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*ugarbuns

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Why do these women feel the need to be secretive?

Q.   Why do some women save a guy's number under a females name...

A.   31 December 2012: Probably because she's already in a relationship and doesn't want him to find out she just scooped up the number of some guy she met on her so called "girls night out". It spells trouble. Trust me.... (read in full...)

My husband would prefer I not take medicine for my anxiety. I stop and we suffer in our marriage!

Q.   Firstly, I understand nobody's perfect. Within each and every one of us lies a chemical imbalance of some sort. Mine is Generalized Anxiety Disorder. This is caused by my Attention deficit Disorder. ( ADHD) I recently learned this from my Psychiat...

A.   3 November 2012: So what are you like when you ARE taking the medications? And P.S. there are ways to take it when he doesn't know it. Just stash it in your bathroom out of sight and each morning when you brush your teeth, take your meds. Don't advertise it, don't ... (read in full...)

I'm married, he's married. I guess I'm stupid and need help in trying to end things

Q.   I am a married woman having an affair with a married man that I have reconnected with from college. I am in love with him and he says he is in love with me, but seems to not want to commit to a timeframe for leaving his wife. His elderly father has ...

A.   3 November 2012: You are being used for sex and sex is an escape from his problems. Clearly it's all about him since he prefers oral sex over the real thing. Probably in his mind, that's not really 'cheating' so he can still go home afterwards and sleep with his ... (read in full...)

Beneficial friendships

Q.   I prefer having sexual friendships with long time female friends over having a relationship with a woman say from a dating site or met through friends. I had a long time friend who's married to a drunk beg me for sex. I have to say it was some of ...

A.   3 November 2012: You are an emotionally unavailable man. Meaning, you don't mind using women for sex, but in a real relationship, there's more going on that just sex. You have to develop real social skills. You have to learn to compromise (it's not all about your ... (read in full...)

Out of all my past gf's she's the one who loved me the least yet I find her the hardest to get over.

Q.   Has anyone seen that movie '500 days of summer'? Well I think it best sums up my "relationship" with this girl. Its been over a year now since I've known her and I've been pursuing. But after I saw this movie for a 2nd time I just learned a lot. ...

A.   3 November 2012: You seem like a nice guy, but clearly you weren't "the one" for her. She may not have really been attracted to you and since you fell hard you failed to see those things until much later, when the relationship seemed to be forever in limbo. There is ... (read in full...)

He's coming on too strong -- should I just walk away?

Q.   I met a man on an online dating site just under two weeks ago, he is 56, I am 50, he is stationed in Afghanistan and his tour will be over on Dec 15th. He was married for 18 years and divorced for 7, I was married for 15 years and divorced for 3. M...

A.   3 November 2012: Yikes! Run!... (read in full...)

Has anybody been with someone who used to do a lot of drugs?

Q.   My boyfriend used to be a heroin addict. He's pretty much done every drug under the sun (pot, cocaine, acid, ecstasy and heroin which he was addicted to for 4 years) and did that for several years from high school till his mid 20s. He's now 31. ...

A.   13 September 2012: As long as he's not showing signs of going back into his former drug use, let him enjoy his memories. They remind him of a simpler time in his life, kind of like when we all believed in Santa Claus, before the reality hit us between the eyes. My ... (read in full...)

My Co-worker has a Gf but keeps on winking at me. I'm interested, but how should I indicate that? Or could I be mistaking his intentions?

Q.   I have a coworker that has been winking at me for sometime. I didnt really pay it any attention at first because I thought that he was just friendly. However,I really noticed it this last time when he winked really slow and pointed his finger at me ...

A.   13 September 2012: I wouldn't give him a second thought. He's in a committed relationship and although he's a bit of a flirt, he is completely off limits to you and you should behave accordingly. Until he comes to you and says point blank, "My girlfriend and I have ... (read in full...)

What is worse? To live with someone you don't desire yet still love or live with a broken heart because the one you love doesn't want you?

Q.   Which is worse, to live with somebody you don't want to be with anymore in a sexual way, but love them or to live life with a broken heart because the person you love doesn't want to be with you and you can't live without them?...

A.   13 September 2012: I think it might be worse to live with a broken heart because the one you love....doesn't love you anymore. I am sorry for your pain. I know what you are going through.... (read in full...)

I don't understand why he would leave his amazing wife for a much younger woman? Help me understand so I can talk to him!

Q.   hello aunts, never thought i would be on here. ive seen alot of people writing about age gap. im trying to understand my best friends relationship, ive known him since we were 20 years old. when he got married i was his best man, and the woman he ...

A.   13 September 2012: Your friend is a fool. Call it a mid-life melt down. But sometimes it think when a man is with such a great catch (his wife of course) there's no challenge. She's perfect in every way. What he wants is a "project" and it would appear, that's exactly ... (read in full...)

Should I acknowledge my ex's birthday?

Q.   I recently broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years. It was a mutual agreement as the relationship wasn't working out. We haven't spoke in 3 months since the break up. (we both decided never to speak again) Her birthday is coming up soon and I'm ...

A.   13 September 2012: If you both agreed to never talk again, why in the world would you care to wish her a happy birthday? Just because you were once friends does not mean you will be friends again. It's kind of like trying to put the toothpaste back into the tube. Give ... (read in full...)

Sisters have cut me out, why do people do this to each other?

Q.   I need some help and advice as my heart is breaking. I have a sister who has some sort of mental issue. She's a compulsive liar, a master manipulator, a character assassin and will twist your words around until you don't recognize them. From her ...

A.   5 September 2012: OMG! What a dysfunctional bunch of sisters you have. Cut the cord on both of them and move on with your life. Do you really need this drama? Yes, we are "programmed" to cling to ou family, but honestly not when they cause this kind of stress. ... (read in full...)

Am I driving him to drink?

Q.   I have been with my husband for 3yrs now. We got married in feb 2012... He has a drinking problem. He stopped for 6 months that is why I agreed to marry him. I have 3 kids he has 2 we bought a house a yr and half ago. Here is the problem and I don't ...

A.   5 September 2012: God no you are not! He's done this to himself. He's been juggling two women for months. He's drinking to drown out his guilt. He's been screwing around behind your back and you want to blame yourself? Come on! He may possibly be an alcoholic, ... (read in full...)

Why am I always longing for more?

Q.   So, what is going on? I am married, have a faithful wife, and I am still longing for more? What for? Not necessarily sex. I know that. Attention? Partly. I had a crush on a French girl for a long time; had to fix it, went to see her, confessed, ...

A.   9 August 2012: Men value the chase. Once they catch a suitable wife the often don't know what to do next. The chase is over. Now a wise man will continue to keep just enough tension in the relationship that he continues to chase his wife. But it's a difficult ... (read in full...)

I found photos of female co-workers butts on my boyfriends phone. He says I'm crazy but could he be screwing around?

Q.   So my fiancé and I got engaged in June this year. We had a baby together late last year. We have trust issues. Him because o his very serious ex relationship, and me because he is naturally a flirt and used to be a player before his ex. He used to ...

A.   18 July 2012: It could be that his sleazy friend took the photos hoping for a little fireworks between you once you discovered them. Could be he took them and is just playing dumb about them to look "innocent". His friend is a bad influence, but birds of a ... (read in full...)

How do you stay friends after breaking up? Is it possible?

Q.   i was with my boyfriend for 1year and 9 months, yesterday he broke up with me, we agreed to stay friends, i havent seen him since but i think that it is doable, but others say staying friends is impossible, what can i do to make it easier to stay ...

A.   18 July 2012: No it's not possible. At least not at first. Give it 5 or 6 years...then maybe.... (read in full...)

Married 27 years, love each other like brother/sister. Do I stay here miserable or move on?

Q.   I'm 45 years old. I married my wife when I was 17, and we've been married for 27 years. We've raised 4 kids together and we have 3 grandkids. Our relationship has been very tough almost from the beginning. We have separated a few times, but I always ...

A.   18 July 2012: Try a trial seperation first. One of you moves into an apartment for 6 months. Limit your contact to each other. Maybe plan one night together every couple of weeks and see how you both feel about the arrangement. The key is communication. It could ... (read in full...)

Would you be upset if your bestfriend started "fooling around" with someone that you absolutely hated?

Q.   Would you be upset if your bestfriend started "fooling around" with someone that you absolutely hated? Back gorund story sorry if its long. im 18 an both my bf and bestfriend are 20 My bestfriend is also my boyfriends bestfriend (my boyfrien...

A.   18 July 2012: Sorry but I would be upset if my b/f fooled around with ANYONE other than me. Regardless of who she was or how much I did or didn't like her.... (read in full...)

Is this marriage over or is this a phase?

Q.   Hi, I am a bit confused as to where this is going and need some advise please. Your advise in the past has been really very helpful. I have been married abt 13 years and in the time my husband was always antisocial and controlling though in a very ...

A.   13 July 2012: Before you continue in your marriage you have to understand WHY he cheated. This will give you some insight as to whether he will possibly cheat again. The other thing you have to ask yourself is if you still love him enough to overlook this ... (read in full...)

My husband of 20 years left me for a sugar girl who is 24 years his junior. Any advice?

Q.   my husband of 20 years left me for a girl that is 24 years younger than him. im new to the site but could use all the help i can get. im getting better each day. i still love him very much, and unfortunatly and am still in hopes that this ...

A.   13 July 2012: I see this way too much; A woman spends the best years of her life with a man, and once he begins to make good money he feels "entitled" to do whatever he wants. He takes on a girl half his age, who doesn't even work. She is a "project" for him. ... (read in full...)

Is he cheating, or is my past catching up with me?

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months n we were on a solid path. It's been work to secure him of his trust issues as well as mine. The last relationship I was in ended over a year ago to a cheating man. So before I met my current bf I went ...

A.   13 July 2012: Usually Chlamydia comes from recent exposure, not something that happened 6 months ago. Given that your b/f's ex has been putting it out there with him, it could be that he bumped into her when he was 'out with the guys' (if there were any guys invo... (read in full...)

I've been married two years, and have nothing in common with my husband, not even sex.

Q.   Hi there, im all new to this! I met my now husband 2yrs ago, we married year after we meet. We did get on well, but very quickly i found we hav nothin to talk about, we can go a whole evening without so much of an exchange of a single word, we ...

A.   13 July 2012: How is your husband handling this arrangement of sleeping in seperate beds, being in a sexless marriage. You have very low self esteem. But I'm glad you are finally making so changes to lose the weight because it's affecting your self esteem and ... (read in full...)

B/f seems to have more time for neighbors than me! How do I stop being so available?

Q.   I have been with the same man for almost 4 years, we're together every other weekend, one night during the week and every Sunday evening. We talk almost every evening, but that's usually because I'm the caller. Over the last year my texts go ...

A.   11 July 2012: Frankly I don't think he will chase you. He seems to like the convenience of ready-made entertainment, no effort required. This could be in part, because the rest of his life, i.e. his career is so structured he needs the uncomplicated, craziness of ... (read in full...)

He left me out of his birthday celebrations ...

Q.   Today is my boyfriend of 3 years birthday. We have spent my birthdays and his with friends and family and even had our own little celebrations. I had told him last week that I found a babysitter and that we could hang out. Birthdays are special and ...

A.   7 July 2012: Did you tell him how this made you feel?....It is rather odd to me. But how have things been between the two of you here lately? Has he mentioned anything about needing "space" or wanting to see other people. Clearly he is not behaving like a guy ... (read in full...)

I'm not seeing any love and she's putting me through hell

Q.   I am a 51 white male and I met a 51 black female on a sex site. We hit off great and with in 3 months we had fallen in love and were almost inseparable during that time. She had a sales job set up before we met that was to last 6 months. I live in ...

A.   7 July 2012: She's flighty and unstable. You should let her go and move on. There's only pain in your future if you stick it out with her.... (read in full...)

Fathers in the delivery room: who should have the final say?

Q.   I had an interesting conversation with my boyfriend earlier about fathers in the delivery room. I'd like to find out what others make of the issue! My boyfriend said he'd rather not be in present, but if the mother wanted him there he'd compl...

A.   7 July 2012: That depends. Is he going to faint or throw up? If he's that weak he'll be no help to you and you don't need your doctor or nuses getting sidetracked picking him up off the floor when they need to be focusing on you and the baby's arrival. Or is he ... (read in full...)

Do you think this could be more then friendship?

Q.   I am 40 years old and coming out of a dead relationship. By chance during an office reorganisation I ended up sitting at a desk next to a girl that I knew a little bit but not well. She is the same age and single, divorced. We sat beside each other ...

A.   7 July 2012: The one thing you have failed rather pointedly to mention is whether or not you are still living with another woman who thinks you are still hers. You may feel that what you have at home is "dead" but perhaps your other half does not see it this ... (read in full...)

When will my mom wake up??

Q.   What is wrong with my mum? Will she ever wake up?:(? My mum has been married to my dad for 21years now and my dad hasn't worked in 6 years. While my mum works 4jobs a day cleaning to pay for the rent, electric, gas, water bills, phon...

A.   7 July 2012: She's afraid of the unknown. She's afraid to be alone. Being with a lump of a husband is better than emptiness and the fear that she'll never find anyone at her age. Honestly have you tried to talk to your Dad? He's really the one you need to talk ... (read in full...)

It bothers me the way that my b/f connects with women

Q.   My boyfriend is a very outgoing person and he loves to meet new people. When we go out, he'll often be very friendly to the waitress and get to know her or it could be anyone that is new among a group of existing friends. But more often that not, it ...

A.   12 May 2012: I think your boyfriend's behavior is a little inappropriate, especially since you have already told him that it makes you uncomfortable and then he still does it. I also think tha the has ulterior motives when he seeks out other women and really ... (read in full...)

How do I get my Bf to respect my opinions? And stop him telling unfunny jokes?

Q.   Hi, thanks for taking your time to read this! So, I've been with my current boyfriend for a little over seven months now, and overall; he makes me very happy. We click very well with each other and we have a lot of similar interests. Th...

A.   12 May 2012: Just like you told us. Up front, direct, to the point. That's how you get his attention. Non-emotional direct words. That's what guys relate to. Good luck.... (read in full...)

He's a great guy. But I don't want a relationship now. How to handle my confusion?

Q.   He is truly amazing, he is everything I every wanted in a man, except for a few things, one is his and my children don't get along very well so every other weekend is super stressful for me. Finances are super tight so he can't contibute as much as I...

A.   12 May 2012: If you don't want to marry this guy, then don't. In fact it sounds like he should move out and you should not try living together for awhile. I really think you just rushed into things a little too fast. Try living apart for awhile. Give it 3 ... (read in full...)

I need help deciding whether to end my 6 year relationship or not....

Q.   Contemplating ending a 6 year relationship with a good man who loves me. Nobody's perfect and I have ongoing beefs with him but he is loyal and true and MAY be doing his best to make me happy-- I need your input to decide. We have very differ...

A.   12 May 2012: It sounds like you need to keep talking to him about what you've said to us. You need to tell him that you want Saturday with him and you're tired of how her schedule interrupts your quality time as a couple. Until you open your mouth and talk to ... (read in full...)

Is it true, what my doctor says, that erectile dysfunction is just a part of ageing, and is not a result of any medical problem?

Q.   Do you think is this true, what my doctor says, the erectile dysfunction is just a part of aging, and its not a result of any medical problem? I have very sever erectile dysfunction, and a total lack of desire. He checked everything , did go to ...

A.   9 May 2012: If you have high blood pressure it can affect your winkie. If you are taking BP medications and other meds those can also have an affect. And yes it comes with age. It's a bummer but it's true. ... (read in full...)

What makes a man want a FWB and not a relationship?

Q.   Hi everyone just a quick question all the guys I meet only want a fwb, what makes a man want a fwb with you but not actually a proper relationship? thank you ...

A.   9 May 2012: Sex without a committment. Sex without ever having to know that person, or feel anything for that person; without having to compromise or think of anyone but yourself. It's the perfect arrangement for many, many guys. Especially the immature ... (read in full...)

I need help deciding whether to end my 6 year relationship or not....

Q.   Contemplating ending a 6 year relationship with a good man who loves me. Nobody's perfect and I have ongoing beefs with him but he is loyal and true and MAY be doing his best to make me happy-- I need your input to decide. We have very differ...

A.   9 May 2012: Your man is an "enabler" and he's stunting the growth of his own daughter with his "love". But before you throw in the towel on your relationship, try visiting with her casually one day in a non-threatening way. Say, while you're chaufering her ... (read in full...)

Now I hate that his job takes him away 3 days a week! Help me accept this!

Q.   my husband has always been a truck driver when i meet hem thats what he was doing he would leave monday be back tuesday nite work in twon wednesday then leave thursday and be back friday night and was off for the weekend when i got pregnant he stop ...

A.   9 May 2012: I commend your spouse to trying to support his family. What you have to understand is that he may not know what else he can do to earn that kind of money. What other skill set does he possess? Maybe he never went to college. Maybe he doesn't ... (read in full...)

I'm unsure if my boyfriend is over his ex or not

Q.   Dear Cupid, My current boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year. There have been a few things that have happened lately that have made me wonder if he is over his ex or not. I will write out the clues and would be able to tell me your opi...

A.   9 May 2012: Yes you should be worried. He seems to be working his way back into her life, and checking on her growth progress along the way. So he doesn't make the same mistake WITH HER. The fact that he's being honest with you, is easin ghis guilt and helping ... (read in full...)

I'm worried that my boyfriend compares me to his ex-girlfriend

Q.   I was talking with my boyfriend the topic of his ex-girlfriend came up and I've been a bit uncomfortable since. Not because we were talking about it but because his ex was the total polar opposite to me. From his description she is very social, ...

A.   8 May 2012: You are being compared. And yes it is making you feel insecure. It's natural. But why don't you find out why they broke up if she was all that great? Did he break it off, if so then she obviously had some flaws. Maybe she was so used to sleeping ... (read in full...)

My friend wants to leave his controlling wife but now she is pregnant

Q.   My best friend marriage is a disaster, he always loved another women but still married his current wife. She know about his feelings and was sure that he will get over it. But last year it was very hard so he was going to break up with her and get ...

A.   8 May 2012: He's a big boy. He chose to marry this woman. No one put a gun to his head. She certainly wasn't pregnant at the time he decided to marry her so he obviously loved her and wanted to spend his life with her. Perhaps her controlling nature comes from ... (read in full...)

does deleting his texts and not telling me anything make my husband guilty off something

Q.   Hi i have been married for 21 years my husband is a lorry driver,he started going into a cafe about three years ago for his breakfast and became friendly with the owners her husband knows mine through the lorrys as hes also a lorry driver,but his ...

A.   7 March 2012: If I were you, I'd start going to the cafe with him for breakfast! And keep going every day. If he suggests a different restaurant say no. You really LOVE their food. Tell him it'll be romantic for the two of you to have breakfast together again. If ... (read in full...)

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