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*weet-thing agony aunt


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*weet-thing's profile:

I'm a 38-year old artist who is a bit of a hopeless romantic. I've had a few long-term relationships, been married, separated, currently going through a divorce but have a wealth of friends and family around me to keep me centered and happy. When I fall in love, I don't play games. I like it all out there in the open and have always respected men that were honest with me.

I hope that my experiences will help others who are going through similar things.

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My wife suddenly announced that she doesn't love me and wants a divorce! How can I get over the heartbreak?

Q.   I have been with my wife for 11 years and married for 6. We have 3 children together! A week ago she said that she has no feelings for me in fact she hates me, and she has not loved me for the last 5 years! She wants a divorce! I have always stayed ...

A.   27 March 2013: I am so, so sorry for your pain. And I am not going to lie to you. It is going to take you a very long time to get past this horrible news. I recommend you finding a good counselor immediately. He or she will be very instrumental in helping you ... (read in full...)

He had a private lap dance at his stag and now I'm having serious doubts about marrying him!

Q.   I am getting married next week and I am having serious doubts. We have been to together 8 years (since we were 18) engaged for 5 and we have 2 children. We had a pretty much perfect relationship until his stag. About a week after he returned...

A.   27 March 2013: I am torn. This problem is not just about the lap dance. It's also about the fact that he tried to hide it from you for a week (but obviously fessed up, or you wore him down, I'm not sure which one). Yet some of his buddies, who do respect their ... (read in full...)

I keep pushing men away. I don't know why!

Q.   Hello! Please help me. I keep pushing men away. I don't know why.... It's stressing me out. Every guy I meet I look for reasons why they are not right. I date them but don't let myself sleep with them. I constantly look for reasons why they are not ...

A.   27 March 2013: If you suffer from low self esteem, you secretly do not think you are worthy of finding a nice guy. So you sabotage the relationship. It's the "I'll dump him before he dumps me" syndrome so you conjure up reasons why the guy is no good and which ... (read in full...)

He keeps in contact with the ex and didn't tell me about it...

Q.   My boyfriend hung out with an ex girlfriend a few different times while he was visiting home and didn't tell me about it. I found out a few weeks later because I was snooping through his texts. I felt so guilty about snooping that I confronted him ...

A.   14 November 2012: I doubt it was as innocent as you described. Otherwise why would he hide or omit the details? Maybe next time he goes home, why not go along? Why give him the perfect opportunity to screw around with an ex simply because he thinks you won't cross ... (read in full...)

How do you deal with losing someone who made you genuinely happy when you did nothing to cause the distance?

Q.   Thank u in advance for ur help. So i had a female friend who i have been getting along with since September. We would see and talk to one another at least twice a week. I had feelings for her but since it was a great connection i let it play itself ...

A.   14 November 2012: Maybe she was expecting you to make a move on her sexually and when you didn't she felt rejected. I don't know what the circumstances were when she spent the night with you but I'm thinking this might be the one time that acting like a complete ... (read in full...)

Questions for the ladies....

Q.   I want to ask the ladies a few questions. I hear so much about what MEN want from women and their relationships but not so much about what women want, in fact a lot of the time the women seem to be asking questions about how they can improve for ...

A.   14 November 2012: 1. Penis size DOES matter. If it's huge it's painful. If it's tiny it can't be felt. But most men think they're tiny when they're actually just right. (Your definition of "small" might not be the same as mine). 2. Do I ever browse on line for... (read in full...)

Did I do the right thing by walking away when my fiance was staring at a woman? He didn't try to find me.

Q.   My fiance stares a lot at women in front of me. I've talked to him about it, but to no avail. His staring can get blatant, up and down looks, looking at their rear. No matter where we go, he looks or tries to sneak a peek in. I see it all even if ...

A.   14 November 2012: Well you did it all wrong. If you are going to walk away from a man to make a point of it, then you simply get up and storm off. If you tell him you're going to the bathroom, he will not get the message that you're pissed becuase he behavior is ... (read in full...)

I had sex with a married man but now he won't speak to me! What do I do?

Q.   please help i had sex twice with this married man who is driving me crazy,i know what i did was wrong but i couldnt control my self i was so attracted to him but ever since the last time we had sex this was like three weeks ago he hasnt kept intouch ...

A.   14 November 2012: He was using you. There's no love in his heart. He has a wife. He goes home to her every day. Celebrates her birthdays. Holds her at night when they fall asleep. Kisses her good morning every day. This is who he is sharing his life with. You were ... (read in full...)

Having feelings for my ex- do I tell I tell my husband?

Q.   I am currently married to a great man with whom I have three children and I also have an older daughter from my first marriage. My older daughter sees her father a lot, and as such, I often see my ex-husband when he comes to pick her up and drop her...

A.   14 November 2012: You don't! What would be the point? You have rebuilt your life with a wonderful man. Why pollute it with the past? Your relationship was poison and ended badly. Maybe what you're really feeling is a lack of closure. Why on earth would you long ... (read in full...)

How can I get to know someone in a professional manner?

Q.   I want some advice on how I should go about getting to know someone at work in a professional manner, without appearing too forthright and desperate. I have been hopelessly in love with a guy from work probably since the first few times I laid...

A.   13 November 2012: First you need to incorporate a few co-workers to find out a little more about him; for instance is he married or engaged? Because if so, I'd ditch the notion of doing anything more. And don't be fooled. Lots of men in happy, fulfilling ... (read in full...)

Our female room mate who has a crush on my boyfriend walked by our room naked last night!

Q.   So this situation is kind of awkward. My bf and I recently got a new roommate. She is fine most of the time, but she kind of had/has a crush on my bf (he thought she was cute in the past, but is totally over it), and used to flirt with him a lot. I ...

A.   13 November 2012: Oh I definately think it was a come on and big fat slam to you miss girlfriend. If you plan to continue this living arrangement (which personally I would not) you need to keep your bedroom door c-l-o-s-e-d. Then start looking for a new room mate ... (read in full...)

Drunken one nite stand is threatening to tell my girlfriend what happened!

Q.   I've been seeing my girlfriend for just over a year, I love her to bits. About 4-months ago I had a one night stand, not full blown sex but heavy fondling. I'd drunk wayyy too much. Halfway through I came to my senses stopped and went home. The ...

A.   13 November 2012: P.S. Change your phone number. That should stop the harrassing calls. But watch your back for awhile.... (read in full...)

Drunken one nite stand is threatening to tell my girlfriend what happened!

Q.   I've been seeing my girlfriend for just over a year, I love her to bits. About 4-months ago I had a one night stand, not full blown sex but heavy fondling. I'd drunk wayyy too much. Halfway through I came to my senses stopped and went home. The ...

A.   13 November 2012: Well if you plan to take this to your grave I suggest you move her into your place and while you're at it you need to tell her there's someone who's been threatening to harm her. I don't know what you do for a living, but maybe you can blame it on ... (read in full...)

My husband of twenty years has been cheating on me for over half of our marriage!

Q.   I have been married to my husband for almost 20 years. I am 48 and he is 65! I recently found out he had been seeing this girl in her 20's "off and on" (whatever that means) for 14 years! They hooked up when she was 17 years old! I never ...

A.   13 November 2012: You should leave. I seriously doubt he'll kill himself and if he does, you will be a very rich widow. You cannot live like this. The trust is gone and it will never be repaired. He got away with it for too long. I don't even know why he's stayed ... (read in full...)

If she didn't like m,e, why did she go out with me?

Q.   I met this girl on a train and we hit it off quite well. I took her number and asked her out for a date, quite specifically saying that iI want the first date to be in a nice restaurant. it went well. We also had coffee another time and were texting ...

A.   13 November 2012: She seems steeped in old world culture. Maybe she was just using you for a good time. Maybe she just said those hurtful things to turn you off of her, so it would be easier for her to fulfill her parents wishes rather than her own. Whatever the ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is still meeting with the girl he had an affair with. Should I trust him, or not?

Q.   hello everybody, my problem is pretty basic, my BF still talks to his ex girlfriend. This, of course, provokes a number of feelings in my heart and this point i need some advice to understand and feel better. First of all, let me tell you i h...

A.   13 November 2012: Yes for lack of a better description you are being made into a fool. This boy is very mixed up. He seems perpetually hung up on the 'grass is greener' or something quite similiar. Nonetheless, he cannot be trusted. He seems to really enjoy juggling ... (read in full...)

Masturbation Question

Q.   Can i marstabate whilst on a period?...

A.   13 November 2012: Sure why not?... (read in full...)

It seems all we do is argue

Q.   I am 28 years old married for two years with a 15 month old son. My husband and I have been arguing a lot. To me it seems like he isn't happy but when I say anything he says its me, that I'm always miserable and start fights with him. I see things ...

A.   13 November 2012: I have the exact same problem and on this journey I have learned there are people who go through life basically calm, and in a fairly good mood most of the time and then there are people that seem to make an issue of everything. My husband has a ... (read in full...)

Should I be having side effects now I'm on the pill?

Q.   i'm on the pill and strangely I haven't experienced any side effects yet, people say you experience depression, mood swings, emotional, headaches, cramps and breast soreness, weight gain... yet i've been on it a month and I haven't had any of that, ...

A.   8 November 2012: Lucky you! Don't wish for anything to change. Just roll with it.... (read in full...)

I need some general dating advice on courting an "alpha female"

Q.   Cliff note: I need some general dating advice on courting an "alpha female" - you know, the independent, ambitious, and career driven woman. Let's also compound the challenge by throwing out most conventional dating wisdom because she is in medici...

A.   8 November 2012: Well you don't really say how long you've been pursuing her but I think you should keep trying. I do think her career is getting in the way and also I think she is keeping a close reign on her vulnerability. She's being cautious. Maybe she needs to ... (read in full...)

Dildo dilemma!!!

Q.   Hi this is a question mainly for women!!! my ex got me a vibrator, it’s very soft and adaptable is not very wide so it fits just fine, the problem is it hurts when i insert it so i cannot use it... when he was using it on me it didn’t feel that ...

A.   8 November 2012: Personally I prefer vibrators. It's much more exciting to stimulate the clit. My husband can go deep but the vibrator is a unique sensation that he cannot duplicate.... (read in full...)

I really want to find my family... I don't know what to do next!

Q.   Hi guys. This is a family question. Recently my mother died. She was an alcoholic. She was adopted at the age of three month. Well, back in those days, when you adopted a child, you didn't know anything about the biological parents. Also, my...

A.   7 November 2012: You may have to hire a detective or go through a professional family tracking agency to get help. I don't know how expensive these could be, but you can call and find out. Ask the grand parents to see if they know anything. Good luck.... (read in full...)

My girlfriend and I are having intimacy problems.

Q.   I have been with my beautiful girlfriend for a year. I have never been happier with a partner. There is one thing that is bothering both of us and that is with intimacy. Now without going into too much detail, at the end of the day if I didnt i...

A.   7 November 2012: You are experiencing what most of us have struggled with in one or more of our relationships. Not everyone has the same sexual appetite and your g/f seems a little immature sexually, which means she hasn't really gotten in touch wth her sexual side. ... (read in full...)

I didn't let my parents meet my b/f and now they are forbidding me to see him

Q.   i have been with my boyfriend for four years now. He is black and i am Hispanic. I am an honors student with very high expectations from my parents. I never told them about my relationship because they would have disproved on the fact that he is ...

A.   7 November 2012: Sit down and talk to them like an adult. You are in the age group of 18-21 which means you are not a little girl anymore and many parents have a hard time seeing that their little girl has grown up before their very eyes. You have to realize they ... (read in full...)

I like my boyfriend but he's never spontaneous with affection. Why is this!? I'm his first girlfriend.

Q.   I'm a 15 year old girl and I've been in a relationship with this guy for nearly about 6 weeks. I haven't been in a relationship for a long time because every time I get passed the 'honeymoon stages' (about 6 weeks for me) I start to notice all the ...

A.   7 November 2012: We have to train guys how to be responsive. Thank God you're in his life at 15 instead of 45. Yes a few guys just seem to know instinctively what to do when they're in love, others seem to fumble. Don't be afraid to tell him what you need from him. ... (read in full...)

How do I stop him? I don't want my husband watching porn!

Q.   My husband and been together for three years sex life is good I thought but I keep catching him Watchen porn he says he wasn't But I know he was acting different the way he was making love to me I ask what was goin on he told he did masterbst...

A.   7 November 2012: He's addicted. He's also hiding behind the whole "it's helping our sex life" game. Many men play this card. What it spells to me is they cannot continue to be aroused by the same woman year after year. So they go gawking at others. It's a form of ... (read in full...)

I'm so embarrassed of my past and am afraid it will ruin my relationship...

Q.   So, i have been with my boyfriend for several years and we are so in love, thinking of getting married in the near future. The problem is, the past few months i've been thinking about my past constantly and feel so embarrased. The thing is, ...

A.   7 November 2012: Whoa, whoa, whoa, why would you pull away from the man you love because you're afraid of some rumors that he might hear later? Your past is yours and no one else's. Just because people talk crap about you doesn't make it so. Do not let these people ... (read in full...)

My wife is starting to get on my nerves.

Q.   I will keep it short and sweet. I am between jobs right now and finding it hard to find one. Means I am around my wife a lot. A WHOLE lot. She doesn't drive so she relys on me to get her around too so bottom line is my wife is starting to get on my ...

A.   7 November 2012: Can't you just tell her you need a little space? It's perfetctly normal. When you get ready to play your game tell her, "Hey, I'm going to go into the living room, I need a little quiet time to myself to just unwind without thinking or talking for ... (read in full...)

He wants me as a booty call, what should I do?

Q.   I got a friend that has lost both of his parents. We were giving an affair.after the lot of his parents he then divorced his wife. He stop calling me. Then later told me he hookup with another female. He said his relationship is great but his girl...

A.   7 November 2012: Stop being available for his booty call. It's pretty simple. He's already invovled with someone. Don't be his "supplemental" sexual adventure just because his girlfriend has had surgery. ... (read in full...)

Is this girl crazy or am I the insane one?

Q.   Why are some girls sooo hard to figure out? I mean seriously I feel like wacking my head against a wall sometimes. Theres this girl I been talking to for months, we even met and from first time we kissed etc. But only met twice because I went o...

A.   7 November 2012: You could pick up the phone and c-a-l-l her instead of so much texting. If you want the relationship to move forward you need to spend some time talking voice-to-voice. There's only so much people want to type out. Besides it takes more time, it can ... (read in full...)

How do I walk away from my personal trainer who I have feelings for?

Q.   Hello everyone. I need some help! This is a very mixed up situation and I am having a very, very hard time walking away from it. I know what I have to do but I just cannot seem to pull the trigger. And emotionally it is tearing me apa...

A.   6 November 2012: I suspect if you've been using a personal trainer for the past 2 years you already know how to do the exercises without assistance. You know all the warm up moves, you know how long to work out, and what moves work for your body. People initially go ... (read in full...)

How do you invite a guy to come over yours without them thinking you'll sleep together?

Q.   How do you invite a guy to come over yours without them thinking you'll sleep together? This guy I like and we've been seeing each other for a while now, but i still don't want to sleep with him yet till i'm comfortable and sure i'm ready. Thin...

A.   6 November 2012: Make sure he knows your parents will be there. Invite him over for game night, or movie night or tell him your Mom makes a killer plate of spaghetti and ask him to join the family for dinner. That way he knows going in that this will not be a ... (read in full...)

What does my boyfriend's behaviour mean? He's still in touch with his ex and he didn't seem keen to see me after my ten day holiday.

Q.   I've just been away on holiday with 3 other female friends for the last 10 days. Spoke and texted my BF the whole time I was away, he said how much he missed me etc. Tonight is my first night back and I've missed him like crazy, I wanted to see him ...

A.   6 November 2012: I'd be concerned. Sounds like he made plans with someone else when you returned and had to come up with plan B pretty quick. Then again maybe, just maybe he's planning to do something special and needed the extra to plan something. Wait and see how ... (read in full...)

I was dating a guy who wanted to date other women so I finished it. Did I do the right thing or overreact?

Q.   Hello aunties and uncles. I'm a bit confused and bewildered about a recent dating experience and I'd like some opinions or advice. I met a guy via online dating. We had several (4) really enjoyable dates over a few weeks. We chatted freely and...

A.   6 November 2012: I think it was extremely poor judgement on his part to bring that point up in the middle of an intimate moment. And I do not really think you overreacted. It was like having the rug yanked out from underneath you at the height of a special moment. ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend and I are dry humping because we don't want to have sex yet. How can I get mote pleasure form this?

Q.   Okay. So me and my bf are both 16. weve been together for about 6 months now. we are both virgins but weve started dry humping, but we dont feel much. Im not quiet comfortable with just my underware so i usually wear leggings and a shirt. he u ...

A.   6 November 2012: Try oral sex. Much more exciting and still keeps your virginity intact.... (read in full...)

I need advice on how to approach this.

Q.   so im in a lil bit of a situation with some girl i like. She is a single mom (not a problem), she is 2 years older (again not a problem) and she is my ex's friend. They used to be great friends but they have had some issues before the girl i like ...

A.   6 November 2012: Maybe just occasionally send her a message, ask her how it's going and just chat with her. See where it goes. I wouldn't expect alot since she is coming out of a relationship and needs time to get over that. But sometimes just being there can lead ... (read in full...)

My husband's parents refuse to accept the fact that my son is gay, they want us to send him for therapy to have him fixed and have gone as far as tell us that it must be our fault!

Q.   My 18 year old son reciently came out as gay. I was initially shocked but my husband and i are trying to be supportive because at the end of the day we love him regardless, the problem is trying to get his grandparents (my husbands folks) to see it ...

A.   31 October 2012: Keep praying for him. It is not God's will for us to be gay. It is not God's will for men to lie with 13 year old girls, or pray on children. It is not God's will for people to have sex with animals or do the things that some people are attracted ... (read in full...)

My husband's parents refuse to accept the fact that my son is gay, they want us to send him for therapy to have him fixed and have gone as far as tell us that it must be our fault!

Q.   My 18 year old son reciently came out as gay. I was initially shocked but my husband and i are trying to be supportive because at the end of the day we love him regardless, the problem is trying to get his grandparents (my husbands folks) to see it ...

A.   31 October 2012: I think you should stand by your son because he is your son and you love him and he needs that right now. But you said something in your post that struck me. You said he doesn't want to be gay. If that is truly the case then Christian counseling ... (read in full...)

Husband is away. I'm feeling horny. Should I give in and be unfaithful while my husband is away?

Q.   Am a girl of 26 married with two kids. My husband traveled out of the country a year and 5 months now I don't know when he will be coming back. The problem is that am feeling lonely and horny, many guys do comes around to have sex with me, wh...

A.   31 October 2012: You took a vow with your husband and promised to be faithful to him in sickness and in health. You need to respect and honor those vows by staying away from other men, especially those that seem too tempting. If you didn't plan to be faithful to ... (read in full...)

Long term boyfriend looking up ex girlfriend on facebook!?

Q.   I know this may seem dumb but I need some advice on how to deal with this. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years planning our marriage now. he is my first. from the beginning I knew he had an ex. nothing special from what he told me. ...

A.   31 October 2012: Better keep a close eye on him and look for strange gaps in his day when he can't be found; when he doesn't go to work or disappears for too many 'nights out with the guys'. Luckily you know where she lives. He's not telling you the whole story. ... (read in full...)

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