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People are like stained - glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
I've been on DC since 2007. I have seen just about everything you can imagine on here. I am a "softer" responder. I try to always give good advice with kindness. I genuinely want to help people and never want to hurt someone by the words I type since most people that come to DC are already hurting in some way.
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Will he toy with me?
Q. There’s this boy I like, let’s call him M. I met him through social media a year ago, and even if we live 400 km apart, I’ve managed to see him in person twice. We have talked a lot and have also sent nudes to each other. Then there is this ot...
A. 27 July 2022: Steer clear of him unless you just want some fun because he is a player and doesnt care about anything but having fun. He will use you and throw you aside like yesterdays trash if you allow him to do so. He wont treat you any differently than he did ... (read in full...)
Is this behaviour normal ?
Q. Is it normal for a guy to be in “love” with someone and start dating someone else within few days of a fight and completely giving up on their partner , saying they will try to be friends now. This guy I fell for had a fallout with me and got a ne...
A. 23 July 2022: Some people are that way. My ex husband has been married and divorced 5 times. I was wjfe #1. He had another girl pregnant before our divorce and got married 6 weeks after our divorce! I did not remarry for 3 years. He always had a back up chick. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend always tries to throw me out when I try to communicate my feelings
Q. Every time we have an argument my boyfriend grabs all my things and throws them all over the floor and puts them in bags by the door and tells me to get out. He grabs me by the wrist and hurts my wrist trying to drag me to the door. This happens ...
A. 19 July 2022: This is abuse. Do you know that? Why are you still with him?? He treats you terribly! You deserve better. Get out!... (read in full...)
Married unhappy and falling for another man
Q. Looking for advice Hi I am a married woman with two grown up children. My husband and I have been under pressure with various things going on I suspected he fancied other women at times which he didn't deny. We do try and work at out marriage.I a...
A. 17 July 2022: People fall out of love it happens. You dont trust your husband that certainly doesnt make love stronger. A big age difference can become a problem. Getting involved with someone else is not the answer though! It will just add more complications. ... (read in full...)
I am not sure if I am ready to see him
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm dating this boy Christian Bristol and we've been dating for almost 7 months and he's been telling me that he'll see me after he's done getting his truck fixed and he's also told me that he can't wait to see me. I don't know if I'...
A. 10 July 2022: Didnt finish post..
I was always feeling sad and used till I ended things.
The last relationship? He bacame my husband and we have been together for 20 years!! I am still madly in love with him and he seems to be with me. We are very happy t... (read in full...)
I am not sure if I am ready to see him
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm dating this boy Christian Bristol and we've been dating for almost 7 months and he's been telling me that he'll see me after he's done getting his truck fixed and he's also told me that he can't wait to see me. I don't know if I'...
A. 10 July 2022: I totally understand your situation. I have been involved in several ldr in my life. I was and still am very intrigued and fascinated by Japanese men and there,were nevwr any in my area so I wound up being in the long distance relationships. You are ... (read in full...)
My mistress is now my life partner but she is always worried I will cheat on her. How can I get her to finally trust me?
Q. I am going to need some help here. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 10 years. I met her as a married man, which is when we got involved. We both know having an affair was wrong so I won’t need critiquing on our past mistakes. We ...
A. 8 July 2022: Honestly? She may never fully trust you. I know its not what you want to hear but considering the way you started can you really blame her? Its probably guilt but its ingrained into her that you cheated to be together and if you did it once why ... (read in full...)
I can see you looking!"
Q. Hi community, so, this is my problem: I have a lovely gf for over a year now. Im Westerner and she is Vietnamese. We live Saigon. I am deeply in love with her, have proposed marriage, so, Im not playing around. She also loves me, I know that for...
A. 27 June 2022: You will wind up being miserable in a relationship like this. She does not trust you and has serious issues. You can try talking to her but she lost trust from a past experience and you are taking the blame. D... (read in full...)
Boyfriend lied about his age lost trust
Q. Hi So my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We have had alot of rough patches mostly because he's always asking me for financial help. Today however, I found out he's lied about his age for 3 years. He told me he was 5 years olde...
A. 25 June 2022: You cant trust him. If he lied about his age what else did he lie about? It may not be a big deal in all honesty but the seed of doubt has been planted and you cant shake it.Its sad to walk away from a 3 year relationship but that would be the smart ... (read in full...)
Wife is transitioning into man. Would I be horrible to get divorced?
Q. First, I want to make it clear I have nothing against trans people. I believe they deserve the same rights and courtesies as all cis-trans people. If I use incorrect terminology I sincerely apologize as I have zero intention to offend trans ...
A. 28 May 2022: No because the person you married is now a different person. I could not stay in a marriage like yours. It is very sad and I can only imagine how confused you must feel. Wish them the best, and end things as peacefully as possible.... (read in full...)
Older men. Daddy's
Q. Do many girls /women like older men, what is it thats such an attraction?...
A. 28 May 2022: I prefer men my age or a little younger. I married a man 10 years older than me. At first it was ok, but as we aged, the 10 years really made a difference. I wound up being his nurse at the end of his life because he had treated his body so badly. ... (read in full...)
I don't want to be an old dad
Q. MY wife is 33 and desperate for a baby but I’m 52 and don’t want to be an old dad. Is there any way around this? We’ve been married for three years and while she’s at a great age to have a baby, I’d be better as a grandad than a dad. When we ...
A. 25 May 2022: This is sad. I really dont see a happy ending. One of you are going to have to give in for things to work and that means that one of you will be unhappy, probably resentful. Its hard to say if your wife went into the marriage not wanting kids and ... (read in full...)
Does it ever get better?
Q. Hi everyone... So I posted on DC some time back... This was my original post: __________________ Hi there.... so i've been married for over 7 years and I must say I love my husband very much. We've had our ups and downs but we've got ...
A. 16 May 2022: Yes it will get better but its going to take time, it doesnt happen overnight. Give yourself the time to grieve for What has happened and what you are losing. Think of any breakup you experienced in the past. It hurt when things ended right? ... (read in full...)
Friend keeps going after the same men as me constantly!
Q. I have this "friend" and we have been quite close for 2 years now. It seems as though every time I start dating someone, or if I fancy a man, my friend has to either try to sabotage it by telling him bad things about me, or will try to seduce hi...
A. 14 May 2022: This woman is far from a friend. The best thing you can do is realize this and cut her out of your life. A true friend would never go after your man. ... (read in full...)
Should I forgive my parents for the trauma they've caused me?
Q. For the last couple of months, my relationship with my parents has been awful. Let me start with the fact that I was raised in a very chaotic and abusive house, however, things have been more calm for the last couple of years but still, my mom does ...
A. 30 April 2022: Try to find a way to be at peace with the past and forgive them. For YOUR sake. Holding onto anger and bitterness causes damage to your heart and mind. You cant change the past so why dwell in it?
I speak from experience. I had an incredib... (read in full...)
My boyfriend does nothing but watch loud women on tv
Q. Hi there, I would like to know what others think about my problem. Firstly I would like to make it clear that in no way am I a jealous person but I do have my own morals and standards. I have been with my partner for about 10 months. In th...
A. 25 April 2022: The best way is to be kind but firm. Just be honest. I was hoping we had a future together but I think we are too different. I can't see this working out and its not fair to be wasting each others time. Wise owl gave excellent advice ad always. ... (read in full...)
Needle play?
Q. My new boyfriend has introduced needle play and I'm wondering if anyone else has tried this. I am into new kinky things and actually enjoy needle play. He has done patterns on my belly, back, and my buttocks. It really is not that painful. He uses ...
A. 16 April 2022: Whew I guess I am really out of the loop I had no idea this was something that people do. I Would not want anyone near me with needles even my husband who is a doctor. Something for everyone I guess but this sounds like being tortured to me. ... (read in full...)
Should I go to the wedding of an ex best friend that I can't stand?
Q. I have a friend, Pamela, from highschool that I haven't seen in years. She wasn't a real friend, when I was being bullied, she prefered to stay friends with them and even acted as if she wasn't that close to me, which hurt me and I'm glad I went to ...
A. 10 April 2022: I agree with youcannotbeserious and honeypie. Shes not a friend so why are you agonizing over this? Stop letting her make you feel guilty because you dont like her. Just politely say no thanks. The wise aunts gave perfect excuses. Your ... (read in full...)
How can I negotiate us back to friends?
Q. I really wasn't sure how I was going to write this but I know this was a mistake that I wish I thought more about. I met a man from the Philippines online through a game we played together, we chatted on and off throughout the game and we beca...
A. 27 March 2022: Long distance friendship/romances are very easy to strike up but can be very difficult to maintain. You are very wise to not want to consider it serious until you have met, spent time Together and truly get to know each other. It is so easy to get ... (read in full...)
My husband has become overly fearful of Covid
Q. My partner has become more fearful of COVID now than during the lockdowns; we had three here in England, a fourth one didn't happen. He keeps getting agitated about even having to go out, doesn't want to go to a meal we'd been invited to, fear...
A. 19 March 2022: I am sorry for what you are both experiencing. Covid has turned the world upside down. It will never be the same. Never. Everyone has suffered in some way shape or form with dealing with Covid. Some people deal with it better than others.
I am ... (read in full...)
My teacher kiss me
Q. Hi, i am 15 and i was kissed by my teacher. He wrote a poem to me which i got confused about as a cooperation to write poem but it was a love letter. I don't know his age but he is the range of late 20's to early 30's he is a flirt he hugs some ...
A. 8 March 2022: Please tell your mom. The teacher is way out of line! Dont keep this to yourself. If he is acting this way now and you dont say something who knows what he might do to a child in the future. Dont be afraid I am sure your mom will know what do. That ... (read in full...)
Thank you to everyone
Q. We've all been through a lot these past two years, some more than others. We've had the pandemic, lockdowns, toxic news, job losses and business closures, personal tragedies and the like. During this, many people have given their time and energy ...
A. 17 February 2022: A lovely post Ciar. The whole world as changed so much and every single person has had to adjust. Its really been a rough 2 years and we have all suffered losses in some way shape or form. Many have had to fight through anxiety, frustration and ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my mom that I am dating her friend?
Q. I’m a 31-year-old guy, single, normal dating history. A few months ago, a friend of my mom’s called me and asked if I’d like to get together for coffee. I had met her at my mom’s house a couple of weeks prior and we had a nice talk. I thought ...
A. 29 January 2022: Tell you mom. Dont make her find out through gossip. Its far better to hear it from you. Its hard to say how she will react. You know her we dont. I have a son your age and if he started dating a friend of mine that was my age, I would be kind of ... (read in full...)
Is there anything my husband and I can do to help our sons?
Q. I have two sons. John who is 39 years old and Rob who is 37 years old. I always thought that my sons were close. Rob is gay and has been officially together for 12 years (dating for five years, married for 7 years). But they have been friend...
A. 28 January 2022: As a parent I can easily how much this situation between your sons hurts you. You just want them to make up and be brothers again. Sadly ad they are adults you can not force them to kiss and make up. Both of them behaved badly in different ways and ... (read in full...)
Is there anything my husband and I can do to help our sons?
Q. I have two sons. John who is 39 years old and Rob who is 37 years old. I always thought that my sons were close. Rob is gay and has been officially together for 12 years (dating for five years, married for 7 years). But they have been friend...
A. 28 January 2022: As a parent I can easily how much this situation between your sons hurts you. You just want them to make up and be brothers again. Sadly ad they are adults you can not force them to kiss and make up. Both of them behaved badly in different ways and ... (read in full...)
Is there anything my husband and I can do to help our sons?
Q. I have two sons. John who is 39 years old and Rob who is 37 years old. I always thought that my sons were close. Rob is gay and has been officially together for 12 years (dating for five years, married for 7 years). But they have been friend...
A. 28 January 2022: As a parent I can easily how much this situation between your sons hurts you. You just want them to make up and be brothers again. Sadly ad they are adults you can not force them to kiss and make up. Both of them behaved badly in different ways and ... (read in full...)
Things went downhill after I complimented her on her 'hour glass' figure
Q. I recently moved here from Scotland. I met a really attractive and intelligent woman at a party a few weeks ago. It was a public event at an art gallery. She was a high-school teacher in her early 30s. We had been talking for a good half-hour and ...
A. 7 January 2022: You meant it as a compliment but after only 30 minutes making that type of a remark to basically a stranger came across as getting way too personal way too soon. Send a short email with an apology but honestly dont expect much back. I am afraid your ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I haven't spoken in two weeks
Q. I have been with my partner over four years though we have had many ups and downs, primarily because I feel he doesn't want commitment. He says he is committed to me, wants no one else yet he doesn't want marriage and evades the topic of moving in ...
A. 25 December 2021: It doesn't seem like you two want the same things. You can love someone but they are not right for you. It sounds like cracks in your relationship ate getting eidet. You have not spoken in 2 weeks and passed on the street and did not speak? It ... (read in full...)
I am in love with my sister
Q. Hi, please can I get advise, first no I’m not a troll, I’m genuinely after advise so if your not going to take me serious then don’t comment! I’m 33yo and I’m in love with my 38yo sister and have been for about 18 years, I’ve had serious relation...
A. 14 December 2021: Open if your post is real then my heart goes out to you. Its terrible to love someone knowing that you can never act on your feelings and even worse to have feelings that you know are not considered right by almost all society. I think you know not ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend had sex with my friend bought a plan B from pharmacy. How do I talk to her? She doesn't know that I know
Q. My partner and I have been together for 2 years now, and it's been pretty great. But in the last year our sex life started to be less frequent. We've been playing some kinky games in the last number of months, where she would talk about her flirting...
A. 1 December 2021: If I were you I wouldn't want to talk to except say "Goodbye". You can slice it any way you want to but she cheated on you right under your nose, then left the evidence basically right under your nose. That isn't last be OP. That looks far more low ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend loves drugs and alcohol
Q. My bf is madly inlove with alcohol and also,takes drugs but at minimal Ive tried talking sense into him He doesn`t care!...
A. 28 November 2021: He isn't putting you first. People can change but normally they change because they want to, not be sure someone wants them to. One of the worst mistakes a person in a relationship can make is to think they can change someone. He's made his choices ... (read in full...)
My husbands children are rude and mean
Q. I live with my husband My son whose 14 and my husband son who is 12.... my son is severely disabled... My husband has older children in their 20s and they are always crude when we see them we carnt do right for wrong the last meeting we took the...
A. 23 November 2021: Op this is sad. You need to stand up for your children and yourself. I am confused. Do they do this in front of your husband? I rather doubt it but not totally clear to me. Become a mama tigress. Do not allow those brats to attack your cold or you. ... (read in full...)
How to deal with uncomfortable personal questions at work?
Q. I am asking for further guidance on a work related situ. I am a 30 year old female who has recently started a new job in the health service, I have an approachable management team. I am saving up to move out of parents household and I desire t...
A. 16 November 2021: Some people at work are just bored and like to be nosey. They ask questions that are not any of their business. I worked with a woman like that. Every morning she would come into my office plop her butt down and start almost what felt like an ... (read in full...)
My wife won't go topless at a nude brach
Q. my wife and I have been to nude beaches and she likes looking at nude men and I would like her to take herr top off but she refuses...I don't understand why...
A. 16 November 2021: The odds are she doesn't feel comfortable. Why can't you just accept her decision? You do your thing let her do hers. Respect how she feels and let it go. Keep the peace.... (read in full...)
My wife's obsession over bills and no sex has lead me to having an affair
Q. I'm a 33 year old man who's been married for 5 years. I am writing in embarrassed but I caused the problem and don't know how to get out. I've been having an affair with a 24-year-old woman since September and this has all been because of my ...
A. 16 November 2021: The pandemic has done so much damage to people in so many ways. All of us try to cope and some of us don't do ad well as others. Perhaps this is what has happened to your wife.
I am already a very nervous anxious person. The pandemic has made Mr ... (read in full...)
He only asked if I wanted a drink but I was horrible to him
Q. I feel really guilty because I was pretty horrible to a guy who gets the same bus as me every day after work. I’d gotten the feeling that he liked me as he’d give me all these glances as we stood at opposite ends of the bus stop each time and then ...
A. 12 November 2021: Yes you should apologize. I doubt if he will ever look at you in quite the same way again but its the decent thing to do. Keep in mind he was decent and didn't deserve you being so harsh. He may avoid you like the plague and won't give you a chance ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend hired a maid to clean his house now can't afford her and wants me to pay
Q. Hello and thanks My bf and I have been together for a year. He hired a maid to clean his house and now can't afford to pay her. He asked if I could help. I don't even have a maid. I'm surprised, hes healthy and quite capable of cleaning his ...
A. 18 October 2021: Your boyfriend sounds like a spoiled brat. I'd tell him to either stop being so messy or find another job to pay for his maid. In no way shape or form should you pay for his cleaning service or anything else for that matter just because he thinks ... (read in full...)
He told me I was fatter than he expected years later
Q. I've been in a relationship with a man for 3 years now (me: 23f, him 24m). Our first date is a precious memory for me. We were talking online for weeks before we met because he was out of town at the time, and met up at a small restaurant. He was so ...
A. 16 October 2021: A lesson I've learned over the last 60 years...never ask a man a question that you don't really want the answer to unless you really are prepared for what he says. Men have a tendency to just be point blank and say exactly what they mean. Women will ... (read in full...)
I just found out my boyfriend use to be a sissy in high-school
Q. I recently discovered that my bf of 1.6 years was a huge sissy back in high school like super feminine. I found from some of his old female friends when I attended his high school reunion with him a few nights ago. They even said he never had a ...
A. 13 October 2021: Perhaps you are overthinking this? You can't believe everything that those women said. I'd put far more trust and weight into how he is now, how he treats you then the talk of some people you barely know. People do change and it was quite awhile ago ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend preoccupied with hobbies neglecting other things
Q. I just moved in with my girfriend and this is what i observe: she spends most hers days gardening or doing craft then doing nessesary everyday things like making dinner or cleaning. This is the situation: I moved into her house, i pay her ...
A. 6 October 2021: Sorry to say but this is a situation where you leaped before you looked. Apparently you didn't know how she lived or you had not seen her home? She is happy doing her thing, living her life and the neatness of her home isn't a high priority for her. ... (read in full...)
Am I been over sensitive?
Q. Am I been over sensitive? My boyfriend of 5 month is constantly hanging up on me in mid flow of a conversation. We can be talking on the phone and he just says bye I’ve got to go and hangs up. It’s really annoying and I have ended up telling...
A. 30 September 2021: I'm sorry I don't really get what the big deal is. He says goodbye, I have to go. Its not like he just hangs up without saying anything! I can't tell you how many times my husband and I have had to do this to each other. We call each other at work ... (read in full...)
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