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... Send *ockelle a private message | | | *ockelle's profile:I am 26 years old, married with one child. I live in New Jersey and my passion is writing although I do have a full-time job in another field. I give advice to all my friends, and family only when thay ask of course. I try to be as honest as possible when I give advice because when I ask a question that is what I want to hear. |
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Shaven or not?
Q. A simple question to ask, for both males and females if you please: Shaven pubic region or unshaven pubic region? I myself find shaven definitely more preferable, and don't say you like both, because you are bound to like one at least sligh...
A. 6 March 2010: Shaven, or waxed definately... ... (read in full...)
Is she stringing me along...?
Q. Hello All, I have been in an almost two-year relationship with a married woman. Things are wonderful when we are together and that is 5-10 times a month and we talk every day. She is 16 years younger than her husband and tells me they have nothin...
A. 6 March 2010: If she really loves you she will leave him. If you are ok with sharing the woman you love then carry on but if you want more you need to express to this women how you feel and be prepared for what will happen..... (read in full...)
Ever since my girlfriend's night out she's been receiving text messages from another guy.
Q. My girlfriend (age 34) went out to a nightclub with her girlfriend the other night. Since she returned she has not stopped receiving text messages. I finally did the unthinkable and pinched her cellphone and took a look. Sure enough, there is...
A. 11 March 2008: I would confront her. Apologize for snooping but demand that she explain to you who this guy is and why he wants to hear her voice. Whether you were right or wrong for checking her phone you deserve an explanation. There maybe a good explanation ... (read in full...)
Women and stretch marks.
Q. I had a baby and now I have stretch marks. Are men turned off by stretch marks?...
A. 11 March 2008: I do not know a women who doesn't have stretch marks. Thin women, fat women. Hell I even know some men who have stretch marks. To be honest I am sure men notice but I do not think that any reasonable man would be turned off by them.... (read in full...)
Has anybody else been in this position and got back with their ex after a year break and it's worked?
Q. Ever since I split from my cheating boyfriend I hate being on my own, I'm still friends with my partner from before the one that cheated on me and I know he would like us to get back together, we were together for 12 years when I left him for the ...
A. 11 March 2008: My husband and I seperated for two years. This was when we were dating each other. I was very unhappy we were both young and I needed some time away from him. Our good times out weighed our bad and we remained in each others lives throughout the ... (read in full...)
Very tough situation - needy, insecure and controlling wife, but we have a child, who she uses to influence my decisions.
Q. Hi All, I *desperately* need advice, so any thoughts would be greatly appreciated and would definitely be put to use... I am South African and I have been married for 5 years, but my wife and I have been together for about 9 years. I m...
A. 6 March 2008: After reading your post I do not think I would be able to sleep unless I offered my two cents. With that being said here is my honest opinion... I notice that you begin giving us a brief overview of the history of the relationship with your wife. ... (read in full...)
Very tough situation - needy, insecure and controlling wife, but we have a child, who she uses to influence my decisions.
Q. Hi All, I *desperately* need advice, so any thoughts would be greatly appreciated and would definitely be put to use... I am South African and I have been married for 5 years, but my wife and I have been together for about 9 years. I m...
A. 6 March 2008: After reading your post I do not think I would be able to sleep unless I offered my two cents. With that being said here is my honest opinion... I notice that you begin giving us a brief overview of the history of the relationship with your wife. ... (read in full...)
Secrets came out 8 months before our wedding. What now?
Q. I am getting married in Oct BUT suddenly a whole bunch of stuff has occurried. 1) I never dealt with an abortion I had 13 years ago 2) He has not disclosed a criminal act he did prior to our getting together - we've been together for 12 years and...
A. 26 February 2008: I agree with eyeswideopen, marriage is hard enough it is really not a good idea to start off with problems. You need to communicate with your fiance and figure out what your next step will be. I suggest you postpone the wedding until you are sure. ... (read in full...)
Any suggestions, why she doesn't tell all?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for over 4 years now. In the beginning I was told she was divorced , that I was the first guy she had been with , she had several dates but nothing else. It would never bothered me even if she had been with ...
A. 21 February 2008: I think that you should be very careful with this women. Obviously she is hiding something if she keeps lying. It is going to be very hard to maintain a relationship with some one who lies about small things. When will you ever be able to beleive ... (read in full...)
Breakup out of nowhere. Need advice please!
Q. Ok so ive been with the same girl for the last 8 months. We are both in our twenties. I had recently come back from a military deployment and saw her a few times before i left for leave which was about a week. She couldnt come with me because of ...
A. 21 February 2008: It sounds to me like this girl has already made up her mind. She has had plenty of time to call you and apologize or try and work things out. After 8 months she shouldn't have broken up with you via text message. I think you are better off without ... (read in full...)
Do you think he is into me or not really, anymore?
Q. I was practice teaching at this school for 2 months but left to teach somewhere else. I found a DVD I borrowed from one of the others teachers a month later and contacted him to tell him I had it and if he wanted it back. I've always had a lit...
A. 21 February 2008: I hate to be the one to tell you but this guy does not sound like he is interested. If he is he will ask you out. If you continue to ask him out you are going to seem a little pushy and desperate which will possibly push him away. Give him the ... (read in full...)
Why did they put their pictures on facebook?
Q. I was with my ex a year. In the first 3 months, his ex (of 4 years) kept hassling him, trying to break us up. She was desperate to keep contact, to remain friends, but they had only left it 3 months between breaking up and us getting together, ...
A. 21 February 2008: If it is her facebook page more than likely she is putting the pictures there to make you jealous, and/or let you know that he is back in her life. If I were you I wouldn't look at the pictures that is exactly what she wants. If you and him are no ... (read in full...)
Is giving sexual advice to minors considered "contributing to the delinquincy of a minor"?
Q. This question is for the adults only! I like this site....I've only recently in the last 2 months or so found out about this site. Here is my dilemma.....I currently feel very very uncomfortable giving advice to juveniles (I currently don't)...
A. 6 February 2008: I agree, there are some questions that I choose not to answer because I do not want to encourage questionable behavior for a young person. So most of the time I just simply do not answer. However, the good thing about this site is that there are a ... (read in full...)
Is he valid in wanting to leave? What should I do?
Q. We got married 4 years ago, out of what I thought was TRUE love. Between the two of us there are 3 children. One he took on as his when we engaged and the other 2 we share. Now it started rocky, because he is in the Navy and I quit a good job and ...
A. 6 February 2008: Well in my opinion it sounds like you have a lot going on. Death in the family, children, and being away from each other. The distance in your relationship is definately a factor because that makes working things out very difficult. Now, if you ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to get frustrated because of her "system" when it comes to unprotected sex?
Q. I'm sorry for the long post, just bear with me: I have been dating a great girl for about 7 months now, we are both very much in love, and i honestly believe that she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. She comes from a small...
A. 4 February 2008: Well to be honest with you, I agree that her actions were careless and stupid. Needless to say that birthcontrol/contraceptive methods are personal decisions. I think that you should express to her your disagreement with her method b/c there are ... (read in full...)
Meeting my partner's parents.
Q. If I guy tells a girl who hasn't met his parents that the parents said "Don't bring a random girl home, to bring home someone then break up with them after a week is something we dont want. Bring someone long-term". He told me I wasn't a random ...
A. 25 January 2008: It sounds like he wants to be in a relationship. A serious one. He is taking you home to meet his family so it sounds like he is tryingto take your relationship to the next level and have a long term commitment. ... (read in full...)
Confused and wworried after a break up. Please advise.
Q. My boyfriend and i been togehter for about a year and a half and last week on tuesday he broke up with me. While i was at work he packed all his things and left the apartment we were both renting. He called me every night for that week and ...
A. 24 January 2008: It sounds to me like you are making all the compromises in this relationship. That doesn't sound fair. It seems like you have taken responsibility for everything that went wrong in the relationship. To be honest, if he really wanted to make this ... (read in full...)
I cant forget my affair, I love her and it Hurts so much! What can I do?
Q. I was involved in an affair that ended after two months. We both knew it was wrong, I was the married one and she wasn't. My marriage has basically been over for the last four+ years and my wife and I have not been intimate in over three years in a...
A. 23 January 2008: Well I have a better understanding now that you have clarified a few things for me. I am a married women so I can only imagine how hard it is to end a marriage. Dividing assets and property, custody of children,etc. It takes time, that is why I will ... (read in full...)
I cant forget my affair, I love her and it Hurts so much! What can I do?
Q. I was involved in an affair that ended after two months. We both knew it was wrong, I was the married one and she wasn't. My marriage has basically been over for the last four+ years and my wife and I have not been intimate in over three years in a...
A. 23 January 2008: Cheating is not the solution to solving marital problems, I do not agree with it and do not understand why people do it. It only complicates an already bad situation. You mention how much you love your girlfriend but you do not mention wanting to ... (read in full...)
Not sure if I should marry him as he doesn't want kids and I do!
Q. Should i stay with a guy that says we can get married, after years of saying he never would, as long as i never trick him into having children. He says that i do then he'll leave me and the child on our own, it's not like he hates children but he ...
A. 22 January 2008: I think that getting married to this guy would be a very big mistake. He made it very clear that he does not want children. Respect his wishes, and find someone who wants a family like you do. It wouldn't be fair for either of you to compromise what ... (read in full...)
He admitted to cheating one time...how can I ever trust him?
Q. I am 27 years old with a 8 year old son not by my boyfriend and a 17 month old baby that is by my boyfriend. We have been together for 3 years and 2 months. Everything was great in the beginning. He meet a girl in New Jersey through his work and ...
A. 22 January 2008: I hate to be the one to break it to you but 9 times out of 10 he is lying. Just like he lied about everything else. But what difference does it make anyhow? He cheated, you found out. Why do you need him to confess? Is that going to make you feel ... (read in full...)
It doesn't even feel like a relationship anymore...should I even try to make it work??
Q. I've been with my fiance on and off for four years. We have a three year old daughter and live together. We both cheated on each other in the past but he did it with family and i still can't seem to forgive him for that. It doesn't even feel lik...
A. 22 January 2008: When you say you cant seem to forgive him that sounds to me like you are setting yourself up to fail. Maybe you should think about this situation and figure out whether or not this realtionship is worth saving. A man that would cheat on you with a ... (read in full...)
I am so angry--he 's married and I am tempted to tell his wife!
Q. I broke up with my "boyfriend" three weeks ago after spending three months fighting with him about how he lied to me about being married. He told me after I told him that I loved him. I'm not stupid. He lied very well and I'm way too trusting and ...
A. 22 January 2008: This is not your fault in any way. He is the lair, he is the cheat and you did the right thing by ending things with him. You did what so many women do not have enough sense to do. If you think it will make you feel better to tell his wife what an ... (read in full...)
23, 6 weeks together and now I could be pregnant. Will it work?
Q. O.k...I have been dating a great guy for about 6 weeks, and after I didn't get my period (I haven't had one since we've been together) we realized that I am most likely pregnant. I am going to find out for sure this weekend. I am just having some ...
A. 18 January 2008: Well it is good to hear that you are not pregnat, if I were you I would still go to see my gyn so that you can figure out why you haven't had a period in 6 weeks. In addition to condoms you should think about some birthcontrol, just to be extra ... (read in full...)
23, 6 weeks together and now I could be pregnant. Will it work?
Q. O.k...I have been dating a great guy for about 6 weeks, and after I didn't get my period (I haven't had one since we've been together) we realized that I am most likely pregnant. I am going to find out for sure this weekend. I am just having some ...
A. 17 January 2008: You had unprotected sex with someone you have only been dating for 6 weeks..... I am sorry but being pregnant should be the least of your worries. You could have a disease, you hardly know this man. I hate to sound harsh but being pregnant after six ... (read in full...)
23, 6 weeks together and now I could be pregnant. Will it work?
Q. O.k...I have been dating a great guy for about 6 weeks, and after I didn't get my period (I haven't had one since we've been together) we realized that I am most likely pregnant. I am going to find out for sure this weekend. I am just having some ...
A. 17 January 2008: You had unprotected sex with someone you have only been dating for 6 weeks..... I am sorry but being pregnant should be the least of your worries. You could have a disease, you hardly know this man. I hate to sound harsh but being pregnant after six ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried that he 'slept' with another woman?
Q. my boyfriend went on a trip with his friends and they were camping in tents. he slept in a tent with one other guy and one girl. i wasnt on the trip because i was on a trip with my own friends. anyway while on the trip the other guy and the girl in ...
A. 17 January 2008: You have no reason to break up with him. He did nothing wrong, he just went on a trip with some friends and they got a little crazy. He had nothing to do with there craziness, he was just an innocent bystander.... (read in full...)
For 35 years, I have loved my husband's best friend!
Q. I am totally in love with my husbands best friend. This has been going on for the past 35 years. He was in our wedding, but I even loved him several years before that. We have been intimate on many many occasions. He says he feels the same way I ...
A. 16 January 2008: I am going to be completely honest with you, You aren't doing anyone any favors by staying with your husband. You are unhappy, and it sounds like your husband isn't very happy either. 35 years is a long time to carry on an affair. This affair is ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my Aunt (my Mom's sister)--she's coming onto my Dad!
Q. Ok..Well i am an 18 year old girl and i have this huge problem with half of my family!! my mothers sister has been drinking constantly to get attention from other men even though she is married. well recently she started hitting on my dad which has ...
A. 16 January 2008: As hard as it may be for you to do I think you need to let your parents handle your aunt. It is going to be hard not to get involved but at the end of the day this sounds more like a marital issue rather than a family issue. Your dad is a married ... (read in full...)
Just want to tell everyone and the whole world....I'M IN LOVE!!
Q. im in love wooooooo! im aware this isnt a question but i wanted to tell the world =]...
A. 16 January 2008: LOL. Congratulations and Good Luck. ... (read in full...)
Can I get help with this poem?
Q. my boyfriend is always writing me poems telling me how much he loves me, and i thought that for valentines day i could write him a poem for a change,but im not to good at it,the poem i wrote below is what ive wrote and i wondered if you could help ...
A. 16 January 2008: Very nice but I do have two corrections, "something I thought Id never have" and "But your my best friend." Aside from that I think it was really nice and I am sure he will love it.... (read in full...)
Am I being a bitch by saying mean things about her?
Q. ok i am 14 and i really like this boy but he claims too love another girl. we have meet once and he said i was good looking and i am a nice girl. i thought i would go on the girl "he claims love" myspace to see what she looks like shes not ugly bu...
A. 16 January 2008: 9 times out of 10 the reason he fell in love with her has nothing to do with how she looks. You said yourself she's an OK person so back off and who knows maybe someone better will come along.... (read in full...)
Did she really love me or was I a fool?
Q. I broke up with my girlfriend, we were together for nearly a year and i moved half way accross the country bringing my children with me to live with her. She became very low in confidence and wouldnt trust me at all and this led to arguments. I love ...
A. 16 January 2008: It sounds like this women is clearly dealing with some serious emotional baggage. You were just caught in the crossfire. Why would you and your children move halway across the country to be with someone that you didnt love??? That would be crazy.It ... (read in full...)
How can someone say they love you, and want to spend their life with you, but they are annoyed by almost everything you do??
Q. How can someone say they love you, and want to spend their life with you, but they are annoyed by almost everything you do?....I don't really think I'm an annoying person in general. I have great friends, and in previous romantic relationships, this ...
A. 16 January 2008: I have one question. Has he told you that you are annoying or does he just seems annoyed when you are around? There is a difference he may be annoyed but it may be about something totally unrelated to you and your realtionship. Sometimes people tend ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm back to competing with other women for the man I'm in love with.
Q. I feel like I'm back to competing with other women for the man I'm deeply in love with. It's so physical, my heart feels like it's constantly breaking, and then healing when I see him, and then hurting again. We were great once, but then he move...
A. 16 January 2008: My advice to you is just enjoy the time that you spend with him. If it is meant to be it will happen. If it doesn't fit do not try and force it.Competition can sometimes be a good thing, it may make him appreciate and enjoy you even more after a few ... (read in full...)
I think I'm pregnant, but boyfriend wants nothing to do with baby, what can I do?
Q. I think i'm pregnant but my boyfriend wants nothing to do with the situation at all. He doesn't even want his mother to know and they're really close! I've tryed to talk to him about it and he just doesn't say anything. He just knows that he doesn't ...
A. 16 January 2008: I suggest you take a pregnancy test so that you know exactly what you are dealing with. If you are pregnant I think the best thing for you to do would be to talk with him. having a baby is a huge responsibility and to be honest you should have had ... (read in full...)
How do I walk away from someone I love so much?
Q. hey, i wrote in a cuple weeks ago asking should i stay or walk away from my married boyfriend, the thing is. i got 1 reply saying stay, i saying leave and 1 saying run. the thing is i no he's not happy where he is. i no he's not. if you read my f...
A. 14 January 2008: Sue my best advice to you is that you need to think long and hard about what you want. You mentioned that he is unhappy in his marriage, but what about you are you happy? that should be your main concern. You obviously aren't satisfied with what you ... (read in full...)
How are my parents likely to take the fact I'm dating a girl who is pregnant?
Q. How will my parents react to me dating someone who is pregnant with another persons child. Im 18 and i really do love her. And i will help her with the kid as much as i can once it born while im still in school and treat it like my own. Ive been ...
A. 11 January 2008: To be honest I do not think that your parents are going to like the idea of you dating someone who is pregnant. But you are an adult and that is your decision to make. You sound like a nice guy and you want to do the right thing, which is great but ... (read in full...)
What's happened to my wife's sex drive?
Q. hello ive been with my wife 9 years now. for around 6 years our sex life was amazing but once we had kids her sex drive just went. i mean gone nothing. yes we have had sex many times over the years sence we had kids weve tryed every sort of ki...
A. 10 January 2008: The doctors aren't interested then you need a new doctor! Just like there are products for helping a man with erectile dysfunction and etc. There are options for women also and it is more common than you think. Maybe your wife should talk with her ... (read in full...)
My soon-to-be wife has unrespectful teenage children. The situation straightens for only a few days every time I try to correct it.
Q. I need some advise from anyone who will provide so that its coming from others besides me. My question is.... My soon to be wife has two children. They talk to her with no respect..they yell at her...backtalk, and if she tells them no, they question ...
A. 9 January 2008: Well, I am sure that your fiance is just as frustrated with the bad behavior of her children as you are. But I would like to make a suggestion. I think that you should have a private discussion with her about the issue of discipline and her ... (read in full...)
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