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... Send *bella a private message | | | *bella's profile:"Always be Kinder than necessary"... J M Barrie
I've added some new quotes today (but also kept the earlier ones below)
And the next two quotes are from a wise Uncle on this site called BrownWolf http://www.dearcupid.org/people/brownwolf
“I very thankful for the ounce of common sense I have...because sense is not that common. :) “
"Stay away from foolish people; they have nothing to teach you."
That quote about foolish people from BrownWolf is so true. A weak person cannot be trusted. With a strong person you have more certainty, they are not afraid to stand up and be counted when they are needed.
And I especially like BrownWolf's first quote above on common sense and so I asked BrownWolf for permission to replicate it here. BrownWolf then generously offered the second quote, above, as well.
When you meet a person for the first time, then imagine they are facing their biggest challenge ever:
With this mind-set it reminds us to be kind and use empathy because we can never truly know the extent of personal challenges a person is currently facing.
Badgering a person and humiliation with unreasonable demands for "I have to know" is more likely to harm than help. We do not "have to know". Be kind. Listen carefully and remain supportive. Then the person will willingly reveal more and feel safe to reveal more again.
We can never assume that things are much easier than things are for ourselves.
It encourages one to listen carefully and employ empathy in our dealings with others.
In life we face many things. But with each challenge we can grow a little stronger. When you meet a person with great strength of character it is possible that they grew that strength as a result of some very tough obstacles and some personal tragedies.
Never underestimate such a person.
Strength does not imply brutality nor cruelty and often not even physical strength.
A truly strong person will never seek to harm another. They know their strength and they know that kindness will move mountains more easily than brutality.
Then there is one of my favourites: Sun Tzu.
The wisdom of Sun Tzu is still as fresh as the day he wrote it 4000 years ago:
“A leader leads by example not by force. “
And now some less well known quotes:
“It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections.”
by Daisaku Ikeda
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
by Maya Angelou
“Challenges are what will make us stronger.”
by Zainab Alsaati
Respect other people's feelings. Even if it doesn't mean anything to you, it could mean everything to them. (quoted by many, but generally considered to be by 'unknown')
'As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.'.....Andrew Carnegie
I also respect the Chinese idea of "face" - there is no need to humiliate people. It demeans the one doing the demeaning. there are better ways to call a person to account with dignity. Focus on the Issue when there is a problem rather than be accusatory to the person
'Spilled water is hard to regain' (fù shu nán shou)
"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt,
kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate." .....Albert Schweitzer
'A sunny disposition is worth more than fortune.
Young people should know that it can be cultivated; that the mind like the body can be moved from the shade into sunshine'. .Andrew Carnegie
"We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds." ... Author Unknown, from A Great Life Lesson
“It always seems impossible until it's done.”... Nelson Mandella
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." .....Mother Teresa
"Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough." .....Franklin D. Roosevelt
'Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.'...Andrew Carnegie
what's your favourite quote?
But all is not sweetness, kindness and light in this complex world.
There really are afflicted and inadequate people in this world who get their pleasure from deliberately trying to hurt others.
They do this out of an inflated sense of their importance in the scheme of things. They feel entitled to be mean to others. They have become arrogant over the years.
Yet they are not the strong individuals they think they are. Instead they are passive aggressive bullies.
There are those afflicted with traits that are so petty and unkind that one wonders what has happened to make them that way?
Their arrogance will not allow them to step back and get help for their afflictions.
Instead, like a bull in a china shop, they just keep on head butting harder and harder, using the same tactics they've been using for years to try to get their own way.
What traits cause the problems for such insecure arrogant persons with an inflated sense of entitlement?
Here are a few of the afflictions that continually cause problems in their relationships:
Negativity?
Passive Aggression?
Being Hate filled towards those they see as ''less'' than themselves = everyone?
Envy
Jealousy
For those afflicted with those horrible traits all I can feel for these tormented souls is pity that they are beset with such inadequacies and negativity.
The traits result in them concocting a lie that they are the victims, when in reality they are instead the bullies, the overly judgmental and nasty arrogant persons who enjoy hurting others.
Just feel sorry for them and their inadequate responses.
Then go forth and find things to enjoy in life. Find the positive, find ways to be supportive and kind to others. It is win win in every way on all sides.
Turn your back on cruel unkind and bitter people. Leave them to scheme alone. Their negativity causes their faces to betray their bitterness within.
Their hearts harden and they wonder why others can be so unaffected by all their schemes to hurt others. They are the losers who think their nastiness towards others is justified. |
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22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 29 July 2016: and my list of Great Articles written by others needs an addition and here it is:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/just-some-fun.html
A little humour goes a long way.
The above article was published in 2008 and was written by one of th... (read in full...)
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http://www.dearcupid.org/question/wanted:-your-input-on-dearcupidorg.html
Great t... (read in full...)
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22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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A. 15 August 2015: this is not an article but it is a gorgeous answer that Missy_25 wrote in reply to a poster.
Missy_25 answered the following question - and her answer is worth pinning up somewhere prominent at home. Her advice was AAA all stars and I loved it... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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A. 21 May 2015: Dating tips. Thanks to a fairly new poster commenting on the following post I would see that this great contribution deserved to be in this compilation.
So here it is:
Need to think of some questions to ask on a date?
Below is a great list o... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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And dearcupid.org certainly does have a lot of w... (read in full...)
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A. 12 April 2015: GeeGee is a wise Aunt with three sons and some amazing life experience. She started dispensing advice at age 13 and is now a very busy grandmother. I've let her know that I thought her post was really relevant to teens today and so I am highlighting ... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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A. 2 March 2015: Relationships - it's not plain sailing sometimes.
Now the following is not from an article. But the answer from very wise Uncle wiseowle was so good to this question below that I am including the post in this compilation of really Great arti... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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One of the Uncles: mfj78 has written here:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/the-perills-of-looking-young.html
I love articles that really demonstrate a key is... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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Today I am adding a guide o teen dating w... (read in full...)
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A. 1 September 2014: I am adding a new Article to the DEAR CUPID Hall of Fame.
It is about DATING TIPS and deserves to be here with the Best
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/first-date-tips.html
Although it started off as a question it is so good that the ans... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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A. 28 June 2014: Online dating: Thank you Mark1978
I just added an article by Mark1978 to my list of TOP articles.
Mark1978 has just created this excellent article on online dating.
http://www.de... (read in full...)
Want a low cost way to get a flat stomach by Dec 2013. Is my goal achievable and how?
Q. I am 1.63m/5'4" and I weigh 66kg/146lbs and 20 percent body fat. I want to get a flat stomach and get my body fat down to 10-12 percent by mid December. I don't know how to do this when I have a limited budget for food and can't eat 5 times a day ...
A. 22 July 2013: Hi
self confidence comes from INSIDE you not your OUTER you.
There are good looking guys who never get a girl because they do not believe in themselves.
Sure there are gorgeous guys who cannot help reel in the girls.
But there are also geeky n... (read in full...)
Want a low cost way to get a flat stomach by Dec 2013. Is my goal achievable and how?
Q. I am 1.63m/5'4" and I weigh 66kg/146lbs and 20 percent body fat. I want to get a flat stomach and get my body fat down to 10-12 percent by mid December. I don't know how to do this when I have a limited budget for food and can't eat 5 times a day ...
A. 30 June 2013: Hi
I think regular lifting of some weights migh be your best option. Search YouTube for some demonstrations by physical exercise specialists on this topic,
They might have some additional tips on specific upper body exercises.
Your determinatio... (read in full...)
Want a low cost way to get a flat stomach by Dec 2013. Is my goal achievable and how?
Q. I am 1.63m/5'4" and I weigh 66kg/146lbs and 20 percent body fat. I want to get a flat stomach and get my body fat down to 10-12 percent by mid December. I don't know how to do this when I have a limited budget for food and can't eat 5 times a day ...
A. 30 June 2013: Sometimes we just have to love and accept who we are. If I had ever wanted to be a concert pianist I would have lived my life in disappointment. Since I have tiny hands. However I like my tiny hands.
You are more than just your chest meas... (read in full...)
Want a low cost way to get a flat stomach by Dec 2013. Is my goal achievable and how?
Q. I am 1.63m/5'4" and I weigh 66kg/146lbs and 20 percent body fat. I want to get a flat stomach and get my body fat down to 10-12 percent by mid December. I don't know how to do this when I have a limited budget for food and can't eat 5 times a day ...
A. 29 June 2013: Hi
Start the day with some stretching exercise. And do some stretching before and after every exercise session.
Try adding in an extra mile per day of brisk walking, and swing your arms as you walk briskly.
Plus maybe add in 15 minutes of s... (read in full...)
Want a low cost way to get a flat stomach by Dec 2013. Is my goal achievable and how?
Q. I am 1.63m/5'4" and I weigh 66kg/146lbs and 20 percent body fat. I want to get a flat stomach and get my body fat down to 10-12 percent by mid December. I don't know how to do this when I have a limited budget for food and can't eat 5 times a day ...
A. 18 June 2013: Hi
Men have a more active metabolism than women and while that is a factor ALL CREDIT should go to you. Because coupled with your drive and enthusiasm and doing everything right means you are having success. Well done.
Regards
Abella... (read in full...)
Want a low cost way to get a flat stomach by Dec 2013. Is my goal achievable and how?
Q. I am 1.63m/5'4" and I weigh 66kg/146lbs and 20 percent body fat. I want to get a flat stomach and get my body fat down to 10-12 percent by mid December. I don't know how to do this when I have a limited budget for food and can't eat 5 times a day ...
A. 16 June 2013: Hi
That's a great idea, another way is to measure your hips, waist and chest measurement once a week. This is then a irrefutable measureable statistic that shows your progress.
Make up a graph with your base measurements at the left and chart th... (read in full...)
Want a low cost way to get a flat stomach by Dec 2013. Is my goal achievable and how?
Q. I am 1.63m/5'4" and I weigh 66kg/146lbs and 20 percent body fat. I want to get a flat stomach and get my body fat down to 10-12 percent by mid December. I don't know how to do this when I have a limited budget for food and can't eat 5 times a day ...
A. 16 June 2013: Hi
That's a great idea, another way is to measure your hips, waist and chest measurement once a week. This is then a irrefutable measureable statistic that shows your progress.
Make up a graph with your base measurements at the left and chart th... (read in full...)
Want a low cost way to get a flat stomach by Dec 2013. Is my goal achievable and how?
Q. I am 1.63m/5'4" and I weigh 66kg/146lbs and 20 percent body fat. I want to get a flat stomach and get my body fat down to 10-12 percent by mid December. I don't know how to do this when I have a limited budget for food and can't eat 5 times a day ...
A. 13 June 2013: You are doing really well.
Hold your head up high. That is really Good Progress.
Remind yourself to drink lots of water..
Comparisons for calories is interesting.
It's not always just the bread that is the issue, it's all that is put on ... (read in full...)
Want a low cost way to get a flat stomach by Dec 2013. Is my goal achievable and how?
Q. I am 1.63m/5'4" and I weigh 66kg/146lbs and 20 percent body fat. I want to get a flat stomach and get my body fat down to 10-12 percent by mid December. I don't know how to do this when I have a limited budget for food and can't eat 5 times a day ...
A. 8 June 2013: I do hope the vegetables and salads and three pieces of fruit a day are being incorporated into your day? You have been quiet for a week so I am hoping your exercise, weights, walking and your increased vegetable intake etc is going well.... (read in full...)
Now that we live together I find that he's broke and demanding
Q. I just need an opinion on this matter, what does it take for a woman to be happy when she says my man makes me happy. Must a man be a provider financially or just to show that he love her by merely being with her. I've dated this guy for 6 years, ...
A. 8 June 2013: Here are some Domestic violence resources for women in South Africa. If South Africa is not your country then please let me know and I will post resources that are more appropriate for you.
These resources include 24 hour hotlines and advice line... (read in full...)
Now that we live together I find that he's broke and demanding
Q. I just need an opinion on this matter, what does it take for a woman to be happy when she says my man makes me happy. Must a man be a provider financially or just to show that he love her by merely being with her. I've dated this guy for 6 years, ...
A. 8 June 2013: Hi
If you fear for your safety with this man it is all the more reason to break up with him. I know that domestic violence is a serious problem in your country but you cannot keep on living with a man who fills you with fear for your future with... (read in full...)
It is just his Disrespect for me? Or is this because he is insecure about the fact that I work with men?
Q. I am a journeyman commercial painter. And yes as a woman in a mans world I already deal with enough crap. My bf has absolutely no respect for what I do. He thinks there's no physical labor involved in my job. I tried to explain to him that I ha...
A. 8 June 2013: I think insecure men with outdated views have a need to put down more capable women as it shores up their extremely fragile insecure ego.
Such men are not the norm. And you don't have to put up with this rubbish.
Good Painters are priceles... (read in full...)
Does this sound like my boyfriend was molested by his dad?
Q. I think my boyfriend was molested as a child. The even crazier thing is I suspect it was by his own parents. The first time I thought something was weird was because he told me he knew about sexual acts at a very pre mature age. He said when he was ...
A. 5 June 2013: I applaud you for showing some courage to recognize what may well be the case.
But don't push him.
Never be confronting.
It hurts, but he has to feel safe and comfortable before he can reveal more, or reveal anything.
Slowly and with gre... (read in full...)
Will having sex with him prove that I love him? I don't want to lose him. What should I do?
Q. I just had a new boyfriend ane he want me to have sex with him to prove that i love him,i told him that i am a virgin but i am not,i dont want to lose him,what can i do?...
A. 1 June 2013: Breaking up with him would be the smartest thing you have ever done to date. No genuine guy ever suggests that having sex with him will "prove" your love.
Instead, if you allow him to have sex with you it will just be the green light for him to t... (read in full...)
If he was backing off from me, why go to such lengths to show that this girl is just his friend?
Q. I have a quick question about male behavior. I have a friend i work with.. He was real flirty and and a big group of us went out and he was all about me. I didn't really think a whole lot on it since he was going through a divorce and we were all ...
A. 30 May 2013: Yes the friend zone sounds the right place for him.
He's not the man for you. Sounds like his own life needs sorting out, by himself, too. ... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 29 May 2013: This compilation is so useful.
I just recommended three articles celebrated within this Article.
You can find out which articles I just recommended by clicking on to the link below.
My responses to the question below are all about datings. a... (read in full...)
Would you be offended if a guy you were dating joked you are a cheap date?
Q. I was seeing someone, everything was going well but it recently fizzled out and she decided she just wants to be friends. I've been wracking my brains trying to remember if I did or said anything wrong and all I can think of is a time when we were ...
A. 29 May 2013: Hi
I hope the following Articles on DearCupid help you in some way.
Three Articles from Great Uncles and Aunts on DearCupid.org. Here they are (below)
http://www.de... (read in full...)
Is it even worth it to have my mother in my life?
Q. I'm at breaking point in my relationship with my mother. We've never had the best of relationships anyway but I'm seriously considering cutting her out of my life. My mother has never liked or loved me as a person. I certainly have never felt it or ...
A. 28 May 2013: Thank you for your feedback,
And I really hope things go well
Regards
Abella... (read in full...)
Want a low cost way to get a flat stomach by Dec 2013. Is my goal achievable and how?
Q. I am 1.63m/5'4" and I weigh 66kg/146lbs and 20 percent body fat. I want to get a flat stomach and get my body fat down to 10-12 percent by mid December. I don't know how to do this when I have a limited budget for food and can't eat 5 times a day ...
A. 28 May 2013: Hi
I always thought you were Male. Your profile says so.
Regards
Abella ... (read in full...)
Want a low cost way to get a flat stomach by Dec 2013. Is my goal achievable and how?
Q. I am 1.63m/5'4" and I weigh 66kg/146lbs and 20 percent body fat. I want to get a flat stomach and get my body fat down to 10-12 percent by mid December. I don't know how to do this when I have a limited budget for food and can't eat 5 times a day ...
A. 28 May 2013: Hi
I always thought you were Male. Your profile says so.
Regards
Abella ... (read in full...)
Is it even worth it to have my mother in my life?
Q. I'm at breaking point in my relationship with my mother. We've never had the best of relationships anyway but I'm seriously considering cutting her out of my life. My mother has never liked or loved me as a person. I certainly have never felt it or ...
A. 28 May 2013: Some mothers, for a myriad of reasons, have a disconnect with one or some or all their children from the start. Maybe a good psychologist or psychiatrist could unravel why. To the outsider it is a mystery. But children remember the slights, the dis... (read in full...)
Want a low cost way to get a flat stomach by Dec 2013. Is my goal achievable and how?
Q. I am 1.63m/5'4" and I weigh 66kg/146lbs and 20 percent body fat. I want to get a flat stomach and get my body fat down to 10-12 percent by mid December. I don't know how to do this when I have a limited budget for food and can't eat 5 times a day ...
A. 27 May 2013: Hi
Well increasing your vegetables is crucial.
Fruit should be three pieces of fruit per day.
Ok - very pleased you have access to broccoli and cauliflower.
If you can't find a frozen packet of chinese vegetables you'll have to get creative and... (read in full...)
Want a low cost way to get a flat stomach by Dec 2013. Is my goal achievable and how?
Q. I am 1.63m/5'4" and I weigh 66kg/146lbs and 20 percent body fat. I want to get a flat stomach and get my body fat down to 10-12 percent by mid December. I don't know how to do this when I have a limited budget for food and can't eat 5 times a day ...
A. 27 May 2013: A daily serve on a plate for your main meal should result in the protein being no more than what would cover ONE of the inner palms of ONE your hands.
Vegetables should always exceed your protein. And the small amount of carbohydrate should n... (read in full...)
Want a low cost way to get a flat stomach by Dec 2013. Is my goal achievable and how?
Q. I am 1.63m/5'4" and I weigh 66kg/146lbs and 20 percent body fat. I want to get a flat stomach and get my body fat down to 10-12 percent by mid December. I don't know how to do this when I have a limited budget for food and can't eat 5 times a day ...
A. 27 May 2013: Hi
That sounds good. What have you been able to do to increase your vegetable intake?
If you add some spices to thing and provide more heat that way the food can be more satisfying.
What vegetables do you have access to?
Do you have good access... (read in full...)
Why have I already resigned myself to the fact that I'll never find someone ?
Q. I am 22 and pretty good looking, I get told quite often I could get most girls (by both guys and girls). To begin with it was a nice ego boost to think people believed that about me. But now it just depresses me as in actual fact I never done ...
A. 27 May 2013: PS this additional advice was given to me when I discussed this with my guy. So I thought I'd add this:
Good looks will neversubstitute for warmth and an engaging personality. At 22 you have your whole life to meet someone. But based on my comm... (read in full...)
Why have I already resigned myself to the fact that I'll never find someone ?
Q. I am 22 and pretty good looking, I get told quite often I could get most girls (by both guys and girls). To begin with it was a nice ego boost to think people believed that about me. But now it just depresses me as in actual fact I never done ...
A. 27 May 2013: PS this additional advice was given to me when I discussed this with my guy. So I thought I'd add this:
Good looks will neversubstitute for warmth and an engaging personality. At 22 you have your whole life to meet someone. But based on my comm... (read in full...)
Why have I already resigned myself to the fact that I'll never find someone ?
Q. I am 22 and pretty good looking, I get told quite often I could get most girls (by both guys and girls). To begin with it was a nice ego boost to think people believed that about me. But now it just depresses me as in actual fact I never done ...
A. 27 May 2013: you sound defeated and that's not ok.
Time to start To like and love you first. Wow Good looking is a major plus.
There are plenty of guys with all manner of flaws who do get girls.
So it sounds like you lack confidence in you. And you may be g... (read in full...)
Should I tolerate this kind of behavior from my boyfriend?
Q. Last night I went to a bar with my boyfriend, we went to order the drinks and the bartender was an old man. After that we sat in a table and were talking, all of a sudden my boyfriend started saying bad things to me, he said i was a bitch and go ...
A. 25 May 2013: You should absolutely not have to endure and suffer this rubbish.
The only person doing anyembarassing was him. His own actions were disrespectful and by his own actions he embarassed himself.
If he has the jealousy gene fermenting inside him t... (read in full...)
Would you be offended if a guy you were dating joked you are a cheap date?
Q. I was seeing someone, everything was going well but it recently fizzled out and she decided she just wants to be friends. I've been wracking my brains trying to remember if I did or said anything wrong and all I can think of is a time when we were ...
A. 25 May 2013: When the trust is not yet super strong, and the other party has some unresolved issues that she has not yet revealed to you, then sometimes words can press sensitive significant buttons, that you are not even aware of yet.
Some words can cut deep... (read in full...)
How to get out of a abusive relationship???
Q. Ok how to get out of a abusive relationship??? I gotta take it slow he aint gonna let me leave without a fight. And I need to learn how to pay bills myself and all that and live alone with my peaceful kitties. And I gotta wait til I get money. Hope ...
A. 25 May 2013: I am glad that you realise how very very dangerous it is for you IF he finds out that you want to leave him. You must get out, but it must be done safely. That means it has to be done when you can get away without him being there.
There are some... (read in full...)
Is there anyone else out there suffering from Misophonia
Q. Is there anyone else out there suffering from Misophonia (a form of sound sensitivity where noises like people chewing, breathing, snoring etc provoke a fight or flight/rage response in the sufferer) who can offer me any advice about coping with it? ...
A. 25 May 2013: Would it help if you worse very effective ear protection to cut out any noise, and an eye mask to cut out any sensory over-load, when you sleep at your boyfriend's home?
I am sure that you are not a b^^ch at all. And that you just crave some sile... (read in full...)
How can I get this man to commit to me?
Q. Hi all. I'm 21 and my boyfried is 39. Yes, I realize the age difference but that's never mattered to me and my parents don't seem to mind much. We've been together since I was 18 and for being my age, that's a long time. Yes, we've both had a few ...
A. 25 May 2013: And by the way at 21 you are more than able to take on the role of his life partner. You get on well with his son. That's a huge plus.
I was engaged at 20 and married very happily at 21. I have never regretted doing that. In fact it was a bles... (read in full...)
How can I get this man to commit to me?
Q. Hi all. I'm 21 and my boyfried is 39. Yes, I realize the age difference but that's never mattered to me and my parents don't seem to mind much. We've been together since I was 18 and for being my age, that's a long time. Yes, we've both had a few ...
A. 25 May 2013: Some guys, feeling age creep up on them, feel younger and more energized by a lovely 18 year old at their side.
He may feel that at 21 you should not be impatient to settle down more. But gee how long is he going to make you wait?
Do you need... (read in full...)
If he was backing off from me, why go to such lengths to show that this girl is just his friend?
Q. I have a quick question about male behavior. I have a friend i work with.. He was real flirty and and a big group of us went out and he was all about me. I didn't really think a whole lot on it since he was going through a divorce and we were all ...
A. 25 May 2013: Oh this was mean. He wanted you at his party and then played, "I'm with her".
He wants sex from you. You have not been forthcoming as quickly as he wanted. So he decided to try to get you a little more keen by showing up with a girl from work. Who ... (read in full...)
At what point has a relationship boundaries been crossed and the necessity for privacy to go by the wayside?
Q. Hi, I've been struggling with some issues in my relationship. My girlfriend of a year has remained in contact with some exes. She has stated that its not a big deal they just message her on occasion and the conversations do not really go beyond...
A. 25 May 2013: Hi
I am very sorry that you feel I miss her identity. I guess for me it is the fact that she needs to keep you under wraps and does not publically acknowledge you as her boyfriend that bothers me.
I am sure she enjoys the obvious respect and care... (read in full...)
I have to take the bus to see him. How can I do this?
Q. I've asked a question about this before, but I need some more advice. Basically, I like someone a lot. Lots in common, we argue about literature and politics. I'm 14 he's 16. My last question was based on whether 2/3 years was too big an age g...
A. 25 May 2013: Meet him half way. Suggest an exhibition or an event (free if possible) that you would like to see with him. To get his opinion. So if you live near something interesting or picturesque that you have never visited then suggest that you would love to ... (read in full...)
Am I being selfish? My BF wants me to wait and travel with me - I want to travel next year, with or without him.
Q. Sometimes my boyfriend’s family make me feel swamped. They talk business all the time. My boyfriend and I both attended high school together and University together though he is one year ahead of me. The plan is to finish our studies and do some ...
A. 23 May 2013: like Serpico I like the sound of his work ethic. But I also think the time is right to think about travel next year. You are planning in advance. Next year is a long way off. Surely your Bf can rearrange his schedule for next year to do some ... (read in full...)
At what point has a relationship boundaries been crossed and the necessity for privacy to go by the wayside?
Q. Hi, I've been struggling with some issues in my relationship. My girlfriend of a year has remained in contact with some exes. She has stated that its not a big deal they just message her on occasion and the conversations do not really go beyond...
A. 23 May 2013: thank you for your follow-up. I think you are too generous to call her more mature than you. She is certainly giving the appearance of confidence and assured.
But there is something about her actions that trouble me.
If a previous relation... (read in full...)
At what point has a relationship boundaries been crossed and the necessity for privacy to go by the wayside?
Q. Hi, I've been struggling with some issues in my relationship. My girlfriend of a year has remained in contact with some exes. She has stated that its not a big deal they just message her on occasion and the conversations do not really go beyond...
A. 23 May 2013: Is she older than you? By how many years? Because it sounds like she is very confident and that she feels able to juggle her exes.
What is more worrying is that she is not being transparent with those who matter to her and she has put you into a co... (read in full...)
My bf's sex drive has dropped and I am worried he may not be interested in me. Help!
Q. Hi all, I'm having insecurities about sex and my boyfriend. He's recently started a low carb diet to get more in shape. He's a trainer and knows a lot about food. He says his sex drive has dropped since he started it. We were doing it about 4...
A. 23 May 2013: It sounds as if he is exhausted and is working so hard to get fit that his nutritional intake is deficient. All people need some carbs.
Is he getting enough iron in his diet? A lack of calcium now can result in bone issues for him later in life... (read in full...)
My Wedding. Does any one have any solutions? I'm just terrified of everything and everything revolving around me
Q. Hi! So I dont really know what to do for this, but I'm afraid of my wedding. I'm not afraid of commitment or anything and Im not afraid to go to other peoples weddings- just afraid of my own. I start looking at venues or dresses and just panic. ...
A. 22 May 2013: If you have not planned any major functions in your life then a wedding may well seem a huge undertaking.
To help it seem less formidable you can break it down into sections.
Yes you and the groom will be the stars of the show but you will be ... (read in full...)
Want a low cost way to get a flat stomach by Dec 2013. Is my goal achievable and how?
Q. I am 1.63m/5'4" and I weigh 66kg/146lbs and 20 percent body fat. I want to get a flat stomach and get my body fat down to 10-12 percent by mid December. I don't know how to do this when I have a limited budget for food and can't eat 5 times a day ...
A. 19 May 2013: And I would love to see you use this question to write an update (as a reply to this question), once a month, or more if you want, to tell us how things are going with your quest.
Because there is a lot of support on this site and people will love... (read in full...)
Want a low cost way to get a flat stomach by Dec 2013. Is my goal achievable and how?
Q. I am 1.63m/5'4" and I weigh 66kg/146lbs and 20 percent body fat. I want to get a flat stomach and get my body fat down to 10-12 percent by mid December. I don't know how to do this when I have a limited budget for food and can't eat 5 times a day ...
A. 19 May 2013: I can see that your country is not USA so I will keep that in mind for any advice.
And you want a lowcost option so I will not suggest anything that's likely to be expensive.
Both exercise and your food intake are important.
For exercise I s... (read in full...)
My ex is trying to change, should I get back together with him? How do I tell my mom?
Q. I broke up with my fiancé in late January this year. I loved and still do love him dearly. I left him because I was unhappy about many things about how he chose to live his life. he chose to hang out with loser drug addicts and got himself ...
A. 19 May 2013: Hi, you are a fully functioning adult who's been through a lot and shown true determination and resolve.
Forgive yourself. You made a decision and that's one part of your life. The feeling of what might have been will be there, occassionally in t... (read in full...)
Is having PMS a reason to act like a spoiled brat?
Q. Hi, I have a question regarding my girlfriend and her PMS. I know that it is a stressful time for a girl as the hormones are running wild, but should it be an excuse to act like a spoiled brat? Me and my girlfriend, who are both 20 years old, we...
A. 18 May 2013: Sometimes the cramps and pains can be horrible. If that happened I would sometimes go to bed earlier. But if it is really bad then a visit to the Doctor is a good idea.
At the same time it comes down to personality. Some people are positive... (read in full...)
At the moment, I am not ready for a threesome to happen in our relationship. My Bf would like it to happen. How long into a relationship before agreeing to it?
Q. Hi, Ok I would love some fair and informative advice here on my boyfriend wanting to have a FFM threesome. We have been going out with each other for 8 months and moved in together three months ago. At the beginning of the relationship he...
A. 18 May 2013: Concentrate on your own health first. your health must come first.
Guys, when the attraction is waning will sometimes suggest a threesome in the hope that it will enliven then relationship.
But in reality it only hastens the demise of the relat... (read in full...)
After connecting via a dating site, then what do I say to a potential girl friend, who I've only met online, in a first email to her?
Q. Hi. I use dating websites, but when it comes to emailing someone I have no idea what to say. I suppose I could just say "Hi I like your profile and would like to get to know you." But that just doesn't seem good enough. Do I ask her things about...
A. 18 May 2013: Hi
keep it simple and certainly don't subject her to many questions as that's just "too much"
At all times keep it simple. Not too many words.
1. Introduce yourself.
2. Tell her what you liked about her profile or what she had to say to you, w... (read in full...)
When to reveal a disability during online dating?
Q. I have a disability, cerebral palsy. Unlike some other people with cerebral palsy, I am not in a wheelchair, I run my own business. I have been exchanging messages with a girl on Match.com now for three weeks (only small messages.) So: 1) When s...
A. 13 May 2013: Hi
I just read your update. You have a right to be disappointed. She has not been genuine with you. Perhaps she's dis-satisfied in some respects with her life. But mis-representing herself to you was wrong.
Block this time waster. There are othe... (read in full...)
When to reveal a disability during online dating?
Q. I have a disability, cerebral palsy. Unlike some other people with cerebral palsy, I am not in a wheelchair, I run my own business. I have been exchanging messages with a girl on Match.com now for three weeks (only small messages.) So: 1) When s...
A. 13 May 2013: Hi I like that you've been very active in providing follow-ups. That usually helps those who answer the question to provide the question asker with good answers But can you please explain more about what you mean, when you say you dont 'get' an an... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 1 March 2013: Thank you for reading the article on articles.
You Should be on the list of my favorite Articles DirtBall. You write some wonderful advice.
Not only is the article a great way to find a group of good articles I also hope it alerts people ne... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 6 February 2013: Valentine’s Day – that special time each year for lovers. To some people Valentine’s day is very very special.
To others the day passes without another thought. So often people start thinking about Valentine’s day and need some ideas or some sup... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 6 February 2013: When I see an outstanding Article I intend to add it to this resource. So I can easily find the article again in the future.
So now this resource holds 58 really Great Articles by really thoughtful and excellent Aunts and Uncles on this site.
... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 19 September 2012: There can always be new variations and new issues that have not yet been asked and have not yet been posted on Dear Cupid. So if you are in love with your teacher or your lecturer then DO post your NEW question please
Sometimes some addition... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 15 September 2012: Teacher Student Crushes keep on happening. Often the student wants to know if others understand their feelings
So today I thought I would create the Definitive resource on past advice on Students in love with their teacher or with a Crush on their... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 12 September 2012: Thank you anonymous, for your Recommendation for an Article that really Resonates with you, and no doubt many other readers.
And "I am here to help you" is indeed a big contributer on this site. Well spotted.
There is nothing worse than that hor... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 12 September 2012: This following question from 2010 has a response by Yos. There are 66 responses to this question on Retroactive Jealously from some amazing Aunts and Uncles in Dearcupid.org. Now Amazing Yos if you do not yet know it is, seriously, the BEST expo... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 2 September 2012: Now over 40 articles so far in this resource - the ones in the initial article at left, plus the additional articles I have added in through followups, including this new follow up.
And it is not finished yet. I am still going through lists of... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 1 September 2012: Another reason not to post an Article as Anonymous. I have been trawling through some Articles that might be almost impossible to find. Except some digging around has revealed four more articles from the past that deserve to be read again.
I cou... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 31 August 2012: Thank you So Very Confused.
I am not finished yet. Still looking for more good articles
Regards
Abella. ... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 31 August 2012: Thank you CTR
And I intend to add any article I need to find in a hurry and think might be useful in the future, be it an article published 4 years ago or 4 minutes ago
I can't guarantee to put up every article. Only the ones that I think might ... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 31 August 2012: I have just found some more articles that deserve to be added to the list of my favourites
This resource is already proving to be very useful when I go looking for that amazing article. wish I had thought of this earlier.
Here are the extra ar... (read in full...)
| *bella's friends
These are mutual friends, so *bella has
added them and they have added *bella!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
