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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
Just some fun!
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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Why hasn't she reciprocated and told me she loves me too?
Q. I told my GF I loved her two months ago and she hasnt reciprocated. Weve been together since dec 2014. She has not gotten distant only closer to me. I havent asked her why as im not a soft wuss im just wondering if she needs more consistent action ...
A. 7 May 2015: Maybe she doesn't love you?... (read in full...)
I think my Father is making a huge mistake! There is red flag after red flag with her!
Q. My Father is making a huge mistake. My Mom died over 12yrs ago and my Father has remained single for the most part. He is now in his 70's and met a woman 30 yrs younger. She is actually only a few months younger than my oldest brother. I ...
A. 7 May 2015: A man in his seventies knows a lot about life and is not likely to be manipulated easily. You have to bear in mind that he was a grown man by the time the lady was born.
It is clear to me that the lady is after something; most probably money. ... (read in full...)
How else could I have handled this situation? Am I wrong to be upset at his behaviour?
Q. I met my husband and child at a restaurant (took separate cars due to a reason) I parked my car then got out and looked around to see where they were. I waited for a while then called him asking where they were. He tells me they are inside t...
A. 5 May 2015: I think you blew this out of proportion.... (read in full...)
Initial start went well. Since Thursday it's all come to a full stop. Any advice of why this could be?
Q. I started talking to someone and we have a lot in common. We decided to meet up to see if we like each other in person. It went great we instantly gelled, few hugs and we even held hands. She even said she really likes me. She's going through so...
A. 5 May 2015: Could be anything.
The important thing here is whether you will see her again or not. Wait to see if SHE calls you again. If she doesn't, then the reason why won't matter at all.
In the meantime, don't agonize over why she's doing that. It'... (read in full...)
I am addicted to visiting prostitutes and it is taking over my life. How can I get over this addiction?
Q. I got used to using prostitutes about some 3 yrs ago and I'm so addicted to it. sometimes I visit brothels 3 times a week. I just finished my higher education going back to school so I could get my degree but ever since I got addicted to it. I just...
A. 4 May 2015: Either you go, or don't. Your choice.... (read in full...)
Despite the difficulties I still love her. But what to do? My daughter thinks that I should ask her to leave
Q. My partner is causing me concern in that she does the complete opposite of what is asked of her, when we got together she was very quiet and then after a couple of weeks she started talking to me with rude words. I told her that I dont take this typ...
A. 4 May 2015: Kick her out of the house. She's using you, and she will continue to use you for as long as you let her.... (read in full...)
The smell of smokers is a turn-off for me. Was it wrong of me to reject her? What else could I do?
Q. I am a guy who doesn't seem to have problems attracting girls. I can't stand girls when they are drunk or smokers, also both because of the smell. The drunk ones are not an issue, as I tell them that when we meet, she should refrain from drinkin...
A. 4 May 2015: Either you're with her (and her smell of smoke) or not. You choose.... (read in full...)
I would like to have a real future with him. He is married and he and I had a relationship earlier. Am I hoping for too much?
Q. I have had an affair with a guy for about three years and I ended it when I realised he was not going to leave his wife. We have been on friendly terms ever since. Now, 4 years later I am going trough a really,really rough time and he helps me ...
A. 4 May 2015: I believe the following to be true:
- He isn't going to leave his wife.
- It wouldn't be right if he did.
- He says he doesn't want sex but he does want it.
I believe you should cut your losses now. In a few years you will notice that thi... (read in full...)
Why don't I get approached by normal guys?
Q. I'm a young woman, and let's just say that I am very inexperienced with dating/guys/etc. I do have male friends but I've never gone on a date or had a boyfriend. I don't get out much nor do I meet many new people, but every single time I get hit on ...
A. 31 August 2014: I think everyone has made a good contribution so far. A summary could perhaps help: Maybe you attract those guys because of the places you hang around. There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with you. So, either ask your friends to set you up ... (read in full...)
I bought the ticket, now I am not sure if I should go or not!
Q. This isn't really a big relationship questions, but it's bothering me a lot. I met this guy from Germany last month, he was travelling around my country with his friends and we hung out a lot, eventually made out and had a really fun week togethe...
A. 31 August 2014: I believe he's been hanging around with more than one girl during his trip, and probably isn't going to have a relationship with any.
He's studying and just having some semesters abroad (for the language and all), so he will go back to Germany.... (read in full...)
We broke up but I still feel like I should tell him I went out for drinks
Q. I was in a long distance relationship for almost a year. He and I had several problems throughout the relationship, initially about opening up and then trust issues towards the end. In the beginning after a month or so of dating he was demanding...
A. 21 July 2014: You need to make decide whether you want to stay in a relationship with him or not.... (read in full...)
His attitude has me wondering if he knew that he had herpes and didn't tell me. Do I walk away?
Q. Hi - about 12 months ago my boyfriend (who I have been with for a couple of years)was diagnosed with a condition called 'balanitis' and it has been difficult to treat. He also had genital herpes early during the diagnosis which the clinic felt may ...
A. 21 July 2014: Herpes never goes away. Balanitis, which is an inflammation of the head of the penis, has many causes, and there's one of them that never goes away.
His diseases have created a situation where you feel you will not be having the children you want... (read in full...)
I don't want to give him an ultimatum, either pick me or masturbation/porn but his choice is having an impact on our sex life. What would you do?
Q. My boyfriend of 6 months has a lot of great qualities but our sex life is lacking. He can't always maintain an erection when we're having sex or when he can he can sometimes he still can't orgasm. He says he watches a lot of porn and masturb...
A. 21 July 2014: Many men complain that their penises become less sensitive with age. If you think about it, it's only normal: if every other part of the human body decays, why should the penis not decay as well?
Diabetes is terrible for penile sensatio... (read in full...)
It's not that he's cheap, but he resents my paying for a housekeeper
Q. Started living with my boyfriend and he expresses his negative opinion about my housekeeping methods. Basically I really can make myself do all the housework and i don't want him to do it also. He grew up in a household where his mother stayed home ...
A. 21 July 2014: Having someone who does your cleaning also means having someone who knows your private life.
It seems he thinks house chores are something people should do by themselves, and so he sees no reason why you should pay AND lose privacy.
He also... (read in full...)
Should I hope for the best? Or allow my insecurity about my breasts be enough to put me off being intimate with a partner?
Q. I recently got into a long distance relationship with an exceptionally charming man. We have made plans to meet in future but I am afraid of getting intimate for one reason: my breasts. I know it sounds silly, but I am very self conscious about ...
A. 21 July 2014: He won't mind. Trust me.... (read in full...)
Was he being polite or is he interested?
Q. Hi, I'm just confused about a guy I met the other night, if he's interested or not I was out drinking and we met at the bar, talked for a bit but I felt like I was being awkward which is common for me, then at the end of the night we hugged goodby...
A. 21 July 2014: I agree with Janniepeg.... (read in full...)
I'm married and have been chatting with a man for a year. We'll never meet so its harmless isnt it?
Q. Ok so where do I start. When I was on maternity, I spent long days in the house by myself. My husband has become rather un-attentive and has lost interest in most conversation. I was very lonely and restricted in money for doing activities...
A. 21 July 2014: If it were your husband who had an online friend and not you, would you feel it would be harmless?... (read in full...)
She took my virginity and now she's all cold?
Q. So... Sort of a long story. I'm a 19 year old male and up until recently had been a virgin. Wanted to lose it to someone I care about. Well, I've been falling for this girl for a while, she knew the situation and was falling for me, but had a lo...
A. 21 July 2014: This girl only wanted sex from you.
When the time for sex came, you were very anxious and could not give her what she expected. So now she doesn't want to give you another chance, and she said that.
You will perform better the next time you tr... (read in full...)
How long can I hide my girlfriend's job from my family and friends? We are planning a life together!
Q. Following divorce/kids I have met a fantastic woman. We have fallen in love and are making plans to spend our lives together. One problem is her work - she is a lap dancer. The job pays well and she has done it for several years. I have no...
A. 10 May 2014: I say, you have to take her as she is. If people question her job, you have to dismiss them with "I know and I want her that way". I bet someone among your acquaintances must have seen her before.
In my small neck in the woods, stories to cover... (read in full...)
Are there any decent guys out there still? Will I ever find somebody normal?
Q. I'm a depressed, 32 year old female and I'm starting to wonder whether I will ever find a normal guy....I'm loyal, attractive, caring, trustworthy and I seem to end up with all of these guys that have 1 or more major issues. I know nobody is ...
A. 10 May 2014: I'm with Olderthandirt.
The fact is that "decent" has really nothing at all to do with "attractive", "having similar tastes" and the many et ceteras one tends to associate with decency.
Ugly men who don't shave, don't change their underwear ... (read in full...)
She broke up with me because of anxiety, but doesn't want to give me details
Q. Hi, I am was dating a girl who I got on really well. One day she called it off. Not in the usual way, it sounded quite strange. Anyway, she has kept in touch with me for quite a while now. She sounds like she wants to date again. When I asked ...
A. 10 May 2014: I agree with CMMP.... (read in full...)
My sister is having an affair and I've about had it
Q. I am 35 years old and I have three older sisters. The middle one is 45 years old and twice-divorced. She has been having an affair with a married man from her work for almost three years now. He says he has to stay with his wife for the kids but...
A. 2 May 2014: Pick your mother up but don't go to the party, and say you didn't because of the way they disrespected your mother.... (read in full...)
I want to keep this private. What should I say if classmates ask about my absence, without sounding rude and mean?
Q. Hi I'm 14 and need advice on what to tell people when I go to the therapist. I will go on Monday for the first time. It is weekly and will fall on the same day, time and lesson. The teachers know but I'm unsure about what I'll say to my 'class...
A. 25 April 2014: Say that you have some family things to arrange and that they must remain private for the sake of your relative.
All the best.... (read in full...)
I imagined having a boyfriend would be a nice experience, but I find myself alone, fighting to be by the side of a person who is thinking about someone else
Q. Today is my boyfriend's birthday, we've been together for one month and a half (we were friends before becoming a couple). I baked a cake, bought candles, made a card, bought tons of presents, I just want to make him happy. First thing he ...
A. 25 April 2014: CMPP said it all.... (read in full...)
Have you ever found hard physical evidence of an affair?
Q. My husband had to go to a branch office to concur with people, because the branch office was closing down. It was a day trip. When he got home from work at his normal time he changed into a t-shirt, I noticed 3 long scratches on his left bicep. ...
A. 25 April 2014: The scratches are not conclusive, but very suggestive. They shouldn't be there in the first place.
Open your eyes and see if you find something else.... (read in full...)
Am I deluding myself? Should I make a move on this aged 40s guy who I think flirts with me?
Q. Hi, i want to know if this man has a thing for me or i am deluding myself? I know a man professionally and don't see him often but when i do he is always looking at my chest, flirting with and more importantly always going above and beyond when i a...
A. 25 April 2014: We don't know whether he is interested or not. Maybe he likes you, and likes your physical features, as men will like women. But he hasn't gone beyond the flirting.
On another note, maybe you'd be better off with someone of more similar age.... (read in full...)
How can I move on? Still having trouble getting over my ex.
Q. Hi, I was with a younger guy (12 years diff) for a year. It ended messy and we no longer keep in contact. My problem is I can't get over him and still love him so very much. I feel constant pain and hurt and would just do anything to talk or see h...
A. 9 April 2014: Time should heal this.... (read in full...)
This incident made me question whether our core values are in sync
Q. I feel very disappointed in my girlfriend of almost 4 years yesterday, but I don't think she understands the core issue (or maybe it's not an issue). We are 29 and 28. We were in a car driving to a birthday event about an hour away with my gir...
A. 9 April 2014: One could argue that you could have done something for the hungry man yourself. This is not an idle point: if your values are about feeding the hungry, then you could have done that yourself.
But your question is about whether your girlfrie... (read in full...)
He seems to have a 'type' and I'm not it, should I be concerned?
Q. Ok quick question that needs some honest answers .... If a woman is with a man and he is often commenting in women he thinks are attractive and every single one of those seem like a similar type which happens to be nothing like her ... Does she have ...
A. 9 April 2014: We men like different kind of women.... (read in full...)
I like this guy but I'm worried he's heard something negative about me!
Q. I met this guy I really like at the gym. I add him on facebook and he messages me his number. We text for a couple of days and he said that he was out in town on saturday night and if i was out to go and meet him for a drink. I didnt contact him sat ...
A. 9 April 2014: If he likes you, he'll stay in touch. Just go on with your usual life.... (read in full...)
Should I tell a girl I like her even though she has a boyfriend now?
Q. I have liked this girl for over a year almost 2. I am 25 she's in her 30's. We have got along well, she has always given me those "looks" she always laughs when she's talking to me and can be touchy. Thing is I wasn't sure as she's kinda flirty with ...
A. 9 April 2014: No.... (read in full...)
I don't want anyone but medical staff in the room during delivery!
Q. I want to be on my own when i give birth in july...i would like my husband anf family waiting but for my own personal reasons i dont want amyone in the room with me (obviousley apart from any midwives or doctors) but i know my husband really wants ...
A. 9 April 2014: Fine.... (read in full...)
My soon-to-be-deported husband is spending my money on his mother and told me not to spend it on my own parents! Any ideas what to do?
Q. My husband is to be deported and is currently detained by immigration. I have financially supported him for a long time now and also whilst he is in immigration detention i have sent money and visited 3 times per week. He has been detained now for ...
A. 9 April 2014: If his mother is in her forties, how old is he? It seems he's younger than you.
You suggested a holiday for you two only, and he suggests one with his mother, and then spending money you don't have. He then says he will spend good money on buyin... (read in full...)
First love, reunited 30 years later, he's married!!!
Q. Where do I start? Guess at the beginning ... 30+ years ago, I fell in love with a boy that I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. He was my first love, physically and emotionally. His family moved away and our relationship, due to ...
A. 9 April 2014: Sorry. He's married. You may have something with him if he gets a divorce. But don't ask him to; just say you can't be with him unless he's free.... (read in full...)
Why am I pushing this good man away?
Q. I have been dating a man for 6 months. Everything has been great. He's very sweet, very gentle, and would do anything for me. I find myself pushing him away within the past few weeks, distancing myself for no reason....picking small fights, turning ...
A. 17 March 2014: You don't really like this fine guy. Move on.... (read in full...)
My ex won't let me move on
Q. Ok so... I had been with my ex boyfriend for 2 years. We had a very toxic relationship and looking back i really wish i had got out sooner. We would constantly argue, he was very spiteful towards me, he was addicted to porn lied to me on a numbe...
A. 17 March 2014: What Ciar said.... (read in full...)
Is 26 too late to start a new life?
Q. I've suffered from serious bouts of depression and anxiety related disorders since I was 18, and used to binge drink regularly to alleviate my woes. I'm almost 26 and I don't know how but i'm managing to overcome this mindset which has made my life ...
A. 17 March 2014: 26 years of age is like only getting started. Get started anew. You're young, man.... (read in full...)
My first reaction was to lie, and it's causing problems now
Q. I’m 32 and my boyfriend is 37. We’ve been together for 8 months, and he moved in with me about 2 months ago. I know it sounds like it happened fast, but it feels right and we’re definitely in love. Here’s the problem: sometimes he goes through my ...
A. 17 March 2014: Xearo said it right.... (read in full...)
I'm struggling with what he calls his dry sense of humour
Q. I love my boyfriend who is 40 of 7 months but don't like aspects of his personality. He can be very sarcastic and make derogatory comments about my weight. I'm a size 12 Uk and run and ramble, bike on the Downs etc. He makes comments about women ...
A. 13 March 2014: Do the bad aspects of his offset the good aspects?... (read in full...)
Need a place to turn in a marriage where I feel like I have no choice
Q. My stepdaughter has always been a source of problems, particularly when it comes to her relationship with her mother: whatever stepdaughter wants, stepdaughter gets. Over the near 17 years of my marriage I've been mostly able to afford these ext...
A. 13 March 2014: You sound to me like a man who wants to be not just the breadwinner but the provider for the whole family. That's fine. However, even that must have a limit. You should not be seen as the bank who will pay the way out of any problem.
For e... (read in full...)
I just can't help thinking that maybe he was more satisfied with her in the bedroom and now I'm even starting to think he may be comparing us in his head!
Q. A few nights ago my boyfriend and I were talking and just goofing around and joking etc, and we ended up talking about his past sex life with his ex. This is the ex where they lost their virginity's together and the only girl he's ever been intimate ...
A. 13 March 2014: Tisha above gave you wonderful advice. I have a feeling that she's looking at this from the point of view of a woman. I think you would get a lot from considering the point of view of a man. I'm not sure he said anything just because he wanted to ... (read in full...)
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