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... Send Enzian a private message | | | Enzian's profile:Ciao! I'm from Switzerland and my mother-tongue is Swiss German – so please excuse my English and all my spelling errors!
I'm mid twentys and very happy together with my boyfriend for three and a half years. Also we have our ups and downs, so I found this page asking questions myselfe.
I'm Christian and so I may seem to be quite conservative. In my free time I read a lot of Christian books about relationship, marriage. I believe that – also it may seems to be a very old-fashioned perspective – this is a very honest perspective and it really helps for a good relationship. For me what is normal for most people today seems to be very selfish. One should try to look away from oneself and try to do best for the others. On the other hand I very much like to talk to other people, friends, singles and married couple and especially to my grandmother, which was very happy married for 60 years (my grandfather just died a month after their diamond wedding).
Therefore not everything I write is my own experience, but I'm sure it is honest. I write what I think and what I learnt. I'm rather straight forward, so I can't say if the advice I give is always helpful. It also could be because of ly language that I don't always find the right words for my sentence and so it could be that you don't understand what I meant to say. And it is probable not allways what you want to hear, but it is one point of view and I hope it will at least be thought-provoking.
I can learn from other peoples answers and would like to learn from your comments aswell. So I would love to hear your comments on some of the advice i have given. |
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Girls appreciate me for my advice and maturity - but why then can't I find a relationship?
Q. Why can't I get a girlfriend? Every girl I meet loves me because of my advice and maturity, kindness and I am reliable but no matter how much they tell me to stay the way I am and that the world needs more nice guys like me I can't get a ...
A. 1 May 2008: I think the last anonymous male reader made a good point: don't be available for everyone and everytime, because if you are, there is one part of the mystery missing. He also made other good points for what I would call "flirt strategy" ;-). Jus... (read in full...)
Weight problems, period delay and suspect urine smell - what could be the root of my problems? Any advice?
Q. Okay girls, if anyone can help me i could really do with some advice. I’ve lost in the past few months a bit of weight, 54kg to 48kg so now i’m considered as underweight. my period came last month okay, but this month it hasn’t shown up. urine ...
A. 1 May 2008: If you lose too much of weight, your body will not have enough energy for getting pregnant and so stopps the perjod. But never us this as a contraceptive, because it will harm your body! So if you miss one of your perjods, you should go and see a ... (read in full...)
Girls appreciate me for my advice and maturity - but why then can't I find a relationship?
Q. Why can't I get a girlfriend? Every girl I meet loves me because of my advice and maturity, kindness and I am reliable but no matter how much they tell me to stay the way I am and that the world needs more nice guys like me I can't get a ...
A. 1 May 2008: Well there is a womens view on this, but I don't know if I will be much of a help... I know a men like you. Everyone is friend with him and especially he has a lot of female friends - but: no girlfriend and he never had one :-( I recently wondered... (read in full...)
My wife wants a 21 year old guy for 24 hours for her 50th!
Q. Hi I am looking for anyone who has been through this situation before. My wife is turning 50 next month and i asked her what she would like for her birthday. (she has every thing you could wish for) or so i thought. She could come up with an...
A. 16 April 2008: Like TELLULAH said: If you have done a lot of sexual stuff before (swinging etc) why are you so surprised?
and like you said: things like this can be dangerous in a relationship.
Do you realise something? There is allready something destroye... (read in full...)
Should I give him a month to think things through?
Q. "I have been with a guy for 7 years who is not ready to get married yet, we are both approaching 30 and to make things worse we have been living in different cities for 3years now. Our relationship has survived the distance until recently when we ...
A. 7 April 2008: Hi there
7 years are a long time, one month ore more is nothing at that ratio. So give him that other month, but don't give him an other an another and only one more and an other one... He had 7 years to think about it, that should be enough. ... (read in full...)
Why won't she let me meet her boyfriend?
Q. Ok! This is a dumb question(To me) But what does it mean if your best friend(Is a Girl) but doesn't want to introduce you to her boyfriend(I'm a girl too) She's been dating this guy for almost a month, and he's in the hospital or at least was and I ...
A. 19 January 2008: Hi
There is maybe an other reason: it just could be, that she needs some time for herself and for meeting this boy on her own, because she is uncertain what's going on. To much of interesst of other people could render her uncertain. (I was like... (read in full...)
I have had my period twice in one month and am worried something is wrong with me...please help.
Q. hi! I need some help and advice please. this time is is not about boys! *surprise surpries* lol. Well i had my period right at the start of the month about 3rd or 4th of decemeber that was expected and fine etc. But today i had my period again,...
A. 8 January 2008: Hi ellie
You don't have to worry anything. It's perfect like this. If you would have started you period allready again in the beginning of January, this would be a thing to worry.
You allway start to count the days for your next period on the day ... (read in full...)
I have had my period twice in one month and am worried something is wrong with me...please help.
Q. hi! I need some help and advice please. this time is is not about boys! *surprise surpries* lol. Well i had my period right at the start of the month about 3rd or 4th of decemeber that was expected and fine etc. But today i had my period again,...
A. 25 December 2007: Hi ellie
I think you are fine and you don't have to worry about this.
I once asked my gynaecologist about this and she told me that everything between 3 and 6 weeks is ok. So if you start your period on the 3rd on a month and 21 days later you star... (read in full...)
What is this discharge?
Q. i am 16 and this might be too long but plz answer my questions i will be veery thankful it will make my life alot better. I have this liquid stuff coming out of my vagina it has been there for as long as i can remember probably before when i starte...
A. 10 October 2007: I'm not a doctor, but I know that even they can not tell you what excatly you have got without seeing you. Only a test can tell what kind of infection you have got und which one would be the right therapy. If you don't want to see a man, see if ... (read in full...)
What is this discharge?
Q. i am 16 and this might be too long but plz answer my questions i will be veery thankful it will make my life alot better. I have this liquid stuff coming out of my vagina it has been there for as long as i can remember probably before when i starte...
A. 9 October 2007: Hi there
I had something similar so I went so see my gynaecologist.
She made the normal checkup they do and did some swabs. It was a fungal affection. So she gave me some pharmaceuticals and I had to stopp using tampons (What is hard, but seems to... (read in full...)
I fear her reaction. Should I ask her out?
Q. i want to ask a girl out. But i fear on her reaction. I want to do it face to face nothing else. But i just don't know how a kind, shy girl will react if they were told i like her? How would you girls/ladies react to a guy who was your friend a...
A. 7 October 2007: Hi there
I allways feel/felt very honoured when a guy asks me out and I'm sure most of other girls and ladies feel that too (except when I knew he just wanted sex or my money or anything from me, but it is not real interest in my person. Then I woul... (read in full...)
Holding out until marriage, but the plans haven't begun.
Q. I have been with my fiance for 6 years and engaged for 2 and a half of them. We have never had sex. She says she wants to wait until marriage and I agreed to that. So I proposed with the intention of getting married soon after. Now its 2-1/2 ye...
A. 5 October 2007: She is playing games with you and you have the right to know where you are. I very much agree with flower girl. So sit her down and tell her how you feel. But don't put the screws on her. She has to do the right decision for her freely, because if ... (read in full...)
I love him but don't want to sacrifice my chances of having kids on him maybe never being ready for anything official. What should I do?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 and 1/2 years, from day 1 we both knew it was serious and agreed this was it together forever etc. We have talked about marriage and babies etc. Thing is its always in the future and even though I have my ...
A. 5 October 2007: Hi Dear
I can imagine how you feel and I wouldn't know how I exactly would react in your situation. It has been 4 and 1/2 years. That is quite a long time. I would consider him as playing games with you and you have a right to know where you are.... (read in full...)
Should I stay married?
Q. My husband of 4 years is very caring and a good father.He is very neat,tidy and organised. Problem is I'm not tidy and I can't stand him insisting to be organised all the time. I wish not to be married to him because I feel suffocated. Everyda...
A. 3 October 2007: Sorry to say this, but you sond like you are married to be happy, you are taking but not willing to give. Sorry for beeing harsh, but that's what I read between your lines. But to realy deeply love someone is a big difference!
Real, deep, solid love... (read in full...)
I've been sending anonymous love/sex mails to my wife's sister
Q. I am 40 and married. I am seriously in love with my sister in law who is 22 unmarried. I have been sending anonymous love emails to her and finally got a positive reply. Should I reveal my real identity and come out in front of her as myself.....I ...
A. 3 October 2007: Hi there
What about your wife? Do you still love her? What about your children (if you have some)? Do you feel somehow left out or what is the reason you are looking for an other women? How do you know you are seriously in love with your wifes sits... (read in full...)
I'm 15. I want to loose a few pounds the healthy way. Any tips?
Q. okay well im 15, and pretty healthy. i swim 3x a week (with a club) and walk to school and the park etc. Im also a pretty good runner and used to do crosscoutry and run for my school, i dont anymore but im still pretty good. But yeah, im not parti...
A. 1 October 2007: Hi dear
You may don't like my answer, but you I have to say that you seem to have a normal body index! Also 1000 callories is not enough to cover the minimum requirements of your body. Your body also needs callories if you do nothing (=no spor... (read in full...)
Too much too late?
Q. Have been married 18 yrs and 3 kids 17, 15, 11, last few years Ive been unhappy. I finnaly told husband I wasnt happy and I dont have the same feelings for him. Now he is trying to change over night and do things he has never done, do dished, ...
A. 28 September 2007: I very much agree with elitzabeth, penta and rcn! Think well about what you do. I'm sure you would not ask this question here, if you would be sure about leaving your husband would be the right thing to do.
To the very good answers of elit... (read in full...)
I don't know how to handle marriage anymore!
Q. Early in our marriage, getting way too challenging, don't know how to handle it anymore. We met in grad school, only dated for just over a year before getting married. We had (I thought) very similar goals in our careers, and we both liked the s...
A. 28 September 2007: Hi there
Hmmm... you seem to be in a very tricky situation. I feel sorry for you, but also resepct that you still are willing to stay in your marriage!
I don't know how to help you, as I'm not a specialist, but I just would like to recommen... (read in full...)
I'm on the pill, but am I pregnant?
Q. Please someone tell me what is going on. I have been on birth conrtol pills for about a year now. My period has always been on time, never early never late. Well lately my guy and I have been having a lot more sex than usual, yes he does ejaculate ...
A. 26 September 2007: Hi Dear
The pill normaly is a very safty birth control. But there are always exceptions. For instance the pill doesn't work together with some antibiotics and other drugs. So if you take some drugs, read the package insert and ask your doctor or c... (read in full...)
Can anyone suggest anything we can do different together and re-fresh and avoid the "predictable" ?
Q. I think I am bored with my routine in life. I don't know why but a few weeks ago I used to like going to my girlfriends and her coming down to mine but now I am so bored I find it harder to feel exited about going to her house. I get exited about ...
A. 26 September 2007: Hi there
I know what you are talking about, because there was a time of about half a year, my boyfriend had the same problem with me. I was just to stressed at that time that I didn't feel doing anything else but sitting around and doing noth... (read in full...)
Does wearing two comdoms decrease the risk of getting pregnant?
Q. Does wearing two comdoms decrease the risk of getting pregnant?...
A. 26 September 2007: Hi Dear
To be honest, I'm not 100% sure, but as far as I know, one should only use one at the time. The reason why two condoms could be less safe is that they would rub against each other what could actually injure the condoms and you could get preg... (read in full...)
I'm worried if I have a baby it will be ugly, because my boyfriend has been referred to as an ape.
Q. Ok this is quite possibly the most shallow question you will ever come across... but here goes. I am seeing my boyfriend 3 years now and I love him more than anything, we are in a very commited relationship and he treats me very very well, and v...
A. 23 September 2007: What ever beautiful or ugly means, much more importand is, what one lucks in it's inside. But from the outside very beautiful parents can have children which don't seem to look very nice and not very nice looking partens can have very handsome ... (read in full...)
Is my fiance cheap? He makes 2800 a month and spend 2000 on my ring.
Q. Is my fiance cheap? He makes 2800 a month and spend 2000 on my ring....
A. 15 September 2007: Hi there
I've got a question about cultures (because I don't really understand the problem behind this question):
How much is 2800 a month? Is that all the money he earns in a month? With ore without taxes? Does he has to pay the rent for his flat... (read in full...)
I'm 13 and need some ideas to make some money around the home!
Q. how can i make a bit of cash around my house. ok i saw this coat what i like what was £25 i realy want it, but i only have five pounds how can i make money around my house to get the rest (i have already had a paper round but i quit because i went ...
A. 9 September 2007: Hi there
I don't know how good you know your neighbour, but here are some ideas:
- ask a neighbour who has a dog, if you could go for a walk with it for 30 minutes twice a week (or more)
- offer a neighbour to look after their cat every day th... (read in full...)
I'm happy in my relationship and a guy at uni is interested. Whats the best way to let him down gently?
Q. Hi! I'm happily together with a very nice young man for nearly 3 years and I love him very much. At the moment he is working at the other end of town and I'm learning for exams at university, so we don't see eachother everyday. Last week I was lear...
A. 29 August 2007: Thanks for your help! Yesterday he joined me and my friends for coffee. After 10min I said, we have to go (what was actually right but mainly it was because I felt uncomfortabel. So we walked away, but after that I feel so bad, because it was ... (read in full...)
I'm happy in my relationship and a guy at uni is interested. Whats the best way to let him down gently?
Q. Hi! I'm happily together with a very nice young man for nearly 3 years and I love him very much. At the moment he is working at the other end of town and I'm learning for exams at university, so we don't see eachother everyday. Last week I was lear...
A. 28 August 2007: Thanks for answers! Because I'm not sure how professional I would be, I would prefer to write him an e-mail and just hope, I wont walk into him today. But I don't know what to write. Do you have an idea? It should be short and clear but still ... (read in full...)
Will eating only 2 apples a day make me lose weight quickly?6
Q. Hey.. ok well i'm planning to lose weight..So i'm going to eat two apples a day and that's it..iv done this now for 1 day..and I no that i'm going keep on doing it..how long will it take like before the weight all drops off?? i'm 9 stone and I hate ...
A. 21 August 2007: Hi dear
Yes, you will lose weight, but not in a very nice way, because your body will punish you for this starvation. So please take the other posts to your heart!
If you want to keep a nice weight for your size and age, go to see a nutritio... (read in full...)
I have not had my period for a month, so whats up?
Q. HELP! My bf and I have been going out for about half a year and we have yet to have sex im 16 and hes 18 and were in total love but were still waiting cuz we both think that love isnt all about sex. PROBLEM IS my period fluxuates since ive been o...
A. 19 August 2007: This seems to be quite normal after beeing off of the pill. It is because the change of the hormones and your body needs to find it's way back. Also stress, losing weight and so on can make it irregular. I'm still irregular, but I talked to ... (read in full...)
She says she is going to skip breakfast to lose weight.
Q. My friend wants to loose weight but shes saying she is going to skip breakfast. But breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Please can some people comment on how important breakfast is so i can tell her...
A. 19 August 2007: Well you are right, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. It will give you energy for the day. Lunch is also very important. If she will skip a meal to loose wight, she should skip supper. This is because what you eat in the evening, you ... (read in full...)
I think i got married too young.
Q. I am married really young. I am now 24, and have been married for a year. When I first met my wife, we really hit it off. I was actually looking for a roommate at the same time, and decided she would be a perfect fit. She ended up moving in within 2 ...
A. 19 August 2007: Hi there Well, I personally think, this are exactely the reasons, why one should not marry to early an get to know a person for a few time. But on the other hand I think it happend and now don't think about what you all did "wrong" in the past, bu... (read in full...)
I'm getting married and I don't want to! What do I do?
Q. well, I'm so confused and the issue itself has been causing me a depression since it happened that I thought of committing suicide just to escape the scandal. I'm 23 years old and due to circumstances I was pushed into a relationship and I lost my ...
A. 11 August 2007: Hi Dear I feel very sorry for you! But because I don't know the culture in your country, your religion and so, it is very hard to give you any advice. So do you have anyone you can really trust? Your mother, a sister, a cousin, your grandma,... (read in full...)
Jumping straight into a relationship after a fifteen year one.
Q. I just wanted to know opinions on a partner breaking off a long term relationship (15 yrs +) to immediately start a new relationship, thats if you were cheating. What are the pros and cons of starting such a relationship? ...
A. 9 August 2007: Hi I think, this i not cheating and it won't be wrong. But my own opinion is, that one should wait for some time. This is to get some distance from the former relationship and to find back to yourself. I myself would feel like a consolation next... (read in full...)
My fiancee: cheated with a prostitute, can't get hard except through oral, has a short temper and leaves for days on end after an argument!
Q. I love him but am i being controlled. my fiancee and I have been together for over 2 years. he cheated on me with a prostitute after 8 months, a month before we were to be married. we went to counselling, but he could not tell me why he did it. He ...
A. 6 August 2007: Hmm, I think you need to look after yourself and ask yourselfe a few questions. Questions like - Why do you love him? - What is the real reason you are with him? Is it only just because of your worry that you won't find someone else? Or maybe d... (read in full...)
Since they have moved in with their boyfriends, i hardly hear from them.
Q. I was good friends with 2 sisters and we spent every weekend together. However they are now living with their b/fs so I don't see them anymore. Over the last 7 months I have seen them 3 times. All I get now is a e-mail maybe once a week, I have...
A. 23 July 2007: Hi there
You seem to be a little jealous? Well, I really do understand you, as this happend to me with my friends and brothers as well. I know it's hard, especially if one wishs to have a boyfriend oneselfe...
But don't but your head in the sand... (read in full...)
I get mad when she mentions that she is going out with her friends because I get the feeling that she shouldnt be having fun without me and i get jealous
Q. I have a problem I have been living in another country for 9 months and that is also how long I have been away from my girlfriend. We are trying to make this work and we are almost there but the problem is that I get mad when she mentions that she ...
A. 8 July 2007: Hi there I think, you should ask yourself, what the real reason is, you are jealous. Do you think she will see other guys? Or is it realy that you can not be with her and have fun with her? Could it be that you don't have much fun in the country ... (read in full...)
I'm confused and unhappy with the way my life is going
Q. I am a MAN, and I have realized how stupid I am! I am married, since 4yrs and I don't know why? I grew up in a single parent home and I am having major challenges in understanding the needs of a home, wife, family, etc. I am a good person. ...
A. 30 June 2007: Hi there Hope I didn't understand you wrong! I personaly think you need to learn what it means to realy love someone and what it means to be married. And I also think, that you dont have to do everything on your own. You can get help and there is... (read in full...)
Can I lose weight from a healthier diet but no excercise?
Q. I need some advice here. If I just eat less and not excercise will I be able to drop pounds and lose wieght? Will I be able to lose up to 20 pounds?...
A. 29 June 2007: One thing, I just would like to add (just to note in the case you plan to do a little bit of exercises): There is one thing about exercises that you should look after. Don't eat just before you exercise, becaus you could get stomachache of it espec... (read in full...)
If a guy loves you and wants to marry you, is it okay to ask that he not go to a woman's house at night?
Q. I have a wonderful guy that still visits a beautiful girl who lives down the street from him once in a while in the evenings. I told him it makes me uncomfortable, and he said they are only friends. I told him, how would I know that. And he said ...
A. 29 June 2007: Hi I think you have the right to tell him that you don't want him to do that. It is not about trust, but respect of you and your feelings. Tell him how you feel and that you would like to stop him doing this because you feel uncomfortable. If he re... (read in full...)
Can I lose weight from a healthier diet but no excercise?
Q. I need some advice here. If I just eat less and not excercise will I be able to drop pounds and lose wieght? Will I be able to lose up to 20 pounds?...
A. 29 June 2007: Hi dear
yes, you will lose weight only by eating less but not doing exercises. But it will take much longer and also your body will not get such a nice form as it would if you would do some exercises. To get your skin taut you would need some exer... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and puberty still hasn't kicked in
Q. help me please i am 16 and still havent hit puberty fully. I have got pubic hair gowing and i have grown in hieght and thats all. my voice hasn't broke and my penis hasn't grown much in lenght has anyone got anything that could help me please?...
A. 24 June 2007: Hi there I was late as well - everone is different, you should not comparing yourself too much to others and don't listen about their jokes. As I am female, I don't know what is normal for boys. I believe you are not too late. But why don't you as... (read in full...)
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