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My ex is living with his partner but confessing to love me. Is he playing games?

Q.   I split with my partner two years ago. He gets in contact every few months to say he misses me etc. Not long after we split (he ended the relationship) he met someone else. He’s confessed it was a rebound. Last month he told me that I’m the only ...

A.   18 December 2017: Basically his new relationship has come to the end of its honeymoon stage and settled down into normal mundane everyday life. It is no longer exciting enough to keep his full attention, just as his relationship with you wasn't a couple of years ago. ... (read in full...)

Signs he is a compulsive liar? what the heck is that attitude after breakup?

Q.   Hey everyone, So I broke up with my bf about 1 month and a half ago. I am 22, he is 25. We had been together for 1 year and a half. We met as international students (in Australia, I was exchange student and he was studying engineering ther...

A.   18 December 2017: Sometimes we have to settle for NOT understanding a situation and accept that there is no acceptable explanation. After all the crazy lies, surely you must realize you are much better off without him? Stop trying to contact him. There is NO emerg... (read in full...)

Three men and I can't date them all. Who would you pick?

Q.   I appreciate your help in advance. I don’t know what to do with these three men in my life. I’m 40 years old divorced with one child. My ex husband who is trying to take me back and hasn’t moved on 3 years after our divorce. I know the first guy who ...

A.   18 December 2017: Well, first of all you have to decide whether there is any future with your ex husband. If not, you need to make that very clear to him so he is not holding out hope and "muddying the waters". Secondly, why do you not go out on a couple of dates... (read in full...)

Her kids and mine are cousins, is it okay to date?

Q.   So I have started to date or have been with and seen, my ex wife’s brothers ex wife I have a son with my ex and she has two kids with her ex who is my ex wife’s brother. Our kids are cousins but we both want no more kids. We both feel this could be ...

A.   17 December 2017: There is no blood connection between you and your ex wife's brother's ex wife (unless she is a member of YOUR family) so there is absolutely no reason why you should not date. One of our circle of friends is currently in the exact same position... (read in full...)

Is my boyfriend too sexually demanding?

Q.   I’ve been with my boyfriend around half a year. He has really bad anger issues which he has been trying to control but he still has his outbursts. One of the things that triggers these outbursts is when I don’t give him head when he wants it. ...

A.   17 December 2017: I deserve better. I deserve better. I deserve better. Sweetheart, you need to KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT and ACT on it. You are already in an abusive relationship. Trust me when I tell you things will only escalate. You've only been ... (read in full...)

How do I act with this coworker?

Q.   How do I act with my coworker- a little background -when I started working for this law firm I noticed that me and one of the senior lawyer were attracted to each other BUT he is married. Although I would never push the envelope I do notice he might ...

A.   16 December 2017: I would imagine your co-workers are gossiping about you because they only ever see you talking to this one guy, put 2 and 2 together, and come up with their own total. This is just cliche office environment. Also, you don't know what he has been ... (read in full...)

Is there a chance my crush likes me back?

Q.   There is a guy nice guy at my church and I liked him the monent I saw him but he had a girlfriend and I back off which was a year ago and forgot about him. Me and him are in the same weekly church group but never really talked much Recently I had...

A.   16 December 2017: Trust your gut feeling. You suspect he hardly notices your existence and you are probably right. You need to step out of your comfort zone and actually interact a bit with him. Make him notice you. Smile. Speak to him. It doesn't take much to ... (read in full...)

My wife wants an open relationship, I don't

Q.   My wife insists on a open relationship for her but not for me. I am very resentful about this but she says its this or nothing. I love her but I am going nuts....

A.   16 December 2017: I am so sorry. You may love her, but she obviously does not love you enough to stay faithful. She obviously cares more about screwing around than about your marriage. It takes two to make a relationship work and she is not on board here. Much as ... (read in full...)

He wants me to change, I want him to love me as I am.

Q.   I'm feeling kind of hopeless in the relationship I'm in. We'e been together nearly 10 months, age gap between us is 15 years. We get a long great, there is so much chemistry. We love each other very much. There is however an issue that we find ...

A.   13 December 2017: You are who you are. He is who he is. Neither of you is necessarily "right" or "wrong". You are just very different and looking for very different things in a partner. Can you see yourself with this man years down the line, arguing all the time... (read in full...)

Do I owe her an apology?

Q.   Dear cupid, Guys I've done something stupid and I don't know how to make it up. I feel like I am a dirt bag for this but I feel like I was being taken advantage of and I lashed out. See I've kind of sort of been seeing this girl for the past 7 m...

A.   12 December 2017: Sweetheart, people are NEVER "too busy" to reply to a text for days on end. It is just a case of priorities - and YOU are way down HER list of priorities. You do NOT owe her an apology. You owe her NOTHING - which is exactly what she has been giv... (read in full...)

Red flags are everywhere. He's a nice guy but was I right to end it?

Q.   I met this guy online, tall, good looking, we met at a coffee shop right away and everything seemed fine until after I got home that night. He was texting me the longest messages I’ve ever seen. They were paragraphs. Usually guys tend to be the ones ...

A.   10 December 2017: Blimey, what is it exactly you actually LIKE about this guy? I would have been running out on him on the first date. His friend may be telling the truth, he may be lying. If he's telling the truth, your man is an addict. If he's telling lies, yo... (read in full...)

How do I control something that is so compulsive in my nature?

Q.   I dunno if this is the right place to ask this question but here goes... I'm a motorcyclist and I'm impulsive and crave the thrill of speed.I had another accident today... This must be my fifth and it looks like I have completely torn my rotator ...

A.   10 December 2017: Can you channel your need for speed towards something else? Perhaps another sport? Even a sport involving motorbikes? Public highways are not the place for indulging your need. You already know what can happen. Next time you might not walk awa... (read in full...)

What would you think if your doctor said you look good?

Q.   My male doctor surprised me the other day when I went in for an office visit. After discussing my medical problem he asked if I cut my hair and said I looked good.My hair hasn't changed the last few months plus I have been seeing him every 1-2 weeks ...

A.   10 December 2017: It is possible he was just trying to make small talk, as he has seen you a few times recently. However, if you felt uncomfortable with that, then it is an issue. Could you perhaps see a different doctor at the same practice next time? Total... (read in full...)

Will he always cheat on me?

Q.   Hi, so my boyfriend and I have been together for two years now and a month ago I caught him talking to other girls on snapchat and receiving nudes. I pulled him up on it and was going to leave him however gave him a second chance. A few days ago...

A.   10 December 2017: I have a question for YOU: do you want to spend the next few years of your life (however long your relationship with this guy lasts, in whatever format it might take), wondering what he is up to and feeling insecure? You already know what he does. ... (read in full...)

I'm having some trouble with my crushes

Q.   I'm having a lot of trouble with my crushes. Do you have any advice on what I should do? How should I deal with this? I'm dealing with a lot right now and I want to resolve all my crush problems first. Basically, around a year ago I started li...

A.   10 December 2017: Crushes are a sort of "trial run" or - in theatrical terms - "dress rehearsal" for the real thing. You are starting to look at certain individuals and find them attractive. This is totally normal. What you have to understand is that not everyone... (read in full...)

A practical joke gone horribly wrong

Q.   My friend Bailey and I played a joke on our friend Eve just to embarrass her and teach her a lesson but Bailey took it too far and now Eve got suspended and her parents punished her real bad. She's not aloud to talk to us or anyone or go anywhere ...

A.   10 December 2017: What a strange story. Eve got blamed for this? On what planet? Surely it was obvious this was not her disgusting work? I am not sure I actually believe your story. Are you a troll? Let's give you the benefit of the doubt and assume what you are ... (read in full...)

I need help to control his binge drinking

Q.   I need some advice. My husband has a problem with binge drinking. He can't stop at a couple and will just keep on drinking to he passes out. We don't really drink at home so it's only a problem if he goes out for drinks with friends. He normally ...

A.   9 December 2017: Sadly you can't force him to do anything. You can't force him not to go to the party. You can't force him not to drink to excess. You can't force him to get help for his problem. How long are you prepared to stay and watch him do this - to himse... (read in full...)

Troubled and confused by girlfriend and her kitten

Q.   Dear all This problem is a bit strange and you may think I am weird, however this is just the way I am. I am in a long distance relationship with a girl I love very much. We have plans to be together soon. Recently she out of the blue to...

A.   9 December 2017: You sound like a lovely caring young man. However, if your girlfriend is all stressed out just because the kitten woke her once, then is sounds like her mother was correct about her not being capable of looking after an animal. Any pet is a ... (read in full...)

I'm unhappily married but in love with a man who's engaged but hesitant to leave his fiance

Q.   Please could I ask for some advice on my situation... I have been married for 3 years but for the last year the marriage has been very difficult and we both feel that we have grown too far apart to fix things, although haven’t yet said we will div...

A.   8 December 2017: For a start off, I think you need to sort out your marriage. Either you choose to stay together, or you split up and divorce. If you are both sure the marriage has run its course, then you need to end it quickly and cleanly and free yourselves to ... (read in full...)

I’m worried commitment means forfeiting sexual fulfillment, any advice?

Q.   I’m in my mid-twenties and have been in a loving relationship six years, but I’m frustrated by my attraction to others. Whilst my partner has a colourful sexual history, I’ve only ever been with them and I feel by staying, I’m losing opportunities ...

A.   8 December 2017: The excitement of new sex soon wears off. Every long-term relationship settles down in terms of the amount of sex you have. Women need to feel loved to want sex, while men need sex to feel loved. If your partner is female (I notice you delibera... (read in full...)

Do you find this touching odd or it’s normal?

Q.   Hi, I have a question and would appreciate your inputs. I’m 40 years old and just started dating 5 years after my divorce. I’m independent with a great job. I met a guy online who turned out to have some mutual friends with. He is 45, professional, ...

A.   8 December 2017: You have mutual friends. Can you ask any of them anything about him? I would like to think all this was was a man who has been out of the dating loop for many years not being sure what is expected of him. Perhaps he is naturally a "touchy ... (read in full...)

I want her back but she doesn't want a relationship. How can she just walk away?

Q.   So, there was this girl I met two years ago and I am in love with her (we dated and were pretty serious) . I am in the military and I was stationed in Alaska.( Where I met her, I am originally from Florida). But I hurt her and she well I left ...

A.   7 December 2017: If that last post is really from the original poster (why is it coming up as female?), then you need professional help, my friend. Being a Christian does not mean she has to be your doormat. She probably HAS forgiven you but that does not mean... (read in full...)

I want her back but she doesn't want a relationship. How can she just walk away?

Q.   So, there was this girl I met two years ago and I am in love with her (we dated and were pretty serious) . I am in the military and I was stationed in Alaska.( Where I met her, I am originally from Florida). But I hurt her and she well I left ...

A.   7 December 2017: Let me put this into perspective for you. Take a clean sheet of paper. Look at it. Now crumple it up as hard as you can into as small a ball as you can. Now try to iron it out with your hand and make sure you keep saying "sorry" to it. Does it look ... (read in full...)

My sons are using the house for dating. What should I tell them?

Q.   I’m a single dad of two teenage boys, one is 17 (almost 18) the other is 15. My oldest has a girlfriend and recently I found out they have been using my house after school for their hook up spot. I came home from work last week and found an empt...

A.   6 December 2017: They are 17. They are of age to indulge in sex. If they were 13, I would be concerned but you cannot stop 17 year olds' raging hormones. To me, you and your eldest son are both being very sensible and adult about this situation. YOU are right in... (read in full...)

His family is getting me down. What should I do?

Q.   Hi everyone.. i need help and opinion from you about my husband. We are newly married and still living with his parents house for financial security and cultural things. We plan that once we can financially stable we will move out and live on ...

A.   6 December 2017: The big difference between men and women (of most cultures, I suspect) is that women just want to talk and have someone just listen, while men feel they have to FIX things. Your husband was obviously fed up of you moaning at him but not doing an... (read in full...)

How can I get over this embarrassment?

Q.   This boy I like knows I was spanked and now I can’t face seeing him ever again. Me and my brother got caught skipping class. Mom was so pissed she had us stay in our rooms all afternoon. When dad came home, my brother got to go down stairs but cus ...

A.   6 December 2017: The one who should be embarrassed here is your father for resorting to punishing you in this way. You would think an adult would have the intelligence to handle this situation without resorting to physical punishment (especially as you admit it ... (read in full...)

How do you get over the first person you were sexual with?

Q.   How do you get over the first person you were sexual with? I don't understand why I am so stuck on this. My first kiss was at 17, and he was also the first guy I ever touched or let touch me. However we did not have sex. I wasn't in a relationship ...

A.   6 December 2017: Ah, unrequited love. It never changes, it never grows old, it never dies. Possibly the hardest to get over because you can make up your own "happy ever after" endings with nothing to contradict them - as you are doing. You will NEVER forget t... (read in full...)

I refused to trade nudes for friendship. Now what?

Q.   A few months ago, a group of boys at my school saw me sitting alone, and asked if I wanted to join them. I never dared to approach them before, because I like one of them. They became my friend circle. I felt happy, hanging out with them, and b...

A.   5 December 2017: Wow! You are one ballsy lady! Well done for standing up to these bullies and not allowing them to intimidate you into doing what they wanted. I know at your age you want to have friends but you need to pick your friends carefully. These people a... (read in full...)

I'm into him and I would like to make a move! But we live together at uni, whatbif it went wrong?

Q.   Simply put, me and one of my uni flatmates are into each other. He's very shy, I know he has never even kissed anybody before, and I would like to make a move so badly. We flirt, we make excuses to spend time with each other, and he does things for ...

A.   5 December 2017: Do you know what is worse than it not working out? Spending the rest of your life wondering "what if?". You will only find out if the different backgrounds matter if you give it a try. And so what if it goes wrong? Perhaps you can still sh... (read in full...)

My ex isn't apologetic about his behavior and its starting to turn me off

Q.   I broke things off with him because he kept gaslighting me. Anytime I wanted to talk to him about something he’d call me a drama queen, sensitive, emotional. I got so drained trying to salvage things. The last straw was when he told me to shut up as ...

A.   5 December 2017: Sweetheart, you already know the answer to this one. Just a couple of your quotes: "it drained me again and it just reminded me why i left it" "the way he speaks to me sometimes is unacceptable to me and I’ve tried to reason with him but he ... (read in full...)

I broke it off. Was I right? How do I move on?

Q.   I was with her for 1 year. Everything was going great until 3-4 months in we started having problems. We both made mistakes and we’ve been on and off many times. We somehow managed to move past all of that and we fell in love. It’s then when we got ...

A.   4 December 2017: I think the thing to focus on here is that you did your best and, for you at least, it didn't work out. Whatever your ex's reasons for her behaviour (sounds like she may have some sort of issues but that would be for a professional to assess), the ... (read in full...)

Do I stay with boyfriend or leave and hope something will happen with this other man?

Q.   Hi everyone Looking for some advice. Im 32 years old and when I was 18 I met a lad (lets call him A) through a group of friends. I had just recently entered a relationship and A also had a girlfriend who he had been with a few years. There was...

A.   4 December 2017: Ah, unrequited love. It never grows old or fades because it was never real. In our imagination it can be forever perfect. If you HAD got together with A all those years ago, you would probably be having the same feelings are you are having a... (read in full...)

He wants me to trust him but he doesn't behave as someone that I can trust!

Q.   Hello. Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I've been seeing my current boyfriend off and on for about eight months now. During that time we have had several breakups. Once over him being too flirty with another girl as I stood by as a ...

A.   3 December 2017: Blimey, I am exhausted just reading all that! Sister, sit down and LISTEN to me. I want to ask you a very serious question. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON YOU BECOME WHEN YOU ARE WITH HIM? Do you enjoy being "psycho" and not trusting him? Do you... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's mother isn't accepting of my children and myself

Q.   i met my boyfriend 6yrs ago I have 2 children from previous relationship and left their father due to domestic violence. We are happy and since meeting my boyfriend we have so much in common and my children love him like a dad. We met his mum and ...

A.   3 December 2017: While I understand your desire for your children to have contact with your boyfriend's parents, and also how painful it must be for you to watch them being pushed aside, you can't force his mother to like them. In your shoes I would tell the chil... (read in full...)

Should I have an affair with a married man?

Q.   This is going to make me sound like a horrible person... Maybe I am. I've been infatuated with this man for months. I can tell he doesn't care about me emotionally because once I say no to a booty call, he says good bye. I'm not going to lie, I'...

A.   3 December 2017: I think you should ask his wife's opinion on this. See how SHE feels about him having a fling with you. This man is a user. Do you honestly think he will treat you any better than he treats his poor wife? Of course he won't. He is only interest... (read in full...)

I like a guy but he seems to prefer a slimmer girl, do I have a chance?

Q.   Been working at Starbucks for about a year now, it's right next to my uni business school. There's a guy who's been coming in for the last few months and is pretty lush hehe, blond, blue eyes, muscular and wears our uni rugby T shirt, he's rly tall ...

A.   29 November 2017: He's been coming in for the last few months and is still just flirty and friendly? He's not really interested in either of you as potential girlfriend material I would guess, or he already has a girlfriend (or even boyfriend)and is just being flirty ... (read in full...)

Should the other woman tell his wife about the affair?

Q.   Should the other woman tell his wife about the affair? I know many would use harsh and negative remarks on such question. I did no Contact and he reached out and I caved in. I am thinking of telling his wife so that I can move on for good forever...

A.   28 November 2017: Do you think ANYONE with an ounce of human decency is going to say "Yes, go on, tell the poor long-suffering wife. After all, it is HER fault that you chose to hook up with a married man." I mean, really? Why should the wife suffer pain just bec... (read in full...)

Dealing With Catty Customers At Work?

Q.   I work for a "posh" retail store which has a lot of female customers, I've been awarded employee of the month for customer service before and am always friendly to people, I've only been there since last year but already know a lot of people by name ...

A.   28 November 2017: Sweetheart, do you honestly think that silly woman remembered you (or what she had said) a few minutes after she had walked away? Her remark (within earshot of you) was all about HER lack of manners and not about YOUR customer service. You c... (read in full...)

I have these gut feelings she's cheating so how do I figure out what I do?

Q.   I'm a female in a relationship with another female. I have trust issues due to previous infidelities in past relationships. I know that it's unfair for me to question her when she's done nothing wrong, but, honest to god, I can't help it. I feel ...

A.   27 November 2017: Where to start? There is a huge difference between gut instinct and paranoia. Someone cheating on you in the past is NOT an excuse for giving your current girlfriend a hard time. This poor girl can't win. She has obviously told you her ex ... (read in full...)

Am I being paranoid about why he doesn't make eye contact during sex?

Q.   Eye contact during sex? My husband usually turns his head away from me or closes his eyes. I dont remember having a problem with it years ago... but recently he holds me close with my head buried in his neck and almost forcibly stops me from bei...

A.   27 November 2017: My first thought was that perhaps he has problems orgasming (or even holding his erection) if he doesn't fantasize. Most people need to have fantasies at some point in their lives to help them climax. You need to talk to him when you are not in b... (read in full...)

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