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*oucannotbeserious

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He's not telling me the truth. Do I bail before it's too late?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for some time now and we just stopped using condoms a month ago(we got tested first), a day ago I was at his place cleaning up and I found 2 condoms in his jeans,now I'm wondering who else he's sleeping with. I ...

A.   26 February 2017: Restart using contraception immediately until you sort things out. Lying about his age could have started as he was afraid you would not date him if you knew his real age. Once he had lied about it, it would have been very difficult to tell you... (read in full...)

Can anything be saved in my marriage. If so, how?

Q.   I need help.. my wife of 33 years has slept in separate room for 5 years.. she works but dosent contribute to mortgage, and all her income goes into her own bank. Mine goes into joint account, and she buys things out of this account. We have no ...

A.   26 February 2017: Your wife was obviously very hurt by your affair and is still angry about it, hence the physical withdrawal. Men and women differ greatly in how they see sex: men need sex to feel loved, while women need to feel loved to want sex. Your lack of sex ... (read in full...)

New man doesn't want me to go to fetish party

Q.   I arranged to go to kinky, fetish-scene party while single but now have new boyfriend who doesn't want me to go. Am I being unreasonable still wanting to go, even though he doesn't like it, and is not into that. He thinks I will be looking for ...

A.   26 February 2017: And will you? Be looking for someone who shares the same fantasy? How important is your fantasy/fetish? Is it something you absolutely have to have/do to have a satisfying sex life? If so and your boyfriend is not into the same thing, then you... (read in full...)

I've had bad luck with women in the past, and now I'm wondering if this new girl is testing me or just playing games

Q.   I would like some advice on what to do with a female I'm currently talking to. Ive had no luck in the past when it comes to relationships and have always ended up getting hurt, no fault of my own. I'm not a bad looking guy and can get dates, I deci...

A.   26 February 2017: You only contacted this girl last week, haven't met her yet and she is already messing you about? Seriously? If this REALLY is the case, then drop her and move onto someone else before you invest any more emotional energy in her. I would be inter... (read in full...)

He's been flirting with me, but after seeing him out with another woman I'm not sure how he really feels!

Q.   Hi Aunts and Uncles I met a guy nearly two years ago. Did not like him to begin. Then started to get to know him and he started flirting he gave me his number. Cutting a long story short, we have been talking for many weeks and my feelings h...

A.   26 February 2017: You do understand that flirting does not always mean someone is "into" you, don't you? Sometimes it is just done as a bit of fun banter. (I work with a guy who is HALF my age. We are just totally not attracted to each other in any way, shape or ... (read in full...)

How can I stop comparing myself to everyone else? How can I become Assertive and less insecure?

Q.   I'm single woman in my early thirties that on the outside most people would say (kind-generous -attractive- nice). My problem is - I'm very insecure ( I worked and work so much on outer appearance ) that I lack self confidence. I can't say no (...

A.   26 February 2017: I really don't think the answer is to get more "aggressive". That is not a good trait in anyone. I think you perhaps need to become more assertive, more confident and to value who you are more. Just being a "yes" person is not good for your soul ... (read in full...)

He's a handsome foreigner, twice-divorced, aged 60. But all is not well in the relationship. Is it time to break up with him?

Q.   Hello, I´m a single working mother of two. One is 13yo and the second 5yo. Six months ago I met a handsome foreigner twice-divorced aged 60. After 2 months, he came to live with us. He´s the first man to ever enter my household because I´ve alw...

A.   25 February 2017: I'm sorry but this man calls your CHILDREN psychopaths and you still allow him to stay in your house. You are their MOTHER for crying out loud. Your priority should be to protect them. How do you think they feel that you allow this man to say these ... (read in full...)

I'm losing the love I used to have for my boyfriend. How do I let go?

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for two years now, known him for four. Over the past month or so I've felt my feelings towards him just fade. When he text me I feel myself drain, when he holds me I feel a little uncomfortable, just little things l...

A.   25 February 2017: You are very young. At your age relationships tend not to last long because you change so much as you mature. I suspect this is what has happened to you. It's very sad but, if you stay with your boyfriend out of pity, you will end up hating h... (read in full...)

Teen daughter does not believe me. In your opinion did I do something wrong?

Q.   I'm a single mother of two children. A girl who is 15 and a son who is 11 years old. We had a good life. We would take vacations and go back to our home country to visit every year. They both attend private Christian schools. Five years ago I di...

A.   25 February 2017: The hardest job in the world: being a mother. HUGS. Personally I don't think you did anything wrong, but your daughter is a teenager and will be finding holes in everything you do. She is probably (understandably) upset about her change of life ... (read in full...)

Is this recently widowed woman demonstrating a desire for a closer physical relationship with me, or is she grieving?

Q.   Hello A woman i know, when we meet, we hug and kiss each other on the cheek. Not long ago her husband died. The last we met we hugged and she placed my head on her breastl Does she want a closer relationship with me? As in sexual? Or is it so...

A.   25 February 2017: Tread very carefully here so that you don't overstep the mark. This lady is recently widowed. She is grieving. She may be looking for any comfort she can get at the moment and, as someone who she has had contact with in the past, she probably... (read in full...)

How do I tell someone that their romantic feelings toward me are not mutual?

Q.   I'm not into relationships at all, just casual stuff mainly. However, a guy I've recently been seeing thinks he's fallen in love with me and wants to be in a relationship. The issue is I can't bring myself to tell him that's not what I want. I'm ...

A.   25 February 2017: Oh dear. Always tricky, especially when you move in the same group of friends. Don't feel pressured into doing anything you don't want to do. If you get into a proper relationship with him because you bow to peer pressure, it will only make thi... (read in full...)

Do I ask her out online or in person? She is shy.

Q.   I don't know if I should ask her out in person or online? We talk often, and get along well. In fact I often see her staring, and all of the signs that tell me she likes me are clear now. She's shy, and probably won't ask me out herself, so I thin...

A.   25 February 2017: If you fear you will not make the right impression online I would ask her in person. Make it very light and casual so as not to spook her. Just something like, "Heh, fancy a coffee sometime?" or have a chat about a film you want to see. If she ... (read in full...)

I like him but worry about his motives.

Q.   Hi so there's this guy that I've had feelings for for a while. I'm 99% sure he at least likes me a little but for some reason I still have some doubt in my mind, which might just be because I'm not use to guys genuinely wanting to get to know etc. ...

A.   24 February 2017: How old is this guy? Is he a similar age to you? Has he invited you to his parents' house? If so, then you are probably relatively safe and it should be fairly easy to control the situation. By that I mean don't allow yourself to get carried away. ... (read in full...)

Should I ? I'm tempted to contact the other people involved and ask them

Q.   Looking for some advice here.. About a year ago, I found out that my fiancée and two of her (our?) friends had been exchanging intimate photos - and had even been together a couple of times. I confronted her, she broke down, told me that the o...

A.   24 February 2017: Absolutely not. What good will knowing do you? It will either confirm that you are a neurotic untrusting partner, or it will prove she lied to you. What if it is the latter? What will you do? It is over now. You have both cut contact with thi... (read in full...)

We've dated for 4 years, but now she doesn't make an effort anymore. What could improve the relationship?

Q.   I am in between a rock and a hard place....I have a girlfriend of 4 years and I feel differently about our relationship to what I used to. I want to talk to my girlfriend about it but she doesn't want to listen! Nor talk...she is pretty closed w...

A.   24 February 2017: The relationship you describe is more of mother and daughter than of lovers. Does the big age difference worry her in any way? Is she concerned that you will leave her one day for someone nearer your own age? I also wonder if, given her age, she... (read in full...)

How do I stop falling in love with my best friend?

Q.   I'm in love with my best friend at college. He's not your average stud bit of a stoner, very clever and it nerdy but probably THE funniest guy I have ever met, I could be having a really shit time and I'd talk to him for like 2 minutes and he puts a ...

A.   24 February 2017: Given how much you have to lose and gain in this situation, I think you can't assume anything. You don't know what their conversation was about. You ASSUME you did. Perhaps your friend thinks YOU are not into HIM, hence giving his mate the green ... (read in full...)

If he wants to remain friends, I'm going to need a sincere apology!

Q.   I recently broke it off with a guy I was dating because he wasn't ready for commitment. It hurt a lot but I'm mostly over it now. There was a deep connection and we could potentially be really good friends if the bad feelings can be resolved....

A.   24 February 2017: I really don't think you are ready to be close friends with this man. Definitely not yet, maybe never. The apology - sincere or otherwise - is irrelevant. YOU cannot heal him. HE needs to do that himself. I think you are still hoping he ... (read in full...)

She's still sharing a bed with her partner of 6 years! What do I do?

Q.   Hi I'm seeing a girl and have been for over 6 months but she's still living with her partner of 6 years ... I did know her before and was common knoledge they were not close ... she promised me she would leave once she got the finance to move out ...

A.   24 February 2017: You need to decide how long you are prepared to give her to move out - and stick to it. She may have good intentions and just be weak, or she may be worried about upsetting her partner. Whatever the reason, she needs to make a choice: him or you. ... (read in full...)

Sucking on breasts. Is that so enjoyable that it can be described as an act of love and deeply satisfying when between two adults in a relationship?

Q.   Dear Cupids Having experienced the wonder of a female friend breastfeeding her child a question arose. When a woman breastfeeds her child, it's a highly beneficial situation for both of them. Not only in nourishing, but also for bonding, cl...

A.   23 February 2017: Some men suck on women's nipples like they are trying to suck the last drops of a favourite drink out of the bottom of a long tube through a straw. Or tweak and pinch them like they are old radio knobs. Believe me when I tell you, that is NOT ... (read in full...)

I need a kick to end this toxic relationship!

Q.   I am in the worst relationship I have EVER been in. I'm totally miserable and bored to tears when I'm with him. He is rude, selfish, disrespectful to me and woman in general. I'm ashamed to admit I have been with this guy for over six years. He ...

A.   23 February 2017: If he was just a friend, you would have dropped him a long time ago as there is nothing you like about being with him. Why do you stay? Is it for the status of being "in a relationship"? Or for the companionship, rubbish as it is? Or because ... (read in full...)

Should I message her on facebook, or should I just leave it?

Q.   I went out on monday night for a student night and I met this really nice girl where we danced. I bought her a drink. She had a friend who was dancing with my friend but he left somewhere and I ended up going to see one of my other friends, but I sa...

A.   22 February 2017: For crying out loud, just message her! What have you got to lose? Keep it light and casual. Just say hi and ask her if she fancies meeting up for a drink some time. She can only say no. I hope she says yes. ... (read in full...)

I honestly don't know what to do. What can I do? She blames her childhood for her major trust issues

Q.   Hi, I have been together with my fiance for about 8 months now. Unfortunately, she has major trust issues and she fuels it by giving me no space to breathe. she expects me to tell her everything in detail. ie if I get a message from a friend(ma...

A.   22 February 2017: Can you imagine yourself in this relationship next year, or 5 or 10 years down the line, still putting up with this controlling behaviour? Would you be happy? I doubt it, otherwise you would not have already made the decision to leave. All you have ... (read in full...)

Should I stop having sex with my boyfriend???

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 9 months. During month 6 he proposed to me the issue I am having is with sex I want enjoy having sex with him but I crave it so much I feel overwhelmed. We don't have sex often because I really want to s...

A.   22 February 2017: Sex isn't something that you can only have so many times in the lifetime of a relationship so I really don't understand the comment about saving most of it for marriage. Given good communication and physical compatibility, you can keep improving ... (read in full...)

How can this be resolved? I want a Baby. He couldn't think of anything worse.

Q.   My husband told me the other day he never wants to have children. I’m devastated. Don’t get me wrong I love him completely and can appreciate that it’s just how he feels but I feel angry and bitter and am having serious thoughts about leaving him if ...

A.   22 February 2017: If you had a child with him, you would be looking after TWO children, as he just sounds like a man-child. Having said that, I can totally get where he is coming from as, although I am female, the thought of having children has NEVER appealed... (read in full...)

Should I move on? She had a crush on this guy previously. They've had recent conversations with each other

Q.   I recently found out that my wife is having inappropriate conversations with someone who she had a crush on several years ago. I know for a fact that she asked this person a hypothetical question saying "Let me ask you something, what if I say he...

A.   22 February 2017: If this is just gossip, then you need to be very careful because a third party's version of events may not necessarily be an accurate portrayal of what was said, and they have no way of knowing what was meant or how serious it was. Also they could ... (read in full...)

I can't get in contact with my love who has moved on to another country. How can I deal with his absence?

Q.   This boy that I have fallen in love with has moved to Spain and I have no way of getting in touch with him. Although he is back in summer but that's 5 months away. I'm worried he might find another girl whilst he's there and everyday I worry an...

A.   22 February 2017: What if YOU find someone else while he is out there? That is just as possible if you let go of this infatuation and live for today. It doesn't sound like you are even in a relationship with this boy, if he didn't tell you he was leaving for all ... (read in full...)

Am I normal for hoping he could overcome his alcoholism?

Q.   I want to know if I am normal. I have been involved with an alcoholic on/of for ten years. I miss him deeply, like I am vexed. My mind knows the truth but my heart can not get the message. I weigh out the cons but the love I feel and felt outweighs ...

A.   21 February 2017: You have already waited for this man to change for 10 years. Are you going to wait another 10 years? Or more? Because I promise you, unless HE wants to change (and gets help to do so), NOTHING will change and YOU will carry on paying the price for ... (read in full...)

Did I just get friend-zoned?

Q.   So ive been talking to this girl , she Has trust issues from her past relationship she told me but before We texted each other goodnight she told me this Thanks for being the bestest friend.. did I just get friendzoned ??...

A.   20 February 2017: Funny how different we all are, isn't it? I would have taken that as a compliment. What better basis for a relationship than friendship? Be careful if this girl has trust issues because she could bring them with her if you start a relation... (read in full...)

Did I just get friend-zoned?

Q.   So ive been talking to this girl , she Has trust issues from her past relationship she told me but before We texted each other goodnight she told me this Thanks for being the bestest friend.. did I just get friendzoned ??...

A.   20 February 2017: Funny how different we all are, isn't it? I would have taken that as a compliment. What better basis for a relationship than friendship? Be careful if this girl has trust issues because she could bring them with her if you start a relation... (read in full...)

Is it true that men simply don't want to see my body type, over weight but not huge, or is my body type just boring to them?

Q.   My bf looks at porn with the women who are much thinner than me and also those who are extremely overweight . I am overweight but not huge like the bbw porn he likes and he says he doesn't have any porn of women like me because it's hard to find ...

A.   20 February 2017: Why do you only see yourself in terms of your body? You are a whole person. Your body is just PART of you. The women in the porn films ARE just bodies, at least for the purposes of the films. If your boyfriend makes you feel insecure, then it ... (read in full...)

Should I tell my ex-best friend I have feelings for him ?

Q.   I have a best guy friend. For about 2 years we were always together , flirting, deep connection . I can't explain it was more love . Everyone used to think we was a couple I'm 99% sure he liked me but neither of us pushed for it .I wasn't sure whe...

A.   19 February 2017: You have absolutely nothing to lose but so much to gain. Phone him, ask him out for a meal or a drink, and chat. Keep it light and friendly. He, after all, probably has no idea about your feelings so, if you were to suddenly spill them all out, he ... (read in full...)

How can I figure out what job suits me? Any tips on finding the perfect job?

Q.   I work in a prestigious corporate role and I absolutely hate it. I feel like my life revolves around my job and I'm so dependent on it (money) that everyday just feels robotic. I went to school undergrad and grad and now I have a corporate role as ...

A.   19 February 2017: I believe, if you find something you enjoy doing as a job, then it doesn't feel like work at all. HOWEVER, finding that something is the tricky part. The society we live in seldom pays high wages for something people enjoy doing - unless you are a ... (read in full...)

Should I get back into the dating world, before my youth fades?

Q.   Dear Cupid,I been single for almost going on 16 years. I stopped dating at the age of 32-33. I'm 45 now. My heart has been hurt so bad that I'm in fear of dating again I don't want a repeat of my pass so I just allow my youth to fade away. I ju...

A.   19 February 2017: What do YOU want to do? Do you feel you are missing out and want to give dating another go? Or are you actually quite happy on your own (some people are)? Some of the most fulfilled people I know have been on their own for a while (widowed... (read in full...)

Should I completely cut him off and just mend my broken heart?

Q.   I have been seeing a guy for about 2 months in a sort-of FWB situaton. We never specifically defined it as FWB, but I did say I wasn't looking for anything serious...Unfortunately I have started to catch feelings for him and it was eating me up ...

A.   18 February 2017: As you value his friendship, and as he has been very honest with you, I think you have two alternative ways to handle this situation: 1. You can continue as you are. You have to go into this with your eyes wide open though, knowing there is no gu... (read in full...)

How do I respond when friends query me on this? She uses a picture of herself with my BF as her profile picture on social media

Q.   Hi Everyone, I could use some advice. I am currently contemplating getting back into a relationship with my boyfriend of 7 years. We split for 3 years, and he began dating someone else. They recently had a child together, but are not in a relatio...

A.   18 February 2017: I would tell mutual friends to ask HER about the picture. After all, it is HER profile picture, not yours. As far as I am aware, she can use any picture she likes on her profile, so no bar on her using one of herself with the father of her child. ... (read in full...)

Is there any way I can remedy this situation? He's avoiding spending time alone with me!

Q.   My boyfriend and I were together all last spring 2016 and part of the summer, but we had known each other much longer then that and I am very close to his oldest son since he goes to school with my daughter and is alway over my house. It was his son ...

A.   18 February 2017: What do YOU want from this relationship? How does that compare to what you are actually getting? Not very well, I am guessing from your post. This man is allowing you to stay in a relationship on HIS terms. He does not appear to care what YOU want... (read in full...)

How do I cope with a gambling addicted boyfriend?

Q.   How do I cope with a gambling addicted boyfriend? My partner of 2 years started gambling a lot about 2/3 months into the relationship. Ive tried my hardest to support and understand this problem ive offered to go to counciling with him or pointed ...

A.   18 February 2017: Give him an ultimatum: the gambling or you. Then pack your bags and move out because I promise you he will pick the gambling. YOU cannot change him. HE needs to want to change. If he turns angry when denied his "fix", you could be putting... (read in full...)

I'm scared my girlfriend is going to break up with me because of the distance

Q.   Dear friends Well I'm quite scared my girlfriend will break up with me. I have had three relationships and the previous two both progressed the same way. It was perfect for a while, then they started to criticise me, act a bit cold. Then one day...

A.   18 February 2017: Keep in as much and regular contact as you can. Phone, skye, face-time, text, even write letters if that is practical. Email photos. While 4 months is not long in the grand scheme of things, it can seem like a lifetime when you are missing ... (read in full...)

Is he right to be annoyed? He was asleep, while I watched porn. He said that what I did was a form of cheating

Q.   Okay so My boyfriend always takes the mick out of me that I want sex too much. I do like it every day but I don't think that's a problem.. Anyway, that's not the issue. Last night he fell asleep when he knew I was horny, which isn't reall...

A.   17 February 2017: Well, it is his "right" to be annoyed about anything he likes, but it does not mean he IS right. If you had used the porn instead of having sex with him when he was actually up for it (no pun intended!), then that would be wrong. However,... (read in full...)

How can I stop feeling so very angry with my ex boyfriend? ?

Q.   Hi , I used to be in a relationship with this guy , we started off as being friends he was all pleasant he even sat alone with me to have lunch . But then things started to change, we both developed romantic feelings for each other, we both fel...

A.   17 February 2017: Hold onto that last thought. The guy is a player and a user. You already know you are better off without him. Luckily you saw through him early in the relationship. The opposite of love is not hate; it is indifference. Next time you see him... (read in full...)

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