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People are like stained - glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
I've been on DC since 2007. I have seen just about everything you can imagine on here. I am a "softer" responder. I try to always give good advice with kindness. I genuinely want to help people and never want to hurt someone by the words I type since most people that come to DC are already hurting in some way.
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Why do I feel so rotten when he hurt me so much?
Q. I made a huge mistake, I've been in a relationship for many years, I have been hurt very badly. Yet I continued to go back time and time again. Long story short he is in a bad place and I tried to be nice and it back fired, now all the I'm sorry's ...
A. 11 March 2018: OP, don't be so hard on yourself! You were with the man for a long time and you loved him. Even when someone we love and care about hurts us very deeply, it isn't that easy to just let go and walk away. You must have so many memories and I'm sure ... (read in full...)
Once a cheater, always a cheater. Is this old saying true?
Q. Is it true what they say, that once a cheater, always a cheater? I mean if a wife forgave his husband for having cheated on her for a year and a half, are there chances that after 2 years he will cheat again? What are your thoughts or experiences on ...
A. 9 March 2018: Anyone can change if they TRULY want to its just that most people don't want to change. It takes time and effort and willpower to overcome bad thoughts, habits, ect. If a person cheats and realizes what they have lost or may lose, then yes, if they ... (read in full...)
I like him but can't take the disresect anymore.
Q. Hi. I met a guy recently and we stared talking online . He said he is looking for something serious with me and is not here to waste time. At first I tried to invest my time in him by answering his calls in the morning and at night which ruined my ...
A. 9 March 2018: OP what on earth is there to think about and agonize about? He only wants things his way, isn't thoughtful or considerate of your time or feelings. He isn't the only nice guy in the world that you can develop feelings for it. Block him. End it. ... (read in full...)
How do "average" couples have sex? How to politely avoid ejaculation?
Q. How do "average" couples have sex? How to politely avoid ejaculation? By that, I mean those who (if filmed) don't look like porn videos (pro or amateur). I can't find anything online about how less adventurous couples have sex. I'm probably co...
A. 9 March 2018: Both aunts/uncles gave you great answers. I really have to agree with Fatherly Advice. You sound almost repulsed by sex. If you feel that way why on earth would you want to have it?? Its ok whatever age you are to not feel comfortable with sex. Dont ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is unemotional and giving me the silent treatment!
Q. Dear Cupid I'm living with my bf of 3 years , and he is nice most of the times, but he is very unemotional and practical and had not told me he loves me yet, though I said couple of times and no response So I got pregnant , we both agreed it...
A. 8 March 2018: You ask how to deal with this man? I think the more important question you should be asking is "WHY are you dealing with him"?
OP, after 3 years he hasn't said I love you? Come on...he hasn't said he loves you because apparently he doesn't.... (read in full...)
He pursued me and now I’m in love with him, but he has a girlfriend. Do I tell him how I feel?
Q. Please don’t judge me too much for writing this.. but I’d really appreciate some advice. This guy works in a different department in my office.. we knew each other vaguely for 2 years and and he started messaging me randomly around 6 months ...
A. 6 March 2018: Take off the rose colored glasses and see him for what he is. He's a flirt, a charmer, and messing about with you when he has someone. Doesn't sound like a catch at all. Plus you factor in that you both work at the same place? Its really not smart ... (read in full...)
Please help me!! No one is helping me.
Q. Posting Questipn again as no one answered before. Please help me. Don’t ignore me please! When people ignore you and your posts on social media, But respond to others what can do you do? Why do people do this? It’s like “Fomo” aka “ ...
A. 5 March 2018: I didn't answer the first time because I don't use social media. I find it rather laughable and people get way too caught up in it. I still believe in talking on the phone, emails, letters. It seems to be to often be a place where people try to ... (read in full...)
My husband spends the same amount on his son's girlfriend as he spends on me.
Q. Is this appropriate? I remarried 3 yrs ago and inheritted two stepsons (now 21 and amp; 23) my problem is with the gifts my husband buys for the girlfriend of his older son (23yrs old-lovely girl who I like v much). When we go away and they ar...
A. 2 March 2018: I honestly don't think that your husband is trying to flirt or impress the girlfriend. I'd wager more than anything he's lost and confused and figured if you liked the gift that she would too. OR it could be that he asked his son, and his son asked ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure what to think about this Tarot reading.
Q. Do you believe in tarot/card reading? Do anyone here has experience in that? Yesterday i went to a famous tarot card reader with my friend. She is 86 years old and been reading for 55 years. She asked me about our name, address, and birth date. ...
A. 2 March 2018: OP you are on here several times a week complaining about your MIL. You have been given excellent advice every time and yet you don't seem to do anything about it. If you are that miserable then why don't you & your husband move out? Why don't you ... (read in full...)
Should I be ticked hubby didn't say I love you after I said it to him?
Q. Hubby of 5 years and I spent a lovely weekend together. Left the kids with his mom and took a romantic weekend for ourselves. It was fun and passionate until..... I told him "I love you." He didn't say it back because he doesn't want it to be...
A. 28 February 2018: Let it go. Actions count far more than words. Anyone can say "I love you" but do they mean it?
My husband is from Japan, very old style traditional Japanese. He says that he is still confused as to why over here everyone says "I love you" all the ... (read in full...)
I need to know how he feels.
Q. I have a long-time friend who I've had a crush on FOREVER, but most of the time we have known each other, I was in a relationship so nothing ever came of it. He has confirmed that he returned the feeling but I guess as I did decided to try to forget ...
A. 26 February 2018: Its very possible that he likes having you as a friend and as a "go to" when he wants to hook up. You are always there. Maybe he's afraid if you get involved it will screw everything up (which that could happen). Or maybe you are sort of "miss right ... (read in full...)
I’m terrified that I’ll encounter my Facebook stalker in my new neighborhood!
Q. I’m a single quiet gay woman Im moving rental apartments soon and found out my Facebook stalker from 3 years ago is on same suburb! What if I see him? He hasn’t bothered me in nearly 3 years but I heard from work rumours when there wa...
A. 25 February 2018: If he has left you alone for 3 years then I don't know why he would start to bother you now. I think you are a little bit over the top with your emotions which is understandable but seriously..he has left you alone. TBH if you are that upset about ... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a guy still cares about how his ex feels while he’s with you?
Q. What does it mean when a guy still cares about how his ex feels while he’s with you? Like when he sees she’s sad or not herself on social media he tells her things like “You know I got you, What’s wrong?”...
A. 25 February 2018: It means he isn't worth being with because he isn't over her and as long as he has feelings for her you will always come second.... (read in full...)
I'm still not over her after all these years but she has a 2 year old daughter and says she's done with dating. Should I still persevere?
Q. So a little backstory… I've been crushing on this girl since high school and you could say I got hit hard. I never had the courage to ask her out; because it's high school she was way out of my league back then. I've put her in this pedestal...
A. 22 February 2018: The lady said no. Take her at her word. I was a single mom at 21 and trust me the last thing you are worrying about if you are a good parent is dating and worrying about some guy. A small child is a FULL TIME job that requires all of your time, all ... (read in full...)
Do I ask a friend to ask another friend why he's ignoring me?
Q. I feel silly asking this, but here goes: I have a friend, whom I'll call A, who I was friends with for decades. Over the last few years something has been up -- he has been avoiding me, and doesn't e-mail or call me. We have a mutual friend, ...
A. 18 February 2018: I wouldn't get another person involved, OP. If you want to get to the bottom of things, email, call or text this friend yourself. Ask him if you have done something to offend him in any way? Say that you are confused about your relationship and just ... (read in full...)
I want to be his girlfriend..not his FWB
Q. Am in a fwb situation..we are monogamous with each other..he tells me he loves me..I tell him that too.. But he says he does not want a girlfriend..he did take me out on valentines day..but next morning referred to me as his fuck buddy...I hate t...
A. 18 February 2018: My grandmother used to say "Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free"? I don't mean this to be disrespectful to you but I have a bad feeling that your FWB has this attitude. FWB relationships are usually a disaster because one person winds up ... (read in full...)
I love him, but his deception can’t go on!
Q. Hi Aunts! I'm 29 years old and in an alleged relationship with a married man for the last one and a half year. It wasn't intended to happen cause we were only friends, but developed nonetheless. At first, he kept his marital status a secret from me....
A. 17 February 2018: A very old expression but a very true one. "If he cheats with you, he'll cheat on you." Think about it. Nothing more needs to be said. ... (read in full...)
We text and fight, then meet, make up then make out! Now he wants to be just friends?
Q. My boyfriend and I am in relationship from 4 months,we fight alot on texts.Almost every week we decide to break up.But when we meet, we just kiss amd make out ,there is no fight at all.Now again after fight he wants to be only friends.Will we be ...
A. 15 February 2018: Why are you even bothering? There's too many guys out there to chose from. He's being immature and playing games. ... (read in full...)
He loves me but wants space? What does it mean?
Q. I have been dating a man I met 6 months ago. His wife cheated on him and now lives with a new partner but they had only just stopped sharing the marital home just before we met. He treated me like gold, told me I was the woman of his dreams and t...
A. 11 February 2018: You sound like a lovely intelligent lady. I am sure that you are "Ms. Right" but for him I think you are "Ms right now". People going through divorces can be absolutely crazy! Your emotions are just everywhere and you truly don't know what you want ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn’t give me attention!
Q. Well I have been with my bf for a few months now. I have noticed that I have been the absolute only on carrying the relationship. I have a giving heart and that sometimes make a me look real stupid. My heart is pure and I tend to give it to the ...
A. 11 February 2018: The best advice is to walk away, don't look back and respect yourself so that you don't let anyone treat you like a doormat. If you don't love yourself and respect yourself no one else will either. Don't ever think you can love with money. You ... (read in full...)
I thought he loved me but he cheated and she's pregnant!
Q. Hello this may be a lil not lengthy but I need advice. I was in a long distance relationship with someone I met on a job two years ago, we met when I moved to Virginia for a short period of time but because we were both in a relationship at the time ...
A. 8 February 2018: Of course you are shocked and hurting OP. Its terrible to find out that someone we love has lied and cheated on us and even worse gotten another woman pregnant. As the other aunts and uncles have said even though you can't see it right now you ... (read in full...)
I thought he loved me but he cheated and she's pregnant!
Q. Hello this may be a lil not lengthy but I need advice. I was in a long distance relationship with someone I met on a job two years ago, we met when I moved to Virginia for a short period of time but because we were both in a relationship at the time ...
A. 8 February 2018: Of course you are shocked and hurting OP. Its terrible to find out that someone we love has lied and cheated on us and even worse gotten another woman pregnant. As the other aunts and uncles have said even though you can't see it right now you ... (read in full...)
He thinks I am sick and twisted when I ask about hi past, we have no interesting conversation, its just boring.
Q. Hi ,I have been dating this guy for 4 wks seeing him 2-3 times a wk .. meals out , walks in park etc but I feel bored already because he has told me not to ask about the past and he never asks me anything so our conversation is pretty standard ...
A. 7 February 2018: I think its rather telling that after only a month you are bored? It sure doesn't sound like this relationship has any hope of lasting long term! I have been with my husband for over 17 years (not all of those years married) but I have NEVER been ... (read in full...)
Could my FWB's partner's ego have kept him from admitting that he cares about me?
Q. I've been on and off friends with benefits with a guy for 4 years. I've fallen in love with him and I told him in person. he said he likes me but can't commit to me because of his family situation as his family are not speaking to him. During this ...
A. 6 February 2018: My grandmother used to always say "Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free"??? He doesn't care about you enough to want to be in a relationship with you after 4 years? THINK ABOUT IT. He wants sex and you supply it and as long as you do that ... (read in full...)
I don't accept his reasons for not wanting to date me.
Q. Hi I've been having problems with a guy and I want any advice to understand the way he is acting. I met him online many months ago maybe 5 months ago. It was a dating app so obviously that is the reason people are on there. However he will no...
A. 6 February 2018: I agree with honeypie. You're childish, playing games and testing him. Those kinds of tactics don't go over too well with most people. And think again if you think that a man will fall for you just because you cry and beg. Most men will shake their ... (read in full...)
Is "we need to chat" the same as "we need to talk"?
Q. If someone says ‘we need to chat’ is that different than ‘we need to talk’ or do you think it’s the same thing? ...
A. 5 February 2018: For all intents and purposes they mean the same thing but to me "we need to chat" sounds a little less formal and more friendly whereas "we need to talk" reminds me something a boss says to an employee or when someone isn't happy with you or the ... (read in full...)
Cheater?? Just your first instinct, not full evaluation!
Q. Ok... Just be straight... Being paranoid, or boyfriend totally cheating on me?? He has a friend contact, saved on his phone as "Wifey S" when questioned, said nothing to worry about, just a female friend.... what are your first thought... backgrou...
A. 30 January 2018: If there is no trust in a relationship its like being a house on sand. It will collapse. How much of your life do you want to waste on someone that can't trust? How much time are you going to spend worrying, looking over your shoulder, questioning ... (read in full...)
Do I contact him again?
Q. im not sure how to go about this and would rather see it from other peoples views. A year ago i joined a dating site i met up with a guy i had already had 1 date with previously couple of years earlier. we drifted apart and lost contact. Anyway last ...
A. 29 January 2018: There is no reason to contact him again OP unless you want to be rejected. Who needs that? He told you the first time he wasn't interested. Leave it at that. No need to put yourself out there to possibly be hurt. Too many other men in the sea my ... (read in full...)
He seemed so into me, said he had no wrong intentions... Then why did he ghost me after that evening of no sex?
Q. I commute to work and every Friday, as I'm waiting at my bus stop, a young man would come and wait for the bus as well. We would exchange polite nods of the head, smiles, "good mornings" and then both of us would retreat back to our cell phones, ...
A. 28 January 2018: I believe he thought you were going to be easy to get into bed and after realizing that you weren't just going to be so easy, he lost interest in the chase. Good for you. He isn't worth thinking about or wasting time over so be glad you got out ... (read in full...)
My job interviewed didn't offer me a job but asked me out on a date. Is this appropriate?
Q. I am job hunting. I recently got call from one of the jobs I was interested. In the middle of the interview, the interviewer did not offer me the job due to my school schedule clashing with the days he had available. Instead he asked me out on a ...
A. 27 January 2018: The interviewer was unprofessional and out of line. He is trying to abuse his position of "power". Report him to his supervisor. ... (read in full...)
Married and seriously falling for my doctor
Q. I am head over heels for my surgeon. I have been seeing him for about 4-5 months and my feelings keep getting stronger. There was only one time when I thought he might be interested. He told me I had a nice smile and put his hand on my thigh. Since ...
A. 23 January 2018: My husband is a doctor. A smart kind and handsome man. He has woman flirting with him all the time, getting crushes on him, slipping him phone numbers and acting all "cutesy". What does he think about it? His feelings vary from thinking its ... (read in full...)
Is he using me as a means to come to Canada?
Q. Hello I married a man from Africa and I am Canadian. We have been together for 11 months and I am trying to get him to Canada. He has been good to me but very dominant and expects I be submissive and do whatever he says to me. If I don’t he ge...
A. 21 January 2018: If you truly trusted your husband you wouldn't be on here asking questions about him. Deep down inside you have serious doubts and from everything that you've told us, you SHOULD be having doubts. Majority rules here, I agree with all the other ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend shows no respect
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months now and we have been practically living together since day one. First off he is a total momma's boy, which I have no problem with. But I know he will never out me first before her. My problem is that he ...
A. 21 January 2018: "A really good person" doesn't degrade you, make you feel worthless and talk to you the way your boyfriend talks to you.He is abusive and will continue to act that way as long as you allow him to do so. Do you think so little of yourself that you ... (read in full...)
How do I handle troublesome ex?
Q. My boyfriend had a son from a previous relationship. We have 2 children together now and one on the way. This ex of his won't let him see his other child, and talks a lot of nonsense about him on social media, whether it's directly or indirectly. I ...
A. 20 January 2018: In the words of one of our popular posters "Not my circus, not my monkeys". DO NOT get involved. DO NOT let her goad you into a fight. She is angry, bitter, jealous, ect. and just wants to get something started between the two of you. This is your ... (read in full...)
Is it mean to ghost someone who is nice but you just don't want to see anymore?
Q. Would it be mean to ghost, a guy who treated you good for over six months, but it just isn't working for you, I don't want to cry when I break up with him in person, so I just want to block him, my girlfriend tells me, that be cruel,not giving him a ...
A. 19 January 2018: OP, I truly hope that you will reconsider your decision to ghost the man. It isn't easy breaking things off but if the man has been good to you and you spent 6 months together don't you think he deserves to know what is going on? Would you want ... (read in full...)
I'm in the relationship because of obligation and chivalry. Should I give her another chance or end it for good?
Q. I have been with my girlfriend on and off for over 3 years. In the beginning she was a work colleague I was hesitant to get with her as although we flirted, played about together and eventually slept together, I wasn't looking for commitment. ...
A. 19 January 2018: If you don't love someone and can't give it your all then you aren't doing yourself or the lady any favors. It sounds like you just want out. Be kind and end it with her. Both of you should be happy and if you are happier without her you definitely ... (read in full...)
Apart from these issues my boyfriend is great.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for four months now. We get along really well. He use to be a well known player in our town. The sex is alright. He likes it better than me. Hence the fact I've had better lovers. The two issues I'm having are this: ...
A. 18 January 2018: I read your post first without looking at your age. OP, don't be offended but I immediately thought you were about 18-21...and then I looked at your age. Sweets..you are old enough and wise enough to KNOW that this guy isn't good for you. Don't let ... (read in full...)
His email to his brother hurts more than his affair
Q. My partner and I have been together for 3 years in January, he cheated on me with someone I knew in October. In our bed When I was away for 2 days. When I came back he acted like nothing had happened but I knew in my heart and then my friends told ...
A. 10 January 2018: OP, in situations like this I always ask the poster to think what would they do if the situation being played out involved their sister/friend/mother. What would you tell them? I highly doubt if you tell them to stay in that kind of a relationship, ... (read in full...)
My best friend seems to want to end our friendship
Q. I've been friendly with my pal David for over 30 years. He drives a taxi for private hire for a living.I provide computer fixing services. A month ago, for the first time ever, he referred a customer of his to me who had a computer problem. The...
A. 8 January 2018: Its really a shame to let a 30 year friendship end over what is more than likely just a simple misunderstanding. Reach out to him and explain things just like you did on here. Maybe for some reason he got the impression that you didn't finish the ... (read in full...)
We met online a week ago and already love each other
Q. I have been divorced for almost 6 months and have been dating. I met someone online and when we met in person we both felt an instant connection. He has already told me he loves me and I have told him also. It has only been a week. I have never had ...
A. 6 January 2018: I caution you to not confuse infatuation/lust with love. They aren't the same thing. You are just getting to know each other and can't truly know one another after just a week. Spend time together, truly feel each other out, have deep conversations. ... (read in full...)
Do I contact him over this rude breakup?
Q. I got in from work to find a email off my boyfriend saying because I'm not an animal person (he has a cat) it won't work out. I have a cat myself. He has blocked me off everything and I don’t know why so I can’t ask him. I knew he was having a few ...
A. 5 January 2018: It is very cowardly and hurtful the way he handled the breakup but somewhere down the road you are going to be glad that he ended things and you'll realize he was a jerk. Cry my dear get him out of your system and move on. A real man wouldn't end ... (read in full...)
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