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*hania agony aunt

*hania

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*hania's profile:

Im not judgemental, im not here to preach or sound you off because you commited adultery im just here to give,hopefully some good advice to any problem you have.I have seen a bit of life and experiences...so perhaps give some wise words to any folk off here.

Shania.

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Why has he stopped texting me?

Q.   i've been spilt with my boyfriend for about a month now and i have been texting this really nice guy who is slighlty younger than myself. I think i may have fallen for this guy and he used to text me nearly every day, but all of a sudden it has ...

A.   18 February 2011: Have you two actually dated? or has it just been text messages? Either way, it does seem like he has lost interest. I wouldn't text him again unless he makes contact 1st but I wouldn't hold your breath. I suggest you look elsewhere.... (read in full...)

Hotel sex capers!

Q.   I'm going to a hotel with my bf and i want to know of some positions and stuff we could do together. (I'm quite new at the whole sex thing, only really done missionary) We've already mentioned doing it in the shower and doggy... Any other ...

A.   18 February 2011: How about you riding him on top?...or the spoon position where you lie on your side and your boyfriend lies behind you and he penetrates you,its a gentle way to making love.Another position is where you get on top but you are facing behind him so he ... (read in full...)

An unspoken break...is it over? how long does it last?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and nine months. I am 39, he is 33. It has been absolutely wonderful. I have never felt as adored and loved in a relationship before and I reciprocated those feelings back to him. Things have been ...

A.   16 February 2011: When money goes out the window, love goes out the door...just an old saying but it rings some truth. Personally, I think a year with your man isn't long enough to be thinking of marriage and babies,its far too soon for a man to be thinking along ... (read in full...)

29 days of no contact and I miss him so much!

Q.   I am 28 year old female and have been dating my 35 year old boyfriend for 10 months. Our relationship was rosey the first 4 months. I met all his family and he met mine, i know all his friends and he knows mine, he even said that I was the one that ...

A.   15 February 2011: Right, you said you have made no contact for 29 days...but within that time your ex has been chasing you, sending you emails etc but you had chose to ignore him.So he's probably thinking now, that you dont want to know, anymore.Ok, you were hurt ... (read in full...)

Can I stay friends only with my married lover?

Q.   Hi.. I have been having an affair with a married man (co worker) for 2 years. I am married aswell. We are both in unhappy marriages and here for our children only. We have had many ups and downs in the 2 years. On Wednesday we went away for ...

A.   12 February 2011: Staying just friends with your ex lover never works,especially when one of the partner's wanted more.If you stay friends with him you will be slowly torturing yourself.Why put yourself through that? If your ex lover really loved you then he would of ... (read in full...)

Help! Trying to understand his actions???

Q.   Hello, I am in a relationship that is a mixed bag, good and challenging (like everyone, right?). I go to a group meeting daily, and there is a man I am attracted to, and there has been some light flirting (I think). He approached me Th...

A.   6 February 2011: I think he's acting really strange judging by his actions.If you said to me that this fella was a teenager I could understand it but I presume he's in his thirtie's/forties? If he is then his flirting skills have alot to be desired. Also I would be ... (read in full...)

After 5 years, my boyfriend says he loves me but isn't in love with me?

Q.   Have been going out with my bf for 5 years and while he says he loves me he is not "in love with me!!!" I consider this to be an insult after all this time and praps I should just end it! I think I deserve better! Please advise as I do love him to ...

A.   4 February 2011: He loves you like a sister...thats not good enough,I agree with the other agony aunts,its time to leave him.Why settle for 2nd best when there is a guy out there that will love and cherish you...surely you deserve that?... (read in full...)

My ex wrote me a letter and told me to go on with my life!

Q.   I am in such a pickle here and don't know what to REALLY do. I am torn between how I feel about this man and intellectually knowing what to do. So I would appreciate any and all advice/suggestions anyone might have. The man i have been inv...

A.   4 February 2011: This fella is using you...only wants to see you when it suits him and im sorry but this excuse about his father having a stroke would not affect his relationship with you if he really cared about you....if anything he would of needed the support but ... (read in full...)

Is he trying to tell me to date others, or does he want me to tell him there is no one else???

Q.   I've been seeing this man since November and we were having a talk about relationships, etc. He is going through a lot with his last relationship, we both are really, and are enjoying our time together. So, for the past two days, we have been tal...

A.   4 February 2011: The only way to find out is to ask him straight out...its still early days and he might be testing your reaction to see how much you are into him....or he is letting you down gently...it could be one way or the other. If I was you,I would ask him if ... (read in full...)

I've got him some great Valentines gifts, but he ridicules even the idea of presents!

Q.   hi i am 29 year old woman in love with a man, weve been dating 10 months now and live in different cities, i know this sounds silly but its valentines coming up and i have bought him some lovely presents, i did for his birthday and christmas ...

A.   3 February 2011: Ok, so has he ever bought you a birthday present? Would it kill him if he had to ..god forbid get his wallet out and buy you a little gift because it would make you happy? Your not expecting him to lavish you with presents,your not a gold digger but ... (read in full...)

I've got him some great Valentines gifts, but he ridicules even the idea of presents!

Q.   hi i am 29 year old woman in love with a man, weve been dating 10 months now and live in different cities, i know this sounds silly but its valentines coming up and i have bought him some lovely presents, i did for his birthday and christmas ...

A.   3 February 2011: This boyfriend of yours is a tight fisted user.You make all the effort to buy him lovely things for his birthday and christmas's yet he gets you sweet FA? I bet his arse squeaks everytime he walks by....and I bet when its his round at a pub he makes ... (read in full...)

Does he regret cheating on me?

Q.   Its been two years now since I broke up with my ex of five years and although I caught him cheating on me, and I ended things, and have not spoken to him since. He was my best friend. I am wondering if he ever regrets what he did? Or if he ever ...

A.   3 February 2011: Maybe he did, maybe he didn't...who knows? Its been 2 years now and he hasn't exactly, broken down your door and beg you for forgiveness...or did he? No doubt he has probably met someone else now and even if he had felt guilty about cheating on ... (read in full...)

Am I supposed to put my life on hold and wait for him?

Q.   I am divorced and have been for about 5 years and have met some real losers but about 2 years ago a wonderful guy came into my life, we met through some mutual family friends that have known both of us since we were children, we just clicked and ...

A.   10 January 2011: I shall put it into a nutshell for you...."He's not that into you"...You have known each other for 2 years,you have been intimate with him,supported him through his marriage break up..yet he is still not sure about you.Im afraid you were like a ... (read in full...)

Am I supposed to put my life on hold and wait for him?

Q.   I am divorced and have been for about 5 years and have met some real losers but about 2 years ago a wonderful guy came into my life, we met through some mutual family friends that have known both of us since we were children, we just clicked and ...

A.   10 January 2011: I shall put it into a nutshell for you...."He's not that into you"...You have known each other for 2 years,you have been intimate with him,supported him through his marriage break up..yet he is still not sure about you. ... (read in full...)

She claims she loves me yet, she cancels our dates?

Q.   I have a question that I need someone else's opinion on: I met a woman online and we been on several dates. She tells me that she loves me and wants to be with me (I figured a little early but what the hell) She lives with her grandmother who d...

A.   11 December 2010: Im surprised you haven't died of sheer boredom? This flaky girlfriend of yours but you cant really call her that...is messing you about.She does not love you,she likes the thought of you chasing her,and then letting you down...You told her it was ... (read in full...)

Married lover doesn't love me but is extremely fond of me?

Q.   Hi Ive been seeing a married man for about 9yrs, well i tried to break it off so i told him i would tell his wife about us if he didn't plus i said a lot of other very hurtful stuff to him, told him he had no respect for her ,or his marriage vows, ...

A.   11 December 2010: If after long 9 years of you two being together and he has said he's not in love with you...then believe him...he doesn't! And he never will, sorry to sound blunt but he's having his cake and eating it.He wants the stability of a wife and the ... (read in full...)

Should I make a move, or is he no longer interested?

Q.   I'm in a complicated situation. I recently met a man and started dating. All was going great - he was taking me out for dinner, coming over and cooking me dinner, going for moonlit walks. It was very early days but I was feeling really optimistic. ...

A.   7 November 2010: No Nime....what I meant was that she sends him a text or email...asking if he would like to meet up? and thats when the ball is in his court after that...He can either say yes or no.... (read in full...)

I'm worried my OCD is coming back.

Q.   When i was a child i used to have pretty bad OCD. Certain things had to be done a number of times e.g. switching a light switch on and off. I know i probably sound like a complete nut but if you don't have it you really can't understand what's it's ...

A.   6 November 2010: I dont think you are ever cured of OCD entirely...you just learn to live with it.You can have periods of not having any symptoms at all and then all of a sudden they come back...and usually when you are under stress or you have too much time on your ... (read in full...)

Should I make a move, or is he no longer interested?

Q.   I'm in a complicated situation. I recently met a man and started dating. All was going great - he was taking me out for dinner, coming over and cooking me dinner, going for moonlit walks. It was very early days but I was feeling really optimistic. ...

A.   6 November 2010: Ok...it does sound rather strange but i think you should send him a text asking if he wants to meet up with you for a coffee or whatever, he has already seen you out and about and carrying on with life so the ball is in his court now.If he still ... (read in full...)

My ex has a fake profile pretending to be someone else and he has befriended me

Q.   My lover dumped me 3 weeks ago,he said he needed some space and time to think things out etc.I have left him alone but i am heartbroken, anyway he has gone on a website that i go on and he goes in a profile pretending he is someone else...he ...

A.   6 November 2010: This fella sounds a right tit.He hasn't got the guts to contact you as himself so uses a fake profile to see what you are up too...why? He was the one who dumped you, you have given him space yet he still wants to know whats going on in your ... (read in full...)

I asked him to be my boyfriend, but no affirmative answer. Should I just smile and wait?

Q.   I met this guy online. He contacted me last November and I have seen him 5 times since then. He makes me laugh, we have very complementary personalities, and he inspires me to be a better and stronger person. Sex with him was the best I ever had ...

A.   1 November 2010: I said that she is wasting her time with him...the fact that he has only seen her 5 times in a whole year means that he isn't really interested...I hardly call it premature on her part...she has done nothing wrong, she never pressurised him...never ... (read in full...)

I asked him to be my boyfriend, but no affirmative answer. Should I just smile and wait?

Q.   I met this guy online. He contacted me last November and I have seen him 5 times since then. He makes me laugh, we have very complementary personalities, and he inspires me to be a better and stronger person. Sex with him was the best I ever had ...

A.   31 October 2010: Some men do have children late in life so you cant rule it out completely,but the fact that he is now 44 years old and has never been married instigates to me that he is a committment phobic....the way he is with you proves that.If he thinks your so ... (read in full...)

I think I'm hanging on to hope here purely because of the 25 years I've known this person.

Q.   In January this year an old friend from university came back into my life - we met up for a drink and had a lovely evening together. A week later he called and said he'd love to see me again, but not as a friend. I was really shocked but flattered. ...

A.   30 October 2010: Oh God! This man is a pathological liar and im afraid the trust has been broken...you simply cannot trust this man.Like you said, if he had been more open with the truth then fair enough but this man is a 1st class cad.If you forgave him again you ... (read in full...)

I like sniffing ladies dirty panties

Q.   I like sniffing womens dirty panties and i dont know if i am normal.Am afraid that if my girlfriend finds out she will leave me.Ladies if you find your man sniffing your dirty panties will you leave him....

A.   30 October 2010: No i wouldn't but its not everyone's cup of tea, some women will accept it others wont.Its horses for courses.Its quite a common..male fetish and iv heard worse.... (read in full...)

I asked him to be my boyfriend, but no affirmative answer. Should I just smile and wait?

Q.   I met this guy online. He contacted me last November and I have seen him 5 times since then. He makes me laugh, we have very complementary personalities, and he inspires me to be a better and stronger person. Sex with him was the best I ever had ...

A.   30 October 2010: I disagree with quiet echo because if she has known him since last november and that was a year ago! How can you say she is moving too fast? If a fella is really "In to you" then regardless of his past or he has had his heart broken....he will ... (read in full...)

I felt used! Did I do the right thing in breaking off contact?

Q.   This week I told a female friend (I am male) I thought we should stop talking for at least a while. Now I feel a deep hollowness as well as guilt for breaking off contact with someone who has relied upon me. Let me give you a little backstory, and ...

A.   29 October 2010: What a user, and im afraid she took your generosity to the highest limit! This woman is a 1st class gold digger,thats why she dates older,rich men....she saw you as another meal ticket.You have done nothing wrong, you were used im afraid. You need... (read in full...)

I asked him to be my boyfriend, but no affirmative answer. Should I just smile and wait?

Q.   I met this guy online. He contacted me last November and I have seen him 5 times since then. He makes me laugh, we have very complementary personalities, and he inspires me to be a better and stronger person. Sex with him was the best I ever had ...

A.   29 October 2010: Let him see you and dont offer him sex, give it a while and you wont hear from him again.... (read in full...)

I asked him to be my boyfriend, but no affirmative answer. Should I just smile and wait?

Q.   I met this guy online. He contacted me last November and I have seen him 5 times since then. He makes me laugh, we have very complementary personalities, and he inspires me to be a better and stronger person. Sex with him was the best I ever had ...

A.   29 October 2010: This guy is a free spirit or has a wife with kids in another country,who knows...but the fact you have only seen him 5 times since last november proves to me that he is only using you for sex.Your his booty call....if he really wanted a proper ... (read in full...)

Will he be more likely to contact me if I stop trying to contact him?

Q.   I have broken up with my boyfriend,2 weeks ago.He hasn't contacted me although i did email him and text him but no response.Does the "No Contact" rule actually works? I read on a website that if you want your lover back then he has to miss you 1st ...

A.   29 October 2010: The No Contact rule will only work if the person who's left you is in love with you still and wants you back BUT you couldn't keep splitting up if none of your problems are never resolved.Sometimes a break can make both of you reflect on what you ... (read in full...)

I'm in love with a married woman but won't leave my wife

Q.   I am in love with a married woman .How can I stop thinking about her so much. She is driving me crazy..I love her but will never leave my wife. Please help me!!!...

A.   29 October 2010: You want something you cannot have and thats why your married lover seems so alluring. If you cant leave your wife, then im afraid its not love you are feeling for your mistress but good old fashioned lust...and that passes eventually. In the mean... (read in full...)

5 days ago I said something to my boyfriend that I regret and he hasn't contacted me since

Q.   A week last sunday I said something to my boyfriend which I really regret and I didnt mean. Everyone gets wound up sometimes and for me I blew and blurted it out. Well since then hes not spoken to me, ive text a few times, called and last night ...

A.   28 October 2010: Sorry..I had to read it again,iv got back pain and doped up on painkillers so please excuse my mistake.Ok...you haven't committed the crime of the century, we all say things we dont really mean at the heat of the moment and like one of the Aunties ... (read in full...)

5 days ago I said something to my boyfriend that I regret and he hasn't contacted me since

Q.   A week last sunday I said something to my boyfriend which I really regret and I didnt mean. Everyone gets wound up sometimes and for me I blew and blurted it out. Well since then hes not spoken to me, ive text a few times, called and last night ...

A.   28 October 2010: Does your fella live far away then? hence the lack of time together? Im not surprised you feel a bit insecure if your boyfriend is anything to go by.Alarm bells rang when you mentioned about your operation and the sulks you got afterwards because he ... (read in full...)

5 days ago I said something to my boyfriend that I regret and he hasn't contacted me since

Q.   A week last sunday I said something to my boyfriend which I really regret and I didnt mean. Everyone gets wound up sometimes and for me I blew and blurted it out. Well since then hes not spoken to me, ive text a few times, called and last night ...

A.   28 October 2010: For you to say that...then at the back of your mind,you must really think that.... (read in full...)

5 days ago I said something to my boyfriend that I regret and he hasn't contacted me since

Q.   A week last sunday I said something to my boyfriend which I really regret and I didnt mean. Everyone gets wound up sometimes and for me I blew and blurted it out. Well since then hes not spoken to me, ive text a few times, called and last night ...

A.   28 October 2010: You apologised, you texted him and you emailed him, the ball is now in his court.I suggest that you stop all contact and let him calm down, and miss you.If he does love you he will contact you but if he doesn't,then you will have to accept its over.... (read in full...)

I dumped g/f 10 months ago and want her back!

Q.   I dumped my girlfriend 10 months ago and everyday I regret it. I treated her bad. Now she's hanging around another guy who treats her like a queen and she acting in a way that she didn't act with me. It torments me to watch anothe guy make her ...

A.   28 October 2010: If you wanted her that much then why on earth did you leave it 10 months!!! What did you expect her to do? Wait for you while you made your mind up? Get real... She is over you and you cant handle it.You have learnt a hard lesson in life and the old ... (read in full...)

I'm heartbroken at being dumped because we got uninvolved with each other's daily lives... I need to hear some different perspectives!

Q.   Ive had a relationship before, and ive been dumped before. This time its worse. Basically, ive been going out with him for a while now, and it might just be me but i get used to things, i get attatched and when they leave i cant cope myself...

A.   27 October 2010: If he really loved you he wouldn't of finished with you.Please dont torture yourself,you did all you could.Its best if you move on.... (read in full...)

We've not spoken for 2 weeks following our fight, what shall I do?

Q.   me and my boyfriend had a fight. and the last thing my boyfriend said was ' my mind is upset n i dont want to speak anything just now or ill say something bad by mistake then it'll create more problem.. the next day i called he did not pick up and n...

A.   25 October 2010: You need to stay away until he cools down.It sounds like you had a very heavy argument and your boyfriend wants space.If he still loves you he will contact you again.Give it another 2 weeks then leave him an email saying that you miss him, that you ... (read in full...)

My wife is a good mother and a good friend to me, but the sexual side to our marriage is dead!

Q.   Hi Cupid I have been married for 15 years and have a wonderfull family. I love my wife and my kids. the problem however is that there is no sexual attraction in my heart towards my wife. It is not that I dont want to but the problem is that ...

A.   25 October 2010: Once you stop finding your partner sexually attractive then it wont be too long until you fall out of love with her.In my personal opinion,if there is no sex or intimacy in a marriage then as far as im concerned its stone dead.If your situation ... (read in full...)

When a guy stares at you...does he like you?

Q.   So, I have a class with this guy and every time I look up, I see him looking at me. I also notice he's always staring at me when I see him in the hallways and I don't look at him often or see him much. When he stares, it's not like I catch him...

A.   24 October 2010: Could be...its hard to say.Next time he looks at you, give him a warm smile and if he smiles back then bingo! you have striked lucky.He could be shy so why dont you just say hello,next time you two bump into each other.You get the ball rolling 1st ... (read in full...)

Do guys have their dark/cold moments?

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for about 10 months now. It was all fine until up to two weeks ago, where his grandma went to the hospital, and he received his marks back for one of his college courses (which he got like 60s when he was aiming for 90s). ...

A.   24 October 2010: This guy is playing with your head and your emotions.One minute he wants you the next he doesn't.I dont care if his grandma went into hospital,i dont care if his grades were crap...that wasn't your fault.He is giving out any excuses he can muster so ... (read in full...)

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