| Latest articles: For all women
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
Just some fun!
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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Does anyone else have trouble forgiving in a relationship?
Q. Does anyone else find that whenever anyone does anything wrong they can't forgive them very easily? It's like whenever anyone's done anything wrong in a relationship I can't forgive them all I can do is keep moaning and going on about it. I am so ...
A. 21 March 2012: That you may forgive but not allow. That is not acceptable.... (read in full...)
I want my ex to know the relationship is over!
Q. My ex and I have dated for a little over two years. I sort of ended our relationship the last week of February by email. We had broken up twice before than and had always reconciled, which the best idea. But, I was in love for the first time, in m...
A. 21 March 2012: If he should get in touch with you again, tell him it's over. If he doesn't, move on.... (read in full...)
Should I tell him why I acted so badly?
Q. There is this guy who I met early this year, we get along very well, had brilliant banter and quite a bit in common. He was the one guy who always texted back quickly and in fact everyday! Just seeing how things were and before I went to bed to say ...
A. 21 March 2012: I agree that no one likes to be the second best or the leftover. And he was nice to you and wanted something with you but you ended it abruptly. That was bad. So I agree that he probably would not like it if you told him why you acted the way you ... (read in full...)
Do men stop using porn when they have a girlfriend?
Q. Hi everyone, us women need hope is there any men here who stop using porn/looking at it when they have a girlfriend? ...
A. 21 March 2012: Some do, some don't.... (read in full...)
How can women watch porn with their partners?
Q. One thing that bugs me is how can women watch porn with their boyfriends/husbands? Aren't you bothered he's getting turned on by another woman, who he possibly thinks is hotter? The thought is horrible....
A. 21 March 2012: I know of a couple (I'm not part of it) who watch porn together because they want to learn new "tricks" for the bed. I suppose this is their way to add "spice" to their sex lives.
Other than that (and other posts of mine notwiths... (read in full...)
Does anyone else have trouble forgiving in a relationship?
Q. Does anyone else find that whenever anyone does anything wrong they can't forgive them very easily? It's like whenever anyone's done anything wrong in a relationship I can't forgive them all I can do is keep moaning and going on about it. I am so ...
A. 21 March 2012: Forgiving is great. It means you recognize that everyone is imperfect and may occasionally hurt you, sometimes on purpose, but the person has another chance. Or seventy times seven chances.
Forgiving is also great because it releases you. Wh... (read in full...)
Why wont the guy I'm dating add me to facebook?
Q. The guy im seeing wont add me on facebook. We've been dating 4 months and after our 3rd or 4th date I added him but he didnt accept. I got angry one night and took it up with him and he told me the reason he didnt accept is because it still said he ...
A. 21 March 2012: I wouldn't know the reason, but this is very strange.... (read in full...)
I can't believe my wife might may be harboring one of the strains of HPV virus just because she gave a few guys blowjobs before she met me!
Q. My wife is always getting cold sores in her mouth. We've always just used over the counter medicine to control/heal it. Finally, after dealing with this for a few years, I took her to see our doctor. He did a checkup, checked out her cold sores, ...
A. 20 March 2012: Oh, by the way, I understand the vaccine does not work on men, it doesn't work equally on all people, you have to get it before you get infected, and then there is no way for men to know whether we are infected or not. We have to assume we are.... (read in full...)
I can't believe my wife might may be harboring one of the strains of HPV virus just because she gave a few guys blowjobs before she met me!
Q. My wife is always getting cold sores in her mouth. We've always just used over the counter medicine to control/heal it. Finally, after dealing with this for a few years, I took her to see our doctor. He did a checkup, checked out her cold sores, ...
A. 20 March 2012: The confusion here may be that the girl may have herpes, but the doctor is checking her for HPV just in case.
Anyways, the advice needs to be the same. People get diseases and generally they don't spread them because they want to. Very likely s... (read in full...)
I feel insecure about my 34C breasts!
Q. Hi this is gonna seem a really cliché question. I've always been really small like a size 6/8 and 5 2" so this is going to seem inevitable but I am really self conscious about the size of my boobs. On paper they should be fine ( 34C) but they look ...
A. 20 March 2012: All I need to say is, you're fine.... (read in full...)
I gave him herpes, and now our sex life has died!
Q. After we found out that we have genital herpes, our sex life died. I am the one who infected him. He is still caring and we do kiss cuddle and talk about it. He cannot keep an erection and he has gained weight. He is always checking my hygien ...
A. 20 March 2012: You're right to feel so bad about it. It is not nice.
I think that, whatever one may feel about this situation, you have to choose whether you will stay with him or not. I'm afraid that the hurtful things won't stop on their own. I would re... (read in full...)
Dumping a guy over pornography use?
Q. Has anyone here ever dumped anyone over pornography use? How bad was it? I want to find a man who doesn't use it so I can feel special for once....
A. 20 March 2012: With the exception of those too young to be able to do it, 100% of people have told lies at some point, particularly those involving things that do not enjoy social acceptance, such as pornography. So if you ask a man "of reproductive age" whether ... (read in full...)
I can't believe my wife might may be harboring one of the strains of HPV virus just because she gave a few guys blowjobs before she met me!
Q. My wife is always getting cold sores in her mouth. We've always just used over the counter medicine to control/heal it. Finally, after dealing with this for a few years, I took her to see our doctor. He did a checkup, checked out her cold sores, ...
A. 20 March 2012: Maybe. Herpes is also very common and just change words. The advice is still the same.... (read in full...)
Dumping a guy over pornography use?
Q. Has anyone here ever dumped anyone over pornography use? How bad was it? I want to find a man who doesn't use it so I can feel special for once....
A. 20 March 2012: Poster, please don't take this personally or badly, but I understand there are a few hermits deep in the dry mountains of the desert in the Sinai peninsula. Those may have never had any look at porn. Or they repented. Try one of them.... (read in full...)
Genital warts! Deal breaker or not?
Q. I met this girl a little while ago and she told me she had genital warts!!!!! weve been going out for like 2 months mainly getting to know each other and she told me. We havnt done anything sexual yet. Cause we just got out of relationships and ...
A. 20 March 2012: One more thing. If you can't feel comfortable with the idea of her having genital warts, then it's best to leave her. You may feel that you agreed to catch a disease and you did it "just for her", and later in life you may feel like getting even. ... (read in full...)
Is this an unforgivable mistake? Should I believe nothing happened between my husband and the other woman?
Q. My husband and I have been together for 13 years and married 7 this year. We started dating when i was 15. My Husband is my best friend and love of my life. Until Nov. of last year our marriage was great really. We had our fights and my husband w...
A. 20 March 2012: Poster: I can believe you love this man like you can't love anyone else, but that doesn't mean there may be more to the story.
Sometimes we choose to disbelieve what we see because we love the person who did it. But that doesn't change facts.
... (read in full...)
Genital warts! Deal breaker or not?
Q. I met this girl a little while ago and she told me she had genital warts!!!!! weve been going out for like 2 months mainly getting to know each other and she told me. We havnt done anything sexual yet. Cause we just got out of relationships and ...
A. 20 March 2012: I know genital warts are not the best thing to happen in a relationship, but this should not be a deal breaker.
Someone asked a related question elsewhere on Dear Cupid.
Genital warts are the manifestation of the HPV virus. Fortunately for ... (read in full...)
How can you treat someone that you plan to take on as a life partner, like this?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend 2 years, we just had a fight 3 days ago and he has not communicated by phone, email or text since, and he doesn't answer his phone when I call. I don't know if he's alive or dead. Now I know a lot of people will be ...
A. 20 March 2012: What was the fight about?... (read in full...)
At what age do you think should people think of getting married and having children?
Q. What age do you think is people should start having a family? I have a 25 year old daughter, who is very accomplished, smart, beatifull, full of life....and doesn't want even to think of getting married and have children just yet. She is still s...
A. 20 March 2012: I don't think there is a "right" age to get married. That is for every individual to determine. People who get married "because it is time" often have bad marriages.
You also have to check the assumption that people who don't have families... (read in full...)
I can't believe my wife might may be harboring one of the strains of HPV virus just because she gave a few guys blowjobs before she met me!
Q. My wife is always getting cold sores in her mouth. We've always just used over the counter medicine to control/heal it. Finally, after dealing with this for a few years, I took her to see our doctor. He did a checkup, checked out her cold sores, ...
A. 20 March 2012: Your wife is not to blame. The HPV virus is VERY common. The sad truth is that, if you have had sex, then you need to consider yourself as a carrier of HPV. My understanding is that American health authorities believe that up to 80% of everyone ... (read in full...)
Is this an unforgivable mistake? Should I believe nothing happened between my husband and the other woman?
Q. My husband and I have been together for 13 years and married 7 this year. We started dating when i was 15. My Husband is my best friend and love of my life. Until Nov. of last year our marriage was great really. We had our fights and my husband w...
A. 20 March 2012: You Wish is absolutely right. If he comes and tells you "the truth", check if "the truth" actually checks out.... (read in full...)
We've been married for 10 years but I fantasize about making love with another woman!
Q. Do i love my wife? We're married for five years but no one knows i have a fantasy about making love with another woman! WHat should i do? I don't want to get divorced!...
A. 20 March 2012: Everyone who is in a relationship at some point casts a more than uninterested look at someone else, and even wish to have sex with that other "forbidden fruit". That happens. What matters is whether you act on that. Are you intending to act on ... (read in full...)
Should I tell him the truth? and if so, how????
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now but we were close friends for 2 years before that. I have been raped twice. The first time I was pregnant as a result and it was ectopic. The first time was when I was 16 and I'd had too mu...
A. 20 March 2012: This is a difficult thing.
I think no man should think that the victim is to blame in any case of rape. That said, there are some people who do think that way, or, more importantly, act that way. He seems not to be that kind of person. He seems... (read in full...)
Why does this girl tell me that she masturbates?
Q. Please don't laugh I'm 23 I have a friend. And this girl. She will text me randomly or tell me randomly that she masterbated. Like I'm confused. Why would a girl tell a guy she masterbated? Is that good for me? Or bad that she tells me t...
A. 18 March 2012: May I only add that you should ask her why she is doing that. Just like that: "Why are you telling me this?". Don't make it sound judgmental; just make sure you know why she is doing it.... (read in full...)
I feel badly that I pushed him away because I was having doubts!
Q. Dear cupid, My name is stella,Please help me with your advice. I met this man online dating,we have been out on two dates so far.We seem to like each other and get on well.But on our second date i pushed him away,because i kept having doubts ab...
A. 18 March 2012: This man may perhaps give you a chance, but most likely something has changed. You need to know whether you want him or not. The answer is "no" for as long as it is not a clear and resounding "yes".... (read in full...)
She said her feelings had changed. should I cut contact?
Q. So, I was in a relationship with a girl for five months. Last thursday, she broke up with me, telling me she didn't know why but that her feelings had changed. I am slowly coming to terms with this, but I am still very much in love with her. I have ...
A. 18 March 2012: No. Delete her number and Facebook, and don't ever befriend her or call her or whatever. She has said she doesn't want you. Anything you do that goes against that wish is inappropriate.
Besides, there is this one lesson that is very difficul... (read in full...)
Insecurity issues -- she cheated and said he was her best ever
Q. Hello everyone Now I have a big insecurity issue to deal with and it usually end up with me feeling unwanted by my fiancé Long story short We got into a fight we broke up I tried getting back then found out that a guy that used to ONLY give h...
A. 18 March 2012: You have no insecurity to fix. You are with a person you can trust. I think you know you have to leave, only it's painful for you to do so. But it would be your best idea.... (read in full...)
Why does this girl tell me that she masturbates?
Q. Please don't laugh I'm 23 I have a friend. And this girl. She will text me randomly or tell me randomly that she masterbated. Like I'm confused. Why would a girl tell a guy she masterbated? Is that good for me? Or bad that she tells me t...
A. 18 March 2012: This is something women don't usually share. It could be bad or good.
"Good" means she wants you and is giving you an "indirect" clue to it.
"Bad" means she just wants someone to tease.... (read in full...)
Is it fair of me to ask my B/f to keep on using condoms, to "save" ourselves for our wedding night?
Q. I'd kind of planned on waiting until marriage to have sex, but then I met my first boyfriend. We're an LDR couple and I lost my virginity to him late last year. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret it at all, it felt so right when it happened! We're ...
A. 18 March 2012: Person12345:
It's not just a difference for the guy at all.
This is just not so. Ask guys and see what they say.... (read in full...)
I just want to kiss this older man at work, Just Once!
Q. There's this man at work who has really touched me..not sexually but mentally. He reminded me to value myself. I'm dating someone but I have moments where I doubt that man...anyway, this man is much older. But, I can tell he's attracted to me but ...
A. 18 March 2012: First, don't lie to yourself: you're attracted to the man. It's not about giving him "one kiss". It's about kising him. I wonder if you would take it lightly if your boyfriend gave "just one kiss" to a "great" female coworker of his.
Besid... (read in full...)
I finally broke with him and he already has somebody new.
Q. Hi just need some advice how do you get over the pain and heartbreak of splitting with someone me and my boyfriend were together over a year I really loved him but he treated me terribly he only came around once a week wanting sex he would go to ...
A. 18 March 2012: Give it time. This was no boyfriend. One day you will see it and will not regret your having broken up with him.... (read in full...)
Is it fair of me to ask my B/f to keep on using condoms, to "save" ourselves for our wedding night?
Q. I'd kind of planned on waiting until marriage to have sex, but then I met my first boyfriend. We're an LDR couple and I lost my virginity to him late last year. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret it at all, it felt so right when it happened! We're ...
A. 18 March 2012: I understand Yos' point of view, and I share it, but I believe that using condoms would be the practical thing for the time being.
The poster is not thinking about diseases, and is not concerned about contraception. She wants to "save" the expe... (read in full...)
Is this masturbation pattern normal?
Q. Well, I'm 17 and i have a problem. I masturbate every night. I constantly think of my gf, especially of the days we have sex. I went on a college tour and i didn't masturbate. I went on a trip and i didn't do it. Only at night when im most ...
A. 18 March 2012: I have the feeling that you are a perfectly well-fuctioning seventeen year old.... (read in full...)
Jealous of not having "female" experiences due to looks
Q. I sometimes feel as if I'm less of a woman because I'm more on the side of Plain Jane/Ugly, and thus do not have a lot of the experiences that other women seem to bond over. I sit with a group of women at lunch, and lately at least one of the...
A. 18 March 2012: I would like to praise Janniepeg (I suppose she has something to do with Winterpeg) in this regard:
focus on your inner beauty and what you have to offer besides your appearance.
I don't think anyone could say it better.... (read in full...)
I'm sexually attracted to the neighbor
Q. advice.... please, attraction and lust for my nabor and im married,i dont know what to do i turn into a horny school girl when i see him and when he call our phone asking for my husband i float on cloud 9....... sometimes when my husbands not in ...
A. 17 March 2012: If you are serious about not wanting this to go any further, then stop the flirting and never see the neighbor again. Easy, you see?... (read in full...)
I lost my virginity to some random girl while drunk, while I really like this other girl. Should I tell her?
Q. Ok I basically lost my virginity last saturday, I was so drunk that I literally cannot remember what happened, the whole night was a blank. I only found out I had sex the next morning. The problem is I am into a girl, who is also into me, but she ...
A. 17 March 2012: If the girl you want has already told you she doesn't want anything serious, I wonder how it is that she is "into you". I would think she's not interested beyond the surface.
If that is the situation, I would suppose that a) either you are not ... (read in full...)
If I am not gay, what am I?
Q. I am over thirty and until very recently I tagged myself as a gay. I had same sex fantasies from my puberty, and a couple of times I had sexual experience with guys as well. However I never could engage a long-term relationship with a man. In the ...
A. 17 March 2012: You're gay but you have trouble relating to people.... (read in full...)
Thirty, single, no prospects, frequents hookers.
Q. Hi, i have recently turned thirty, only to realise that i am growing old with no experience with women and dating game. i just feel shallow, empty and detached. i have been away from home when i was 15 and have lived for the last 15 years on my own. ...
A. 17 March 2012: Double M gave you great advice.... (read in full...)
Why do men want oral sex?
Q. why do men want oral sex ...
A. 17 March 2012: We know so many women don't like it, and that is why you must not force a woman to do it.... (read in full...)
Broke up with an older woman, then found out she was pregnant
Q. Guess who's back? so in previous questions i had mentioned a 35 year old who had a prestarted family (4 kids) and i had broken up with her because i didnt feel there would be a future. 3 weeks later we find out shes pregnant by my child...life and ...
A. 16 March 2012: Yes, the good ol' Xbox and Banging Out Random Days are Over. You're now responsible for another human being. You don't have to have a relationship with her, but you have to be there for the baby.... (read in full...)
What's the best way to let him down easy?
Q. Okay so I just got out of a 2 year relationship where I was cheated on and lied to constantly. I am not ready to date or for commitment for a long time. There is this guy who likes me though who I have been hanging out with for a while and ...
A. 16 March 2012: You don't have to tell him what you're into. All the information he needs is found in this statement: "Hey, (insert name here): I notice you still love me, and I'm sorry to break your heart but I don't. Please don't insist".... (read in full...)
Why do men want oral sex?
Q. why do men want oral sex ...
A. 16 March 2012: Ditto, ditto.... (read in full...)
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