| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi! So I dont really know what to do for this, but I'm afraid of my wedding. I'm not afraid of commitment or anything and Im not afraid to go to other peoples weddings- just afraid of my own. I start looking at venues or dresses and just panic. I worry about how I will look, dancing, Im afraid of what people will think of the wedding, even though it will be relatively small, maybe 30 people. Does any one have any solutions? Im just terrified of everything and everything revolving around me. Thanks in advance aunts and uncles!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2013): When my sister-in-law announced she got married for the second time she told me that they eloped, went to the courthouse in their jeans and got the marriage certificate. There was no reception planned for later, not even pictures of them getting married. That sounded as stress free as getting married could be.Since this is your first marriage and you are stressing, maybe you should think about eloping, or having a destination wedding, just the two of you on an island or on a cruise ship if you can afford that. Or just go to the courthouse and get married. Then announce afterwards that you got married and follow up with a reception if you so desire.If I had to do it all over again, that is what I would have done instead of all the hoopla and stress involved in getting a wedding pulled together.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (22 May 2013):
 You've goten some great - and widespread - advice here... as is typical on this site..... However, I don't see it ... so might offer this suggestion, if you do choose to go on with the larger wedding: Consider being hypnotized with the intention that the suggestion will be that you relax for the affair and not let your stress overcome you.... IF you would do so... be SURE to consult a well-regarded and qualified hypnotist... not just some Mesmerizer who is ill- or non-qualified...
A friend of my speaks well of hypnosis as a therapy, since it was the only successful way for him to overcome his addiction to cigarettes....
Good luck... and good fortunes, HOWEVER you tie the knot!
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (22 May 2013):
 If you have not planned any major functions in your life then a wedding may well seem a huge undertaking.
To help it seem less formidable you can break it down into sections.
Yes you and the groom will be the stars of the show but you will be surrounded by those who love you and only want the best for you and want to wish you happiness. If this is a problem then consider from pre-wedding counselling to get you through the nervous jitters about the special day.
First set a budget for the maximum you intend to spend and can afford, and then aim to come in under budget.
Try to delegate tasks, while you co-ordinate the whole event. As long as those, who you delegate the tasks to, are on the same page as you. It is Project Management. You are the Project Manager.
If you can afford a wedding planner then you can establish a contract where the wedding planner has to come in under budget and deliver what you want and on time, and for a price you can afford this, then this will free you of a lot of work.
Try to manage the costs that can get out of control. It is perfectly acceptable to tell the photographer how many photos to take at home, at the wedding venue and at the reception. Or even dispense with photos at the reception, if that suits you. These costs can blow completely out of control, if you do not manage the situation.
Always remember it is your wedding - for you and the groom. You both deserve to be respected. Especially if other family start pressuring either or both of you to have the wedding they think they would like to see occur. Even though it may be the wedding they wish they'd had, rather than the wedding you both want.
There are also hundreds of wedding planning sites online. But you don't have to have every single extra that anyone suggests.
If you keep on eating healthy food in the lead up to the wedding day, and get enough sleep and some regular exercise - then you will be the most radiant lovely bride on the day. No mattter what flowers you choose, no matter the dress you choose.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (22 May 2013):
 Do you have a date set?
Just elope if it's causing you this much stress, then have a reception afterwards.
Sounds like you are manufacturing your own fear, your mind is creating drama where none actually exists.
Start to observe yourself when you start to do this. Keep one part of yourself centered and watch the worrywart at work. Just observe, without judging.
Do you think you could do that?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 May 2013):
 if it bothers you that much then don't have a wedding.
go to the court house and get married there.
you can always renew your vows and have a big party when you are no longer so uncomfortable with the concept.
there is no rule that says you have to have a wedding.
to be honest, you could wear a burlap sack, fall off your shoes (btdt) no hair done, no make up and you will still be the most beautiful bride in the world to the one person it matters... your new husband.
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A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (22 May 2013):
Meet the rest of us there is hardly a woman that Does Not have panic attackks.Right now you will need some help with these panic attacks visit your doctor and he will be able to advise you However you could go with your boyfriend -just the 2 of you somewhere Romantic and get married.So whatever you decide I wish you long years of health happiness and peace.Have a lovely day every bride looks special.Happy Wishes Nora B.
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A
female
reader, Mariab  +, writes (22 May 2013):
 It's your wedding - YOUR DAY!!! For this day... you have to put you first! If you like a dress...then that's the dress for you. If you like a venue then ...its your venue... what people think... they will have to keep to themselves because this is your day to make of it what you want!!
Research your ideas on what you want it to look like... and go straight for that !!! Have fun with it too... it should be fun planning your wedding ...not nerves and tension.. GO WILD!! You don't get married everyday! xx
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