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*oucannotbeserious

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Too long without the right man. Help!

Q.   It's going to be 5 years soon that I am single. Sure, I've met people and "dated" (very very briefly) a few guys but haven't been able to find a guy to actually have a decent relationship with in all this time. I enjoyed being single (primarily for ...

A.   25 June 2017: Well, as the saying goes, you sometimes have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince. Never give up. You never know who is round the corner. I am assuming you have told your friends you are looking to meet a nice man? Do they not know... (read in full...)

My boyfriend says he's depressed and needs space

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 plus months and everything was so wonderful and amazing but recently, he told me he wasnt happy/depressed because he has family issuses going on at home and I wasnt allowed to see him because of my mom. O...

A.   25 June 2017: We need to find happiness from within ourselves. He cannot expect YOU to make him happy if he is unhappy/depressed. You have a caring nature so you are trying to make him feel better but this is dragging you down. Give him the space he needs. ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend doesn't appreciate all that I do for him

Q.   I'm wondering if I can get any help and advice. My boyfriend and I, have been together since January. We met on tinder and have been a strong unit since. He had a good-ish paying job, a nice car, a very sweet and cheeky nature, and is just plain ha...

A.   25 June 2017: Sweetheart, you sound like an intelligent young lady. Your post is very articulate, well thought out and well written. Why do you think you don't deserve better than this user? Are you still hoping he is going to change back into the person you ... (read in full...)

I found out the man I'm dating is married

Q.   Am dating married man but on the first he didn't tell that is married,I found it by mi self.I feel like leave him but he is caring man every woman need,He says that he loves even he took me to his home but wife unknowing that am co,What can I do?...

A.   25 June 2017: You can put yourself in his wife's shoes and imagine how you would feel if your husband brought home a woman who is having an affair with but who he passed off as . . . what? What DID he pass you off as? A friend? A colleague? Imagine how she ... (read in full...)

He said he needs his space

Q.   I have been in a relationship with a guy for 14 months. We study in the same college and things were great. We loved each other. We used to spend a lot of time together and we were very happy. However as the college closed for the summer vacation, ...

A.   24 June 2017: It sounds like, in his own clumsy inept way, he is trying to say that you are too dependent on him and too clingy. I would assume you are no longer in a relationship. I suspect he may have found someone else who is of interest to him and is just ... (read in full...)

Am I foolish to forgive my girlfriend for cheating?

Q.   In January I found out that I'd been offered a promotion at work. A fantastic opportunity to change my life, but it involved 6 months living abroad. My girlfriend of 4 years didn't want me to go initially, but after talking things through she agreed ...

A.   24 June 2017: If she does not accept that she was wrong to cheat (loneliness is NOT an excuse - she could have gone out with friends or taken up a new hobby or made more of an effort to contact you), then yes, you are on a hiding to nothing by taking her back. If ... (read in full...)

Am I masturbating properly?

Q.   I'm 23 years old. I have plenty of confidence and feel sexy too. I have absolutely no clue if I'm touching myself properly because you can't touch my clitoris. Why does it hurt to touch my clit? Even when my ex boyfriend licked my clit it still hu...

A.   24 June 2017: Yes, I have this advice for you: enjoy what works FOR YOU. Do not compare yourself to other women, especially ones you see "enjoying sex" in porn films. It is not real. It is staged to titivate. Sadly a lot of men think the sort of sex you see in ... (read in full...)

His history has me worried

Q.   If you hear a guy beat up his ex' and you're kind of seeing him what would you do? I talked to him about it of course, yet it keeps bothering me... At first, though he admited it and said he took two years alone to fix himself i was okay. Yet i ke...

A.   24 June 2017: I am a great believer in humans having gut instincts for a good reason. If your gut instinct tells you this situation is potentially dangerous then, for crying out loud, LISTEN! Abusers have a great way of turning the blame onto the victim, saying ... (read in full...)

Should I make the first move second time around?

Q.   Hey everyone. I joined a dating site back in Jan. and had just got chatting with a nice guy but he did inform me he was leaving the site because he was going to see how it would go with someone. I’m still on the site and recently he's come back on. ...

A.   24 June 2017: Life's too short to look back one day with regret. You will never know if you don't ask. In your shoes I would just message him saying "Heh, did it not work out then?" and see what he comes back with. He might just be polite and not take things ... (read in full...)

I want to be strong for him at this time of terrible grief, but how?

Q.   My boyfriends brother died suddenly last week and it has hit the whole family hard. I am trying so hard to be strong for my boyfriend but every time I'm on my own I beak down in tears myself because I feel so sorry for him. He hasn't spoke much ...

A.   24 June 2017: I had a conversation with a colleague yesterday. She and her partner had a child a while back who was born with severe problems and subsequently died soon after his first birthday. They split up after a while but are now getting back together. One ... (read in full...)

How do I make the break for good?

Q.   I just read this article about having to let go of a true soulmate; that certain brands of soulmates come in fast, passionately - like a tornado only to be the impetus behind the ultimate crash and burn. So you love someone who also loves you b...

A.   24 June 2017: Are you sure he is your "soul mate"? If he was that TRULY, you could not bear to be away from him. You MAY have a strong connection, and you may always remember him as a special person in your life but, if you can't stay with him for long without ... (read in full...)

Have I put him off by staring?

Q.   There's this guy I had a feeling liked me or was attracted to me at least, I catch him looking and staring at me loads, always made an effort to speak to me in a group, got nervous sometimes and was always offering to help me or give me rides ho...

A.   23 June 2017: Perhaps he is hoping you will come inside, away from the crowd, and talk to him? Why don't you go in after him next time and just ask casually "Are you ok?" Perhaps he suffers from hay fever and finds being indoors easier? You will never know if you ... (read in full...)

Is my pedicure cause for concern?

Q.   I am not sure if I should be offended or not? But I AM!! I just got a pedicure and I love it. I like the colour. It is bright and summery. My boyfriend did not share my enthusiasm. He said pedicures with any colour draw attention to feet, and he ...

A.   23 June 2017: Like your boyfriend, I too think feet are ugly - especially my own. I keep them covered up as much as possible and can't stand anyone touching them. I won't touch other people's feet and don't like looking at them - especially if someone has long or ... (read in full...)

The man I'm dating lied he said he was 30, he's almost 44

Q.   Aunts and uncles! Please help.. So I've been seeing a guy for 5 months, I'm 25 and he's 30.. Things are a bit rocky here and there, but today iced the cake. I seen a comment on Facebook and decided to Snoop... I see him address his 38 year old brot...

A.   23 June 2017: I'm a little puzzled how you can not have guessed he was older than he said he was. It's not like there is a LITTLE difference between his implied and actual ages: there is 14 years! I do not know any 44 year olds who would pass for 30 - except with ... (read in full...)

I met him online, lied about everything and now 4 years later I know I need to tell him the truth but I don't know how

Q.   I met someone online 4years back when I was 17 - 18, so I joined in just for fun..members were not really serious about relationships but everyone was there after a breakup or divorce. And I decided to hide my identity and just to have chat with ...

A.   23 June 2017: I have to correct you. You have not "developed feelings for each other". At best HE has developed feelings for the person you have been pretending to be. Who is to say he has not been doing the same? If not, and he has been honest, then he is likely ... (read in full...)

My family doesn't approve of my boyfriend

Q.   Hello, I met this guy online, nearly 2 years ago. He's korean and I'm polish. There are quite a few things that my parents refuse to accept about him and they constantly try to make me break up with him. The main arguments are his short height, th...

A.   23 June 2017: You are still very young so, if I were your mother, I would just sit back and let things run their course because, at your age, it is highly unlikely the relationship will last very long as you (and your feelings) will change so much over the next ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend still hasn't told everyone that he is gay or about me. How should I proceed?

Q.   Hi there, I'm an out gay man and have known my boyfriend for 8 months and been with him 6 - he was in the closet when we got together and is still partly so. He recently came out to his parents and has said during every conversation on the topic ...

A.   22 June 2017: How does he propose to keep you secret from his family and friends if you move in together? Is he proposing to pass you off as a room=mate or just keep you hidden? I do think you need to give him chance to get to grips with this. He has only rec... (read in full...)

Do I ask him about marriage? children? He says he doesn't ever want to marry again

Q.   Is it wrong to ask my boyfriend to think about having children and getting married? We both have a daughter each, and he has been divorced for the last 3 years officially. He is 10 years older then me, and we met while he was in the process of g...

A.   22 June 2017: This is a bit of a "Schrodinger's cat" situation, isn't it? While you don't ask him, you don't know whether the answer is yes or no. It could be either so you can imagine either. You will only know by talking to him but first you need to decide what ... (read in full...)

Told my boyfriend I got a new job at a hotel. He was concerned men would look up my skirt.

Q.   I told my boyfriend I just got a new job! It will help me pay my bills and I really needed a job right now. It's in housekeeping at an upscale hotel. The first question he asked is what will I be wearing? He was concerned it would be a skimp...

A.   22 June 2017: You haven't put whereabouts in the world but I am pretty sure most hotels are not like your childish boyfriend has seen in porn films. Tell him you will be too busy working to be flirting with guests. Yes, I am sure you will get the occasion... (read in full...)

Should I contact my old tutor and tell him how much he meant to me?

Q.   So I need some advice about 'the one who got away..' I need to start with the fact that I had a really difficult childhood because my parents were quite abusive and had alcohol issues, and I had to depend on myself from a young age. But my wo...

A.   21 June 2017: Oh honey. I so want to give you a big hug - for what you have been through and also for what you have achieved. Your story is sad and inspiring in one. Little wonder you fell for this man. He sounds like the one dependable adult in your life whe... (read in full...)

Can anyone suggest how I to make this better?

Q.   I have big control issues - I like to micro manage everything and I also have trust issues. I have been going to therapy - and my husband said recently that he thinks I've gotten better. I had also given up alcohol. Then on Saturday night -...

A.   21 June 2017: He's still there. He hasn't given up on your yet. He sounds like a very fair and sensible man, but he also sounds like a man who has reached the end of his tether. Bringing children into this relationship as it is would be disastrous, especially ... (read in full...)

Am I wrong to find someone else other than my husband very attractive?

Q.   Hello there! I would love some advice on this. I have been married for two years to a wonderful guy. But we have been having family issues for quite some time now, fighting and arguing and me crying. I got transferred to a new place a month ba...

A.   21 June 2017: We don't become blind and deaf to the attraction of other people, just because we are in a relationship. HOWEVER, how we act on that attraction defines us morally. You are very vulnerable at the moment. You are far from home, your marriage... (read in full...)

Is there something going on between my husband and his co-worker?

Q.   Why is my husband gets annoyed when i ask him a question about the woman that he always with most of everyday at work? Is he having an enotional affair with this woman? It does not mean that i am doubting him. I tried to not be negative about i...

A.   20 June 2017: If you know he deletes their conversations, then you are obviously checking his phone. That can be annoying to the person whose phone it is and it can drive the person doing the snooping crazy. Stop doing that - for your own sanity. It is always ... (read in full...)

Is it normal for husbands and boyfriend to follow lingerie models on social media?

Q.   Is it normal for guys to follow all these girls on instagram and like their half naked pictures on instagram every time they post them? I'm a grown woman and single but I can tell u when I'm in a relationship I don't have eyes for other men and in ...

A.   19 June 2017: Why are you worried about this? This is not YOUR boyfriend. Why are you keeping tabs on him? To answer your question, I think it is a bit like dogs chasing cars. What would you do with it if you caught it, little doggie? Know what I'm saying? ... (read in full...)

I'm tempted to punish him by cheating on him

Q.   Hey all!! I'm in need of some good solid advice and know this website would be my best bet for non sugar coated advice. I know I'm not the only person going thru this type of stuff, so please help me thru it. I've been dating the same guy for...

A.   19 June 2017: Question: what are you getting out of this relationship? This abusive guy is taking you for a ride financially as well as cheating on you and abusing you in front of your daughter. WHY are you still with him? I know you say you worry about yo... (read in full...)

Is my ex meant to be back in my life?

Q.   How do you know if someone is being brought back into your life for a reason? My ex and I broke up almost 2 years ago and we had stopped talking for 4 months after we broke up, then out of the blue one day he texted me. And we've been talking eve...

A.   19 June 2017: This immature boy needs to grow up and start taking responsibility for his own life. If he didn't want to get engaged so soon, he should have stood his ground and said so. If he doesn't like the way his fiancee makes him feel, he should be ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend dumped me because she thinks I watch porn

Q.   Long story short my girlfriend of almost 3 years broke up with me cause she thinks I'm lying to her about not watching porn. It's rediculous if you saw how beautiful she was you'd understand. We've been exploring our sexuality together and I went o...

A.   19 June 2017: She was very young when you two got together. She has changed a lot over the course of your relationship. It is unusual for relationships started that early in life to last very long so, from that point, it is probably not surprising that she has ... (read in full...)

How do I keep my dignity now it's over?

Q.   Hello.. I recently wrote on here asking for advice about someone who I have been seeing, and I was trying to find a way in my head of knowing if they really cared about me and liked me. This person (who I work with) had hurt me before a few m...

A.   19 June 2017: Take a deep breath, hold your head high and carry on as if nothing had happened. The good thing about you keeping the relationship secret at work is that, hopefully, nobody else will know about it or, if they do, they will know it is not supposed to ... (read in full...)

Ruining my life with rumours. How doI fight it?

Q.   Hi This isn't a relationship question but I would appreciate your thoughts . First of all, believe me such people exist - the worst unimaginable leeches especially up here. I'm the type of person who likes to mind my own business and work hard on ...

A.   19 June 2017: Do you HAVE to share your life on line? I ask the question out of genuine interest as I don't know the way your career works. Do the on-line posts help promote you? Do you NEED to post to keep up a high profile? Or could you possibly cut back on the ... (read in full...)

Why did he give up his trip with the boys?

Q.   My boyfriend turned down a golf trip with the guys next weekend. It's out of town and they go every year. He said it's because he knows I worry and he doesn't want to upset me. In the past I have given him grief. Many of the guys go to strip club...

A.   19 June 2017: The only way you will know for sure is by sitting down and talking to him about it. My GUESS would be that you gave him so much grief that he decided the trip was not worth the hassle. OR he decided he didn't want to go this time for some oth... (read in full...)

How do I improve my body shape?

Q.   I'm 15, and I am 10 stone, (145 pounds) and 5 foot 7 inches. I my noobs were a 34c, but lately they've gone smaller and now I'm like a B cup. I haven't lost any weight and my blobs have gone smaller. It's making my self esteem low and it's making ...

A.   19 June 2017: If you only value yourself based on how you look, you will always be unhappy because someone will always have better boobs, better legs, nicer face, etc. I realize that, at your age, how you look is very important. While it is good to stay in ... (read in full...)

Is it right to ask her out now she is divorced?

Q.   I'm a single guy in my 40's. Two of my female friends have a friend that they used to work with who is in her late 30's - I'll call her Shirley. I met her a few times in casual social settings like going to the farmer's market and I always found he...

A.   19 June 2017: A camping trip, where you can try to spend a bit of time with her as a friend, sounds like a great idea. While I appreciate men are very visual creatures, it sounds like you actually know little about her at the moment except that she is attractive. ... (read in full...)

Unhappy newly wed, unemployed and losing my mind, help!

Q.   This is a bit long so bear with me. I am 30 years old, newly married to my bf of 2 years and unemployed. Yes, this information is necessary. When i'd met him in 2015 i'd quit my hectic job in consulting to something with less travel...but...

A.   18 June 2017: When you had your panic attack, did you tell the doctor EVERYTHING? Are you sure it was just down to work? After all, look at what you were dealing with in your relationship. Surely that must have been a factor? Even possibly the MAIN factor? ... (read in full...)

What could be going on with my new coworker-friend?

Q.   There is a new coworker at my job that came to work for a few months. He seems fun. He acts gay, but seems bi. Nit sure how to put it. I am a girl. We kind of been getting along well from the moment we met. Talk and joke a lot at work. But I have ...

A.   17 June 2017: Blimey. Where to start? Firstly, are you "a girl" or are you 36-40, as your profile says? I suspect from the content of your post that you are, in fact, a young girl, so, for the purposes of this reply, I will assume that to be the case. ... (read in full...)

Is my husband up to no good behind my back with another woman on Facebook?

Q.   Hello. I might sound like another jealous, insecure and paranoid wife with social media related relationship issues but here goes... I am a late bloomer on Facebook. I just started about 6 months ago. My husband of 3 years has had Facebook for 7 y...

A.   17 June 2017: Sweetheart, you need to listen to him: "He said who cares if she is. He is not interested." Just because we have the means to do something, does not mean we will do it. I have the means to rob a bank or stab people, but it doesn't mean I am going to ... (read in full...)

14 months into the relationship, things aren't looking good, he is criticizing and we are arguing. What would you do?

Q.   Help!!! I am sorry if this is a long post but I need some advice. where to start? ok, so about 14 months ago I met the man of my dreams. He is loving, caring and we have so much in common (or so I thought) we started off slow and then got into a ...

A.   16 June 2017: I think the fact that this relationship is so bad at such an early stage is a very good reason to cut ties NOW and walk away. If you had invested years in the relationship, had children together, supported each other through good times and bad, and ... (read in full...)

I changed my mind about having children, he wants children would this be the end of our relationship?

Q.   Hi everyone, this one is a difficult one for me. I recently got engaged to a man I love and think the world off, the time we been together we have had minor disagreements, but other than that the relationship has progressed smoothly. Lately I have ...

A.   16 June 2017: The child, if you have one, will have TWO parents, not just a mother. Your husband cannot just absolve himself of all responsibility and put the burden of decision and care planning onto you. As with all healthy relationships, you may need to ... (read in full...)

Who could this strange woman be who showed up asking questions about me?

Q.   Can anyone help me make sense of this situation? I live in a house. I rent the downstairs portion. My landlord who owns the home told me that this morning a woman knocked on his door asking questions about me. I was not home at the time. She ...

A.   16 June 2017: Have you had any affairs? Could it be a wife/girlfriend trying to make trouble? Could it be a girlfriend of an ex trying to make trouble? All sounds very iffy. If they were there on official business, they would have identified themselv... (read in full...)

Recently diagnosed with HSV-1 and HSV-2, he tested himself and results were negative??

Q.   So I have a few concerns about my current situation. To begin, I was having low back pain for about 5 months and I finally decided to go to the doctor to try to get it checked and maybe some relief medication. While I was there my PCP also did ...

A.   16 June 2017: YES! LEAVE! NOW! I cannot believe you are even asking the question! He does not even have the balls to break up with you so, instead, like the coward he is, is just distancing himself and making you feel guilty for having an illness, so YOU ... (read in full...)

Will I ever get over this love? Its been 2 years since we broke things off

Q.   My heart is still broken after almost 2 years. We did continue to see one another until 8 months ago, off and on. He is much younger, 14 years, and from another country. We were together for 11 years. I felt l knew him immediately and have always ...

A.   16 June 2017: Sending hugs. Some relationships are more difficult to get over than others. HE has moved on and YOU haven't. I think, if you are able (because I do not underestimate the pull of this man for you), you need to cut ALL contact with him. Having h... (read in full...)

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