A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Heya all help needed... I've been mates with this boy for 2 years and we have shared so many memories and we were like bro and sis! He decided to stop talking to me and started making up all these excuses on what i have done and we haven't talked in like two months it's really hard coz he's in a lot of my classes! Recently i made a mistake I gave this girl his number coz she said they were gd mates and I sent him a message saying I was sorry but he hasn't seen it!! He has said horrible things about me to her and after everything I never thought he would do this to me!! He is now getting my friends envolved when I don't want them to be! He is lying to my friends to find out information and blaming it on my other friends and it isn't fair on them! One minute he jokes around with me and is nice than the next he turns into a horrible person and I don't know how much More I can take of him!! But I keep of thinking about all the gd times we ah together and I don't think I can let go of what we had!! But no one should be treated like this!! What do I do help!!?? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (15 April 2015):
 What a jerk. CUT the contact 100%. If people come to you with lies he is telling about you, roll your eyes and say oh he needs to come up with some better lies than that and then let it go.
Don't play his nasty games, LET him make a total asshat of himself - others WILL see how ridiculous his stories are.
FOCUS on school and friends you CAN rely on, but DO NOT make him a topic for gossip or even conversation. HE ISN'T worth your time. If someone wants to tell you something he said or did, just be honest and say hey, he is NO LONGER someone I regard as a friend and I DO NOT care what he does/says. So can we all just please not talk about him any more?
He is a bully. Why he is doing it is hard to say - but.. the thing is... IF you keep "FEEDING" this bully, he will KEEP trying to make you feel like crap.
HE IS NO longer the boy who was your friend.
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (15 April 2015):
 Distance yourself from this immature boy. He is not behaving like a friend. For whatever reason he is behaving badly.
He cannot take away your good memories. Just cherish the good memories and set them aside. He is not that person anymore.
At home start a journal that you keep in a safe place at home and detail what challenges you had on any given day and how you overcame those challenges. Call it your Achievement Journal. It is private and you do not need to share it with anyone and nor talk about it to anyone. It is your journal to celebrate the steps you are taking to deal with this challenge of a former friend who has turned feral.
I feel certain that you are not a horrible person.
Be with people who are respectful and do not do nasty things behind your back. Look at a person's actions at all times. Not their false charm to your face.
Although you and this boy for a long time he is changing the way he feels and for whatever reason he has decided to be mean to you. That proves that he is not the right friend for you.
In any case Your school work should be taking centre stage right now. Let him run around being a fool. He will eventually be recognized for his immaturity. You will not be the last person he treats this way. Others will also start to recognize that he is a fool.
Sad as it is, sometimes we outgrow a friend who does not want things to change.
when that happens it is important to busy yourself with other things.
Are there any after school activities that you could join or attend that are age appropriate and might allow you some social interaction with others your own age?
Is there something you have wanted to learn to do? Ask your family if someone in the family can teach you a skill that could give you pleasure in later life.
At your age I attended art classes on Saturday morning and I still paint today.
At your age I used to enjoy tomboy stitch. You can make pretty bangles with this. Here is how: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfdXuZTRM6M
Though I know that connecting with your friends is the main aim. Try to remember that in the 13-15 age group some teens can be mean. But eventually the meanness gives way to much nicer behaviour. It is a sign of immaturity to behave in such a nasty way.
Although this FREE Teens site may refer to an area outside your area of the UK you may be able to get some ideas from exploring this web site:http://www.help4teens.co.uk/
And the Get Connected site in the UK is FREE and may have some good options to help you get support.
http://www.getconnected.org.uk/
Please keep in mind that this tough period will pass and be over eventually.
when at school do approach a school counsellor and talk things over with them as well. The Counsellor can discuss this nastiness and give you some coping strategies that could make a difference.
This boy sounds to be seriously immature. He may have his own issues. Don't give him any attention and cease trying to get him to be nice to you. He has his own problems that are making him be so mean. He does not deserve your friendship while his behaviour spirals into this nastiness.
And if you feel very "down" about all this nastiness then the Samaritans are wonderful at www.samaritans.org
This is a well resourced FREE site and well able to give you additional support.
Although it is indeed not nice and draining to have to deal with the actions of nasty people, in the end, handled right, you will grow stronger and wiser as a result. I would never wish anyone to suffer what you are suffering. But based on my experience - fools only make a person (suffering the nastiness of a fool) to grow stronger and wiser as a result.
It is HIS loss that he will have to lose a former friend (you) all because of his behaviour.
You cannot fix him. He has to want to change his behaviour.
Your friends too have to work out for themselves who is the one who has not done these nasty things and who is the fool who is being nasty.
Try to remain calm, peaceful and pleasant. While he is still peddling his lies it may be difficult for a while. Thus please do make use of the support suggestions listed above.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (15 April 2015):
 You can be friends with him again, but only after he grows up a bit more. Okay, after he grows up a lot.
In the meantime, limit your contact with him.
Have you talks with your mum or dad about this?
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