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Why does this couple act this way?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 July 2023) 3 Answers - (Newest, 18 July 2023)
A female Australia age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I really don't know what to think of these people's behavior. Can you help me make sense of it?

This couple live near me. I have said hello to the lady, just in passing, 3 times (in case she maybe hadn't heard me for some reason). Both her and her husband have quickly changed direction when they've seen me as well.

Ok, don't want to be social, I get it. Maybe she has social phobia, who knows. I'm a reserved person myself. I was only trying to make them feel welcomed in the area.

When I heard they went to the street party at Xmas, it felt more personal.. but how could it be? They don't know me at all.

Anyway, I stay out of their way and they surely have stayed out of mine. I've noticed though, twice lately, when the lady has been on her own, she's said hello as I've been getting in my car. Both times my back was turned and I just pretended I didn't hear her. When you've been ignored and snubbed so many times, it hurts.

Since they moved onto the street, I cannot count the number of times this couple have driven past my husband and I, in their full view, with their heads in the air and we'd been ready to give a friendly wave. These people have given every possible physical hint in human history that they have absolutely no interest in speaking to either of us.

So why would the woman, a year later, try to say hello twice? When they are together, they'll walk right past us, heads in the air, laughing loudly or bantering back and forth.

Why the inconsistency? If you go to all that trouble to avoid ever interacting with someone, why start speaking out of the blue? I'm used to ignoring them both. That's the way they clearly wanted it.

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy +, writes (18 July 2023):

Anonymous 123 agony auntWhy think about it enough to let it bother you? They're strange and you should just behave like they don't exist. I personally keep a safe distance from my neighbours and I have the same policy as Aunt Mystiquek. A quick nod and a "hi" but that's about it. My advice to you would be up not react or respond to these people when you see them.

Maybe the husband doesn't like interacting with anyone and the wife follows him when they're together to please him? We really don't know what goes in behind closed doors and some people are very weird but their behaviour is not about you. It's them.

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A female reader, mystiquek United States + , writes (17 July 2023):

mystiquek agony auntThe odds are that you are never going to know why they act as they do. I wouldn't waste my time worrying about it. Just assume that they are a little strange and forget it. I keep a polite but distant attitude with my neighbors. When seeing them I always nod and if they say good morning or some greeting then I give one too. I always wear a mask so no one can see my smile anyways but I always do nod. Just because they are rude you don't have to be too unless you just want to.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (17 July 2023):

kenny agony auntI guess its like people you work with, some people are sociable, and some are not, and some are just odd balls. I guess we can't choose our neighbours, just like we can't choose our work colleagues i suppose.

I would not dwell on it to much, for whatever reason they have decided to ignor you a few times, no can really speculate as to the reasons why, and you will drive yourself up the wall if you keep thinking about it.

I'm sure all the other neighbours are nice, so just accept that you have some odd neighbours.

I would just be the bigger person and always be polite and nice when you see then and just smile and say Hi then go about your business.

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