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*tina agony aunt

*tina

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Hi, I'm Stina! I've been an agony aunt here on Dear Cupid since July 2006 and became a site moderator the following November. I've not been able to be on here as much as I used to be, but that's because I've just started a new job. Hopefully I'll be able to be on here much more in the future. But for now, it's office work for me during the day!

Anyway, I grew up being very independent and because of that have always been able to work out problems in my life pretty well. My friends have often times come to me to help sort out what they should do in tough situations, as well. Hopefully I'll be able to help you out if you ever need advice, too! ^_^

As for who I "really" am - I'm 26, an atheist, and married. I live in beautiful Charm City, Murderland with my husband, our three hairless chinese crested pups (Ivy, Zoey, and Duncan), one smooshy floofhead dwarf hamster (Budgie; RIP Dr. Sushi T_T) and one huffy hedgehog (Nacho). I'm a quality assurance engineer and a graphic designer. My artwork has been shown all over the world including the US, France, Algeria, Australia and more. ^_^

I'm also addicted to cute animals, japanese pop culture, reggaeton, 80's hip hop and breakdancing (can't do it!, love to watch it!), experimental and avant garde films, food and tattoos (self designed).

If anyone cares to see a "real" picture of me, you can see one here: http://sushi-and-pears.livejournal.com/profile (Check out my uber-cool snob nose! haha) I'm posting this in hopes that other aunts/uncles will post their pictures. I'm always interested to see what all of us actually looks like! ^_^

I have a myspace and a livejournal, so if you want to know anymore about me for some reason I'll post the links. (If you'd like to add me as a friend on either of these, please just message me here or on either site! I've made my accounts private to keep out the weirdos.)

Livejournal: http://sushi-and-pears.livejournal.com

1234567891011Next > [24 pages, 923 answers]

Why is she afraid of the dark?

Q.   Hiya i have always known my wife has a fear of the dark but she has never admitted it apart from when she was little. But for some reason since afew weeks ago she doesn't settle very well. I have asked if theres anything wrong but she says no. I ...

A.   23 October 2007: Hi Anonymous, This is just one of many suggestions I'm sure you'll get, but perhaps your wife suffers from night terrors? I'm not sure if you've heard of night terrors before, but I'll explain what I've experienced (I've suffered from th... (read in full...)

This is an emergency! How do I cure a bad sore throat?

Q.   Hi all! Is there anyone who has a tried and tested solution to get rid of a very bad sore throat??? I went to the doctors yesterday, he said it was a viral infection, drink plenty, rest loads and have paracetamols. I am off work, it is getting wo...

A.   23 October 2007: Hi Waterloo, Aww! Sorry to hear that you're sick! Well, I have a quick solution that will only mask the problem, really, but at least it will make you feel better. Have you tried using a numbing throat spray? I've used them before when I ab... (read in full...)

I was told to 'go back to africa' by my boyfriend - am I over reacting by breaking it off?

Q.   Till recently i was in an interracial relationship (black and white). My boyfriend and I got into a political discussion and he told me to go back to Africa and I broke it off. Some of my friends say it was just a slip of the tongue and it's no big ...

A.   23 October 2007: Anonymous agony aunt, If you wish to discuss this matter anymore, then please private message me. Your last comment did not address the question asker at all and has brought nothing new to the table. The whole conversation is directed specific... (read in full...)

I was told to 'go back to africa' by my boyfriend - am I over reacting by breaking it off?

Q.   Till recently i was in an interracial relationship (black and white). My boyfriend and I got into a political discussion and he told me to go back to Africa and I broke it off. Some of my friends say it was just a slip of the tongue and it's no big ...

A.   22 October 2007: Hello anonymous agony aunt, "Well I guess I responded the way I did because of the region I live in and because of my own personal experiences." I think this is where the problem lies. I based my answer on the history of the phrase "go back to ... (read in full...)

I was told to 'go back to africa' by my boyfriend - am I over reacting by breaking it off?

Q.   Till recently i was in an interracial relationship (black and white). My boyfriend and I got into a political discussion and he told me to go back to Africa and I broke it off. Some of my friends say it was just a slip of the tongue and it's no big ...

A.   22 October 2007: Correction to my last post: (#4) "...then why *can't* an intelligent and meaningful discussion and/or debate take place..."... (read in full...)

I was told to 'go back to africa' by my boyfriend - am I over reacting by breaking it off?

Q.   Till recently i was in an interracial relationship (black and white). My boyfriend and I got into a political discussion and he told me to go back to Africa and I broke it off. Some of my friends say it was just a slip of the tongue and it's no big ...

A.   22 October 2007: Hello again, Because the last poster left her comment anonymously, I cannot private message her. Anonymous agony aunt, I'd like to know: 1. "Do you think he meant it in a bad way?" When is a racist comment not meant in a 'bad way?' 2. "...... (read in full...)

Is it ok for a married female to write to my husband?

Q.   hi is it ok that a married female writes my hubby that he needs to drive tonight and that she misses him ? they not friends but she heard that me an my hubby have some issues so what should i think? I do trust my hubby but asking me what was ...

A.   22 October 2007: Hi Anonymous, She said she misses him and you go on to say that they're not friends. That's weird. Since you say that you trust your husband, I'm just going to assume things are being worked out between you two and this woman is just very pus... (read in full...)

I want to put things right - what can I do to make her feel special?

Q.   how can i suprise my girlfriend? we have been a bit rocky at the moment and i want to put it behind us and move forward...

A.   22 October 2007: (Hmm, well that english site I recommended is apparently for businesses, so you could just visit the main site to see what they have or just google it to find online vendors. It's not like you have to buy San-X, though. You know your girlfriend ... (read in full...)

I want to put things right - what can I do to make her feel special?

Q.   how can i suprise my girlfriend? we have been a bit rocky at the moment and i want to put it behind us and move forward...

A.   22 October 2007: Hi Anonymous, I think that first you two need to discuss your relationship and what's going on if you haven't done that already. Let her know how you feel, where you want the relationship to go, how you want to make things between you both str... (read in full...)

I want to have sex, will it hurt?

Q.   im 12 years old and my boyfreind is 23 years old,we want to have sex will it hurt and will he have to force his penis in me?...

A.   22 October 2007: I have a feeling that this question is bunch of crap, but if it isn't: You need to realize that you're being used, your "boyfriend" will end up in jail, you may have psychiatric problems in the future or problems with trust and having sex, and... (read in full...)

I was told to 'go back to africa' by my boyfriend - am I over reacting by breaking it off?

Q.   Till recently i was in an interracial relationship (black and white). My boyfriend and I got into a political discussion and he told me to go back to Africa and I broke it off. Some of my friends say it was just a slip of the tongue and it's no big ...

A.   22 October 2007: Hi Fiery, I'm going to be blunt here, so sorry if it hurts your feelings...but, your ex is a straight up asshole; I would have broken up with him if I were you, as well. He really let his true, uneducated, callous feelings show through, didn't ... (read in full...)

Is it ok for your boyfriend to be smaller than you?

Q.   is it ok for your boyfriend to be smaller than you?...

A.   19 October 2007: Hello clowetinka , I hardly ever write about someone's specific comment, but I have to address the anonymous commenter who said "definantly not ok. I mean what if you wear some stilletos, he's guna be a wimp next to you, no offense. ..." This is ... (read in full...)

How do I convince my wife to have sex with another man??

Q.   Please offer suggestions as to how to convince my late-50s wife to have sex with another man for our mutual pleasure. Although she has not always been faithful to me (she had an affair many years ago early in our marriage), she simply refuses to do ...

A.   19 October 2007: Hello Kenny, I just saw your question. I thought you just wanted your wife to have sex with another man? If she begins to actually like him in more than a sexual way (you said she told you that he's pleasant and interesting) then this might en... (read in full...)

Regarding sex, I want to reject my husband on our date tonight to show him how I feel when he constantly does it to me!

Q.   Sex is great when we have it, we just don't have it that often. We have sex maybe once a week to appease me. That's not what I want and how I want it. I want him to want it/me. He says he does when questioned but he does not show it and does not say ...

A.   19 October 2007: I think you need to ask him why he asked if you still loved him. And I think you need to ask the same question to him. I think that if this sort of thing keeps happening, you two really ought to consider going to couples counseling. (It already ... (read in full...)

My bf's constant calling is driving me crazy!

Q.   My boyfriend likes to spend hours on the phone everyday he phones me about 20 times a day, this is driving me mad and I don't want to spend all the time on the phone he thinks it's because I don't want to be with him anymore which isn't the case ...

A.   19 October 2007: Hi Jayne, Have you tried talking about this with him in person? Have you tried to bring it up in a gentle way - without sounding annoyed, etc but rather concerned for the relationship? He might feel bad about you not wanting to take his calls be... (read in full...)

How many dates should I have with him before we sleep together?

Q.   First date with recent divorcee is imminent. What I want to know is how many dates should I have with him before I sleep with him? I'm separated, and haven't slept with anyone except my husband of 20 years!...

A.   19 October 2007: Hello there anonymous, Well, the number of dates people have before having sex is differernt from person to person. Some people have sex on the first date - others wait until they're married. The best advice I can give you is to talk about it... (read in full...)

He's not entirely sure he 'got out' in time. I'm so worried! How reliable is the withdrawal method?

Q.   hi, straight to the point here. I had unprotected sex recently, mid cycle. My partner and i were using the withdrawel method, we have done this before, however, afterwards he was feeling a bit panoid, leading me now to be paranoid, he's n...

A.   19 October 2007: Hi Anonymous, In short, yes, you should be concerned. How recently did you two have sex? If it was in the last three days, go get the morning after pill! It will make you feel sick to your stomach, but it's either that or possibly becoming... (read in full...)

Regarding sex, I want to reject my husband on our date tonight to show him how I feel when he constantly does it to me!

Q.   Sex is great when we have it, we just don't have it that often. We have sex maybe once a week to appease me. That's not what I want and how I want it. I want him to want it/me. He says he does when questioned but he does not show it and does not say ...

A.   18 October 2007: "stina, take what you see on TV with a grain of salt, they are trying to make money." Oh, I agree. I've worked in advertising - the whole process and all of the exaggerations/lies can be ridiculous and extremely frustrating. I sometimes wanted to ... (read in full...)

Regarding sex, I want to reject my husband on our date tonight to show him how I feel when he constantly does it to me!

Q.   Sex is great when we have it, we just don't have it that often. We have sex maybe once a week to appease me. That's not what I want and how I want it. I want him to want it/me. He says he does when questioned but he does not show it and does not say ...

A.   18 October 2007: I can't look up "erectile dysfunction" at work (lol) but I've heard enough about it from people here and on television to think that it's a real problem. But if anyone is unsure of a medical problem - whether it be ED or whatever - then it's always ... (read in full...)

Regarding sex, I want to reject my husband on our date tonight to show him how I feel when he constantly does it to me!

Q.   Sex is great when we have it, we just don't have it that often. We have sex maybe once a week to appease me. That's not what I want and how I want it. I want him to want it/me. He says he does when questioned but he does not show it and does not say ...

A.   18 October 2007: (Also, I've noticed that there have been quite a few posts on here about erectile dysfunction. Maybe your husband pushes sex to the side because he's too embarassed to talk about his problem. That's something you may want to consider and try to ... (read in full...)

Regarding sex, I want to reject my husband on our date tonight to show him how I feel when he constantly does it to me!

Q.   Sex is great when we have it, we just don't have it that often. We have sex maybe once a week to appease me. That's not what I want and how I want it. I want him to want it/me. He says he does when questioned but he does not show it and does not say ...

A.   18 October 2007: Hi Anonymous, I don't have much to add to this, but I do want to say that I don't think it'd be a good idea to reject your husband on the date tonight. I think you should do the total opposite - go out, have a blast, show him how much fun you ... (read in full...)

I think I'm ugly. How can I get the guys??

Q.   Hey, i'm really ugly, i swear i look like a monkey, i cant get any lads, please help, i need help, i cant take being ugly anymore!!...

A.   18 October 2007: Hi BQ, Oh, come on, now. You are probably not as bad looking as you think you are. Everyone is always harder on themselves than they should be. If you're really that worried about it, then try and accent your best physical feature. Is it ... (read in full...)

My friend and I like the same boy - she asked him out, but *we* got together at the dance! What should I do?

Q.   hi. I need helping trying to figure out what to do.I like this guy and I have since 7th grade. But My friend who i hated in seventh grade but now were really close also likes him. And asked him out knowing that i love him alot! well him and I had a ...

A.   18 October 2007: Oops! I meant to write "But in all fairness, if she didn't think you were going to get together with him and try to start a relationship, why wouldn't that leave him open to starting a relationship with *her*?"... (read in full...)

My friend and I like the same boy - she asked him out, but *we* got together at the dance! What should I do?

Q.   hi. I need helping trying to figure out what to do.I like this guy and I have since 7th grade. But My friend who i hated in seventh grade but now were really close also likes him. And asked him out knowing that i love him alot! well him and I had a ...

A.   18 October 2007: Hi there, When you say that your friend asked him out, does that mean that they are now in an exclusive relationship with one another? If they are, then you should probably try and find someone else. Do you really want to be known as someone ... (read in full...)

My last girlfriend said I was 'boring'

Q.   My last girlfriend said I was 'boring'. How can I make myself more attractive to women or I am I taking things to heart too much?...

A.   18 October 2007: Hello Tommy, It may not necessarily mean that you are "boring," perhaps you were both interested in different things. To me, it just sounds like you may need to find someone who shares the same interests as you. Don't worry - I think the majo... (read in full...)

Could I be pregant??

Q.   Hi, I really need some help. My bf is my first seuxal partner, I have been intimate with my bf for about 10 months and we have always used condoms (i am not on any other birth control). Last night we had sex and i was really dry but we continue...

A.   17 October 2007: Hi - your questions aren't stupid! ^_^ That's good news about not feeling sick to your stomach!! Lets hope it stays that way! If it does start to hurt, though, I still recommend green tea. It helps a lot with stomach aches (I can't remember ... (read in full...)

I'm unhappily married and recently started an affair. Is this so wrong?

Q.   I am unhappily married and i think it is too late. i recently started an affair with a man from my past who is also married. he blows hot and cold. i think we are soul mates and believe i am falling in love. i would be quite happy to stay in my ...

A.   17 October 2007: Hello Sandyo, Have you and your husband been to couples counseling? If not, you may want to look into it. Perhaps with the help of a professional you two could get your marriage back on track - back to the way it was when you first married ... (read in full...)

Could I be pregant??

Q.   Hi, I really need some help. My bf is my first seuxal partner, I have been intimate with my bf for about 10 months and we have always used condoms (i am not on any other birth control). Last night we had sex and i was really dry but we continue...

A.   17 October 2007: Hey Anonymous, I've taken the morning after pill several times and I never ended up getting pregnant. But one thing is for sure, it made me SOOO sick to my stomach!!! I recommend drinking LOTS of green tea. I was always wary about taking a... (read in full...)

It looked like they took a photo of us . . . . . .

Q.   i was with my freinds and we were just talking bye the gate at school (there is a football pitch right bye our school) there were two men on a buggy cart (i didnt realy know what it was but they suddenly stoped (directly in facing us)and we saw a ...

A.   16 October 2007: Hello Anonymous, Perhaps you should tell a teacher - describe the vehicle, the men (possible ages, hair color, distinctive features you noticed), and what has happened recently (with the photos and how they've been waving at you, etc as read in y... (read in full...)

He kissed another girl - do I confront him?

Q.   So i've been seeing this guy for about two months and was hoping things would start getting more serious. I really like him, but I found out that last weekend he kissed another girl at a party. what do i do? I havent yet confronted him....

A.   15 October 2007: (BTW - after reading your post, I figured you guys were in an open relationship at this point. But if you're only supposed to be seeing each other - like the last two posters implied - then by all means you should confront him about it! And throw ... (read in full...)

A birthday card on the first date? What would be appropriate?

Q.   I have a first date with a guy and its his birthday. Is a funny bday card appropriate? I don't want to scare him off. Thanks....

A.   15 October 2007: Hi Anonymous, If a birthday card scares this guy, are you sure you want to be dating him? lol Seriously - I think it's a great idea! Buy him the card, have a laugh, let him know that you're a sweet person. Have fun on your date! Take ca... (read in full...)

SITE NEWS: Wanted, your ideas for features and improvements!

Q.   Hi I'm looking to get some input from everyone on what you'd like to see on the site. How can I make it easier to use? What new features would you like to see? Any annoyances or bugs you'd like to fix? Can I make the moderati...

A.   15 October 2007: Hey Andrew, I know that you have added this to a "wish list" for Dear Cupid, but I was just wondering what the status was for font alterations -- IYou said we will not be able to have linking capabilities in things such as our profiles, but wi... (read in full...)

Should I wait until he's divorced before I go after him?

Q.   I fancy a man going through a divorce. Should I wait til the divorce has gone through before I start the chase? ...

A.   15 October 2007: Hello Anonymous, I, like the others, suggest waiting. Going through a divorce is really hard on someone's emotions. You don't quite know how he'll react and how genuine his feelings for you will be. (That's not his fault, though.) You may end ... (read in full...)

He kissed another girl - do I confront him?

Q.   So i've been seeing this guy for about two months and was hoping things would start getting more serious. I really like him, but I found out that last weekend he kissed another girl at a party. what do i do? I havent yet confronted him....

A.   15 October 2007: One other thing that I thought of that worked for one of my friends...when she was going after her man, she made him brownies and cookies on a couple of occasions and told him that she made them for him and his friends. (She stacked them in a ... (read in full...)

He kissed another girl - do I confront him?

Q.   So i've been seeing this guy for about two months and was hoping things would start getting more serious. I really like him, but I found out that last weekend he kissed another girl at a party. what do i do? I havent yet confronted him....

A.   15 October 2007: Hi Anonymous, Everyone's different, but this is what I would do: Grab him up while you can! When I first started seeing my now-husband, he was starting to date some other girl, too. I put a stop to that asap! I asked to see him more frequen... (read in full...)

Is he too tall for me?

Q.   Can I date this man? He's tall, and I'm a foot shorter than him? Does size matter?...

A.   15 October 2007: Hi there Anonymous, Unless you create a problem out of it - by thinking too much about it - it shouldn't be a problem. What about the height are you concerned about? Is it because you think people would think it's strange? If that's the reas... (read in full...)

My girlfriend doesn't make herself up at all! Is there any way I can address this?

Q.   I have a question about something that is bothering me regarding my GF. She refuses to get a tan of any kind. OK that's fine. She doesn't want skin cancer. I can appreciate that. I am 44 and she is 40. Today she met me for lunch but she did not ...

A.   11 October 2007: Hello there Speedy, I don't understand why you're ashamed to be seen with your girlfriend when she has on no make up. Can you explain a bit more? I guess the main thing that I don't understand is why you care what other people think. I honestly... (read in full...)

Anyone had A.D.D. as a kid?

Q.   My sister insist that my child has A.D.D. Whenever I tell her he doesn't seem to be based on the signs which I've Googled. She says I just don't want him to be. I don't want to get him tested,because there are no real test. I think a huge part of ...

A.   11 October 2007: Hello there, I don't know who you've been speaking with, but there are most definitly tests to find out whether or not someone has A.D.D. I should know - I went through them. You should really take him to a child psychologist to have him eval... (read in full...)

Does splitting chores help the bond?

Q.   ok is it a good idea to do things with my man like go do laundry together and stupid things that need done will this help our bond ...

A.   10 October 2007: Hello again, Your new updated just popped up. What do you mean by "will it help him respect me?" What do you mean by that? In wha sense does he not respect you? I'm just wondering because maybe if we have more details, we can help out even fur... (read in full...)

Does splitting chores help the bond?

Q.   ok is it a good idea to do things with my man like go do laundry together and stupid things that need done will this help our bond ...

A.   10 October 2007: Hi Anonymous, Well, it depends on what the chores are and how well you each "like" to do them. For example, I hate vacumming (mainly because I have a bad back) so my husband will do that. He hates cleaning up after the dogs, so I'll do that (I'... (read in full...)

SITE NEWS: Wanted, your ideas for features and improvements!

Q.   Hi I'm looking to get some input from everyone on what you'd like to see on the site. How can I make it easier to use? What new features would you like to see? Any annoyances or bugs you'd like to fix? Can I make the moderati...

A.   2 October 2007: Yay! ^_^ Thanks, Andrew!... (read in full...)

SITE NEWS: Wanted, your ideas for features and improvements!

Q.   Hi I'm looking to get some input from everyone on what you'd like to see on the site. How can I make it easier to use? What new features would you like to see? Any annoyances or bugs you'd like to fix? Can I make the moderati...

A.   28 September 2007: ...and, of course, we wrote at the same time so a lot of my questions/comments were probably addressed in your last post! But I just thought of something else, believe it or not! Is it possible to change your password on your account? I know tha... (read in full...)

SITE NEWS: Wanted, your ideas for features and improvements!

Q.   Hi I'm looking to get some input from everyone on what you'd like to see on the site. How can I make it easier to use? What new features would you like to see? Any annoyances or bugs you'd like to fix? Can I make the moderati...

A.   28 September 2007: Hi there Andrew, I think it would be good if we could get some more active moderators signed up to help out with the HUGE amount of questions and answers that have been pouring in recently. It's like the site has exploded all of a sudden! ... (read in full...)

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