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Is it legal to be with your "First Cousin, Once Removed"?

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Question - (27 February 2008) 7 Answers - (Newest, 9 February 2013)
A age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I was just wondering if it was legal to be with your "First Cousin, Once Remeoved"? You see I'm in love with him and he doesn't know yet. I plan to tell him though. However I don't know about my question...I thought for the longest time that he was my "Second Cousin", but I just found out he's not. So, I'd just like to know if it's legal or not. Not nesseserely marrige, but just have a relationship. And as I said before, he doesn't know but if I get the chance to tell him (got to get him alone first), I will. So does anyone know?

Off topic note: This account is not mine, it belongs to a friend of mine (who has a simular issue to mine...very). And this is why I remain anonymous. That is all.

View related questions: cousin

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A female reader, Caprice_sweetheart United States +, writes (9 February 2013):

I am also needing the answer to this question, I seen it is legal in all 50 states too and I hope that is true. I see nothing wrong with it... You can't help who you love. As all as your both happy that is all that should matter. I am deeply in love with my first cousin, once removed and I said it proudly.

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (7 February 2013):

Abella agony auntIt all depends on where you live

And in some countries where cousin marriage and cousins once removed marriages are very common there is an increased level of birth defects. = see last link at the end of this answer

COUSIN marriages in USA

http://www.11points.com/Dating-Sex/11_State_Laws_About_Marrying_Your_Cousins,_From_Strictest_to_Loosest

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cousin_marriage

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cousin_marriage_law_in_the_United_States_by_state

- though aspects of the article contradict other parts - so this is NOT legal advice but is opinion of an individual

http://marriage.about.com/cs/marriagelicenses/a/cousin.htm

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-a-relationship-with-a-third-cousin-incestuous.html

Problems with too close cousins marrying

In this question (see below) I posted a response about the level of birth defects and issues when there is too close intermarriage with cousins.

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/its-legal-in-my-country-to-marry-a.html

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A female reader, Caprice_sweetheart United States +, writes (7 February 2013):

I read online somewhere that is legal in all 50 states to marry your first cousin, once removed but I want to make sure that is correct. It just don't sound right to me, but i really hope it is legal here :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

My morals are not backwards, in this case. Pray? That's a laugh...

As for my future child and the family tree..Well, we have such a large family and a REALLY common [so common there is at least someone in one state on the US and Canada with my name] last name, that he could fake the whole thing and no one would even notice! I faked my tree and no one noticed, and I had nothing to fake either. That's if he actually has to do one. Where I live, no one does them. I only did one right before I moved down here. However, if he has to do one and he's anything like me, he probably won't give a flying-rats-ass!

Also, the chances of my future child ever going to school are slim in the first place. No matter who I end up being with. I hate the Public School System because they always wanted me to conform to everything; always sticking everything in my right hand when I could use my left and right. Made my IQ shrink because they'd ignore me and wouldn't confirm me being right, thus making me think I was wrong. And other stuff I hate. Besides, the kids are the spawns of Satan.

Well, thank you for telling me my personality when you know nothing about me! I am mean, I am heatless, you left out cold-blooded by the way, however I'm not niave nor a little girl. I'm a young girl, yes, but most certainly not little. But, I'm also very caring when I want to be, and if I had a child I would rise him right and beat the shit out of anyone who gave him a problem. Or get their parents to do it. I'd find a way to protect my son or daughter against the people like you who just can't face reality. Oh, and CousinCouples does not have what I am looking for, thank you, I have looked there before. THey only ever go over the number degree [first, second, third, etc.] not the generation degree [once removed, twice, etc.] So that site doesn't tell me anything at all.

Also, who said anything about having sex with him? I never did. Or did you just think that a teen who likes their cousin has a hormone problem and can actually get away with having sex? I'm pretty sure that's what you thought, soooo...I said nothing about wanting sex. And while i do want sex like every other normal teen on the planet, I am willing to wait for a very very long time. Why the Hell would I want to have a kid right now? Besides it's a sin to have pre-marital sex, and I'm already pushing it by by hurting other people in a very violent manor. Wouldn't want to go to far, now would I? Basicly, this question has nothing to do with sex! Just about having a relationship with a guy who happens to be my cousin. A non-sexual relationship; sure do I want to: yes. And there is a reason for that, I'm Asexual and only lust after the people I love in that special way! And I've never loved anyone before...Ever. So, call me sick twisted and wrong, but it all comes down to me being right, eventually.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2008):

(same girl who wrote post one)

trust me honey I know it was the popular thing to do back in the day (as I said in my first post) but girl, your moral values are so ass backwards it almost makes me cry. wether or not it is legal in your state I pray that you don't actually have a chance to procreate with your cousin. here's a cite that will help:

http://www.cousincouples.com/?page=states

and just another thing to think about...

How do you think a child would feel making an incestuous family tree at school?

If that doesn't hurt your heart and make you stop before try to have sex with your cousin then you are a mean heartless niave little girl... :'(

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

First cousins, once removed are basicly your First cousins children. In this case he would be my dads, brother, son[my First cousin], son. Please don't joke about how Southern states [most of them] allow it...Just because we don't have a stick up our ass about this does not mean we are wrong. [I live in the South. I have lived in Alabama before.] I don't why society looks down on it. We don't even look alike; well hardly. Birth defects are possible, but it's a over-exagerated myth. Greater chances of defects can happen with a woman over 40 having kids and my neighbor had kids over 40 and while one is a bit too hyper and never listens, he's fine. And her dauter is fine too. Yet, women over 40 can have kids...Now, I see no logic in this. And the defects with cousins only happen if you have a family gene that can cause a defect. Like I have a health problem, but my cousin doesn't, not like mine at least. Mine is neurologiacl, in the brain, I could pass that on to my kid anyway! More likely if it's a girl, guys don't usually have what I do. My family wouldn't really suffer emotional damage too much. His dad was in the Military, and my parents...Well, I don't know what they would do. My mom might be shocked, but I don't think my dad'll care that much, but at least my dad'll know this'll be the only guy he doesn't have to worry about using a bat on! [j/k]

On a different note: Why would I want to marry outside the family? Back in the old times parents forced their kids to marry their cousins. I'm choosing...In a way. But every guy I have ever met has either been a jerk or was nice but it just wasn't gunna work. I've never had the feeling of being in love, and so what if he's my cousin? People don't object to the relationships that actually go against the Bible [homosexuality, animal-doing, sleeping with other members of the family like mom, dad, bro, sis], where as cousins being together is not against it but is actually quite common in. That's a bit backwards, don't you people think? And i am going to talk to him, but not my family, atleast not before or when I tell him.

I still just wanna know if it's legal or not? Not if it's legal to you guys or not. I've tried to look it up by myself, but it doesn't go over the removed system. Just the number system [first, second, third, etc]. Btw, he's a year older than me [as weird as it is] because his grandpa[my uncle] and his dad[my first cousin] had children when they were young. Also my dad was the youngest...My family tree is messed up. So can someone just answer my question please?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2008):

once removed? does that mean that he was related to you by marriage but there was a divorce and now there are no more ties? if so then it's just fine but if you are blood related that is sooo waaay illegal (maybe not in alabama jk). you might be livin in the wrong time period hunny cuz in ancient greece and even midevil europe marrying your cousin was really the popular thing to do bu today society looks down on incest. and for good reason too. there are alot of birth defects and later in life health issues that result form incest. not to mention the emotional damage it would do to the family. If your still not too certain on the whole thing you should probably talk to im and your family about it.

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