A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was talking to guy about 6 months ago who made it plain the first time around he only wanted a hook up through his actions. He didn't verbally tell me but his actions indicated that he just wanted to hook up. He brought up sex in our first conversation and wanted to come over at my place. Needlessly to say, I told him that I'm looking for more than just a hook up. I proceeded to tell him that I want to keep our interactions outside our homes as we get to know each other. He never responded back and that was it. Then last month after being in no contact for 5 months, he contacted me and started talking like nothing happened. I have to admit that I was lonely so I succumb to his contact .We are hanging out this week. So my question is, why would you return when I explained to him clearly how I felt the first time if he just wants a hook up?If a hook was all he wanted then you'd know he can get a hook up just about anywhere..? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 March 2016):
 He believes in " If you do not succeed at first, try, try again ".
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (22 March 2016):
 Yup, he's trying to see if he will get lucky this one time.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (22 March 2016):
 He is cocksure of himself. He think your "no" means yes, if he is just persistent enough.
My guess is, he has met other girls who told him no, yet they still ended up in his bed.
I'd just simply block him, he isn't a "changed man" who all of a sudden takes you serious.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (22 March 2016):
 Why would he return?
Direct marketers know that they will only get 1 percent of customers to respond to their marketing, but if they keep trying, they will convert a small amount more. The financial and time investment is miniscule, per potential customer.
Players know that they will be rejected by the majority of women they approach. The let rejection go, they don’t take it personally, it’s just part of the game to them.
The player also knows that even though he might have been told “no” once, he takes that as a negotiating start, not an absolute “NEVER CONTACT ME AGAIN YOU DESPERATE JERK” kind of thing.
So he will try again.
The player finds the vulnerable, like you, who will start talking to him again, despite knowing already that he only wants a hook up.
He’s basically a direct marketer, the more offers he puts out there, despite many rejections, he’ll be assured of at least a small percentage return, i.e. sex.
If you are okay with feeling lonely after hooking up with a player then by all means continue contact. But you did say that you’re looking for more than a hookup.
So decide if your loneliness and need for a hookup outweighs your common sense which told you that this guy is only in it for the sex.
PASS, I would say.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (22 March 2016):
 I'm with the others. He's just sniffing around again.
You've pretty much made it plain (by YOUR actions) that you haven't had any takers since you last spoke so maybe you'll be desperate enough to take him....this time on his terms.
I'd re-think the while hanging out thing. It's up to you.
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A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (22 March 2016):
 I still think hook up is all he wants, but after 5 months of talking the same pick-up line to every girl, and hasn't gotten hooked up, he may have realized that he needs another line of speech to get the hook. So, it so happens, you were lonely and succumbed to his contact, so he took it in order to try his new line of storytelling aimed at the same thing.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (21 March 2016):
 Don't get your hopes up to much, he probably still just wants a hook up. But he now sees you as a challenge therefore he thought he would talk to you again. It is more than likely he wasn't getting very far with others and figured he would try you again. Hang out surely as long as you set your boundaries and you both know where you stand.
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