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*etina1 agony aunt

*etina1

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Hi I'm a 50+ Woman of the world. Been through divorce, lived as a single parent and work for social services. Spent 6 yrs in adult education. I've had many jobs and many experiences of working with diverse and interesting people. I know life can be hard and realize that some people don't know where to look for the answers for things that are important to them as an individual. I hope I can advise honestly and responsibly to the questions asked. Good Luck, Hope this helps. Petina1 x

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I still like girls but find myself drawn to him ....

Q.   Hello, all! Recently, I have found myself falling for a good friend of mine. We've been friends for a little over a year, but we just got super close about 6 months ago. He had a girlfriend for a while, but she was terrible to him- he is such a ...

A.   19 July 2014: He feels comfortable with you, and I think he sees you as a good close friend. I have a sneaky feeling y ou could lose his friendship if you do pursue a relationship. It's up to you though, take a risk, or not but reading between your lines that's ... (read in full...)

I know I'm better off without her but I would deal with it for my son!

Q.   Well, I was with my now ex for a little over 3 years before we split. We split last year for 4 months an got back together. This time its been a year an I have been patient with her. We broke up for stupid reasons an in the beginning we would talk ...

A.   19 July 2014: She doesn't sound too committed to me. Do you want someone who truly loves you and is committed only to you and wants to see you and spend time with you and your son. She doesn't sound like that person to me. You really should think about ... (read in full...)

What are some good ways to rekindle friendship with a friend from school, where we have lost touch with each other?

Q.   Hi I am thinking about contacting an old primary school 'best friend' she was brilliant, but when we moved onto high school (the same one) we made different friends and have gradually lost touch and not spoken for about 8 years. I really would ...

A.   19 July 2014: Just keep it sweet and relive your memories of school. That's a start. Let her know how you've gone on in your life and ask her how she's doing. good luck... (read in full...)

Would you date someone who uses a wheelchair? Or consider it?

Q.   Just curious. Because I use one but it seems that most people are really weary of it and I think a lot of them think wheelchair-users are a no go when it comes to dating, or even friendship. I'll be honest and say that making friends has been...

A.   19 July 2014: You sound like a nice outgoing man, why wouldn't anyone not want to date you. You should concentrate on building relationships first, granted the wheelchair may hold you back but only because the un known frightens some people off. Once you get ... (read in full...)

Why won't he kiss me passionately?

Q.   I v been dating a man for a few weeks . Its obvious that we find each other attractive and hug ,hold hands and we have kissed but not a passionate kiss it felt like a peck of endearment . So my question is why wont he kiss me passionately ? ...

A.   19 July 2014: some people get very nervous about kissing, no matter what age. If things get a bit more serious and deeper in to the relationship he may get carried away one day. He's got his reasons no doubt and it seems nice to know that some men have more ... (read in full...)

How do I handle this message from my very best friend, who was hurt by a misunderstanding!

Q.   Recently I have had a health scare. I work with my very best friend and she has told me I'm her best friend ever and she has never in her life had a friend that means as much to her as I do. She tells me all the time she loves me. So when I found ...

A.   19 July 2014: You could put it into a letter explaining it. I can see how your friend would get upset and jealous maybe. It's a difficult situation because women seem to only have 'one' best friend but you wanted to talk to her on her own and didn't get that ... (read in full...)

Will I ever stop regretting that I wasted my 20s?

Q.   Hello helpers, Recently I am coming to terms that I have been depressed some way for nearly 10 years now. I didn't think I was before I just thought life was naff and I could never be happy. But anyway over the years I have spent time with no amb...

A.   19 July 2014: No you haven't wasted your 'fun' years. Now you are realizing that you want more out of life, coming out of the haze and waking up to yourself. Change of scenery is whats on the horizon. make that happen, whether it be a change of location or a ... (read in full...)

Should I ask if he slept with his female friend who is about to visit?

Q.   Just starting a new relationship with a guy and it's going great. He has a female friend who he's been friends with for about four years, she lives abroad and they met online. She's coming over for a visit soon and I don't know what to feel. They ...

A.   19 July 2014: You are in a relationship with this guy. It's your right to ask the question. after all if he has then he may pick it up again and you need to be sure that you aren't being used. If it's all innocent then go with them on their outtings.... (read in full...)

My girlfriend and my best friend live at each others' houses in my absence! What's going on?

Q.   So, I have been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years and she is the love of my life, I can't picture my life without her. but recently she has been hanging around with my best friend alot, I recently found out that (after we had a huge argument) ...

A.   13 June 2014: Leave them to it. They both haven't the decency to tell you they are an item. Move on and find someone else who will care for you because you are being treated like a mug... (read in full...)

Why do I think of him every day?

Q.   i wrote a little while back about the affair i had. im still trying to put it behind me. i see that guy frequently out and about with his new gf. it hurts soo bad. its like it didnt even happen to him. i didnt get how little i meant to him until ...

A.   13 June 2014: Tackle the problems in your marriage now. Try to remember what it was like when things were going good. You lived out a fantasy for some excitement in your life with the affair. He has finished with you so accept that otherwise he would still be ... (read in full...)

We're on a break because he thinks he can't make me happy

Q.   My boyfriend of a year and a half and I decided to take an 8 week break this week. We have been arguing a lot because of my insecurity. He is INTP {introversion, intuition, thinking, perception - Moderator} personality and he doesn't feel that he ...

A.   13 June 2014: He sounds like he is testing someone else out and he can come back to you if that doesn't work out. I never trust a man who wants a break. He should be worried sick that you may find someone else whilst your not together. If you block all contact ... (read in full...)

I think he feels it too, but how do I know?

Q.   I've known Mark since 1st grade...we're now 56. After school he left for college and I have not thought of him til 2 yrs ago when I got a friend request on FB from him. We started talking every few weeks for 6 months then a little more up until 9 ...

A.   13 June 2014: He doesn't seems to have a fear of closeness or commitment. You need to get to know him a bit more. You may not get the man you desire if you don't probe a bit deeper.dont rush in yet.... (read in full...)

My vagina doesn't look so nice

Q.   Hey guys I don't want him to see my vagina when i was younger i shaved it and i got shaving pimples and i got dark pimple spot and it doesn't look so nice ... what can i do ????...

A.   13 June 2014: Tell him you shaved it. Some men like to hear those words! But also, seriously you will recover and don't shave again. Give yourself a trim in future and you can do your bikini line by plucking then use an antiseptic cream where you've plucked.... (read in full...)

Help my crush is being taken away from me!!

Q.   Hiya I need all the possible help needed and as soon as possible please!! So I like this boy and he likes me back but were not going out as we don't want to ruin our friendship. But I want more I am thinking of asking him out tomorrow but the...

A.   13 June 2014: Sometimes when you confide in your friends that you like someone. They actually go for it. If you want something so badly then don't be a lame duck just grab it while you can. If it doesn't work out, look around . There's always another challenge ... (read in full...)

Trying to spice things up -- how about my cheerleader uniform?

Q.   my boyfriend and i have been looking for ways to spice things up in the bedroom. i recently found one of my old cheerleading uniforms from high school and discovered that i can still fit into it...and i'm thinking that it might be fun to try a ...

A.   13 June 2014: I don't think a cheer leading outfit is in the sexy league. You could improviize tho. Stick hype pom-poms onto your boobs. Wear same colore thong and add some pull up fish nets. Now I know that would work every time for my partner. Good luck!... (read in full...)

He told me he likes my cousin! How do I get over him?

Q.   I worked with this guy and we talked quite a bit, we became friends and then things started going quicker. He had/still has a girlfriend and two kids and one on the way. But He would ask me to send him pictures(nude ones) and I did because well i ...

A.   13 June 2014: Find something else to do. He will never ever want to be with you. He is using you. Block all contact with him. ... (read in full...)

What is wrong with this man who 'groomed' me when I was fourteen? Years have passed and he still contacts me...

Q.   Hello dear all, Please bear for the long story and please don't mind the language mistakes.. I am a 20 year old female who has met this certain man when I was around 9 or 10 years old because we were both in the same activity. Around the age...

A.   10 June 2014: He is a paedophile. You won't be the only one he has in his sight. You actually need to inform the police and tell them your story. If you don't want to then another little innocent child will become his prey. Hope this helps... (read in full...)

I got two girl's phone numbers, but I'm not sure what to do on a date! Advice?

Q.   Just the thought of asking anyone of them out gives me butterfly nerve feeling in my stomach. I met this Indian lady while back so I manage to get the courage to ask for her number about couple weeks before school semester ended. The other lady I ...

A.   10 June 2014: Tennis would be a great date. Get to know each other having fun. Meals out can be a bit boring sometimes. You could always grab a burger afterwards.... (read in full...)

Any ideas of what could be going through her mind? Why did she act so weird?

Q.   Maybe this problem will resolve itself sooner than I'll hear from y'all, but I'm stuck at work for the next hour with nothing to do and this on my mind, so here goes: Met this girl through a friend 3ish weeks ago. Immediately hit it off really we...

A.   10 June 2014: Sounds likel you are one of many men that she is Skype ing. I know it's not what you want to hear but she seems to be living her life online and not in the real world like so many do now. People come across as being confident and more open when in ... (read in full...)

My husband's family are awful - was I wrong for striking back?

Q.   Just need advice on this one....My husbands family treats me so bad. Everything in their life always ends up to be my fault for some reason. It stems back 10 years now of going round and round. I always have just listened to my husband. He says be ...

A.   10 June 2014: It seems a bit late in the day one to tackle all these problems. It probably won't matter what you say or do they seem so set in their ways. I would suggest that if your kids want to keep contact with them let your husband take them. You should cut ... (read in full...)

Would this be an OK gift for his mother?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 8 mos and we moved in together in about 2 mos ago. I have met his family and they seem to like me very much. We get together with them about once a week, and his mother just bought us tickets to go to ...

A.   10 June 2014: Wow she seems to like you. I think it would be very nice to give her a nicely framed photo of you and her son.... (read in full...)

He keeps leading me on then breaking me off with other girls! Advice?

Q.   So, basically, i'm young and stupid and daft as people call the younger generation today. But, i have been troubled by a situation i have been placed in and was wondering if anyone could give me some advice. There is this boy at school and he is...

A.   10 June 2014: Unfortunately for you it's the age. He is a popular boy and he knows it. By having a constant stream of girlfriends he obviously isn't ready for anyone in particular. It's quite normal but you're feelings are been shattered by it. I can only suggest ... (read in full...)

He keeps leading me on then breaking me off with other girls! Advice?

Q.   So, basically, i'm young and stupid and daft as people call the younger generation today. But, i have been troubled by a situation i have been placed in and was wondering if anyone could give me some advice. There is this boy at school and he is...

A.   10 June 2014: Unfortunately for you it's the age. He is a popular boy and he knows it. By having a constant stream of girlfriends he obviously isn't ready for anyone in particular. It's quite normal but you're feelings are been shattered by it. I can only suggest ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend of 8 years and I just moved in together but now all we do is fight!

Q.   HI Ying Yang I would really appreciate if you could help me with this mess. Where do I even begin to cut a long story short.Well I've been with my boyfriend for 8 years he means the world to me I truly love him don't think he even knows how much I ...

A.   10 June 2014: It takes time to really get to know someone. Talking with respect even if it's something you don't like to hear can help. Total honesty on matters that are unresolved and finding mutual ways to sort them out May work. Is there a problem with ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend is making me feel like a last priority

Q.   Hello , so my boyfriend works a lot. He usually works 5-6 days a week and they are usually 9-12 hour shifts. I don't get to see him a lot. Only on his 1 or 2 days off. We live an hour away from each other. I work too but at a more flexible job ...

A.   10 June 2014: Of his intentions and feelings for you were strong enough then wild horses wouldn't keep him away. Absence is supposed to make the heart grow stronger but he has got too complacent in this relationship. You seem a bit soft with him and he's taking ... (read in full...)

My past relationships have made me extremely insecure and I keep thinking that my B/f is going to cheat on me

Q.   I have a lovely boyfriend who i have been with for about 16 months. Hes a good man, he treats me well and does do his best. I couldnt not ask for anyone better. I do feel lucky. From past boyfriends i feel i have been extremely traumatised and i am ...

A.   10 June 2014: You can't live your life worrying about him cheating on you because you'll miss out on all the other nice things you can be sharing together. It could destroy your relationship over the long term not strengthen it. Show him that you know how to have ... (read in full...)

How can I avoid rejection in the future?

Q.   dear cupid,i suffer dissappointment in love when i was in university.although it is about 1year ago now i still suffer from it!i just really don't want to"are guys really like bad girls?my story is there is a boy in my class.he is very clever(always ...

A.   10 June 2014: Well done for achieving your results. You have to look at this situation like in the early days he already had a girlfriend. You say she always shouted at him and you wondered why he stayed with her. Well he didn't stay in that situation after all. ... (read in full...)

Starting life from scratch at age 28! How do I start?

Q.   What do you do if you realize you have to start from scratch at the age of 28. I got abused in my childhood and sadly I let it affect me my whole life by playing the victim mentality- always feeling sorry for myself and basically just coming off ...

A.   10 June 2014: You have done a lot of self analysing. Now it's time to take absolute full control of your destiny. Try enrolling into some adult education. Speaking from my own experience and in a much similar situation as yours it worked for me. It will give you ... (read in full...)

Would it be right for me to break up with my boyfriend of 7 months?

Q.   Would it be right for me if i broke up with my bf of 7 months? I dont knw but i am so confused. I love him so much, no doubt, and he is the reason why i am not double dating, but im really getting hurt. The worst aspect is dat he doesnt trust me, ...

A.   10 June 2014: Nothing sounds right here. I would suggest you move on now. You must follow your gut feeling and realise that your instincts are probably right and he is seeing other people behind your back. ... (read in full...)

I love him and I believe he loves me but I'm lost. Do I take him at his word or what?

Q.   Hi, I am a 25 year old mother of two from a previous relationship. I am with an amazing 21 year old who acts much older than his age. We've been together for almost a year, he tears my kids as they are his own. Now here is the problem, he's been ...

A.   9 June 2014: The fact that he didn't discuss it with you makes me think he is trying to get away without any hassle... Give him his wings. If he is serious he will come back to you. If y ou try to keep him with you at all costs eventually you will lose him ... (read in full...)

I love him and I believe he loves me but I'm lost. Do I take him at his word or what?

Q.   Hi, I am a 25 year old mother of two from a previous relationship. I am with an amazing 21 year old who acts much older than his age. We've been together for almost a year, he tears my kids as they are his own. Now here is the problem, he's been ...

A.   9 June 2014: The fact that he didn't discuss it with you makes me think he is trying to get away without any hassle... Give him his wings. If he is serious he will come back to you. If y ou try to keep him with you at all costs eventually you will lose him ... (read in full...)

My gf wants to see my best friends dick because he said it was big

Q.   Me and my girlfriend been togeder for 1 year and 3 mounts and stil counting and she and i have a best friend who is my friend since we were little. We once was talking about sex and my best friend told us that his dick is big and not so much girls ...

A.   9 June 2014: Wait until the day he finally gets going serious with a girl, then ask her. She'll tell you the truth... He sounds like he needs some confidence... You could always say to your girlfriend. 'His might be bigger than mine, but I know what to do with ... (read in full...)

I'm feeling lonely and unfulfilled right now!

Q.   Hello everyone. I'm graduating from college soon and going through job interviews. It's a normal part of life but I can't help but feel lonely these days. I have been busy studying and working throughout college. I've always been a private person ...

A.   9 June 2014: hi my son, was in a similar situation to you. He was a quiet person, shy. He then volunteered at a school sports club and helped the kids with their activities. His confidence grew so much, he started going to a gym, did a keep fit course, did ... (read in full...)

Fell in love with a guy at school, but we both have significant others

Q.   Am a varsity student.When I came to university,I met guy and fell in love with him.The problem is that I have a boyfriend back home(whom I have fallen out of love with him) and this guy I fell inlove with has a girlfriend back home too.So I don't ...

A.   9 June 2014: Under no circumstances have both of them. Someone will end up getting hurt in the long run and I can promise you, it will be you. Let the guy back home go free. You aren't doing him any favours hanging on to him for the sake of it. Find out if ... (read in full...)

I'm concerned that he doesn't make much effort to see me.

Q.   I’ve been dating this guy for about 2 months. We actually met at a Starbucks – I was working and he walked up to me and we started talking. At first, he seemed really interesting – he kept talking to me even after I gave him attitude for bothering ...

A.   9 June 2014: You've more or less answered this yourself. Deep down you know that the man you really want in your life will treat you like a queen. You shouldn't have to claw at a relationship, it should come natural with respect for each other, equally giving. ... (read in full...)

I cheated, feel guilty, feel remorse and don't know what to do!

Q.   I've been married for 5+yrs to Mr.Right.For some reasons though we were very compatible in every way, we were not happy in sex.3 years passed with busy life,sex was not very important between us.Later for no reason i started getting attracted to a ...

A.   9 June 2014: Trust me on this one. Concentrate on your marriage. You are partly to blame on the poor marriage because you are not giving 100 percent. If you cant try with your husband, then let him go. But marriages can be wonderful over time if you are ... (read in full...)

What did this kiss mean? And what is my next move?

Q.   Hi, after our 7th date together, my date kissed me, before we parted ways and although it was our first kiss shared, he decided to French kiss me and i was not expecting that, although i did enjoy our kiss very much. It was a little arkw...

A.   9 June 2014: Not sure how old you are. Sounds like you are young and or naïve. He obviously wants to take this further. Enjoy, see what follows. Hope this helps.... (read in full...)

I'm an ex but he doesn't remember!

Q.   i went on a date with an ex he didn't know it was me its been 14 years since we last saw each other and ive put on 3 stone and now he wants to see me again do I tell him the truth who I am or shall I just keep quiet ?...

A.   9 June 2014: Hi, yes just tell him, make him wait a little while into the date, see if his memory jogs. We all can change over time. He's obviously drawn to you in a subconscious way. You could also make him suffer for abandoning you the last time. you could ... (read in full...)

Do I throw away all the good things I have with him for some facebook/google searches?

Q.   I love my boyfriend very much. I've been with him near two years with plenty of commitment on his part. But my heart is breaking because he can't let go of his ex girlfriend from four years ago. I know that everyone says - don't be second choice...

A.   9 June 2014: Hi, I think this is quite a normal reaction with anyone really who've split from their partners after a few years. I think he could just be suffering from 'curiosity' to see how her life has panned out. He still cares in a way that he'd like to ... (read in full...)

Do I throw away all the good things I have with him for some facebook/google searches?

Q.   I love my boyfriend very much. I've been with him near two years with plenty of commitment on his part. But my heart is breaking because he can't let go of his ex girlfriend from four years ago. I know that everyone says - don't be second choice...

A.   9 June 2014: Hi, I think this is quite a normal reaction with anyone really who've split from their partners after a few years. I think he could just be suffering from 'curiosity' to see how her life has panned out. He still cares in a way that he'd like to ... (read in full...)

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