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... Send Butterflyfly a private message | | | Butterflyfly's profile:I am a 27 yrs old woman who loves anything related to frienship - common projects, getting to know other people, getting to know more about other people, understanding the misterious ways of human mind. I live in London and I've had 3 major changes of career until now , which is a bit unsettling -the first career started when i was 12. At present I am passionate about wines and learning about them as much as i can. Although I've had an unsettled life, I don't regret anything that I've done and any decisions that I've taken. I love to feep a diary with all my important experiences. I hope to live until im 148 and if I'm still lucid to re read my life's adventures and reflect on them. I am a bit of an eccentric and I get enthusiastic quickly. But i'm the most down to earth person I know as well. Or a chicken.
I love music - all kinds and i recently have discovered classical music- Beethoven , oh my god! Divine...
I'm also an ex-smoker - very proud of it, because ciggies have been a very comforting company for a long time..and now i can do without them. And the coughs.
I love sports and I'm into running long distances. I am inlove with the volleyball game. It's like quick chess. It's the best game ever to keep you on your toes mentally and physically. I believe i've drawn all my life's skills from playing volleyball to a high level until --well, some time ago.
I love talking about myself BUT!! I also love to listen to other people and find out how they work.
When I get down or moody or lonely I try to make myself laugh. If i dont succeed, I know it's a serious problem and seek advice from friends.
Jeez i could go on and on.
Oh. something else.
If i was granted 3 wishes, i will not want to have a magic wand again. I would like instead:
1.friends. more friends.
2.being in touch with myself at all times
3. better time management, or equally a 25 hour day |
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Can you love someone if you've cheated on them?
Q. Can you love someone if you've cheated on them??? Will the relationship work out??? Well see I cheated on my newest boyfriend with my ex-boyfriend.I'm in love with my ex but i love my boyfriend.He's the best thing boyfriend I've had in like ...
A. 10 April 2008: Not judging you in any way but i personally dont think it's love for them you feel i think it's more like your need to be loved and wanted by them. try to put yourself in their shoes, if you can. Would you be happy with that kind of messy 'love' ... (read in full...)
He dumped me... will he ever come back?
Q. my boyfriend of 4 yrs just broke up with me almost a week ago he said it was because I kept on accussing him and he was tired of always going to sleep mad I tried to get him back and I started crying and he said he was not going to call me anymore ...
A. 10 April 2008: I got dumped last night after 4-5 years on and off and I am in shock, I didn't see it coming. Basically all the reasons a man dumps a woman: relationships from the very very distant past, cheating, flirting with other men ( although I put my money ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is really bossy and overbearing-what should I do?
Q. my boyfriend is really bossy and overbearing, he constantly tells me what he thinks is the right way to do things, and if it is not done like this then i am wrong. i am always changing how i do things to make him happy. but he always seems to find ...
A. 30 December 2007: Confront him, don't be too soft, let him know what you don't like about his behaviour, nice and clearly. If this doesn't work well , you'll have the answer for yourself. All the best xxx.... (read in full...)
My friend just doesn't put in the efforts to our friendship..advice?
Q. Hi My friend is being really annoying. Whenever i ask her if she wants to meet up, she is 'busy'. But her definition of busy is sitting at home or going to her dad's house. She's great when i do see her, and a good mate, but i wish she would ju...
A. 30 December 2007: Well tell her what you have told us.. And also find some more friends, dont depend and rely just on her attention. All the best.... (read in full...)
How do I choose between my boyfriend and staying with my parents who need my help and support?
Q. hello, I love both of my parents, and I hate to see my mom work so hard for so little money. I want to help her by opening up a busisness; but I am currently on a long distance relationshp and I am kind of stuck in the middle. I want to help my ...
A. 29 December 2007: YOu answered yourself,when you said you are not sure whether he is worth enough to leave your family behind. I understand your need for 'freedom' and doing new things in life and having a good relationship with your boyfriend, but is he really the ... (read in full...)
My bf stays until late at his best friend's house and he ignores me when she is around. I heard her saying she loves him. Ideas?
Q. My boyfriend stays at his best friends house until like 3 a.m. and hes always ignoring me when hes around her. Its like when she around i dont exist. I cant stand him hanging around her 24-7. She one time said i love you baby to him and boy i filled ...
A. 28 December 2007: talk to him, see what he says. don;t torment yourself, only judje by what he says and does AFTER he knows how much this issue upsets you.... (read in full...)
Humans before pets no matter what?
Q. My guy hates my cat, and told me that I can't take him with us when we buy a house. He's not allergic to the cat, and the cat hasn't done anything bad or been mean at all. He just thinks my cat is annoying. I had the cat before I meet him. Should...
A. 28 December 2007: I think he is a bit unfair, especially if he is not allergic to cats or he hasn't had horrible experiences with them in the past to find them scary or repulsive etc. But just saying he finds them 'annoying', is that all!?!? If he hasnt taken into ... (read in full...)
I really want a bf but boys only ever notice my friend.
Q. I have this friend who is stunning, confident and flirty and all the boys fancy her. Trouble is, they don't notice me. And she can be a bit slutty too. Last night she had a party, there were two hot guys there and , surprise surprise, she spent th...
A. 23 December 2007: go out with somebody else :). or even better, try to be more confident with yourself. you seem like you look up to your 'stunning' friend but you are probably stunning in different ways, you might have more interesting things to do and say. if ... (read in full...)
I really want a bf but boys only ever notice my friend.
Q. I have this friend who is stunning, confident and flirty and all the boys fancy her. Trouble is, they don't notice me. And she can be a bit slutty too. Last night she had a party, there were two hot guys there and , surprise surprise, she spent th...
A. 23 December 2007: go out with somebody else :). or even better, try to be more confident with yourself. you seem like you look up to your 'stunning' friend but you are probably stunning in different ways, you might have more interesting things to do and say. if ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is a stripper and it is driving me crazy!! Is lap dancing to be considered cheating? I don't want to loose her, how do I deal with this?
Q. heres my question im in love with a woman who ive been with for the last three years on and off, we are talking again. the problem is that she is a stripper. i have mixed feelings about the whole thing, she has quit for me in the past but this tim...
A. 23 December 2007: what leanne has said fits in with what i know about strippers. i have a very good friend who is a stripper and to her her job is her job, she is extremely professional about it. she's 'catering' for a gullable crowd of men and sells a fantasy. every ... (read in full...)
I seem unable to organize my room and I feel like I'm unconciously choosing to leave it messy, what is wrong with me, is it a mental disease or something?
Q. Is there like a mental disease or something happening to me? I'ts been more than a year now and I can't seem to get my room organized. I'm an adult, I graduated for college and all and I live with my parents. I have my own room which is quite small ...
A. 23 December 2007: i was a spoiled brat when living with my parents, my mum effectively catered for me. i had the same problem when i was living on my own, i think you nailed it, it;'s about motivation. if you don;t see any good coming out of it that will please you, ... (read in full...)
I'm worried she will be scared after our chat about the future.
Q. Me and my girlfriend have only been together a month and yesterday we were talking about out futures, she told me what she wanted out of life and i told her what i wanted, but then we ended up talking about kids..... which i thought was too soon. ...
A. 23 December 2007: if she said she wasnt' scared then i think she wasn't.if she didn;t intend to be with you she would set the boundaries straight away and told you to forget about it cos it's too soon for talks like that. to her it must feel like a vote of confidence ... (read in full...)
He's black, I'm white and my parents are racist! What should I do?
Q. A while ago a guy in my class started flirting with him. But cos guys at school never flirt with me a did not believe it and always took it as a joke. We have been chatting on a local chat site alot and have gotten to know him and start gettin...
A. 22 December 2007: please dont stop relationships only because of pressure form other people!! your parents will present you with only the negative repercusions of your future with him, if they are racists! in these days society is very very diverse and there are ... (read in full...)
A Christmas present adequate for a recently started relationship?
Q. So I have been with my bo for about a month now and he is quite the sweetheart. I really want to do something special for him as a Christmas present, but I don't want it to be something too serious, but I also don't want it to be lame or cheesy ...
A. 22 December 2007: You can get away with anything general,because you've only know him for a little while, enough to justify a christmas present. So don;t be afraid of being 'cheesy', i;m sure he will appreciate your thought. Men' fragrance, maybe something funny, or ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to ask a guy out??
Q. Is it wrong to ask a guy to go out with you or should you just keep it old fashioned? ...
A. 30 November 2007: No, it's quite empowering to ask a guy out. It puts you i control. Even if he says no, you'll see you won't die, just like many many guys dont get devastated when they are refused. If anyting, you'll learn to look at the fun side of it and you can ... (read in full...)
I know they're lying - what is going on?
Q. I think that my husband of 5 yrs may have cheated on me.I found text messages on his phone from this girl we know from the pub where we drink.The messages where sexual in nature and quite graphic.When i asked him about it he said that they were just ...
A. 3 November 2007: i think he is not being honest to you. can he even explain that text to you? oh dont tell he just can;t remember! make a move first get yourself emotionally and physically out of this relationship .nobody deserves being deluded and lied to. im ... (read in full...)
I want to lose weight but don't want to be muscular . . .
Q. i want to loose weight. im eating good and exercising. but i dont want muscles to show but i want to loose weight off my legs but i think the only way of doing that is to exercise but then i wont have lady like looking legs. help...
A. 8 October 2007: WHat fit and slim ladies have you seen around that are 'bulked up', really muscular? Unless you are on a specific training program for developing muscles size ( like the body-builders), or muscle power ( like the proffessional sports players), you ... (read in full...)
Does anyone else think this guy is taking things too fast?
Q. Hi! Sorry...this may be a bit long but I just want to give everybody a bit of bakground info :) I met this amazing guy over the summer. Let me start by stating that I’m 24 and he’s 22, so this isn’t some high school summer love. He was just pass...
A. 29 September 2007: I agree with rcn. Spot on.... (read in full...)
Why do people stay with someone they don't love?
Q. just a quick question. Why do people stay with some if they are not in love with them? I have a female friend who lives with her partner but wont leave him even though she doesnt love him and a male friend who lives with his girlfriend of 12 years ...
A. 23 September 2007: rhythmandblues i love your answer. it's stunning and so true. ... (read in full...)
Can someone who is in love cheat on you?
Q. my byf cheated on my but says it was a mistake and he really loves me. I wont take him back. Is it possible that someone who is in love with you could cheat on u? i reckon he's lieing about his feelings cus the other girl didnt want him in the end. ...
A. 23 September 2007: But loving or being inlove with someone is such a special feeling that would make easy any decision regarding doing intimate stuff with someone else! I believe that if you love someone or even fancy them very much you couldn't just fool around with ... (read in full...)
Would getting in shape and getting a job make me more attractive?
Q. Looking for a womans advice here... I'm not in the best of shape (I'm not fat, but I ama bit above average), and I'm unemployed atm, I was wondering if I would appear more attractive to women if I got into bettr shape and landed myself a job. ...
A. 13 September 2007: Any man that shows he has a good degree of control over his life and that he can take good care of himself is very attractive!!!... (read in full...)
I have no interests anymore, and no motivation. Please help!
Q. Hello everyone, I need some help from anyone willing to give me advice. In the past I have made many bad decisions in life. My parents have never been a very good influence in my life at all, and still aren't, and I have not many friends, as I move ...
A. 11 September 2007: Uff there is so much to say about the meaning of life.. to cut my long story short, the shortest i can i will say the meaning of life is what we want it to be... you have to discover what makes you happy, or you have to discover how it is to be ... (read in full...)
Would you stay in a relationship for convenience?
Q. Hi aunts, I would like your opinion on this question please. Would you stay in a relationship for convenience? My asshole of a husband has been committing adultery for the last 3 years and constantly lies to me, I don't know why because I always ...
A. 6 September 2007: gather evidence for his abuse on you. talk to friends or acquaintances and drop subtle hints that things are dangerous for you at home. keep a diary ( online or well hidden in hour home) with your daily activities and interractions withim, ... (read in full...)
Is falling in love with someone..a want or a decision?
Q. Do you fall in love because you want to, because at some level in your mind you decide to do it, or do you fall in love exclusively because of the effect you think someone else has on you? ...
A. 6 September 2007: I agree with the last post.... (read in full...)
I am so in love with two differant girls. Neither is interested, but they are both so perfect in differant ways.
Q. Hi there! I won't name the girls I'm in-love with so I'll only put the first letter of their names. I have so much in common with E, me and her always have endless conversations for hours together but she cheats, lies and betrays so I don't trust ...
A. 6 September 2007: Meet more girls and see if you're still attracted so much by these two! Neither of these two seems up for a relationship with you.... (read in full...)
I am so in love with two differant girls. Neither is interested, but they are both so perfect in differant ways.
Q. Hi there! I won't name the girls I'm in-love with so I'll only put the first letter of their names. I have so much in common with E, me and her always have endless conversations for hours together but she cheats, lies and betrays so I don't trust ...
A. 6 September 2007: Meet more girls and see if you're still attracted so much by these two! Neither of these two seems up for a relationship with you.... (read in full...)
How do I know when people hate or dislike me? Do I look at their reactions, gestures, or body movements? I can't tell? help please!
Q. How do I know when people hate or dislike me? Do I look at their reactions, gestures, or body movements? I can't tell? help please!...
A. 6 September 2007: Why would anyone hate you? WHy would anyone dislike you? WHat is so bad about you, in your opinion? I think that's the place where you need to dig first before second guessing all the world....... (read in full...)
How do I know when people hate or dislike me? Do I look at their reactions, gestures, or body movements? I can't tell? help please!
Q. How do I know when people hate or dislike me? Do I look at their reactions, gestures, or body movements? I can't tell? help please!...
A. 6 September 2007: Why would anyone hate you? WHy would anyone dislike you? WHat is so bad about you, in your opinion? I think that's the place where you need to dig first before second guessing all the world....... (read in full...)
I just want to know why my girlfriend doesn't know when she reaches climax...
Q. I just want to know why my girlfriend doesn't know when she reaches climax, she always say "I don't know if I'm done or not" That makes me crazy. What is this and what can I do to make her feel that sweet thing?...
A. 6 September 2007: yeah duce is right, get creative and give her a 'mental' orgasm too, one that would take her by surprise and like duce00 said again, 'knock her socks off' :):):):).i wonder what HE has in mind!!!!! lol ::):):)... (read in full...)
Would you stay in a relationship for convenience?
Q. Hi aunts, I would like your opinion on this question please. Would you stay in a relationship for convenience? My asshole of a husband has been committing adultery for the last 3 years and constantly lies to me, I don't know why because I always ...
A. 6 September 2007: I agree with Mandy, be clever, get some space in your mind to think things through, do your homework, and aim high. If you;re determined and keep your cool you can get the best deal for you and your kids. Start gathering some infortmation and advice ... (read in full...)
Would you stay in a relationship for convenience?
Q. Hi aunts, I would like your opinion on this question please. Would you stay in a relationship for convenience? My asshole of a husband has been committing adultery for the last 3 years and constantly lies to me, I don't know why because I always ...
A. 6 September 2007: I agree with Mandy, be clever, get some space in your mind to think things through, do your homework, and aim high. If you;re determined and keep your cool you can get the best deal for you and your kids. Start gathering some infortmation and advice ... (read in full...)
I feel that most people out there are going to hurt me in some manner. Please advise...
Q. I feel quite at distance from my emotions and people in general. I want to stay away from getting hurt as much as possible and i feel that most people out there are going to hurt me in some manner. Please advice......
A. 6 September 2007: I feel that if you're too cautious not to get hurt , you're only building yourself up a solid mental prison form which is hard to escape.. take the risk of getting hurt, go through that learning process, open yourself up to more people, see if it's ... (read in full...)
She says she needs time, but says she loves me
Q. She says she needs Time, buts says she loves me I was going out with this girl for a couple of months, now i no that it doesn't seem like a long time but we just clicked. We stated talking on myspace, then i was over her house the next day. we did...
A. 6 September 2007: to put your mind at peace, give yourelf a time frame, a couple of months or so, in which you play her tune. after that if things are still a mess between you two, you can hand on heart move on with all the questions answered for you. ... (read in full...)
She says she needs time, but says she loves me
Q. She says she needs Time, buts says she loves me I was going out with this girl for a couple of months, now i no that it doesn't seem like a long time but we just clicked. We stated talking on myspace, then i was over her house the next day. we did...
A. 6 September 2007: Definately give her time and let her know you support her and you understand her problems. it's not like she's given you a silly excuse for taking it easy. it sounds she has a lot on her plate now BUT, even so, she decided to let her know she has ... (read in full...)
How do we bring the spark back into our relationship?
Q. My boyfriend of over a year just recently told me that he doesn't feel anything when we kiss anymore. However, he doesn't want to break up with me. We're best friends, I'm crazy about him, and we love each other deeply. Neither of us can see ...
A. 6 September 2007: by not worrying about it, and enjoying your time together and have enough strenght to accept that after all things could go in a zillion directions and you may fall out, but meanwhile enjoy eachother and get creative and cheecky, try out new things ... (read in full...)
Is it common for people to stay in touch with their ex's like this? Should I stop being a fool and do something about it?
Q. I love my boyfriend very much but I am so afraid he is going to leave me. He and his ex have a very messy past and I know he talks to her all the time. I try not to let it bother me, but it really does. I don't understand why he needs to talk ...
A. 6 September 2007: The ex is, beyound everything, is a very very familiar person, that has been an important part of our lives. Some split up couples can keep contact based on a platonic friendship. The hting with these platonic friendhips is that many things in them ... (read in full...)
My guy is going through a tough divorce and is saying we're now taking a break. Was I just a passing fancy or should I just wait it out?
Q. I'm 28 years old and have been seeing this guy for about 4 months. When we first started going out he told me that he was int he middle of a divorce. The soon to be ex and him seemed to have an okay relationship for the sake of the kids. When we ...
A. 3 September 2007: He could be lieing to you that the divorce is that devastating or he could be tellign the truth. in my experience divorce, even on the most peaceful terms, is still a very very sad experience. I think you should take it as a break, there is not ... (read in full...)
Still living with my ex and want to move on, but my new boyfriend hasnt suggested we live together
Q. Hello beautiful people, please help me to see the truth, here is my problem…… I am divorced for one year but still living with my husband. We have been unhappily married for 3 years. It’s a camaraderie relationship with no other feelings involve...
A. 31 August 2007: Thank you for your input, somewhat anonymous. You shed a positive light over my dilemma and that's nice since I am always prone to assume the worst things. Perhaps it's not the time yet to move in together, like you say. BUt we have been around ... (read in full...)
Should I wait around or should I just leave and forget about him?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have lived together for about 2 years. I love him dearly, and we have had some trust issues lately. He has lied to me a few times about dumb things so it made me be a little paranoid. He doesn't like the fact that I snoop through ...
A. 31 August 2007: Walk out... not it;s his time to do a bit of good convincing,, if he is worth his salt and really wants you, that is. If he fails at it, then you nkow for sure you were right to back off. Take care x... (read in full...)
How can I tell if he's cheating on me when he lives 40 minutes away?
Q. Hi I am currently in a relationship and he lives about 40 minutes away from me. We get to see each other about once a week and speak by text quite frequently. We have just booked a trip away together and he tells me he likes me all the time but I ...
A. 31 August 2007: Hi i've been in a similar situation. just sniffed somehting was dodgy to me and i HAD to test the guy. Have a look at my question 'tested my boyfriend with a mistery admirer... and he's arranged a date with her'. my outcome was painful but it did ... (read in full...)
Is falling in love with someone..a want or a decision?
Q. Do you fall in love because you want to, because at some level in your mind you decide to do it, or do you fall in love exclusively because of the effect you think someone else has on you? ...
A. 10 August 2007: Do you think it's possile for someone to tell you 'I love you' when they don't mean it -they say it as a means to get in your pants or soemthing like that?
Aren#t the 'I love you ' words the heaviest ones around?
Has it ever happened to you ... (read in full...)
Is falling in love with someone..a want or a decision?
Q. Do you fall in love because you want to, because at some level in your mind you decide to do it, or do you fall in love exclusively because of the effect you think someone else has on you? ...
A. 9 August 2007: i think it's a decision, a want.. when i was younger i thoght it was definately the other person's input, but now after deliberating a lot im pretty surre we decide to do it, when and with whom, and with what reasons(acknowledged or not...... (read in full...)
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