A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I walked into my library a few hours ago and sat down at a long study desk (there's a row of chairs where people can sit) next to some random other girl (it's busy today so there aren't many spaces left). I noticed her staring at me the whole time I sat down and I kept hearing her "huffing" as I was unpacking my stuff but I wasn't being particularly noisy or taking up any of her space so ignored her.The whole time I was sitting next to her (again not being noisy/just working on my laptop, reapplying sunscreen to my face every now and then and basically minding my own business) she kept glaring over at me, making that "huffing" noise people make and reading what I was doing on my laptop. I could see her doing it out of the corner of my eye and it was incredibly annoying. I looked back at her a few times and then she looked away but continued doing it.When she left she kept on "huffing" again, and then (I'm not sure if it was on purpose) she was putting her jacket on and somehow hit me with the sleeve even though I was sitting quite far away. I cleared my throat loudly and stared at her (I know she knew she did it because she suddenly started staring in my direction but refusing to look me directly in the eye, kind of like she was looking just away from my face) but she didn't apologise and slammed her chair before walking out.Would you have said something? (I was on the verge of doing so though she walked off pretty quickly). Why do some people behave like this? I had the odd person being like that at university and she seemed about 17 but it's ridiculously immature. I may also see her again as I visit the library quite often.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2015): I would be the bigger person and just let it go.
A lot of times, we assume things based on our feelings and reactions at the moment. But could it be that she is not feeling well hence the huffing or she is just having a really bad day? It can be totally that it has nothing to do with you.
Don't take it personally.
A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (15 April 2015):
 hi,
No I would not have said anything.
Maybe she thinks of that area of the Library as ''her'' table? And did not want to share the space with anyone?
This is probably not the first time she's been rude to someone.
Sadly, some disagreeable people are just rude. I try my best to steer clear of them. Sometimes I think they may have some form of personality defect, or they just feel a sense of entitlement such that they think they have a right to be so disagreeable.
Recently I chose to spend a little time (silently) going over a presentation on my laptop in the quiet study area of the library. I had the sound turned off on my laptop. There were other people using their laptops in the quiet area.
Another man was sitting nearby reading a newspaper. Unfortunately I received one beep of my phone, and I do mean a single beep, to alert me to one text. Now I am sorry that I'd forgotten to turn my phone off (my mistake).
I did not reply to the text then and there, and I immediately turned my phone off.
But the commotion the man reading the newspaper caused when he then stood up and yelled at me, ''don't you know this is a quiet area?'' was over the top.
I packed up my things (as I had to make my way to the area where I would be speaking).
You'd think that would be enough for the said man reading a newspaper. But no.
As I quietly walked out he then told loudly spoke as I walked past him, ''and don't come back, this is a quiet area''
And I had not said a word.
I decided that his level of rudeness did not need a response due to the only sound from me was a single short muted ''beep''.
All I do is feel sorry for such rude people.
Yes perhaps they have some sort of illness. Maybe some sort of psychological issues.
Maybe they are seriously stressed about something and so react inappropriately.
Perhaps their Emotional Intelligence is hovering around zero.
Maybe they arrogantly think it is their right to be nasty to their fellow human beings.
Whatever the problem, a word from you or me is not going to change them.
But I'll guarantee they have problems with other people in their lives, or a lack of other people in their lives.
People who behave so inappropriately cannot keep friends and find it harder to make new friends.
And thus their own social skills start to suffer.
You can only pity them. Because lacking social skills they just keep on becoming more disagreeable over time.
Our friends will tell us the truth, offer genuine advice and support. That's what friends are for.
One can only feel pity for those who's lives lack friends and support.
You just happen to have been unlucky enough to meet a person, who for whatever reason, wanted to make you feel uncomfortable.
I am very sorry that you had to suffer that.
If you see her in the Library again then try to sit as far away from her as possible.
If her rudeness escalates next time at the library then please advise a Library security officer or the librarian.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2015): (for So Very Confused) UVA rays penetrate glass and cause deeper damage to the skin. Prevention young saves wrinkles later!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2015): The huffing sounds could have been due to allergies or a tick. The staring may have been because she has seen you around and she happens to be a weird person.
Confrontation was unnecessary and would be unwise.
People with personality-disorders or bipolarity often publicly display odd or bazaar behavior. They are better-off left alone. You may have met somewhere before, and you sat down without acknowledging her. She may have taken offense to that. You may not remember her face, but she may have recognized you.
Personally, I would have gotten up and found another place to sit; or came back later when I knew she was gone.
Sometimes we inadvertently insult people, or might be unaware we may have said something rude that may have offended them. You may have dismissed the issue, and totally forgot about it. Well, sometimes people don't forget these incidents, but assume you remember. If they're not totally in control of their mental faculties, they find weird ways to retaliate. Even if you're just a friend of someone they don't like.
Keep your distance if you ever see her again. Don't say anything. If she goes out of her way to make physical contact in anyway; report it.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (15 April 2015):
 No. You are just guessing that she slapped you with her sleeve on purpose, but you can't be sure about that. These things happen. Once in a pastry shop a lady I know procedeed to put on her large, long winter coat, with an elegant, sweeping motion ... and swept along to the floor 3 trays of small pastries.
Ditto for the huffing sound, you can't be sure she was huffing AT you; maybe she was huffing for something else, like feeling frustrated about some hard to understand page. Or, maybe she was huffing at you because you weren't as silent as you THOUGHT you were ( people seldom are ). Or, her huffing was her comment to your applying and reapplying sunscreen in a library, in close proximity of HER books ,or of library books or property. ( Don't they have ladies room in your library ? ).
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (15 April 2015):
 Eh, the girl was having a bad day, or having bad manner. Either way, it's NOT worth you getting upset. YOU didn't DO anything to upset her on purpose.
Maybe she thought she would have the library to herself and she might have felt she did, till you picked the chair RIGHT next to her.
If I were you I'd rolled my eyes at her and then IGNORED her little huffle-puff non verbal tirade. WHO cares why she was being a brat?
So, next time - pick another seat no where near her.
Don't waste your time on negative people. And don't let them ruin your day. Shake your head and remember NOT everyone have manner, not everyone has social skills and not EVERYONE has a good day.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (15 April 2015):
 No I would not have said anything. I may have moved.
why are you reapplying sunscreen while IN THE LIBRARY?
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