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... Send *bella a private message | | | *bella's profile:"Always be Kinder than necessary"... J M Barrie
I've added some new quotes today (but also kept the earlier ones below)
And the next two quotes are from a wise Uncle on this site called BrownWolf http://www.dearcupid.org/people/brownwolf
“I very thankful for the ounce of common sense I have...because sense is not that common. :) “
"Stay away from foolish people; they have nothing to teach you."
That quote about foolish people from BrownWolf is so true. A weak person cannot be trusted. With a strong person you have more certainty, they are not afraid to stand up and be counted when they are needed.
And I especially like BrownWolf's first quote above on common sense and so I asked BrownWolf for permission to replicate it here. BrownWolf then generously offered the second quote, above, as well.
When you meet a person for the first time, then imagine they are facing their biggest challenge ever:
With this mind-set it reminds us to be kind and use empathy because we can never truly know the extent of personal challenges a person is currently facing.
Badgering a person and humiliation with unreasonable demands for "I have to know" is more likely to harm than help. We do not "have to know". Be kind. Listen carefully and remain supportive. Then the person will willingly reveal more and feel safe to reveal more again.
We can never assume that things are much easier than things are for ourselves.
It encourages one to listen carefully and employ empathy in our dealings with others.
In life we face many things. But with each challenge we can grow a little stronger. When you meet a person with great strength of character it is possible that they grew that strength as a result of some very tough obstacles and some personal tragedies.
Never underestimate such a person.
Strength does not imply brutality nor cruelty and often not even physical strength.
A truly strong person will never seek to harm another. They know their strength and they know that kindness will move mountains more easily than brutality.
Then there is one of my favourites: Sun Tzu.
The wisdom of Sun Tzu is still as fresh as the day he wrote it 4000 years ago:
“A leader leads by example not by force. “
And now some less well known quotes:
“It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections.”
by Daisaku Ikeda
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
by Maya Angelou
“Challenges are what will make us stronger.”
by Zainab Alsaati
Respect other people's feelings. Even if it doesn't mean anything to you, it could mean everything to them. (quoted by many, but generally considered to be by 'unknown')
'As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.'.....Andrew Carnegie
I also respect the Chinese idea of "face" - there is no need to humiliate people. It demeans the one doing the demeaning. there are better ways to call a person to account with dignity. Focus on the Issue when there is a problem rather than be accusatory to the person
'Spilled water is hard to regain' (fù shu nán shou)
"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt,
kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate." .....Albert Schweitzer
'A sunny disposition is worth more than fortune.
Young people should know that it can be cultivated; that the mind like the body can be moved from the shade into sunshine'. .Andrew Carnegie
"We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds." ... Author Unknown, from A Great Life Lesson
“It always seems impossible until it's done.”... Nelson Mandella
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." .....Mother Teresa
"Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough." .....Franklin D. Roosevelt
'Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.'...Andrew Carnegie
what's your favourite quote?
But all is not sweetness, kindness and light in this complex world.
There really are afflicted and inadequate people in this world who get their pleasure from deliberately trying to hurt others.
They do this out of an inflated sense of their importance in the scheme of things. They feel entitled to be mean to others. They have become arrogant over the years.
Yet they are not the strong individuals they think they are. Instead they are passive aggressive bullies.
There are those afflicted with traits that are so petty and unkind that one wonders what has happened to make them that way?
Their arrogance will not allow them to step back and get help for their afflictions.
Instead, like a bull in a china shop, they just keep on head butting harder and harder, using the same tactics they've been using for years to try to get their own way.
What traits cause the problems for such insecure arrogant persons with an inflated sense of entitlement?
Here are a few of the afflictions that continually cause problems in their relationships:
Negativity?
Passive Aggression?
Being Hate filled towards those they see as ''less'' than themselves = everyone?
Envy
Jealousy
For those afflicted with those horrible traits all I can feel for these tormented souls is pity that they are beset with such inadequacies and negativity.
The traits result in them concocting a lie that they are the victims, when in reality they are instead the bullies, the overly judgmental and nasty arrogant persons who enjoy hurting others.
Just feel sorry for them and their inadequate responses.
Then go forth and find things to enjoy in life. Find the positive, find ways to be supportive and kind to others. It is win win in every way on all sides.
Turn your back on cruel unkind and bitter people. Leave them to scheme alone. Their negativity causes their faces to betray their bitterness within.
Their hearts harden and they wonder why others can be so unaffected by all their schemes to hurt others. They are the losers who think their nastiness towards others is justified. |
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http://www.dearcupid.org/question/just-some-fun.html
A little humour goes a long way.
The above article was published in 2008 and was written by one of th... (read in full...)
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Great t... (read in full...)
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Missy_25 answered the following question - and her answer is worth pinning up somewhere prominent at home. Her advice was AAA all stars and I loved it... (read in full...)
Why are you on DearCupid?
Q. Someone asked me via PM "well you are here to help people" And someone else and I got to talking in message about that and I wonder... WHY do YOU post to DC? Are you here to help yourself? (or did you come to help yourself and stayed to help...
A. 3 July 2015: I like this question on dearcupid.org where the Original Poster asked why are you on DearCupid? So I am adding another PS.
This one is from @DearCupid1 on Twitter.com - where what the Aunts of Uncles dispense at dearcupid.org was described as Rand... (read in full...)
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A. 21 May 2015: Dating tips. Thanks to a fairly new poster commenting on the following post I would see that this great contribution deserved to be in this compilation.
So here it is:
Need to think of some questions to ask on a date?
Below is a great list o... (read in full...)
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And dearcupid.org certainly does have a lot of w... (read in full...)
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A. 12 April 2015: GeeGee is a wise Aunt with three sons and some amazing life experience. She started dispensing advice at age 13 and is now a very busy grandmother. I've let her know that I thought her post was really relevant to teens today and so I am highlighting ... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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A. 2 March 2015: Relationships - it's not plain sailing sometimes.
Now the following is not from an article. But the answer from very wise Uncle wiseowle was so good to this question below that I am including the post in this compilation of really Great arti... (read in full...)
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One of the Uncles: mfj78 has written here:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/the-perills-of-looking-young.html
I love articles that really demonstrate a key is... (read in full...)
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A. 1 September 2014: I am adding a new Article to the DEAR CUPID Hall of Fame.
It is about DATING TIPS and deserves to be here with the Best
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/first-date-tips.html
Although it started off as a question it is so good that the ans... (read in full...)
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A. 28 June 2014: Online dating: Thank you Mark1978
I just added an article by Mark1978 to my list of TOP articles.
Mark1978 has just created this excellent article on online dating.
http://www.de... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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A. 29 May 2013: This compilation is so useful.
I just recommended three articles celebrated within this Article.
You can find out which articles I just recommended by clicking on to the link below.
My responses to the question below are all about datings. a... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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A. 1 March 2013: Thank you for reading the article on articles.
You Should be on the list of my favorite Articles DirtBall. You write some wonderful advice.
Not only is the article a great way to find a group of good articles I also hope it alerts people ne... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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A. 6 February 2013: Valentine’s Day – that special time each year for lovers. To some people Valentine’s day is very very special.
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A. 6 February 2013: When I see an outstanding Article I intend to add it to this resource. So I can easily find the article again in the future.
So now this resource holds 58 really Great Articles by really thoughtful and excellent Aunts and Uncles on this site.
... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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A. 19 September 2012: There can always be new variations and new issues that have not yet been asked and have not yet been posted on Dear Cupid. So if you are in love with your teacher or your lecturer then DO post your NEW question please
Sometimes some addition... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
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A. 15 September 2012: Teacher Student Crushes keep on happening. Often the student wants to know if others understand their feelings
So today I thought I would create the Definitive resource on past advice on Students in love with their teacher or with a Crush on their... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 12 September 2012: Thank you anonymous, for your Recommendation for an Article that really Resonates with you, and no doubt many other readers.
And "I am here to help you" is indeed a big contributer on this site. Well spotted.
There is nothing worse than that hor... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 12 September 2012: This following question from 2010 has a response by Yos. There are 66 responses to this question on Retroactive Jealously from some amazing Aunts and Uncles in Dearcupid.org. Now Amazing Yos if you do not yet know it is, seriously, the BEST expo... (read in full...)
How do I draw him towards me in a subtle way so he thinks he is doing all the chasing? I'll text if I really have to.
Q. I have started liking a guy ( I havent had buttreflies for a guy in a good long while) so for me this is a bigish deal. Problem is we have hung out a couple of times and I can tell he is not nearly as into me as I am to him. He is always keen t...
A. 4 September 2012: hi
Ooh, he's a bit casual? That's hardly making a major effort. And not giving you much notice either.
I think i would suggest that, 'oh, i would have loved to, wish i'd known earlier, but i've already accepted an invitation to see friends tonight,... (read in full...)
How do I draw him towards me in a subtle way so he thinks he is doing all the chasing? I'll text if I really have to.
Q. I have started liking a guy ( I havent had buttreflies for a guy in a good long while) so for me this is a bigish deal. Problem is we have hung out a couple of times and I can tell he is not nearly as into me as I am to him. He is always keen t...
A. 3 September 2012: You are welcome.
If he is worth your time then he needs to find the time to woo you.
And if he cannot see the beauty and uniqueness within you, or he chooses to not find the time? Then it is his loss.
Fingers crossed for you that he sees the ... (read in full...)
Left an abusive relationship. Started again. Nice Bf now. How do I handle my own social anxiety and become more confident?
Q. I want to know what people think of this. Before I start ill give a bit of background, been with my partner 18 months, before that i was in a hurrendously abusive relationship where my partner cheated, and put me down (and i am aware this is proba...
A. 2 September 2012: what a lovely follow up.
Hope all goes well too.
Regards
Abella... (read in full...)
How do I draw him towards me in a subtle way so he thinks he is doing all the chasing? I'll text if I really have to.
Q. I have started liking a guy ( I havent had buttreflies for a guy in a good long while) so for me this is a bigish deal. Problem is we have hung out a couple of times and I can tell he is not nearly as into me as I am to him. He is always keen t...
A. 2 September 2012: Sit tight and don't even think of texting him.
Make sure you look nice if you accidentally run into him.
But let him do ALL the running. I mean you don't want t0 waste your time on a guy who is not willing to put in the hard yards and try to... (read in full...)
He offered me sex instead of a relationship!
Q. Should I be insulted that a guy Ive liked for a while has asked me to be his FWB or 'fuck buddy'? He says he doesnt want a relationship but wants to be more than friends. Im shocked and dont know what to say! Im 29 and hes 28, Im looking for a ...
A. 2 September 2012: He is a fool. Let him waste his time but don't let him waste your time.
Of course it is insulting.
He is saying he wants to take one part of you without the full range of things in a relationship. Just a pit-stop for sex and he will be on his w... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 2 September 2012: Now over 40 articles so far in this resource - the ones in the initial article at left, plus the additional articles I have added in through followups, including this new follow up.
And it is not finished yet. I am still going through lists of... (read in full...)
Do these boots make my butt look big and the lies we tell.
Q. LIES! All of us tell lies from time to time. Sometimes small innocent lies, sometimes big giant lies. Some lies save us from being yelled at by our partners and others make our partners scream at us. Why do we do it? Can we not just get by not ...
A. 2 September 2012: This is a good article and I am going to feature it in my favourite articles article because it is true
Well done Tux... (read in full...)
Left an abusive relationship. Started again. Nice Bf now. How do I handle my own social anxiety and become more confident?
Q. I want to know what people think of this. Before I start ill give a bit of background, been with my partner 18 months, before that i was in a hurrendously abusive relationship where my partner cheated, and put me down (and i am aware this is proba...
A. 2 September 2012: Well done that you got out of an Abusive relationship.That takes immense courage and inner strength and you did it. Many people suffer decades of abuse and never get the courage you found.
You new boyfriend needs to deal with his ex as that is ... (read in full...)
Want to break the ice with this new guy. Tips and guidance please?
Q. Hi. I am 15 and over the summer this family moved into a new building with a boy my age. We never talked to each other but we saw each other all the time passing in the parking lot. Now that school has started again we've seen each other once and...
A. 2 September 2012: A smile helps. And not being too pushy. Notice something nice about him or something interesting. Guys love it when you notice something about him that is important to him.
Check out the free blonde jokes online. I would love to post some but that... (read in full...)
My second Bf ever. He's older. Do I tell him I'm a virgin? Will that discourage him?
Q. I'm in high school and my boyfriend has been out of high school for a few years. I'm still virgin but he doesn't know it. We have only been dating for about a month. We have talked about our past and he has had more experience with other girls ...
A. 2 September 2012: The question of your virginity should not even be on the table yet. You have known him a month and he is older than you. How much older?
Please do not allow yourself to be manipulated, flattered, cajoled, pressured and mis-used all because ... (read in full...)
Why are you on DearCupid?
Q. Someone asked me via PM "well you are here to help people" And someone else and I got to talking in message about that and I wonder... WHY do YOU post to DC? Are you here to help yourself? (or did you come to help yourself and stayed to help...
A. 2 September 2012: I love answering questions on this site. And I love reading all answers that I have time to read. I especially love the great Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. As I think good articles are often a distilation of experience.
... (read in full...)
I'm short so how do I hit on women who are taller than me without them thinking I'm joking?
Q. I'm a short dude but I LOVE tall women. I'm appealing in every way except for my height. How do I hit on women who are a foot taller than me without having them think I'm joking?...
A. 1 September 2012: Give the girls a couple more years to become more open to this and you will not look back.
Think of men over the years who have become icons and who were short but who successfully attracted taller girls. Think of Dudley Moore, think of Tom Crui... (read in full...)
Before we do go ahead, and that is NOT yet: what should we consider before we have sex?
Q. I'll give a bit of background info first.. Basically My boyfriend and I have been going out almost two and a half years and the sex topic has come up quite a lot recently, we both agreed we aren't ready yet and that we're happy to wait for each oth...
A. 1 September 2012: It is a lot smarter to prepare yourself than to just hope it will all work out. I can still recall visiting the local library to try to find an anatomy book to see what all the bits look like (using a mirror had not occurred to me) and since my own ... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 1 September 2012: Another reason not to post an Article as Anonymous. I have been trawling through some Articles that might be almost impossible to find. Except some digging around has revealed four more articles from the past that deserve to be read again.
I cou... (read in full...)
I'm supposed to visit my German girlfriend in 12 days but I am unsure about this relationship
Q. [Moderator note: To give the aunts and uncles some background, here is a link to a question the OP submitted a few days ago http://www.dearcupid.org/question/does-my-long-distance-lover-really-love-me.html] I have ldr for a few months now, she ...
A. 1 September 2012: Hi
That is a lovely follow up
Thank you for that. You must be feeling very assured and very relieved
Regards
Abella... (read in full...)
I'm back and still in need of help in overcoming my obsession with her
Q. I have made two posts about this girl before if you remember me. Doesn't matter though if you do. I am ashamed to say but I am obsessed over this one girl and I need to know of some tips to get rid of this feeling. So basically like a month ago I ...
A. 1 September 2012: Hi
do you want to make it easier for people to read your two earlier posts? Because you must have posted the other two as anonymous. And you must have not posted any follow ups to those questions as I checked out your site on DearCupid.org and ther... (read in full...)
Can we help determine the sex of a baby by the position we have sex in?
Q. Ok guys . I hope you can help me. My husband wants a little girl. Right know we have 3 boys. My mother in law and her sisters told me to do all the work in bed. My husband should just lay there while im on top. Is that true? Apparently according to ...
A. 1 September 2012: hi
I have a friend who has five sons. She desperately wanted a daughter. she read up and was told to eat plenty of dairy prior to conception. And for some months after conception.
So she added in yoghurt, milk, add skim milk powder to mash pota... (read in full...)
My BF came back to me after he left me, and is now nervous around me. Why is this?
Q. Hi all, My BF left me for a while - about 6 weeks. we were having problems. Anyway he called me recentley and I had missed him terribly. Anyway, I stayed over with him last night ,and he was all over me, and actually looks and is acting really ...
A. 31 August 2012: He is serious. He does not want to lose you and he has sensed a tiny change in you. Though he does not know that your decision is that, at the moment, you have no intention of leaving him.
Because now he knows, after spending some time away fro... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 31 August 2012: Thank you So Very Confused.
I am not finished yet. Still looking for more good articles
Regards
Abella. ... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 31 August 2012: Thank you CTR
And I intend to add any article I need to find in a hurry and think might be useful in the future, be it an article published 4 years ago or 4 minutes ago
I can't guarantee to put up every article. Only the ones that I think might ... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 31 August 2012: I have just found some more articles that deserve to be added to the list of my favourites
This resource is already proving to be very useful when I go looking for that amazing article. wish I had thought of this earlier.
Here are the extra ar... (read in full...)
I can never get more than one date with a guy!
Q. Hi I know I'm young but I still end up feeling insecure and down about this topic. I have pretty much no romantic history at all e.g never been past a hug or been on more than one date. I keep feeling that I am unattractive and alone. I mean I can't ...
A. 31 August 2012: Most important skill is to listen more than you talk. And to help you listen you need the right approach and some good questions.
I can help you on that. Below is an article on 20 questions you can ask a date and allow your date to talk without any ... (read in full...)
I'm supposed to visit my German girlfriend in 12 days but I am unsure about this relationship
Q. [Moderator note: To give the aunts and uncles some background, here is a link to a question the OP submitted a few days ago http://www.dearcupid.org/question/does-my-long-distance-lover-really-love-me.html] I have ldr for a few months now, she ...
A. 31 August 2012: It sounds like the emotional connection is not there anymore. Falling in love with an image rather than the reality of the person is a big mistake. And in an LDR you are away from each other so much that the few times you connect it all seems ... (read in full...)
My ex now flirts with me and claims he married his new wife for the wrong reasons
Q. im 23 years old and a single mom. my sons father and i didnt work out because we had a lot of resentment towards each other during the pregnancy. now that we have gone through court and its been a few years for us to mature some we realize the mist...
A. 31 August 2012: Tell your ex that you would love to talk things over with him once his Divorce is finalised. He is using you and lying to you as well.... (read in full...)
Too Close For My Comfort
Q. I need advice. My 24 year old stepdaughter moved in with us. She quit a perfectly good job and came home. She doesn't clean up, she doesn't pay rent, she generally acts like she is still a child instead of the grown woman she is. My problem and...
A. 30 August 2012: Thank you for the follow up
The facts seem to be pointing in a sad direction.
She is 24 and prefers the company (physically) ofher father. Your husband does not seem to see the inappropriateness of it.
She has no need of a boyfriend while ... (read in full...)
My mother has done this and I don't think I want to talk to her moving on... am I in the wrong?
Q. I have always had a good relationship with my parents, even though they are seperated. My dad lives in a huge country house with his new wife and my mum did very well in the divorce and got a very nice peoperty in an affluent area and some cash. My ...
A. 30 August 2012: Yes, back off for a while, until emotions cool a little.
Both of your parents are being very hard on you. I do not think your mother was 'on the level' with you. I think the house ended up costing more than she expected and I think maybe it was a... (read in full...)
My daughter is getting in the way of my relationship with my husband!
Q. hi i have a 15year old daughter and her relationship with her stepfarther(my husband) is veryunnatural. they are to close. she gets away with almost everything. he doesn't see that there relationship is effecting our marrage. how do i deal with it. ...
A. 30 August 2012: PLease take control of the situation and set up some boudaries. At 15 it is a bit late to start this and it may not be easy.
I think some one on one time with your daughter to build the relationship would be a start.
You also need to ask your hus... (read in full...)
Too Close For My Comfort
Q. I need advice. My 24 year old stepdaughter moved in with us. She quit a perfectly good job and came home. She doesn't clean up, she doesn't pay rent, she generally acts like she is still a child instead of the grown woman she is. My problem and...
A. 30 August 2012: There is close and there is just not right.
You are completely justified in being concerned about the inappropriate contact between your step daughter and your husband.
I would also be concerned about this man whenever he is around any children... (read in full...)
Am I a bad person because I don't want things to change in our relationship regarding his kids?
Q. I need some advice on what to do. My bf of 2 years has 2 kids just starting their teenage years, which I have been through already and not sure if I can do it again. When we first got together we had them every other w/e and occasionally other ...
A. 30 August 2012: You are correct that Teenagers cost a whole lot more than younger children. Plus you are realistic enough to know that the ex is going to ensure that she maximises the benefits for her financially.
And sometimes teens grow into adults who still do... (read in full...)
Why do guys always cheat on me? whats wrong? could it be me?
Q. Please help! Any Advice is greatly appreciated. For some reason i always get cheated on! Or there is always another female in the picture. I am not ugly. To be honest, i often get hit on alot of the times i go out. I am very attractive. I sa...
A. 29 August 2012: Well first off I think it is important that you read an article by Anonymousmale1 to help you identify a player:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/10-situations-that-scream-hes-a-player.html
The next most important thing is to instigate a ... (read in full...)
How one person changed my life
Q. I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
A. 28 August 2012: this is a beautiful article.
It really touched me. What a journey you have been on. What an amazing awakening to the emotions and the happy and sad events in our world. I am so sorry you lost yor friend when you weres so young.
I know for me ... (read in full...)
Valentine's Day Gift Ideas
Q. Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
A. 28 August 2012: Etsy.com is my new favourite place to find really unique lovely gifts.
Just make sure you factor in shipping time
So it is no point in visiting the site the night before Valentines day.
I find the sellers so helpful and really nice.
And so many h... (read in full...)
I now have my dream coming to reality but I am so scared of the work life!
Q. Hey all basically i just graduated and after two failed interviews i obtained this job in the local authority that i really really wanted. Its social work child protection. Thing is, i have already spent 6months in a similar setting as a stu...
A. 28 August 2012: every work place has a culture and it sounds like this was an especially nasty workplace. Such nastiness should not happen but it does. But not everywhere.
Be more observant in the beginning. Certainly watch and learn. Initially the aim is to fi... (read in full...)
Any pointers on how to respond to mothers on menopause?
Q. My mom has had menopause for two years now, and it is getting progressively worse. She is very sensitive to medicine, so hormones are out of the question. Problem is that she treats me like trash, she starts nagging me about everything and a...
A. 28 August 2012: This cannot be blamed on menopause. Your Mom is being mean and she may be feeling bitter and twisted for a variety of reasons but she should get some counselling. She should not be taking it out on you.
She needs to see the doctor and be asse... (read in full...)
We broke up he wants to get back together. What if he comes back changed?
Q. Hi all, just wondered if u cud help. My by has split up with me yet again (we had just got back together) he used to do this all the time but up untill last time hadnt for a year. I have now realised that I am acting like a door mat and so asking ...
A. 28 August 2012: If he is older than 30 then who he is and how he handles problems is already well established and very often he will choose the same solutions in similar situations.
He sounds restless and currently does not know what he wants.
It is likely t... (read in full...)
Do women look at men's butts?
Q. Is it true that women look at mens butts like men look at theirs...!!??...
A. 28 August 2012: trust me, the ladies who like looking start learning in their teens but tell the truth about how much they really look after the age of 30:)... (read in full...)
Am I the best my older b/f can get? He makes me feel really bad!
Q. Help! I can't figure out what to do. I'm a beautiful, fit, extremely intelligent young woman with a great sense of humor and acceptance. I get along great with almost anyone. Most men I meet develop crushes on me, and a lot of women at work ar...
A. 28 August 2012: One way a (potentially pathetic?) guy sometimes uses to keep the Gf keen and still trying to impress him is to continually undermine and denigrate the Gf. So she starts to doubt if she is OK? and keeps on trying to please him.
He may be a delight ... (read in full...)
Why would this guy flirt with me and then tell my husband things bad about me?
Q. Hey everyone, I have had a huge crush on the guy next door for the past year. A day doesn't pass that I don't think about him. I know he has the same feelings for me too. The thing is we both had someone in our lives before living with. But I broke ...
A. 28 August 2012: CUT this former neighbor from your mind completely. Look away if you happen to see him. Stop even saying 'hi'.
This nasty neighbour just wants to make trouble for you.
What a base patheric trouble maker.
Do not acknowledge his existence.
if y... (read in full...)
Should I not play a song about my ex since people might think I'm not over her?
Q. I've not been writing songs for very long, and I find it quite hard to find "inspiration", but I wrote a few songs about a breakup from a serious relationship, back when it happened (about a year ago now) and have only recently got into a situation ...
A. 28 August 2012: Not at all. performing and presenting a performance about something that affected you deeply and made you feel emotional is likely to resonate with your audience. You may even have a song that will become a top hit.
Who hasn't broken up or lost ... (read in full...)
My ex told his sister that he would date me. How do I get it across that there's no chance for us again?
Q. So here it goes.. My ex and I have not spoken much at all since I broke up with him last December. We had a roller coaster relationship, on again off again for almost 2 years. He was my first boyfriend. I did everything for him, I was the only ...
A. 28 August 2012: The family may see you as the saviour who can keep their brother on the straight and narrow but you have seen that and been there and you do not want to go back to that life again.
He may have thought you cracking jokes about him was a 'come on' ... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend is a professional liar and cheat. How do I tell both new ladies about each other, without leading back to me?
Q. I am an ex of boyfriend who is professional liar and cheater... I left him after 18 months, but then I was shocked to accidently find secret accounts, dating site membership. Membership to secret email...(he left his IPAD open accidently in bathroom...
A. 27 August 2012: He's history and he's not worth the trouble. Better that you do something really nice for you.
So what might suit your situation?
A good quality ring that you choose?
A holiday In a Villa in Lago di Garda or similar
A cruise?
Do something real... (read in full...)
Taking care of my boyfriend's sick mother and he doesn't appreciate it
Q. My boyfriend's mother who lived in new jersey fell really sick,she fell of the stairs,broke her back literally couldn't move,nor eat or go to the toilet..my boyfriend who was in spain at the time could not make it to her at the earlierst so I ...
A. 27 August 2012: Also, to protect your own back, get the Doctor to give your boyfriend's mother a full check up just before you leave.
This is to check for any lesions, any bruises, and impending bed sore, any issues that can help demonstrate that under your care... (read in full...)
Taking care of my boyfriend's sick mother and he doesn't appreciate it
Q. My boyfriend's mother who lived in new jersey fell really sick,she fell of the stairs,broke her back literally couldn't move,nor eat or go to the toilet..my boyfriend who was in spain at the time could not make it to her at the earlierst so I ...
A. 27 August 2012: Sadly your boyfriend is a fool and his mother is in denial.
I have looked after my mother in law on a series of occasions for weeks or months at different time, and now all the time. As now as she has health issues. But I do not try to do it alon... (read in full...)
I love my wife but I am not sure I can live with her because of her slovenly habits
Q. I have been married for 20 years and each year my frustration grows. The basis of my frustration involves seemingly insignificant things which, over time, grow into issues for me. Let me give three examples: 1) Laundry My wife does not ...
A. 27 August 2012: According to Chinese Feng Shui a very untidy unclean home brings dis-harmony and arguments and affects the mood in the home.
You love your wife and you have been together a long time. So if the place was cleaner would that lift this big load off... (read in full...)
Do women look at men's butts?
Q. Is it true that women look at mens butts like men look at theirs...!!??...
A. 27 August 2012: Definitely and we don't stop looking, but we do it ever so discreetly. With the exception of my guy who is very proud of the fact his butt is very nice and will occasionally, tongue in cheek, invite me to compliment his butt. I know he likes ke... (read in full...)
Taking care of my boyfriend's sick mother and he doesn't appreciate it
Q. My boyfriend's mother who lived in new jersey fell really sick,she fell of the stairs,broke her back literally couldn't move,nor eat or go to the toilet..my boyfriend who was in spain at the time could not make it to her at the earlierst so I ...
A. 27 August 2012: Besides the age difference between the lady (who you have come to like) and the cultural differences (you have the Australian flag and I imagine the lady is a long term resident of New Jersey. Then there is the fact that you are the girl friend and ... (read in full...)
Why are you on DearCupid?
Q. Someone asked me via PM "well you are here to help people" And someone else and I got to talking in message about that and I wonder... WHY do YOU post to DC? Are you here to help yourself? (or did you come to help yourself and stayed to help...
A. 18 February 2012: EyesWideOpen is such a wit, is she not! Seriously though DearCupid.org is a wonderful site. And with the Changes imposed by Google.com it is up to everyone to spread the word about how good this site is. If Google.com is bent on disadvantaging go... (read in full...)
Why are you on DearCupid?
Q. Someone asked me via PM "well you are here to help people" And someone else and I got to talking in message about that and I wonder... WHY do YOU post to DC? Are you here to help yourself? (or did you come to help yourself and stayed to help...
A. 16 February 2012: ps: because I think thousands more people out there could be helped by DearCupid.org - but they have not yet seen the site. And I can only speak for myself. But I feel I may not be alone in this - and that is that often I spend additional time res... (read in full...)
Why are you on DearCupid?
Q. Someone asked me via PM "well you are here to help people" And someone else and I got to talking in message about that and I wonder... WHY do YOU post to DC? Are you here to help yourself? (or did you come to help yourself and stayed to help...
A. 16 February 2012: hi
I came across Dear Cupid by accident. And found it fascinating. I read through some questions and answers started coming into my head.
Then I read the guidelines and criteria and decided it was a really genuine honorable site.
Until I f... (read in full...)
| *bella's friends
These are mutual friends, so *bella has
added them and they have added *bella!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
