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*oucannotbeserious

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Is this guy I met online showing serious red flags?

Q.   I joined an online dating app two weeks ago haha, put a few pics of myself up and filled up my bio which tbf was pretty detailed. Anyway I got a message out of the blue from this guy, not unusual ofc, but he lived like 5 hrs away (on the other si...

A.   28 April 2017: How many more red flags do you need before you walk away from this guy? Why are you wasting your time on him? Is it because nobody else has shown an interest yet so you think he is better than nothing? This guy has targeted you for a reason. If... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has a fetish for my work clothes, is that weird?

Q.   My boyfriend has a fetish for my work clothes, is that weird? I work in an office and wear skirts and blouses on a daily basis. When I first started dating him he said he loved what I was wearing but recently it seems to have got even more intens...

A.   28 April 2017: As long as this does not become something he absolutely needs every time in order to enjoy sex with you, then I really wouldn't worry. Satin, silk and leather are very common materials for men to get aroused by. (Not sure about the leather, but the ... (read in full...)

My husband wants to move to another country. I don't

Q.   My husband wants to move overseas to expand his business. He already has a team abroad but wants to be there in person. Long story short it makes sense for the business I, however, want to stay here. I'm not fond of the country he wants to move to...

A.   28 April 2017: Any choice you make can always be reversed at a later date. Just because you go to live somewhere, does not necessarily mean you have to stay for the rest of your life. Can you show willing and go in the first instance, on the proviso that you... (read in full...)

The fiance, the step daughter, the baby mama and possible cheating!

Q.   Hello, I have been engaged for over 2 years to the man of my dreams. However,we dont get along all the time. He has a daughter and I have a son. Now, his babymother is in the picture and my son father is not. But he gets his daughter every w...

A.   28 April 2017: The man of your dreams? Really? How? I notice you don't mention anything GOOD about him in your post so I do wonder what you get out of this relationship. In your shoes I would certainly not be comfortable with his ex asking him to father another ... (read in full...)

He went to a strip club, I went to see male dancers and an "eye for an eye" isn't feeling good right now

Q.   I feel like the back story is needed (see below). But, my question is how do I let go of the fact my boyfriend went to a strip club TWO nights in a row while on business? I eneded up going to a male strip club for a girls night recently, now I'm ...

A.   28 April 2017: Either you trust your boyfriend, or you don't. You need to decide. If you trust him, STOP CHECKING ON HIM! That is out of order and will never end well. If you DON'T trust him, your relationship lacks any foundations, so wish him well and let... (read in full...)

My partner versus my children. Am I over-reacting about it all ?

Q.   I've had a big argument with my partner and I'm wondering if I'm in the wrong about it all. I have two children from a previous relationship who are 13 and 11 and I think they are well behaved. They do extremely well in school, at parents evening ...

A.   26 April 2017: You need to grow a backbone and stick up for your girls before they start to feel like they matter less than this idiot of a boyfriend you have acquired. It appears from your post that you have three children, not two. He is supposed to be the a... (read in full...)

Am I cheating on my boyfriend? ? Hope not.

Q.   Am I cheating on my boyfriend!! I downloaded tinder to relook at my old profile which he knew about and I used it for a couple of days and got chatting to one Man for a while. Little thing or anything but i dont any feeling toward him ! But ...

A.   26 April 2017: You need to concentrate your attention and efforts on improving your relationship with your boyfriend rather than chatting to other men and then stressing about it. "But i love my boyfriend as we have been in a 3 year relationship and have kno... (read in full...)

My b/f made fun of me and called me a pansy because I refused to do something that I felt was dangerous

Q.   I know we all say things to hurt our significant other's feelings at times. Something happened this weekend, and it might sound dumb, but I need another perspective on this. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. He isn't afraid to ...

A.   25 April 2017: You should have got a long stick and pushed him off the end of the tree! And then called him a pansy when he complained about getting wet. He is childish and trying to show how "brave" he is because he has found someone who, in his eyes, is not a... (read in full...)

Dealing with my Boyfriend's Existential Crisis

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost four years now. It is a delicate relationship, as he has never been with any other woman sexually or as seriously as he has been with me. About a year and a half ago, he broke up with me. It was ...

A.   25 April 2017: First of all, you are NOT under a contract to live together until the end of the year. You may be under a contract to pay the rent on your living space but one of you can move out if you can get someone else to take over your share of the rent. If ... (read in full...)

My g/f hasn't changed her status on FB yet does that mean we are not broken up?

Q.   My fiancé and I have been together for almost three years and engaged for 7 months. I wrongly accused her of having a 'thing' for her brother in law a few times which has led to us having a 'break' for a few weeks. We reconciled but it took some...

A.   25 April 2017: It means simply that she does not live her life on Facebook. If you are going to check Facebook to find out where your life is up to, you will be very disappointed. For a start, most of your "friends" will not be there for you when you need them but ... (read in full...)

How do I approach a guy that I don't know?

Q.   How can I aproach a guy I dont know? I dont talk about anyone special right now but I have a terrible fear of negative evaluation. I look good, I has a very modern clothing style and generally Im super talkative. But when it comes to talk to someone ...

A.   24 April 2017: There is nothing more off-putting than someone who doesn't acknowledge your presence, so, for a first step, just make eye contact, smile and say "Hello". Unless someone is deep in thought, they will usually return the smile and the greeting. ... (read in full...)

Despite my scepticism, will I ever, in the future, be likely to have a close connection and a loving mutually satisfying relationship with a man?

Q.   Info- 23/F/from the UK Ok so I'm gonna try and be as basic as I can with my question, so you don't have to read pages of rubbish lol I'm basically extremely skeptical that I'll EVER meet anybody in the future who I'll feel a close connection...

A.   24 April 2017: You are making the very wrong assumption that there is only one person out there for you - this man who you have blown your chances with. Although you now think he was "the one", obviously you didn't at the time you were with him (reasons are ... (read in full...)

Should I ask my husband about his scratch? Could he be cheating?

Q.   Could a small scratch on your husband's ear - behind the ear lobe - mean he cheated? I just noticed it today. He was not clean shaven. He had stubble on his cheeks. So it could not be a razor cut. Should I confront him or leave it be?...

A.   23 April 2017: Blimey, if I was cheating every time I got a fresh scratch or cut, there would not be enough hours in the day for me to have that many encounters! I have scratched myself, with my own nails, accidentally on a number of occasions, or caught m... (read in full...)

Is my relationship healthy?

Q.   I am 20 and my boyfriend is 27. We got into a relationship pretty fast. I expressed how not having sex until marriage was important to me but after a month he talked me into it. We have went out a lot and he says things like this relationship...

A.   23 April 2017: I do hope you are using reliable contraception and that you will not allow your boyfriend to railroad you into getting pregnant until you are ready to take such a big step. I do worry that, as you allowed him to talk you into having sex after such a ... (read in full...)

I'm seeing a prostitute who says she is pregnant and the baby is mine

Q.   Here is the situation I am in love with a prostitute, from the beginning I accepted her for who she is and what she does as a prostitute but it's hard to me as a man, knowing she dates other men for money I mean i do love her and she says she does ...

A.   23 April 2017: Sweetheart, you really need to keep a level head on this one. She has sex with men for money. She has had sex with numerous men. There is no way she can state the baby is yours. Are you even certain she is pregnant? This could be a scam to get m... (read in full...)

My wife's co-worker gifted her diamond jewellery. Would "just friends" do this?

Q.   My wife recently received a "HW" diamond ankle bracelet and matching toe rings (2) from a fellow worker who she swears is just a good friend. They go out of town on business trips two or three times a month staying for at lest 2 nights each ...

A.   23 April 2017: Hm, bit of a strange - not to mention extravagant - present to give a friend or a business colleague. On the other hand, if she felt guilty about it, would she have told you about it? She could easily have either hidden it or said she bought i... (read in full...)

I enjoy getting hit on but how do I keep my respect?

Q.   I am 42 yr old average looking guy and am getting hit by young girls more then before since I took up fitness and gained weight. Now I find my every interaction with the opp sex becomes sexual. Even my sis in law has started flirting with me ...

A.   23 April 2017: Enjoy the attention by all means but don't abuse it. For instance, family members are definitely out of bounds, unless you want to have your whole family structure come crashing down around you - and your new found confidence will not help you... (read in full...)

She says she's into guys but does she like me?

Q.   A girl has been getting closer to me and grabbing my wrist, and above my wrist but below the elbow. I'm also a girl but am not a lesbian. She says shes into guys but me and my friend are not so sure. my other friend is a girl. Do you think that girl ...

A.   23 April 2017: You think she fancies you because she touches your arm? Blimey, I have a number of friends (and work colleagues) who fancy me, if that is the bar! (For the record, I really do NOT think, for one instant, that they do.) She is probably just a t... (read in full...)

He watches porn of girls that are the age of our daughters! I can't help but be turned off!

Q.   Have been getting serious with a man for some time now and he Is talking about future things . I recently was at his house and his computer is full of porn . I knew he watched porn but all the women were around 20 at oldest 25 . It honestly made me ...

A.   23 April 2017: Chigirl has said exactly what I was thinking while reading your post. Yes, there IS porn out there with older women, but it needs to be looked for. There is porn available with ALL SORTS of women (very old, amputees, trans-genders, etc) but the ... (read in full...)

How can I successfully connect with, and keep, new friends with good souls and good conversation? I seem to be losing friends.

Q.   Lately I've been losing lots of my friends. I've been feeling very distant and annoyed by the people around me and i get very negative vibes from them. My two best friends and i are already drifting apart,and their attitude towards me really c...

A.   22 April 2017: Hang in there; there ARE good people out there. You just have to find them. Also, to have a friend, you need to BE a friend. Is YOUR conversation interesting? Do YOU have a good soul? I notice more and more that the art of conversation is ... (read in full...)

I am at the end of desperation with my relationship problem.

Q.   I am a married man and I got involved with this super nice girl at work. I love her slightly more than my wife but I can't leave my marriage because of my children. I wanted to leave my wife until my children confronted me and I had no choice. When ...

A.   22 April 2017: Have you ever had a cut and put a plaster on it, in a place where you have hair? When you needed to remove the plaster, you had two options: pull slowly and get a little bit of pain for a long time, or pull quickly and get one swift stab of pain and ... (read in full...)

Birth control question--can't find the information I need on the internet

Q.   I know this sounds like another dumb girl asking a birth control question but I can't find any relevant information on this. I've tried the pill. I've tried Nuva Ring. Hormonal birth control makes me gain weight and kills my sex drive. Plus the ...

A.   22 April 2017: No boyfriend wants to wear condoms? Does said boyfriend want to be a parent and take on the financial, physical and emotional responsibility of having a child? You don't like them either? Do you like the thought of getting pregnant? Serious... (read in full...)

My husband lies about watching porn and masturbating

Q.   My husband lies about watching porn and masturbating. I know he does this to avoid an argument, and I don't really mind his porn usage - I just don't want him to be lying to me. However we had a massive argument a couple of weeks ago - it came up...

A.   21 April 2017: I think you have a much bigger problem here than your husband wishing to keep his porn usage to himself. THAT, in my book, SHOULD be kept to himself and I find it astounding that you demand to know about it. A far bigger problem is that he is la... (read in full...)

Why was all the porn my husband watched incest related? He says its just a coincidence

Q.   I found my husbands browser history and all of the porn he had watched was incest porn, mostly step sister and step mom. He claims he didn't look at the titles. He just clicked on a few that looked good from the picture and waited to see which one ...

A.   21 April 2017: I wonder if this is similar to when you hear about men who were subjected to strapping or caning at school (years ago, obviously) who subsequently found that sort of thing turned them on during sex. I doubt it was just "coincidence", as your hus... (read in full...)

Shall I tell them to stop setting me up?

Q.   This happens to me constantly, and it always puts me in an awkward position. I am never interested in the guy they've chosen for me, and then I feel guilty a.) because I feel I'm disappointing the friend who is doing the setting up, and b.) I fe...

A.   19 April 2017: How rude! And I don't mean YOU, I mean your "friends". If you have turned down guy after guy, would you not think they would question whether what they are attempting to do is right? Do they have no empathy? Why would friends put you in such an ... (read in full...)

I'm attractive but never approached by men. Do other women have this problem?

Q.   I am 22 and I am never approached by men. I live in America where men are notorious for approaching women. Yet, strangers tell me that I am beautiful/pretty. I talked to a guy and he assumed I had a bf, when I said no, he was in shock. He said I was ...

A.   19 April 2017: Perhaps men think you are TOO attractive and, hence, "out of their league"? Perhaps you give the impression that you are high maintenance? Perhaps you don't look friendly? There is nothing more attractive than a smile. Try making eye contact and ... (read in full...)

My husband pays far too much attention to his brother's chesty girlfriend

Q.   My husbands younger brother has this girlfriend she's quite pretty and has a large chest and everyone loves her and all the rest of it bla bla bla. My husband openly stares at her in front of everybody it's like he doesn't even try to hide it even ...

A.   19 April 2017: Comparing you unfavourably with this lady in front of others is just out of order and your husband needs to be told in no uncertain terms. It shows lack of respect and a sick sense of humour if running down the mother of his children is what he ... (read in full...)

When I try to talk to my girlfriend about her flaws it always turns into an argument

Q.   Okay so i have a girlfriend and i love her to bits but sometimes she can doing very annoying things, but whenever i bring them up she acts like its a massive problem and it always turns into an argument....

A.   19 April 2017: Are these "very annoying things" deal breakers for you? If so, you may as well get out of the relationship NOW because it does not sound like she has any intention of changing. If not, learn ways of not letting them annoy you so much. Remember, we ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend travels constantly and has friends and family he refuses to let me meet

Q.   I'm 44 years old, my boyfriend is 53. We have been dating for 4 years now. He has 2 jobs. One job has fee flying perks. So far in 4 years he has gone to Costa Rica, Dominican Republic, Mexico, Philippines, Thailand, Japan, he went to Las Vegas and ...

A.   18 April 2017: What are you actually getting from this "relationship"? Your gut instinct is telling you there is something badly wrong. For crying out loud, LISTEN and dump this user. There is no way you are his "one and only". I would bet big money he is marri... (read in full...)

Is it weird that I am 19 years old and I still hang out with my parents ?

Q.   Hello, Well, i am 19 years old, i am studying in college, but still living with my parents. The thing is i don't hang out with my friends: i still don't drive and we live far away from the city, and there's no public transport nearby. So whene...

A.   17 April 2017: Are you worried about the time you are actually WITH your family, or is it the fact that you feel you are missing out on social life with your friends? If the former, then I really would not give that a second thought and just enjoy yourself ... (read in full...)

Is it worth breaking up over this situation?

Q.   Alright so this is kind of a confusing situation for me and I'm really in need of opinions/advice. I've been with my fiance for a little over 3 years. A couple months ago, I found out that he was talking to another woman basically the same way...

A.   17 April 2017: Interesting that it didn't actually bother you that your fiance would scam women, just that he was sharing intimate texts with this woman. So if he had been scamming her but not sending her the intimate texts, you would have been ok with marrying a ... (read in full...)

Ho do I deal with her speaking FOR my Dad all the time?

Q.   Dad's girlfriend is always speaking FOR my dad. She comes off very possessive but in an enthusiastic way. Constantly bragging about how she is with my dad. I didn't think much of it at first but overtime I have seen more signs of her narcissistic ...

A.   17 April 2017: You dad is an adult and (we assume) of sound mind. What does HE think of all this? Is he happy for her to do all the work and make all the plans on his behalf? Some people are happy to just sit back while others sort out their lives for them. It is ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend's casual sexual encounters are bothering me

Q.   My gfs sexual past has been bothering me more and more recently. When we first started going out she was my first, I have no sexual experience with any other women whatsoever. So when I found out she'd slept with 8 other men, including one night ...

A.   16 April 2017: She was free and single at the time she had these encounters. It was not like she was cheating on you. It was her body to share with who she pleased. On the plus side, she has hopefully got these wild encounters out of her system and apprecia... (read in full...)

I waited 3 years to tell my LDR boyfriend that I have 2 children and now he's unsure of how he feels

Q.   I've been in a 3 year long distance relationship with my boyfriend. I'll admit I've been wrong in never disclosing to him that I've been married, divorced, and have two teenage children. I'm also 42 yrs old while he's only 33 yrs old. I've trav...

A.   16 April 2017: While I understand you wanting to keep your children away from him until you were more sure of the relationship, not even admitting to them was (in my opinion) out of order. It was a LIE. Your children are part and parcel of any relationships you ... (read in full...)

Is it all in my head or do I have something to be worried about?

Q.   So to be completely honest I'm 16 and I'm worried my boyfriend came in me about 3-4 weeks ago.. it's really been messing with me.. I took the morning after pill as soon as I could which was the third day but a little bit after 72 hours. I asked him ...

A.   15 April 2017: Nobody can tell you whether you are pregnant. You need to go and have a pregnancy test AS SOON AS POSSIBLE so you know for sure. What I CAN tell you, however, is that the morning after pill is NOT a form of contraception but an emergency measure ... (read in full...)

Am I asking too much of my fiance?

Q.   my fiance in the past has been drugged while at a club, drives 1.5 hrs from clubs after drinking.. all i ask when out on girls night out or on our dates is that i get texte,called or snapchatted to know she is home safe . i get: i fell asleep,phone ...

A.   15 April 2017: Your fiancee may be trustworthy but she is thoroughly irresponsible and inconsiderate. What would happen if she was in a driving accident after drinking? Whether it was her fault or not, she would be in trouble. What if she killed someone while ... (read in full...)

I believe I am the one for him. Is his staring at me significant? He likes this other girl who doesn't like him back.

Q.   In school I really like this boy who is my best friend's ex. He always stares at me and told my friend I was pretty but he likes this other girl who doesn't like him back. I really want to talk to him and make him realize that I am the one for him....

A.   15 April 2017: Are you the same girl who posted recently, with the same question, but put your age as 13-15? ... (read in full...)

Husband comes home drunk with his underwear inside out and stained. Is he cheating?

Q.   Yesterday my husband came late from work again. This time it was far worst than the last time ... He works at a restaurant , he is a waiter. Three weeks ago he came home 6 hours later after leaving the workplace, He doesn't use a cellphone since he ...

A.   15 April 2017: Are you the same lady who already posted on here a few weeks back, asking a similar question about cheating? Surely there can't be TWO women who post on here, who freely admit to sniffing their husband's dick to check if he has been cheating. ... (read in full...)

Should I message him just one more time?

Q.   I went on a date with a guy who i really fancy ( i had already met him before so not a stranger ) He also said i was better than he thought . I left him a message on the dating site we are on saying if he wants to meet up again to contact me, ...

A.   15 April 2017: You left him a message but he didn't respond. Presumably he could work out how to contact you if he really wanted to. The guy is simply not interested but doesn't have the manners to say so. He is therefore, in my book, not a very nice person and ... (read in full...)

How do guys cope with knowing their Gf's ex was well endowed? Do girls miss it and just settle ?

Q.   Hello all, I have always struggled with intimate things as I would be worried about if my partner had been with very well endowed men. I know that statistically most guys will have to deal with that. But how do they? It always seems like...

A.   15 April 2017: It always amazes me how many men fixate on this one small (no pun intended) part of their body, instead of things that matter like kindness, personality, generosity, humour, etc. Yes, I am sure there are a few women out there who actually... (read in full...)

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