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anonymous
writes:Someone asked me via PM "well you are here to help people"And someone else and I got to talking in message about that and I wonder... WHY do YOU post to DC?Are you here to help yourself? (or did you come to help yourself and stayed to help others which was what happened with me)Are you here to help others? How? Are you here for entertainment?Are you here because you are bored at work and it fills the time?What makes you come to Dear Cupid over and over???
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (3 July 2015):
 I like this question on dearcupid.org where the Original Poster asked why are you on DearCupid? So I am adding another PS.
This one is from @DearCupid1 on Twitter.com - where what the Aunts of Uncles dispense at dearcupid.org was described as Random Acts of Kindness, when questions are answered.
I think each Aunt or Uncle on DearCupid.org genuinely believes that they are providing the best advice they can offer, in the circumstances
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (2 September 2012):
I love answering questions on this site. And I love reading all answers that I have time to read. I especially love the great Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. As I think good articles are often a distilation of experience.
To me answering questions is relaxing. And when writing answers I try to put a lot of effort into that. I tend to choose questions where I hope i can have some useful input.
Though I was a little non-plussed to get a PM one evening from an OP and then be berated for my advice on the basis that:
"I don't want that advice, I want what I asked for. That's what you are there for"
No, what I gave was genuine advice but the OP did not want to hear that advice and may have been happy if I had only told the OP what they wanted to hear.
But then it would not have been advice. It would have been validation of their unshakeable belief that their position was the only position possible.
And some of the posters have taught me so much and inspired me to read more and learn more.
So thank you to all the Original Posters out there.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2012): Purely to soak up all DoubleM's expert advice on how to pleasure several million women every day and leave them all shaking and begging for more.
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male
reader, Aspie  +, writes (2 September 2012):
 Are you here to help yourself? (or did you come to help yourself and stayed to help others which was what happened with me)Exactly the same for me! As per my "Advice column" (oooo, get me :p): "Originally signed up to this site to get some much-needed advice, but being a helpful kind of person I've sort of found myself interested in at least trying to help out others with their own issues too." Sometimes I find that at-least tying to help out others with their own problems helps me to take my mind off my own problems.Are you here to help others? How?For now, yes. By reading carefully through their issue(s)/problem(s)/question, and answering as best as possible and as truthfully as possible.Are you here for entertainment?No, that would be a cruel, childish, immature thing to do Are you here because you are bored at work and it fills the time?Nope, I don't think I'd ever look at or log on to this site at a place of work as, apart from the fact that it is likely it'll show up in the history, and logs, etc., I don't think some others would understand or see the point in it. Also, I'm not being paid to browse DC, except it if was perhaps for a work purpose, such as research or something.What makes you come to Dear Cupid over and over???As per above, I've recently found that coming here does help me to take my mind off my own current problems. In-fact in the time it has taken to me to type out this answer I don't think I've thought about my own problems yet, except just now when mentioning it/them in passing. Everyone on here seems so friendly too, which is a nice little pick-me-up if ever I (or anyone, for that matter) need one.Unfortunately, sometimes I come across a question/problem/issue which, merely reading or merely trying to answer, gets to me and I have to log off and find something else to do to take my mind off my own problems I'm currently going through, but then I normally return to check for questions I can try to answer, or check my mailbox, etc., etc.So, there's my answer(s(?)) to this interesting 'thread'.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2012): I joined when I seriously needed help with a pretty major problem. I have read some of the issues before and thought I might be able to give some advice to other people. I like the thought of helping people and the best thing about the internet is no-one can judge you!
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (18 February 2012):
EyesWideOpen is such a wit, is she not!Seriously though DearCupid.org is a wonderful site. And with the Changes imposed by Google.com it is up to everyone to spread the word about how good this site is. If Google.com is bent on disadvantaging good FREE community sites supported by volunteers - versus well funded corporate sites that are selling you advice, then it will not help the community. And By community I mean anyone who uses the site any where in the world. So don't be afraid to talk up Dearcupid.orgSend in those questions you have always wanted to ask. The reach of DearCupid is indeed wide across the world. And send in those answers, be they short or long. And write those articles on any subject you think is pertinent.Let's give this site all the support it deserves despite the algorithmn Geeks in Google.com who seem not to care that DearCupid.org has New Content added every minute. That DearCupid.org is a genuine FREE and GOOD site with a high standard of care put into making it such a good site.Diversity rules at Dearcupid.org - different viewpoints, approaches, ideas.NEW CONTENT added by the minute.ORIGINAL content from young and old.It is not some boring corporate site pushing one line and then rusing to give you more unless you pay up.Dearcupid.org is FREEAnd that over a Million answers have been received by Dearcupid.org and more than 250,000 questions have been asked on this site. I for one want to see Dearcupid.org back where it belongs, at the very top of the search results in google.comPlus there are the siteBlocking boffins who clearly must 'paint by numbers' to label dearcupid.org as a site that needs blocking when in fact dearcupid.org is an honorable good site deserving of being allowed through as a site NOT to be blocked. Algorithmn Geeks at Google.com please read Dearcupid.org once in a while and you might learn something. There is a huge pool of good information in this site that people want to read.
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reader, malletchick76 +, writes (17 February 2012):
 I was originally here to gain insight on some of the issues I'm dealing with in my life. But I like to help other people and their situations because sometimes you need that outsider perspective when making a huge decision about a relationship.
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male
reader, Honest Answer +, writes (17 February 2012):
 I originally found DC when I needed answers in my own life. After doing a little reading, I decided to see if I could help others. I am in the military and currently deployed to Afghanistan, so when ever I have some free time, I log on and answer some questions. 11 more months to go!
Jeff
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reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (17 February 2012):
 I'm here because it was a stipulation in my community service.
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female
reader, Mariab +, writes (17 February 2012):
 I found DC when I was broken! My bf had broken up with me.. and some lovely people on DC helped to put me together. I have never forgotten their kindness. And so now...when I am at my busy hectic job...I try to find time in the day to help someone else. To help them see things differently so that they can be put right. Its fulfilling and rewarding! I 3 DC!
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk my turn... since I asked the question....
I came here originally with my own questions about my then marriage and my new relationship with my then FWB. I stayed because I had a lot of experience with stuff that folks were asking about and felt I could contribute. I was looking for a site that would support polyamory or help me figure out my "man on the side"
I was trying to figure out loving two men at once... those that have followed my story know that you all supported me emotionally as my marriage ended (as was proper) and my partner and I moved from FWB/NSA sex to being engaged....
a rare thing that I think was made easier for me through the support and friendships I've made here.
Now I stay because I've made so many FRIENDS here. People I personal message with... folks that I trust and like and would miss if I was not here...
I like to help folks seek clarity. I don't always give soft comforting advice because I'm one of the "hit me over the head with a brick" kind of folks and I think that ti's the best way to be with others... sometimes it means however that the more sensitive folks think I'm a mean girl... I'm not. I truly care about folks taking care of themselves and being safe.
I also love to watch the dynamics of our abilities to give the advice we know WE should be using to fix our own lives but we can't. So I GET when folks ask for advice and then ignore it....
I love when we get feedback and updates even if it's bad news and especially if things I said helped. Or better yet if I was WRONG and things ARE better for the OP!
And I love the longer threads that turn into hot discussions with the "gang of regulars"
After years of USENET posting (where I learned the fine art of troll eating) I enjoy this site very much.
Thankfully a lot of my job is hurry up and wait so I can be here during the day...
Also my ADHD is so severe (and does NOT respond well to medications) that the short snippets of posts and answers can hold my short attention...
I would like to publicly thank EVERYONE who is here on a regular basis... the mods, the owner who financially supports the site (as I have my own sites i know this gets expensive without help) and all the folks who put their free time in here to make this place feel like my internet HOME...
I even have a shortcut on my phone so I can check when I'm out and about....
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male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (17 February 2012):
 i found it while looking for help,looking for answers, looking for insight to things in my relationship that was bothering me. i looked at other people with problems in their relationships that could use a kind word, help, advice, ect. i was down needing help, needing someone to lift me up. i want to do the same even if it is just giving encouragement in a relationship problem , or hard advice that needs to be given. i want to be a help to people that have needs, life can be tough and everyone can use a encouraging word every now and then.
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female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (17 February 2012):
 I came here for help, found this site to be really fascinating, safe, the advice given is solid, good and sound....and I stayed. Its been more than a couple of years now, I think and DC has become a part of my life. Why? Because its helped me grow as a person. When I read the posts here, it gives an insight to many, many things which I didnt even know existed.
All over the world people long and crave for the same things, everlasting love and companionship. But while that is the ultimate destination, the route taken to travel to it is different by every single individual. In the quest to find love, intimacy and acceptance, there are a million human emotions and actions involved. That is the beauty of DC, it gives us an insight into the most raw form of emotions. No one knows who the other person is or who the aunts are, they're hidden behind carefully chosen avatars and witty names. And it is this very anonymity that makes DC such a safe site and a non-judgmental place. I have asked questions here which I didnt even know how to ask myself, I have answered questions which on situations that I never thought existed.
This fascination for complex human emotions is what has kept me glued to DC. I'm not here because I'm bored, I'm here because its nice to help people and learn about life in the process.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2012): A good tip to help spread the word about how good Dear Cupid site is? Next time you are at an INternet Cafe and after you log out of this site. Then leave the Dear Cupid site open on the screen at Dear Cupid page.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (16 February 2012):
 I was dating a man who I wasn't physically attracted to.! So I went online searching for answers on what to do when you can't stand your man's man boobs. The quest lead me here eventually. And then I started seeing people ask questions that I felt I knew a bit about, or had some experience with. It became interesting to read the questions because they are often in full length, and you get follow-ups, which provided a better connection than sites that only go one way (you ask questions and can not communicate with the answerers), or sites where you need to limit your question to only a couple of sentences.
Reading about peoples problems are fascinating really... I love to hear what goes on in peoples innermost secret lives. Like an open window to something that is usually secret and hidden away.
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (16 February 2012):
 I was actually looking for answers, but found questions.
I'm the one friends come to and ask advice, I'm the UN of my family and I am a huge fan of common sense.
I like the site. I like reading what my "fellow" aunts and uncles come up with. Some are just really smart. Others really fun. Others very very honest.
Hopefully, I can help. I try.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2012): Found it by accident and was reading some of the questions and answering them in my head....which didn't help anyone.
Then I thought 'I have been there' to a few of the questions and thought my perspective may help, I would never answer anything if I wasn't confident about the topic.
There are so many different views and a diverse lot of Aunts and thankfully Uncles too - that you can be selective and if I can't add a bit to help, plenty of others are able to,which is why this site is so good
Sometimes life gets too hectic to come on, but its nice to come back and answer a few.
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female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (16 February 2012):
 I came here for help, but I decided to stay. I like to help others also, and I like to see the interesting questions that pop up everyday. And I feel like I've did something good when I know that my answer may have given them the advice they've needed. I don't know how I discovered this site, but I'm glad I did. I'll be around for a while.
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male
reader, Mark_25_ +, writes (16 February 2012):
 I came across the site a while ago just browsing the internet, and I was reading through questions and there was one I felt I could really relate to so I set up an account and posted an answer. I've been told before by friends that I'm good at giving advice, and it genuinely makes me feel good that rather than playing computer games etc, I might actually be helping someone.
I tend to only help others rather than seek help as I've only ever posted on question, though it was quite a long and complicated one.
And finally, I really love it when people post good news endings after they've asked for help, it's really heart warming, and the people on here are quite simply brilliant!
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (16 February 2012):
ps: because I think thousands more people out there could be helped by DearCupid.org - but they have not yet seen the site.And I can only speak for myself. But I feel I may not be alone in this - and that is that often I spend additional time researching my answer to ensure I cover every base.And I have chosen to read additional books on a range of issues where I knew a little but needed to find out more on abusive relationships and grief to better assist me to give more informed answers. Some things I can write from personal experience, other things find me reching for a text book I recall frommy earlier studies.It means that I can't answer every question, but I do try to answer questions where I hope I can make a difference.And I appreciate the pool of collective knowledge in DearCupid.org. Daily I learn something new from both the questions and from the answers.And I learn new things from people whether they are as young as the 'wise beyond her years' advice of xTheAlmightyDuckx right through to Aunts and Uncles with wise good advice honed by years of experence - it is all good well thought out advice.I would love to see some newer posts from the wonderful AnonymousMale1 but am happy I can still read his great articles.And I love the wisdom of some of the long term Uncles and Aunts on this site like Tisha-1 and CaryGrant.In fact I had better stop now as I am starting to have so many names of great posters on this site tumble through my thoughts.May more and more people discover what a great pool of wisdom exists on the site DearCupid.org
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male
reader, eek +, writes (16 February 2012):
 i came as i was searching for advice on what to do about the lady i was with at that time. When i started i posted my questions anonymously but then started reading other peoples and realized i could give them advice based on what i have been through. I then almost became addicted to reading peoples problems and seeing if i could help. Now i check the site a little less but still like to see if i can offer assistance to anyone on here.
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (16 February 2012):
 I'm on Dear Cupid because SOMEBODY has to talk some sense in to these peoples' heads!!!!!!
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (16 February 2012):
hi
I came across Dear Cupid by accident. And found it fascinating. I read through some questions and answers started coming into my head.
Then I read the guidelines and criteria and decided it was a really genuine honorable site.
Until I felt more confident I posted anonymously.
And then I decided to ask my first question and had to type
in 'human' and write down the special number to help me find it again. Well guess what? My first ever question was rejected? Thought that a bit tough. Went away to lick my 'wounds' (hurt pride?)
So I went back to answering questions, since none of them were being rejected.
Finally I got the courage to register.
And I get such great joy from great feedback.
And have come into contact with amazing people, amazing courage.
DearCupid.org is an exceptionally well thought out site.
New Content is added to it by the minute.
It is such a good like, like Wikipedia and helps so many people.
Over a quarter of a million questions have been asked. Well over a million answered have been posted.
It is simple to use and navigate as a site.
And it is all free and filled with such good wisdom.
Personally I would like a PayPal button somewhere on the site so that I can donate an occasional donation to help support this site.
When I see far inferior sites asking for donations/subscriptions I think why doesn't DearCupid give me an annual option (like Wikipediaa) allowing me, voluntarily to give towards the support upkeep of this magnificent site?
The whole site has a warmer kinder emphasis with better answers and more useful advice than more questionable sites that Google.com tries to push people towards in their search engines.
Google.com your search engines have got it wrong. Dearcupid.org is indeed the site of first choice for people who want good kind and useful pertinent advice.
And every day Dearcupid.org manages to receive and post new questions on new topics and a plethora of new answers.
Dearcupid.org is a site I am proud to say I enjoy using. And proud to be associated with.
It comprises a good community of people from around the world. The answers allow the poster to read things from different viewpoints.
As a result I believe that thousands of good people are helped every day.
Now if someone would please just tell Google.com 's people to stop ruining things via their dumb algorithms and put DearCupid.org at the TOP of every search engine result I would be happy!
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