Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (22 July 2013):
 Hi
self confidence comes from INSIDE you not your OUTER you.
There are good looking guys who never get a girl because they do not believe in themselves.
Sure there are gorgeous guys who cannot help reel in the girls.
But there are also geeky not very fit guys who still get girls because they believe in themselves.
Perhaps consider that you have done everything to make your OUTER BODY just lovely.
Now is time to work on your INNER BELIEFS about who you think you are.
So here is your project for the next eight weeks.
Keep up the exercise but not quite as intense. So that you have time over for building the INNER MAN and the confidence within that INNER MAN - that is you.
Here is an article I wrote to help encourage a person to build more self confidence in themselves
You have shown you have the determination to improve your fitness. So you can put the same effort into building your self confidences.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/self-confidence---an-easy-step-by.html
My good wishes to you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI think I am obsessing over my body because I am afraid that if it's not "magazine/model quailty" girls will be disgusted by it. I'm going to try and learn to be confident and happy with myself
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 July 2013):
 IF you want definition the only way to do that is to work your core muscles and do weight training.
NOTE that muscle is DENSER than fat so that 5 pounds of fat takes up more room than 5 pounds of muscle so that you will be more compact but you may weigh more.
here is a link to a picture of the comparison:
http://www.onemorebite-weightloss.com/images/fat-v-muscle.jpg
also it's a very good idea at this point for you to see your doctor, get a clean bill of health and an idea of what is HEALTHY for you to be doing in terms of foods, supplements and exercise... too much of anything is as bad as too little.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes, I do. I'm going to start weight training in order to help me. I don't think it will happen over night but I would like to see more growth and progress
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (17 July 2013):
 Do you have a realistic expectation of where you can be?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm still working out because my body isn't what i expected it to be. My two choices are to keep losing or gain more muscle.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (16 July 2013):
Wasn't your stated goal to get your body fat percentage to 10%? You are there. What do you hope to accomplish beyond that?
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (16 July 2013):
Dear OP,
First of all, congrats! You already reached your goal of 10-12% body fat!! And you're working out a lot. If I was you, I'd keep in shape but not try to go any further regarding body fat loss. Less body fat would be unhealthy I guess. I thought your original goal was to be more defined and toned as well. In that case, I'd recommend you train less endurance in the classical way, like running. Go more for high intensity training. There's a new men's health book out on amazon, where they offer different workouts to help you define muscles and burn fat. These workouts are based on sports medicine as well, so it's not just a new hype, I guess. I got the female version of this book (there is one for men and a slightly easier one for women) and I'm really happy about the purchase.
Anyway, I hope you're not overdoing it by now and take care of your health, also of your joints.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI also jump rope on tuesday and thursday
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do body weight exercises as well as stretching. I used to do karate as a kid and I intend to start again next year. As far as maintenance is concerned I can maintain 60-62kg fairly easily so long as I don't gorge on fast food every week and run and exercise 3 times a week.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 July 2013):
I think you are thin enough... sometimes we have to accept that our bodies will NOT do what we want.
Personally I think what's better than working out hours and hours daily and depriving yourself 24/7 is to find a LIFESTYLE that works
an hour daily workout and eating well at least 80% of the time and making peace with your body is the only way to find happiness in life in terms of your body.
Once you get what you want how will you mange to sustain it?
so you are running... are you stretching (yoga) or weight lifting?
I know a guy in his 50s who got a great six pack from just eating well (he did South Beach diet) and doing TONS of yoga which is not as easy as folks think....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI run 6 days a week 5km on Monday, Wednesday and Friday and I sprint 400m on Tuesday and Thursday and on Saturday I have a light 2/3km jog. I'm currently running for time trying to get my times to 25mins and 1min respectively.
I'm wondering if increasing my distance or more sprint training will help me get past my current weight plateau?
I'm 60kg and my body fat% is 10%
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (30 June 2013):
Hi
I think regular lifting of some weights migh be your best option. Search YouTube for some demonstrations by physical exercise specialists on this topic,
They might have some additional tips on specific upper body exercises.
Your determination is truly admirable. And a credit to you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm not looking to become like a bodybuilder. I just feel that if I was to get a bit more size and definition to it, I'll be able to look more like I want to.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (30 June 2013):
Sometimes we just have to love and accept who we are. If I had ever wanted to be a concert pianist I would have lived my life in disappointment. Since I have tiny hands. However I like my tiny hands.
You are more than just your chest measurement. I think being in proportion really counts. Think of Will Smith? (Actor) he is in proportion for his height. I cannot think of any actor who I like where the (male) actor has a huge far too over-developed chest with bulging muscles. Those overly bulging muscles just look artificial to me.
Personally I find overly "built" only big muscles on a man's chest are a turnoff.
Are you are being a little tough on yourself? You are exercising and you are eating healthily. That alone will stand you in good stead when you reach 30 and 40 years of age.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have a "flat" stomach it's just that my body fat and body shape make me look pudgy. I think more upper body strength training will make my body look better(I have no chest!)
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (29 June 2013):
Hi
Start the day with some stretching exercise. And do some stretching before and after every exercise session.
Try adding in an extra mile per day of brisk walking, and swing your arms as you walk briskly.
Plus maybe add in 15 minutes of some skipping with a skipping rope.
Vary your exercise. Mix it up.
Find some fast catchy music that makes you want to move. Check out zumba exercises on youtube and hold your own class for one.
Try star jumps.
Try really fast running on the spot and move your arms fast at the same time.
Watch your portion control. Bigger portions can creep up on you if you don't keep an eye on portion control.
Drink plenty of water.
Do not starve yourself of food because that just wrecks your metabolism for the future.
Recognise that you may be one of those people who can never just eat whatever they like.
Try a low calorie soup for two days a week as your lunch and dinner. Have some boiled egg on those days if you feel extra hungry.
That means soup that ONLY contains lots of cabbage, lots of diced tomato, diced celery, one grated carrot, lots diced parsley, diced mint, finely diced onion, finely diced red bell pepper, zest only of one lemon.
The last few pounds are always the hardest.
It is obvious that you have done really well to have reached so close to your goal weight so soon. And well beyond your goal date.
Which means that to stay that goal weight right through and maintain that goal weight you will neeed to continue the exercise and continue to limit fatty or sugar laden food. So fried food is out. Sugar laden drinks are out.
I congratulate you for staying the course and do so well to date.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe last couple of pounds look like they are going to be murder to lose.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (18 June 2013):
Hi
Men have a more active metabolism than women and while that is a factor ALL CREDIT should go to you. Because coupled with your drive and enthusiasm and doing everything right means you are having success. Well done.
Regards
Abella
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI need to lose 7cm from my abdomen to reach my goal. I have already lost 5cm from when I began. I think I'll reach my goal a lot sooner than I anticipated
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (16 June 2013):
Hi
That's a great idea, another way is to measure your hips, waist and chest measurement once a week. This is then a irrefutable measureable statistic that shows your progress.
Make up a graph with your base measurements at the left and chart the changes each week.
the more you replace your fat with muscle then the better things will get. You replace that fat by plenty of exercise including using any form of lifting weights slowly and holding for a few seconds and repeat.
the weights don't need to be heavy. (see the example before of a used drink bottle filled with wet sand) - but the lifting, holding, then putting down the weight should be slow, and multiple times over a 30 minute time.
As you start losing weight you will also find your clothing becomes more loose.
Keep up the good work.
Regards
Abella
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (16 June 2013):
Hi
That's a great idea, another way is to measure your hips, waist and chest measurement once a week. This is then a irrefutable measureable statistic that shows your progress.
Make up a graph with your base measurements at the left and chart the changes each week.
the more you replace your fat with muscle then the better things will get. You replace that fat by plenty of exercise including using any form of lifting weights slowly and holding for a few seconds and repeat.
the weights don't need to be heavy. (see the example before of a used drink bottle filled with wet sand) - but the lifting, holding, then putting down the weight should be slow, and multiple times over a 30 minute time.
As you start losing weight you will also find your clothing becomes more loose.
Keep up the good work.
Regards
Abella
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've decided to take pictures of my body and record my current stats. From here I am going to workout and diet without checking the mirror or my weight for a month. I want to look at the changes I am making without being obsessive about it.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (13 June 2013):
You are doing really well.
Hold your head up high. That is really Good Progress.
Remind yourself to drink lots of water..
Comparisons for calories is interesting.
It's not always just the bread that is the issue, it's all that is put on to the bread.
But here is a comparison of calories:
the average sized boiled egg is 84 calories.
Six teaspoons of sugar is 100 calories
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A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (13 June 2013):
 Hi
Yea the jean 'fittings' are a good guide.
Well done you.
But try to keep the exercise regular, make it same as doing your teeth morning and/or eve. Just get in the habit.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am 64kg and my jeans are a much better fit now. I'm still fighting my addiction to bread but vegetables make up the bulk of my diet. I've been able to lose weight despite irregular exercising and week long relapse
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI was making good progress but then some stuff in my private life caused me to binge eat for a week. I'm starting again and hope I'll stop running to food when life gets me down
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (8 June 2013):
I do hope the vegetables and salads and three pieces of fruit a day are being incorporated into your day? You have been quiet for a week so I am hoping your exercise, weights, walking and your increased vegetable intake etc is going well.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat's good to hear. I forgot about that feature, my height and weight sometimes leads to people on the internet placing me in the wrong gender
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (28 May 2013):
Hi
I always thought you were Male. Your profile says so.
Regards
Abella
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (28 May 2013):
Hi
I always thought you were Male. Your profile says so.
Regards
Abella
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just realized people might think I am a woman! I should've specified my gender in the question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the recipes. I will try them out and update you on my progress.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (27 May 2013):
Hi
Well increasing your vegetables is crucial.
Fruit should be three pieces of fruit per day.
Ok - very pleased you have access to broccoli and cauliflower.
If you can't find a frozen packet of chinese vegetables you'll have to get creative and innovative.
So instead I would substitute cups of cauliflower florets , one cup of broccoli florets (meaning cut up to about the size
of a walnut) and one cup of pumpkin flesh diced into cubes about half an inch cubes. plunge all three into boiling water to soften a little, until the pumpkin is softer, then remove.
Then add into the chicken and onion etc mix and continue tossing together with the chicken etc and then serve.
Eating lots of vegetables and lots of colorful vegetables is the key.
I shall keep in mind what vegetables you have and think of something else as well.
Vegetables are really important.
And cut out cooking in oil except to the barest minimum
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (27 May 2013):
A daily serve on a plate for your main meal should result in the protein being no more than what would cover ONE of the inner palms of ONE your hands.
Vegetables should always exceed your protein. And the small amount of carbohydrate should not be more than half a cup.
The smallest portion on your plate should be any carbohydrate.
The smallest daily amount of anything is a tiny amount of fat or oil or similar. The chicken and vegetables recipe below has a teaspoon only of oil.
= = = = = = = = = = = = =
Boiled eggs cut in half are a great addition to a big bowl of salad as your lunch. Once you add the sliced boiled eggs you will see that you don't need any oily dressing to go over the salad.
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Spiced up Chicken and vegetables:
Here is a chicken recipe which you can play around with as far as the seasoning and the vegetables until it suits you. But you will notice that I have not added any of the things like potato or sweet potato. Nor beans.
It is chicken with a mass of vegetables and some spices.
And optional is half a cup of a carb to serve with it.
Chicken and vegetables
(1)One boneless chicken breast cut into long thin strips - set to one side for later.
(2) prepare the following:
Thinly slice two brown onions
Thinly slice the skin of two chilli peppers (or more if you like it hotter) into short thin strips
Thinly slice three sticks of celery into short thin strips..
A pinch of coriander, tiny pinch of pepper, ¼ teaspoon of grated fresh ginger (adjust seasonings to your taste)
I also add in teaspoon of chopped oregano - but I could not see that that was in much use in your country. So it is optional for you.
(3) Saute the ingredients listed above under (2) in a teaspoon of vegetable oil in a non-stick pan:
(4) Once the onions are well softened in the non-stick pan then add in the strips of chicken and continue cooking until the chicken is lightly browned on the outside and fully cooked through.
(5) Add in one whole packet of frozen Chinese vegetables and wilt them by cooking until the Chinese vegetables are softened but still have some “bite” to then
(6) add in four finely chopped tomato
(7) OR add in a cup of fresh tomato juice if you want an appearance of a ‘sauce’.
THEN:
(8) serve a large serve of the vegetables and some of the chicken with a half a cup of cooked rice on the side (no more than half a cup)
OR
(9) Make some cous cous - add in a half a cup of cous cous and half a cup of liquid and cook through to serve as a side dish with the vegetables and chicken. Serve no more than half a cup of the cooked cous cous to go with your chicken and vegetables
OR
(10)
To make the above go even further you can also cook some cabbage and serve that as a side dish with the chicken and vegetables.
NB: I don’t add salt to things I cook. So if you need salt then add salt to your taste.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@Abella Thank you for responding. I haven't been able to increase my vegetable intake but I have increase my fruit intake. The vegetables most commonly available to me are squash, pumpkin, spinach, green bell pepper, tomatoes, onions, cabbage, mushrooms, carrots and potatoes. There are a few others at the stores like broccoli, cauliflower, bean sprouts, Brussels sprouts and I don't know what else because I never really look.I have never heard of oregano but I think we have all possible spices here. and I have a very good access to eggs
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (27 May 2013):
Hi
That sounds good. What have you been able to do to increase your vegetable intake?
If you add some spices to thing and provide more heat that way the food can be more satisfying.
What vegetables do you have access to?
Do you have good access to eggs?
How familiar are you with things like Oregano and some spices?
Regards
Abella
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI weigh 65kg. I can't see any visible results but working out is getting easier for me, my main struggle is with my diet. I have reduced my portions and eating healthy when I can as well as removing sugar and salt from my diet
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for the advice. and @abella I will update this post every month. I think knowing people are paying attention to my progress will keep me motivated to achieve my goal
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (19 May 2013):
And I would love to see you use this question to write an update (as a reply to this question), once a month, or more if you want, to tell us how things are going with your quest.
Because there is a lot of support on this site and people will love giving you encouragement during your journey to super-fitness by Dec this year.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (19 May 2013):
I can see that your country is not USA so I will keep that in mind for any advice.
And you want a lowcost option so I will not suggest anything that's likely to be expensive.
Both exercise and your food intake are important.
For exercise I suggest that you do make use of 'Weights'. But not purchased gym weights. Instead find four large discarded plastic drink bottles. With lids.
Fill up two with water, and fill up two with wet sand. Cap each bottle with lids. From now on these are your weights.
There are a range of exercises you can do with weights. Check online.
Remember to do each weight exercise very slowly and deliberately. Repeat with each arm ten times each weight exercise.
Also get some really catchy dance music and exercise to the music for 30 minutes at a time. Moving is the name of the game. Move those hips, legs, arms.
Skipping. This is another cheap exercise. Skip on the spot for ten minutes at a time.
The aim is to get your heart rate up.
And walking or running. Aim for one hour a day at least running. Walk as much as you can.
Drink Water. Water, water water water.
Fill up one large container in the morning and aim for frequent glasses of water through the day. Drink no other fluids but water, this helps cleanse you out.
You must eat regularly. Even if you are busy every day. Take your lunch with you in the morning. Plan your meals in advance.
Quantity is important - insist on portion control at all times. If offered 'second' helpings the answer is NO. Always NO to a second helping. It is not rude to say no. It's about your health.
Inexpensive food that is healthy is the aim.
Sure you need protein but protein is not solely from meat.
One of the most perfectly balance meals (nutritionally) is baked beans on a slice of toast (with no more than a teaspoon of butter on the toast)
As others have correctly suggested - eggs are a great source of protein. Boil up three eggs until hard, then take them from the saucepan and then plunge them into cold water. Do not shell them. That way you can easily carry them - and thus boiled eggs are a great lunch-on-the-go that travels well. You shell them just before you eat them.
And take one unpeeled piece of fruit.
Make vegetables your friend. All vegetables can be used to create great meals. Add in some beans (measure out a small amount) and a small handful of nuts and you have a great meal.
When it comes to your evening meal you can make one chicken breast last for six meals. To do this you saute two thinly slice onions, the outside skin (not the white seeds within) of a red bell pepper, two sticks of celery finely diced - then to that add the chicken sliced into many long thin strips. Once cooked add in two cups of very finely diced carrot. Plus two large handfuls of leafy greens. Add in a cup of butter-beans that you soaked and cooked earlier. A desserspoonfull of Soy sauce if you can afford it. A teaspoon of diced or dried oregano if you can afford it.
Toss the vegetables through to wilt the greens and to heat up the diced carrot. Toss in a handful of nuts.
Serve alone. Or with a half a cup of cooked rice per person. No more than half cup of rice per person.
You do need to eat to maintain a fitness regime.
You do need a tiny amount of fat.
No frying in fat, no huge amount of oil nor any other sort of fat.
Turn your back on huge amounts of grains, breads, sweet things,
Make sure the fruit and vegetables you eat are very colorful.
Do not reward yourself with food. Food must not be a treat you give to you.
Food is your friend and a tool to get you to fitness. Treat food with respect. Sit down to eat. Never eat while moving.
Use affirmations every day. Congratulate yourself daily out loud (in private) about anything you have done well.
Or better still start a small written achievements booklet.
Write down the actual food you ate and the quantity every day and what time you ate it.
Write down what exercise you did each day and for how long you did each exercise.
Write down daily something that made you happy. Or that you did well.
Don't allow any unfit friends to try to sabotage your good efforts. Stay focused on the goal ahead.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29 +, writes (18 May 2013):
Dear OP,
I am the wrong person to ask for diet advice, but please, no matter what you eat, you also want to exercise. That's really important. Because building muscle burns body fat and calories. And it gives you a nicer shape.
There are a lot (!) of free youtube exercise videos that are really good. One series is "strong like susan" and she presents a really tough ab workout for every day for 30 days in a row. She doesn't need a lot of equipment, most of the time none at all, so you won't have to buy expensive stuff. You can also download longer exercise videos from youtube with a free software called clipgrab. That way, you can repeat the exercise videos as often as you like.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (18 May 2013):
hi
Sit-ups! Swimming, skipping, running, start slowly and build up.
As for diet lots of veg and fruit. Try looking up high carb diets/recipes on the internet. Never eat a big meal late at night. Have a breakfast that fills you ie porridge oats with sliced banana on it. Use low fat milk.
If you want it it's do-able
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2013): Running! Cheap and most effective.
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A
female
reader, HeresBoo  +, writes (18 May 2013):
 I believe it is achievable. Go for a half hour walk everyday, no exceptions unless injured. Also decrease portion sizes and eat healthily. An easy cheap snack is celery (you burn more calories eating celery than you gain from the food) or sunflower seed/nuts/sultanas mix. Use fresh ingredients and make sure you read the nutritional information (look out for saturated fats and high salt - you don't want that). Cut down your salt intake and if you have a smart phone, check if an app like "MyFitnessPal" is available and use that to help you! It's great because you can scan the barcodes from packaged food and it will give you a healthier brand or option :)Another great habit to get into is drinking plenty of water and always staying hydrated. The healthier your body is, the easier it is to lose weight, I find, as you're not fighting it anymore :)Sit ups and oblique exercises will help tone later on :)
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A
male
reader, Hennessy1989 +, writes (18 May 2013):
 It is very achievable, running on the streets costs nothing, also running is the best form of exercise for fat burning. Cut out unhealthy snacks. Sit ups will help tone your stomach. Start off with light jogging, it will be tough at first but you will suprised how quickly your fitness will improve. It's all about how much you want it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2013): Hi, I dropped a fair amount of body fat following the paleo diet. Further more I did a "cut" - its not quite paleo with rice involved but the ideais to carb cycle. This will help your metabolism kick off. Day 1: Red meat and nuts for breakfast. Chicken / fish and vegetables (ideally a kilo of veg) for the rest of the day. Day 2: same as day 1 plus 100g brown rice (weighed before cooking!) Day 3: same as day 1 plus 150g brown rice Then you do the three day cycle again. I would avoid gluten and dairy and sugar. It's a high fat diet but there are studies shown that it is not bad for your cholesterol - doctor says mine is perfect! Also eating about 20 fish oils a day alone is very beneficial! I also take a teaspoon of Ceylon cinnamon a day - this helps with insulin sensitivity - which in turn helps with body fat. The cycling is not meant as a long term solution but it will help cut cravings (zinc supplements are good for cravings too)Main thing for me is eat a big breakfast and cut out gluten and sugar. I now have (nice not bodybuilder) muscle definition as I combine it with weight training... No more running!!Good luck I hope it helps!
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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: