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... Send *bella a private message | | | *bella's profile:"Always be Kinder than necessary"... J M Barrie
I've added some new quotes today (but also kept the earlier ones below)
And the next two quotes are from a wise Uncle on this site called BrownWolf http://www.dearcupid.org/people/brownwolf
“I very thankful for the ounce of common sense I have...because sense is not that common. :) “
"Stay away from foolish people; they have nothing to teach you."
That quote about foolish people from BrownWolf is so true. A weak person cannot be trusted. With a strong person you have more certainty, they are not afraid to stand up and be counted when they are needed.
And I especially like BrownWolf's first quote above on common sense and so I asked BrownWolf for permission to replicate it here. BrownWolf then generously offered the second quote, above, as well.
When you meet a person for the first time, then imagine they are facing their biggest challenge ever:
With this mind-set it reminds us to be kind and use empathy because we can never truly know the extent of personal challenges a person is currently facing.
Badgering a person and humiliation with unreasonable demands for "I have to know" is more likely to harm than help. We do not "have to know". Be kind. Listen carefully and remain supportive. Then the person will willingly reveal more and feel safe to reveal more again.
We can never assume that things are much easier than things are for ourselves.
It encourages one to listen carefully and employ empathy in our dealings with others.
In life we face many things. But with each challenge we can grow a little stronger. When you meet a person with great strength of character it is possible that they grew that strength as a result of some very tough obstacles and some personal tragedies.
Never underestimate such a person.
Strength does not imply brutality nor cruelty and often not even physical strength.
A truly strong person will never seek to harm another. They know their strength and they know that kindness will move mountains more easily than brutality.
Then there is one of my favourites: Sun Tzu.
The wisdom of Sun Tzu is still as fresh as the day he wrote it 4000 years ago:
“A leader leads by example not by force. “
And now some less well known quotes:
“It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections.”
by Daisaku Ikeda
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
by Maya Angelou
“Challenges are what will make us stronger.”
by Zainab Alsaati
Respect other people's feelings. Even if it doesn't mean anything to you, it could mean everything to them. (quoted by many, but generally considered to be by 'unknown')
'As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.'.....Andrew Carnegie
I also respect the Chinese idea of "face" - there is no need to humiliate people. It demeans the one doing the demeaning. there are better ways to call a person to account with dignity. Focus on the Issue when there is a problem rather than be accusatory to the person
'Spilled water is hard to regain' (fù shu nán shou)
"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt,
kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate." .....Albert Schweitzer
'A sunny disposition is worth more than fortune.
Young people should know that it can be cultivated; that the mind like the body can be moved from the shade into sunshine'. .Andrew Carnegie
"We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds." ... Author Unknown, from A Great Life Lesson
“It always seems impossible until it's done.”... Nelson Mandella
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." .....Mother Teresa
"Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough." .....Franklin D. Roosevelt
'Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.'...Andrew Carnegie
what's your favourite quote?
But all is not sweetness, kindness and light in this complex world.
There really are afflicted and inadequate people in this world who get their pleasure from deliberately trying to hurt others.
They do this out of an inflated sense of their importance in the scheme of things. They feel entitled to be mean to others. They have become arrogant over the years.
Yet they are not the strong individuals they think they are. Instead they are passive aggressive bullies.
There are those afflicted with traits that are so petty and unkind that one wonders what has happened to make them that way?
Their arrogance will not allow them to step back and get help for their afflictions.
Instead, like a bull in a china shop, they just keep on head butting harder and harder, using the same tactics they've been using for years to try to get their own way.
What traits cause the problems for such insecure arrogant persons with an inflated sense of entitlement?
Here are a few of the afflictions that continually cause problems in their relationships:
Negativity?
Passive Aggression?
Being Hate filled towards those they see as ''less'' than themselves = everyone?
Envy
Jealousy
For those afflicted with those horrible traits all I can feel for these tormented souls is pity that they are beset with such inadequacies and negativity.
The traits result in them concocting a lie that they are the victims, when in reality they are instead the bullies, the overly judgmental and nasty arrogant persons who enjoy hurting others.
Just feel sorry for them and their inadequate responses.
Then go forth and find things to enjoy in life. Find the positive, find ways to be supportive and kind to others. It is win win in every way on all sides.
Turn your back on cruel unkind and bitter people. Leave them to scheme alone. Their negativity causes their faces to betray their bitterness within.
Their hearts harden and they wonder why others can be so unaffected by all their schemes to hurt others. They are the losers who think their nastiness towards others is justified. |
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22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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A. 29 July 2016: and my list of Great Articles written by others needs an addition and here it is:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/just-some-fun.html
A little humour goes a long way.
The above article was published in 2008 and was written by one of th... (read in full...)
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http://www.dearcupid.org/question/wanted:-your-input-on-dearcupidorg.html
Great t... (read in full...)
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22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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A. 15 August 2015: this is not an article but it is a gorgeous answer that Missy_25 wrote in reply to a poster.
Missy_25 answered the following question - and her answer is worth pinning up somewhere prominent at home. Her advice was AAA all stars and I loved it... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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A. 21 May 2015: Dating tips. Thanks to a fairly new poster commenting on the following post I would see that this great contribution deserved to be in this compilation.
So here it is:
Need to think of some questions to ask on a date?
Below is a great list o... (read in full...)
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A. 12 April 2015: Well I just realized that GeeGee255 's article is so good that I have recommended it twice. That's what happens to really good articles. They are enduring. Wise advice is worth sharing with others.
And dearcupid.org certainly does have a lot of w... (read in full...)
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A. 12 April 2015: GeeGee is a wise Aunt with three sons and some amazing life experience. She started dispensing advice at age 13 and is now a very busy grandmother. I've let her know that I thought her post was really relevant to teens today and so I am highlighting ... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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A. 2 March 2015: Relationships - it's not plain sailing sometimes.
Now the following is not from an article. But the answer from very wise Uncle wiseowle was so good to this question below that I am including the post in this compilation of really Great arti... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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A. 24 February 2015: Looking much younger than your chronological age. What a great article
One of the Uncles: mfj78 has written here:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/the-perills-of-looking-young.html
I love articles that really demonstrate a key is... (read in full...)
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A. 1 September 2014: Always on the lookout for new good articles to group together in this archive of great articles on dearCupid.org. It makes it easier to find the articles so that I can recommend the articles to others .
Today I am adding a guide o teen dating w... (read in full...)
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A. 1 September 2014: I am adding a new Article to the DEAR CUPID Hall of Fame.
It is about DATING TIPS and deserves to be here with the Best
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/first-date-tips.html
Although it started off as a question it is so good that the ans... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship with mother and grandmother. What do I do?
Q. Hello, This is a family orientated relationship problem. I am a 30 year old female. I am in contact with my grandmother and siblings. My father and I have been estranged for 10 years with very little communication in that time. Over the p...
A. 14 July 2014: Sadly I think you'll have to be guarded about what you tell anyone in her son's family. They seem to be tolerating her continuing reign of harassment.
That they tolerate it, does NOT mean that you have to put up with her continuing harassment.
Wh... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship with mother and grandmother. What do I do?
Q. Hello, This is a family orientated relationship problem. I am a 30 year old female. I am in contact with my grandmother and siblings. My father and I have been estranged for 10 years with very little communication in that time. Over the p...
A. 14 July 2014: Hi
I used the term Judge. But it seems in your country you have another role which is less than a Judge but where the person has plenty of Power in the Courts at a lower level than a Judge. In your country it is called a Magistrate.
I don't k... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship with mother and grandmother. What do I do?
Q. Hello, This is a family orientated relationship problem. I am a 30 year old female. I am in contact with my grandmother and siblings. My father and I have been estranged for 10 years with very little communication in that time. Over the p...
A. 14 July 2014: A threat to your business?
That is a serious threat to your livelihood.
Get a lawyer to handle this. She needs to hear a Judge warn her off.
She will not listen to you and you are wasting your time trying to appeal to her.
Her aims towards you... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship with mother and grandmother. What do I do?
Q. Hello, This is a family orientated relationship problem. I am a 30 year old female. I am in contact with my grandmother and siblings. My father and I have been estranged for 10 years with very little communication in that time. Over the p...
A. 13 July 2014: No I don't think it will help at all. She will no doubt be contemptuous about the letter.
By writing to her you are giving her the attention and drama that she craves. You will be giving her the Power over you that she thinks she is entitled to y... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship with mother and grandmother. What do I do?
Q. Hello, This is a family orientated relationship problem. I am a 30 year old female. I am in contact with my grandmother and siblings. My father and I have been estranged for 10 years with very little communication in that time. Over the p...
A. 5 July 2014: hi
you really must get over this guilt, it is unproductive.
Get some counselling if you start to want to go back to being humiliated and abused and manipulated.
Doing the same thing again will get you into an unhealthy situation and you will not... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship with mother and grandmother. What do I do?
Q. Hello, This is a family orientated relationship problem. I am a 30 year old female. I am in contact with my grandmother and siblings. My father and I have been estranged for 10 years with very little communication in that time. Over the p...
A. 5 July 2014: Well done that you managed for TWO YEARS without them. The world did not stop while you left did it?
They managed without you while you were away?
You have been there and done that in the past and you know how toxic they are towards you.
Cont... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 28 June 2014: Online dating: Thank you Mark1978
I just added an article by Mark1978 to my list of TOP articles.
Mark1978 has just created this excellent article on online dating.
http://www.de... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 29 May 2013: This compilation is so useful.
I just recommended three articles celebrated within this Article.
You can find out which articles I just recommended by clicking on to the link below.
My responses to the question below are all about datings. a... (read in full...)
My partner says I'm too heavy for sex!
Q. We cannot have sexual intercouse because my female partner has told me that I am too heavy for her. What is the best way to lose weight? Is it a good idea for me to go to the gym? Has this been a common problem for other couples when hav...
A. 31 March 2013: Hah! TrancedRhythmEar is not telling the full story. TrancedRhythmEar is charming and delightful and flirty and that is why women are attracted to him. I would like TrancedRhythmEar to write the definitive article for men on flirting with wo... (read in full...)
How can I get out of this rut? And How can you like someone when you don't really know him, and when you can't speak to him?
Q. Hiya Im not really sure what answers Im looking for but Ill try and make some sense! Im nearly 21 and Ive never had a boyfriend, kissed a boy etc. I'm also overweight but am in the progress of losing weight :) I feel constantly like I'm...
A. 31 March 2013: You lack of confidence in yourself is a major problem.
You can try to address this with a great article by Code Warrior:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-is-confidence-and-how-do-i-get.html
a step by step process to self Confidence
... (read in full...)
How can I get out of this rut? And How can you like someone when you don't really know him, and when you can't speak to him?
Q. Hiya Im not really sure what answers Im looking for but Ill try and make some sense! Im nearly 21 and Ive never had a boyfriend, kissed a boy etc. I'm also overweight but am in the progress of losing weight :) I feel constantly like I'm...
A. 31 March 2013: Hi Flowerfairy
There are many instances where plus size girls do find love. And I think that is wonderful.
But you are narrowing the pool of guys available to you while you remain plus size.
Maybe you are hopeful that you will find the perfect... (read in full...)
Can you die of heartbreak?
Q. Hey I need help me and my girl broke up were together like a year...we were in love love or so I thought:( she seems fine though and I'm heartbroken:'( like for real guys I know everyone's been hurt including me but I've been depressed since the ...
A. 31 March 2013: three days is the start of your grieving process. And that is what you are facing and suffering ,right now, GRIEF.
you are in shock at your loss, you don't even want to believe it is happening. When you accept that you CAN overcome this cruel blow... (read in full...)
The love and passion seem to have waned. He's always at the gym. What are my options for the future, and what would be best for my son and I?
Q. I need some advice and help! I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 4 years now, we have a little three year old boy- as you can figure this happened soon after we met and we decided to do this together. He is a great fathe...
A. 30 March 2013: Post script
Did a bit more reading up on partial centerlink payment options.
I do know that you said you work full time too.
However even if you work, depending on your earnings, you may be eleigible for a part-payment of the Centerlink payme... (read in full...)
The love and passion seem to have waned. He's always at the gym. What are my options for the future, and what would be best for my son and I?
Q. I need some advice and help! I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 4 years now, we have a little three year old boy- as you can figure this happened soon after we met and we decided to do this together. He is a great fathe...
A. 30 March 2013: I imagine you have already done everything to talk to him about this but that he no longer wants to listen. This is not a good situation for you or your son.
May be suggest some Couples Counselling.
Try to determine if he has a health issue, ... (read in full...)
I want children and what if my almost 39 year old girlfriend can't have them?
Q. I m a 40 years old man. I never had a chance to find someone who I wanted to share mylife with and have children with until a year ago. I had girlfriends but never anyone who I could marry. I m also an only child, as my mother had me in her lat...
A. 29 March 2013: Option one: the natural way but time is running out. I think you would be better to consider option 2.
Option two: IVF is very expensive and may take a big emotional toll on your relationship. If you do want children and you want biologic... (read in full...)
How can I ask my customers politely to leave tip?
Q. I've been waitressing at a restaurant for a few months. I've noticed that certain regulars don't leave tip regardless of service. And of course there are occasional customers that don't tip at all. How can I ask my customers politely to leave tip? ...
A. 29 March 2013: I am sure you already give excellent customer service.
In some countries tipping is not the norm. But those are generally countries where the base wages paid are higher than in the US. Right now your base wage is low and so you rely on tips. I ... (read in full...)
In private he is affectionate towards me. But in front of others he pushes me away. How do I handle this?
Q. So, this is going to be a little long so bear with me. + I have been talking about this on a forum anonymously for over 3 years now, and it hasn't gotten any better. I even turned to y! answers one other time to ask about this, but I am in a diffic...
A. 27 March 2013: to NOT have these feelings you need to work on your own self esteem. When you feel secure within yourself you are able to cope better with the peaks and troughs in life.
When you know who you are, what you need, where you need to go, why you need... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship with mother and grandmother. What do I do?
Q. Hello, This is a family orientated relationship problem. I am a 30 year old female. I am in contact with my grandmother and siblings. My father and I have been estranged for 10 years with very little communication in that time. Over the p...
A. 25 March 2013: you will need to be more guarded in what you say. While your siblings are still ''under the thumb'' they should be give limited information. When they are mature enough to respect your privacy and you can trust them to keep a confidence then they ... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship with mother and grandmother. What do I do?
Q. Hello, This is a family orientated relationship problem. I am a 30 year old female. I am in contact with my grandmother and siblings. My father and I have been estranged for 10 years with very little communication in that time. Over the p...
A. 25 March 2013: Hi
Yes I think the letter will add fuel to the fire. And I don't think you have to physically move again to get some distance.
They still make you feel hurt even though you distanced yourself from them. Part of the problem being that you still al... (read in full...)
My Mom only wanted to help. Now my Dad has been diagnosed with sleep apnoea she feels she's ruined his life. What can be done to make this better?
Q. Help my dad has been diagnosed with border line sleep apnoea. My mom made him get checked out as he would stop breathing in the night. Now he has to wear a mask in bed for the rest of his life. My mom is upset and feels my dad hates her for it....
A. 24 March 2013: Your mother did the right thing.
His health will be compromised if he does NOT wear the mask. Get your father to read some facts and talk to his Doctor so he understands what a serious condition this really is.
http://ww... (read in full...)
What's the difference between your "one true love" and your "first love"? Does everyone have a "one true love"?
Q. Everyone talks about their one true love and things like that, so is it common that most people? Will most people have a true love and a first love? What's the difference? Is it like (not the best simile I know) your first car say? You reme...
A. 24 March 2013: Your "first love" may feel like your "one true love" but this is rarely the case. And although many people sincerely feel that the love of their life is their "one true love" I don't believe this either. I used to believe it when I was a teenager... (read in full...)
I have a crush on my science teacher and I think me might like me too?
Q. i have a huge crush on my science teacher mr m....... because, his irish, his only 23, he has nice blue eyes and brown hair, and he is really nice to me. i think that he might have a crush on me too because everyone else who he teaches has that his...
A. 23 March 2013: You are certainly not alone. Many students at schools do get a crush on a teacher.
It is a hazard that is best avoided. Such crushes do cause many problems both for the student and the teacher.
Here are some other people who have suffered si... (read in full...)
My daughter was bullied into sending a nude photo to a boy. What should I do?
Q. Ok, so my 13 year old daughter comes to me in the middle of the night crying because she did something really bad. She said she was pressured into sending a photo of herself nude to a boy in her class. He was being really mean and bullying towards ...
A. 21 March 2013: Initially observe your daughter for any behavioural changes. Show her the respect she asks for. But this guy may still try something nasty again. Or in a weak moment say more than he should. Your daughter does not want you to go to the school y... (read in full...)
How to deal with being completely alone...?
Q. That's basically my situation. I feel like I pretty much have nobody. I'm sure it's partly my fault, but there are other factors that make it difficult for me to really get out there and socialize. For one, I don't even have a car right now (and ...
A. 17 March 2013: Hi, Well you certainly have come to the right place to get support. First off, your parents are adults and they are responsible for themselves, as is your Aunt . Sounds like your Mom is manipulative, devious and a liar. That is probably why the... (read in full...)
In private he is affectionate towards me. But in front of others he pushes me away. How do I handle this?
Q. So, this is going to be a little long so bear with me. + I have been talking about this on a forum anonymously for over 3 years now, and it hasn't gotten any better. I even turned to y! answers one other time to ask about this, but I am in a diffic...
A. 17 March 2013: This sounds too one sided at the moment.
And it is tough that all these people are your friends. But one is behaving like a Judas. Denying you in public.
Right now, distressing as it is, there are two things to consider.
1. He is not the only ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my boyfriend about my mother judging him based on his Facebook posts?
Q. Hi there I am really heartbroken by my mothers comments. I have been with a lovely guy now for the last 5 months he is four years younger than me. My mother does not approve of this but I am 31 it's not like we are teenagers. She has not even ...
A. 16 March 2013: Your mother's opinion you can listen to respectfully, but not react.
She is not talking to her little girl. She is talking to her daughter who is a grown woman who can choose her own boyfriends.
At 31 you make your own mind up.
At 31 you are enti... (read in full...)
Husband watches man to man porn. Is he still solely hetrosexual? Or is he more likely gay?
Q. I am married. In the every first year of our marriage I discovered a CD hidden by my husband. But on that porn were relations between men to men. I was so innocent about it. I talked to my husband and he asked, with tearful eyes, forgiveness ...
A. 14 March 2013: Iamheretohelp made a very good point. Men come in all shapes, sizes, viewpoints and sexual persuasions. They are all real men. You cannot tell a man's sexual persuasion just by looking at how he looks nor his words.
But staying in a rela... (read in full...)
I have a crush on the car mechanic. But is he over me? I thought things were going well, but now he seems to prefer to speak to my mother.
Q. What do I do. I'm in love with my mechanic and I need help, I'm in my late 20s and never been in a serious relationship. I have fancied a few boys but never one like this, everyday I think about him, I crave there to be something wrong with my ca...
A. 12 March 2013: I think having your mother come along too possibly freaked him out.
You are of an age where it is time you developed a stronger network of friends, without your mother coming along too, before you even think of dating.
Start developing your own... (read in full...)
Will I ever find love with someone? What do I need to do to find love?
Q. Hey y'all, I'm 17, I'm from a small town in the south of Missouri. I'm gay (Closeted) and my biggest fear is that I'll never find the right person in life. I know I'm young, but what if I never leave this town? What if when I turn 30 all my f...
A. 11 March 2013: Hi
I think the key is broadening your vision. The world is a big place. There are cities and communities where gay is accepted as one more variation in the scheme of life. Where you don't have to remain closeted to gain acceptance.
Start planning... (read in full...)
He and I are quite close. Do you think he's telling me he's leaving his wife?
Q. Married man at work rang my mobile whilst I was at work an he at home; I didn't know he had my number, He was very drunk and told me he needed to hear my voice and he missed me then told me he needed to tell me something. So I asked what? He sai...
A. 10 March 2013: The alcohol lowered his inhibitions. He was feeling nostalgic and maybe even guilty that he cannot be the man he thinks you need.
He's married.
Come Monday he may be too embarassed to even remember what he implied in his drunken phone call.
H... (read in full...)
How can I support my wife to consider resuming sexual relations with me? My Wife will not have sex with me and it hurts :(
Q. It's like 3:30 in the morning right now, my wife is sleeping next to me and I need to get some advice and get this off my chest. Age is a good start I think, gives people an idea of what your looking at. I'm 28, I workout and I would say I'm a at...
A. 10 March 2013: You sound like a very dedicated and sincere loving husband. And very understanding about your wife following the pregnancy.
Is there any possiblity that your wife could have some undiagnoses post-natal depression? untreated that can go on for a long... (read in full...)
Do I leave my b/f because my biological clock is ticking and he's not even close to being ready for children?
Q. My partner is five years younger than me (I'm 33, he's 28). Before we got together, I told him I was worried about the age gap as I don't think I'm willing to leave trying to have children later than 36, as I don't think it's safe. He said he wanted ...
A. 10 March 2013: If you want children in your life then the clock is approaching midnight.
Your guy may be a nice companion but he is comfortable being partially supported by you. He may or may not be ready to have children after you reach menopause, at which poin... (read in full...)
Sixteen years together, eleven years married. Is he not being thoughtful and considerate enough to me?
Q. I've been married for eleven years, together for sixteen years. We recently celebrated our anniversary which is also St Valentines day.. I never ask for anything. This This year I suggested a Northface jacket. I've not had a new coat in a good six...
A. 9 March 2013: People often take their cue from how you treat yourself.
Though in his case he is now treating you as part of the furniture. He has sunk into a rut. He is taking you for granted. And he is counting the cost of being nice to you, and that IS a bad ... (read in full...)
I love him. So why accuse me of cheating? Is he cheating? He has become controlling. Gave me no sympathy when I lost our baby.
Q. Okay my boyfriend and I started dating last June 2012. He was in California and I was from Maryland so like a long distance relationship. I already saw him though back when were 12 years old. I took a vacation in the Philippines, and since then h...
A. 8 March 2013: when the chips are down you discover who are your real friends. You are really noticing the truth of the situation. Often it is the one who complains the most their partner and alleging that their partner is cheating is when the accuser is trying to ... (read in full...)
My husband has sex with me when I'm asleep....is it rape or "silent sex"?
Q. my husband had sex with me when I was drunk and asleep - I woke up as he pulled out and was climbing off me, cleaning himself up with tissues, I have confronted him and he says he thought I was awake - there is no way he thought I was awake as we ...
A. 7 March 2013: This is a crime. That you were immobilized by any means, making it impossible to resist, and making it impossible for you to give consent means it is a crime.
And it is a crime in your country. It is not acceptable. It is abuse.
That some countrie... (read in full...)
Suddenly he's started drinking and he's not like the Bf I know. How can I stop him drinking and getting out of control?
Q. Hello, I need help with my boyfriend. Let me please explain Few days ago he went to the club with his friends and he texted me that time and spammed me with kisses. He told me he got drunk with his friends that some girls gave him alcohol and his ...
A. 3 March 2013: I grew up with alcoholic parents. And a little child cannot run away from the pain of alcoholism.
A little child (as I was) just has to put up with the fighting, the yelling, the screaming, the disarray of the home, the mess as the parents are too ... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend so much even though the relationship is hurting me in so many ways
Q. I really need help getting out a bad relationship I'm 20 years old and been with the same man since I was 14. I love him to pieces but as time goes on he's treating me worse and worse.. He puts me down with words and actions. Physically a...
A. 2 March 2013: You will need counselling to get out of this relationship because you have lost perspective and have becoming his ever-willing punching bag (both emotionally and more).
He will only be satisfied when you have lost all self respect for who you are.... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 1 March 2013: Thank you for reading the article on articles.
You Should be on the list of my favorite Articles DirtBall. You write some wonderful advice.
Not only is the article a great way to find a group of good articles I also hope it alerts people ne... (read in full...)
My life is a mess and I can't talk to girls!
Q. Ever since I'v hit puberty(15) I can't socialize, I've become very nervous and have no self-esteem. I can't even walk past strangers with some feelings of discomfort. And I can't take my eyes off hot women, but yet if they tryed to talk to me my mi...
A. 26 February 2013: your Masterclass begins. Hope you enjoy learning from all that I am about to post for you.
But first, Please get your health right first. If your parents felt a counsellor was required then it may be that you appear to be suffering from depressi... (read in full...)
What are the options to deal with our rude confrontational neighbors? They stir up trouble and it's wearing me down.
Q. Hello, I'm really confused about my neighbour. I just can't work her out! For the last 18 months the person living next to me has made my life quite difficult. We have got to a point that we have resolved some issues but I am really wary of her!...
A. 26 February 2013: Sounds like you have made every effort to offer the Olive Branch to these neighbors yet they are determined to be as disagreeable as possible.
Be prepared for the neighbor to allege that your children are not the little angels you know them to ... (read in full...)
He's kicked me and threatened to hit me. Will he improve? Is this relationship worth saving?
Q. I am in a committed relationship since 3 years and 7 months. The first 3 years we were in a LDR. Now we both stay in the same city. My bf sometimes behaves very badly with me because he feels that I control his life. I said its nothing like tha...
A. 26 February 2013: Seven flatmates had to step in to save you?
How much worse could the beating have become if there had not been seven flatmates there, to stop him from abusing you even more?
Please accept the reality, this guy is bad news and will only get wo... (read in full...)
He's kicked me and threatened to hit me. Will he improve? Is this relationship worth saving?
Q. I am in a committed relationship since 3 years and 7 months. The first 3 years we were in a LDR. Now we both stay in the same city. My bf sometimes behaves very badly with me because he feels that I control his life. I said its nothing like tha...
A. 25 February 2013: He is NOT going to improve. All he will do is get more skilled at HURTING you. Yes, to protect yourself you MUST leave him. Domestic Violence is always unacceptable. Women all over the world are killed by abusive men who claim to "love" the woman ... (read in full...)
Do relationships go into a lull? Or is something wrong?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 10 months now. We stay in contact everyday and see eachother once or twice a week. Lately though, I don't hear from him as much during the day, and I'm the one asking to make plans. He's been supe...
A. 23 February 2013: Hi
Depression is a serious and debilitating illness and should never be ignored.
Encourage him not to ignore it. And gently bring him around to considering that he at least needs to speak to a Doctor about it.
the following may help provide... (read in full...)
My girlfriend snores really loudly. How can I raise this sensitive subject, and not hurt her feelings? Because I can't get proper sleep myself in this situation.
Q. Yikes! I've got a bit of a small problem, but it's still causing me some issues. My girlfriend snores really loudly. It makes it almost impossible for me to sleep. I toss and turn. It's not pleasant, and is getting to the point where I don't wa...
A. 23 February 2013: People think snoring is only a problem because of the noise. But it can become much more serious than that. It really can become a health problem.
The snoring by your girlfriend sounds really serious.
Read up about "sleep apnoea" and then... (read in full...)
I got drunk and made out with co-worker. My husband said don't ever tell him if I cheat but I can't handle the guilt!
Q. I did something awful and I don't know what to do. I was out of town for work and was hanging out with other people in my field. We were drinking and a man who's very well known in my field started paying attention to me and I was flattered even ...
A. 17 February 2013: Time heals everything. I can understand this is clouding your judgement.
You stopped before it went any further. And considering that you had had a few drinks that took a lot of strength.
Is there anyone who has never made a mistake in their lif... (read in full...)
Has my ex husband changed or is this a threat?
Q. I have an abusive ex husband who I've recently left, and he really wants to get back together -he's out to a new place for work and has sent this to me - what does this email below mean? Has he really changed or is this a threat or why is he sending ...
A. 17 February 2013: I agree that you have received some very good advice here.
The email was all about him.
And about trying to make you think you are making a wrong decision. In effect calling into question that you dared to leave him.
And trying to tell you tha... (read in full...)
How can I incorporate a heart shaped candle into gifts for my man?
Q. My boyfriend´s birthday and our anniversary are coming up next week. Because of time and money issues, we decided to celebrate his birthday, our anniversary and also valentines the same day. I´m here to ask for advice on the gifts, I have al...
A. 16 February 2013: If you feel he would really love and use a candle then perhaps personalize it with a photo of the two of you incorporated on to the candle? or a photo of a favorite place that the two of you have visited.
here are some ideas below on how to perso... (read in full...)
How can I incorporate a heart shaped candle into gifts for my man?
Q. My boyfriend´s birthday and our anniversary are coming up next week. Because of time and money issues, we decided to celebrate his birthday, our anniversary and also valentines the same day. I´m here to ask for advice on the gifts, I have al...
A. 16 February 2013: Guys love things they need rather than things girls love that they think will demonstrate their loves.
A guy may say, Oooh a stuffed toy bear, aw thanks darling and inwardsly roll their eyes.
I think a heart shaped candle might make you feel goo... (read in full...)
Why was I ignored on Valentine's Day?
Q. My girlfriend and I currently having a long distance relationship , it transitioned to long distance only a few months ago . There is a guy where she lives that she sees often at the gym and i know they text often . Yesterday valentines day she ...
A. 16 February 2013: Things sound a little wobbly indeed.
Very convenient that he had a really bad day on Valentine's day? Could it be that he cooked her a lovely meal for Valentine's day? And they enjoyed chilling and talking and she felt too guilty to message you ... (read in full...)
Do relationships go into a lull? Or is something wrong?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 10 months now. We stay in contact everyday and see eachother once or twice a week. Lately though, I don't hear from him as much during the day, and I'm the one asking to make plans. He's been supe...
A. 16 February 2013: In just a short ten months I would still expect he's be still in the besotted stage. The first 12 to 24 month when a guy is seriously serious about a girl he can't get enough of her. Maybe working very hard and feeling under pressure could have con... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 6 February 2013: Valentine’s Day – that special time each year for lovers. To some people Valentine’s day is very very special.
To others the day passes without another thought. So often people start thinking about Valentine’s day and need some ideas or some sup... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 6 February 2013: When I see an outstanding Article I intend to add it to this resource. So I can easily find the article again in the future.
So now this resource holds 58 really Great Articles by really thoughtful and excellent Aunts and Uncles on this site.
... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship with mother and grandmother. What do I do?
Q. Hello, This is a family orientated relationship problem. I am a 30 year old female. I am in contact with my grandmother and siblings. My father and I have been estranged for 10 years with very little communication in that time. Over the p...
A. 21 January 2013: Hi,
Good to hear from you again.
Your selfish parents are never going to change, you know that. So don't allow this crisis with your brother to draw you back into the family and then see yourself back into the abusive cycles you suffered when you... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship with mother and grandmother. What do I do?
Q. Hello, This is a family orientated relationship problem. I am a 30 year old female. I am in contact with my grandmother and siblings. My father and I have been estranged for 10 years with very little communication in that time. Over the p...
A. 16 November 2012: First Congratulations with the recognition. Sounds like you deserve such recognition.
Actions: these tell intentions.
IF your grandmother was really proud of you then she would not seek to undermine you. She would make it her mission to find out... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 19 September 2012: There can always be new variations and new issues that have not yet been asked and have not yet been posted on Dear Cupid. So if you are in love with your teacher or your lecturer then DO post your NEW question please
Sometimes some addition... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 15 September 2012: Teacher Student Crushes keep on happening. Often the student wants to know if others understand their feelings
So today I thought I would create the Definitive resource on past advice on Students in love with their teacher or with a Crush on their... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 12 September 2012: Thank you anonymous, for your Recommendation for an Article that really Resonates with you, and no doubt many other readers.
And "I am here to help you" is indeed a big contributer on this site. Well spotted.
There is nothing worse than that hor... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 12 September 2012: This following question from 2010 has a response by Yos. There are 66 responses to this question on Retroactive Jealously from some amazing Aunts and Uncles in Dearcupid.org. Now Amazing Yos if you do not yet know it is, seriously, the BEST expo... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 2 September 2012: Now over 40 articles so far in this resource - the ones in the initial article at left, plus the additional articles I have added in through followups, including this new follow up.
And it is not finished yet. I am still going through lists of... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 1 September 2012: Another reason not to post an Article as Anonymous. I have been trawling through some Articles that might be almost impossible to find. Except some digging around has revealed four more articles from the past that deserve to be read again.
I cou... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 31 August 2012: Thank you So Very Confused.
I am not finished yet. Still looking for more good articles
Regards
Abella. ... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 31 August 2012: Thank you CTR
And I intend to add any article I need to find in a hurry and think might be useful in the future, be it an article published 4 years ago or 4 minutes ago
I can't guarantee to put up every article. Only the ones that I think might ... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 31 August 2012: I have just found some more articles that deserve to be added to the list of my favourites
This resource is already proving to be very useful when I go looking for that amazing article. wish I had thought of this earlier.
Here are the extra ar... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship with mother and grandmother. What do I do?
Q. Hello, This is a family orientated relationship problem. I am a 30 year old female. I am in contact with my grandmother and siblings. My father and I have been estranged for 10 years with very little communication in that time. Over the p...
A. 18 February 2012: Thank you for your beautiful follow up. Really made me feel extra good. Much appreciated and I wish you well in the future too
Regards
Abella ... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship with mother and grandmother. What do I do?
Q. Hello, This is a family orientated relationship problem. I am a 30 year old female. I am in contact with my grandmother and siblings. My father and I have been estranged for 10 years with very little communication in that time. Over the p...
A. 17 February 2012: By the way if you were 15 or 20 my advice would be different. Because you would still be learning life lesson.
And there may be more lessons to learn. But you are the one who will decide which lessons you choose to learn from, for a better f... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship with mother and grandmother. What do I do?
Q. Hello, This is a family orientated relationship problem. I am a 30 year old female. I am in contact with my grandmother and siblings. My father and I have been estranged for 10 years with very little communication in that time. Over the p...
A. 17 February 2012: First off Dump Any guilt about what ever you do decide to do in your life.
You are intelligent and capable and attractive, you do not need their approval nor their advice nor their endorsement about any of your life decisions nor your business deci... (read in full...)
| *bella's friends
These are mutual friends, so *bella has
added them and they have added *bella!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
