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I've added some new quotes today (but also kept the earlier ones below)
And the next two quotes are from a wise Uncle on this site called BrownWolf http://www.dearcupid.org/people/brownwolf
“I very thankful for the ounce of common sense I have...because sense is not that common. :) “
"Stay away from foolish people; they have nothing to teach you."
That quote about foolish people from BrownWolf is so true. A weak person cannot be trusted. With a strong person you have more certainty, they are not afraid to stand up and be counted when they are needed.
And I especially like BrownWolf's first quote above on common sense and so I asked BrownWolf for permission to replicate it here. BrownWolf then generously offered the second quote, above, as well.
When you meet a person for the first time, then imagine they are facing their biggest challenge ever:
With this mind-set it reminds us to be kind and use empathy because we can never truly know the extent of personal challenges a person is currently facing.
Badgering a person and humiliation with unreasonable demands for "I have to know" is more likely to harm than help. We do not "have to know". Be kind. Listen carefully and remain supportive. Then the person will willingly reveal more and feel safe to reveal more again.
We can never assume that things are much easier than things are for ourselves.
It encourages one to listen carefully and employ empathy in our dealings with others.
In life we face many things. But with each challenge we can grow a little stronger. When you meet a person with great strength of character it is possible that they grew that strength as a result of some very tough obstacles and some personal tragedies.
Never underestimate such a person.
Strength does not imply brutality nor cruelty and often not even physical strength.
A truly strong person will never seek to harm another. They know their strength and they know that kindness will move mountains more easily than brutality.
Then there is one of my favourites: Sun Tzu.
The wisdom of Sun Tzu is still as fresh as the day he wrote it 4000 years ago:
“A leader leads by example not by force. “
And now some less well known quotes:
“It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections.”
by Daisaku Ikeda
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
by Maya Angelou
“Challenges are what will make us stronger.”
by Zainab Alsaati
Respect other people's feelings. Even if it doesn't mean anything to you, it could mean everything to them. (quoted by many, but generally considered to be by 'unknown')
'As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.'.....Andrew Carnegie
I also respect the Chinese idea of "face" - there is no need to humiliate people. It demeans the one doing the demeaning. there are better ways to call a person to account with dignity. Focus on the Issue when there is a problem rather than be accusatory to the person
'Spilled water is hard to regain' (fù shu nán shou)
"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt,
kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate." .....Albert Schweitzer
'A sunny disposition is worth more than fortune.
Young people should know that it can be cultivated; that the mind like the body can be moved from the shade into sunshine'. .Andrew Carnegie
"We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds." ... Author Unknown, from A Great Life Lesson
“It always seems impossible until it's done.”... Nelson Mandella
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." .....Mother Teresa
"Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough." .....Franklin D. Roosevelt
'Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.'...Andrew Carnegie
what's your favourite quote?
But all is not sweetness, kindness and light in this complex world.
There really are afflicted and inadequate people in this world who get their pleasure from deliberately trying to hurt others.
They do this out of an inflated sense of their importance in the scheme of things. They feel entitled to be mean to others. They have become arrogant over the years.
Yet they are not the strong individuals they think they are. Instead they are passive aggressive bullies.
There are those afflicted with traits that are so petty and unkind that one wonders what has happened to make them that way?
Their arrogance will not allow them to step back and get help for their afflictions.
Instead, like a bull in a china shop, they just keep on head butting harder and harder, using the same tactics they've been using for years to try to get their own way.
What traits cause the problems for such insecure arrogant persons with an inflated sense of entitlement?
Here are a few of the afflictions that continually cause problems in their relationships:
Negativity?
Passive Aggression?
Being Hate filled towards those they see as ''less'' than themselves = everyone?
Envy
Jealousy
For those afflicted with those horrible traits all I can feel for these tormented souls is pity that they are beset with such inadequacies and negativity.
The traits result in them concocting a lie that they are the victims, when in reality they are instead the bullies, the overly judgmental and nasty arrogant persons who enjoy hurting others.
Just feel sorry for them and their inadequate responses.
Then go forth and find things to enjoy in life. Find the positive, find ways to be supportive and kind to others. It is win win in every way on all sides.
Turn your back on cruel unkind and bitter people. Leave them to scheme alone. Their negativity causes their faces to betray their bitterness within.
Their hearts harden and they wonder why others can be so unaffected by all their schemes to hurt others. They are the losers who think their nastiness towards others is justified. |
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22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 29 July 2016: and my list of Great Articles written by others needs an addition and here it is:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/just-some-fun.html
A little humour goes a long way.
The above article was published in 2008 and was written by one of th... (read in full...)
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http://www.dearcupid.org/question/wanted:-your-input-on-dearcupidorg.html
Great t... (read in full...)
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22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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A. 15 August 2015: this is not an article but it is a gorgeous answer that Missy_25 wrote in reply to a poster.
Missy_25 answered the following question - and her answer is worth pinning up somewhere prominent at home. Her advice was AAA all stars and I loved it... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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A. 21 May 2015: Dating tips. Thanks to a fairly new poster commenting on the following post I would see that this great contribution deserved to be in this compilation.
So here it is:
Need to think of some questions to ask on a date?
Below is a great list o... (read in full...)
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And dearcupid.org certainly does have a lot of w... (read in full...)
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A. 12 April 2015: GeeGee is a wise Aunt with three sons and some amazing life experience. She started dispensing advice at age 13 and is now a very busy grandmother. I've let her know that I thought her post was really relevant to teens today and so I am highlighting ... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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A. 2 March 2015: Relationships - it's not plain sailing sometimes.
Now the following is not from an article. But the answer from very wise Uncle wiseowle was so good to this question below that I am including the post in this compilation of really Great arti... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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One of the Uncles: mfj78 has written here:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/the-perills-of-looking-young.html
I love articles that really demonstrate a key is... (read in full...)
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Today I am adding a guide o teen dating w... (read in full...)
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A. 1 September 2014: I am adding a new Article to the DEAR CUPID Hall of Fame.
It is about DATING TIPS and deserves to be here with the Best
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/first-date-tips.html
Although it started off as a question it is so good that the ans... (read in full...)
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A. 28 June 2014: Online dating: Thank you Mark1978
I just added an article by Mark1978 to my list of TOP articles.
Mark1978 has just created this excellent article on online dating.
http://www.de... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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A. 29 May 2013: This compilation is so useful.
I just recommended three articles celebrated within this Article.
You can find out which articles I just recommended by clicking on to the link below.
My responses to the question below are all about datings. a... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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A. 1 March 2013: Thank you for reading the article on articles.
You Should be on the list of my favorite Articles DirtBall. You write some wonderful advice.
Not only is the article a great way to find a group of good articles I also hope it alerts people ne... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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A. 6 February 2013: Valentine’s Day – that special time each year for lovers. To some people Valentine’s day is very very special.
To others the day passes without another thought. So often people start thinking about Valentine’s day and need some ideas or some sup... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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A. 6 February 2013: When I see an outstanding Article I intend to add it to this resource. So I can easily find the article again in the future.
So now this resource holds 58 really Great Articles by really thoughtful and excellent Aunts and Uncles on this site.
... (read in full...)
How do I toughen myself up and keep from crying over the littlest things and getting too dependent on my boyfriend?
Q. Hi everyone. To start off, I am an extremely emotional person, I always have been since I was little. I used to be very dependent on my boyfriends in the past, always going from relationship to relationship because I loved the attention and felt ...
A. 26 October 2012: How sad that the first answer from the anonymous poster has disappeared. Well it was a great answer when I read it, and I gave it 5 stars... (read in full...)
When they discover my religion guys take a step back!
Q. I always get a lot of attention from guys and have never felt insecure about anything. But recently I've realized that guys start looking at me differently as soon as they find out I am a Muslim. I live/study in Christian society so pretty much ...
A. 23 September 2012: often it is just Ignorance that leads to people behaving in this inappropriate way. If you find people suggesting rubbish about any group in any society then some verifiable facts and figures can often cause people to question their previous... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 2 months creeps me out!
Q. My boyfriend and I have only been going out for about two months. Lately, though, it seems as if every little thing he does annoys me or creeps me out. He's constantly making fun of me and he brings the gift I gave him (a stuffed monkey) weeks ago ...
A. 22 September 2012: hi
First of all you are not responsible for his actions or his threatened actions. Nor for what you think he might do (which may not be on his mind at all)
Secondly he first and foremost must respect you.
Making fun of a gift is immature beh... (read in full...)
Not enough money for a wedding, should we elope?
Q. Ok so I'm newly engaged and the date is set for early 2014, after my fiance graduates from university. My problem is that my mom who would be paying for the wedding cannot afford it. Both me and my finance don't have our careers started yet, so ...
A. 20 September 2012: Hi
if you can gain the co-operation of friends, relatives and neighbors you should be able to create a lovely and memorable wedding celebration without the ruinous expense that so many people choose to spend. A really nice wedding does not have to c... (read in full...)
Cheating, Players, Betrayal and Trust issues. Should a Player or a Cheat be forgiven? - a collective resource on these issues, with some great responses that may help you.
Q. CHEATING Today the feature topics are Players and cheating and Trust issues or can you Forgive or should you forgive if your partner Cheats? And the collective wisdom on DearCupid.org on Cheating on Betrayal, Loss of Trust and Forgiveness or n...
A. 20 September 2012: Please feel free to add here the stories of the most diabolical cheating that you experienced and you dealt with, to the best of your ability
Success stories of overcoming a cheat will be very welcome. To add to this article... (read in full...)
How do I climb out of this pit of despair? People claim I'm worthless. My Bf called me a whore. Others call me names. I feel lost and need help please?
Q. i am 15 and I feel all alone. my friends have abandoned me. i have to sell my horses which are my life. i'm told all the time i'm not worth anything. people call me a slut and i'm faithful. i'v lost everyone in my life who ever made me feel wan...
A. 19 September 2012: I am truly sorry that you are surrounded by base people who are not worthy of you. There are better people in this world and the fact that you are distressed by these base cruel people means that you are NOT one of them. You know that there are ... (read in full...)
I am reluctant to leave my four year old daughter in the care of my younger sister while I'm away
Q. Hallo guys. I dont know if i am worrying over nothing. My husband is outside the country. And i am going to be visiting him soon for a whole month. My worry is my daughter who is only 4 and is in nursery. I plan to leave her with my kid sister wh...
A. 19 September 2012: I think Ciar's solution is a very good one.
Try several trial runs. I think that is very important. your daughter's well being must come first. She is a defenceless child and you will not enjoy the trip to see your husband if you are worried sick... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 19 September 2012: There can always be new variations and new issues that have not yet been asked and have not yet been posted on Dear Cupid. So if you are in love with your teacher or your lecturer then DO post your NEW question please
Sometimes some addition... (read in full...)
Told him I had a crush on him. But then remarks from a so called friend tried to ruin things.Could there be a chance he likes me?
Q. I ask this because my friends kind of kept bothering me XD and I am also nervous. You see, I finally told this guy I had a crush on him. He's very shy and quiet, rarely talks, always sleeping and yet he maintains a 4.0 ....he's very intelligent and ...
A. 18 September 2012: He may or may not like you.
he is shy, and lacks confidence perhaps? I think he was intrigued. But he may lack confidence to ask you out. Keep on being nice to you.
But it is always a better idea to let the guy iniitate things so that he thin... (read in full...)
Is this the way? I want to make him jealous. In retaliation for how he has treated me.
Q. i want to make my ex jealous. do you have any ideas on how to do this? He has always told me that i need him and we are meant to be together, but I am done. I think he wants me back, then dump me. Every two months he comes crawling back to me. I w...
A. 18 September 2012: if you want to make him jealous that means that you are still emotionally tangled up with him.
Until you untangle your emotional connection to him you will never escape this abusive relationship.
How much counselling have you had to help you ... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 18 September 2012: I am sending this article to a truly Dear friend today who I know is grieving today. Suicide leaves such a cruel legacy for those left behind.
Today I feel my wonderful Dear friend might benefit from this article.
If you are suffering, havin... (read in full...)
Can these online friends ever forgive me for making out I was someone else? I had good intentions but got out of my depth.
Q. well how do i start this. well im a girl and in this one chat room thing my friend(dont know her in real life) i had pretended i'm a boy and her friends and her think im a boy.(i decided to play a male role just because i wanted to see how it was ...
A. 17 September 2012: I guess a big problem that I see with these online chat places are the number of adults who pose as teenagers, with a view to eventually forming emotional bonds with the teen - with the ultimate aim of meeting the teen to form an abusive ... (read in full...)
Can these online friends ever forgive me for making out I was someone else? I had good intentions but got out of my depth.
Q. well how do i start this. well im a girl and in this one chat room thing my friend(dont know her in real life) i had pretended i'm a boy and her friends and her think im a boy.(i decided to play a male role just because i wanted to see how it was ...
A. 17 September 2012: hi
I don't think you need any mental health assistance,
I do applaud your decision to get out of the Chat room scene. And shut down the persona you created. Because it has become way too much more trouble than it's worth. All the other online p... (read in full...)
Is it true that a girl forgets her first love or the one she gave virginty to? Does my Gf miss him?
Q. Is it true that a girl forgets her first love or the one she gave virginty to ....???? I'm in relation wid her from one year ago She loves me to bits. Sometimes I feel bad that she had an awful former boyfriend who took my girl friend's virgin...
A. 17 September 2012: Hi
Sounds like you are well on the way and doing everything write to 'connect' with her and her family.
While you also work on your Mother , to get her support.
Just keep doing all these good things and things may start to improve.
I think you a... (read in full...)
What's my next move? She said she wants to hang out with me more before she makes a decision to date
Q. Hi everyone! I met someone at a venue I've been working at all summer. She's cute, she's fun to be around, and she's kinda nerdy like I am. I met her and thought she was cool but after seeing her more and more I started to like her. I realized ...
A. 17 September 2012: Hi
I think you have done everything right and I think your behaviour is completely IMPRESSIVE.
If that doesn't impress her AND the parents then they lack good insight into what is an honorable GOOD man who knows how to be a gentleman too.
St... (read in full...)
Can these online friends ever forgive me for making out I was someone else? I had good intentions but got out of my depth.
Q. well how do i start this. well im a girl and in this one chat room thing my friend(dont know her in real life) i had pretended i'm a boy and her friends and her think im a boy.(i decided to play a male role just because i wanted to see how it was ...
A. 17 September 2012: for the sake of your own emotional health i believe you need to remove yourself from this online scence. Close your account, delete your account.
Online is so risky.
At 13 it is fraught with even more problems.
People who claim to be 13 maybe 53.... (read in full...)
Is it true that a girl forgets her first love or the one she gave virginty to? Does my Gf miss him?
Q. Is it true that a girl forgets her first love or the one she gave virginty to ....???? I'm in relation wid her from one year ago She loves me to bits. Sometimes I feel bad that she had an awful former boyfriend who took my girl friend's virgin...
A. 16 September 2012: hi
Just talk about her and the good things about her to you Mother and see if your mother can slowly start to see the love in your heart about this girl
Slowly slowly work on your mother.
Ask your mother to notice her good points.
Your mother m... (read in full...)
Is it true that a girl forgets her first love or the one she gave virginty to? Does my Gf miss him?
Q. Is it true that a girl forgets her first love or the one she gave virginty to ....???? I'm in relation wid her from one year ago She loves me to bits. Sometimes I feel bad that she had an awful former boyfriend who took my girl friend's virgin...
A. 16 September 2012: i think you have a strong emotional connection to this girl.
And it is OK to ask, and receive as many replies as possible.
All nice replies I hope.
I even came across a question recently with 243 replies.
So keep on asking as much and as ofte... (read in full...)
Can I take cerazette now? Help me please.
Q. Ive recently started quite a active sexual relationship with my boyfriend. He can't wear condoms, which i'm not completely bothered about, as there is other contraception available. I am in the process of going on the implant (implanon) but i am cur...
A. 16 September 2012: hi
Go back to the Doctor asap. Get proper medical advice. You don't need to be mis-advised, only to have the patter of little feet a year or two before you planned to have them
the Doctor can give you the definitive answer, and put your mind at ... (read in full...)
I am left feeling like a nagging girlfriend!
Q. Hi agony aunts and uncles. My sister has told me she got some amazing advice on here, so I'm hoping you can help me too... My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 years. He has always been a bit selfish (with things like what films to wa...
A. 16 September 2012: I suspect that for a long time now you have been way too accommodating.
He needs to show more interest and more respect towards you and consult with you.
Three years together and he is treating you are not much more special than FWB.
And may... (read in full...)
Can these online friends ever forgive me for making out I was someone else? I had good intentions but got out of my depth.
Q. well how do i start this. well im a girl and in this one chat room thing my friend(dont know her in real life) i had pretended i'm a boy and her friends and her think im a boy.(i decided to play a male role just because i wanted to see how it was ...
A. 16 September 2012: I would like to see you FORGIVE YOURSELF.
Online stuff can be over-whelming if you lack the skills to handle it effectively.
You were well meaning. But I think you tried too hard to be 'nice' and it all got out of control.
If you were not a... (read in full...)
Excited to be engaged, but Mum has raised some questions!
Q. Hi there! So, after a few months being on a LDR my bf proposed a few weeks ago over dinner. WOW! We've been together for nearly 2 years (too soon to get married?) and of course I said yes yes yes and I wanted to jump and scream and let the world ...
A. 16 September 2012: Ah, he is Genuine. That is a Good suggestion.
That demonstrates that he is definitely Honourable and Genuine.
I think he is a 'keeper'... (read in full...)
Excited to be engaged, but Mum has raised some questions!
Q. Hi there! So, after a few months being on a LDR my bf proposed a few weeks ago over dinner. WOW! We've been together for nearly 2 years (too soon to get married?) and of course I said yes yes yes and I wanted to jump and scream and let the world ...
A. 16 September 2012: two years is quite long enough to get married.
I am surprised that he does not marry you now though. After two years he knows who you are and he knows how he feels.
3.5 years is a real stretch and you are no longer 20 - 25 you are already moving t... (read in full...)
What's my next move? She said she wants to hang out with me more before she makes a decision to date
Q. Hi everyone! I met someone at a venue I've been working at all summer. She's cute, she's fun to be around, and she's kinda nerdy like I am. I met her and thought she was cool but after seeing her more and more I started to like her. I realized ...
A. 16 September 2012: hi, lovely follow up, so good to read followups - i enjoy the feedback, thank you.
I think you are doing really well. She likes walking and talking with you. That's an excellent start.
She may have extra strict parents, as you have surmised... (read in full...)
We never go out on dates, he says I am too materialistic!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year. We are both twenty. We have had our ups and downs, to say the least. He never takes me out on dates. He says he is too poor because he needs to pay rent. But dinner or a movie once in a while? Is that ...
A. 16 September 2012: I'm thinking the same directions as TasteofIndia.
This guy needs to lighten up a little.
And he needs to open his mind to some more creative possibilities.
And anytime he expects you to pay 100% then it is time to introduce the 50:50 rule.
This ... (read in full...)
Should I text him or do nothing?
Q. This guy texted me about two weeks ago, wishing me a belated Happy Birthday. He had previously invited me out to lunch, so in this text he said he would be in touch soon to see when we can both get together for said "lunch". We are both very bu...
A. 15 September 2012: Yes guys do forget to phone, forget to text, forget to turn up. Though guys utterly besotted and in love will rarely forget.
But priorities are priorities and he may be overwhelmed in the new job.
Best you do nothing. Sadly a mention of "lunch" i... (read in full...)
What's my next move? She said she wants to hang out with me more before she makes a decision to date
Q. Hi everyone! I met someone at a venue I've been working at all summer. She's cute, she's fun to be around, and she's kinda nerdy like I am. I met her and thought she was cool but after seeing her more and more I started to like her. I realized ...
A. 15 September 2012: She sounds really smart and cool. What a great approach to observe how you behave and how you seem to her before she dates you.
Now is your time to keep on being a nice guy. Smile at her. Take and interest by listening to her without inte... (read in full...)
Is it true that a girl forgets her first love or the one she gave virginty to? Does my Gf miss him?
Q. Is it true that a girl forgets her first love or the one she gave virginty to ....???? I'm in relation wid her from one year ago She loves me to bits. Sometimes I feel bad that she had an awful former boyfriend who took my girl friend's virgin...
A. 15 September 2012: I imagine your girl friend is so happy that she has escaped the ugly old toad and has found her Prince Charming.
Kiss her and see the Princess in her too. She loves you.... (read in full...)
Is it a bad idea to get involved with an alcoholic?
Q. Is it possible or even advisable to have a relationship with a guy who has a serious drinking problem? I care for him deeply and he says he loves me.... but he is occasionally abusive and I have always stood up for myself but I just feel that I am ...
A. 15 September 2012: Completely bad in every way.
I grew up in a household with two alcoholics. It is why I will never drink alcohol.
The unpredictableness of it.
The yelling. The shouting. The screaming.
Then the humiliating situations brought about by an adul... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has been having sex with another girl behind my back.Am I a fool for wanting to stay and make this work?
Q. My boyfriend has always treated me like a princess. He is one of my best friends; we have the same friends, the same beliefs, and have known each other for a little over four years. We've been dating for 3 months short of two years. We moved into a ...
A. 15 September 2012: This is just a horrible situation. He charms you, explains to you and gives you plausible excuses and then he goes and
LIES to you, CHEATS behind your back, and has formed a regular EMOTIONAL relationship with another woman who no doubt thinks if s... (read in full...)
He forgot about the dating site? Could this just be a bit of his old types of behaviour coming back a bit?
Q. I am having a bit of a problem with my boyfriend at the moment...(We have been together 9 months and met through a mutual friend) We've recently had a few small issues, that are just like little arguments really, he's stressed with work and othe...
A. 15 September 2012: I think he sounds genuine. Everything he told you sounds plausible.
He is with you now. I think he cares. You noted his reaction to immediately confess that yes he did start it up earlier. He did not lie and deny things to you. That sounds genu... (read in full...)
Should I stay at his house?
Q. Dear cupids, I am faced with a challenge. I made up my mind to spend my school holiday this december with my boyfriend in his house in another state and tell my parents the school requested us to stay because of out fast approaching exams so as to ...
A. 15 September 2012: An extended time in his house he may pressure you for sex. Because he may mis-read your intentions and think you are giving him the green light for sex. which you are NOT doing.
Of course you can say NO to him. That would add another layer of unco... (read in full...)
My mother suffers. My Dad puts his own mother as first even ignoring his wife (my mother) if his mother or his sisters demand things. Should I confront family about this?
Q. Although this is not purely a love-relationship based question but I would like to hear your thoughts about this. This is about my family, my dad is a man who you call a mommy man, (I refer to my grandmother here) He is a man who loves his mo...
A. 15 September 2012: It would appear that your own mother has been downtrodden for years and treated as second best to his own mother and his own sisters.
Anything that could help your own mother to be more confident in herself and more assertive about asking for what... (read in full...)
How do I toughen myself up and keep from crying over the littlest things and getting too dependent on my boyfriend?
Q. Hi everyone. To start off, I am an extremely emotional person, I always have been since I was little. I used to be very dependent on my boyfriends in the past, always going from relationship to relationship because I loved the attention and felt ...
A. 15 September 2012: And if A reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2012):(the first answer you received) was a logged in poster I would want to give that answer 5 stars. It was a great answer - with really good advice too. I gave it 5 stars anyway.... (read in full...)
How do I toughen myself up and keep from crying over the littlest things and getting too dependent on my boyfriend?
Q. Hi everyone. To start off, I am an extremely emotional person, I always have been since I was little. I used to be very dependent on my boyfriends in the past, always going from relationship to relationship because I loved the attention and felt ...
A. 15 September 2012: A sense of humor always helps and being able to laugh at ourselves. But if you are feeling extra sad then that can be a little difficult, to see the funny side of life.
And some people are naturally positive and others are not. I think some peop... (read in full...)
My husband's children and grandchildren make me so unwelcome. What is the best way to handle this?
Q. What do you do when for seven years your husbands adult kids will not accept you? The x is nuts and my husband and I met when he had been divorced 4 years. My now husband's kids had been so mean to my daughter (26) till finally she will never h...
A. 15 September 2012: I suspect that you may be younger than your husband's first wife. Your husband needs to stand up for you, his wife.
And your own daughter deserves your full support.
Seven years is enough time indeed.
I think it is time for your husband to ... (read in full...)
I'm falling for my teacher. I've never been in love before, is this how it feels?
Q. I'm 16 and I've recently started college and there's a teacher there who teaches me Drama and at first, I thought 'oh wow, hello'. Like many other teenage girls do when they see some eye candy. That bit, I know is normal. But as time has gone on ...
A. 15 September 2012: great first answer from mirabelle1-3
I just gave her 5 stars for an Awesome answer.
And she has experience the situation first hand and her experience with this is recent, so I think that is exactly what you were seeking. brilliant answer.... (read in full...)
My fiance is joining the Army. She has cheated on me before and I'm scared she will again.
Q. So I'm not really sure how to go about this question so ill do the best I can I'm 20 years old Me and my fiance have been together for 3 years...I'm disabled and I'm basically her stay at home cleaning man...recently she has decided to join ...
A. 15 September 2012: I think YOuWish has made some really valid points. Worth thinking over her advice. Because anything that can make things better for the two of your has to be good.... (read in full...)
My fiance is joining the Army. She has cheated on me before and I'm scared she will again.
Q. So I'm not really sure how to go about this question so ill do the best I can I'm 20 years old Me and my fiance have been together for 3 years...I'm disabled and I'm basically her stay at home cleaning man...recently she has decided to join ...
A. 15 September 2012: rather than suspect her of potentially be a cheat I would instead turn it around and give her all your support to face what she may have to endure.
There are some great benefits from joining the Army.
But never underestimate how difficult it is go... (read in full...)
I got along great with my boyfriend's sister, until I found out she has gotten an abortion and doesn't seem to care about it.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 years now. In that time of course, I've got to know his family and the person I've always got on with the most is his sister. Most of my boyfriend's family are quite rough (swear a lot, drink etc) but his ...
A. 15 September 2012: Not everyone feels the same way about children. I love children and wish I had given birth to four but one more never eventuated. Things like that happen.
However in her case I wonder if the Doctor had some sobering news for her that made it a med... (read in full...)
I'm falling for my teacher. I've never been in love before, is this how it feels?
Q. I'm 16 and I've recently started college and there's a teacher there who teaches me Drama and at first, I thought 'oh wow, hello'. Like many other teenage girls do when they see some eye candy. That bit, I know is normal. But as time has gone on ...
A. 15 September 2012: You are not alone. So many have gone before you. And falling in love with anyone can lead to those fluttery feelings in your tummy. A light headed feeling like you could skip through a meadow.
And seeing your post was timely. I have just posted a... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 15 September 2012: Teacher Student Crushes keep on happening. Often the student wants to know if others understand their feelings
So today I thought I would create the Definitive resource on past advice on Students in love with their teacher or with a Crush on their... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 12 September 2012: Thank you anonymous, for your Recommendation for an Article that really Resonates with you, and no doubt many other readers.
And "I am here to help you" is indeed a big contributer on this site. Well spotted.
There is nothing worse than that hor... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 12 September 2012: This following question from 2010 has a response by Yos. There are 66 responses to this question on Retroactive Jealously from some amazing Aunts and Uncles in Dearcupid.org. Now Amazing Yos if you do not yet know it is, seriously, the BEST expo... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 2 September 2012: Now over 40 articles so far in this resource - the ones in the initial article at left, plus the additional articles I have added in through followups, including this new follow up.
And it is not finished yet. I am still going through lists of... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 1 September 2012: Another reason not to post an Article as Anonymous. I have been trawling through some Articles that might be almost impossible to find. Except some digging around has revealed four more articles from the past that deserve to be read again.
I cou... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 31 August 2012: Thank you So Very Confused.
I am not finished yet. Still looking for more good articles
Regards
Abella. ... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 31 August 2012: Thank you CTR
And I intend to add any article I need to find in a hurry and think might be useful in the future, be it an article published 4 years ago or 4 minutes ago
I can't guarantee to put up every article. Only the ones that I think might ... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 31 August 2012: I have just found some more articles that deserve to be added to the list of my favourites
This resource is already proving to be very useful when I go looking for that amazing article. wish I had thought of this earlier.
Here are the extra ar... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 1 June 2012: Thank you Maverick494 for your very understanding feedback. I truly appreciate your comments. Your post made me very reflectful. And that was, originally all I was going to say. But you inspired me to say more.
Interesting that you observed... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 10 December 2011: Hi Anonymous123 the feeling is mutual.
I know what a wonderful contribution you make to Dear Cupid too. Your really great advice is clearly appreciated by so many.
Best Wishes
Abella... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 4 December 2011: thank you Tisha, for you are amongst the wise people I refer to, when I think of inspiring wise people, who I have inspired me with their wisdom, logic and good commonsense.
Such people include two long term friends, a Nun, and of course my grea... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 3 December 2011: Christmas can be a tough time, for some. Especially the elderly, those far from home, those who have just split with a partner, or just suffered a tragic experience.
Remembering who is not around to share this time with you. The media feed you imag... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 2 December 2011: hi Jonas
No I don't believe in retribution nor in Karma.
Because if I did I would have to conclude that the 'plan' was cruel.
And I don't believe in 'everything happens for a reason' for that too would lead me to question what 'reason' cou... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 2 December 2011: hi Jonas,
I feel terrible that I did not respond earlier. The first time started to read your response and the second one I was so over-whelmed that one family could have to face so much. And I had to go back twice before I finished reading the ... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 4 August 2011: Hi Dodds,
I found your response moving too.
Thank you,
Your lovely understanding meant a lot to me,
Regards
Abella... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 5 July 2011: One DC person has made comment about this article. And needing to know more about how the second relationship progressed after losing my first husband and about going from being a widow with a child and how did I handle introducing a new man into my ... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 12 December 2010: Thank you C Grant (love the photo! Well chosen Avatar). You made my day on seeing you post. Your comments very much appreciate, regards Abella... (read in full...)
| *bella's friends
These are mutual friends, so *bella has
added them and they have added *bella!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
