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"Always be Kinder than necessary"... J M Barrie

I've added some new quotes today (but also kept the earlier ones below)

And the next two quotes are from a wise Uncle on this site called BrownWolf http://www.dearcupid.org/people/brownwolf

“I very thankful for the ounce of common sense I have...because sense is not that common. :) “

"Stay away from foolish people; they have nothing to teach you."

That quote about foolish people from BrownWolf is so true. A weak person cannot be trusted. With a strong person you have more certainty, they are not afraid to stand up and be counted when they are needed.

And I especially like BrownWolf's first quote above on common sense and so I asked BrownWolf for permission to replicate it here. BrownWolf then generously offered the second quote, above, as well.

When you meet a person for the first time, then imagine they are facing their biggest challenge ever:

With this mind-set it reminds us to be kind and use empathy because we can never truly know the extent of personal challenges a person is currently facing.

Badgering a person and humiliation with unreasonable demands for "I have to know" is more likely to harm than help. We do not "have to know". Be kind. Listen carefully and remain supportive. Then the person will willingly reveal more and feel safe to reveal more again.

We can never assume that things are much easier than things are for ourselves.

It encourages one to listen carefully and employ empathy in our dealings with others.

In life we face many things. But with each challenge we can grow a little stronger. When you meet a person with great strength of character it is possible that they grew that strength as a result of some very tough obstacles and some personal tragedies.

Never underestimate such a person.

Strength does not imply brutality nor cruelty and often not even physical strength.

A truly strong person will never seek to harm another. They know their strength and they know that kindness will move mountains more easily than brutality.

Then there is one of my favourites: Sun Tzu.

The wisdom of Sun Tzu is still as fresh as the day he wrote it 4000 years ago:

“A leader leads by example not by force. “

And now some less well known quotes:

“It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections.”

by Daisaku Ikeda

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”

by Maya Angelou

“Challenges are what will make us stronger.”

by Zainab Alsaati

Respect other people's feelings. Even if it doesn't mean anything to you, it could mean everything to them. (quoted by many, but generally considered to be by 'unknown')

'As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.'.....Andrew Carnegie

I also respect the Chinese idea of "face" - there is no need to humiliate people. It demeans the one doing the demeaning. there are better ways to call a person to account with dignity. Focus on the Issue when there is a problem rather than be accusatory to the person

'Spilled water is hard to regain' (fù shu nán shou)

"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt,

kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate." .....Albert Schweitzer

'A sunny disposition is worth more than fortune.

Young people should know that it can be cultivated; that the mind like the body can be moved from the shade into sunshine'. .Andrew Carnegie

"We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds." ... Author Unknown, from A Great Life Lesson

“It always seems impossible until it's done.”... Nelson Mandella

"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." .....Mother Teresa

"Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough." .....Franklin D. Roosevelt

'Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.'...Andrew Carnegie

what's your favourite quote?

But all is not sweetness, kindness and light in this complex world.

There really are afflicted and inadequate people in this world who get their pleasure from deliberately trying to hurt others.

They do this out of an inflated sense of their importance in the scheme of things. They feel entitled to be mean to others. They have become arrogant over the years.

Yet they are not the strong individuals they think they are. Instead they are passive aggressive bullies.

There are those afflicted with traits that are so petty and unkind that one wonders what has happened to make them that way?

Their arrogance will not allow them to step back and get help for their afflictions.

Instead, like a bull in a china shop, they just keep on head butting harder and harder, using the same tactics they've been using for years to try to get their own way.

What traits cause the problems for such insecure arrogant persons with an inflated sense of entitlement?

Here are a few of the afflictions that continually cause problems in their relationships:

Negativity?

Passive Aggression?

Being Hate filled towards those they see as ''less'' than themselves = everyone?

Envy

Jealousy

For those afflicted with those horrible traits all I can feel for these tormented souls is pity that they are beset with such inadequacies and negativity.

The traits result in them concocting a lie that they are the victims, when in reality they are instead the bullies, the overly judgmental and nasty arrogant persons who enjoy hurting others.

Just feel sorry for them and their inadequate responses.

Then go forth and find things to enjoy in life. Find the positive, find ways to be supportive and kind to others. It is win win in every way on all sides.

Turn your back on cruel unkind and bitter people. Leave them to scheme alone. Their negativity causes their faces to betray their bitterness within.

Their hearts harden and they wonder why others can be so unaffected by all their schemes to hurt others. They are the losers who think their nastiness towards others is justified.

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Two months together but not "official" yet. Is he up to no good? I want to lose my virginity with him. Can you give me advice please?

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Two months together but not "official" yet. Is he up to no good? I want to lose my virginity with him. Can you give me advice please?

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My Cheating Boyfriend won't end his "affair" but I can't find the strength to leave him? How do I find the strength? What can I do?

Q.   I am 22 years old and have been dealing with a major issue in my relationship with my son's father. I have been with him for 6 years and our son is 2 years old. A little over a month ago I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me. He is 29 and ha...

A.   1 January 2013: Hi When you work on ways to improve your confidence in you will develop the confidence to do what is right for you. Right now he has worn you down. Abuse does not always result in bruises. Abuse can be psychological. which is what he is subj... (read in full...)

My LDR BF was attacked and is still recovering. I want to talk to him but can't. What can I do?

Q.   Hello and happy new year. A very unfortunate thing happened to my boyfriend when he went back to his country. He's from south africa and he came to visit me. We stay in touch mostly through social networks. Two weeks ago, when i was closing ...

A.   1 January 2013: Hi He may not be strong enough to speak yet though it would be nice if his brother would allow you speak into his ear via the phone to give your Bf some comfort. His brother probably wants to protect him as best he can. Do not directly ask... (read in full...)

A three way kiss with a guy and a girl and I has made my BF break up with me, I think. Should I get in touch with my now ex to talk things over?

Q.   Hi everyone. I'm 16 and I've been in my first relationship with a boy ever since November. Recently I have been freaking out a bit that it has been getting very intense and he really likes me and in the back of my mind I have been panicking and as...

A.   1 January 2013: He was smitten enough to ask you to be official. That's a good sign. So I think a sweet response might do the trick. But he's made his mind up based on hearsay and he should have shown more confidence in you. If he's young I can understa... (read in full...)

Two months together but not "official" yet. Is he up to no good? I want to lose my virginity with him. Can you give me advice please?

Q.   modnote: OP - People will ask so please advise in followup why you cannot obtain Birth Control in US?? Hi all, and Happy New Year! So I've been seeing this guy for about 2 months now... we're pretty much a couple even though there isn't any o...

A.   1 January 2013: Two months and he has not even felt moved to make you an official couple? Yet he's continually explored your body and even TOLD you when he wil be going all the way? Of course he is up to no good. He's had one aim right from the start and t... (read in full...)

Nauseated after rough sex

Q.   I was just wondering if this has happend to anyone. My bf just got out of jail and we had rough sex, but since then I feel so nauseated and dont knw why.. Plz help.....

A.   1 January 2013: True 24 hours later is too early to get morning sickness, so i agree it is not that. But not too early to get a Sexually transmitted disease. Get it checked out pronto. Your Doctor can give you a blood test to check for it. Sexually transmit... (read in full...)

Nauseated after rough sex

Q.   I was just wondering if this has happend to anyone. My bf just got out of jail and we had rough sex, but since then I feel so nauseated and dont knw why.. Plz help.....

A.   1 January 2013: Hi Please keep in mind that even if you enjoyed the rough sex in any way that rough sex can escalate to even rougher sex if the man thinks he has your approval to be even rougher the next time. Sometimes rough sex can go too far and the woman ca... (read in full...)

Nauseated after rough sex

Q.   I was just wondering if this has happend to anyone. My bf just got out of jail and we had rough sex, but since then I feel so nauseated and dont knw why.. Plz help.....

A.   1 January 2013: Going to jail has affected him. He was not with you, instead he was surrounded by many men. The experience may have resulted in many emotions with him. Disbelief that he was in jail, anger that he had found himself there. Resentment that his ... (read in full...)

I got pregnant from a drunken night with my ex and he doesn't want me to have the baby!

Q.   I broke up with my ex at the start of the year a few months later I met another man, things with him seemed great at first but quickly got worse as we were both still hung up on our ex's. Things came to an end but we stayed in touch and about a ...

A.   31 December 2012: Hi I have to agree about the lack of father involvement part. I have seen children whose father's were violent and mean and nasty and eventually walked out on the young mother. A few years later the children asked about their father but the fath... (read in full...)

I thought we were in love, but she was out cheating on me!

Q.   I am a lesbian, and my girlfriend of 3 years, I just found out has been cheating on me , she's moved in with the other women a block away from me and they got married today!! All in 6 weeks!! And they say they are soul mates!!! How would you feel ...

A.   31 December 2012:  It would make me feel exceeedingly betrayed and I would be very very hurt if this had been done to me. Temporarily it would shatter my confidence and shatter my belief in my ability to 'read' people. After three years one usually knows ju... (read in full...)

I got pregnant from a drunken night with my ex and he doesn't want me to have the baby!

Q.   I broke up with my ex at the start of the year a few months later I met another man, things with him seemed great at first but quickly got worse as we were both still hung up on our ex's. Things came to an end but we stayed in touch and about a ...

A.   30 December 2012: hi, It's your body and the baby is growing within you. If he wants no part of the baby then you'll probably end up registering the baby with 'father not stated' if he refuses to acknowledge the baby. If that is the case you can take him to Cour... (read in full...)

10 Situations that Scream, "He's a Player!"

Q.   Happy New Year! I hope all of you enjoyed a very Happy New year and that you have stuck to the resolutions that you made during this period. I simply hope that your resolution for the New Year wasn't to give up on men because by condemning all men ...

A.   13 June 2011: Once again I need to refer this Great Article to an OP. Anonymousmale1 thankfully I always remember your name - making it easier for me to find this and your other great articles. Anonymousmale1 you contribute really great expertise to this sit... (read in full...)

10 Situations that Scream, "He's a Player!"

Q.   Happy New Year! I hope all of you enjoyed a very Happy New year and that you have stuck to the resolutions that you made during this period. I simply hope that your resolution for the New Year wasn't to give up on men because by condemning all men ...

A.   17 May 2011: I am recommending this fantastic article to an OP along with several of your other articles. You continue to provide a wonderful resource in Dear Cupid with great articles in DC like this one Thank you for your great advice Regards Abella... (read in full...)

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