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*sabella1974 agony aunt

*sabella1974

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*sabella1974's profile:

From as long i can remember i have always been the first point of contact when people had a problem they want to talk about and needed advice, i am non judgemental, i believe if someone has a problem whatever it may be, they are looking for advice, whether they have got themselves into a difficult situation or need advise on marriage, relationship etc. I have been through my fair share of troubles in life so i feel i can give some insite on problems people have.

i totally believe in the saying "live and let live", accept people for their differences and backgrounds.

1234Next > [4 pages, 102 answers]

My bf's attention to his ex is hurting me. Am I being unreasonable? Help.

Q.   I'm getting really down in the dumps about my boyfriend messaging his ex behind my back all the time. They split up 10 years ago but he speaks to her more than any of his other friends. He knows I find it uncomfortable and its starting to hurt me. ...

A.   10 June 2013: Sorry to say but he is being very cruel and controlling. You must believe you deserve a whole lot better than the crumbs he is dishing out. I would walk away from this for your own sanity and well being, he sounds very immature and very selfish. Be ... (read in full...)

She decided she needs her own space, but I love her and now I am lost.

Q.   I have been with the same girlfriend on and off for almost five yesars. We have been "seperated" for almost a year and she has wanted to be back with me but I had alot of problems and just couldnt get myself to go back to her. Even though I see ...

A.   25 July 2008: Hi there, i will try to help you as much as i can here,this is a difficult situation for you i understand. First off, try not to beat yourself up over the fact that you were not ready when she wanted to get back, you had problems to deal with and... (read in full...)

I love my husband, but I'm attracted to another man, help!

Q.   I've been married for over 10 years to my highschool sweetheart. We have two children. He's a good dad and husband. Neither of us have other sexual partners. I am attracted to another man. No lines have been crossed, and I doubt this guy even knows. ...

A.   27 June 2008: Hi there, Please dont cross this line, it will lead to all sorts of problems and mess up everything you have with your husband and not to mention kids....i am not saying for one moment you are or even considering this as i know your question... (read in full...)

She says I'm 'too nice', what do I do?

Q.   hi im 13 years old and asked out a girl i liked about one week ago. i've gotten her chocolates and lollies but she says im to nice, i really do not wont to loose her.. wat should i do, plz help? ...

A.   26 June 2008: hi there, just find something to keep you busy...dont give her all your attention, as was mention go play football and be busy. If this girl wants to be with you, she will and will let you know. Do your own think, have hobbies etc. hang out wi... (read in full...)

I'm really nervous about my date and need some advice

Q.   Hello aunts. Its a long story so hold tight. Well first things first. I split up from my Ex of 3 years in August. Well he split up with me. Ever since then we were seeing eachother day and i had hope for us getting back together. That was ...

A.   26 June 2008: Hi Wisha, O i am so delighted for you. Glad it went so well for you. Take care x... (read in full...)

He won't remove his ex from his friends list!

Q.   my boyfriend have a second myspace account and he refuses to remove his ex from his friends list,he removed her from his top friends list but he wont remove her from the friends list ...

A.   26 June 2008: hi there, i have to disagree with most of what people are saying here. I understand your concerns, i have seen it in the past where men and women have remained so called "friends" with their exs...i honestly dont think this is possible as there... (read in full...)

Just out of a bad relationship, how do I get over it?

Q.   Hello there, I need some help getting over this guy. I wrote yesterday but didn't get much replies. Thing is now we're on a break, but I'm sure he'll break up with me anyway. Ok, so here it goes. We clicked from the beginning, amazing chemistry...

A.   26 June 2008: just one other point.... NEVER give up your friends for any guy...its healthy for you to have your own life also and if he cares about you would realise that you need you friends and go out every once and a while with them... (read in full...)

Just out of a bad relationship, how do I get over it?

Q.   Hello there, I need some help getting over this guy. I wrote yesterday but didn't get much replies. Thing is now we're on a break, but I'm sure he'll break up with me anyway. Ok, so here it goes. We clicked from the beginning, amazing chemistry...

A.   26 June 2008: Hi First off, your past in your past and should remain there, you have nothing to be ashamed of and dont let him make you feel bad for anything you have done prior to dating him. Your gut feeling told you something...well sweetie..go with tha... (read in full...)

Is it normal for him to want more than one woman?

Q.   My boyfriend and I met and fell in love very quickly and knew we could spend our lives together. He told me early that he didn't think he could only see one woman naked for the rest of his life and would like to have prostitutes give him hand jobs ...

A.   26 June 2008: hi there, i am sorry but if someone told me that it was ok for me to go and be with other men, i would question whether or not he loved me. I know he is trying to be straight up with you by telling you that he wants to be with other peopl... (read in full...)

How important are looks?

Q.   I was wondering some people's opinions... Well, one of my friends is extremely obsessed with the way she looks. She claims that if she were to ever let herself go after marriage and kids, then her husband would no longer find her physically attra...

A.   25 June 2008: Hi I think Finn McCool is spot on, i totally agree in what he has said. Natually your body does change when you have kids etc, but i dont believe a person should let themselves go just because they are married. I have seen women who have h... (read in full...)

I'm really nervous about my date and need some advice

Q.   Hello aunts. Its a long story so hold tight. Well first things first. I split up from my Ex of 3 years in August. Well he split up with me. Ever since then we were seeing eachother day and i had hope for us getting back together. That was ...

A.   25 June 2008: Hi there, you are right, you have reach the point where you realised that you deserve better that the way your ex was treating you, well good for you. You are and did the correct think leaving him. Leave your ex in the past, you owe it to yours... (read in full...)

Should I proceed with making this fantasy real?

Q.   i have the fantasy of seeing my wife getting fucked by another male, particular our neighbour, who is showing a sort of interest in her. She also likes him and she is ready to have sex with atleast Once. By this thought only, I get excited and perf...

A.   25 June 2008: i think you should just leave it to fantasy, as you mentioned you already get excited by the though of it and all is well. I think you will create all sorts of problems if your wife proceeds to have sex with him. Take care... (read in full...)

He left his wife and is now begging me to give him another chance, I'm confused!

Q.   Last year i got involved with a married man at work, yes stupid i know, anyway it went on for a few months before he decided that he'd made a commitment to his wife and he should give it another go, so we broke up. However now he has left his wife...

A.   30 May 2008: Hi there, I dont think this man will change, if he cheated on his wife, there is a high possibility that he will cheat on you also. Please try to be strong and walk away from this one. Listen to Waterloo Sunset..what she says is correct. Y... (read in full...)

We are getting divorced, so why does he keep messing with my mind?

Q.   In 2006 i found out my husband of 11 years was having an affair with someone he met through work in a different country. We have since seperated and getting divorced. How do i move on when i still love him and would have him back? He is still seeing ...

A.   29 May 2008: Hi there, how stressful this must be for you! yes it must be hard when you still love him and know you would take him back, but at the end of the day he is still seeing this other women. 11 year of marriage is a long time. Did he explain his reas... (read in full...)

Is my girlfriend leaving me because of low self-esteem as she says??

Q.   Hello anyone reading this... My girlfriend of 5 months just broke up with me tonight. I'm 23, and she's 20. We are in a long distance thing (we're talking 300 miles, as we go to different schools, but we have the same home town). We're ab...

A.   28 May 2008: Hello, I believe your girlfriend is suffering from depression, depression is a feeling of hopefullness, sometimes people can be in a crowd and still feel lonely and isolated. Her self esteem is not very high at the moment, its true. Its sounds l... (read in full...)

Don’t want to break up, so what I gonna do?

Q.   My boyfriend is breaking up with me, and actually this is not the first time. The fisrt time was one year ago, and we got back after 10 months. He made us back, he only said that he missed me so much and I have the same feeling as him. But we’ve ...

A.   28 May 2008: Hi there, Have you ever heard the saying "if you love someone, set them free". Your boyfriend i am sorry to say does not see you as a long term partner. Why would you want to be with someone who says to you that says he cant see himself doin... (read in full...)

Why would anyone do that? What should I do now?

Q.   I recently started taking ballroom classes, I met this guy at the class whom I felt very attracted to but he's 10 years older than me. NEways. We hung out outside of class, we went dancing a few times and I took him to my sorority formal, then I f...

A.   28 May 2008: Hi, yes i understand that it can be quite frustrating...but its his loss. Try punching a pillow to let off a bit of steam....better still if you have a friend you can rant on a bit..its helps.. try to forget..its not worth your energy. ... (read in full...)

Her ex is possesive and live-in... What to do?

Q.   I'm in a bit of a pickle, here, and I am looking for maybe some advice. I met this wonderful girl, she's extremely attractive, and we both like the aspects of eachother we believe are our most prominent. We make eachother laugh, and she is very ...

A.   28 May 2008: Hi there, It sounds like her ex is still interested in her. I honestly find it strange that she agreed to leave her ex move back in with her again, did he not have family or friends that he could have moved in with? Anyway you say this d... (read in full...)

What does this mean -I'm lost?

Q.   This is updated from earlier my boyfriend left for 3 days saying he needed to sort things out and stayed at a friends. Well he came home tonight saying he was coming to get some things I asked if we were over and if I could move on he got defensive ...

A.   28 May 2008: Hi there, Ok for some reason your boyfriend is lost, which means he is confused as to whether he wants to be in a relationship or not and needs the space to find out what he wants to do, so officially you are broke up. Did he mention what sor... (read in full...)

Why would anyone do that? What should I do now?

Q.   I recently started taking ballroom classes, I met this guy at the class whom I felt very attracted to but he's 10 years older than me. NEways. We hung out outside of class, we went dancing a few times and I took him to my sorority formal, then I f...

A.   28 May 2008: Hi there, until i read paragraph 5, i already came to the conclusion that he must have someone, a girlfriend etc as this would explain his behaviour. So i think this so called "friend" must be more than just a friend, thats the way it seems to... (read in full...)

How do you respond to someone who likes to play the perpetual victim?

Q.   I finally told my boyfriend that I no longer wanted to be exclusive with him. I gave a few reasons but really didn't want to bust his chops so just wrote some of the main things that were bothering me. I have always been the one who calls, t...

A.   27 May 2008: Hi there, your boyfriend sounds like a child and does not deserve you. He needs to grow up and start giving you the attention you deserve, it sounds like you are giving more that your fair share in this relationship and you are not getting anyt... (read in full...)

We were together for 6 years, and he dumped me with no explanation! What should I do?

Q.   I was dumped a week ago by my fiance and now i don't know what to do. We had been together for over 6 years (since school) and before we got together we were friends. He has been my whole life and i loved him so much. We weren't having problems as ...

A.   27 May 2008: Hi there, i really sympatise with you. What a tough period you are going through. I think he got scared, the fact that he was talking about getting a house, having kids has probably freaked him out a bit and needs to take a step back and so... (read in full...)

Is my guy gay?

Q.   hi i really need some good advice, Ive been dating a good friend, we have been on and off for a year, nothing serious but decided 3 months ago to make a proper go of it, we get on so well and really enjoy each others company, we split up last week ...

A.   27 May 2008: Hi Jenna, It sounds to me like your friend has low self esteem. It seems he is trying to fill some empty space inside and is using sex as a way to fill this need. He has admitted that he is addicted to sex and the 3 months he was with you he w... (read in full...)

I've been going out with a great girl for a year...but she cheated...should I stay with her or end it?

Q.   i have been going out with a great girl for about a year now.at the moment it is a long distance relationship. anyways we had an aruguement about the people she hangs around with over there guys hitting on her repeatedly,and me getting angry cause ...

A.   27 May 2008: Hi there, Its hard when you are in a long distance relationship, as you dont see the person as much as you would like to. You sound like a very caring person and she is lucky to have you. However,at the end of the day, there is nothing you c... (read in full...)

My boyfriend hits me and calls me names. I don't know what to do.

Q.   Ive bin with my boyfriend now for 2 years, at first he was lovely now he hits me pushes me, calls me names fat, ugly etc, wont help with the kids if he dont get his own way. one is his. he works in the day he comes home helps a bit with the children ...

A.   27 May 2008: Hello He has no right to hit you and push your about. Your boyfriend is abusive and you need to remove yourself from this environment, not just for your own sake but for the sake of your children. Your confidence is down because he is constant... (read in full...)

I had sex without a condom....could I be pregnant?

Q.   I had a terrible night after fighting with a friend and my best guy friend in the world was comforting me. Things got out of hand and we had sex without a condom. Fifteen minutes later, I ask if he is going to cum (I know, I get impatient) and he ...

A.   27 May 2008: Hi there, There is a possibility that you could be pregnant, but in order to be sure you could take the morning after pill, i know you mentioned that it does make you feel a bit sick but its better that bringing a baby into the world when you are ... (read in full...)

He called me by his ex girlfriend's name, should I be worried?

Q.   ok...my boyfriend was with a girl for five years, aparently it was a rocky relationship and she broke up with him. He persued a couple of relationships since, then went two years without anything. he's been with me now for about eight months, and ...

A.   26 May 2008: Hi there, honestly i dont think you have anything to worry about. It was just a slip of the tongue and as you said he was tired and he probably said it without even thinking. He has made his life plans that includes you, it definitely sound... (read in full...)

SITE VIDEO: April 2008 video from Andrew

Q.   Been a while since we had a video update. Anyone interested in being able to post their replies to the site as YouTube videos??...

A.   26 May 2008: Hi Andrew, only saw this today...great idea..good to finally put a face to the name. Excellent presentation..understood every word. Not sure how to use a webcam (dont have one..sorry) or even go about putting something on Youtude Video..n... (read in full...)

I'm only with my wife for the sake of my children. I don't want to hurt anyone, but...

Q.   Hi everyone, I have a big issue in my life right now, I am 45 years old and have been married for 15 years and have 2 wonderful teenage daughters, the thing is i no longer love my wife and we do not get on at all, i have stayed in the family home ...

A.   26 May 2008: Hi there, I think you need to take a step back and take some time to figure out what you are going to do. The fact that you have cheated means you have moved on from your marriage, the next step is to tell your wife. You need to first of all ... (read in full...)

Marriage break-up-Does anyone have any advice on how I can move forward and what is best to do first?

Q.   Feeling pretty desperate today and would be grateful for advice. I am 36 and been married for 15 years. During my 20's my marriage turned sour but it was never bad enough to leave. There has been a lot of verbal abuse and overbearing behaviour on ...

A.   26 May 2008: Hi there, I am very sorry to hear of your situation. You have been through so much, no wonder you retreated into your shell. I believe you have not wanted to sleep with your husband for 6 years because this was due to the fact that you su... (read in full...)

I hit my wife how do I make it up to her?

Q.   I Hit my wife four months ago and can't forgive myself. We were in a heated argument and I lost my temper and slaped her in the face. I would never hurt her she is the best thing that ever happened to me and I love her and can't live without her. ...

A.   26 May 2008: Hi, Not an easy thing. Are you sure you wont do it again? How do you know when you lose your temper again that you wont do it again. I know you dont want to, but its possible that this can happen when you have another heated arguement and you ... (read in full...)

My boyfriends ex-wife keeps calling!

Q.   My boyfriends ex-wife keeps calling. They were only together for 3 years, but only married and together for 3 months. They had a child together, but lost custody a member of his family member, and a few months later were divorced. They have been ...

A.   26 May 2008: Hi, The fact that they have a child together, its possible that they do need to talk about certain issues that arise. When there is a child involved, they will have to communicate in some ways. There must be some serious issues if both of them ... (read in full...)

How can I get over my paranoia about my girl going out of of town on a works night out?

Q.   my girlfriend is going on a works night out and because she works out of town and the night is at a hotel i said she should get a room. to which she replied "just imagine all the lads from work would be init" this just burnt my head out. i said if ...

A.   26 May 2008: Hi there, it sounds like your girlfriend is trying to make you feel insecure, why else would she say something like this. I dont think it is something she would take up on..as she has said it to you. Have you mentioned to her how you feel aft... (read in full...)

He is even more distant than before, is it over?

Q.   Been with my boyfriend 7 months. got together with him shortly after a very hard and hurtful relationship. He was there for me and lovely. fell in love quickly and were sooo happy for 6 months. he gone weird the last month and distant. MORE INFO IN ...

A.   26 May 2008: Hi there, I know you are hurting and its a very hard thing that you are going through. Would it be possible for you to ask him directly if your relationship is over? He is not being fair to you, i am sorry to say i think the relationship is ... (read in full...)

Please help me gain my confidence back?

Q.   For five months I had been seeing a girl only to find out from a mutual friend that she had a boyfriend the entire time, which she hid from me. Because of this my confidence with girls has been hurt greatly. I know I need to meet some one new,...

A.   17 May 2008: Hi there, then try to be strong and realise that you have done nothing wrong. She is the one that is wrong and dont give her another moments consideration. You sound like a lovely person so will find someone in time who is worth your time ... (read in full...)

Am I a whore for liking so many guys?

Q.   am I a whoRe because I like so many guys i.e. 2-6 I just can't decide between them I know which ones I like more but it does really change much some I think are cute some I really like but its hard to choose which one to go for?...

A.   16 May 2008: No darling, you are not...you are at that stage in your life that you like boys and are weighing up your options. I am presuming that you are not imtimate with these, i hope not, you are to young. Just take your time and be careful sweety. ... (read in full...)

I am a changed person. How can I convince her?

Q.   I am in the military and on deployment right now. i cheated and hurt my fiancee worse then i can imagine, she ended up moving back home before i went on deployment and we didnt talk for almost a month. i ended up going home and spending every minute ...

A.   16 May 2008: Hi, It is understandable how she is feeling at the moment. It will take time for her to see how much you have changed and this will only come with time, its hard for someone when they know that the one person they trusted in this world could be... (read in full...)

She cheated, but I'm still in love with her. Will she do it again?

Q.   ON the 11th, was our 1 year anniversity, and she cheatted on me then and also on the 12th, that I know of, as that is all she told me. I'm still in love with her, and didn't let her know how much it hurt me, I just told her, that it's ok, and not ...

A.   16 May 2008: Hi there, but she is hurting you...please try to see this. You sound like a very caring person and she does not deserve you. Try to be strong, she is not thinking of your feelings when she is cheating on you. I know it is very hard whe... (read in full...)

I'm confused, am I missing something here?

Q.   Hi Me a my boyfriend of 4 years have talked about marriage, i wanted to go ahead but he's not so keen. He says he's not in to marriage, what difference is a piece of paper going to make, and that he loves me. Then the other day his friend came ...

A.   16 May 2008: Hi there, I think it comes down to the whole commitment thing again, marriage means different things to different people. Your boyfriend is being upfront with you by telling you that he does not want to be married, so it really boils dow... (read in full...)

My friend likes a 30 year old... am I blind or is this not wrong?

Q.   I'm 17 and my friend is 16. We met this guy through an online game, he's 30 years old. I was the one that introduced him to her, little did I no that it would ever result in some sort of gross relationship. First of all, my friend is the most ...

A.   16 May 2008: Hi there, For me, meeting people like this online is something i would be very careful about. You dont really know much about this guy, he could be married in a relationship etc. How do you know for sure he is really 30? I am just asking t... (read in full...)

Please help me gain my confidence back?

Q.   For five months I had been seeing a girl only to find out from a mutual friend that she had a boyfriend the entire time, which she hid from me. Because of this my confidence with girls has been hurt greatly. I know I need to meet some one new,...

A.   16 May 2008: Hi Cana, Sorry to hear you are feeling like this. First of all just want to ask, this mutual friend of yours, are you sure that this friend is a reliable source when they say, she has been seeing someone else, the only reason i ask this is somet... (read in full...)

She cheated, but I'm still in love with her. Will she do it again?

Q.   ON the 11th, was our 1 year anniversity, and she cheatted on me then and also on the 12th, that I know of, as that is all she told me. I'm still in love with her, and didn't let her know how much it hurt me, I just told her, that it's ok, and not ...

A.   13 May 2008: Hi there, What she done was a very hurtful thing, she cheated on you so the trust that you once had is gone. If you tell her its ok and do not show her how hurt you were, then there is a possibility she will do it again, i think she may do... (read in full...)

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