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I've added some new quotes today (but also kept the earlier ones below)
And the next two quotes are from a wise Uncle on this site called BrownWolf http://www.dearcupid.org/people/brownwolf
“I very thankful for the ounce of common sense I have...because sense is not that common. :) “
"Stay away from foolish people; they have nothing to teach you."
That quote about foolish people from BrownWolf is so true. A weak person cannot be trusted. With a strong person you have more certainty, they are not afraid to stand up and be counted when they are needed.
And I especially like BrownWolf's first quote above on common sense and so I asked BrownWolf for permission to replicate it here. BrownWolf then generously offered the second quote, above, as well.
When you meet a person for the first time, then imagine they are facing their biggest challenge ever:
With this mind-set it reminds us to be kind and use empathy because we can never truly know the extent of personal challenges a person is currently facing.
Badgering a person and humiliation with unreasonable demands for "I have to know" is more likely to harm than help. We do not "have to know". Be kind. Listen carefully and remain supportive. Then the person will willingly reveal more and feel safe to reveal more again.
We can never assume that things are much easier than things are for ourselves.
It encourages one to listen carefully and employ empathy in our dealings with others.
In life we face many things. But with each challenge we can grow a little stronger. When you meet a person with great strength of character it is possible that they grew that strength as a result of some very tough obstacles and some personal tragedies.
Never underestimate such a person.
Strength does not imply brutality nor cruelty and often not even physical strength.
A truly strong person will never seek to harm another. They know their strength and they know that kindness will move mountains more easily than brutality.
Then there is one of my favourites: Sun Tzu.
The wisdom of Sun Tzu is still as fresh as the day he wrote it 4000 years ago:
“A leader leads by example not by force. “
And now some less well known quotes:
“It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections.”
by Daisaku Ikeda
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
by Maya Angelou
“Challenges are what will make us stronger.”
by Zainab Alsaati
Respect other people's feelings. Even if it doesn't mean anything to you, it could mean everything to them. (quoted by many, but generally considered to be by 'unknown')
'As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.'.....Andrew Carnegie
I also respect the Chinese idea of "face" - there is no need to humiliate people. It demeans the one doing the demeaning. there are better ways to call a person to account with dignity. Focus on the Issue when there is a problem rather than be accusatory to the person
'Spilled water is hard to regain' (fù shu nán shou)
"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt,
kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate." .....Albert Schweitzer
'A sunny disposition is worth more than fortune.
Young people should know that it can be cultivated; that the mind like the body can be moved from the shade into sunshine'. .Andrew Carnegie
"We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds." ... Author Unknown, from A Great Life Lesson
“It always seems impossible until it's done.”... Nelson Mandella
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." .....Mother Teresa
"Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough." .....Franklin D. Roosevelt
'Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.'...Andrew Carnegie
what's your favourite quote?
But all is not sweetness, kindness and light in this complex world.
There really are afflicted and inadequate people in this world who get their pleasure from deliberately trying to hurt others.
They do this out of an inflated sense of their importance in the scheme of things. They feel entitled to be mean to others. They have become arrogant over the years.
Yet they are not the strong individuals they think they are. Instead they are passive aggressive bullies.
There are those afflicted with traits that are so petty and unkind that one wonders what has happened to make them that way?
Their arrogance will not allow them to step back and get help for their afflictions.
Instead, like a bull in a china shop, they just keep on head butting harder and harder, using the same tactics they've been using for years to try to get their own way.
What traits cause the problems for such insecure arrogant persons with an inflated sense of entitlement?
Here are a few of the afflictions that continually cause problems in their relationships:
Negativity?
Passive Aggression?
Being Hate filled towards those they see as ''less'' than themselves = everyone?
Envy
Jealousy
For those afflicted with those horrible traits all I can feel for these tormented souls is pity that they are beset with such inadequacies and negativity.
The traits result in them concocting a lie that they are the victims, when in reality they are instead the bullies, the overly judgmental and nasty arrogant persons who enjoy hurting others.
Just feel sorry for them and their inadequate responses.
Then go forth and find things to enjoy in life. Find the positive, find ways to be supportive and kind to others. It is win win in every way on all sides.
Turn your back on cruel unkind and bitter people. Leave them to scheme alone. Their negativity causes their faces to betray their bitterness within.
Their hearts harden and they wonder why others can be so unaffected by all their schemes to hurt others. They are the losers who think their nastiness towards others is justified. |
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Is she trying to bully me? This girl make my life a misery at school. What can I do?
Q. ok, so there's this girl at school who hangs out with us in our group, she's shorter than me but she's a real ****h. she always makes fun of my name, she greets me with a really embarrasing and mean insult. She makes fun of my past (which i don't kn...
A. 8 July 2015: Do wish the powers that be or some billionaire who cares about domestic abuse would fund a permanent site so that everyone can always find Biderman's chart of coercion in the one permanent place
Here it is - the road map of how abusers abuse.
... (read in full...)
Is she trying to bully me? This girl make my life a misery at school. What can I do?
Q. ok, so there's this girl at school who hangs out with us in our group, she's shorter than me but she's a real ****h. she always makes fun of my name, she greets me with a really embarrasing and mean insult. She makes fun of my past (which i don't kn...
A. 29 June 2015: Once again an update as the URL has disappeared again, but I have found the relevant chapter online as a .pdf on bullying.
Just in case anyone reads the update below and finds the link does not work.
well this link does work at the moment re Bi... (read in full...)
Does he take me for granted? Am I not a Priority in his life? NO birthday present from him either!!
Q. Hi all, I need a little help trying to decipher my boyfriend's behaviour over the weekend. We have been together for 6 months and are in a long distance relationship. He is sweet and has had a tough year with his dad dying and moving house a...
A. 26 October 2012: Hi
You know what you need to do to keep your self respect intact.
His could not care less attitude does him no favours.
And do not listen to any excuses if he later on decides he wants to resume things.
If he can treat you with cavalier distain... (read in full...)
Family Guest arriving soon. Is it okay to put a rubber(?) mattress cover on the double bed where they will be sleeping alone?
Q. Okay, this is an odd question and probably doesn't belong here, but... We have some guests coming soon. One of them is a bit mentally challenged. The last time we saw this person, they smelled terribly of urine. Is it okay to put a rubber(?) ...
A. 26 October 2012: If there was odour then the protecter was used.
The fabric can hold a huge amount of fluid and still seem dry to touch.
Hospitals use them all the time.... (read in full...)
My past has affected me and subsequently my troubled relationships led to me turning to porn. Can I have a normal sex life?
Q. I am porn-damaged and I need help. Modnote: this paragraph was reduced to a precis, due to the graphic images therein: The background is that I have had a very troubled life where things have happened that were NOT my fault and for which I was ...
A. 15 October 2012: hi
Words are not enough to convey my thoughts that with more support you can heal and hopefully move towards a more satisfying, for you, sex life that is closer to an approximation of a normal sex life.
You may have a strong vision of what you feel... (read in full...)
Family Guest arriving soon. Is it okay to put a rubber(?) mattress cover on the double bed where they will be sleeping alone?
Q. Okay, this is an odd question and probably doesn't belong here, but... We have some guests coming soon. One of them is a bit mentally challenged. The last time we saw this person, they smelled terribly of urine. Is it okay to put a rubber(?) ...
A. 15 October 2012: I am not sure if a rubber mattress will be enough. That may not absorb the liquid. And a smell may linger in the rubber mattress,
There are better absorbent padded fabric options available today to address a growing problem, as some people r... (read in full...)
I love him, but is there something wrong in his head? Do I need to speak to a Doctor about him?
Q. I really need some help and advice about my boyfriend, we've been dating on and off for four years now and I'm not even eighteen yet. I love him ever so much and I couldn't live with out him! but over the past two years things have been really c...
A. 14 October 2012: I think your boyfriend has some serious mental health issues. Visit your doctor alone first if it is easier. Exlain all the symptoms. I think you are in danger as his behaviour is becoming more erratic.
He desperately needs a Mental Health asse... (read in full...)
Does he take me for granted? Am I not a Priority in his life? NO birthday present from him either!!
Q. Hi all, I need a little help trying to decipher my boyfriend's behaviour over the weekend. We have been together for 6 months and are in a long distance relationship. He is sweet and has had a tough year with his dad dying and moving house a...
A. 14 October 2012: I don't like that he does not have the courage to tell you exactly where you stand.
He is leaving you to just wonder.
He's running out of excuses.
You are NOT to be treated in such a cavalier manner.
He may be feeling distracted but i... (read in full...)
Man's point of view: Do men flirt with girls they aren't into?
Q. I NEED HELP! I have had a huge crush on one of my coworkers for years, he is also one of my best guy friends (we are both in our late 20s) he is a bit of a flirt with some of the girls we work (less hands-on than he is with me and just little ...
A. 14 October 2012: Yes, Yes, Yes.
Some men would flirt with a wooden clothes peg with a skirt on it. They don't want a relationship. They just flirt as a reflex action.
They cannot help themselves.
Some men are in their 90s and still chasing skirt and fl... (read in full...)
I don't think my b/f should be the center of my life
Q. I´m 19 and I´m a girl, i´ve always had a hard time making friends, to the point that I don´t have any friends. Somehow i managed to get a bf, he is a sweet guy, i love him and i know he loves me, we have been together for 2 and a half years, but he ...
A. 14 October 2012: You are quite correct to come to the conclusion that your Boyfriend should not be the center of your life.
But before you make some friends you need to enrich your own life.
Friends are a give and take mutually satisfying relationship. If all you ... (read in full...)
Pregnant but still having an affair - please help!?
Q. I know I will be judged for this but I don't have anyone or anywhere to go with this one. I'm 6 months pregnant with my husband. Just before I got pregnant, I left my husband. Things had been bad for a while and I was falling for another man. ...
A. 13 October 2012: You really do not owe the other man a thing. In the twelve months he was with you he was happy to have you as his "extra".
He was feeling especially sorry for himself. Since he knows he has lost you.
He is good at playing the "little boy lost" tr... (read in full...)
Four months absence. Some tips please on how to look amazing for him when he returns and we go on a date together?
Q. I have a boyfriend who has been to america and is home next week. I havent seen him for 4 months as thats how long he goes away for. On his first night back when i will be first seeing him we have arranged to go out for a meal and then onto the...
A. 13 October 2012: Hi
Hair washed and soft and nice to touch. Use a conditioner that ensures your hair has no dry ends.
After the shower also soak your feet for ages, while you attend to your nails. Then give your feet a pedicure.
Also, after you shower use a... (read in full...)
My Penis is "turning" to the right - could be a health problem?
Q. That's my second question and I love this site because of the anonymity, I greatly thank you about the last advice :) That's acutally very embarassing, but I'll try to explain. I'm 19, my penis is not too curvy, but when it gets erect it tu...
A. 13 October 2012: Hi Guys
this curvature or bending of the penis CAN be caused by a condition called Peyronies disease.
I am not suggesting that you have Peyronies diseas.
There may be another reason. Like scar tissue within your penis.
I have even heard girl... (read in full...)
Does he take me for granted? Am I not a Priority in his life? NO birthday present from him either!!
Q. Hi all, I need a little help trying to decipher my boyfriend's behaviour over the weekend. We have been together for 6 months and are in a long distance relationship. He is sweet and has had a tough year with his dad dying and moving house a...
A. 13 October 2012: Hi
When people are Depressed and Grieving their bodies start to slow down like a clock that has not been wound.
They need to go through a healing process that may last 6 months, 12 months or longer.
They are less resilient when they are grieving... (read in full...)
Does he take me for granted? Am I not a Priority in his life? NO birthday present from him either!!
Q. Hi all, I need a little help trying to decipher my boyfriend's behaviour over the weekend. We have been together for 6 months and are in a long distance relationship. He is sweet and has had a tough year with his dad dying and moving house a...
A. 13 October 2012: i think explore with him, first, what other external pressures are on him. Things he may not want to share with you, but which may be affecting him.
Things like:
Has he developed a porn addiction that is very focused on women's boobs?
This is m... (read in full...)
Does he take me for granted? Am I not a Priority in his life? NO birthday present from him either!!
Q. Hi all, I need a little help trying to decipher my boyfriend's behaviour over the weekend. We have been together for 6 months and are in a long distance relationship. He is sweet and has had a tough year with his dad dying and moving house a...
A. 12 October 2012: Long distance relationships do put so much added pressure on the relationship and six months is not long for any relationship. Fortunately for you he is generally a sweet guy. But he has faced a very sad and challenging year and may certainly still ... (read in full...)
Oh, how things change.
Q. Last time I visited DearCupid, I was a lonely teenager of about seventeen: never had a girlfriend, and moaning pathetically about it to all who would listen. Terrified that I was destined to be alone forever. Now, I sit and type to you as a twen...
A. 11 October 2012: What a lovely article
I am so glad you have seen that "even this will pass" and that life can get better.
Patience and a Lack of impatience can really ensure you reach chosen goals.
And some say one way to reach success with any goal is to '... (read in full...)
Did I move on too quickly? Should I have tried to patch things up with my ex?
Q. You know when they say Oh you will do or find some one else better, How come sometimes you feel you didnt do better? Ive been dating James for two months but its nothing compared to my last relationship..Im not saying that i want him to be the same ...
A. 9 October 2012: Building the trust in a relationship does take time. And every new partner brings some aspects that are just as good as the previous partner and some aspects that are better, but sadly some parts that are not as good. Over time, in one relationship ... (read in full...)
Where do the single women in their 30s hang out? I've not dated for 2years. How do I maximise my chances of success with women?
Q. So, been single for 3 years after a 9-yr LTR. Am now 38. And I have not been on a date in 2 years. I tried online dating for 18 months and got 2 dates out of it. Am a member of many clubs and have many hobbies. Meeting people is not an...
A. 9 October 2012: Single women in their 30s go to many places.
But :
Be at the right place at the right time.
Chat her up as soon as you feel right about doing so.
The supermarket to shop = you can chat up a girl in a supermarket aisle
The gym = choose th... (read in full...)
On being too dependant. I need to ensure that I don't become the emotional dumping ground for new friends. Any suggestions on how to do this?
Q. Hi Everyone I've been asking for help a few times as I've been in a new relationship for some months now after a very long (nearly two decades), very negative one. Every now and then issues flag up that usually relate to my past experiences ...
A. 8 October 2012:
I think there are some really interesting dynamics going on here. Beause you are so correct. When I was being bullied (not just me but various people in a place I once worked) I looked at who was being bullied and they targeted certain peop... (read in full...)
We passed 100,000 questions published on DearCupid
Q. Today is another milestone in DearCupid history: Over 100,000 questions (100,020 as I write this) have been published! Wow. Thanks to the aunts, the moderators and everyone who shares their problem. As always any ideas on how to improve the s...
A. 8 October 2012: And now the Real Statistics are OVER A MILLION answers on DearCupid.org as at October 2012 - That's Impressive.
Here are the real and current statistics for all the Answers on this Great site called Dearcupid.org
Here are the Real and Impress... (read in full...)
When would be the right time to tell my students that I am pregnant?
Q. I'm a 29 year-old woman and I recently found out that I am expecting. I'm a teacher, so is my husband, and we work at the same high school. We've been married for 15 months. I'm fairly skinny and I'm about 6 weeks pregnant. I haven't starting ...
A. 7 October 2012: hi
I know many people work right up to the day or some work up to six weeks before. And I know it is a financial neccesity for some to work up to close to delivery day.
But I also know how tiring the last 3 months can be. Therefore I think it gives... (read in full...)
When would be the right time to tell my students that I am pregnant?
Q. I'm a 29 year-old woman and I recently found out that I am expecting. I'm a teacher, so is my husband, and we work at the same high school. We've been married for 15 months. I'm fairly skinny and I'm about 6 weeks pregnant. I haven't starting ...
A. 7 October 2012: hi
First congratulations!
When you do tell your students expect them to probably congratulate your husband as well. On the same day. Thus word will spread fast.
So ensure your husband is pre-warned of the day you are going to announce the hap... (read in full...)
Is she trying to bully me? This girl make my life a misery at school. What can I do?
Q. ok, so there's this girl at school who hangs out with us in our group, she's shorter than me but she's a real ****h. she always makes fun of my name, she greets me with a really embarrasing and mean insult. She makes fun of my past (which i don't kn...
A. 7 October 2012: Also, my version of a PS:)
http://www.williamwilkie.com/bullying.htm
download the information on the book “Bullying from backyard to boardroom” on that site above – and in particular read chapter seven = Psychological Abuse In The Workplace... (read in full...)
Is she trying to bully me? This girl make my life a misery at school. What can I do?
Q. ok, so there's this girl at school who hangs out with us in our group, she's shorter than me but she's a real ****h. she always makes fun of my name, she greets me with a really embarrasing and mean insult. She makes fun of my past (which i don't kn...
A. 7 October 2012: Also, and this is VERY important: Do not retaliate with the same bullying behaviour.
Bullies are known for the fact that they often try to goad the victim to react.
They goad and goad and goad and try to get a reaction.
Then they report the r... (read in full...)
I don't understand why I keep falling for girls who are already taken. Can anyone suggest why I do this?
Q. I have a history of falling for girls who were already taken, in relationships, married, or who were themselves in love with someone else. Any help as to why a person would always let this happen and what to do about it?...
A. 6 October 2012: This can occur when you are frightened to make a commitment. So if you choose girls who are already with a person you have a ready excuse to allow you to back out before the thought of you committing to the person is ever evident.
And because ... (read in full...)
What kind of sexy lingerie should I buy? I feel fat!
Q. i really need help, me and my partner are going away for the weekend to see his family and staying in a hotel. hes paying and the thing is he wants me to wear sumthing sexy well where in the hotel, i dont have a clue what to wear as have never do...
A. 5 October 2012: I do hope the weekend went well.
And I hope you found something nice to wear.
This has been a wakeup call that you have not been paying enough attention to the very important aspect of being sensual - and that is your underwear and your lingerie... (read in full...)
My cousin has a Gf. And he and I flirt a lot. I am still a virgin. Should I agree to sex with him?
Q. Hi guys! Hope you can help me. I am a shy type of girl but i do flirted with my first cousin. Its my 3rd time to meet him last january. He's from jersey,he lives there, he's d same guy i wrote here last 2010 http://www.dearcup...
A. 5 October 2012: Lovely follow up.
I love reading nice follow ups like that.
Be strong.
And absolutely do not put up with any female relative to also encouraging you to "be nice" to him.
He may well have a word in the ear of one of your female relatives and... (read in full...)
It was so much better when study and boyfriend were separated! Now I spend all my study time with him and my weekends alone!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year and everything was absolutely perfect until recently. We used to study in different places. Two or three times a week I would go see him after college to spend time together, to talk about fun thin...
A. 5 October 2012: You have removed all the fun from your relationship and left in only the chore times. That's not smart. This is going to affect your relationship.
And possibly compromise your studies as well.
I think he wanted to spend more time with you and that... (read in full...)
How do you know if a guy is playing you?
Q. How do you know if a guy is playing you? I think this guys toying with me, he did all these things and now he's acting funny. He basically: Touched my waist Fixed my glasses for me Hugged me(we're literally acquaintances) I asked for h...
A. 5 October 2012: He might be genuine but I think he sounds like a player in training. He denied too - classic player behaviour - where they never admit "YES", when they are sprung. And his actions are well practised = I think he is defining and developing a str... (read in full...)
How to tell if your bf loves you?
Q. This how to guide is for all the women out there who cant seem to figure out if their bf really loves them, despite of asking directly from their bf, friend's or maybe looking for answer on google search for signs if their bf really loves them. ...
A. 5 October 2012: Very nice current article.
I am going to recommend it now to someone who could benefit by reading this great article.
I shall look forward to more articles by you.
Regards
Abella ... (read in full...)
Why do I ask questions knowing I will get hurt? Especially as she didn't cheat on me, it's all about before we met..
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for one year. She is 28 years old and she had an affair with a married man when she was still married few years back. Her then husband was a womanizer and that's when she got involved with this sweet talking ...
A. 5 October 2012: Hi
You ask these questions right now as you think it will make you feel better. In the long run it will not make you feel better.
And you are correct. She has never cheated on you. You do not now and did not then "OWN" her life. It is importan... (read in full...)
My cousin has a Gf. And he and I flirt a lot. I am still a virgin. Should I agree to sex with him?
Q. Hi guys! Hope you can help me. I am a shy type of girl but i do flirted with my first cousin. Its my 3rd time to meet him last january. He's from jersey,he lives there, he's d same guy i wrote here last 2010 http://www.dearcup...
A. 4 October 2012: he is completely taking advantage of you by expecting you to share a room with you. Do not be embarassed to make a fuss. Under No circumstances should you put up with his rubbish about sharing a room. Contact the hotel booking people and insist on a ... (read in full...)
How do I move forward? and where to? I'm in a confused state over my sexual identity. I think dressing up as a woman is exciting. ButI identify as heterosexual. This isn't out of denial or fear of being gay or bisexual
Q. I'm in a pretty confusing place in terms of my sexual identity, so I thought I'd ask for some advice. In everyday life I identify as heterosexual, and to pre-empt the confusing aspects of me, this isn't out of denial or fear of being gay or bis...
A. 4 October 2012: I am sure that your Doctor may be able to refer you to a specialist counsellor who will be familiar with the issues you are facing.
I know it is not easy getting that counselling as promptly as you reall want.
So I am also including some interest... (read in full...)
My LDR has just told me he has met someone new and intends to marry her. Why am I so emotional over this change?
Q. My long distance boy friend has confirmed to me today that he has a new woman in his life and he may marry her. Why am I so sad and crying? Please help me. I am an adult and should know better than getting emotional. he wants me to write to h...
A. 4 October 2012:
Hi
You are under no obligation to write to him at all.
He made the choice. And if he really cared more about your feelings he would have told you earlier and with more empathy.
I don't believe he met the new woman yesterday.
He has hurt you... (read in full...)
My cousin has a Gf. And he and I flirt a lot. I am still a virgin. Should I agree to sex with him?
Q. Hi guys! Hope you can help me. I am a shy type of girl but i do flirted with my first cousin. Its my 3rd time to meet him last january. He's from jersey,he lives there, he's d same guy i wrote here last 2010 http://www.dearcup...
A. 4 October 2012: If you meet him at the airport bring a friend along. Do not spend time alone with him. Not even a minute.
Never mind about what others will 'Think' of you.
You need to show that you are not a pliable compliant puppet to be used for his pleasure... (read in full...)
I walked in on my 17 year old cousin masturbating. Do I need to set some boundaries, considering my freaked out reaction?
Q. hey, sonething happened to me this morning and its been freaking me out all day and ive been really confused. i totally forgot about you guys and i would really appreciate some help. I'm 18 years old and my cousin,17, has been living with me t...
A. 3 October 2012: I can understand your shock.
And you did freak out and with good reason.
Though I do think you could have collected yourself and made a faster exit from the room.
He behaved even more disrespectfully by continuing. He was putting on a 'show' and... (read in full...)
My cousin has a Gf. And he and I flirt a lot. I am still a virgin. Should I agree to sex with him?
Q. Hi guys! Hope you can help me. I am a shy type of girl but i do flirted with my first cousin. Its my 3rd time to meet him last january. He's from jersey,he lives there, he's d same guy i wrote here last 2010 http://www.dearcup...
A. 3 October 2012: Definitely not. This man is using you. And taking advantage of you.
And if you do agree to what he is asking then how long before he boasts about it or other family members start to see you as less honourable than they do now?
He has a girl frien... (read in full...)
Do people in work places always take sides like this? The woman who was disciplined (and unjustly) has been sacked and I don't think it's fair.
Q. Hello Aunts,this is a work relationship question. Recently two women where I work had a fall out, not major at all, but one reported the other to our manager. When the other came into work she got disciplined and she walked out as she didnt want t...
A. 2 October 2012: yes, a toxic work culture usually means that over the years management has recruited people like themselves.
It takes a person of principles to highlight how few principles the management have in that nasty workplace. But most times the person o... (read in full...)
I miss my little brother but can you understand why I felt I had to leave home? How can I get my health better? I feel my Mom expect too much of me.
Q. Well it’s kind of a weird question so I don’t know if I'll get much advice but I pray I do :) my mom recently adopted a baby boy over the summer. we brought him home from the hospital I even named him and have been raising him the past few months b...
A. 2 October 2012: Hi
Your health is abolutely number one as a priority. And your health must come first.
Even though there are some issues surrounding why you feel so protective towards your mother I applaud your grandfather for standing up for you and your hea... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't seem to understand my needs in bed
Q. First off I just want to say that I love my boyfriend to bits. We've been dating for a little over a year and we both lost our virginity after about 7 months. I don't have issues with how long he lasts and he really does try to do foreplay but it's ...
A. 30 September 2012: sadly i think your guy is just inexperienced and lacks insight into what is really required.
If you are able to purchase a vintage copy of 'the joy of sex' online then do so.
That way you can read out loud one chapter at a time, in bed with him... (read in full...)
Feel like I married both my husband and his sister -- and she doesn't like me
Q. I have been married for two years and was blindsided by a problem that he has: his sister. She was very friendly before the engagement and wanted to be my best friend. My husband and she are very close. They talk every day on the phone, lived ...
A. 30 September 2012: Can you invite the marriage celebrant to speak to you and your husband as a form of couples therapy and lay it all out in the open about how his sister tried to stop the relationship?
Does the sister have a partner of her own now?
Unplug the phon... (read in full...)
How to handle my disrespectful daughter?
Q. Hi all I need some advice on my daughter and I we stay in to it as a child growing up I had no problems out of her soon as she got her period at 14 she started to hate me .Now she is nineteen going out with this young punk he's twenty no job stays ...
A. 25 September 2012: Demoralising, energy sapping and confidence destroying. She is not your little girl anymore and sometimes it is hard to face another day when you look at how little respect she gives you. Zilch, I imagine? At the same time you love her dearly ... (read in full...)
Should I have another child or pursue a career?
Q. I just turned 36 and my husband is 50 and we have a 6 year’s old beautiful smart son together. Our marriage is not 100% perfect but it is ok. We have some financial issues at this moment but down the road we are in a good shape. My husband has a ...
A. 24 September 2012: What you decide, in discussion with your husband so that you arrive at a mutually acceptable outcome is something only you and your husband can decide.
All I can do is offer my feelings on this.
Most women's fertility declines a little every... (read in full...)
When they discover my religion guys take a step back!
Q. I always get a lot of attention from guys and have never felt insecure about anything. But recently I've realized that guys start looking at me differently as soon as they find out I am a Muslim. I live/study in Christian society so pretty much ...
A. 23 September 2012: often it is just Ignorance that leads to people behaving in this inappropriate way. If you find people suggesting rubbish about any group in any society then some verifiable facts and figures can often cause people to question their previous... (read in full...)
| *bella's friends
These are mutual friends, so *bella has
added them and they have added *bella!
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![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
