A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My workplace paid for myself and a colleague to a spa day last week as we were the top 2 in our team with the highest sales records. Often they treat staff members who have hit target with things like this and this was both our first time.Unfortunately my colleague is one of those “Debbie downers” I’ve worked with her for over 2 years and the woman just likes to complain about everything!Anyway I picked her up and we headed to our spa day - she was already moaning about how it was an early start (it was 8am)! The spa was lovely, the staff were friendly and I thoroughly enjoyed my treatments. However “Debbie downer” had various issues with her treatments which she complained about the entire time. We also had lunch - which was included in and paid for by the company. Around 4pm we decided to get a smoothie each - which were delicious. About an hour later we decided to leave and as we signed out we were given a bill for our 2 smoothies. My colleague immediately kicked off, saying that the whole day was already paid for. The staff explained our treatments and lunch were included but our smoothies weren’t. Debbie downer decided to raise her voice saying that she hadn’t bought her purse therefore couldn’t pay and insisted the staff member call our workplace to rectify this. I was so embarrassed by the whole thing- she was making a scene. I paid for both our smoothies - honestly they weren’t even expensive!When we got in the car she had a go at me for paying saying we could have got them free if we stuck to our guns!Honestly I was more stressed out after this spa day than before!!! I couldn’t wait to get her home so I could get some peace!! The following day I actually called the spa to apologize for my colleague’s behavior. Fortunately I’ve been working off site since this happened so I’ve not had to see her but I know later this week when I go to the office she will be in and my manager will ask how our spa day went- do I tell our manager how rude she was? I’m concerned because it could look bad for our workplace as it was booked under the company and her behavior was completely unacceptable and unprofessional!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2023): Say you had a nice time and forget about it. If you put someone else down, even if it's justified, it will probably only end up looking bad for you. Just tell them you enjoyed it and put the experience behind you. If it ever happens again, ask your boss if you can go on a day by yourself or explain that you'd rather take a friend and split the bill.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2023): I was tempted to say no, keep shtum as you may come across as pety, however if it was me genuinly, I would speak to my manager privately and let them know that you felt the need to call and apologise the next day - it was that bad. I'd only do this to make the point to not put you on a spa day or any other relaxation day with this one.
You colleague having a go at you in the car was probably more that she was embarrased than anything and wanted you to back her up to save her embarrasment. I'm guessing she was embarrased at being caught infront of you without cash. That's not your problem. She should know better. I mean, who goes anywhere without their bank card these days or atleast £10 in their pocket?
Good on you for staying positive for remaining professional. I'm sorry that you didn't get to enjoy the experience however thank your lucky stars it was paid for and you didn't pay for it yourself. Now that would hurt.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek  + ♥, writes (27 September 2023):
 I can see two ways of handling this. Ask to speak to your manager in private and explain things and tell them that you had a good time but the co worker made things uncomfortable. or, if the two of you are together, you could say "Well I certainly did but Debbie didn't seem to...." and trail off and see what happens. The first scenario is better because in the 2nd one you are sort of throwing her under the bus. I would NOT talk down about her where she will know its you though because who knows how long you will have to work with her?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (27 September 2023):
 I would go talk to your manager IN PRIVATE about her behavior.
Thank him for the spa day and also inform him that should you EVER "win" a spa day again, you will NOT want to go with HER.
Yes, her behavior reflects BADLY on your company so YES, I would tell him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2023): Everybody knows what she is like, but if you start going around complaining, you will be te one spreading teh negative vibe.
Next time when you get a voucher, use it on your own. I'm sure that nobody at work would mind, since they know her.
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A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (26 September 2023):
 To be perfectly honest i would not mention it when you go back and your manager asks how it went, as you say it could go against you and look bad for the workplace.
Where ever you go in life you are always going to come across a Debbie Downer of some description. Its rather unfortunate that you had to endure the pain of her moaning on your spa day.
I think maybe if you knew what she was like you could of let her make her own way there, and you go there on your own. At least this way you would not have had to listen to her moaning on the journey.
Maybe you could of limited your interaction with her at the spar, maybe easier said than done i know.
Its done now, so just put this down to experience and learn from this. If by some chance you both get his award again maybe you can pre-plan things and do things differently.
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