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Am so sexually frustrated that it's destroying me in mind, body, and soul.

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Question - (5 April 2024) 6 Answers - (Newest, 23 April 2024)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Please give me some advice about how to deal with sexual frustration. I cannot STAND it anymore, I am so sexually frustrated. I have morals, so casual sex is off the table. I need sex so bad that I can't freaking sleep.

I am a young woman. I got cheated out of my opportunity for marriage. My body aches with a young woman's needs. I'm not married, so I will never get to experience the tender pleasures of sweet sex. I will never know that delicious ache between my legs in the morning as I bask in the sweet breath of the man I love beside me in bed. I will never know that wave of heaven, the nexus of pleasure and pain, when I feel full and whole with a man inside me, where I moan and my toes curl.

I am craving sex so bad I cannot STAND it!!! I feel like my body and brain are being eaten up alive by fire ants.

I AM NOT propositioning ANYONE.

Is there some kind person who would be willing to write a story about me, where I experience intimacy with a beautiful man? Maybe there's another young woman, dealing with these issues, and we could write stories together about getting to experience all the things we can't in real life?

How do you gals deal with sexual frustration? Men are so scarce and so most of us never get married, and I don't know how other women deal with it. I BURN with passion. I am so sexually frustrated that I break down and cry every day, and I have chest pains at night.

I'm a good girl. I prayed to God to send me a beautiful, kind man to be a husband to me. But, God did not hear my prayers. I hate being single and celibate so much that I don't even want to talk to God anymore. I don't understand why, if God is real, he made me with a beautiful heart that longs to shower a man with love in marriage, but my prince never came, because he's not out there.

I need cuddles, tender kisses, sweet sex, and loving touch, and I can't stand that I will NEVER have that. Please don't let me cry myself to sleep. I cry myself to sleep EVERY night because I am starved for affection.

View related questions: celibate, sexually frustrated

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A female reader, Tinytina +, writes (23 April 2024):

Sex isn’t everything. It’s just a part of a loving relationship. Meeting someone who can go through life with you and the ups and downs is more important.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2024):

Thanks for taking the time to write to me.

I really must clarify that I don't want to find another man. I just don't know how to handle these feelings.

I don't feel right about getting into the details of my last relationship, but it will be my last one. I don't want to find anyone else. Hypothetically speaking, even if I did, I wouldn't want someone who is just nice and "good enough." That, to me, implies settling. I'm just too passionate to be complacent about a booby prize. Perhaps you didn't mean that. I just have a lot of tough feelings to deal with.

The problem I have is that I have a lot of passion, but I'm at odds with the bland vanilla life I live. Nothing makes my heart jump, and I crave passion.

I'm passionate about horses and music, and I long to have horse riding and playing in a band in my life. I don't want some "old lady" hobby like bird watching or cooking.

***Sigh*** I'm just so frustrated.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2024):

Sex isn't always great. Sometimes the man can't get an election or suffers from premature ejaculated. Sometimes the woman can't reach orgasm or the couple can't agree about what they like to do in bed. They argue about who will sleep on the wet patch. There are so many problems that come along with sex that life might be simpler without it. Once you do it, you become very vulnerable and can suffer a great deal emotionally. So please don't idealise sex. Look for ways your serial energy can find other ways of expression, such as sport or creative outlets.

If you still want to find a man you can, but if you're preoccupied with sex it could end up with somebody using you just for that.

Maybe find some new interests or hobbies to channel your imagination into.

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A female reader, mystiquek United States + , writes (5 April 2024):

mystiquek agony auntThere is an expression "god helps those who help themself". Are you just fantasizing about having a nice man or are you doing anything to make your dream come true? If you think a man is just going to drop into your lap he's not. Put yourself out there. Join clubs, get new hobbies, go places where you might be able to meet someone! Be careful but also have you tried any dating clubs? chatting online? Have you asked your friends, family if they know any nice guys? Honey...you've got to try to help yourself..writing a fantasy isn't really going to make you feel better. There are nice men out there..looking for someone sweet and kind. Not every man is taken. Both my mom and my mother in law had their husbands die in their 70's and both of them found a nice man..so trust me..if they can do it you can do. Nothing worth it usually comes easily but doing nothing sure as heck isn't going to get you anywhere. Have faith in yourself!

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (5 April 2024):

Fatherly Advice agony auntHonestly I think a lot of your problem is that you read too many stories. Writing you a new story will not help your situation, but perhaps a dose of reality will. You claim that Most women don't marry. A quick search finds that 78% of women in your reported age range have married at least once. that compares to 72% of men. Obviously there are single, never married men, your age out there.

I will tell you that at an age over 40 yo are not going to get the 6 x 6 x 6 deal in available men. Those men are all married to women who spent less time dreaming, and more time achieving.

Another bit of reality for you is that there are men, good solid men, who are getting divorced every day. If you are willing to consider a used model who is a bit under 6 feet tall you might find your life filled with opportunity.

If on the other hand all you need is another written fantasy for a night, Amazon sells those for almost nothing on the kindle unlimited subscription. I know my wife gets plenty. In fact they tend to read a lot like your post.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (5 April 2024):

Fatherly Advice agony aunttest

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