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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
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This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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I'm back and in need of some more tough love. I do everything for her and she constantly curses at me and says I do nothing. I need help getting away.
Q. Well agony aunts... It's me. The one that moved to Tennessee to be with a woman I love, that turned out to be a rough ride with 3 kids... Bring back memories now. I wanted to provide an update and get more brutality thrown my way because it helps me ...
A. 14 September 2012: The solution is easy and clear: Run for the hills and never look back.... (read in full...)
Like her personality but not fully attracted to her physically. Do I stay or move on?
Q. I've been dating this woman I met online now for about two months now and I'll be honest when it comes to the physical attraction I just don't find her as attractive as I want to find a girl I date to be. I find myself looking at other women when...
A. 15 August 2012: Looks matter more the younger you are. But you're young now, so it's an important thing. You have to choose, and that needs to be done quickly.... (read in full...)
I just found out my girflriend cheated on me three years ago
Q. Hey guys, I have a situation that im in dire need of some other people opinions. I have been with my girlfriend for about 3 years now. Today I found out that at the beginning of our relationship when we were "exclusive" she was having sex with oth...
A. 15 August 2012: You have your answer.... (read in full...)
Am I a fool for staying with someone who still can tell their ex they love them too when they can't say that to me?
Q. I have been with the same guy for a year and half. He has always said he had love for me but also has love for his ex. I recently discovered some text that I might not should have from his ex talking about their sexual past. They don't live in ...
A. 14 August 2012: I would say it wouldn't be too wise to stay with him.... (read in full...)
I've been offered a much better job with more money but I'm scared of leaving what I have now because I have been here for a long time. Is it normal to feel this way?
Q. Thanks for reading :) I have been working for a small but successful firm for 4 years - i was hired as a new business manager and was promised that i would spend a lot of my time out and about visiting clients. I am now 30 years old. I start...
A. 14 August 2012: Normal. But you're a salesman, so risk-taking is part of you.
The company won't get you have direct contact with the customers because they wouldn't have a business if they didn't have customers. If I were you, I wouldn't even expect them to ... (read in full...)
I'm fed up with men!!
Q. I am seriously getting fed up now with men. I am 30, slim attractive and I do get a lot if male attention. Every guy I seem to meet it only seems to last a few months and then I think it's going well and they disappear. I don't chase after them but ...
A. 14 August 2012: If every single man you meet leaves you without an explanation, then something is the matter with you.... (read in full...)
My 40 year old boyfriend still lives with his mother
Q. My BF is 40 and lives with his mom how do i get him to move foward with our relationship and move out from her?...
A. 14 August 2012: Why does he live with her?... (read in full...)
How to include my father in my wedding plans without offending my mother
Q. Next May I am getting married. Sadly with all weddings come stress. My parents are divorced and have been since I was 2. I had no contact with my father till I was 16 (he abandoned us and never tried to get in contact). My mother is walking me down ...
A. 14 August 2012: Difficult situation. I think your mother is upset because you invited him, but will tolerate his presence.
Now, make sure your father will also understand if he is not the one who walks you down the aisle. He may believe he will. You have to ... (read in full...)
I just found out my girflriend cheated on me three years ago
Q. Hey guys, I have a situation that im in dire need of some other people opinions. I have been with my girlfriend for about 3 years now. Today I found out that at the beginning of our relationship when we were "exclusive" she was having sex with oth...
A. 13 August 2012: The problem here is one of trust. You have proof that the trust you put in her three years ago was not warranted: she cheated and lied. Now the question is whether you can trust her now. Personally, I wouldn't, but this is your call.... (read in full...)
I have just learned my husband fathered another child during our marriage
Q. Hi I hope someone can give me some advice! I have been married for 31 years and have a pleasant life! We have raised 3 well adjusted,talented and successful kids. My husband was my first lover and even thou he had a child out of wedlock, which he...
A. 13 August 2012: The first step should be to have that paternity test done. If it turns out that he is not the father, then part of the problem is gone.
Beyond that, it is clear that he had sex with her when he was with you. As Honeypie said, you have to decid... (read in full...)
I told him I wasn't a virgin but I really am! Should I tell him the truth or just keep going along with it?
Q. I've started seeing this guy whom I really really like. We have been friends for a long time and lately it has grew into something more and we decided that we would start dating. But the thing is that a while back when we were still just friends we ...
A. 5 August 2012: I can't think of a man who would mind.... (read in full...)
What are the pros and cons of revenge sex?
Q. He is the only person I have ever had sex with. At the beginning of the relationship, years ago, I was too. I am going to go out and have some fun with other people, just so that I can stop feeling like such a loser. Maybe then we can decide if we...
A. 5 August 2012: Flynn: Agreed, the date probably wouldn't mind. What's more, he would probably jump at the chance of "no-strings-attached" sex. That wouldn't mean the poster wouldn't be using him... or that HE wouldn't be using her. Look at the second paragraph ... (read in full...)
Why am I cruel because I don't want to be this woman's baby daddy?
Q. I met her in my 20's, she worked with me, and is almost 14 years older than me. She had a reputation as the office slut (she worked as a prostitute before), and almost half of my colleagues slept with her after exchanging money to her.(She even ...
A. 5 August 2012: You do have a "holier than thou" attitude, but there is no reason why you should take the child as yours.
I feel it would be different if she had the baby, you two had a relationship, and then you wanted to go further. Then you would surely h... (read in full...)
What are the pros and cons of revenge sex?
Q. He is the only person I have ever had sex with. At the beginning of the relationship, years ago, I was too. I am going to go out and have some fun with other people, just so that I can stop feeling like such a loser. Maybe then we can decide if we...
A. 5 August 2012: You'd be using someone for sex under the illusion that this is the way to get even. I would understand if you yelled things at the man, but not this.
The person you used for sex may very well agree to it, because he would be getting laid with no ... (read in full...)
Is this a FWB or an actual relationship?
Q. Hi,this could be confusing, but im confused too, sooo here it goes ive been seeing this guy as a friends with benefits since may 26th 2012, its now august 2nd, and were still seing eachother as that. I am falling for him and im not sure what i ...
A. 3 August 2012: If, officially, the relationship is "friends with benefits", then that is all it is.... (read in full...)
Is she right to feel that no guy will like her because of her size?
Q. So I have been talking with a good friend of mine and she is upset about her size. She thinks that no guy will ever like her because of her size. I think she is very pretty and her size doesn't matter. She is a size 18, she has a tiny waist but...
A. 3 August 2012: There's always someone for everyone.... (read in full...)
Masturbation seems to be the only solution for me. Any advice?
Q. Hi guys .. Here is my problem .. I am 28 and I am still masturbating until now ... like 4 times a week.. I started masturbating like about 12 years ago. I had many girlfriends but now I am single for about 6 years. My problems are: 1- I thin...
A. 3 August 2012: You're normal, mate. Don't worry.... (read in full...)
Met him in March, moved in with him in May, we aren't officially boyfriend-girlfriend, , now confined to bed following surgery, I've grown obsessed and jealous! Help!
Q. So here's my story. I got a surgery last week and I'm in my sort-of-a-boyfriend's place and he's taking care of me. I'm 20 yrs old college girl and he's 33 and he finishes his masters dgr this semester. Anyways, so all day long I just lay in his ...
A. 3 August 2012: In my opinion, this good man has proved he has a good heart and your jealousy has no foundations.
He has you at home, which means he wants to look after you now that you're recovering. I'm not sure many others would do that. And five weeks wi... (read in full...)
My wife said she had to do many things for money after her father died but now I find she worked in a massage parlor!
Q. my wife is 31years old. We are married 5years. We have a daughter, age 3years, staying with my mother in different place. I am working in a privet company as a clerk. My wife is a privet nurse in a nursing home. We know each other two years before ...
A. 3 August 2012: Your wife did what she did and that can't be changed. What you can do now is envision your future.
I understand you have financial problems and your wife is offering to work in a massage parlor in order to help bring money.
If you do not want ... (read in full...)
Should I stick it out for longer or leave? I'm caught between my feelings for him and logic and the need for growth.
Q. I have been having conflicting emotions regarding my boyfriend. He is very sweet and loving. He is emotionally supportive and playful. I love him very much and I know he loves me back. The problems are that we get into fights every other day....
A. 2 August 2012: This man has not got his shit together, so I say he stinks. Leave.... (read in full...)
Are women of just two types: girlfriends and the easy ones?
Q. I have heard a lot of times that men put women into 2 categories on spot: girlfriend/wife material AND just for fun/sex buddy etc. What are your insights on this topic?...
A. 2 August 2012: The sad thing about this is that it is often true. I'm not sure it is done "on the spot", however, except on a small number of cases.
I think, however, that the "true truth", as someone said, is that someone who starts a relationship with you... (read in full...)
Why do woman hook up with married men?
Q. My question is simple, Why do women hook up with a married man? I would like to hear from those who had a relationship with a married man, why did you do it? Love? Sex? Adventure? ...
A. 1 August 2012: I suppose there are many reasons.... (read in full...)
Advantages and disadvantages of dating a younger man?
Q. Ladies, what do you think about dating a younger man? One of my friends recently broke up with her ex and began dating her current boyfriend one month later. He ex is 1 year younger than her and her boyfriend is 2 years younger than her. I know the ...
A. 1 August 2012: Assuming similar minds and personal development, one year is irrelevant.... (read in full...)
My 17 year old brother wants to take responsibility for a child that isn't his
Q. My little brother is 17. About 3 weeks ago, he started dating a 16 year old who is 7 months pregnant. The baby's father left her when she told him. My brother has known the girl for about a year now and has told me that he intends to put his name on ...
A. 27 July 2012: Actually, any decisions your brother makes from now on will affect you and your family. But if you told him that you won't help him support the baby, that would be a good thing.
Maybe your parents are just waiting.... (read in full...)
Could this make someone pregnant?
Q. My girlfriend touched me and then touched the outside of her underwear lightly. I had noticed some pre-ejaculate earlier that was on my underwear. She noticed that she was a bit 'wet' afterwards from herself. She did not feel any liquid from me. It ...
A. 27 July 2012: Not likely.... (read in full...)
Is my sisters marriage in trouble?
Q. My sister is 29 and just became an anesthesiologist She makes about 100k and her husband makes 150k as an accountant. They both make pretty good money and live pretty well. My sisters husband Chris has Always had a hard time fitting into our family ...
A. 27 July 2012: I agree; it's the sister's decision. Apparently she is fine with what is going on.... (read in full...)
My 17 year old brother wants to take responsibility for a child that isn't his
Q. My little brother is 17. About 3 weeks ago, he started dating a 16 year old who is 7 months pregnant. The baby's father left her when she told him. My brother has known the girl for about a year now and has told me that he intends to put his name on ...
A. 27 July 2012: I agree with the poster, and then I disagree.
I agree that the brother is too young to really know what he would be getting into, and I also agree that later into the relationship he could want to leave her and then she would want child support.... (read in full...)
This girl DOES want me. However, she has a catch....
Q. I have a good female friend that has a lot of things in common with me, and while I'm flattered that she DOES want to date me, she has a "Little" catch.... I asked her what she would want to do with me, if I got together with her. Her ONLY answe...
A. 27 July 2012: I agree that maybe she didn't understand what your question was about.... (read in full...)
He's unwilling to commit to me. Any suggestions or ways to encourage commitment from a guy?
Q. I need help... I love this man and he loves me. We do really care about each other trully. I want to be with him only. We've been "dating" for 6 mos now. But he wont make any commitment to me. Im not asking for a wedding ring just a standard re...
A. 27 July 2012: Sometimes, not getting a clear yes is the same as getting a clear no. It seems this is one of those times.
If you want more and he won't give it, then you can either stay as you are, or leave.... (read in full...)
I can't afford to pay every time we go out. What's the best way to let her know?
Q. Hi. So I asked someone out and we had dinner and I payed, which I was happy to do. I've asked her out again for a coffee and she said yes. The thing is I just can't afford to pay for her every time we go out. I don't know if she'll be expecting me ...
A. 27 July 2012: Have a plan for when you meet her at home, picnic, whatever, and another for when you go out and have to pay.
Only go out if you can pay.... (read in full...)
Should I wait for him to make a move?
Q. I previously wrote about a guy who gave me his number and I was wondering what I should do. Following your advice, I texted him last friday if he wanted to go out on sunday, he said he had something already planned but that he would like to meet up ...
A. 26 July 2012: I agree that he would have contacted you by now if he wanted to.... (read in full...)
Why has he not replied to my text?
Q. SORRY IF THIS IS SO LONG!!!!! i would really appreciate some help though as im getting so down about this situation :( what does it mean when your ex (who you believe still likes you) doesn't text you back? long story short, he initiated our br...
A. 26 July 2012: If you want this guy back, then go to him and say it. Since you haven't done such a thing, I have the feeling that you don't want him back that much after all.
But I could be wrong. Think long and hard what you want, and act in conseque... (read in full...)
I can't afford to pay every time we go out. What's the best way to let her know?
Q. Hi. So I asked someone out and we had dinner and I payed, which I was happy to do. I've asked her out again for a coffee and she said yes. The thing is I just can't afford to pay for her every time we go out. I don't know if she'll be expecting me ...
A. 26 July 2012: I think the best way to let her know is simply to tell her. Now, I think I see the real problem with "just telling her": she might misunderstand it and think you just want her to pay.
I think the way out of this is to tell her you can't go out b... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says he doesn't love me when we fight.
Q. My boyfriend (I am 31, he is 41, together for a year)and I have been fighting a lot. We are trying to work things out. When we fight he says that he shuts down emotionally and stops feeling love towards me. He refused to say "I love you" because ...
A. 26 July 2012: "I have been working on this issue" is an euphemism for "I still am extremely needy and constantly try to contact him while he is at work". Solving this would be a great step.... (read in full...)
Can the age gap and class diversity work?
Q. I have been getting close to a guy I met a few months ago, we are getting to know each other at the mo so it hasn't developed into anything serious yet, but I can feel myself really falling for him the problem is or what I can't help feeling could ...
A. 25 July 2012: Men are usually less concerned than women about class differences. Traditional parenting means that we grow used to the idea that it is us who have to provide, and therefore it doesn't matter much if the girl has or doesn't have money. It could ... (read in full...)
I'm wondering how my married lover can lead a double life!
Q. This question is directed more towards the experts in the field of infidelity because I'm really curious as to how she can live with herself. What gets me is how some of her peers and co-workers perceive her to be this classy upstanding woman...
A. 25 July 2012: Something strikes me as odd. Isn't she your married lover? How can you claim to be better than she is? You know she's off limits, too.
I feel that you're getting tired of waiting, and pushing is coming to shove.... (read in full...)
Should I forget my hopes and dreams for a man who might never get his act together?
Q. I am planning on going overseas in a month in order to continue my chosen career as there are no opportunities in my country at the moment. I am also going because I want to explore the world and travel. My bf is aware of my future plans but not ...
A. 24 July 2012: If things have come to the point where you ask this question (justifiedly or not), then you should leave him.... (read in full...)
I need to break up as painlessly as possible, he doesn't have a clue even though I've tried to give him hints!
Q. I've been seeing someone off and on for the past few months and I need to end things with him. He really likes me and, despite me trying to "clue him in" the past couple of weeks, he's not going to see the breakup coming. I'm seeing him on Thursday ...
A. 24 July 2012: I agree with Karlos and BondGirl.... (read in full...)
Guys, would you be disappointed to know that the girl you're dating had hair loss and wears a wig? Any ladies out there who have gone through this?
Q. This is a question for guys mainly (or for any girls in my situation or who have been in my situation). I have androgenetic alopecia, I'm 23, so I feel I'm too young for this! :( Anyway, for those who don't know, it means I'm losing my hair. ...
A. 24 July 2012: I think a guy who really loved you wouldn't mind at all. Someone who were overly concerned about looks might mind.
The way to cope with this problem is to accept it is there and learn to be happy as if it weren't there. You are not the hair you... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting or is he being heartless?
Q. So I want to try to make this as unbiased as possible, sorry it's so long. My boyfriend and I are searching for an apartment in an expensive city. We are currently long distance, but have not always been. We agreed on a reasonable budget. We are b...
A. 24 July 2012: I think I cannot add much to the thread, except for the fact that the man is first deemed to be good, then bad, then good.... (read in full...)
My daughter has blindly accepted a woman as her sister who may or may not be her sister
Q. A 38-year old woman approached me through a private FB email stating that she is my daughter. I did have a one-occurrence sexual encounter with her mother. The mother approached my wife (we had been married only a few months) and I when the child ...
A. 23 July 2012: Insist on a paternity test. If the other person doesn't accept, that will get your daughter thinking.... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting or is he being heartless?
Q. So I want to try to make this as unbiased as possible, sorry it's so long. My boyfriend and I are searching for an apartment in an expensive city. We are currently long distance, but have not always been. We agreed on a reasonable budget. We are b...
A. 23 July 2012: I think this quarrel is about money.
You two agreed on a budget for the apartment, but I can see you (poster) were somehow trying to go beyond that budget. Otherwise, I cannot understand why you, poster, were looking for something that you two ... (read in full...)
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