A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am job hunting. I recently got call from one of the jobs I was interested. In the middle of the interview, the interviewer did not offer me the job due to my school schedule clashing with the days he had available. Instead he asked me out on a date. Is this even appropriate? I said no. I was bummed about it, I'm looking for a job not a date. How should this situation be handled? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (30 January 2018):
 Honestly I would be flattered and move on, what more is there to handle? He told you the job didn't suit you with your school schedule then afterwards asked you out yes? Now I would understand if he was trying to blackmail you with a job but he obviously found you attractive and chanced his arm, I hardly think this makes him a sexual predator.
A
female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (27 January 2018):
 The interviewer was unprofessional and out of line. He is trying to abuse his position of "power". Report him to his supervisor.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (26 January 2018):
 This man’s employers have the right and the duty to know what he’s doing during company business. I guarantee that asking potential employees out on dates isn’t in his job description and would be a reason to terminate employment. Tell his supervisor and walk away.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2018): This is kind of a strange question that you have posted. Did this guy touch you or sexually intimidate you in any way? You talk of a “situation” that somehow might need handing but the only thing you have told us is that he asked you a question. I think you’ll need to give us more info if you want to get some proper advise.
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A
male
reader, Phil052  +, writes (26 January 2018):
 Totally unprofessional behaviour in my view, and I would be surprised if this is the first time he has done this. It is likely to continue until someone reports him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2018): Well, you didn't get the job. You said no to a date. Move on and keep looking for a job.
You can tell his manager or make a complaint. It still won't get you the job. You'd be too much of a liability to have around. He might get fired, which he'd deserve. Would that do you any good?
If that's the type of people they have doing their hiring; you probably wouldn't want to work there.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (25 January 2018):
 My advice: feel flattered and move on.
You chose to refuse him, as was your right, and (I assume) he took it politely and left it there.
He's obviously a bit of an opportunist but, as long as he didn't put pressure on you and doesn't pursue it, then there is no harm done. Right?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2018): It’s absolutely amazing that you found the one HR predator in all of the US who hasn’t heard that making passes at women while on the job is a big “no-no”! His company definitely needs to know about it! And I would take the stance that you might talk to a reporter or blog about your experience! If this guy has done it to you, he’s done it to others. #TimesUp on staying silent about these predatory creeps!!!
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A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (25 January 2018):
 Yeah, I don't see a 'situation' to 'handle' here either.
No, it was not appropriate, per se, but then I've known people who have been married for years and guess how that started out? One was a client who asked his bank teller out on a date, or they were colleagues, or they met after a minor fender bender. All of which, by the standards of the screeching classes today would be considered sexual harassment, abuse or bullying.
For Pete's sake...you're not a victim. Get over it.
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A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (25 January 2018):
"Appropriate" is a word that's been used a lot lately...mostly in regard to unwanted touches and worse. I don't think the word means what it did just a year ago.
Given that you aren't available for the schedule required, it sounds as if you wouldn't have gotten the job anyway. It wasn't a show of class on the interviewer's part but I don't think this would fit the current definition of "inappropriate."
I wouldn't see a civil rights lawyer over this. You don't have much of a case although lawyers are happy to charge you just to tell you this. File this one under "Life's Lessons" and move on.
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A
female
reader, jls022 +, writes (25 January 2018):
I’d definitely consider reporting this to the company. Who’s to say he deliberately didn’t offer you the job so that he could ask you out on a date without breaching company rules? Either way, his behaviour was 100% inappropriate and I’d want to try to stop him from putting any other young women in that position in future.
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A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (25 January 2018):
 I would actually run this by a civil right lawyer to see if you have an actionable situation. This guy abuses his power and I bet you are not a first woman who was his victim.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (25 January 2018):
 Not appropriate.
I would take a mental note of that place and NEVER apply there any more.
Honestly, this really rubs me the wrong way. This is by far a sleazy approach.
Though, I would be FAR more inclined to take it to the company's HE (or equivalent) if he had offered the job AND asked for a date. Or offered you the job IF you went on a date.
Keep looking for a job elsewhere.
The more I think about this, the more I would want to tell the company that it's really UNPROFESSIONAL for someone to do this.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (25 January 2018):
 Just ignore it. It wasn't appropriate but it was only a stupid error of judgement.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2018): I don't think it's usual, no, I don't know what the code of conduct says, but on the other hand I certainly would not say that it was harassment.
He had already made it clear that you wouldn't get a job, so he wasn't blackmailing you.
As far as I understood he wasn't abusive.
He asked, you said no, he didn't insist or make you otherwise uncomfortable (tahn you already had been). End of story. Maybe you could have mentioned that, as you said, you were looking for a job not a date.
However, if you do feel that you absolutely must do something and that, more importantly he was abusive to you I would contact the HR.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2018): This is not appropriate. You should contact this persons manager and let them know how he approached you and asked you out. His job is to interview people for a job, not use his position as a hunting ground to get a date. He could possibly be using his position as a way to put pressure on women, sort of like saying "If you go out with me I might offer you a job". This is not appropriate or acceptable behavior, and he might even get fired for doing this. Tell his manager/superior.
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A
male
reader, GRIFF TANNEN +, writes (25 January 2018):
 You said no and he was disappointed and that was that.
How is this even a "situation"?
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