New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login236144 questions, 1036350 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap


United Kingdom  (Female   XML/RSS

Like what she writes?
... Add *oucannotbeserious to your favourite agony aunts

Want to get in touch?
... Send *oucannotbeserious a private message

*oucannotbeserious's Ratings

Rating: 7.72

1234567891011Next > [12 pages, 445 answers]

My son punched a guest, when guest videoed him and girlfriend having sex.

Q.   My son is 19 he has been dating his girlfriend since he was 16 and she was 15. We have a pretty open relationship with them. Over the weekend they went out to a party with their friends and at our house my husband and I threw a surprise party for ...

A.   23 January 2017: I want to adopt your son! What a wonderful young man. No, using his fists was possibly not justified but there was drink involved and there was very rude invasion of private space involved. It's not like he and his girlfriend were making out in p... (read in full...)

How can I tell him that I suffer anxiety without making it sound like an excuse for needy behaviour?

Q.   Hi everyone, I suffer from anxiety, and I've suffered it for a fair few years. I've had a boyfriend now for a few months. I haven't told him yet. So when I get anxious I tend to text him quite a bit and I've noticed that his texts are becoming l...

A.   22 January 2017: What do you mean by anxiety? Do you mean you worry when you are apart from your boyfriend and need reassurance? Is it a jealousy thing? I wouldn't make a big deal of this. If you have managed to conceal it from him for months, then it obviousl... (read in full...)

My wife left me for her ex, who found her on Facebook and now wants to come back. Should I give her a second chance ?

Q.   My wife was contacted by an ex on Facebook who first said he only wanted to be friends, then indicated he wanted more. She showed me his messages and told me they dated in high school and college and she broke up with him twice. The first time...

A.   22 January 2017: I need to correct you on one point. The ex boyfriend didn't start contacting YOUR EX WIFE when you were going through a rough patch; how would he have known? SHE contacted HIM. Get it the right way round. As soon as the going got a bit tough, she... (read in full...)

How can I get him back? Or has the damage been done?

Q.   My boyfriend broke up with me tonight and its my fault. I don't know how to fix this situation . I was with my boyfriend when 2 male friends who have a crush on me wrote me on Facebook. Ive known them since before my current relationship...

A.   22 January 2017: If it hadn't been this, it would have been something else petty and insignificant. He could easily have turned around and said "Heh, I'm not comfortable with these guys flirting with my girlfriend. Tell them to do one." Instead he completely over... (read in full...)

I need to let go of the past. Can someone give me some advice on how to do that?

Q.   Me and my significant other have been in a relationship for 5 months, however, I've been in love with her (the love was for the most part unrequited) for about 3 years. We've started to plan a future with each other. But recently, we dis...

A.   22 January 2017: You both need to be totally honest before she ups sticks and moves. YOU need to realize that most people come with a past and that their past is what has made them the people they are today. You need to work at letting go of the past, because ... (read in full...)

I met a nice man but don't connect or feel physically attracted. Do I end things or settle?

Q.   Hello need your help. I am a 53 year old single mother. I have been single for 17 years and started dating 7 years ago. Was busy going to school, taking care of ailing parents and raising my kids. Have had two serious 6 month relationships and one 3 ...

A.   22 January 2017: If you find it hard to find things to talk about, and if you feel no connection to this nice guy, then he is simply not for you. It is not fair on yourself or him to keep things going if you are sure they will lead nowhere. Keeping him ticking ... (read in full...)

My friend won't say if he is gay or bi should I ask if I can give him a bj?

Q.   I've never done it before but I would like to have sex with this guy I know, I think he is bi,but I can't be sure, I stop by his house every one in a while,I never known him to be with a woman since we have been friends five or six years,he spends a ...

A.   22 January 2017: I have a male friend who I have worked with for years. In all that time he has not had a girlfriend. He used to live with his parents until he bought his own house a few years ago. And guess what? He is NOT gay! He just hasn't met a woman he wants... (read in full...)

Christmas gift gone wrong

Q.   For Christmas this year, my BF got me a weekend at a winery with tour, tasting, and live music. We were so excited to get away for the weekend. I was almost in tears over such a thoughtful gift. It was our first Christmas together and the 1st ...

A.   22 January 2017: Do you know what happens when we make plans? Life. Life happens (or death in this case) and plans have to change. I can fully understand why you are upset because you were so looking forward to this "perfect gift". Cherish the thought that you... (read in full...)

My ldr partner wants to do fun time while apart but I feel extremely unconfident doing so since he watches so much porn

Q.   My partner is overseas and wants me to video chat him and call him for fun time . The problem is that that he watches loads of porn and I can't help but feel self conscious that I could never be as sexy or anywhere near as good at exciting him as ...

A.   22 January 2017: Honey, men will watch whatever porn is in front of them. Very few are bothered what the women look like (within reason). It is just a means to an end. It does not mean they fancy them or lust after that body type (unless they have very rigid ... (read in full...)

Am I a coward with a cold heart, for the way I choose to end relationships? How should I do it?

Q.   i,am a 50 year old female, been in a relationship for five months,he is really nice, romantic, but he isn't my type. I like big bald football type of guys, he is the cowboys type, good looking, he does all the things a woman wants in a man,so h...

A.   22 January 2017: Yes, it's cowardly to do that to people, especially nice people. This guy did nothing wrong to you. If he had treated you badly, I would have said you owe him nothing and ghosting him is absolutely fine to get him out of your life. However, t... (read in full...)

My husband's brother is behaving towards me in ways that make me feel uncomfortable. Is my brother in law trying to tell me something ? What should I do?

Q.   I need some advice regarding my husband's brother. We haven't always got on so well because I found him a bit intimidating. He's 12 years older than me and he used to behave a bit strange with me for example: He always accused me of flirting w...

A.   22 January 2017: I have to ask the question: when he makes physical contact with you (like having his knee touching yours or your arms bumping when you are walking), are you not able to move slightly to end this contact? He could see your failure to do this as ... (read in full...)

How should I handle this situation? I think something is going on between my mom and my husband

Q.   I think there’s something going on between my mom and my husband !! I know this sounds impossible but it seems true !! And I want to get to the bottom of it but don't know how !! My mom's visiting us and it has been here for the past 2 months !...

A.   21 January 2017: Neither your mother nor your husband are behaving well. Surely they must know you are uncomfortable with their inappropriate behaviour. It sounds like your mother has no boundaries - even with her own daughter's husband. Your husband, however,... (read in full...)

Is he not telling the truth in an effort to not hurt me? I'd rather he tell me the truth.

Q.   In 2013 my partner and me split up, he met someone else become engaged and ended up having a little girl with his new gf, which is completely understandable. I only found out due to my friend seeing them both out and about, with her other chil...

A.   21 January 2017: It is, of course, totally possible that the baby your friend saw him and his partner with was not actually theirs. They could have been looking after it for someone (close friend/family member?). There again, it could have been theirs. As this guy ... (read in full...)

She has decorated my bedroom space with love letters and trinkets and it's suffocating. What can I say and how should I approach this subject?

Q.   I am in quite a new relationship with my girlfriend (just over 6 months) and things have been going well. Although recently she has started to decorate my bedroom with photographs, love letters and little trinkets. It is sweet, do not get me wr...

A.   21 January 2017: Pick out one or two "special" pictures of the pair of you together - or even take some new ones - and frame them to go on your wall or somewhere else appropriate in your room so that she doesn't think you are trying to hide her. That way, when your ... (read in full...)

Fed up with him. Don't think I can trust him any more. How should I handle this situation?

Q.   hi everyone ive been with my fiancé for 3 years now just lately I don't feel happy anymore and now ill explain why. We met through facebook and after that he told me he doesn't use facebook anymore. I had him on my friends list he just never bother...

A.   20 January 2017: I know this is not the crux of your post, but it concerns me that you think a dog should get "in bother" because it toilets in the house. That is going back to the dark ages, when people beat dogs and rubbed their noses in what they had done when ... (read in full...)

At the start I lied to him, I've been mean to him and told him to leave. How can I get him to like me?

Q.   There is this guy l am attracted to. He is 18. He is homophobic and hates discussing gay stuff. I am bi. I really wanted to give him head, but he was adamant. I lied l had a stomach problem that only semen could cure. I was foolish to. He resisted...

A.   20 January 2017: Although he is sending out mixed messages on occasion, he has told you and told you again that he will never be your boyfriend. You need to listen to him. If he has any sexual feelings towards you, he is ashamed of them and will never openly a... (read in full...)

Is this friendship a lost cause?

Q.   Ok, so the deal is I have a friend who is possibly a flip flopper. She has been diagnosed with depression which may hide everything in plain sight. She has moved to London over a year ago which she admitted it sucked for her because she had to ...

A.   20 January 2017: How much do you actually rely on this girl for friendship? If it is to any great extent, then I think you need to distance yourself a little and just (if you wish) be friends on her terms (i.e. occasionally, when she is able). If she has true dep... (read in full...)

I love my partner but we've been having sexual issues and I'm starting to develop feelings for a colleague

Q.   Hi all, I am having a bit of a problem at the moment. I have been with my partner for just over 5 years and we have been extremely happy. We are best friends and have been since the start. Very recently I have started developing feelings for ...

A.   20 January 2017: DO NOT - repeat NOT - tell your partner! You are just looking to offload your guilt onto him but you will hurt him by doing this. You have done nothing wrong. Being in a relationship does not stop us feeling attraction towards others. However,... (read in full...)

I'm starting to miss him. Was leaving the best option? How do I heal from being a victim in an emotionally abusive relationship?

Q.   Hello, After Christmas (2016) I left my partner, as I came to realise I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. It was slowly wearing me down and I started to get ill; for the first time in nearly 20 years, my eczema came back and spread all...

A.   20 January 2017: First of all, well done for walking away from this relationship. You know it - and he - were not right for you. Don't be tempted to go back, or to try to warn other women. They will find out for themselves what he is really like and it will be their ... (read in full...)

Was he wrong for hitting me or am I being dramatic?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together 8months, I was pulling a silly face he didn't like and to stop me doing it he slapped my face, not hard by enough to shock me a little. He knows how I feel about face slapping (from previous bedroom antics) ...

A.   20 January 2017: A joke is funny. I see nothing funny about this. Although the slap may not have been hard, it was a way of controlling you - just like the anger when you did not react like he wanted you to after his apology. This is only a new relationship... (read in full...)

Is there any way I can change his perceptions about me? How should or could I attract him back to me?

Q.   Its been 50 days. My boyfriend broke up with me.. It was all my fault. Its been 2 years. For 1 year we were together when i was working ..but from last 1 year we are in long distance. I live with my parents and i am jobless. My career is ...

A.   19 January 2017: Well done for joining the gym. Now you need to go regularly and get onto a healthy eating plan. This will not only improve your physical health, but also your mental health and, ultimately, your self esteem. Get someone to look over your CV and... (read in full...)

How can I get my current Gf to trust me? I've not cheated on her. But I did cheat on my ex.

Q.   I cheated on my first love two years ago with my current girlfriend. I broke up with my first love to set her free from my cheating ways. I still love her and check her social media accounts to see how she's doing but I never told her I cheated wh...

A.   19 January 2017: Cast your mind forward - 5 years, 10 years - and ask yourself, "do I still want to be held hostage in this relationship?" Here are the facts, as I see them: You behaved badly by cheating. Fact. Your current girlfriend doesn't trust you an ... (read in full...)

Family issues. What should I do? Apologise and stick to my plans? Or cancel my holiday?

Q.   I have, it seems, caused an enormous family rift. I booked a holiday for 2 weeks at the start of February - it had been booked a while but I told family over Christmas what my plans were. This is the first holiday I have had in 7 years so it means...

A.   18 January 2017: I guess 75th birthdays are "special" because, at that age, you don't know if you are going to enjoy many more birthdays. HOWEVER, your parents have no right to make you feel guilty when they did not tell you beforehand of their plans. In your... (read in full...)

She has no problems trying to crush my ego. NOW she says I'm bad in bed. How should I respond to her insults about lovemaking?

Q.   My girlfriend completely criticized my sex. Said I suck in bed when she's been wanting me for 3 years saying that no one knows her body like me and she never felt this good before and blah blah blah. But as soon as she gets mad at me that complet...

A.   18 January 2017: My suspicion is that you were all "into" her when she was into the threesomes and other kinky things. However, she got to a stage where she wanted it to be just the two of you. In other words, she developed real feelings for you. When women do this, ... (read in full...)

Help me! We aren't quite ready for a baby and I'm struggling with my feelings about hearing baby news from others! Help?

Q.   Hi all! First of all I'd like to say that myself and my boyfriend of 5 years are not quite ready (space and financially wise) for a baby. I would absolutely love one and completely broody which is maybe the reason for my feelings I'm not sure. ...

A.   18 January 2017: I disagree with you completely. You actually sound VERY mature for waiting until the time is right. So many people rush into parenthood, only to find it is not the bed of roses they expected. Parenthood is hard work - physically, emotionally and ... (read in full...)

Any opinions as to whether she is into me?

Q.   There is a young girl who I come across frequently as she works near me and I am of the understanding she is straight. I think she has a boyfriend but I am gay with a girlfriend. I am just curious as to whether she is into me or not. She remembe...

A.   18 January 2017: Why do you wonder? Are you not happy with your girlfriend? It's hard to tell what is going on with this young girl. Yes, she could be attracted to you but that is really irrelevant, because you are both in relationships. Just because someone ... (read in full...)

Logically I know it doesn't matter, but I am struggling with my Girlfriend's past!

Q.   I know a lot of you are going to say this is just another guy with hang-ups and insecurities suffering from hypocritical retrospective jealousy – and to a certain extent you may be right – but I really am desperate to fix this (fix myself?), so ...

A.   17 January 2017: You KNOW this is not fair on your girlfriend. All this stuff you worry about happened years before you met. She was a different person then and, to be blunt, her past is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Being the lovely person she is today - which is in no ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend doesn't post us on social media

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been official for about 90 days. I have very few complaints about him- I'm extremely happy. We go out regularly and spend lots of quality time together and go on fun dates. But he has nothing about us posted on social media. ...

A.   17 January 2017: So he is not into social media. I like him already. He is not a sheep. He has not kept you secret from anyone. He is simply not into posting his life for all to see. And thank goodness there are still some people like him left. Sweetheart, i... (read in full...)

He says my body is his.

Q.   My partner of 3 yrs and i have a beautiful little girl who is 1. Lately my partner has been trying touching me and trying to penetrate me whilst we are playing with our daughter which i have put a stop to. He has started sayimg he can touch me ...

A.   17 January 2017: Next time he says/does that, kick him in his bollocks and tell him THEY are YOURS! What a tw*t. Underneath all this, I suspect what is going on is that he feels he is competing for your attention and this is the only (totally inapprop... (read in full...)

I still feel embarrassed 8 months later.

Q.   I expressed interest in guy that I was interested in 8 months ago but he turned me down. I felt disappointed but brushed it off and acted like it was no big deal. However, the long term effect was embarrassment. I thought he was interested in me...

A.   17 January 2017: Better to have tried than to wonder forever "what if". Sweetheart, stop beating yourself up. You are not the first to mis-read someone's intentions, and you certainly won't be the last. I am sure HE has forgotten about it by now - and possibly... (read in full...)

If I am talking online to a guy, just talking as friends, with nothing sexual said, BUT is it cheating for me to do this?

Q.   Sometimes I talk to someone on Skype (just text never camera or voice), I came across them on Tumblr and we became friends. He is a guy and we mostly talk about random things, never anything sexual. He knows I have a boyfriend and to be honest h...

A.   16 January 2017: Not sure whether the problem here is that you chat to this guy or that your boyfriend is so possessive that he would dump you because you chat to another male . . . Why would your boyfriend dump you for having a male friend? Why do you keep it ... (read in full...)

My mother's judgmental, cruel and poisons my relationships!

Q.   So this is about my mother and her opinion about my relationships. I am a 30 year old guy and I've had a few long and short time rekationships where I introduced my gfs to my mother. Most of the time they got along well - when we visited, my mom ...

A.   16 January 2017: Your strength lies in how you react to your mother as, obviously, you cannot control how SHE acts. My mother used to be a little bit like this (not in the same league as yours admittedly, but always having a pop about something). I found the best... (read in full...)

Do I stay with this guy or do I leave?

Q.   Hi. I am needing advice. When I was 18/19 I got engaged to my ex, we were together almost three years. I was 21 when we split. I met my current partner within three months of my ex and I splitting up (my ex cheated and got engaged to s...

A.   16 January 2017: You two are probably good people in your own rights, you just don't sound right for each other as you want completely different things. You are clear about what you want: you want to travel NOW, then immediately afterwards settle down and have a ... (read in full...)

Why do I have to hunt down my vacationing boyfriend by text before he answers?

Q.   I need your help. I need to know whether I should end a 3.5 year relationship. My boyfriend is traveling outside the country with family. He has been in touch by text because it's expensive to send texts and make phone calls. So his texts...

A.   16 January 2017: I agree. Clearly he does not care about you enough to want to be reporting in with you when he is busy travelling. Clearly he does not care about you enough to want to answer you when there is perhaps a large time difference between where you are ... (read in full...)

He ignores me. Feel like I'm walking on egg shells. Is there any hope for this troubled relationship? What should I do?

Q.   What should I do about this relationship?. I will just tell you what happened recently. I have been with my boyfriend just over a year. There have been a lot of times where we have argued. He has a very short fuse. I feel like I am walking on eg...

A.   16 January 2017: What exactly do you get out of this relationship? You seem to drive each other to destructive behaviour patterns - you with your accusations of infidelity (for which you have no basis, unless you haven't mentioned something) and him with his short ... (read in full...)

He is still under her thumb. What can I do?

Q.   Hello, I am slightly put off and rather upset at the moment. I live in a small town with my boyfriend of almost six years, and he... Well he is always dragging me over to his ex's place, making me spend the night, doing all her "to do" lists, and ...

A.   15 January 2017: I am torn on this one. One the one hand I can completely understand why you are upset. On the other hand, he takes you WITH him so you know he is not up to anything with his ex. (It was YOUR choice to go to bed and leave them alone together. I would ... (read in full...)

I asked before and followed advise but nothing works

Q.   I have written here before asking for advice and I tried to take th advice but I'm still feeling the urge and fighting so hard to be happy - I can't seem to get over my ex- it's been close to a year - it was a short relationship and he wasn't let's ...

A.   15 January 2017: Well done for trying so hard. I am sure if you compare how you feel now to how you felt immediately after all this happened, you will realise how far you have actually come. Everyone gets over things at different rates, and over different people at ... (read in full...)

Am I reading this situation right, or am I over reacting?

Q.   Please help me understand if I'm overreacting. Here is some backgrounds, I'm 40, divorced, have a kid and started dating online.I don't like to date few people at once so I focused on the first guy that I started talking to. He is 42 single, highly ...

A.   15 January 2017: This made me laugh a bit - but not at what you wrote. It just reminded me of a friend who has recently started a relationship with someone after living with her ex for about 15 years. The first couple of dates they planned had to be cancelle... (read in full...)

I think I am pregnant and the dad has disappeared.

Q.   Well. I met a guy months ago. We went out 3 times. At the 2nd one we had sex. I was the one who brought the sexual topic to the conversation. After sex we had sex once more. And the condom didn't work. I think I'm probably pregnant. He started ...

A.   15 January 2017: How long are you proposing leaving it until you find out for sure whether you are pregnant? Just because contraception failed (not even clear what happened, but let's just assume that is the case), it does not automatically mean you got pregnant. ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend came back different from vacation

Q.   My boyfriend went home for two weeks and came back different. We texted over the phone while he was gone and he seemed fine. However, when I picked him up from the airport he did not seem impressed to see me. He acted somewhat aloof. Since then, ...

A.   15 January 2017: As I see it, you have reached a crossroads in your relationship and you have two choices: go with him or let him go. Only you can decide which it is to be. Perhaps you could agree to go backpacking for a shorter time than him (if you have res... (read in full...)

*oucannotbeserious's friends

These are mutual friends, so *oucannotbeserious has added them and they have added *oucannotbeserious!

Eagle'sfan1986 agony auntEagle'sfan1986
mystiquek agony auntmystiquek
SearchingSoul agony auntSearchingSoul

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft