A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:TW: mental health concernsMy roommate confronted me while we were drunk the other day. She told me she went into my room "by accident while looking for me" and "accidentally" came upon my anxiety/depression medication. She said that because she's studying psychology at college, she knows what's wrong with me and told me that she always thought my life was perfect before looking through my room and finding this. She then pried into my life and I felt compelled to tell her some really private things even though I didn't feel comfortable.Now I've found out that she told her boyfriend and some others that I have depression and that I might harm or k*ll myself. She keeps insisting that she's worried about me. This is not true about me and I never told her such things. I went away over the winter break like everyone else and took longer to come back to take care of my mental health. When I came back I was welcomed by other people but she said in front of everyone "I thought you were dead." What should I do? Her insistence actually has the adverse affect that she claims she wants to have; it makes my mental health worse.She still continues to act weird, like she is my mentor or something. For instance, the other day I asked her to borrow scissors for my work, and she replied "what do you want to use them for?"Should I confront her? I don't want a huge drama. I don't know if she's doing this to be weird or is trying to be a friend and just comes off wrong.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2024): I am really sorry that happened to you! It doesn't matter if you're on psych meds, birth control, or anything else for that matter. NO ONE should go thru your things and make judgments. Especially someone who is acting like an armchair psychologist without asking if you want help! I think in her clumsy way she wants to help, but she's definitely not helping. Asking you "what are triggers and sign" MIGHT be useful bc my roommates noticed I was sleeping a lot and another one saw my scars from cutting and yhey did tell - but my situation was far more dangerous. Your situation sounds stabalized: regular meds and probably therapy.
Please, if you have a therapist, ask him or her what you can say to your roommate and how to set boundaries. Lock your things up if you gave to to feel secure. Again. I'm sorry that happened to you, your feelings are valid.
I agree with other posters that you need a new roommate asap
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2024): Whether she means well or not she really has invaded your privacy and told others things without consulting you. This shows a lack of respect. I would suggest you find a new roommate, tell her what effect this has had on you and suggest she stops making false assumptions. Loads of people take antidepressants, it's very common in fact a big part of the population has mental health problems.
If anyone asks why you changed room mates maybe you could say something like you didn't feel she respected your privacy.
Ask her why she did it and try to get an understanding of her motives so that hopefully you can forgive her and move on. Tell her you don't need protection from her and that you feel she has dramatised everything.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek  + ♥, writes (9 April 2024):
 She isn't a friend and you would be very wise to find a different room mate. She crossed the boundaries of trust in more ways than one. I'd get away from her ASAP. Definitely get a lock on your door or lock up anything that is personal. She has no respect for you. If she is in psychology then she should realize she just broke the oath by divulging your personal information!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (8 April 2024):
 I think you should look for a new room-mate the one you have is a toxic cow. But for now, get a lock on your door.
DO NOT divulge any private information or medical history, it's none of her business!
You mentioned " she's studying psychology at college" Wow, just wow. Doesn't she understand HiPa violations? For HER to talk to others about your medical history is insane if you want to work on the medical field.
Overall, I would look to move out ASAP - If you can last the school year and still be OK, do that and get a new roommate next year.
"I don't know if she's doing this to be weird or is trying to be a friend and just comes off wrong."
It is weird and not at all what a FRIEND would do. DUMP this person from your life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2024): Your roomie is a narcissistic manipulating, prying evil person. Who I can say as an RMN will do no good as psychologist and should never enter such remit .
Now what to do with her. The only way you are going to get her to back off . Is to laugh at any nonsensical verbiage that vomits from her mouth. Now you may not feel like laughing but believe me this will knock jer . Fake it ..until you make it . Practise laughing, watch yourself in a mirror . Laughing off her rubbish infant of others will disarm her .. if she starts spoting information you have told her, ie ..simply say ..gosh haven't you gotten it wrong. There are certain ssri that are also used as neurological pain relief - check what meds your on . And if she raises that they are for depression say .. yes and nerve pain .. don't explain ..
Don't give people bullets to fire at you . Noone needs to have your story . Just say no .. depression isn't a bad thing .. everyone can get muddled down, what you don't want is judgement and though I would say that shouldn't be the case .. it still is ..
Make sure you have family who will support you .
Don't tell anyone something that you don't want the neighbourhood or college to know .
Buckle up sweetie .. head high .. you can beat her .. just smile .. laugh .. shake your head and say example.. gosh .. don't I look good for being dead. Lol or wow you are lil morbid . She pushing you to get a reaction . Don't give her what she wants ..
Hugs sweetie
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