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I like him but can't take the disresect anymore.

Tagged as: Online dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 March 2018) 10 Answers - (Newest, 10 March 2018)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hi. I met a guy recently and we stared talking online . He said he is looking for something serious with me and is not here to waste time. At first I tried to invest my time in him by answering his calls in the morning and at night which ruined my sleep pattern cause he won’t stop talking till 6am!! I have been single since 4 years and I don’t like to talk for hours . I’m just not the person who is glued to phone 24x7. I felt I could commit to this person and really liked him but he called up when he was free to talk and never cared if I’m free to answer or not. His calls could last for 1-2 hrs! I couldn’t answer his calls and it happened thrice and the issue is, if I don’t answer his call once, he blows up my phone with 12-13 calls and angry goodbye texts. I was unwell and couldn’t take his 7 missed calls today morning and left his msg on Read just for 15 mins cause I had just woken up! I was called a fuckin loser for that . I like this person but I can’t take this disrespect anymore . What should I do?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2018):

Block him. He has mental health issues and is showing signs that he will be violent and dangerous. Absolute do NOT enter into a relationship with this person - look at how he is already treating you and realise it will only get worse and worse. If necessary, report him to the police for harassment - they need to know how he is treating a woman because behaviour like this can lead to far worse in the future.

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A male reader, TylerSage United States +, writes (10 March 2018):

TylerSage agony auntYou met a guy RECENTLY and this is how he treats you?

Wow, you need to block this guy. He has some SERIOUS issues.

He's only thinking about himself. He's a selfish person. And it seems once you aren't there to listen to his chatter he explodes on you.

How dare this bastard call you a loser? I find this very upsetting. Did he even notice that you weren't feeling well.

This guy does not sound like a good person to have in your life. If he is this abusive to you now, why in heavens name would you want to be in a relationship with him? So he can start punching you around?

As @HoneypIE said "REDFLAGS!!!"

Get out while you can. This man is damaged somehow and needs to fix HIMSELF. It's not YOUR job.

All the best.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (9 March 2018):

aunt honesty agony auntThis guy sounds abusive and controlling, I fail to see why you haven't blocked him yet. Don't fall in to a trap with this guy.

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A female reader, mystiquek United States + , writes (9 March 2018):

mystiquek agony auntOP what on earth is there to think about and agonize about? He only wants things his way, isn't thoughtful or considerate of your time or feelings. He isn't the only nice guy in the world that you can develop feelings for it. Block him. End it.

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (9 March 2018):

Block his calls and end this. He has some apparent mental-health issues.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom + , writes (9 March 2018):

N91 agony auntThis guy clearly has some issues he needs to work on if that's how he finds it acceptable to speak to his romantic interests.

Id of ran for the hills the first time this kind of behaviour come out into the light. You're not compatible, it's as simple as that and it's easy to see.

If you stick at this one I'd say you're in for a very controlling and turbulent relationship.

Get rid, immediately.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (9 March 2018):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntSo he is only nice if you do exactly as he wants the second he wants? And even then it is not what YOU want.

Also, for someone who has never even met you to be saying he wants something serious with you - surely that has to ring alarm bells.

Sweetheart, open your eyes and wake up! This guy is ABUSIVE. Thank goodness your relationship has only been on the phone up to this point, otherwise you would probably have been physically abused as well by now.

End this relationship NOW. This guy is bad bad news. You are worth so much better. Stop returning his calls and block him. I do hope you haven't given him any clues on where to find you (home or work).

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A male reader, DarrellG United Kingdom +, writes (9 March 2018):

DarrellG agony auntI have some sympathy for this guy because i used to be very much like him. He is doubtlessly a nice guy which equally doubtlessly why you like him but he is clingy, insecure, needy and broken and the plain and brutal truth is that this is not right for you and indeed wouldnt be really right for anyone.

You really know what you want to do but are here for permission I suspect in a sense because he is nice and you would feel bad about cutting him loose. Sadly that is indeed what you must do for his sake and your own because there is no way this guy will be able to have a healthy relationship while he is like this so by letting him down you are doing him a favour. If you carry on and get close r to him you are validating and reinforcing his negative behaviours and indeed he has already shown signs this could turn into abusive behaviour towards you so, be cruel to be kind, cut all ties.

Good luck x

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (9 March 2018):

chigirl agony auntThis guy is clearly not mentally well. Why on earth would you even concider a relationship with him?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (9 March 2018):

Honeypie agony auntNo, no no....

You need to end this and block him.

IT IS NOT OK! to call you names because you can't pick up, that is downright ABUSIVE behavior.

Do you really think if you two actually get a relationship going he will STOP being a DICK and treat you nice? No.

He sounds entitled. And delusional. And needy. And controlling. Like your whole world should now revolve around him and giving him attention. THAT isn't healthy.

You say you like this person... REALLY? What is there to like?

And as far as the long conversations. If you are tired and need sleep before you go to work, YOU can put on your big girl panties and say, I really enjoy talking to you but I NEED some sleep, talk to you tomorrow. You DO NOT - and I will repeat... DO NOT OWE him to talk for hours if you NEED sleep to function at work.

You post about this guy has RED FLAGS all over! Can't you see the forest for all the trees here?


I think the sooner you END this, the better.

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