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*ari agony aunt


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Good connection but he stopped initiating. Did he suddenly lose interest?

Q.   I posted last week but would appreciate some further advice. I don't have much dating experience especially post-school and I think I'm having a hard time. I've been on 6-7 days with a wonderful guy and we have an amazing connection. I thought we ...

A.   16 March 2016: I think you guys need to take it slow. As you said, he may realised that he dove in to quick and now he is backing out which neeednt be so. All you two need to do is to treat the relationship as a friendship. This one wihh have more benefits if and ... (read in full...)

Should I tell him that I don't enjoy sex with him? Or break up with him?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little bit over a year. Things were pretty nice at first, then we started having sex. I've never enjoyed sex with him, and I still don't feel any pleasure when we have intercourse. I've stayed with him ...

A.   5 July 2015: Hey OP, You probably heard that it takes too to tango and also there are two people in a relationship. In a relationship , Communication is really important. I dont think that you should tell him that right away. Try this! The next time that t... (read in full...)

Do guys usually ignore messages for no reason? Or playing mind games?

Q.   Hello, so there is a guy who was at aplarty, a few days later he added me on Facebook and started talking to me. Basically, he started adding me on other social medias and also talked to me there and kind of flirted and complimented me. He was fast ...

A.   5 July 2015:  Hey Alisa Vali, Dont you worry. I already know that he is interested in you , just by the fact he added you on all other social networks. People who just met you dont normally be quick to add you up on all those networks though. Also you mention... (read in full...)

He said he'd text but I haven't heard from him. Am I being too needy?

Q.   We had our first date yesterday and he texted me to make sure I got home safe. I told him he could text me tomorrow and he agreed he would but have not heard from him. Is there a reason he could have forgot? Am I being to needy? ...

A.   5 July 2015:  Hey , Thats normal to be anxious for the text after such a great date and no you are not needy! However, he has his life : job, etc and he maybe a bit busy. I would hold out for a good 2 days at most and see what happens then give him a call .... (read in full...)

There is an eleven year age gap!

Q.   In December last year I met a girl standing in line at a fast food place, I was standing behind her. When it was her turn to pay, turns out she forgot her money in the car. I saw this and offered to pay. After I had payed, she thanked me over and ...

A.   12 April 2015: Hey OP Age is just a number. I understand your concerns and worries but society and parents dont have much say when it comes to your relationship. This is between you and her. My ex was 35 and I was 21 at the time and I didnt feel weird or embarra... (read in full...)

I want to overcome my fear of starting a conversation with him.

Q.   i don't have a lot of relationship experience. It has taken me some time to figure out what it is I want out of life…one thing is to get married! currently, i think i like this guy but i seem to be unable to give off any signs that i like him…i ...

A.   12 April 2015: I agree with Nora B . Dating can be soo scary at times especially when you really like the person and you dont wanna screw up. I would just smile , be polite, talk about common topics ie The weather or some news article ... anything in recent ... (read in full...)

Colleague turned off by platonic comment I made?

Q.   I was talking to a male colleague about keeping in touch when he leaves for vacation. I joking said, "you're not going to blow me off if I try to reach out to you over the next few weeks?" and he became really uptight and offended. He just ended the ...

A.   12 April 2015: Dont feel sorry. You did nothing wrong. He seems like a very uptight person indeed. However, as you said he was avoiding you before, I think mentioning that in a "platonic" way only lets him know that you know but I hope that it isnt racism on his ... (read in full...)

Is this just a good friendship? Or is she flirting?

Q.   Okay, I really don't know what to think about this, like at all. My best friend, let's just call her Katy, I've been crushing on. I think she may like me too, but I don't know exactly. A few nights ago, her and my other friend "Kelley" invited me ...

A.   12 April 2015: Hey OP I think she likes you . There are the obvious signs: Cuddling, Skin touching, dreams where you asked her out... Its soo obvious that she likes you and would like to be a bit more than friends and she is trying to find out how you feel esp... (read in full...)

Is he subconsciously trying to impregnate me?

Q.   My partner and I had a pregnancy "scare" for want of a better term!!! We decided that we were ready to start trying for a baby in a few months so I have come off birth control pills since last week. We agreed that we would not try and not prevent ...

A.   27 December 2014: No, he is really trying to impregnante you. I mean, that is what the both of you agreed to right?? ... (read in full...)

Why would my guy friend ask me what I thought of his ex?

Q.   I just have a simple question I think, one of my guy friends sent me a picture of one of his ex's that he was talking to again and asked me what I thought of her? I don't know how to respond to it, I mean she's pretty. I asked why and he said just I ...

A.   14 December 2014: Thats good that you kept your cool and didnt show any emotions, would keep him wondering. The fact that he knows you like him, I guess he just wants to see if you are the jealous type or just how much you like him.... (read in full...)

He likes me or is it just sex?

Q.   Dear cupid i have this friend who is also my crush today in class him and i were flirting laughing and having basicly a flirtationship i really want to get to higher things and hopefully us becoming a thing but when class was over he handed me a ...

A.   6 December 2014: Hey, As of this moment you are unsure of what "when" means. So first you have to ask him what he means by that before you regret anything. Second thing, you have to make it extremely clear about what you stand for. Explain to him that you are not ... (read in full...)

Why would my guy friend ask me what I thought of his ex?

Q.   I just have a simple question I think, one of my guy friends sent me a picture of one of his ex's that he was talking to again and asked me what I thought of her? I don't know how to respond to it, I mean she's pretty. I asked why and he said just I ...

A.   6 December 2014:  Hey, Men sometimes do things that have you digging the depts of your brain, asking why. I find it odd that he would request such and answer from you but here goes: There's a possibility that he likes you and he wants to see how you react to him ... (read in full...)

I'm worried he thinks I rejected him. How do I fix this?

Q.   I have a male friend. We've been friends for a couple of years but recently I've developed feelings for him. We've been flirty and I think he likes me too. He's not a shy guy but he's not very forward with women. We were out with her friends ...

A.   19 November 2014: Im sure he doesn't feel rejected. You were a bit surprised, that's all and he probably noted it on your face. If you feel concerned about what he would think then maybe you can bring it up in a conversation. "Hey, that was a smooth move the other ... (read in full...)

Is it because I'm in a stable relationship with a good man that she doesn't want to see me?

Q.   I have this friend who I have been friends with since I was literally 4 years old. We were both the naughty twosome and our parents did not like us hanging out together at school as we would sit and giggle in all our classes. We stayed friends until ...

A.   19 November 2014: I know this is hard. Yes it is possible she is a bit jealous of you. The reason is simply that you probably have everything that she needs/wants. She has had it rough lately and sometimes when you are going through a hard time , it is easy to hate ... (read in full...)

Could he be jealous and think I'm with someone else or did he find out that I have a crush on him but he actually doesn't have feelings for me so he's acting distant and cold?

Q.   This is my last post: I bumped into him a few days ago while I was on my way to have some beer with a male co-worker and asked him if he wanted to go with us. He...

A.   19 November 2014: There are so many reasons. He may very well be jealous especially if he likes you or he could be bummed about something else. The point is , there is something bugging him and you need to find out. If its jealousy, that may easily be fixed: give him ... (read in full...)

Am I overthinking or does it seem like he wants a child?

Q.   Okay do this is a tricky one and playing on my mined .... i have a daughter 2 yeard old and my partner has took her on as hes own he loves her to bits .... he is 24 years old abd verry mature we love eachother deaply and babys always come up in our ...

A.   19 November 2014: I think he wants a child. While he may love your little girl, he may want one of his own with his own flesh and blood. Especially if it is his first child. ... (read in full...)

My ex is ill so I haven't told him I'm in a new relationship yet!

Q.   Ok, cutting a long story short, a few months ago my ex who still has feelings for me became very ill (we're still friends and have contact at his request). Around the same time I met someone else who's ex treated him terribly and left him/cheated on ...

A.   19 November 2014: Its good that you are concerned for your ex especially since he is in a very fragile position. What you can do is wait until your ex has reached at a stable state then tell him and at the same time you can explain your concerns to your boyfriend. ... (read in full...)

Why hasn't she told her guy friend she has a boyfriend?

Q.   My girlfriend has a guy friend that she has known for two years and they used to like each other she has not told him that she has a boyfriend and she wants to hang out with him alone and won't introduce me or tell him that she has a boyfriend. I ...

A.   19 November 2014: Maybe she wants to keep her options open. Like you said before you guys were dating, she used to have feelings for this guy. So there is a possibility that she thinks there maybe a chance for them to get a shot and she probably has feelings for him ... (read in full...)

Am I wrong for always thinking of him? even though he's hurt me so bad?

Q.   So me and my boyfriend just broke up AGAIN for good, he was the first guy I've ever loved and it hurts like hell. But theres a story behind it all..the first time we broke up was around March after spring break where he started talking to some ...

A.   19 November 2014: This is too painful for me to read to the end. Personally, I think you need to break up with this guy. He cheats on you and disrespects you by forwardly flirting with girls. You have forgiven him countless times and he continues to do the same thing ... (read in full...)

Would telling him I'm going on a date with someone get his attention?

Q.   theres a guy i like and would love it if he asked me out but i need to get his attention first. we are friends he said he liked me before but didnt do anything about it we do fun friend flirting that doesnt mean anything asfar as i know ,im too ...

A.   19 November 2014: I think you need to be bold and ask him out. I know as women we are used to men doing the lot but it can both ways. I don't think you should create a fake date to make him jealous as that is pretty much what it will do and in the process make him ... (read in full...)

She wants to get him out of her mind!

Q.   One of my best friends told me that she thinks she likes our best friends brother. I think that she should go for it but our friend has made It VERY clear that her brother is off limits to any of us four (her best friends) because it would be weird. ...

A.   18 November 2014: I understand your friend's situation. It can be very hard when one of your friends get involved with your brother. Sometimes those "weird" feelings are nothing more than misplaced jealousy or fear of just losing that friend and of course your friend ... (read in full...)

What's up with this friend's hugs and kisses?

Q.   Just a general question about body language. I've been away on a nice long 6 week holiday and come back refreshed and ready for anything. Except one of my friends reaction to my return. We are very close but I'm not really one to indulge in big...

A.   18 November 2014: Dont think much of it. She may have missed you and is just being friendly. However I understand what you mean, I am not too big on the suffocating hugs. One in a while, yes but too much, too often and it can become over bearing. I wont think much of ... (read in full...)

Can a man commit to just his wife?

Q.   wow... its been a couple years of being a part of this site.. i look back at the past questions i have asked. lol... but here i am again. i have feelings that my amazing husband is cheating on me. is here such a thing of a man to be committed to one ...

A.   31 October 2014: I think a man can be committed to one person and a relationship can last forever. It all comes down to the individuals and their morals and values. e,g are they in it for the long haul, are they willing to do what it takes to make it work?? A ... (read in full...)

Am I being a bad friend? I have a crush on her ex. But she has said that she likes him, but will never get back with him.

Q.   I have recently had sex with a guy and I'm starting to really like him, however he is one of my closest friends ex boyfriend.. I told her I kissed him once at a party and she didn't seem bothered at all but she also told me, weeks after that, that...

A.   31 October 2014: Its good that you are concerned about how your friend would feel about you being involved with her ex boyfriend. Its always a tight situation to be in , you the friend being with your friend's ex. However, you mentioned that you told her that you ... (read in full...)

How do I get my girlfriend back so I can help her?

Q.   My girlfriend and me are separated at the moment but am trying to get her back, I earn alot more money than her and all the time that we were together i tried to help her with money for which she would only refuse my offer of money and told me that ...

A.   31 October 2014: Oh my, if what you heard is true then your ex girlfriend maybe in need of some help. I know that some of us women are full of pride or we may want to show men that we are independent, strong and have no need for them as much. The truth is sometimes ... (read in full...)

How do I get over fighting this feeling like I was wrong for leaving him?

Q.   I have been broken up with my ex for a month now. I understand it hurts but am i supposed to feel like i am wrong? We were together 5 full years. Over the years he became unloving to me and made me feel like i was scum under his shoes but for some ...

A.   31 October 2014:  It is understandable for you to feel confused, sad and hurt after a relationship especially one where the person was very dear to you. However, before you beat yourself up.. you must justify your reasons for leaving him.. If you think that you may ... (read in full...)

Worried about girlfriends nightlife

Q.   Ok, my girlfriend is away at college for the past 3yrs and everything has been great. She goes out to drink once in a great while with her friends and I don't mind because I know her friends and they are good people. I myself hate drinking...

A.   31 October 2014:  I think you should tell her how you feel. Have a chat about your concerns, fears etc. I am not going to say, she might change from going out to parties, guys house etc but if she does then she really loves you. Just try it and see how it goes. Best... (read in full...)

I heard a man I like has cancer. Should I go see him

Q.   A man I like has cancer, should I go and see him? I haven't seen or heard from him for a while. We have liked each other for a while, but we haven't been in a relationship. I am devastated. I was out in a pub last night ,and his friend told me that ...

A.   20 September 2014: It is obvious that you like this guy. Nothing is wrong with visiting him, or calling him for that matter. It would show that your are concerned about his health and he would really appreciate your support in this time. Im very sorry to hear that he ... (read in full...)

Three dates later, I think he's lost interest. Should I text him or wait?

Q.   I went on three dates with a guy who I really like and who seemed to like me as well but this most recent date was a week ago, and we went out then I ended up sleeping at his place. We didn't have sex and he wasn't pressuring me to, we just fooled ...

A.   20 September 2014: The suspense is killing. I know the feeling but there has to be a reason why he isnt texting or getting in touch with you because 3 dates was alot. Dont jump to conclusions just yet. I think you should text back, let it be short and simple and dont ... (read in full...)

I love him but not his tattoo! How can I convince him to erase it?

Q.   l been with my boyfriend for 5 years and our relationship was great. We are both 25. He loves me so much and serious about our relationship. He would do anything to make me happy. But now he has changed. Its because of me too. Its my fault. I've ...

A.   20 September 2014: It can be very frustrating when people who we think we know begin to show their colors. Who knows why he got the tattoo and is smoking , maybe he is just as stressed out like you and sometimes when people are stressed they have their ways of dealing ... (read in full...)

I'm over my ex, but I feel emotional about his new baby with another woman

Q.   Hi I will try to condense a long complex story .I split with my sons dad three and a half years ago .it was a painful and messy split .we had a very intense 5 years together where we were either deeply in love of fighting. We were over the moon when ...

A.   20 September 2014: You have been through so much its only natural you would feel this way. Give yourself a break. Just be yourself which is the good and caring person that you already are. ... (read in full...)

Why does he keep looking at me?

Q.   I started my placement as part of my degree about 2 weeks ago. Yesterday I noticed that a guy who works there too but in a different office, possibly a different division, but I think on the same floor as me, looks at me when he walks by. My desk is ...

A.   23 August 2014: OmG he is married, Thats a definite NO-NO! Some times men like to have a fling to bring some excitement which they probably arent experiencing in their marriage . So you are wondering what the heck did they get married for? Just stay far far far ... (read in full...)

I'm insecure for no reason -- how do I stop it from hurting my relationship?

Q.   I have been divorced for two yrs. I just started dating. I met a nice guy and we have been dating for almost a year. I love him very much and think he is great. We go to church together and talk about our future together. He is great with the ...

A.   21 August 2014: Hey I know its never easy once you have been cheated on. "Once a cheater, always a cheater" they say and they are probably right. You have done good though, you are out of that past pains and you have entered into a better place now with a man who ... (read in full...)

Why does he keep looking at me?

Q.   I started my placement as part of my degree about 2 weeks ago. Yesterday I noticed that a guy who works there too but in a different office, possibly a different division, but I think on the same floor as me, looks at me when he walks by. My desk is ...

A.   21 August 2014: Hey honey, He is checking you out. He obviously likes you. I dont think he would think you hate him or anything, he may just think you are shy. if you like him you can show some interests. Maybe smile, flirt. When you are comfortable enough you guys ... (read in full...)

I'll never make the mistake again and I need to get past the guilt

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for two and a half years and love him to pieces. Last Christmas I went to a works Christmas party got really drunk and kissed two people. Nothing else happened and it only happened because I was really drunk. I was ...

A.   21 August 2014: Hey, going around with guilt in your heart is like walking around with a boulder on your shoulder. All that you require is relief. This is not healthy for you or your relationship. What I can advise you to do and you are not going to like it but its ... (read in full...)

How should I tell this woman that the man she loves isn't who he says that he is?

Q.   I am in total shock. I was dating a really wonderful, fun man for 10 months, who was doing important research in the medical field. We saw each other about once a week, and rarely on weekends, as he was always working on grants and papers, trying to ...

A.   21 August 2014: Hey I know how you feel. Its not a good feeling knowing that you put yourself out there as a woman, giving your all and getting the crappy end of the stick. Both men and women lie, cheat and hurt sometimes, intentionally and unintentionally. When it ... (read in full...)

I want my boyfriend to forgive and forget

Q.   i am dating this Boy for Three years now, a long distance relationship and unfortunately we are going down everyday cos i had an affair with a Boy a year ago and My bf found out and obviously was very sad and disappointed in me. But he forgave me ...

A.   21 August 2014: Ok, thats a mess. Do not panic jus yet. Trust and Honesty are two key components in a relationship. When two people are in a relationship, they give and they expect back the same. Your boyfriend has obviously forgiven you which is a plus on your ... (read in full...)

Should I keep him as a friend? Why did he tell me he had sex with her? Should I have a relationship with him?

Q.   Dear Cupid, I have feelings for this guy. We've been friends for years and his gf and him are on a break because she had to go to uni for 9 mnths now. We have been spending time together as friends. I have visited his apartment. We kissed and...

A.   3 June 2014: Thanks for advice you guys. I have not had any contact with him since, not even as friends. Its really hard! Especially since he has been texting and calling. I am tryinf to occupy myself with hobbies and stuff. Hopefully, I will meet a guy who I ... (read in full...)

He said if I don't go to his wedding I won't be welcome to visit his auntie and uncle anymore!

Q.   My Muslim boyfriend who i was with for 4 years his family have got him married off to a cousin of a cousin. I knew it was on the cards as the auntie and uncle went to meet the family last Feb 2013, however i was still heartbroken as the auntie said ...

A.   2 June 2014: Hey girl, You know what I think? I think you need to let it all go. You guys were together for a long time and hearing your love being married off to another woman is gonna hurt like hell. So I think you need to cut him off! Its not gonna be easy ... (read in full...)

Help me, I'm not studying for my exams because I'm avoiding the professor I have fallen in love with!

Q.   I am 32 year old unmarried female, I am working in company and pursuing B E in the evening college, I approached a professor for clarify some doubt about subject. He is married and have 2 doughters 18 year old. I is to got his chamber frequently ...

A.   2 June 2014: Hey anonymous, I can safely say that everyone has had a crush on their teacher at some point in their lives. Its perfectly normal. You have already stated that he is married and has a wife and kids and we both know there is no point in a rela... (read in full...)

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