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*reebird agony aunt

*reebird

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*reebird's profile:

Hey All,

I am a student aged 29 married and getting divorced soon.

I imagine myself capable of advising people though I am mostly in need of advice myself! But I have had my share of lows and highs which I think is what makes you sensitive to other people's worries and situations.

So here I am, willing lend an ear and ready to wipe those tears off your beautiful faces!!!

Cheers

FB

Latest articles:

Dynamic Meditation as Quick Fix in Moving On

No replies yet...

19 May 2009: Hi Everybody, I have been going through a terrible and devastating break up lately. I would like to share with you one thing which saw me through these difficult times and has been an amazing source of strength. Dynamic Meditation or active med...

Difference between boredom and lonliness

This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

9 April 2009: This post is dedicated to understanding the difference between boredom and loneliness. Boredom is when you feel that you have pursued an action or an emotion or a person enough and you do not know which is the action, emotion or person to be pur...

Mutual break up, but ex has a new girlfriend already...and I feel terrible!!

Q.   I am feeling really distraught at the moment. After 2 years of being together, me and my partner decided to end the relationship. This was a mutual break up, as we just weren't compatible. Throughout the relationship we have really respected each ...

A.   18 May 2011: Hi, I guess you should just move on and stop contacting him for a while. Only when you get a breathing space you would be able to fully move on and stay friends. Do you suspect that he has been having an affair with this girl prior to your break up... (read in full...)

The sex is great, but he's selfish. Am I wasting my time?

Q.   I am 37 years old and have been dating my boyfriend for 3+ years. We have been living together for a year. We both have previous unsuccessful marriages and aren't in any hurry to get married (if ever). My problem is, he is self-proclaimed selfish ...

A.   20 June 2009: I can understand you. been there done that. and really burned my fingers!!! The problem with such guys is that they are capable of giving you a shock. But until that shock comes, its really difficult to make up your mind. So enjoy the sex and prep... (read in full...)

Broke up to much ago and still can't get over her. I loved her.

Q.   I dated this girl for about 10 months until our breakup two months ago. 10 months may not seem like a long time to fall in love, but this girl really got to me. She broke up because she felt "confused" because she ran into her bastard exbf right ...

A.   17 June 2009: Hi there, I think its not easy to get over a relationship where you really loved and gave yourself. So I think you need to console yourself. And give yourself time. I am also going through a break up. I can't sleep, I have dark circles around my e... (read in full...)

I just want my sister and I to get along!

Q.   I'm really nice to my little sister (11) but she is mean to me. We get along but out of no where she will start calling me names and hitting me for no reason. I'll hit her back some times but I get tired of it. I really want me and her to be close ...

A.   13 June 2009: Hi there, Its very nice that you want your sister to accept you as a friend. Its great to have a sister. But when I was growing up , me and my brother used to fight a lot. I once pushed him to the wall and he had this enormous bump on his head. po... (read in full...)

Leaving my wife after 15 years of pain

Q.   My wife changed the night our first child was born. We had been together for two years before that, and she was a happy, loving woman. When I left her at the hospital after our son was born, she was still the same happy woman, but when I came to ...

A.   10 June 2009: Oh I am sorry to hear this. I know that people with depression have poor self esteem and its so difficult to make them come out of their depression. I really can understand you now. I think you are left with no option. Also you might just need so... (read in full...)

Leaving my wife after 15 years of pain

Q.   My wife changed the night our first child was born. We had been together for two years before that, and she was a happy, loving woman. When I left her at the hospital after our son was born, she was still the same happy woman, but when I came to ...

A.   9 June 2009: Hi there, I think you are quite sure that you have done everything to make the relationship work. I hope you have taken a vacation together etc without the kids and that she has tried therapies like yoga/ meditation. I think your decision to ... (read in full...)

How do I avoid impure sexual relationships?

Q.   I have a strong faith in Jesus Christ..but it just is getting harder and harder to stay away from sexual-like relationships that are impure. what to do??...

A.   9 June 2009: Hi, I just noticed your age. I think you can postpone sex a little bit. But no need to feel guilty about any sexual thoughts or relationships. Jesus came to us not to make us guilty but to make us free. I don't think he will be unhappy with you... (read in full...)

How do I avoid impure sexual relationships?

Q.   I have a strong faith in Jesus Christ..but it just is getting harder and harder to stay away from sexual-like relationships that are impure. what to do??...

A.   9 June 2009: Hi there, Its lovely that you love and trust Jesus. But I was wondering why that should be a hindrance to having sexual relationships. What do you mean by impure relationships? Jesus loves us as we are. For him, we are all pure whatever we may t... (read in full...)

How to get over first love after years.

Q.   Hello, I'll try to explain my story the best i can, i guess i can be considered to be someone with a tough time getting through an old love story and, i guess, some self-esteem issue. I'll just tell you my story a bit so, i don't know, it...

A.   5 June 2009: Hi, Oh you sound so hurt.. I think you are young enough to wait for true love. And its good that you are taking time to get over a relationship. Its sign of somebody who can offer stability and who is emotionally mature. But don't overdo it. You... (read in full...)

Was I used as a one night stand?

Q.   me and a guy friend of mine was playing around yesterday night and i went down on him... but i haven't heard anything from him since then. was i a one night stand? i feel awful about it he was my 1st and i haven't known him along time or anything ...

A.   3 June 2009: Hey, I can understand you. You seem to be worried that you lost your virginity to a man who doesn't seem to care at all. But stuff happens. Now , you might want to talk to him and find out whether he is interested in taking the reationship ... (read in full...)

How do I become attracted to her again?

Q.   Basically, been with my girlfriend for a year and i love her to bits but i'm totally unattracted to her now, she lost her job and has went WAY down hill, she just sits around all day, today i got offered a job and she went mental, but the thing is ...

A.   2 June 2009: Hi there, First, why did she go mental when you got a job offer? Second, you basically have to tell yourself that there are ups and downs in a relationship. So I don't think its entirely unusual to feel a little less in love/ 'unattracted' at times... (read in full...)

Sex 101

Q.   Hello all! I am really looking for some male help on this one. My boyfriend and I have an amazing sex life. We are pretty open to trying new things but lately things have been a little boring. We have done the role play and used the products, ...

A.   2 June 2009: Hey, I am this big fan of Osho. I am sure he is old fashioned in the west. But why not read 'from sex to super consciousness'? Its a great book and offers a fresh perspective on sex and love. It will totally change your views on sex. You might stil... (read in full...)

Why do women like bad boys? Because they treat them badly?

Q.   I like to think of myself as a nice guy. I enjoy breaking the myth that nice guys finish last, I'm well off, good at my job, phyisically fit and an acomplished sportsman. I have however fallen flat on my face when it comes to dating. Women just are ...

A.   30 May 2009: Hi, I was with a sworn 'bad boy' who became worser day by day and eventually ditched me. I think some women like me like to think of themselves as saviours and angels of bad boys and subsequently get battered , shattered and tattered. But defi... (read in full...)

Why did my period end so soon and was so late?

Q.   Hi, was having unprotected sex with boyfriend for about seven weeks. Period was three weeks late and finished after two days (my periods last 5 days) tests came up negative, and i took four including a hospital one. Whats going on with my body? Wh...

A.   30 May 2009: Hey, I think you should wait for your next period. Periods can be late or early at times if you are stressed/ have health problems and even if there is a change in climate. If you are tensed about getting pregnant then you could do a test after a ... (read in full...)

Broke up badly, we share mutual friends, and that is becoming a problem, please help?

Q.   I had a major fight with my best friend, he finished the friendship and he wants nothing to do with me. This happened 6 months ago. I've moved to the next city so I don't see him anymore, however he still hangs out with mutual friends that I'm in ...

A.   29 May 2009: Hey there, I think you need to be more clear about what you want. All your friends seem to be not understanding your side of the story. So you could take this opportunity to clear these misunderstandings. Also what is not clear from your ques... (read in full...)

Possible yeast infection please help!

Q.   I think I have yeast infection for many years now. I didn't realize it first because I was young. I have white/cheesy discharge when I was around 12-15 yo then its stop. It’s kind of on and off. I also have abnormal menstruation cycle (the longest ...

A.   25 May 2009: dear, I don't think I can answer your questions. However, here are some tips from a google search. Remember, its a life style disease. So change your life style. this is a test for candida: http://www.adhdrelief.com/CandidaTest.html the diet ... (read in full...)

Possible yeast infection please help!

Q.   I think I have yeast infection for many years now. I didn't realize it first because I was young. I have white/cheesy discharge when I was around 12-15 yo then its stop. It’s kind of on and off. I also have abnormal menstruation cycle (the longest ...

A.   23 May 2009: Hey, It would be great if you can use home made yoghurt. Apparently that works better. may be because the amount of preservatives (which are like anti biotics) is low. but first find out whether you have yeast infection. also make sure you eat... (read in full...)

My son's girlfriend died in a car accident, and he has not been able to move on, can you provide any advice so I can help him?

Q.   My 22 yr old son was in a car accident a year ago and his 19 yr old girlfriend died. I understand that it was hard for him but I am really wooried about him. He hasnt moved on at all. In one full year he has not lef tthe house unless he was forced. ...

A.   10 May 2009: Do you want to ask him to try dynamic mediataion. Its a great form of release from pent up emotions. Heres a demo. It was developed by Osho. I found it very useful after a break up from my boyfriend. You might have to buy the DVD . see this link ... (read in full...)

I know I did the right thing by breaking things off but the guilt is really bothering me

Q.   we had a breakup recently ...it was a year old relationship ....she has taken care of me and loved me like her own child...all i can say is she loved me crazily and has supported me a lot ....she said she can cross any limits to see me happy ...but ...

A.   10 May 2009: Hi there, I feel that its not breaking up which matters but rather how you do it. You should not feel guilty if you have been honest to yourself and your GF. I guess you did the right thing. You did not leave her for someone or have been dis... (read in full...)

How can I make sure I don't respond to my FWB when I suffer from a lack of will power?

Q.   I fell deeply in love with my fwb. To this day i don't know how he felt about me but he told me he really liked me and didn't just want me for sex. He gave loads of hints that he liked me but now i see he was most likely lying to me. Anyway, h...

A.   10 May 2009: Hi there. I think you know the answer. Basically you need to start caring for yourself. Tell yourself that you can respond to his calls if you want to. The choice is yours. Nobody can hurt you if you do not want to hurt yourself. Also make... (read in full...)

My fiance is a foreigner, and I have found out he is married!

Q.   I have been in a relationship for quite along time now and we have recently engaged he is of foreign nationality. I have recently discovered various things i didn't know about him eg: marriage of possible convenience for status. I don't know wha...

A.   10 April 2009: Hi there, I guess people do get married to get legal status. It happens among immigrants. But the point here is that he lied to you. Worse, he is not ready to open up and acknowledge this. Don't take the guilt trip. You are perfectly justified ... (read in full...)

Difference between boredom and lonliness

Q.   This post is dedicated to understanding the difference between boredom and loneliness. Boredom is when you feel that you have pursued an action or an emotion or a person enough and you do not know which is the action, emotion or person to be pur...

A.   10 April 2009: Hi Klara, Thanks for initiating discussion. It was not my intention to say that lonliness and boredom are negative. It was only to understand their nature. I agree with you on this need to connect. But my point is that if this need comes from ... (read in full...)

Ladies, what is it with this "let's still be friends" line?

Q.   When I like girl and she plays me for an ego boost I really don't want to talk to her ever again. It's happened before and I simply don't care. In one case it's been 3 years and she still randomly emails me out of the blue in the face of my dead ...

A.   9 April 2009: I totally agree with you. I am currently going thru that kind of crap. My boyfriend ditched me and went for an arranged marriage and he wants to remain friends. I feel that its just to conceal their guilt and to keep you on the shelf as you say. ... (read in full...)

I want my mum to accept my boyfriend. How can I do this?

Q.   I've been going out with my boyfriend for the past six months, but before we were going out we were good friends and introduced him to my parents. After 3 months i told my mum i was going out with him and she got angry, not because i have a b/f but ...

A.   4 October 2008: Hey there, I am from India. I know what is happening in your case. brownskinned people are likely to show more racism than whites. So I guess you will have to live with your mom to some extent. A possible way out is to calmly talk to your mom abou... (read in full...)

What responsibility do you have to someone cheating on their husband?

Q.   This question is theoretical... You have a very good friend, who is married, and she is cheating on her husband with another man. At a party, the lover makes a full out pass at you (because he figures all this woman's friends cheat too...)....

A.   2 July 2008: I agree, completely with uncle sneaker. I was in a similar situation and did nothing. the point is that you are the outsider, not your best friend or her lover! fb... (read in full...)

SITE NEWS: Over 600,000 visitors last month!

Q.   Just a quickie We broke the 600,000 unique users/month (i.e. people!) last month. According to google analytics we had 638,310 visitors from June 1st to June 30th. Doesn't seem that long ago we passed the half a million mark. Thanks to all t...

A.   2 July 2008: Hi Andrew, Great achievement. This is such a unique site. I feel that there should be some option to delete a question one asked. I don't know whether that is good for you. but i would have forwarded the site to my friends, if I felt that they woul... (read in full...)

Can anyone understand the relationship I have with a married man?

Q.   I know nobody would understand the relationship i have.I`m having an affair with a married man.I`ve tried to stop my feelings towards him,but he`s persistent in courting me.He did the best and the sweetest things to win my heart.I know that married ...

A.   1 July 2008: Hey, have u read Jhumpa lahiri? she has written this wonderful story about an other woman.its in her collection, called 'interpreter of maladies'. the story is called 'sexy'. Read that. it might cure you.and please get out of this. fb... (read in full...)

I miss my ex girlfriend, I miss my kids' mom and feel terrible. My boys have never seen me cry and I fear they might hear me at night...

Q.   Hello. This is somewhat difficult for me to talk about but here it goes. I am a 36yr old single father of twins. I have raised them since they were born. Their mother is in prison and is out of the picture. I have no regrets about raising my ...

A.   28 June 2008: Oh! I admire you. I guess you are a wonderful person. I think you have your kids to hang on to. I think you should not worry too much about your exes. Whats gone is gone. And you are only 36. There is so much more to live. I am sure the aunts a... (read in full...)

Should I keep in touch with this older guy?

Q.   i went on holiday about 4 weeks ago and met a guy there who was on the entertainment team, i really liked him and he was such a nice person, about a week after i had come back off holiday he text me and told me he liked me and that he didn't tell me ...

A.   27 June 2008: Hey, Hang on dear. you are in different stages of your lives. The relationship is not immoral and the age difference is not much. But the problem is that you are in a very early stage of your life, just beginning to explore life. Though he ... (read in full...)

Anyone else turned off by the way some guys kiss?

Q.   Is there a reason why some men when they kiss a woman every seems ok but when the lips touch there comes the hard tongue and they think is sexy and that makes them great kissers. I find it a turn off and is not seductive..I actually said to this ...

A.   27 June 2008: I totally agree with you. Thrusting in the toungue is a turn off for me. But it is hard to explain this to a guy. may be some women like it fb... (read in full...)

My ex is now dating my friend! I'm angry that he used me as a friend after. Can we not trust anyone???

Q.   Hey...im sooooooo stressed. I spilt up with my boyfriend of three years at the end of last year. We decided to be friends, in fact i did near enough everything for him. I kind of hoped we wud get back together. I found out last week he has slept ...

A.   27 June 2008: Hi, Get this guy out of your mind. He is not worth you. And don't get bitter. It will not help you. Just get on with your life. Only difficult part I see is that you live close to your best friend. But that should not be so hard, once you dis... (read in full...)

Any advice on how to play this situation??

Q.   Any advice for how to play this - I haven't seen my boyfriend for 8 months. I am due to fly out to him in 3 weeks and we have had an argument (not the first time as the distance has taken its toll) but he has said not to bother coming he is not ...

A.   27 June 2008: Hi, I guess you should go if you will regret it later if you don't go. That is if this is some kind of last chance to renew the relationship. But be prepared for the worst. He might have gown apart. Or he doesn't feel strongly about the relati... (read in full...)

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