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I walked in on my 17 year old cousin masturbating. Do I need to set some boundaries, considering my freaked out reaction?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family, Sex, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 October 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 12 October 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

hey,

sonething happened to me this morning and its been freaking me out all day and ive been really confused. i totally forgot about you guys and i would really appreciate some help.

I'm 18 years old and my cousin,17, has been living with me the past couple of weeks.

In these 2 weeks we haven't had any awkward situations or anything. however, this morning i went into his room and he was masturbating. it was strange because we both just stopped.

i was looking at him and glancing down at him. he was just staring and me and he began to start masturbating again.

i couldnt take my eyes off him and he climaxed, i left the room.

ive avoided him all day and i really dotn know what to do?

why did this happen? he is good looking but ive never felt attracted to him

also, im pretty sure this isn't incest?

View related questions: cousin, incest, kissing, really wet

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

my question was cut a bit but thanks anyway for the help. i just needed time to reflect and I've realised that it was a bit wrong and we have resolved the situation.

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (3 October 2012):

Abella agony auntI can understand your shock.

And you did freak out and with good reason.

Though I do think you could have collected yourself and made a faster exit from the room.

He behaved even more disrespectfully by continuing. He was putting on a 'show' and probably got a little thrill out of it.

If you set some boundaries and ask him to comply, WILL he COMPLY? Or will be constantly snipe away at the edges with a view to getting you to eventually succumb to HIS sexual needs?

The outcome will be much less than positive if you allow things to continue with no boundaries.

The percentage of teenage relationships that break up is very high.

But imagine how much worse it will be if you start a relationship, then break up, and yet still have to see each other at family gatherings?

I think he is pushing you towards a situation that you may regret.

It is way too close for comfort and may be better if you choose to get a female to share the premises with you and send him back home to his family.

He is not boyfriend material.

He is your cousin.

He trying out what works and what does not work. But he is not ready to handle the fall-out. It has the potential to become icky. And may cause some concern in the family.

You do not have to be his "test dummy" for sex.

Guys under the age of 18 are often not into relationships as much as assignations to check out that all is in working order - for sex.

I don't think the two of you living together is working. Well it is not working in a way that is in your best interests.

You do not have to explain to family 'why' but I think it is time that one of you found alternative accomodation and made an exit from each other's immediate vicinity.

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A male reader, Garamba Nigeria +, writes (3 October 2012):

Don't worry just forget about it it has happen to me before.

i was masturbating when my cousin marched into the toilet

we both paused and stared at each other before she quickly ran away, but since then i was a bit guilty, but we later forgot about at and life went on and we are now best of friends.

And we pretended as if nothng has ever happened.

Never mind, life goes on and time heals wounds

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