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Is this the way? I want to make him jealous. In retaliation for how he has treated me.

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 September 2012) 9 Answers - (Newest, 18 September 2012)
A female Australia age 30-35, *exy babe1980 writes:

i want to make my ex jealous.

do you have any ideas on how to do this?

He has always told me that i need him and we are meant to be together, but I am done.

I think he wants me back, then dump me.

Every two months he comes crawling back to me.

I want to make him jealous and show him that I deserve better than the way he treats me.

Please help me?

thank you for taking you time to read this

View related questions: jealous, my ex

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States + , writes (18 September 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntDo not try to make him jealous. LIVING well is the best revenge… he won’t be jealous… it’s not about YOU it’s all about him.

BEST thing to do to get back at him… block him… no phone, no email no facebook no twitter… BLOCK HIM totally. IGNORE HIM get on with your life…

That will really piss him off.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2012):

DON'T allow him to treat you like that!

DON'T entertain him when he comes crawling back!

Move on, find somebody who will treat you with the love and respect you're looking for.

He'll soon get the message that he's not the be all and end all in your life, but YOU'VE got to do YOUR part to NOT allow him to keep treating you this way, otherwise all you're doing is playing games and scoring points with each other and getting nowhere.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2012):

"i want to make my ex jealous.

do you have any ideas on how to do this?"

No. What you are asking is impossible. He neither loves nor respects you; nothing you do, say or possess can make him feel threatened, insecure, fearful or anxious, so there's nothing over which you can make him jealous.

"I think he wants me back, then dump me.

Every two months he comes crawling back to me."

He strings you along by dumping you, making you jealous, and then on cue every two months he weasels his way back into your affections with the same old BS and you fall for it every time, playing to your ego and vanity and emotions to override your brains and backbone and good judgement.

"I want to make him jealous and show him that I deserve better than the way he treats me."

You can't make him jealous and he already knows you deserve better than they way he treats you, but you're willing to lower your standards and settle for much less,

otherwise you wouldn't keep taking him back and allowing it over and over and over. That you're looking to make a scumbag like him jealous in retaliation for the way he has treated you only serves to demonstrate the hold he has over you.

Only ways to make slime like him jealous and retaliate against him would have been by responding to first show of disrespect by turning your back on him and walking away with self-respect, pride, dignity intact while keeping eyes forward and instantly forgetting he ever existed.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (18 September 2012):

Honeypie agony auntStop taking him back.

And honestly, if you were 15-16 I can see why you would want to play those games, but really at your age? Come on!

Being petty is not going to make him want you more, or make you feel good about yourself... maybe... short term, but then you have to live with acting like that too and.. who knows if anything you do will actually affect him anyways.

And if you think you deserve better, then STOP taking him back, find a man who WILL treat you the way you deserve.

You keep ding the same thing over and over with the same result.. Ask yourself why. And ask yourself why you don't think you deserve better then him.....

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A male reader, no nonsense Aidan United Kingdom +, writes (18 September 2012):

How ridiculous! Stop being so childish. You haven’t actually said what’s wrong with the way he treats you, but whatever he’s done the sensible thing to do is either stay or go. There is absolutely no point in pointless retaliation, plus if he still has feelings for you it’s cruel to try and make him jealous and rub it in that it’s over anyway, whatever he’s done. So do the decent thing: forget these silly notions of getting him back, and decide whether you want to be with him or not, and if not go your separate ways and keep your distance, and be honest with him about the fact that it’s over. Be dignified!

I wish you all the very best.

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A female reader, Abella United States + , writes (18 September 2012):

Abella agony auntif you want to make him jealous that means that you are still emotionally tangled up with him.

Until you untangle your emotional connection to him you will never escape this abusive relationship.

How much counselling have you had to help you extricate yourself from this abusive unsatisfactory relationship? Your Flag says Australia so here is a link to marriage counselling in Australia - http://www.relationships.org.au/what-we-do/services/counselling and you can phone them in Australia on 1300364277

The ONLY person who needs to be convinced about the unsatisfactory state of this relationship is YOU

Abuse goes in cycles. The first stage is when a potential abuser shows interest in you. It is called The Honeymoon stage. And it is the Most dangerous stage. Recognise the signs and you will never suffer an abusive relationship again. Once the Abuser has you ‘sucked in’ the abuser will start mild forms of abuse. But the abuse level keeps on escalating until the Abuser reaches a Crescendo of abuse. And then acts sorry, ‘Honey, I will never do that again’

Here is the article you need to read: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/the-honeymoon-stage-in-an-abusive-relationship-and.html

Trying to make him jealous – when you do not need to do that – will only result in more scorn and nastiness from him. It may even escalate the conflict. It is not in your best interests.

Looking at the real situation and starting to make plans that BEST SUPPORT YOU is the way to move on. Finding ways to improve your own self esteem will help you grow more resilient and stronger to face life. Instead of wasting your time on trying to make him jealous you would achieve far more positive results if you worked on building new supports into your life. And moving on from him.

When you no longer feel any emotion about him. When you do not care anymore what he does and where he goes and who he sees THEN you will know that you have truly moved on and he cannot push your buttons any more.

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A male reader, SensitiveBloke United Kingdom + , writes (18 September 2012):

SensitiveBloke agony auntThe best way to move forward is not by playing childish games. This shows you've not moved on at all. You'll only cause more agro for both of you.

If you've decided you don't want to be with him, then you don't want to be with him. You've presumably told him the reasons why, so nothing more needs to be said.

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A female reader, lmao1989 United Kingdom +, writes (18 September 2012):

lmao1989 agony auntWhy don't you go out get a man and show him the good life you're having without him with other men that you are not tied down too?

Even if it's guy friends try to get them on board just show him you don't need him you're fine on your own and you don't need him back.

Show him you're enjoying your life and couldn't be happier.

Hope this helps.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2012):

i really think you should reconsider making him jealous at all and be the mature one. it's obvious he doesn't know what he wants and uses you as a doormat. but come on, in 'retaliation' you have to be the mature one. you can't expect to have anything good come out of this if your way of dealing with him is to be petty. he treated you badly, yes, and he deserves to somewhat pay for that, but not from you. Karma's a bitch and know that if you treat him badly in return for what he had done to you, as in making him jealous, Karma won't waste time and turn on you. And trust me i speak from experience.

Be mature, and the next time he tries to crawl back tell him plain and simple that you are done. You've made your decision and HE is going to have to grow the hell up and live with that.

Pettiness is for teenagers and it never helps. Try making him jealous it will be obvious to everyone and people will look at you as the petty, bitter ex. Take the high road, people will look at him as the ass that he seems to be.

hope it helps.

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