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*ear Mandy

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Feelings that I don't know how to address

Q.   Hi all thanks for taken a moment to read this. I just need some help with a situation I have found myself in. I have a boyfriend we have been together 3 years, we are okay together sometimes. I feel somewhat unloved and not cared for as I should b...

A.   1 November 2021: Hi Many people go through these stale stages in relationships. If you feel like your not getting out of the relationship what you deserve there’s two options. 1) talk to your partner, explaining how you feel, and also ask him how he feels too, and... (read in full...)

Why did my ex send me a photo of him and his new girl?

Q.   So my ex boyfriend and I haven't talked since we broke up. He has nerve to send me a picture of him and his new girl. I'm not going to lie, it did break me. I was getting over him and I'm happy for him but why would he do that? ... I need help:-(...

A.   1 November 2021: Hi Sorry you had to see that , how childish and cruel. But are you positive he sent it ? Is it possible his new girlfriend sent it from his phone ? . Could it be his not entirely over you and she feels threatened? I would reply with a simple mes... (read in full...)

47 year old man never been kissed, Help!

Q.   Hello. I am sure you will not believe my story, but I am telling the truth. I am a large 47 year man who has sadly for me never experienced what it is to have a girlfriend or to fall in love or even just walk with a woman holding their hand. I have ...

A.   20 October 2021: Hi I think to start off with maybe join a gym, get more confidence in yourself. Also a gym is a great place to meet people! Maybe someone who feels just as you do . Age is but a number, I personally would rather find a man who will truly love and... (read in full...)

Please help me stop uttering other people’s name during sex

Q.   I am currently dating this guy who is amazing inside and out and he satisfied me much in bed as well. But the problem is I sometimes mentioned other man’s name during sex. And yet i have not slept with those guys i have mentioned or any guys that ...

A.   20 October 2021: Hi Oh dear ! A very awkward situation to be in. Rest assured so many people have done this ( many have lost their partners because of it ) You need to be honest with your boyfriend and explain you have no idea why you are saying other men’s ... (read in full...)

I'm obsessed with someone who doesn't know I exist! Please help!

Q.   I am obsessed w/this guy who I am 99.9% sure doesn't even know I exist. He is about a 2 years or so older than me and we currently do not go to the same college but we will next year. This obsession all started when I came across his instagram page, ...

A.   20 October 2021: Hi Firstly you really need to be open and honest with your councillor, they can’t help you correctly if they don’t know what your going through. You have an unhealthy obsession with this boy which you are already aware of. All the will do is make ... (read in full...)

I'm obsessed with someone who doesn't know I exist! Please help!

Q.   I am obsessed w/this guy who I am 99.9% sure doesn't even know I exist. He is about a 2 years or so older than me and we currently do not go to the same college but we will next year. This obsession all started when I came across his instagram page, ...

A.   20 October 2021: Hi Firstly you really need to be open and honest with your councillor, they can’t help you correctly if they don’t know what your going through. You have an unhealthy obsession with this boy which you are already aware of. All the will do is make ... (read in full...)

Why have I suddenly become desperate for hugs?

Q.   I have suddenly become desperate for hugs these past few weeks, when all my life I have hated hugging and avoided hugging people as much as I could. Even with family members. There’s not one person I can think of who I have enjoyed hugging in the ...

A.   20 October 2021: Hi I think these past two years with all the lockdown, and deaths from covid has changed a lot of people. I’ve noticed many people reaching out to others. It’s a good thing not weird. We all change as we grow , by the sounds of it you’ve grown in... (read in full...)

Why have I suddenly become desperate for hugs?

Q.   I have suddenly become desperate for hugs these past few weeks, when all my life I have hated hugging and avoided hugging people as much as I could. Even with family members. There’s not one person I can think of who I have enjoyed hugging in the ...

A.   20 October 2021: Hi I think these past two years with all the lockdown, and deaths from covid has changed a lot of people. I’ve noticed many people reaching out to others. It’s a good thing not weird. We all change as we grow , by the sounds of it you’ve grown in... (read in full...)

I think this 15 yo boy will probably want sex!

Q.   i am a 13 year old . this guy is very cute and i like him a lot . and he asked me if i wanted to have sex with him and i told him “ rpprobably not maybe i’ll succ you tho “ and yeah he is 15 and is not a virgin and i’m 13 and i am . ughhh idk what ...

A.   21 August 2018: If you think that then you should avoid him darling. And please don’t lower your standards to want to give him oral sex. Any decent boy wouldn’t even let you try doing that. You have such a wonderful life ahead of you, don’t spoil it now by trying ... (read in full...)

He seems to only like me when he's drunk! Is he worth it or should I let him go?

Q.   Hey hey, The guy that I have been seeing for 7 months only lets himself go when he's drinking. When he's sober, he doesn't speak to me as often. And it's almost like he only likes me when he's drunk. He said from the beginning that he's not a bi...

A.   21 August 2018: Listen, and listen carefully ok..... if his showing romance , love , and affection after a drink, it means he feels nervous around you without it. And is he actually drunk or tipsy? Some people lack courage in a new relationship. Try backing off for ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend won't fully commit and now ex is around. Should I be worried?

Q.   I am very torn right now as to whether to break up with my boyfriend of a year and a half. Almost all of my friends now are very vocal that I should. He is selfish at times, has drank too much and most recently said he can see a future with me ...

A.   13 May 2014: HI maybe you should take a break away from him.I feel he is not ready for commitment,and the more pushy you get you will only push him away. sometimes we fall so deeply inlove with someone thats all we breath. get out and about and do your own... (read in full...)

Indecisive and secretive on-off boyfriend issues

Q.   I met this guy at uni and we've basically been dating on and off. We're currently not dating but we got really close and speak non-stop. However, we argued a lot and I even cut him off for a good month as when we do argue he's REALLY mean and ...

A.   13 May 2014: HI it sounds like hes some more growing up to do . I also feel his taking the p..... show him you mean it when you ask him about this otherwoman, and tell him that in the future all you see is a real man knowing he has a beautiful woman to love ... (read in full...)

Hypocrites who justify cheating.....what's going through their minds?

Q.   Help me out here. How can a woman accuse her husband of cheating and then justify her own affair as a form of retaliation, or as a means to quench her insatiable thirst for attention? She gets all bent out of shape when she suspects that her husband ...

A.   12 November 2013: HI Once a cheat always a cheat, I wouldn't even bother to justify the actions. Many people use ( it was your fault I cheated ) quote. or the ( well you accused me of cheating so much I thought I might as well )these kind of people deserve ... (read in full...)

Girlfriend wants to take a male friend out for dinner - am I wrong to disapprove?

Q.   My girlfriend has recently got a new job (through one of her male friends) and now she has said to me that she thinks she will take him out for dinner to say "thank you." I've never met this guy and am not at all happy about this, even the t...

A.   7 October 2013: HI I think you have a point here. If there is nothing other than plutonic friendship here why not invite you along to meet the so called best friend? who helped her get her job! you have a reason to feel this way. However I would let her go on th... (read in full...)

I've become the maid and babysitter in my house because of the way my wife now acts. What can I do?

Q.   i am 35 and my wife is 30 we have been married a year but together almost 6 years. we have sex maybe 1-2 times ever other month. before that about 1 year ago it was 1-3 times amonth, we have a son together and her 8 yr old daughter whom believes im ...

A.   7 October 2013: HI Firstly your wife is a control freak! you sound like a nice guy and she knows this so is taking the piss out of you ( sorry for cussing) but its true. You have become a doormat is this what you want in life? how did you see your life bec... (read in full...)

I don't understand why the first time in 4 years he has not wanted to have sex.

Q.   Well I am almost 7 months pregnant and have a 2 year old with my partners of 4 years. I have noticed a change in my partner the last 3-4 week's. His sex drive has been non-existent. He dose work and his hours have changed he starts and hour earlier ...

A.   7 October 2013: HI Firstly you have a child and your also pregnant, that is enough for some men to back off . 1 tired and sleepless nights. 2 parenthood can be a strain for many people so the last thing on their mind is sex. and 3 his work has changed,... (read in full...)

Am I crazy is he cheating and taking me for a fool?

Q.   Hi Guys and Girls A question about strange behaviour from my partner of 4 years. We live together and have done for 3 years. However I am always suspicious of him and keep checking his texts and Facebook messages. I like to go to bed early...

A.   26 September 2013: hi it sounds to me that he is scared to come out of the closet, so is using you so people wont click on his gay! he probably does love you , but more like a sister than a gf. I would walk away from this one, its only going to be a ugly end... (read in full...)

Really want to do oral but can't

Q.   Hi aunts and uncles! Thank you in advance for all the help. I'm 19 years old and i'm in a very serious relationship with a guy 6 years my senior. We've been together for just over a year now. My problem is i'm afraid of letting him go own on me ...

A.   26 September 2013: llfton has it spot on!!! I second that. You need to just go for it, the more you stress yourself out ( on something he would love to do for YOU) the less likely you will ever move forward. if your that concerned about how you look down there why ... (read in full...)

Saw him twice in three months so I broke it off -- and he doesn't understand why?

Q.   Hi, it's been 3 months now and I only met my bf twice. I understood that he has just been promoted from his job and needs a lot of travel. But then during his free time, he wouldn't at least meet me for an hour or two regardless of the fact that his ...

A.   26 September 2013: HI Honestly? the guy is a complete player and a jerk. Don't reply or text him again you deserve much much better. You WILL find the right man for you, just hold back a bit and don't rush into a guys arms or become his text or sext buddy to... (read in full...)

Is there anything I can do to save this relationship? Or is it completely over and I have no chance in hell of being with her?

Q.   I have recently broke up with my girlfriend. It happened yesterday to be exact. We've been together for a couple of months and I'm really in love with her. She told me that she loved me too and that she was in love with me but yesterday she sa...

A.   10 September 2013: HI Give her some time to think. She maybe regretting ending things herself , work can stress people out in different ways, so she is probably still adapting to the change . You can't make someone want or love you BUT you can try to capture ... (read in full...)

Am I just feeling this need to see him because now he's not mine anymore

Q.   I'm in a tricky situation right, and I would really appreciate it if you guys could help! I'm 18 years old and during spring this year, I started dating my best friend. We're in the same class, and by april we were a couple. He had liked me sin...

A.   9 September 2013: HI Yes it is natural to feel alone and miss the partner you split from. It will get better with time. I feel from what you have written shows you already know your answer to be honest, so what are you afraid of here the most? being alone or... (read in full...)

Is this a form of verbal abuse or am I being overeactive?

Q.   So, I was discussing with my boyfriend how a woman got rescued from being kidnapped. I then proceeded to make a comment that one always needs to be aware of ones surroundings. My boyfriend turned to me and said "No one would kidnap you." I ...

A.   6 September 2013: HI Im sorry but your being thin skinned here, he was making a silly joke, yes it was of poor taste if he knows your not one for taking a joke, but definitely not abuse. I think you need to lighten up a little. He told you he was only joking s... (read in full...)

Am I just feeling this need to see him because now he's not mine anymore

Q.   I'm in a tricky situation right, and I would really appreciate it if you guys could help! I'm 18 years old and during spring this year, I started dating my best friend. We're in the same class, and by april we were a couple. He had liked me sin...

A.   5 September 2013: HI If your feeling like you can't even be bothered to text or even talk to him at times then you did the right thing by ending it. Your not in love with him BUT you love him. Stay friends and who knows one day you may be right for each other. ... (read in full...)

After 10 years of marriage my husband has no interest in sex. Is this normal?

Q.   Just asking. Is it really happening,when the husband and wife is living together for nearly 10 years the sex life is gone? i mean, my husband and me are nearly 10 years now. i dont know but its already 8 months now that he dont even think about ...

A.   30 August 2013: HI Every marriage hits a stale patch. It is perfectly normal and 9 times out of 10 it will pass. However men can also go through a menopause, so he may be feeling a little down or depressed. He assured you there is no one else and that he ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend has body-image issues

Q.   me and my girlfriend have been going out for almost 3 months now and everything is great i couldn't be happier. now two things id like advice on number one when im not with her for a few days which has been regular as I go to my mums w...

A.   30 August 2013: HI All you can do about her body issues right now is continue to compliment her, let her know how sexy YOU think she looks, and that it don't matter what anyone else thinks as she is perfect for you. In regards to the photo sharing I wouldn't... (read in full...)

Afraid to tell my boyfriend I love him

Q.   So I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and we've never said I love you to each other in person. We've only said it over text that's it. I really want to tell him on the phone tonight and I hope I can do it. I know he'll say it back, and I ...

A.   27 June 2013: HI If and when the time is right to SAY I love you it should be face to face!....it's so easy to say them 3 words via text or over a phone, but face to face is more intimate and you will see each others faces and reaction to them words. Don't... (read in full...)

This feels like a part-time relationship, help!

Q.   Okay, haven't been on here in a while, but I need help. It's the same guy- he has a drinking problem and in the past had a drug issue that we've finally hurdled over two years ago (been together going on four). Basically, we break up ALL THE TIME. ...

A.   27 June 2013: HI The simple truth is he don't care one way or another what you do......Harsh but true. Your showing him your weak and NEED him. It's time to stand on your own two feet , walk away for good , and do something with your life. You relation... (read in full...)

Why did my ex send me a photo of him and his new girl?

Q.   So my ex boyfriend and I haven't talked since we broke up. He has nerve to send me a picture of him and his new girl. I'm not going to lie, it did break me. I was getting over him and I'm happy for him but why would he do that? ... I need help:-(...

A.   27 June 2013: HI The classic " I'll make her miss me and beg for me back" What a hurtful thing to do. Does this not give you a better insight as to what his like as a person? you are better than that. I wouldn't respond at all, he deserves nothing from... (read in full...)

Is he having trouble with sex because of my body? Or something else?

Q.   So, my fiance and I have been together for almost three years, and most everything has been great. The one thing that really concerns me happens during sex. He has a very difficult time getting and remaining erect, as well as reaching orgasm, ...

A.   27 June 2013: HI It could be a few things. The weight is sometimes a problem for men especially if they prefer smaller women, were you smaller when you met each other? it's great your doing something about it, however if he loves you ( which he does) h... (read in full...)

was wondering when is the right time in a relationship to talk about the "serious future things"?

Q.   OK, I was wondering when is the right time in a relationship to talk about the "serious future things" I mean like: "Move In, Marrying, have kids, etc" ... Like I don't want to freak him out or anything. Soon it's going to be 9 month of being ...

A.   21 June 2013: HI I would not bring this up to him now. You have a whole life ahead of you and there is no rush. 9 Months is barely any time at all, you still have so much to learn about each other. You are right your still to young for this, and believe ... (read in full...)

How long does it take for your friend to come back to you after ditching everyone for their girlfiend? Does it ever calm down?

Q.   Will I ever get my best mate back!!?? Hes been going out with someone, his first serious relationship since his actual first one was long distance and didn't last very long and hes never had much luck with girls. When this first started we all u...

A.   21 June 2013: HI Tricky one! Well you can't say she's not his type as people change, he obviously finds something right about her. However it sounds more like obsession than love. Your his long time friend and you should feel comfortable in telling him h... (read in full...)

I feel like I threw away a good thing and now don't know how to contact her, after 8 months. Help?

Q.   a while back i dated a girl who had been a friend for a good six months before we got together. we only dated about four months. the relationship was rocky (she had just broken up with her ex) and both of us were extremely insecure. we jumped into ...

A.   21 June 2013: HI Unfortunately if she wanted to make contact she would have by now. I would let it be a lesson learned and move forward from this. If you feel you can't and need to make one last attempt then maybe write her a letter ( much better than a t... (read in full...)

I've been seeing a man who was a friend before we began dating and I'm devastated that he just ended it after 7 weeks of dating!

Q.   Hi people. Just need some straight forward advice,ill give you some background,I am a single mother out of a messy relationship about 2 years ago. Ive come to the time now,where I feel I can move on. Ive been seeing a man who was my friend before we ...

A.   21 June 2013: HI Firstly I'm so sorry he had ended it in this way, I can sympathise with you with this situation. I don't think it would be wise to confess all your feelings to him now as he has made it clear he no longer wants that kind of intimacy with... (read in full...)

Ex partner apologises after 2 years apart!!!

Q.   I split with my partner 2 years ago. I had 1 young child with her and she had a child from a previous relationship. We had been together for about 12 years! We have stayed in touch due to me seeing my son weekly, of course, and she has often ha...

A.   20 June 2013: HI I think women take longer when it comes to apologising in a situation when they know they have hurt their partners feelings, especially when it ended badly. I feel she is just trying to clear her conscience and make amends. I wouldn't... (read in full...)

I don't think I can handle seeing her with her boyfriend!

Q.   Hi, bit of a long question here. So about 2 years ago I told this girl whom I had been friends with for about 2 years (at that time) that I had feelings for her but she told me that she didnt like me in that way and just saw us as friends which took ...

A.   20 June 2013: HI I understand how you feel, but if you have invited him along too one of two things will happen 1) She don't bring him she was just testing that you ARE over her in that way. 2) she brings him along, and the pair of them are all lovey do... (read in full...)

I feel like my ex is my soul mate -- but I've since gotten married

Q.   When I was seventeen, I met a guy and fell very deeply in love with him. Everything about him was ideal and we were together for three years. We broke up because he got a job in another continent and I was going to university and it didn't make ...

A.   15 June 2013: HI The reason your feeling this way is because you both ended it amicably, I doubt he had to take time off work that to me in its self sounds like alarms bells for distrust straight away. You have what sounds like a GREAT husband, don... (read in full...)

My brother's girlfriend is out to get me!

Q.   Dear cupid, iv got a huge problem with my brothers new girlfriend and i dont no what to do. the bottom line is that she hates me all because of a misunderstanding that she wont forgive me f or. My brother is 21 and she is 39, and has 3 kids, one who ...

A.   15 June 2013: HI You have nothing to fix . This woman sounds like a devious woman, and if she is your brothers first real girlfriend he is going to probably be obsessed with her rather than in love. The best thing you can do is rise above it and let your... (read in full...)

I feel like I've been put on the back burner completely!

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months. I know it's still somewhat in the early stages but far enough in that we should know way more about each other than we do. He got a new job back in January with really demanding hours and I know he ...

A.   6 June 2013: HI sounds like his seeing someone else and keeping you on the side just in case it don't work, he has you to be the fall back girl. you have given him plenty of time and space to answer a simple question. tell him to get lost and play his mind gam... (read in full...)

I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get her back but I don't know where to start! Help?

Q.   okay , it is been along time now but i'm back ...and i have a question ..i really need help with it because i have no idea what to do . if you hurt your friend how many time do you say i'm sorry and what do you do when she just doesn't want to ...

A.   30 May 2013: I still don't see how we can give you the proper advice you need to move forward without the background story on this? your still pretty evasive about the subject, your not saying what it is you have done which is so bad that has made her act this ... (read in full...)

I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get her back but I don't know where to start! Help?

Q.   okay , it is been along time now but i'm back ...and i have a question ..i really need help with it because i have no idea what to do . if you hurt your friend how many time do you say i'm sorry and what do you do when she just doesn't want to ...

A.   28 May 2013: HI The only thing you can do is leave her alone now for her to make up her own mind about things. If she still no loner wants to be friends then there is really nothing you can do. Can I ask what was so bad she has cut you from her life lik... (read in full...)

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