she had a boyfriend. If your friendship (or her relationship for that matter) meant anything to her, she would've been upfront with you from the start. Honesty and trust are the foun... (read in full...)

He seems to think I'm his girlfriend! How do I handle this?

Q.   hey everyone...there is this boy who likes me, i know so because he told me that he loves me and that he wants to date me.well i have been single for over a year now and i am ready for a relationship.but the problem is i dont find him sexually ...

A.   20 July 2012: Stay away from him for a while and don't be available for him. He'll get the message.... (read in full...)

I think that the financial issue is straining our relationship.

Q.   My boyfriend is having a financial problem. He's avoiding meeting me, giving me excuses like traffic congestion. He admitted that spending time with me (lunch, tea) makes him spend money. What made me very angry is when he added, "When I stay at ...

A.   9 July 2012: What has made him feel like this? When you have lunch together to you go to expensive places to eat? Why not suggest a picnic that you can assemble yourselve(hopefully the weather is sunnier in Australia than here). If he rejects the idea, th... (read in full...)

Got pregnant without intercourse -- can I still call myself a virgin?

Q.   Hello,am 22yrs old,a female and av always wanted to keep my virginity for the right guy.wen I was 18,I was in a relationship and wen we are making out,he normally uses his penis to rub my vagina,in one of dose occassions!he ejaculated on my vagina ...

A.   30 May 2012: If I were you, I'd concentrate on finding a reliable method of birth control to avoid an unwanted pregnancy again, rather then your status as a virgin.... (read in full...)

How do you truly know if this is the person you should spend the rest of your life with?

Q.   Hi i was hoping to get advice on how do you know if the person you are with is The One!! i'm in a relationship, in fact living with my boyfriend for the past year and a bit. we have talked about the future, marriage, family etc i do love him and ...

A.   16 May 2012: The only person you need to worry about spending the rest of your life with is you. This issue isn't about him it's about you and your own view of yourself and how you see yourself in this relationship. You won't ever truly know whether this man... (read in full...)

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