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We had a one night stand and now she is pregnant1

Tagged as: Big Questions, Pregnancy, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 March 2016) 4 Answers - (Newest, 28 March 2016)
A male United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

We had a one night stand, and now a month later she's saying she's pregnant.

I checked the condom after for holes and it seemed find as no water was dripping through.

I wanted her to get an abortion as I'm sure she doesn't want kids with me and I with her. However after a very brief text chat she has blocked me so no contact..,??? This seems strange as i told her I'll pay for what is needed to get an abortion as we have no relationships what soever

View related questions: abortion, condom, one night stand, text

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2016):

She is probably keeping the child. If she was going to get an abortion then she would have taken you up on the money & help with it.

How concerned was she about making sure you used a condom? If you checked the condom then the odds are it's not your child. The odds are much better that she has been screwing a bunch of guys lately and it's one of theirs. DO NOT ACCEPT ANY PATERNITY RESPONSIBILITIES WITHOUT GETTING DNA TEST PROOF ON PAPER.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (27 March 2016):

Danielepew agony auntIf she had been interested in money for an abortion, she would have taken your offer. Since she didn't, she was interested in you becoming responsible for the baby.

Assuming that she doesn't want kids is too much assuming.

You say that this was a one-night stand, but don't say whether you actually know the girl or just picked her up somewhere. If you know this person, and just offered an abortion, then you were very cold and mean.

Considering the pregnancy resulted from a one-night stand, you could perhaps ask for a DNA test whent he baby is born. But, you should seriously see yourself as a father in a matter of eight months.

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A female reader, Ivyblue Australia + , writes (27 March 2016):

Ivyblue agony auntIf you know where she lives, go see her. If she is not going to respond in anyway, keep the txt chat, get some legal advise and a court order to first see proof that she is and then to have a DNA test. In the mean time, sit yourself down and have some serious thoughts of all the possible worst and best case scenarios and what it is you are prepared to do in the event she is and wants to keep the pregnancy. Not much else you can do at this point.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (26 March 2016):

Honeypie agony auntAre you really sure YOU are the one who got her pregnant? Or that she IS pregnant?

Did she show you a pregnancy text or results from the doctor?

While I understand that you are not shying away from taking "some" responsibility IF she is pregnant. Having an abortion is not throwing out a dirty sneaker. As a dude you probably have no idea what a woman goes through.

And while you may be willing to pay for it, she MIGHT NOT be willing to have an abortion. Her body, her choice. And yes, if in 8-9 months she gives birth and sues you for Child Maintenance and the DNA test says you are the daddy, you got 18 years of payments.

But as things stand now, there is nothing much you can do.

I will advice STRONGLY that you, IF she decides to have the baby do a DNA test before paying anything.

AND... that you buy a packet of condoms and practice putting them on. You don't need a HOLE in a condom to have an "accident". If a condom isn't put on right it's possible too.

So, OP learn anything from that experience?

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