A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:In September off 2011, I had way too much to drink. I was lucky I did not die from alcohol poisoning. After that day, I have not drank any alcoholic bevages.The problem is my sister-in-law and her family. They keep on trying to get me to drink beer. They keep on making comments like "It is five o'clock somewhere".How can I make them understand that I do not want to drink and they should mind their own business?
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (1 January 2013):
 People can be so insensitive and persistent when it comes to drinking. I have lots of fun and enjoy myself when we go out. Except I do not drink alcohol. This really seems to bother some people. But I have strategies.
Although I have chosen to never drink I still occasionally find that people make a really big deal about it.
(1) First I am polite. No thank you.
(2) Then if they persist I let them know that I have my preferred drinks and alcohol is not on my list
(3) IF they are rude enough to persist (some people are) and and my "NO thank you again" will not suffice I move away from them if I can.
But sadly some people, especially if they are drinking alcohol and I am not drinking alcohol just cannot let it rest.
(4) If they then try to grill me on "why don't you drink alcohol and try to embarass me then I will let them know as factually as possible what made me so determined to never drink alcohol. Usually that is enough to sober them up and stop being boring.
(5) But then you get these persistent ignorant people who may not know me very well, otherwise they would not keep going on and on and on.
At that point I try to position myself near to something like a plant pot or a balcony edge at a party. or near a garden bed at a party.
So the hostess insists that i MUST have some champagne for the toast, despite me going through (1) to (4) above.
I have often observed that the people who try the hardest to get me to drink alcohol actually have a drinking problem themselves. I mean slurring words and a bit verbally abusive. So they are the ones with the problem not me. If I find I am enduring such types and I am in a private home and it is becoming very tiresome then once in a while I have had to resort to drastic measures.
(6) Drastic measures. So at that point I accept the glass of champagne and then pour it into the petunia nearest potted plant. And say No thank you again. And put the empty glass down beside me.
I actually once had a hostess and her husband who just refused to understand how able I am to resist such pressure. They gave up after I poured the fourth glass of champagne into the plant.
Truly I am over people who think they can MAKE me drink alcohol. If I encounter people rude enough to get to (5) then I don't see why I need to spare their feelings since they are choosing to goad me mercilessly into drinking alcohol.
Fortunately I have not had to resort to anything beyond (1) for a long time now as most people are well mannered to accept that NO means NO.
when I go out to a public venue I let the waiter know very early on that I will not be needing the wine glass. First I turn the glass upside down. Then I let the waiter know that he can remove the glass.
If I know that a toast is coming up then I make sure I have some sparkling mineral water with a slice of lemon ready.
It is becoming much easier now to go out and not drink. But when I was 18,19, 20 , 21 etc the pressure on me was fierce and continuous.
People then just did not seem to understand that one can have a perfectly good time without alcohol.
By the way I have friends who do drink and friends who do not drink and we all get on well. I do not judge anyone who chooses to drink alcohol and I expect the same acceptance and courtesy about my decision to not drink alcohol.
Sometimes I miss (when we go out) that I don't get to drink from all the pretty shaped glasses.
So at home I will serve drinks in all manner of pretty shaped glasses. Orange juice in a brandy ballon is fun. Lemonade in a fluted champagne glass with a strawberry over the side of the rim gives the lemonade a sense of occasion. So I don't miss out on that part of the fun.
And I love pretty straws in summer drinks.
Enjoy yourself and hold your head up high. You have made a decision as is your right to do so.
No one can force you and or should anyone try to force you to do something that you have decided not to do.
To persist in trying to force you to bend to their will is just ignorance and rudenss on their part.
If they persist you could even refuse their next invitation or tell them that you can only accept their invitation if they will drop the unwanted pressure on you about drinking alcohol.
You have a right to be respected for any personal decision you make.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2013): I really understand where you are coming from I have been clean for nine years and my family can't except it they want me to have wine coolers I told them no I don 't need alcohol anymore I really didn't need it at first but I used it as my comfort during my struggles but I let go and now it's a new day and I am feeling great.So keep up the great job you can do it!:) Happy New Year
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (1 January 2013):
 "It's 5 o'clock somewhere" sounds like they just think that you're being modest, and maybe they don't know that you've quit completely. It sounds like they want you to be comfortable cutting loose - maybe they think you're shy.
I'm not sure how often you have to interact with them... I'd just bring my own bottles of ginger ale or root beer along with me, and continuously tell them, "I've quit drinking... but I have something delicious for me, thanks!". If it persists, have a more serious talk with them and tell them that you had a terrible event regarding alcohol, and you have quit because it was a bit of a problem for you. That you don't mind them drinking, but you really wish they'd stop pressing you to join. Remind them that you enjoy their company, and don't mind being DD, but you are not going to be drinking with them.
Best of luck!! :)
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (1 January 2013):
 This is your time to blend in with the surroundings and not let yourself take a martyr position......
If/when others offer liquor to you, you can simply decline, politely.... "No thanks, I'll have a soda (or juice, or, whatever...)" Don't assume that they are trying to push alcohol on to you.... only that THEY are imbibing and see themselves as being polite to offer some (alcohol) to you, as well....
Over time, they will "learn" that you aren't interested, and the invites (to drink) should cease....
Good luck... and congratulations on staying away from alcohol... (This, from a guy who used to abuse alcohol, himself)....
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