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| | GrimmReality's profile:It is unfair to both of us if I am not brutally honest. So don't take it personal if I think you are wrong, because most likely you are.
Thus my ratings take dramatic swings because most people can't handle the truth...If you are seething at this paragraph already it's probably because Ive made you look in the mirror.
You will find that I tell you what you need to hear, rather than worry about being popular. I provide honest and REALISTIC advice
If you are deserving of compassion you will get it. If you deserve a wake up call, you will get that too.
Cheaters Beware.....I treat you without mercy! I have little or no compassion at all for cheaters, for you are the scum of the Earth.
Once again, take the advice or leave it....I really don't care.
SMD FOREVER! |
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The sum of al fears... My obsession with relationship (sexual) past.
Q. I've been on this site, and a few others for a while. My question I guess is a combination of many questions, and I'm not totally sure where to begin. Let me start by saying that I love my girl. If I didn't then I wouldn't be worried about an...
A. 19 November 2009: Assuming that this is not a Troll post (which I have my doubts that it is not but am replying anyway) YOU SHOULD HAVE FOLLOWED THIS RULE BEFORE YOU EVER DATED HER When considering a relationship of any kind, practice the Rule of T... (read in full...)
I'm not a liar but I can't justify my actions!
Q. Today is my boyfriend and I's ten months. We've been going strong so far, but tonight tests us... About a year ago (before we were dating), I was trying to get into modeling. I went to a photographer who was fairly well-known, and seemed professio...
A. 19 November 2009: Yes, what kind of contract did you sign with this photographer? If he retained sole rights to the photos he can use them in any way that he wants. But the issue with anything in our age is that photos taken of these types are bound to wind up... (read in full...)
Smelling sweet... or not!
Q. This question may sound a bit stupid, but do women ever get paranoid of what they smell like down there? I don't smell or anything but when my boyfriend plays with me I get paranoid just in case I do, and even if I did would a boy tell you? I'm just ...
A. 18 November 2009: I for one would be the first to tell a chick (AND HAVE) if I didn't like it. If I am turned off by the strength of the smell I certainly will not put my tongue near it or insert.
Doesent matter if its inappropriate or not..WTF is that all abou... (read in full...)
How do I overcome these differences with my girlfriend over socialising with work colleagues?
Q. Work and girlfriend issues I work with my girlfriend but in a large busy environment. We hardly see each other at work. We are very professional about our relationship and it hasn't been a problem until now. I've been there for over 10 years an...
A. 17 November 2009: You ever consider that she may be sleeping with one of them behind your back?
Of course you have no proof of it and I am sure I will be flamed for being so insensitive, but she has been there two years so two years is time enough to know these pe... (read in full...)
Is this really the price I have to pay for my happiness?
Q. I dont really know where to start... Back in June I posted about how I had canceled my wedding to my fiance of 3 years and left him, and how i felt bad because he was beyond hurt. I was given a lot of advice on how he would get over it eventual...
A. 16 November 2009: Wow.... Well as sad as this must be for you I guess you must have not realized just how devastated your fiance was. People have very different reactions to it. I wonder however why when you cancelled the wedding that you didnt immediately take ... (read in full...)
How will my ex react if I wore another guy's jersey?
Q. heyy guys :) i need fast answers for this one please! so this guy tht i flirt with all the time wants me to wear his football jersey to school 2moro. we both jus flirt, he has a gf tht goes to a different school, we will never be in a real ...
A. 16 November 2009: Sure go ahead and wear it! Its obvious you want to really do it to make the your ex jealous and upset him. Then your Ex and this guy will get into a big fight and you can laugh and love it because its all for you You openly admit you like to play... (read in full...)
Is it possible to have a no-strings attached thing with him again?
Q. Over the summer, I had a fling that was purely lustful. I went in not wanting anything. I told him I would be starting school in Sept and moving. I could tell he didn't want me to move. The relationship was great for what it was. It seemed like h...
A. 16 November 2009: Nope! The die is cast. When you gave him the "distance treatment" he decided to see his ex again. Then you didn't like it and cut him off. Then after you got what you wanted (him coming back to you) then you told him he doesn't know what he wan... (read in full...)
My life is in tatters with an ex that won't move on and a new guy who isn't that interested in me. I don't know what to do!
Q. My life is in tatters at the moment. I split up with my ex in july, mutual decision but since then it's been hard to move on as he is in daily contact with me. I have told him to cut contact but he can't go a day without texting me. The other wk I...
A. 16 November 2009: I suggest you go COMPLETE NO CONTACT WITH YOUR EX!
Exes are exes for a reason.
I also suggest the reason the other guy is now not interested is because he realizes you come with too much drama. To guys and girls that is poison and the fact ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my boyfriend. Should I confess?
Q. I cheated what should i do? I got back with my ex last tuesday and i cheated on him last night. We only dated a month the first time we went out then broke up. it was never anything serious but this time it was starting to seem like it might be...
A. 16 November 2009: Just let him go. Drinking is never an excuse and if at this young age you are gonna blame drinking for kissing another guy you will blame it on drinking when you screw some guy next. Just tell him because he will find out. They always do. And i... (read in full...)
I am in love with my best friend.... oh yeah....and btw...she's a married woman.
Q. I am in love with my best friend and she is married. I feel so bad about it, but I can't ignore my feelings anymore. It seems like the more we hang out, the more I want to be with her. I have slept with a total of 43 girls (2 of which I was in a ...
A. 15 November 2009: Go ahead and tell her. Then have a full blown affair. Watch how fun its going to be when you are eating out of a straw after her husband finds out and puts the boots to you. Hope you like soup!! Then revel in the drama after you recover just... (read in full...)
Should I believe him, knowing he likes to lie a lot?
Q. I just need some advice on this, me and my boyfriend been together for 2 yrs and we always had trust issues, he lives with his mom and sister and his sister has a lot of female friends who go to the house, now she has a friend who she just met and ...
A. 15 November 2009: PLEASE READ ON....And think real hard about it. I live my life by this rule. It does not fail me. It will not fail you either.
The Rule of Three Lies
When considering a relationship of any kind, practice the Rule of Threes regarding the cl... (read in full...)
I want my wife to use a strap on!
Q. I am a married man who loves to bend over. I am not attracted to men at all. Should I ask the wife to use a strap-on?...
A. 15 November 2009: Well if thats what you are into then I guess as strontiumdog says, only you can answer that.
I suggest experimenting also before you lay this on her...or vice versa... (read in full...)
Once upon a time...
Q. i have been married for 26 years have 3 grown children. My husband has always been a little flirter I think everyone does a little. We don't do anything together and are not really getting along very well any more, never talk, all that stuff. I ...
A. 15 November 2009: Well thats nothing to go on really. It could be anything. What gave you the hunch to go through his wallet in the first place.
Normally I am the first person to cry CHEATER CHEATER...but you dont have proof of anything.
Until you do, I sugges... (read in full...)
My ex has a new girlfriend. Should we continue our secret relationship?
Q. Me and my boyfried broke up after i lost our baby, he has a new girlfriend but we are still messing around, should i stick around or leave him alone even tho i kno he still loves me?...
A. 15 November 2009: OH COME ONE ORIGINAL POSTER!!!!
I don't know...jeeze thats a no brainer...Leave him alone. If he cheats with you he will cheat ON you...DUH???
Plus you are a cheater'[s enabler, which makes you look a bit of a slag... (read in full...)
Do I owe my ex closure?
Q. [Moderator Note: Additional information posted under heading 'Am I being unfair to my ex-girlfriend?' Link: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/am-i-being-unfair-to-my-ex-girlfriend.html] Hi I'm in a bit of a quandry. I was with my ex for 6 ye...
A. 14 November 2009: Are you really almost 60 years old? DUH?????
You have no right to demand anything or expect anything. You deserted her and dissapeared?
I had it happen to me once with a GF and 14 months later I got a drunken text in the middle of the night fro... (read in full...)
She had sex a week after our break up, two years later I still feel betrayed! Please help.
Q. I have been dating this girl for a little over 2 years now. Everything is great in our relationship and we both have sex regularly. There is one thing that came up and keeps coming up. When we first started dating, I had a jealous friend on the side...
A. 14 November 2009: Well I think in the back of your mind you feel betrayed not only because of the backstabbing, but because your GF had sex so quickly after the breakup.
Look. Two years is an awful long time to hold a grudge against your current GF. I mean yes... (read in full...)
Walked in on my boyfriend with a guy in his bed. Is he gay or did he think it was me?
Q. My boyfreind went out with friends last night and probably got a bit drunk. Anyway when i called to his house this morning he was in the bed with his friend (a man) but thats normal as sometimes they just crash in the same bed if theres no free ...
A. 14 November 2009: Well I think your BF is Bisexual or BiCurious at best. I don't care how drunk you are the hardware is different and unless he was like an insect that had antennae or has all his limbs cut off and eyes poked out he'd know the difference.
I think he... (read in full...)
Which of these two guys should I marry?
Q. i am 22 now .i was in a love relationship with a guy for 4 years and we broke up, then I moved back to US. due to my tensions, I flirted with a guy and had fake love relationship for almost 6 months, I introduced him to my family and both his and my ...
A. 13 November 2009: I think you should do some growing up before you marry ANYONE! Your post belies the fact that you lack the maturity necessary to be in a marriage. If you are in such a dilemma, I suggest you not rush into this. when you have these kinds of dile... (read in full...)
Am I setting myself up for another fall?
Q. hi im 28 and the guy i love is 23. i know him since i started my current job, i started 2 weeks b4 xmas in 2005 he was 19 and i was 24 when i first met him we connected on many levels then at the xmas party we kissed. at that stage he was in a ...
A. 12 November 2009: Well come on now... People you cheat with are people that will cheat on you...I mean are you really surprised? You both were cheating on your significant others so in essence you go paid back in your own coin. Just let him go and learn from th... (read in full...)
Bf thinks I am cheating... how do I prove my love and loyalty? I am lost without him as my best friend.
Q. ugh I hate to say but the man ive been datin for almost a year thinks im cheating on him he hacks into my myspace and things and says im looking for sex with other guys which im not and when i go back and read the thing he sees it says nothin about ...
A. 12 November 2009: Well all I can say( and I have said it before) is that Social sites such as Myspace and Facebook can be RELATIONSHIP KILLERS. I do know somewhat of your dilemma as well. Although I am a male, the woman I am currently dating is quite a bit ... (read in full...)
Could one little white lie ruin my relationship?
Q. Me and my man have been together since may this year and i feel like he does not trust me. For example, yesterday i had to work and had only two dollars to get me to work and no money to get home. I called a couple of my friends to pick me up but ...
A. 12 November 2009: Well look at it this way....what if the tables were reversed. If say for instance that your man had called an Ex to give him a ride. How would you feel. A lie is a lie is a lie. If you will lie about something seemingly so inconsequentia... (read in full...)
I found out my sister is cheating on her fiance, what do I do?
Q. I am not one to 'stay out of it' when I find a person cheating on their boyfriend/girlfriend. However, I recently found out that my sister has been repeatedly cheating on her fiance (they have been together about 4 1/2 years. My brother accidentally ...
A. 3 November 2009: If you let them get married and he finds out(which he eventually will) that she not only cheated but her family members knew about it he'd have every right to spit in your face. Family or not doing what is right is what has to be done. How'd y... (read in full...)
She cheated on me and I forgive her, but now she does not know what she wants.
Q. Well here it goes, I was went on vacation and I kept in contact with my girlfriend that I love very much, and i suspected something was going on and I was right She was cheating on me and she admitted it and asked me to forgive her I was raged but I ...
A. 1 November 2009: lol....come on. You cheated..she cheated..and now she wants to keep the guy she cheated with as a friend? And is "confused"?
lol that translates into " I want to mess around with both of you"... I suggest you move on and learn a lesson from thi... (read in full...)
Help I'm caught in the middle...
Q. Once again, thank you all agony aunts for answering my questions for years, dunno what I would do without all of you!! The situation I'm in is rather complicated. Me and my boyfriend have been on/off for 3 years, but he's finally very committed t...
A. 23 October 2009: Well that changes my original advice.
(Oh thats right...once again it was REJECTED...so I guess I'll go with this)
If someone promises they aren't sleeping with somebody else and then lies about it, regardless then the dumb idiot gets what ... (read in full...)
Help I'm caught in the middle...
Q. Once again, thank you all agony aunts for answering my questions for years, dunno what I would do without all of you!! The situation I'm in is rather complicated. Me and my boyfriend have been on/off for 3 years, but he's finally very committed t...
A. 23 October 2009: It was none of your business in the first place, especially if they are now broken up. It did no good to bring it up if they are no longer exclusive. It seems very immature on your part and will probably have some real ramifications as to whether ... (read in full...)
Ok to cheat on him to get pregnant and then tell him its his?
Q. I have been with my bf for 2 years and love him to def! Now... we have been trying to have a baby the last 6 months with no success. I know it is not ME with any issues because I have had 2 pregnancies before and got pregnant RIGHT away. I ...
A. 23 October 2009: Well he probably jerks off 2-3 times a day becuase he realises he has an idiot for a girlfriend, and would rather have sex with his own hand. Did you discuss this with your Co-workers at MacDonald's? ... (read in full...)
I know this is long, but I really need help. any advice or insight will be incredibly appreciated
Q. This is the backstory to the question. My girlfriend and I have been going out for almost 2 years. We love each other very much. We have a stunning amount in common and a very powerful connection ie ( knowing what each other is thinking) calling ...
A. 23 October 2009: Once again if you actually read my response you would know I am in agreement with you as far as this toxic woman. I questioned the poster's intellect in acceptance to admitting in principle to her that he raped her when clearly he didn't. That cou... (read in full...)
I know this is long, but I really need help. any advice or insight will be incredibly appreciated
Q. This is the backstory to the question. My girlfriend and I have been going out for almost 2 years. We love each other very much. We have a stunning amount in common and a very powerful connection ie ( knowing what each other is thinking) calling ...
A. 23 October 2009: Well all I can say is that No means no. That being said you were man enough to stop. However.... Yes she is pulling your strings like a puppet master But you know, you cheated on her too, because you weren't getting sex. You should have bro... (read in full...)
Did I make the right move by backing off?
Q. so i meet this guy six months ago, we had a lot of fun together, no fights at all. His old girlfriends parents see us out together, so she begins to call him! so im sure now he has mixed feelings. They dated on and off for years, one sided from him, ...
A. 23 October 2009: Yep...you did the right thing. As long as the this toxic female is around shaking her tail feathers it will affect every aspect of your relationship.
You are a much better person for taking the initiative and acting. This way it puts the onus on ... (read in full...)
What if she chooses smoking over me?
Q. hey i have a problem with my girlfriend she used to smoke before we hooked up and quit when we became official because she knows that i wouldnt be with someone that smokes for reasons i told her. we are going to a party this Saturday and she said ...
A. 22 October 2009: It's her choice or not to smoke. She will either do it or not. You have your opinion, but when you give ultimatums based on things like this, you dont have much of a relationship.
If it bothers you so much then break up with her. That is your cho... (read in full...)
I have low self esteem, slept with another guy and know I should tell my b/f but I'm afraid!
Q. Hi, I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. I love him so much; he is gorgeous, intelligent good job etc. I could not ask for someone better. From what he has told me he feels the same way about me. However we have big relationship pro...
A. 22 October 2009: Just becuase you "told him" does not leave you with any right to determine the future of your relationship. You lost that right the minute you screwed somebody else You think his love for you is strong...don't be so sure. These things have a te... (read in full...)
Am I being selfish for doing what I am doing and hoping she gets caught?
Q. I still need Advice. Back in December of 2008 I reconnected with my high school sweetheart. We have not had contact since 1993. I was browsing around on Facebook and found her. I thought that it would be nice to catch up on old times with her. ...
A. 22 October 2009: " Well just to clarify this. She is not married to the other guy. They have been together for 7 years but no marriage. The were engaged 5 of those 7 years. She did give the ring back to him back this summer after taking it off in Febuary, I really ... (read in full...)
Am I being selfish for doing what I am doing and hoping she gets caught?
Q. I still need Advice. Back in December of 2008 I reconnected with my high school sweetheart. We have not had contact since 1993. I was browsing around on Facebook and found her. I thought that it would be nice to catch up on old times with her. ...
A. 22 October 2009: How in the hell can you be so selfish...either of you. You know, it's one thing for her to break up with him and then see you, but this back and forth cheating on both of your parts..you should both be ashamed of yourself. If I was that guy Id ... (read in full...)
What gives?
Q. Ok so here goes.. My BF and I agreed to take things slow. He said we needed to talk. This was after 6 weeks of no contact. He said he loves me and cares about me. We made plans to get together to talk and grab a bite to eat on Friday. Frid...
A. 22 October 2009: RUN!...the guy is seeing someone else, and you are the last to know... (read in full...)
My girlfriend hid the fact she had a son. Could this indicate a potential pattern of lying?
Q. Girlfriend of three months tells me via text message that she has a son. We just started getting slightly serious, and I still feel a little lied to. I am 25, she 23, I have no idea how old her son is. I had no idea that she had a son, not e...
A. 22 October 2009: WHY ARE YOU EVEN LETTING HER BACK INTO YOUR HOUSE? I am sorry, but if you refuse to see the absurdity of her excuses, then there is little any one of us can do to help you. I suggest you go down to the store in the morning and get an etching s... (read in full...)
I'm married to someone else but he said he'd wait. Should I trust him?
Q. I have met a most wonderful guy, only thing he lives 2hrs away from where I live, so I dont get to see as we would like.The first two week of our relationship, we email and text contantly. One weekend he got a email from his EX, which upset him and ...
A. 22 October 2009: Well being that you are emotionally cheating on your husband at the very least, I suggest you end this farce at once. You certainly cant find love in your own relationship if you are looking for love outside of it. I mean, come on, lady!! Y... (read in full...)
Am I her booty call?
Q. I met this girl about 2 months ago, we hit it off on the first date, on the second date she spent the entire weekend at my place. This happened for 2 more weekends, then one night during the week she told me that she had been having sex with ...
A. 22 October 2009: Dude...YOU ARE GETTING PLAYED! Don't let this toxic woman into your life...she is up to no good and for all you know wshe is telling this guy the same thing. who's to say that there arent others? Dude, I know the power of the pussy is hard to... (read in full...)
My girlfriend hid the fact she had a son. Could this indicate a potential pattern of lying?
Q. Girlfriend of three months tells me via text message that she has a son. We just started getting slightly serious, and I still feel a little lied to. I am 25, she 23, I have no idea how old her son is. I had no idea that she had a son, not e...
A. 22 October 2009: OH COME ON!
somebody you date for three months waits that long to tell you they have a child?
Uh thats a red flag right there. I am sorry, but that is a HUGE omission to leave out. I'd not be seriously getting involved with this woman at al... (read in full...)
I flashed him online and now I'm worried he'll put it on Youtube...
Q. Hi.I have something worry about last night. I had met with that guy on the internet. We chat at online last night. Its our first time chatting. We was chatting about 3 hours and we have little conversation about sex. And I've show him my upper body ...
A. 21 October 2009: Sure! There is always that possibilty. But not on YouTube I own some adult sites myself and I will tell you many times people post stills from webcams that they take and recieve. And then later use them as profile pics on adult dating sites like ... (read in full...)
I have low self esteem, slept with another guy and know I should tell my b/f but I'm afraid!
Q. Hi, I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. I love him so much; he is gorgeous, intelligent good job etc. I could not ask for someone better. From what he has told me he feels the same way about me. However we have big relationship pro...
A. 21 October 2009: Just when I thought there was consensus I ran across this question.. To quote Frank Costanza "SERENITY NOW! SERENITY NOW! SERENITY NOW"!... (read in full...)
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