New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login241375 questions, 1067696 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

Can a married man fall in love with another woman, yet never leave his wife?

Tagged as: Cheating, Crushes, Dating, Family, Marriage problems, Three is a crowd, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 June 2015) 12 Answers - (Newest, 9 June 2015)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Can a married man fall in love with another woman he has been with for 2-3 years but never leave his wife?

View related questions: married man

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2015):

A difficult question to answer. If he really loves the other woman, in time, he will probably want to leave his wife. The nature of his relationship with her will change, and she will intuitively know that something is wrong. What happens next is anybody's guess.

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2015):

I can't picture how a man can love you and still be intimate with his wife and stay married.

My story is kind of different no sexual relationship was involved and the guy has been in love with me for many years. He found me after many years the first month all the physical relationship with his wife stopped naturally he said he just can't.

The part that makes it hard is if any children are involve then divorce become extremely difficult for responsible people. We both were married and both got divorce but let me tell you something,my guy has it all in comparison with my ex but still it doesn't worth it.

If I can reverse the time I wouldn't do it.

I have changed I became a new person with zero peace of mind. We married our ex for the wrong reason but it wasn't their fault. No matter how unhappy the marriage was we could still work on it. It wasnt just a normal life with feelings empty.

I do regret my decision because I wasn't someone who could hurt someone else neither my guy. I am still seeing him but no exitment to get married because the pain just doesn't alow me.

So yes it is possible but it isn't worth it..

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (7 June 2015):

Danielepew agony auntYes.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, CindyCares Italy + , writes (6 June 2015):

CindyCares agony aunt Apparently yes. If we have to believe stats, they do it all the time, since only about 3% of cheaters end up with leaving their wives for the mistress they had started an affair with.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2015):

Many years ago my late mother told me I'll know I'm in love when I want to do more for someone else than I'd do for myself. By that definition a married man can't fall in love with his mistress but stay with his wife.

I'm sure he tells you he loves you so you'll keep putting out for him on the side, but if he really loved you then he'd be doing everything in his power to be with you no matter what sacrifices he'd have to make.

The typical philanderer doesn't leave his wife for his mistress for the simple yet compelling reason that he'd lose too much (money, family life, social position, friendships) and get nothing in return other that the freedom to be seen in public with a woman he doesn't want anyone to know he's boinking in private.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy + , writes (6 June 2015):

Anonymous 123 agony auntIsn't that how the "married-man cheating syndrome" works? They never really leave their wives. Very rarely, if at all.

Read the answers, especially the second answer from the top, to this question that was posted on DC.

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/will-my-married-lover-leave-his-wife-or.html

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, empty-1 United States +, writes (6 June 2015):

No.

Love, real, romantic love is about intimacy. Sharing. If he is still married, then he cannot bring his whole self to the sharing. He is leaving the part that loves his wife and his life with her safe, that part is sacred, and too special for the 'other' woman to get to see, let alone touch.

Sure, he'll share details of that 'other' part, but never the important ones. He might share the negatives, it's a pretty common tactic to always complain and unload about how the wife "doesn't understand him" or "is so demanding" etc.

What he won't share is the slow, gentle lovemaking (he'll claim it -never- happens) the "awwww" moments that come between two people who've known each other intimately over a long time (even though, as a cheater, he's withdrawn from the intimacy of marriage), and any other real human connection he shares with his wife.

If he stays with her, it's not "for the kids" nor is it "for the finances" it's because he still loves and needs her. While that is true, he can't share his self with another, and -that- is what love is about.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2015):

Yes, anyone can love anyone. More likely he is using you for sex, companionship and won't leaves his life/wife. If he does leave you will have a cheater who may cheat on you eventually.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, deirdre Ireland +, writes (6 June 2015):

If you are the same lady from the US in the same age group who has posted about this issue before then I would advise you to leave the man in question. He is not going to leave his wife regardless of his existant/non existant feelings for you and you are wasting precious years of your life on this situation when you deserve a man you can call your own.

Someone who cheats with you will also cheat on you. Please for your own sake take up a new hobby or interest of some sort and get out there meeting new people.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (6 June 2015):

Honeypie agony auntYes, I think he can. It may NOT be the SAME kind of love he felt/feel for his wife, but more of a fantasy thing. It might be closer to infatuation than love. Because HE likes the fantasy he has with the OW/mistress but he doesn't WANT to ruin his marriage (odd double standard there!) because AFTER all is said and done, he DOES love his wife and the life they have build together. It's just not the SHINE NEW love or the illicit lust from an affair. It is not easily replaced, A mistress on the other hand... IS.

And don't get me started on morals here or common decency...

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, jls022 United Kingdom +, writes (5 June 2015):

No I don't think he can truly love her. He can like the free sex and escapism she provides, but love - no.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, Code Warrior United States + , writes (5 June 2015):

Code Warrior agony auntYes. He's a chester and if the other woman knows he's married and pursues him anyway, she is equally as untrustworthy and unethical as him.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "Can a married man fall in love with another woman, yet never leave his wife?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0312501000007614!