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| | Sugarbuns's profile:I am a 28-year old dancer who loves jazz, art and fine wine. I have traveled all over the world performing the art that I love so much. My friends say I am intuitive, it is a gift I believe, being able to see what others do not and having a sense about people you do not know. I hope I can help others with their problems. oxox
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Is it possible to fulfill his fantasy but keep him out of it?
Q. Dear Cupid. I have been in a relationship with a wounderful man, I love him very much. We should have met years ago! He is very much into women. matter of fact he makes comments often. i say he is infatuated. That is ok to a point, sure I te...
A. 29 October 2009: He will join in. You'd be better off not to go there. It could end badly. Best to fulfill one of his other fantasies (men have endless amounts). Perhaps you could take up belly dancing lessons, or learn how to pole dance and then give him a ... (read in full...)
Her mom thinks a 2 year age gap is too much
Q. im a 17yr male in grade 12 and ive just started dating a girl in grade 10 who is 15. im having a hard time convincing my mom that its ok that im two years older... how can I convince her that its ok, or rather, is it actually ok?...
A. 29 October 2009: The problem isn't that you're 17 and your g/f is 15, the problem is in a very short time you will be 18 and you're g/f will still be under age. This changes everything. You can be convicted of rape because you will be considered an adult, and she ... (read in full...)
Did I do the right thing by staying with my husband?
Q. I'm very confused, and feel like my brain is not functioning properly, I make a decision know it's the right one, then change my mind. I really want your advice. Should I stay with my husband. I want to stay and be happy together, but do...
A. 29 October 2009: Has your husband really decided suddenly that he loves you, or is that just the overwhelming guilt talking? And even though you really, really say you love him, can you ever forgive him which also means forgetting about it to some point because you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend cheated with me on his ex!
Q. My boyfriend cheated on me with his ex wife 2 or 3 times that I know of. He has kids with her and sometimes talks to her 4 to 5 times a day, but not when I'm around. I told him that if he has nothing to hide he would talk to her in front of me. She ...
A. 29 October 2009: She cannot deny him his rights as a parent to see his children and share custody, unless he abuses or neglects them. Then she will have to have hardcore proof or it'll never stick. If your b/f has a job, pays his bills, doesn't do drugs, doesn't ... (read in full...)
Is it ok that I am 21 and she is 15?
Q. OK... If i am 21 can i go out with this girl that is 15 and she loves me and i love her. her parents like me and trust me, they don't mind if i go out with there daughter. I am a Cristian and i wear a purity ring and i am faithful to my promise with ...
A. 29 October 2009: Why would any 21 yr old man want to date a child? That is strange to me, when you could have a woman your own age. It may be "okay" on the surface to take her out but you are going to be tempted to have sex, and once you cross that line, you're ... (read in full...)
Am I considered "too skinny?"
Q. Hi, im 20 yrs old, i am 5'6 and I weigh 110 lbs. Would most guys consider this to be too skinny? Ive tried gaining weight but im a runner and i cant force myself to overeat. thanks....
A. 29 October 2009: You are pretty skinny, but if you are eating healthy meals and getting enough nutrition I wouldn't worry too much. You're young, you'll gain as you get older, just keep healthy eating habits and you'll never have a weight problem. Enjoy!!!... (read in full...)
How do I let the other man go without hurting his feelings?
Q. i am / was in a relationship with a great guy. but had another on the side. i love my man and see my self even married to this man but i don't know how to let the other one go. l have feelings for the other one but i don't see a futre with that ...
A. 29 October 2009: Once someone develops romantic feelings for you, that you do not equally share, there is no way to end the relationship without some hurt and pain. So don't delude yourself there. But people are resilent and he will be fine. Be up front and honest. ... (read in full...)
Should I go to his party? And if I do, my two dress choices may make me look like I'm dressing to impress!
Q. I'm going to a formal dress party on friday night, hosted by the guy I like. Things have been eventful lately with us - we got together and then he freaked out a little and said it was all going too fast and we should just be friends, get to know ...
A. 29 October 2009: If you don't really want to go to the party simply tell him you have other plans and sound cheery, so he won't think you're pissed or hurt. If you do decide to go, wear the black dress just put a black cami underneath to cover some fo the clevage ... (read in full...)
So do you think I'm pregnant?
Q. I think i might be pregnant. I had sex about 5 months ago and i was on birth control and he was using a condum. I got my period for the first 3 months and than missed it the fourth month i than got it at the begining of the fifth month and i was ...
A. 29 October 2009: No way. Especially if it's been 5 months since you've had sex with anyone and you've had a few periods since then. I think your periods are erratic because you've gone on and then off the Pill which can screw up your cycle. You should either ... (read in full...)
What should I do to keep him interested in our relationship?
Q. Okay, so we've been together for 3 months now. He's a very laid-back guy. He's been single for 2 years before he's in a relationship with me now. During the workin days, we never see each other because he's mentioned it before that he'd be very ...
A. 29 October 2009: Your relationship is too new to worry about so many things and if your b/f feels like you (and his mother) are moving things a little to fast, it may make him back off a bit. You could simply ask him how he feels about you, and where does he see the ... (read in full...)
Exposing the girlfriend for cheating
Q. I wanted to expose the events that happen in the last 5 months or so with my 4 years girldfriend who has a 9 y.o. kid. We meet up +4 years ago. She moved from her country to look for a better future for her and her son who was in her country. Whe...
A. 29 October 2009: In a relationship, there is a fine line between being trusting, and making it waay too easy for someone to move right into your arena. Because jealousy gets such a bad rap by most people they are so afraid of showing any signs of it; so they often ... (read in full...)
Are breast implants attractive to men?
Q. I am in great shape and all natural. As women we are inundated with images of women with the perfect breast implants. Women are getting boob jobs all the time. Honestly, to the men out there are breast implants attractive. Do they look fake? ...
A. 29 October 2009: Depends on the man. Depends on the boob job. Some men don't care, some do. It's as individual as anything else.... (read in full...)
Am I being insane, or is he comparing me to an ideal that I will never be?
Q. So, I recently got engaged to a man that I love so dearly, and I know that he loves me too..Here's the background: it took us around 7 or 8 months before he actually committed, once he did, we were very serious and he has "never looked back"...but ...
A. 14 September 2009: He may not be aware that he's making you feel this way when he offers these types of suggestions to you. Most men don't have a clue how competitive women really are with each other, so they don't know the bells and sirens that go off when they ... (read in full...)
Out of the 3 men, who seems more like relationship material?
Q. Which guy seems more like relationship material? SAM- my ex who i was in a relationship with a year ago. i was in love with him. he is gorgeous, smart and shares my similar sarcastic, smarky humour. doesn't know exactly what he wants at times t...
A. 14 September 2009: Considering the size of the paragraph you wrote about each man, I'd say you already know the answer to your question. Sam. One other plus is, that he claims he's grown up a bit and is ready for a relationship. If that's true, then you may very ... (read in full...)
I can't cope alone
Q. To make a long story short: I regrett my decision on becoming pregnant. It's been four years now and I continue to suffer my regrett. I am a single mother, went through abandonment when my child was six months old...how could he? Went through a ...
A. 14 September 2009: First of all, you have got to stop living with REGRET. It will only paralyze you from moving forward! I was once with a man who did not want want any children. Like you, I contemplated having a child, thinking he would change. We finally agreed ... (read in full...)
Does this make me racist?
Q. I'm 15, my parents are Asian, and my "tastes" in guys have varied quite a bit but, recently, I've noticed that I've only found myself attracted to Caucasian guys - guys of other races just don't do it for me. This has been going on for a while ...
A. 14 September 2009: No you are not a racist. And you cannot deny what you are or are not attracted to. If you're attracted to Caucasian men, then that's where your attraction is at. For instance, I've never been attracted to men with blonde hair. But that doesn't ... (read in full...)
How can I improve my self-confidence?
Q. I believe that most of my problems are rooted in a low self-esteem...I just came out of a 2 day seminar about giving presentations where the teacher gave me a pretty deep feedback in saying I was overall an ok presenter but reminded him of a little...
A. 26 August 2009: Video tape yourself giving a pretend speech. Then watch it as if you are one of the people in the audience and you will pick up valuable clues about yourself. I used to do little theater, and one time my b/f filmed one of our rehearsals. It was ... (read in full...)
Is my girlfriend a player?
Q. My question is about if I am being played by a woman or not. I am 36 and have been dating a 42 year old for over 13 months. When we met, she said she was divorced, a mother of 3, and just got out of a relationship with a younger man of an unknown ...
A. 26 August 2009: Yes she's a player with multiple playmates! Don't be added to her harem. You will never get a commitment or any kind of faithfulness out of this woman. She is used to juggling many men at the same time. Some people actually get addicted to the ... (read in full...)
Unlocking the mystery of the g spot
Q. So, I think all males are kind of consumed in this inferiority complex when it comes to sex. I am no exception to that rule. My fiance is absolutely incredible, but I am unable to make her orgasm... There has been a few fluke instances, but n...
A. 26 August 2009: If you know where her Clitoris is, you should have no difficulty bringing her to a screaming climax if you know how to lick, stroke, flick or fondle that little baby. The problem may be her. Some women are self conscious about "letting go"; some ... (read in full...)
Should I move on or let my best friend go?
Q. I've been best friends with this girl, let's call her Mary, since the 8th grade. We are now both seniors. Last year, Mary and I got into a fight. It was, I admit, over something not too small. Unintentionally, I ended up blowing her off by going to...
A. 22 August 2009: People come and go in our lives. Mary came, and then she went. One day you two may bump into each other when you're dropping off your kids at the daycare, and things may click just fine. You should never force a friendship. Relationships rarely ... (read in full...)
Webcam rumour and name-calling
Q. Moderator's note: OP asked two questions and they have been combined to save room on this page. Question 1: This is a very long story but I'm gonna try and make it as brief as possible. Quite a few months back I decided to create myself an msn accou...
A. 22 August 2009: Does no good to change your looks if you stay in contact with the same old people. You should drop the facebook account and just deal with people face to face. Make new friends and don't try to stay in contact with the old ones. It will ... (read in full...)
Is he not happy with me? And if I am this insecure, should I be in the relationship at all?
Q. I'm going to give lots of detail so that I may get a more objective response... My fiancee (B) and I have known eachother for 13 years, but we've only been together for 10 months, engaged for 6. We had tried dating before, but long distance wa...
A. 22 August 2009: Seems to me the ex point blank asked him if he was happy with you and his response was "so far U?"....I think he was pretty open about and his happiness even though he didn't mention the engagement. What I read in their message, was pity. His ex ... (read in full...)
Why did he take the condoms with him? How should I handle this issue?
Q. hi. I would like some advise. I have asked my friends but i feel that the more advise i get the better i can handle the situation. I met this guy, rather oddly in the street, about two months ago. ( we live about 200 miles from each other) We ...
A. 22 August 2009: I think it's too soon in the relationship for you to expect him to be faithful to you. I also think monogamous relationships only work out when both parties live in the same town. And one other tip is the fact that he's already told you he's not ... (read in full...)
How do I talk to this unreasonable man?
Q. My boyfriend has really been upsetting me lately. The relationship is only new and he already expects me to start sharing sexual fantasies and thoughts with him...though I am not comfortable doing so because I am still a virgin and have never opened ...
A. 22 August 2009: Trust is a big part of a relationship and he has violated yours. I wouldn't waste time on this guy, he neither respects you, or is trustworthy. What's next, putting your worst pictures/worst videos on youtube so you can be publicly humiliated? It's ... (read in full...)
Husband lunching with one of my female colleagues. Should I worry?
Q. My husband has come to take me to lunch at work, if I couldn't go he would ask one of the the other girls to go, someone always went with him. Thinking about it now it was mostly the same person. I feel this was a bit off. We were only a few minutes ...
A. 22 August 2009: Tell him if he comes to the office to have lunch with you, then he shouldn't be taking another woman to lunch just because you're busy. What happens when you have to travel for business and are gone over night? 'Well, you weren't avaiable for sex ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has alot of baggage!
Q. Hello people, i need some advice on my situation.i have been seeing my boyfriend for a little over a year he's a really nice guy we both have children, i have twins from a previous relationship and he has 5 kids by 4 different women. there's no ...
A. 22 August 2009: I think you should spend more time together, and not rush into marriage. What's the hurry? You'll learn more about him the longer you are together and then you can make a more informed decision about getting married.... (read in full...)
Should I tell him I read what he and his ex were talking about?
Q. My boyfriend and I went on vacation last week, and we met up with his ex-girlfriend and her boyfriend for drinks. My boyfriend dated this girl for about 2 years and he stopped dating her about 4 years ago. She emailed him the other day and he left ...
A. 22 August 2009: There are two things you should be concerned about. 1. He still talks to his ex and he gives her personal information. 2. He obviously doesn't love you enough to build a future with you. Not only should you bring up the e-mail that he left open ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure I want to be in this relationship, but I'm scared of breaking up and being lonely
Q. I'm really confused!! I'm 22 and currently with my boyfriend of two years. I dont know if he is the one, I dont even know if I really wanna be in this relationship anymore, but at the same time in not sure about breaking up either. I think im just ...
A. 23 July 2009: Perhaps you should consider moving where your family does. You don't have to live with them, but at least you'll have a network of familiar faces and you'll feel less alone. I think you already know the answer to your question. You have chosen ... (read in full...)
Should we give our child the freedom to choose or enforce one of our religions on our child?
Q. hi, umm so i found out a few weeks ago that me and my husband are going to have a baby, and i'm really excited but the only problem is that he's christian and i'm catholic. were both stressing out because we don't know what to raise our child, ...
A. 23 July 2009: Catholosism is dead in my opinion. People just go through the motions with no feeling or "relationship" with God. Christianity is more about building a relationship with God that is personal and lasting. But at the very least you should allow you ... (read in full...)
How do I start relying on myself to make me happy?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for around 8 months now. We are completely different in so many ways eg our outlook on life, what we like to do for fun etc. He constantly wants to be out doing things, whereas im happy relaxing watching the ...
A. 20 July 2009: I do think there are some signs of trouble in this relationship. If it's possible, I think you should figure out a way to live in the same city if possible. (yes, it will probably be YOU that has to move) but you'll never know for sure if this ... (read in full...)
No sex on my wedding night!
Q. I am writing this a day after getting married. We had a really special day and we retired to our room about 1am. My wife looked amazing and I couldn't wait to consumate the marriage. Unfortunately despite my advances she simply was not interest...
A. 20 July 2009: I think you should have hired a baby-sitter for the all important wedding night and she should've made the effort. What's done is done. Back up and re-group. It was not the typical wedding night you invisioned, otherwise you would've been ALONE. ... (read in full...)
I can't stand her ex to be around her.
Q. I fell in love with a wonderful woman when i was going thru my divorce but I have a major issue. She was separated from her husband when she was with me and went back and forth a couple of times but now she assures me she is done with him and we ...
A. 11 June 2009: Just coming out of a divorce (or about to be divorced) I think she's weighing her options. She's probably not ready to settle into something permanent with anyone and it sounds like she has some oats to sow. Be prepared for a bumpy ride ahead. ... (read in full...)
I can't stand her ex to be around her.
Q. I fell in love with a wonderful woman when i was going thru my divorce but I have a major issue. She was separated from her husband when she was with me and went back and forth a couple of times but now she assures me she is done with him and we ...
A. 29 April 2009: I would imagine once her divorce is final all these weird games of hide-the boyfriend will go away and you can accompany anywhere she goes. This will probably go a long ways toward making you feel better.... (read in full...)
I have tried my best and now feel I am just being taken for an idiot
Q. Before i start this post I would like to just say that i dont actually have problem with potential partners having children etc when you meet them but the problem is this.. when i met my partner he told me he had a child.. the mother of the ch...
A. 13 April 2009: I think there could very well be more to their exclusive visits than just patting the baby and giving him a bottle. It seems like in their divorce settlement, there would have been some sort of visitation rights in regards to his son. Now I ... (read in full...)
His lack of intimacy makes me think he might be gay! Your thoughts?
Q. Why my boyfriend is not interested in itimacy? I have been dating a guy I met for a couple of months. He was in a long marriage and his wife left him. I would say this guy has some feminine characteristics even in his walk. His house has no clu...
A. 25 March 2009: You didn't say how long it's been since his marriage broke up. He may just be "gun shy". It's also possible, that while you are an attractive woman, he may not be attracted to you. Maybe he's just not sure about his feelings for you just yet; it's ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend too much to handle
Q. I need help...I'm 33 and my girlfriend and soon to be fiance is 27.We love each other very much and we both know that we want to spend the rest of our lives with each other, but I have several problems with her and I need to know if its me, is it ...
A. 8 February 2009: I suggest you postpone your wedding plans unless you want to spend the rest of your life exactly like this. Your girlfriend has total control in this relationship, you are the puppet and do not delude yourself into thinking things are just going to ... (read in full...)
Go to Singapore w b/f? Or stay for friends/family
Q. Hey everyone, i have a dilemma!! I have been with my boyfriend 6 years and he might be going to uni to study in singapore! it wont be before summer, but im trying to figure out whether to go with him or not. Its hard coz my sister is pregnant and ...
A. 18 January 2009: You have to ask yourself if your relationship is strong enough to endure the whole, long distance thing. Can he be trusted on campus far, far away, where there are lots of other single, college girls looking for guys to party with and hang out? ... (read in full...)
It just seems like he doesn't care
Q. Me and my boyfriend are having problems at the minute. We keep arguing about stupid little things, and I always get upset and start crying. When I do this, it's like he doesn't care. He won't hug me, or anything like that, he just blanks it out. It ...
A. 18 January 2009: It sounds like he's just not that into you. It doesn't mean he won't eventually be there, you just arrived there first. Men usually take longer to develop lasting feelings for a woman, whereas we tend to develop them rather quickly. I would try ... (read in full...)
Has trust been broken? Can I love her agian? Lies?????
Q. I am a married man of 10 years. Recently I discovered my wife has been deceiving me over the amount of contact with an EX of hers. I was cool with the level of contact I was lead to believe was going on..... but it is about 4 times the amount I...
A. 19 October 2008: So I guess what you're saying is, that you're wife has been "friendly" with her ex for your entire marriage of 10 years. Did they have kids together? Because if they were previously married and had kids, I'd think they are remaining friends for ... (read in full...)
I feel as if I don't get a lot of his attention any more...
Q. This is kinda long, but I feel as though I need to explain. I have been with my boyfriend since december 2007. He is now 24, I am now 19. We became really close really fast. Everything has always been great. My dad loves him, my mom loves him, his ...
A. 19 October 2008: Your b/f has probably never had to deal with death before, much less someone so close and dear to him. He is also wrestling with his own immortality, even though he may not say it in so many words. When we lose someone close to us, we can't help ... (read in full...)
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