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... Send *bella a private message | | | *bella's profile:"Always be Kinder than necessary"... J M Barrie
I've added some new quotes today (but also kept the earlier ones below)
And the next two quotes are from a wise Uncle on this site called BrownWolf http://www.dearcupid.org/people/brownwolf
“I very thankful for the ounce of common sense I have...because sense is not that common. :) “
"Stay away from foolish people; they have nothing to teach you."
That quote about foolish people from BrownWolf is so true. A weak person cannot be trusted. With a strong person you have more certainty, they are not afraid to stand up and be counted when they are needed.
And I especially like BrownWolf's first quote above on common sense and so I asked BrownWolf for permission to replicate it here. BrownWolf then generously offered the second quote, above, as well.
When you meet a person for the first time, then imagine they are facing their biggest challenge ever:
With this mind-set it reminds us to be kind and use empathy because we can never truly know the extent of personal challenges a person is currently facing.
Badgering a person and humiliation with unreasonable demands for "I have to know" is more likely to harm than help. We do not "have to know". Be kind. Listen carefully and remain supportive. Then the person will willingly reveal more and feel safe to reveal more again.
We can never assume that things are much easier than things are for ourselves.
It encourages one to listen carefully and employ empathy in our dealings with others.
In life we face many things. But with each challenge we can grow a little stronger. When you meet a person with great strength of character it is possible that they grew that strength as a result of some very tough obstacles and some personal tragedies.
Never underestimate such a person.
Strength does not imply brutality nor cruelty and often not even physical strength.
A truly strong person will never seek to harm another. They know their strength and they know that kindness will move mountains more easily than brutality.
Then there is one of my favourites: Sun Tzu.
The wisdom of Sun Tzu is still as fresh as the day he wrote it 4000 years ago:
“A leader leads by example not by force. “
And now some less well known quotes:
“It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections.”
by Daisaku Ikeda
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
by Maya Angelou
“Challenges are what will make us stronger.”
by Zainab Alsaati
Respect other people's feelings. Even if it doesn't mean anything to you, it could mean everything to them. (quoted by many, but generally considered to be by 'unknown')
'As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.'.....Andrew Carnegie
I also respect the Chinese idea of "face" - there is no need to humiliate people. It demeans the one doing the demeaning. there are better ways to call a person to account with dignity. Focus on the Issue when there is a problem rather than be accusatory to the person
'Spilled water is hard to regain' (fù shu nán shou)
"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt,
kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate." .....Albert Schweitzer
'A sunny disposition is worth more than fortune.
Young people should know that it can be cultivated; that the mind like the body can be moved from the shade into sunshine'. .Andrew Carnegie
"We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds." ... Author Unknown, from A Great Life Lesson
“It always seems impossible until it's done.”... Nelson Mandella
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." .....Mother Teresa
"Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough." .....Franklin D. Roosevelt
'Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.'...Andrew Carnegie
what's your favourite quote?
But all is not sweetness, kindness and light in this complex world.
There really are afflicted and inadequate people in this world who get their pleasure from deliberately trying to hurt others.
They do this out of an inflated sense of their importance in the scheme of things. They feel entitled to be mean to others. They have become arrogant over the years.
Yet they are not the strong individuals they think they are. Instead they are passive aggressive bullies.
There are those afflicted with traits that are so petty and unkind that one wonders what has happened to make them that way?
Their arrogance will not allow them to step back and get help for their afflictions.
Instead, like a bull in a china shop, they just keep on head butting harder and harder, using the same tactics they've been using for years to try to get their own way.
What traits cause the problems for such insecure arrogant persons with an inflated sense of entitlement?
Here are a few of the afflictions that continually cause problems in their relationships:
Negativity?
Passive Aggression?
Being Hate filled towards those they see as ''less'' than themselves = everyone?
Envy
Jealousy
For those afflicted with those horrible traits all I can feel for these tormented souls is pity that they are beset with such inadequacies and negativity.
The traits result in them concocting a lie that they are the victims, when in reality they are instead the bullies, the overly judgmental and nasty arrogant persons who enjoy hurting others.
Just feel sorry for them and their inadequate responses.
Then go forth and find things to enjoy in life. Find the positive, find ways to be supportive and kind to others. It is win win in every way on all sides.
Turn your back on cruel unkind and bitter people. Leave them to scheme alone. Their negativity causes their faces to betray their bitterness within.
Their hearts harden and they wonder why others can be so unaffected by all their schemes to hurt others. They are the losers who think their nastiness towards others is justified. |
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22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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A. 29 July 2016: and my list of Great Articles written by others needs an addition and here it is:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/just-some-fun.html
A little humour goes a long way.
The above article was published in 2008 and was written by one of th... (read in full...)
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http://www.dearcupid.org/question/wanted:-your-input-on-dearcupidorg.html
Great t... (read in full...)
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A. 24 January 2016: This Article is Gold and deserves to be sitting alongside the other star articles, even though it is not an article. But with 70 plus responses I think it qualifies as an article on what you would like to see developed on the dearcupid site. Histo... (read in full...)
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A. 15 August 2015: this is not an article but it is a gorgeous answer that Missy_25 wrote in reply to a poster.
Missy_25 answered the following question - and her answer is worth pinning up somewhere prominent at home. Her advice was AAA all stars and I loved it... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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A. 21 May 2015: Dating tips. Thanks to a fairly new poster commenting on the following post I would see that this great contribution deserved to be in this compilation.
So here it is:
Need to think of some questions to ask on a date?
Below is a great list o... (read in full...)
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A. 12 April 2015: Well I just realized that GeeGee255 's article is so good that I have recommended it twice. That's what happens to really good articles. They are enduring. Wise advice is worth sharing with others.
And dearcupid.org certainly does have a lot of w... (read in full...)
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A. 12 April 2015: GeeGee is a wise Aunt with three sons and some amazing life experience. She started dispensing advice at age 13 and is now a very busy grandmother. I've let her know that I thought her post was really relevant to teens today and so I am highlighting ... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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A. 2 March 2015: Relationships - it's not plain sailing sometimes.
Now the following is not from an article. But the answer from very wise Uncle wiseowle was so good to this question below that I am including the post in this compilation of really Great arti... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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One of the Uncles: mfj78 has written here:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/the-perills-of-looking-young.html
I love articles that really demonstrate a key is... (read in full...)
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Today I am adding a guide o teen dating w... (read in full...)
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It is about DATING TIPS and deserves to be here with the Best
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/first-date-tips.html
Although it started off as a question it is so good that the ans... (read in full...)
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A. 28 June 2014: Online dating: Thank you Mark1978
I just added an article by Mark1978 to my list of TOP articles.
Mark1978 has just created this excellent article on online dating.
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22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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A. 29 May 2013: This compilation is so useful.
I just recommended three articles celebrated within this Article.
You can find out which articles I just recommended by clicking on to the link below.
My responses to the question below are all about datings. a... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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A. 1 March 2013: Thank you for reading the article on articles.
You Should be on the list of my favorite Articles DirtBall. You write some wonderful advice.
Not only is the article a great way to find a group of good articles I also hope it alerts people ne... (read in full...)
Do relationships go into a lull? Or is something wrong?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 10 months now. We stay in contact everyday and see eachother once or twice a week. Lately though, I don't hear from him as much during the day, and I'm the one asking to make plans. He's been supe...
A. 23 February 2013: Hi
Depression is a serious and debilitating illness and should never be ignored.
Encourage him not to ignore it. And gently bring him around to considering that he at least needs to speak to a Doctor about it.
the following may help provide... (read in full...)
Why was I ignored on Valentine's Day?
Q. My girlfriend and I currently having a long distance relationship , it transitioned to long distance only a few months ago . There is a guy where she lives that she sees often at the gym and i know they text often . Yesterday valentines day she ...
A. 16 February 2013: Things sound a little wobbly indeed.
Very convenient that he had a really bad day on Valentine's day? Could it be that he cooked her a lovely meal for Valentine's day? And they enjoyed chilling and talking and she felt too guilty to message you ... (read in full...)
What happened here on Dear Cupid, guys? What's so bad about trying to fix a relationship rather than just jumping immediately to divorce?
Q. I've been coming on this site since I was 16 and used to get great, friendly advice on how I should handle my relationship problems. I came here looking first solution to fix things. I don't know what happened in the past three years, but friendly ...
A. 16 February 2013: If there are just issues to work through I am all for the relationship to be worked on. If there are things to addressed that are fixable then yes I think couples counselling or any other therapy that will improve things is a great idea.
But I... (read in full...)
Do relationships go into a lull? Or is something wrong?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 10 months now. We stay in contact everyday and see eachother once or twice a week. Lately though, I don't hear from him as much during the day, and I'm the one asking to make plans. He's been supe...
A. 16 February 2013: In just a short ten months I would still expect he's be still in the besotted stage. The first 12 to 24 month when a guy is seriously serious about a girl he can't get enough of her. Maybe working very hard and feeling under pressure could have con... (read in full...)
What makes for a successful relationship?
Q. What are the attributes you look in a relationship that it will work. What make relationships successful and what things to look as traits that make it worthy and long lasting?? I am hurt and being cheated upon so I need help to find the ri...
A. 16 February 2013: I am really pleased that you are getting some great answers to your question.
JadedPearl added some good thoughts in her follow up to this article about the same issues you are asking about.
http:... (read in full...)
How do I end this love, which I discovered is not "love" at all?
Q. Dear agony aunts I have been feeling very miserable for 2 weeks now, and I'm afraid I have no more tears to spare. I have been in a relationship with my bf for one year now, and I have loved him for 2 years. What I thought was love, appare...
A. 16 February 2013: What you described is classic Abusive Domestic Violence Abuser.
Please see the model of the cycle of abuse I posted.
All abusers seem too good to be true at the start.
Controlling = abusive. And it will get worse.
An abuser does... (read in full...)
Mother issues. Do I seek a Mediator? Or remain distant from her while this detachment eats away at me?
Q. Recently my mom and I got into a hostile disagreement because I would not allow her to do something to help me. I wouldn't allow it because I knew it would hurt her financially and she turned on me over that. We have always had a volatile rel...
A. 16 February 2013: I think building some additional resilience into you first would be a good option.
A mother like yours has probably been like this most of her life. She feels entitled to push everyone to the limit until she gets her own way. Compromise is not in h... (read in full...)
How do I end this love, which I discovered is not "love" at all?
Q. Dear agony aunts I have been feeling very miserable for 2 weeks now, and I'm afraid I have no more tears to spare. I have been in a relationship with my bf for one year now, and I have loved him for 2 years. What I thought was love, appare...
A. 16 February 2013: I also think it would help you to discover that the Abuse cycle will just get worse and worse over time.
There is help out there that you can access
HOTLINES - US National Domestic Violence Hotline
• MAIN NUMBER 1-800-799-7233
• New York 1-800-... (read in full...)
How do I end this love, which I discovered is not "love" at all?
Q. Dear agony aunts I have been feeling very miserable for 2 weeks now, and I'm afraid I have no more tears to spare. I have been in a relationship with my bf for one year now, and I have loved him for 2 years. What I thought was love, appare...
A. 16 February 2013: For the sake of your self esteem and your long term health you need to get some urgent counselling to help you negotiate the mine-field of leaving this abusive sick boyfriend.
He is an abusive bully and he will not be satisfied until he has dest... (read in full...)
My annoying brother is clinging to mum....
Q. Dear cupid im not sure if this is the right place to share my worries but since i have been here before and have gotten relationship advice before i feel this is the best place to speak my heart out. Right now im studying part time and only at...
A. 16 February 2013: I am wondering if your brother has a illness or a medical condition? Maybe make an appointment with your own Doctor to voice your concerns and find out what are your options?
Because your mother may enjoy being "needed" by her very dependan... (read in full...)
Agony Aunts/Uncles need to open their hearts and minds rather than judging
Q. I wrote in yesterday and got a lot of very negative and hurtful comments from so-called agony aunts on here who seemed to think they know all about my relationship when they have never met me or my girlfriend. I wrote back to defend myself but ...
A. 16 February 2013: This has been a theme I have seen recently in several posts. And it is worrying. People come here for advice. Not to be charged with being a faker or a troll. Not to be told they are too young to know grief. I can assure you that even a three year ... (read in full...)
Its been 4 years but I want closure. Should I contact him?
Q. Hey, I was really attracted to a celebrity(about 5 years ago). I would watch all his movies,I thought he was really good looking. He was pretty active on a social networking sight we started talking,then we exchanged emails,spoke on msn messenge...
A. 16 February 2013: Hi
You have contact with some time ago and no doubt since then his life has moved on at some pace.
I am sorry you have suffered some grief at losing contact. We can grieve many things, not just grieve due to a death, but instead grieve over any... (read in full...)
My wife wants to have a child, I dont. What should we do?
Q. I’m 31 year old man and I’m having a trouble in my marriage. My wife ( she's 32) wants a child, I don’t. We are married for 4 years. We discussed this subject many times before our marriage. I told her I never want to have children and asked whether ...
A. 15 February 2013: I am so very very sorry you are either facing the end of your marriage, or your wife (if she stays with you) is facing the permanent destruction of her dream of having a child evapourate. The latter will change your wife and could cause her ... (read in full...)
I wouldn't send my love interest an intimate photo so he broke up. Should we stay friends, as he is suggesting?
Q. I met a man on facebook about 5 months ago. We have never met in real life. But we are very close to each other. We have shared everything about our past--his ex's and my ex. I told him about my ex, who blackmails me with pics that he had taken of ...
A. 12 February 2013: He definitely does NOT deserve another minute of your time.
He tried to re-victimize you and his behavior is scurrilous and disgusting.
Do not give another chance to try to manipulate you.
And here is a lesson to remember in the future: prot... (read in full...)
What can I do about my grandma showing up at our house all the time?
Q. I'm living with my father, because of my parents recent divorce (I'm ok with it, I could see it coming for a loooong time). My dad and I were alone, we needed to learn how to do the stuff my mom usually did - making soup, for example. So we k...
A. 11 February 2013: Hi
She obviously needs to be needed. And your Mom is no doubt very glad that her own mother is leaving her alone.
But she seems to be over-stepping the mark, and she's not one to take a hint.
Time to tackle this very VERY firmly with your... (read in full...)
I lost my virginity to him, but now it seems he's ready to move on. Do you think he is breaking up with me?
Q. My boyfriend and dated for two and half months. I loved him and thought he loved me and I lost my virginity to him the second month and three weeks later he sends me a message saying he hasn't been feeling hisself lately and that he is overwhelmed ...
A. 11 February 2013: Just because you succumbed and gave your virginity to this ungrateful guy does not mean you need to replicate that experience with the next guy.
Next time you meet a nice guy hold off on even kissing at first Ia guy cannot wait for a kiss until yo... (read in full...)
Should I be the one to deal with my Bf's ex Gf? And if so, then how?
Q. Hello, I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year now. The thing is, he's got this psycho girlfriend who he had been with for 2 years. She kept contacting him anonymously (putting her phone number in private and call him and just stay there a...
A. 9 February 2013: hi
Thank you for the follow up.
You mentioned that he had been with this girl for TWO YEARS.
If she had been a one night stand or he had known her for only a month then I would not be posing the following questions.
He was with her for... (read in full...)
I cannot match what he spent on me for my Birthday. So what should I consider instead for his B'day that would still be meaningful to him?
Q. This isn't one of the most important questions, but basically, my boyfriend bought me a £120 tiffanys necklace for my 16th birthday, its the most expensive thing anyone has ever bought me. His birthday is coming up at the end of this month, and w...
A. 9 February 2013: I don't think you have to match the present in $value.
what you can do is choose something unique and special that only you could give.
Suggestion (1)
You write well. Think about a poem written by you for him, expressing all he means to you.
... (read in full...)
Should I be the one to deal with my Bf's ex Gf? And if so, then how?
Q. Hello, I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year now. The thing is, he's got this psycho girlfriend who he had been with for 2 years. She kept contacting him anonymously (putting her phone number in private and call him and just stay there a...
A. 9 February 2013: Is your Bf telling you he's forgotten her name? The place where she lives? Where she went to school?
Anything personal about her at all?
What was he? Blindfolded during the relationship?
Google her. Look at her Facebook page. She is findable if ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has had money troubles and now he wants to transfer my name over onto his bills. Why? Is he just using me?
Q. My boyfriend has had quite a few financial troubles in his past, and has had a few court cases in which people owed him money and vice versa. He seems to be paranoid and wants his name off a lot of things. For instance, he has a mailbox in anoth...
A. 9 February 2013: Depends what level of SAD you want to achieve.
SAD = SEXUALLY ACQUIRED DEBT.
This man cannot handle money and finance. At age 40 and 50 and 60 and beyond he will have NO money.
His life will never amount to anything because no matter how much ... (read in full...)
My husband masturbates 5-6 times a week but cant get me pregnant!
Q. [Mod Note: Please give more information. Do you use protection? Are you trying for a baby? Has he been to the doctors? How often do you have sex? How often does he masturbate? Have you talked to him about this? More information will help you get ...
A. 8 February 2013: Has your husband been honest about his previous medical history? For instance could he have already had a vasectomy?
Or could he have had fertility issues in a previous relationship?
Has he taken illicit drugs in the past? Does he smoke cigarett... (read in full...)
My sister is ill with a serious mental illness. I want the sister I know to return. How do others cope with a loved one with this illness?
Q. my sister is schizophrenic, in the last two months she has relapsed, she wont talk to me or family. It is hard explaining this to outsiders, but it feels like she is not here anymore (the way she was). You watch soaps, and in soaps where peopl...
A. 7 February 2013: Hi, I am not sure which country you are (Accurate Flags, when posting a question, help people give you better advice) however when I read your question it took me back to when my first husband's illness first became evident to me. It's not all that ... (read in full...)
Is it legal to be with your "First Cousin, Once Removed"?
Q. I was just wondering if it was legal to be with your "First Cousin, Once Remeoved"? You see I'm in love with him and he doesn't know yet. I plan to tell him though. However I don't know about my question...I thought for the longest time that he was ...
A. 7 February 2013: It all depends on where you live
And in some countries where cousin marriage and cousins once removed marriages are very common there is an increased level of birth defects. = see last link at the end of this answer
COUSIN marriages in USA... (read in full...)
Struggling with the maintenance payments to my ex and worried about losing my girlfriend over this!
Q. Hi has anyone been in my situation? Any advice? I have been divorced 6 years and pay maintenance to ex and for 1 child, but in past 3 years changes at work meant no raise and no bonuses for that time-I've looked for another job but nothing yet. I ...
A. 6 February 2013: Child Maintenance can be a huge pressure on the parent who is not the main carer of the child. And I am very sorry that you are facing these huge pressures.
Can you have your child stay over more often? Because the more interest you show in your ... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 6 February 2013: Valentine’s Day – that special time each year for lovers. To some people Valentine’s day is very very special.
To others the day passes without another thought. So often people start thinking about Valentine’s day and need some ideas or some sup... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 6 February 2013: When I see an outstanding Article I intend to add it to this resource. So I can easily find the article again in the future.
So now this resource holds 58 really Great Articles by really thoughtful and excellent Aunts and Uncles on this site.
... (read in full...)
Being A Good Agony Aunt or Uncle
Q. I have been reading comments and feedback from agony aunts and uncles to queries and questions posted by OPs. Some of the advice, opinions, comments and feedback are encouraging, motivating and insightful But nonetheless many are very negative, j...
A. 6 February 2013: To me the DearCupid.org guidelines seem completely reasonable and well worth re-reading from time to time.
And help to encourage good practice on this wonderful site.
I find text speak difficult to read. I can text fast, yet I like using whole... (read in full...)
Being A Good Agony Aunt or Uncle
Q. I have been reading comments and feedback from agony aunts and uncles to queries and questions posted by OPs. Some of the advice, opinions, comments and feedback are encouraging, motivating and insightful But nonetheless many are very negative, j...
A. 6 February 2013: I read this article and thought, ah, I think along these lines on occasions. I do think ,many many Aunts and Uncles go to great lengths to give very good answers. And with over a million answers there are going to be a percentage that will be ... (read in full...)
We have children. He smokes weed and drinks a lot. Will he ever change? All his money goes on his lifestyle and we struggle at the best of times
Q. I guess like a lot of girls do, I thought I could change my boyfriend. He smokes weed and drinks a lot. His friends are no good and he doesn't look after me or our children as he should. I don't work as my youngest is 3 weeks old, and my olde...
A. 6 February 2013: And if you don't live in Ireland then my answer will just demonstrate why using the right flag ensures more accurate answers.
... (read in full...)
We have children. He smokes weed and drinks a lot. Will he ever change? All his money goes on his lifestyle and we struggle at the best of times
Q. I guess like a lot of girls do, I thought I could change my boyfriend. He smokes weed and drinks a lot. His friends are no good and he doesn't look after me or our children as he should. I don't work as my youngest is 3 weeks old, and my olde...
A. 6 February 2013: First of all I think the environment for you and your children is potentially abusive for you and your children. He spends all his available money on his perceived needs – including weed and alcohol. This is irresponsible and potentially dangerous ... (read in full...)
At 26 is this too early to be already be noticing the signs of ageing? Why would this already be happening?
Q. My looks have started changing noticeably and I'm only 26, I noticed at 25 they were going. I don't drink much and I don't smoke. I have noticed my jaw line has changed my eyes have gone littler and my skin has lost elasticity around them. My che...
A. 6 February 2013: Things that can cause premature ageing are:
Spending too much time in strong sun - have you spent holidays in sunny places?
Not eating healthily. Do you have more vegetables on your plate? Do you eat too many fatty foods? Do you eat too many... (read in full...)
Other than a credit card? How to purchase sex toys without the small town bank staff knowing what I purchased?
Q. Hi! Very childish question here, but Im worried. Its a very miniscule problem but I am looking to purchase some "bedroom toys" but Im worried that if I use my debit card the bank will see my purchase! I live in an extremely small town Im taking ...
A. 5 February 2013: Forget about a credit card - use Paypal. Your Bank cannot see what you buy via Paypal. And I sure they will post it in a discreet package. Otherwise next time you visit a larger city buy it for cash and bring it home buried down at the bottom of ... (read in full...)
Are relationships that exist with absolutely NO violence towards one another?
Q. Aunts and Uncles... Have any of you (honest answers please) had a physical fight with your current spouse? I just want to know if there are relationships that exist with absolutely NO violence towards one another. Again, please be honest. Th...
A. 3 February 2013: I am so anti- violence that as a result i know that I would walk from the relationship the same hour and day a man first ever tried to physically or verbally abuse me.
I like things peaceful and respectful. We deal with anything within the same... (read in full...)
My boyfriend makes plans and then can't keep them claiming that he has forgotten. This happens all the time!
Q. I am 27 and I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. The problem is he always forgets about plans we make and ends up cancelling on me at the last minute. For example, months ago we were invited out to a meal for my friend's birthday which is ...
A. 2 February 2013: You are not over-reacting at all. He is disorganized and easily distracted. His memory must be like a sieve. How does he ever expect to run a business (his music business)professionally, if he cannot keep track of what he is required to do and where ... (read in full...)
What are the attributes and conditions for a successful relationship that works? And what hinders the development of a successful relationship?
Q. I would be intersted to hear from others on what attributes and qualities represent essentials in a successful relationship. And what are deal breakers that can ruin a relationship? By a successful relationship I mean one where both parties a...
A. 2 February 2013: Thank you for your follow up. JadePearl I read your profile and I think your wisdom and understanding is obvious
I loved the pointers you mentioned. Your response was awesome and beyond even what I had been hoping for.... (read in full...)
Help me escape my emotionally abusive father
Q. Hello all, I live with my father and I'm eighteen. I suffer with incredibly bad anxiety and depression caused by both of my parents and my long term ex boyfriend (we were together for four years) which renders me completely non-independant ...
A. 2 February 2013: So basically, although you are aware of the supported transitional accomodation I am referring to in the UK I think you may be under-estimating the good this accomodation would provide for you.
It would give you the breathing space to find out... (read in full...)
Help me escape my emotionally abusive father
Q. Hello all, I live with my father and I'm eighteen. I suffer with incredibly bad anxiety and depression caused by both of my parents and my long term ex boyfriend (we were together for four years) which renders me completely non-independant ...
A. 2 February 2013: please try to visit your nearest Citizen's Advice Bureau (CAB) in the United Kingdom (UK) as I think they will be able to help you. Because I think your situation may help you qualify for Emergency assistance to escape what is an intolerable ... (read in full...)
I feel more like I have a child than a relationship and my ex is always on my mind!
Q. Hey everyone, I completely forgot I had an account on here. It seemed everything was going all right for me (finally!) but of course nothing good seems to last forever. And sorry about this post, it's probably going to be long. But I need help. . ...
A. 1 February 2013: the guy who sits at home doing nothing? You are his Indulgent 'Mommy'. No wonder that relationship is doomed in every way.
And if you, his indulgent 'Mommy,' leaves the relationship? He will get a job and learn to stand on his own two feet. But he c... (read in full...)
He just cheats on me spirtually every 2 months, but defends himself saying he enjoys being a player...should I marry him?
Q. My boyfriend of 7 month now is driving me crazy with the childishness he do frequently, and by "drives me crazy" i mean insecure! -he is great in bed, if we have free time of 5 hours we simply did it for four hours, like 3 times or so! -very ten...
A. 1 February 2013: Hi you are under no obligation to provide a valentine gift.
You might even prefer to be indisposed such that you can't see him for sex. It is a bit of a worry that you have to still work through for another three weeks. Hope the office grap... (read in full...)
Why do people have to make comments that are hurtful?
Q. Dear Cupid, The other night I was talking to this guy that I know fairly well but is still considered an acquaintance. We were texting and he asked "why do you wear so much makeup? Not to say you look bad but i'm sure you're pretty naturally...
A. 30 January 2013: I think he was, in a fumbling way, trying to tell you that he thinks you're naturally pretty. And he'd like to see you with a ''less is more'' approach to makeup.
Some guys find the whole array of blush, mascara, eye makeup, applied lip stick, g... (read in full...)
Does barely legal porn set a trigger for middle-aged men when young teenage girls come into their visual range
Q. My boyfriend of 51 years of age likes Barely Legal Porn. That is the only type of porn he likes. He buys the cd's and also the Barely Legal Magazines. He tags the magazine pages with sticky notes of the young girls that he likes. What I have no...
A. 30 January 2013: I think I would give this guy a very very wide birth.
If he continues this fascination and takes it one step further you may not like what you see. He has a serious problem. I would not want to be within 100 miles of a man who behaves this way arou... (read in full...)
Cheating:( How do guys keep their girlfriend from cheating?
Q. How do you keep your girl from cheating? Please i am asking for a range of different answers, so please give me your opinion on whats the best way to keep a partner faithful, or atleast, what actions can a guy do, to keep her girl from seeking ...
A. 30 January 2013: when a person cheats it is not 'caused' by the partner who has suffered a cheating partner.
You can be the most wonderful, amazing in every way partner, and if you are suffering a partner who is cheating then the problem is with the cheater, not ... (read in full...)
He just cheats on me spirtually every 2 months, but defends himself saying he enjoys being a player...should I marry him?
Q. My boyfriend of 7 month now is driving me crazy with the childishness he do frequently, and by "drives me crazy" i mean insecure! -he is great in bed, if we have free time of 5 hours we simply did it for four hours, like 3 times or so! -very ten...
A. 29 January 2013: He's snared you in his web and you can't see a way to extricate yourself from his poisoned trap. But you're feeling uneasy. His pleading, presents and play-acting is very dramatic. It's a well-practised game. He's loves all the drama. He plays up... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 19 September 2012: There can always be new variations and new issues that have not yet been asked and have not yet been posted on Dear Cupid. So if you are in love with your teacher or your lecturer then DO post your NEW question please
Sometimes some addition... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 15 September 2012: Teacher Student Crushes keep on happening. Often the student wants to know if others understand their feelings
So today I thought I would create the Definitive resource on past advice on Students in love with their teacher or with a Crush on their... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 12 September 2012: Thank you anonymous, for your Recommendation for an Article that really Resonates with you, and no doubt many other readers.
And "I am here to help you" is indeed a big contributer on this site. Well spotted.
There is nothing worse than that hor... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 12 September 2012: This following question from 2010 has a response by Yos. There are 66 responses to this question on Retroactive Jealously from some amazing Aunts and Uncles in Dearcupid.org. Now Amazing Yos if you do not yet know it is, seriously, the BEST expo... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 2 September 2012: Now over 40 articles so far in this resource - the ones in the initial article at left, plus the additional articles I have added in through followups, including this new follow up.
And it is not finished yet. I am still going through lists of... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 1 September 2012: Another reason not to post an Article as Anonymous. I have been trawling through some Articles that might be almost impossible to find. Except some digging around has revealed four more articles from the past that deserve to be read again.
I cou... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 31 August 2012: Thank you So Very Confused.
I am not finished yet. Still looking for more good articles
Regards
Abella. ... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 31 August 2012: Thank you CTR
And I intend to add any article I need to find in a hurry and think might be useful in the future, be it an article published 4 years ago or 4 minutes ago
I can't guarantee to put up every article. Only the ones that I think might ... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 31 August 2012: I have just found some more articles that deserve to be added to the list of my favourites
This resource is already proving to be very useful when I go looking for that amazing article. wish I had thought of this earlier.
Here are the extra ar... (read in full...)
| *bella's friends
These are mutual friends, so *bella has
added them and they have added *bella!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
